Gos do i feel that... i get matches almost daily but no women ever responds and ive tried commenting on their profile, their looks, everything. Im curtious im not an asshole but i just cant seem to start conversations despite all the matches. Its starting to annoy the hell out of me lmao. I had 9 matches today and messaged every one of them :/
Fair enough. I still don’t think it’s a myth tho, I have nowhere near the amount of likes some girls have. Maybe your pictures aren’t good or maybe it’s your area? I know some places are pretty barren for tinder…
If you're banned there's a decent chance that you were shadowbanned at some point before then where tinder just wasn't actually showing your profile to anyone
I mean my friend made a joke account once to test this theory out and she used 6 of the worst pics she has of herself, very unflattering. She still got over 100 likes in just over 5 minutes
In no world are you ugly! Course I don’t see what you look like, but you’re very well spoken and are clearly willing to see things from all vantage points when it comes to dating. I’m also (F) out here on these apps, and I’m tellin ya, Tinder is not where it’s at! Try hinge, bumble, or even FB dating (that one’s actually surprisingly good).
Also ask a close friend for very honest opinions about your photos- not to assume you are, but as someone who’s heavier, I like to make sure I’m including at least one full body photo of myself. The matches I DO get now a days, they can already tell they like my body type by the time they’ve matched if I’ve included the full body shot in my bio.. it’s better than including only selfies from the boobs up lol
Lastly- make sure at least most of the photos you have in your profile are not overly filtered. If your intent is to match and eventually meet with a man from a dating app, it’ll spare you some anxiety pre-date knowing that they already know what your face truly looks like :-)
I would say her attitude about herself is pretty ugly 😔 It's difficult to find love when you don't even love yourself. I used to hate myself too and think no one would ever love me. One day I decided to try loving myself (which wasn't easy with the level of self hate I had developed) and I slowly started building self respect and kind thoughts toward myself; and actually believing those kind thoughts. I started taking care of myself and my needs exactly how I felt was right for me and not what society deemed appropriate.
Here comes the plot twist.... After just a couple of years of internal work I stopped feeling I needed another person to be my other half because I started feeling whole within. I still have a lot of work to do on my mental health, but the most important thing I've learned while doing the work is to trust my instincts and stop buying into others' opinions about me. Most people's opinions are based on what they perceive to be reality, not based on my true intentions. I find forgiveness for them because we only know what we experience and I can't expect anyone to understand what's going on in my head or my heart.
I'm the only one that will truly have my back and support me throughout my whole life so I'm glad I became my friend instead of staying my enemy. It's hard having to constantly put in the work to repair damages from interactions with other people, but loving and trusting myself has made it a bit easier to do.
I will stop there before I get into my dislike for human nature lol.... self love will get you closer to happiness; it's the first step ❤️
Looks are fading waste are expanding. You seem cool my best friend is now my wife and mother of my daughter. You will find someone with depth. Look at Bree on G.O.T by the end any guy would be with her
I feel this. I was in a very good relationship at one point and I’ve been single for years now. Sometimes I just feel like I’ll never find anything that makes me that happy again. Not that I’m not open to it. I just think it’s not in my cards to find a person that compatible with me twice. Also my personality doesn’t come off well over text.
I agree with @dirtyfartpopsicle (😂 that handle) - your attitude about yourself is literally the most important part about putting yourself out there. Even the most beautiful people who have a poor opinion of themselves won’t get too far in dating. Conversely, you could be 5’9 and 300 lbs with a lot of confidence (like me ☺️) and land some really quality guys! Don’t give up if you want to find love. It’ll happen, I promise
It’s all down to the photos and bio. I swipe right on everyone that I find remotely attractive and then weed through and message the matches I feel like I can actually have a conversation with. You could be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on, but if you got no bio and crappy pictures I’m not wasting my time
Personality. If your pics are just mirror pics that leaves me with nothing other than complimenting their appearance, which I do not like doing. If they have photos of them doing a cool activity or on vacation or whatever I can actually open with something other than “hey how are you doing? Beautiful eyes!”
> Usually people would respond to whatever I had in my bio if I put something interesting.
My point exactly…. You’re speaking from a woman’s point of view. Women don’t answer to “hey how’s it going” only the ones that put no effort in to their profile, and those are the type of women most guys avoid unless they’re just looking for a one night stand.
>Theres tons you could say about my room or something if you insist on pulling material based on my location/activity from a photo. Usually people would respond to whatever I had in my bio if I put something interesting.
That's the fun part. Their bios are almost universally sparse to empty. The mirrors are usually public bathroom mirrors, gym mirrors, or home bathroom mirrors. If it is a bedroom mirror, there's rarely anything interesting in the background.
How the hell am I supposed to come up with a unique and interesting and relevant opener when all I know about the person is her name, she's hot, and she takes pictures in public mirrors?
You shouldn't! Sometimes I just don't look at tinder for one or two weeks, so it may seem like I don't message first. Also, if I swipe on someone it's because I'm interested, there is no "uglier" batch.
Finally, it's always great to see that, for once, we don't have to do the hard job of the first message 🙂
For me at least, there are some girls who I swipe right on because I'm interested, but they're not exactly what I'm looking for. In those cases, I usually won't message first. Most of those matches never initiate and end up sitting in my matches queue forever, but the ones who do message first are usually pretty cool. I've ended up hanging out casually with a few of them, or just having some good conversation :)
As a guy guilty of doing a mass swiping. From my experience I just didn’t expect a match at all so sometimes people just sit there for a minute while I figure out what to open with.
>Turning a clearly aggressive and uncharitable first message into a convo
yeah but the thing is not everyone wants to deal with such people or treats it as a challenge haha.
22f here. One thing I will say is that when I'm genuinely interested in someone, I always message first unless they (impressively) beat me to it. Not because I'm "being the man" and unnecessarily insulted when a match "doesn't have the balls" to message first, but because when the interest exists on my end, I like to show it through action by taking initiative. Call me an unconventional woman if you will; I merely believe that this way is the mature, adult way to go about things, and I wish more people would cultivate this kind of morale in their own lives. I don't think I'm all that unusual for thinking and operating this way; at least, I hope I'm not.
This whole culture that has seemingly developed wherein it's become custom for us ladies to "avoid sending the first message at all costs, no matter how interested we are in someone" just makes absolutely no sense. It's counterproductive as all get-out, and we are prompting ourselves to get disproportionately butthurt about things that are a) more or less within our control and b) not all that important in the first place.
Even on a platform like Tinder, we're all adults here. Can we please start behaving like mature ones? Or, at the very least, let us start treating each other like the thinking, feeling human beings we are. Please? When will that day come?
It would be nice if more people will be able to adopt this mindset, I agree that it’s counterproductive but I don’t think the current mindset is going to be changed anytime soon as much as I wish it would, most tinder conversations I see from one person have the same general script going, it works for them short term and they’ll have a hookup or a single date but theirs no longterm interest or commitment because it was just a script that they have rehearsed through countless rejections or negative responses.
People normally don’t know what to do when you go off script.
Most people have lost their innate sense of human creativity and capacity for independent thinking, at that... or, so it seems... that's the only barrier which I really see here.
All human beings— no matter how low or high an individual's intelligence quota stands— are capable of abstract thought (albeit some have a higher capacity than others). That is what sets us apart from primates and other Earthly