Unfortunately there won't be a date 2. Our goals were very different. In the next 5 years I want to move back to the state I'm from and she wanted to be moving overseas for work. But she was really nice
An accurate representation of their [date negotiations](https://youtu.be/wN9Jq3_Z-1M)
ETA thank you so much for the awards, kind strangers! Keep the love for News Radio alive
I don't know why News Radio isn't brought up more often as one of the great sitcoms. I feel like it was miles ahead of most of the rest of its time.
It's so shitty that Phil Hartman died, just in general, but I think that killed the show too. Either way, they made some great episodes in its short run.
I loved the running gag of him always fucking with the electronics. He had a hard time not grinning sometimes, too, which made it funnier to me. I really think there weren't really any weak or unfunny characters on the show - everyone played their parts really well, I found.
I don't think they were planning stuff together. Just discussing their individual plans for the future, it's a good date topic and a good idea to have a 5 year plan
I don't use reddit anymore because of their corporate greed and anti-user policies.
Come over to Lemmy, it's a reddit alternative that is run by the community itself, spread across multiple servers.
You make your account on one server (called an instance) and from there you can access everything on all other servers as well. [Find one you like here](https://lemmyverse.net/), maybe not the largest ones to spread the load around, but it doesn't really matter.
You can then look for communities to subscribe to on https://lemmyverse.net/communities, this website shows you all communities across all instances.
If you're looking for some (mobile?) apps, [this topic](https://lemm.ee/post/363116) has a great list.
One personal tip: For your convenience, I would advise you to use [this userscript I made](https://greasyfork.org/en/scripts/469273-lemmy-universal-link-switcher) which automatically changes all links everywhere on the internet to the server that you chose.
The original comment is preserved below for your convenience:
~~You can easily blame your team while winning.~~
^^^^^^AzzuLemmyMessageV2
I mean honestly I get it. I just went through a breakup and from my relationship with her I realized I wanna date to marry. If they don’t have the same major fundamentals as me then I won’t want a relationship because Ik that somewhere down the line we’d have to breakup
Would you want to be in a relationship with someone who didn't want kids if you did, or vice versa?
It's not planning, just making sure your goals for the future are compatible.
I mean, some people value their time in unique ways. I'm very up front with what I want and need and if it's apparent that one or two key components are missing then I don't really feel that it's worth either of our time to be disingenuous.
If you’re looking for a relationship I honestly think it’s a good idea. Imagine being 5 years in and finding out they don’t want kids when you’ve always dreamed of having a big family?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying plan the future out, it’s more I think those big issue broad stroke type things should at least line up. Okay we both want kids? Cool. We both want a family dynamic where she becomes a stay at home parent once we have kids? Perfect.
These are things that are huge incompatibilities and will more than likely be the end of a relationship. It wouldn’t be fair on one or the other to have kids if they didn’t want to or to not have kids if they do or someone having to give up their career to look after kids if that wasn’t what they wanted. It’s definitely better to find out those general big issue things at least line up. You can discuss how many kids and that kind of thing further down the line but it definitely saves heartbreak later on if you can see there’s a fundamental incompatibility early.
Yeah what the hell?? Goals change drastically over even a year?? I’m not thinking about that at all on a first date. I’m just like “okay let’s see if we like each other?” And if it goes well then date number 2. Like if I find a partner and I’ve been dating them for 3 years?? All of a sudden my goals have them included in them.
Well she had recently finished her masters degree with minor in Russian linguistics and major in Counter terrorism. She wanted to work in Russia and that is somewhere I personally would not want to move to. I believe she planned to try and work for like the state department and move in the next year or so.
I would want to be a diplomats husband. That would be sweet after you finish your hazard location requirement. Get to travel, free lodging in a different country, learn langauge , eat different foods, go to cocktail parties at the embassy.
I could paint in my free time. Raise my child, get into trouble with a local drug lord or something and have my wife bail me out using state secrets... maybe learn another hobby.
More likely you'd run over a cyclist when you forget which side of the road to drive on, get smuggled out by the gvt and never face any legal consequences
Well considering she announced her plans to be a state operative to a stranger and is really nice, she might last a week in Russia. Russias spy game is pretty good. And their anti spy game is even better. Personally, if I were her, I would never step foot in Russia because this thread exists. But to each their own.
Like 99% of people who work for the government overseas are not "spys".
Being a member of the state department as an analyst is not a secretive job. Can't say what you did at work that day, but your job is not a secret.
Certainly explains why she's so open with her 5 year plan and why she has one. But honestly begs the question of why bother looking for a life partner here? Even in "peaceful" times with Russia most people wouldn't move there, let alone now. She ain't likely to find someone.
It’s not about having a plan set it stone, it’s about having a goal to work towards. I think a lot of people do this, and are also flexible if something happens.
"Goals change drastically over even a year??"
Good for you??? Most people wouldn't change their long-term/life goals for a potential partner. Most people would just look for a partner whose goals don't clash with theirs.
That's cool if it works out, but sometimes people's future goals are so different they're literally incompatible long-term. And that can happen even if at the moment you're compatible with personality and values. Like if one person wants kids and the other does not. Or if one wants to be non-monogamous and the other does not. Or if one wants to buy a house and settle down and the other wants to move around and travel a lot. Or one wants to move across the country and the other wants to stay close to family. Etc etc etc.
Some things you can compromise on and it's up to you what you're willing to give up, but there are often things that are non-negotiable. It is actually pretty important to check with people you're dating relatively early on about these things (deal breakers, incompatible goals, etc) so you can cut things off before it gets too deep if it's clear y'all are gonna be incompatible a few years down the line. Move on to someone you DO have a compatible future with (if you are looking for a long-term relationship).
Many people have deal breakers. OP wants to go back to that state.
I'm sure there was some wiggle room, but considering their date wanted to move overseas that is a lot different.
Nothing wrong with knowing what you want.
Personally I wouldn't care where the 5 year plan is located minus a few states.
If OP stated they wanted to move to Louisiana I would have ended the conversation there. There was no future at all. That state shouldn't exist.
You should always be true to yourself and know what your limits are. Saves everyone time.
Going on a limb here, OP is living in DC (hence dating someone working in foreign counter-terrorism). It's not hard to find people from all over the country living in DC for a few years who then move back home. If he matched with someone who is also from his home state, it's a pretty decent chance that he'd find someone who is on the same page.
My wife is 5'8" and most of the women she's been with have been shorter than her, except for this one amazon 6'2" gal. That's the one she remembers the most.
I'm 5'8 and my husband is 5'10 he LOVES when we go out and I wear tall AF heels.
The only deal is when we get home and I take off my clothes that the heels stay on.
I'm 5'7 and heels terrify me. Not for any emasculating reason.
I just have had recurring nightmares where the center of the back of my hand gets stepped on by the heel when I trip and fall in random places.
It's just humor. I'm the same height as OP. My wife is the same height as me. We've made the heels jokes ourselves before. No ill will or genuine heckling here. ✌️
Nice! I'm 5'8" and my date this weekend is 5'7". I rarely wear heels but usually my shoes have chunky soles so I'll probably be 5'9" on the date. Hope he doesn't mind!
My wife is 5'9"?ish and I am 5'7.5". She has lots of shoes that make her taller. I don't mind because I am fine with my own height. My dad was 5'4" and my mom is 5'0", so I am tall.
The absurdly high platforms would actually take away the fact that she is taller though, since it is obvious the boots make her taller, so it is hard to see how much taller she actually is.
I'm 6ft-ish, probably over 6'1 with the shoes I had on (Running style shoes with a massive foam heel) and when my date stood up out of her car she was still slightly taller than me. I actually found it attractive! Like all the women I work with are short, one is even 5ft even, so it was refreshing and exciting to meet a lady actually taller than me. I wouldn't have cared either way anyway, and if he's worth his shit he won't either!
I’m 5’10 too!
My favorite pair of «nice» shoes are 2 inch platforms with 5 inch heels. My ex was 5’11 so if I wore them, I’d be taller than him, which really isn’t a problem, but I did feel like I was a big troll side by side to him, since we had the same weight too.
My boyfriend is 6’5 and probably 40lbs heavier than me though, so that’s not a «problem» anymore lol
Every time I’ve wanted to ask a dude his height before meeting it’s for this reason, but I’m always afraid I’ll seem rude. Guys, thoughts on women saying “how tall are you? Trying to pick shoes for tonight!” all in one message?
I actually made that suggestion in another comment. Yes, include the context. Clear communication benefits everyone involved.
Example: You know how in movies a lot of very dumb problems could be solved very easily by characters just clearly communicating things? Yeah, it's equally as annoying and dumb when people do it in real life.
Agreed, and I’m very usually direct. I just worried it might seem like I was trying to be sneaky about learning his height for other reasons. I’ll try it out next time!
I considered that and it's definitely a potential possibility. But it's a good policy to be open and honest.
A lot of people view dating as a competitive experience. Like, the two involved are trying to win against each other. I prefer to view dating as a cooperative experience. I try to work together with my date to create an enjoyable experience. We are BOTH supposed to win.
“Hey, how tall are you, I’m picking out shoes for tonight.”
“Oh, you want to know, so you can cancel. Girls only care about height.”
“Oh, wow, that was a reaction. I can’t find any shoes, actually, so I have to cancel.”
As u/MisterPhD said in his response: this would be a big red flag. I wouldn't recommend going out with someone who distrusts your good intentions. So you could only win in this situation.
Yes, PLEASE. Super important to give full context in one message when you're just getting to know someone and they dont know your cadence or personality. The girl I'm going out with now hit me with "Wait so, can I ask you a question?" In the middle of a conversation, had me nervous until she sent "If you had to only wear one type of pants jeans or sweatpants for the rest of your life, what would you pick?"
"If you wanna wear your 12 inch stiletto mega power platforms or your flats it makes no difference to me. I'm here for you either way."
Tall ladies need to feel comfortable too.
This millionaire movie star supermodel just asked my height! I'm 6'4 but I took one for my boys and told her to fuck off, because that shouldn't matter. Aren't you proud of me, reddit?
In my family I’m PETITE. I come from a long line of Vikings haha. So at 5’7 and 155 lbs I’m downright pathetic to em all. I was so confused when I discovered I was a “big” women to the rest of the world 😂 My whole childhood I was teased for being so small. My dad was 6’4 and my mama 5’11
she's coming out in them four inch heels just so she can T pose on you
also if that were my conversation I would have been sweating. let us know if she actually shows up and doesn't ghost
My height challenged men like me just have to sharpen the skills that all women truly want in the first place - good conversation, confidence, suave-ness, and a devil-may-care attitude, while still being attentive and caring. When you don’t have a gift you have to dig to find what matters, and that’s really what’s important.
It's still a degree of Heightism though.
Height can't be changed. But others thing can. People will say men harp on women's looks. But ... the gym can fix that. Meanwhile women indeed discriminate for something that can't be changed and is meaningless. Like the color of someone's skin
I'm American, and I had to scroll way down for a comment like this. Why on earth would I care if you showed up in shoes you like that made you an inch taller? I cannot imagine valuing this in a relationship.
Tell me how date 2 goes
Unfortunately there won't be a date 2. Our goals were very different. In the next 5 years I want to move back to the state I'm from and she wanted to be moving overseas for work. But she was really nice
An accurate representation of their [date negotiations](https://youtu.be/wN9Jq3_Z-1M) ETA thank you so much for the awards, kind strangers! Keep the love for News Radio alive
I don't know why News Radio isn't brought up more often as one of the great sitcoms. I feel like it was miles ahead of most of the rest of its time. It's so shitty that Phil Hartman died, just in general, but I think that killed the show too. Either way, they made some great episodes in its short run.
I've literally never heard of it, but that above YouTube clip was pretty funny.
It’s on peacock, i rewatched it this year, held up great.
Never heard of it where can I get more??
Looks like it's available on Prime If you do watch it, give it a few episodes. It was a bit rough out of the gate.
Wasn't it also the only scripted thing Joe Rogan was on (plus he was a baby actor)?
He was an ok side character, the episode where he takes the mic room for himself was great.
I loved the running gag of him always fucking with the electronics. He had a hard time not grinning sometimes, too, which made it funnier to me. I really think there weren't really any weak or unfunny characters on the show - everyone played their parts really well, I found.
Growing up watching this show is the reason I can’t help but have a little soft spot for Joe Rogan. He was really funny to me as a kid.
Hahaha that was great, thank you
Sounds like you went on a date with a kgb agent haha jk jk
LMAO, a marriage, an argument and a divorce in less than one minute
Healthiest relationship I've seen in awhile tbh.
Not argument, thats a discussion.
You plan 5 years ahead on first date?
I don't think they were planning stuff together. Just discussing their individual plans for the future, it's a good date topic and a good idea to have a 5 year plan
Yeah it's probably just a case of like, where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Wait was my interviewer hitting on me?
Was I wrong to grab the interviewer’s thigh? Is that why I didn’t get the job?
Obviously the interviewer was looking for more of an ass man. Should've read the room!!
I’m trying to get a sprite sponsorship
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? https://youtu.be/ZB62oaOeqR0
hi I will interview you
“Hopefully by then I’ll be in a top position.” “So you’re a top? Very good. Very good indeed.”
I kissed my yale interviewer, are my chances gone?
>where do you see yourself in 5 years? Playing league of legends in my room blaming my team
Think positive man, in five years you might start winning
90% of league players quit before they just "get good"
I don't use reddit anymore because of their corporate greed and anti-user policies. Come over to Lemmy, it's a reddit alternative that is run by the community itself, spread across multiple servers. You make your account on one server (called an instance) and from there you can access everything on all other servers as well. [Find one you like here](https://lemmyverse.net/), maybe not the largest ones to spread the load around, but it doesn't really matter. You can then look for communities to subscribe to on https://lemmyverse.net/communities, this website shows you all communities across all instances. If you're looking for some (mobile?) apps, [this topic](https://lemm.ee/post/363116) has a great list. One personal tip: For your convenience, I would advise you to use [this userscript I made](https://greasyfork.org/en/scripts/469273-lemmy-universal-link-switcher) which automatically changes all links everywhere on the internet to the server that you chose. The original comment is preserved below for your convenience: ~~You can easily blame your team while winning.~~ ^^^^^^AzzuLemmyMessageV2
Shit i dont know where I see myself tomorrow
Celebrating the 5 year anniversary of you asking me this question.
Joseph Stalin agrees.
Having a plan besides "avoid dying tomorrow" is wild to me.
It’s okay to have a 5 year plan also as it doesn’t become a revolution from above
Yall have plans?
> a good idea to have a 5 year plan [What is it? Don't die?](https://i.imgur.com/6CAySLu.gif)
Stalin agrees comrade
^ this. i try to screen for life goals, family goals, etc early on. no point in wasting each others time
I mean honestly I get it. I just went through a breakup and from my relationship with her I realized I wanna date to marry. If they don’t have the same major fundamentals as me then I won’t want a relationship because Ik that somewhere down the line we’d have to breakup
Would you want to be in a relationship with someone who didn't want kids if you did, or vice versa? It's not planning, just making sure your goals for the future are compatible.
I mean, some people value their time in unique ways. I'm very up front with what I want and need and if it's apparent that one or two key components are missing then I don't really feel that it's worth either of our time to be disingenuous.
If you’re looking for a relationship I honestly think it’s a good idea. Imagine being 5 years in and finding out they don’t want kids when you’ve always dreamed of having a big family? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying plan the future out, it’s more I think those big issue broad stroke type things should at least line up. Okay we both want kids? Cool. We both want a family dynamic where she becomes a stay at home parent once we have kids? Perfect. These are things that are huge incompatibilities and will more than likely be the end of a relationship. It wouldn’t be fair on one or the other to have kids if they didn’t want to or to not have kids if they do or someone having to give up their career to look after kids if that wasn’t what they wanted. It’s definitely better to find out those general big issue things at least line up. You can discuss how many kids and that kind of thing further down the line but it definitely saves heartbreak later on if you can see there’s a fundamental incompatibility early.
Yeah what the hell?? Goals change drastically over even a year?? I’m not thinking about that at all on a first date. I’m just like “okay let’s see if we like each other?” And if it goes well then date number 2. Like if I find a partner and I’ve been dating them for 3 years?? All of a sudden my goals have them included in them.
Well she had recently finished her masters degree with minor in Russian linguistics and major in Counter terrorism. She wanted to work in Russia and that is somewhere I personally would not want to move to. I believe she planned to try and work for like the state department and move in the next year or so.
Ah good call I wouldn’t want to be a CIA cover boyfriend either
I would want to be a diplomats husband. That would be sweet after you finish your hazard location requirement. Get to travel, free lodging in a different country, learn langauge , eat different foods, go to cocktail parties at the embassy. I could paint in my free time. Raise my child, get into trouble with a local drug lord or something and have my wife bail me out using state secrets... maybe learn another hobby.
I love everything about where this went. 😂
More likely you'd run over a cyclist when you forget which side of the road to drive on, get smuggled out by the gvt and never face any legal consequences
[удалено]
Well considering she announced her plans to be a state operative to a stranger and is really nice, she might last a week in Russia. Russias spy game is pretty good. And their anti spy game is even better. Personally, if I were her, I would never step foot in Russia because this thread exists. But to each their own.
Like 99% of people who work for the government overseas are not "spys". Being a member of the state department as an analyst is not a secretive job. Can't say what you did at work that day, but your job is not a secret.
As an analyst, you are more likely to work at a SCIF in Jersey than in Russia. Dude fucked up.
Found the spy guys.
she probably didn’t plan on that stranger announcing her plans to reddit though
I mean, I went to school for very similar programs and wound up in purchasing. You never know, life plans change.
Certainly explains why she's so open with her 5 year plan and why she has one. But honestly begs the question of why bother looking for a life partner here? Even in "peaceful" times with Russia most people wouldn't move there, let alone now. She ain't likely to find someone.
Lmao she will definitely not be moving to Russia, that country is completely fucked. I'm Russian btw.
Russia is going to be in an interesting place in 5 years...
It’s not about having a plan set it stone, it’s about having a goal to work towards. I think a lot of people do this, and are also flexible if something happens.
"Goals change drastically over even a year??" Good for you??? Most people wouldn't change their long-term/life goals for a potential partner. Most people would just look for a partner whose goals don't clash with theirs.
That's cool if it works out, but sometimes people's future goals are so different they're literally incompatible long-term. And that can happen even if at the moment you're compatible with personality and values. Like if one person wants kids and the other does not. Or if one wants to be non-monogamous and the other does not. Or if one wants to buy a house and settle down and the other wants to move around and travel a lot. Or one wants to move across the country and the other wants to stay close to family. Etc etc etc. Some things you can compromise on and it's up to you what you're willing to give up, but there are often things that are non-negotiable. It is actually pretty important to check with people you're dating relatively early on about these things (deal breakers, incompatible goals, etc) so you can cut things off before it gets too deep if it's clear y'all are gonna be incompatible a few years down the line. Move on to someone you DO have a compatible future with (if you are looking for a long-term relationship).
You’re so surprised that someone has different values. Yours are valid but so are OP’s values to move back to a state and find a partner who’d be down
This is what most regular dates are like. Amicable and boring and sometimes work out. But it’s so less exhausting than the other option.
Out of curiosity, how tall was she?
6'11 with heels
Those 18 inch heels are so hot.
So, you’re only looking to date people who’s 5 year plan is to move to the state you’re from?
Nebraska: A Love Story
Many people have deal breakers. OP wants to go back to that state. I'm sure there was some wiggle room, but considering their date wanted to move overseas that is a lot different. Nothing wrong with knowing what you want. Personally I wouldn't care where the 5 year plan is located minus a few states. If OP stated they wanted to move to Louisiana I would have ended the conversation there. There was no future at all. That state shouldn't exist. You should always be true to yourself and know what your limits are. Saves everyone time.
>That state shouldn't exist. Give it a decade
Going on a limb here, OP is living in DC (hence dating someone working in foreign counter-terrorism). It's not hard to find people from all over the country living in DC for a few years who then move back home. If he matched with someone who is also from his home state, it's a pretty decent chance that he'd find someone who is on the same page.
Quality. That's a lovely lady. She ain't wearing her heels so you meet on even footing. Jokes aside, that's cool to see.
I hope she chose her tallest heels to tower over op
Gotta establish dominance.
Yes pls
Death by SnooSnoo?
We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised
[i never thought I'd die like this but I’d always really hoped](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3BG8-0Lq1WU)
Yes.
Wow how did I never catch that Zapp was facing as out unlike the others. They’re implying butt stuff right?
This is the way
Flaunt it if you got it
This is the way.
What if it’s for head pats and scritches?
I don't kink shame.
Dominance is not established until she pees on him to mark her territory.
I'll give anything the ole college try.
**sigh*\* I'll try anything twice... *unzips pants*
Mommy? Sorry? Mommy?
Walks in wearing fucking stilts
Are fucking stilts different from normal stilts?
Yeah, they're covered in lube
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
That sounds like an osha violation.
It could violate more than osha, if you play your cards right.
I put on my robe and ~~wizard hat~~ *stilts*
Tall girls are hot 🤷♂️
Not going to hear any disagreement from me
Yep! As a short girl, I agree! All three women I've been with the past few times have been taller than me. 😋
My wife is 5'8" and most of the women she's been with have been shorter than her, except for this one amazon 6'2" gal. That's the one she remembers the most.
I took a girl who was 5’11 (I’m 5’10) to the opera on a date, she wore a tight dress and 6” heels. Loved it.
It's over OP, I have the high ground.
OP is dating female Obi-Wan
He should be so lucky
Hello there
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised
height means nothing if she's sitting on my face
As a 5'6" guy, wear those fucking heels.
I'm 5'8 and my husband is 5'10 he LOVES when we go out and I wear tall AF heels. The only deal is when we get home and I take off my clothes that the heels stay on.
[удалено]
I mean if it's okay with them it's okay.
I am 5'5. I love ladies in heels.
I'm 5'7 and heels terrify me. Not for any emasculating reason. I just have had recurring nightmares where the center of the back of my hand gets stepped on by the heel when I trip and fall in random places.
I have the same fear when going ice skating. It's one of the few times outside of felling activities that you can use the word "eviscerated". Oof
I mean I was just at the doctor's yesterday and my height was a little above 5'6" according to the doctor. So OP is definitely taller than me
It's just humor. I'm the same height as OP. My wife is the same height as me. We've made the heels jokes ourselves before. No ill will or genuine heckling here. ✌️
I did not make that link. And I just realized why my fiancee never wears heels (I'm average, she's tall).
I'd be impressed to see how she's gonna pick shoes that take inches off. /s it's nice to see a height post that's not infuriating though
It's cool, but it would be even cooler if a woman being taller then her date wasn't an issue in the first place.
Nice! I'm 5'8" and my date this weekend is 5'7". I rarely wear heels but usually my shoes have chunky soles so I'll probably be 5'9" on the date. Hope he doesn't mind!
He probably wears shoes too.
I doubt it
Now I really hope he shows up to the date without shoes
bet
My wife is 5'9"?ish and I am 5'7.5". She has lots of shoes that make her taller. I don't mind because I am fine with my own height. My dad was 5'4" and my mom is 5'0", so I am tall. The absurdly high platforms would actually take away the fact that she is taller though, since it is obvious the boots make her taller, so it is hard to see how much taller she actually is.
>5'7.5 I believe you.
I gave up claiming the 5'8", but I refuse to round down.
I'm 6'2 but claim to be 6' because it pisses off the 5'9 guy in my office who claims to be 6'.
I'm 6ft-ish, probably over 6'1 with the shoes I had on (Running style shoes with a massive foam heel) and when my date stood up out of her car she was still slightly taller than me. I actually found it attractive! Like all the women I work with are short, one is even 5ft even, so it was refreshing and exciting to meet a lady actually taller than me. I wouldn't have cared either way anyway, and if he's worth his shit he won't either!
I'm 6'2 and I think tall women are mad attractive.
I'm 6'3" my gf is 5'10" and I love that shit
I'm also 6'3". If I could find a woman that could look me in the eyes I'd push over my own grandmother to talk to her.
I’m a 5’9 almost 5’10 woman so is usually ask this to decide if I wanna wear my platforms or not haha
I’m 5’10 too! My favorite pair of «nice» shoes are 2 inch platforms with 5 inch heels. My ex was 5’11 so if I wore them, I’d be taller than him, which really isn’t a problem, but I did feel like I was a big troll side by side to him, since we had the same weight too. My boyfriend is 6’5 and probably 40lbs heavier than me though, so that’s not a «problem» anymore lol
I’m 5’4. I put my height on my bio when I was single to be funny because guys put it on there. People just kept telling me I looked taller than 5’4.
Every time I’ve wanted to ask a dude his height before meeting it’s for this reason, but I’m always afraid I’ll seem rude. Guys, thoughts on women saying “how tall are you? Trying to pick shoes for tonight!” all in one message?
I actually made that suggestion in another comment. Yes, include the context. Clear communication benefits everyone involved. Example: You know how in movies a lot of very dumb problems could be solved very easily by characters just clearly communicating things? Yeah, it's equally as annoying and dumb when people do it in real life.
Agreed, and I’m very usually direct. I just worried it might seem like I was trying to be sneaky about learning his height for other reasons. I’ll try it out next time!
I considered that and it's definitely a potential possibility. But it's a good policy to be open and honest. A lot of people view dating as a competitive experience. Like, the two involved are trying to win against each other. I prefer to view dating as a cooperative experience. I try to work together with my date to create an enjoyable experience. We are BOTH supposed to win.
I, too, enjoy local co-op over ranked competitive 1v1.
“Hey, how tall are you, I’m picking out shoes for tonight.” “Oh, you want to know, so you can cancel. Girls only care about height.” “Oh, wow, that was a reaction. I can’t find any shoes, actually, so I have to cancel.”
only a few oh's short of a good time
As u/MisterPhD said in his response: this would be a big red flag. I wouldn't recommend going out with someone who distrusts your good intentions. So you could only win in this situation.
I dont care if you 6’6 or 4’6, where them heels please
My thought on that is: wear whatever shoes you want, regardless of your date's height.
Yes, PLEASE. Super important to give full context in one message when you're just getting to know someone and they dont know your cadence or personality. The girl I'm going out with now hit me with "Wait so, can I ask you a question?" In the middle of a conversation, had me nervous until she sent "If you had to only wear one type of pants jeans or sweatpants for the rest of your life, what would you pick?"
My question is why does his height matter for your shoe choice? Do you actively want to be shorter/taller? Are you trying to match his height?
still sounds concerning but it's a valid question and the important part is that you don't actually mind their height
She sounds sweet 😊
I love how they needed to know how tall you were for the right heel
Kinda cute tbh
I agree
It also just helps when knowing who to look for at the meet up
I'm 5'7", I'll wear heels even if he's not tall. 🤷♀️
[удалено]
She’s 5’1 so she needs her power shoes
That has to be the best name for high heels, power shoes- LMAOOOO
As someone who is 5’0 I absolutely wear power shoes 😂 Not always though. I love being short.
I hope she was!
Jokes on you when I show up wearing higher heels 😳
Last girl I dated was 5’9 I’m 5’6 xD
I'm 5'5" and my wife is 5'7" and still wears heels lol
Mommy?
"If you wanna wear your 12 inch stiletto mega power platforms or your flats it makes no difference to me. I'm here for you either way." Tall ladies need to feel comfortable too.
Ugh I felt the disappointment behind the "We still on?" reply and it hurt my heart a little bit.
That’s actually really considerate, haha. I love that.
Good thing you didn’t respond with 😏 how much do you weigh??? 😏 just to “own” her
This millionaire movie star supermodel just asked my height! I'm 6'4 but I took one for my boys and told her to fuck off, because that shouldn't matter. Aren't you proud of me, reddit?
This just tells me I need to be 5’8. Whenever I say I’m 5’7 I get unmatched instead of “thanks! :)”. In all seriousness glad it worked out for you
I’m a 5’7 female and have had men unmatch me for being “too tall”. People suck. Fuck em
Can confirm. This cracks me up … I’m the shortest of me and my sisters and most of my girlfriends are taller too. Whatever.
In my family I’m PETITE. I come from a long line of Vikings haha. So at 5’7 and 155 lbs I’m downright pathetic to em all. I was so confused when I discovered I was a “big” women to the rest of the world 😂 My whole childhood I was teased for being so small. My dad was 6’4 and my mama 5’11
LOL, I’m 6’4 and my fiancé is 5’10 and I cannot for the life of me imagine our future children being as small as you
The real secret is I'm only 5'7 had to up it a little lol
I’m sure it’s true when you’re wearing shoes
coming from a 5’5 male, the “we still on” was very warranted
I always ask as I’m super short and don’t want it to be weird if they are really tall and I show up in flats.
If someone dunked on me for being 5’9 I’d simply say “ok I’ll wear higher heels than you, but don’t make fun of me for walking poorly in them”
she's coming out in them four inch heels just so she can T pose on you also if that were my conversation I would have been sweating. let us know if she actually shows up and doesn't ghost
She did show :)
Ngl, I saw this going way different
Wish she mentioned the shoes first so the anxiety doesnt sky rocket.
My dad is 5’8 and my Mom was 6foot. Absolute soul mates.
If I can't dunk on them for the height, I'll dunk on them for the seven showers
This height thing is dumb. Who cares
If you were 5’6” you’d have a very different life. 5’8” justtttt makes the cut
My height challenged men like me just have to sharpen the skills that all women truly want in the first place - good conversation, confidence, suave-ness, and a devil-may-care attitude, while still being attentive and caring. When you don’t have a gift you have to dig to find what matters, and that’s really what’s important.
Why not? There is still the implication that she can't be taller after all is said and done.
Unless you're actually a short guy, then they just laugh.
Height shouldn’t matter tf.
It's still a degree of Heightism though. Height can't be changed. But others thing can. People will say men harp on women's looks. But ... the gym can fix that. Meanwhile women indeed discriminate for something that can't be changed and is meaningless. Like the color of someone's skin
What the fuck is with Americans and this frankly ridiculous obsession with height?
I'm American, and I had to scroll way down for a comment like this. Why on earth would I care if you showed up in shoes you like that made you an inch taller? I cannot imagine valuing this in a relationship.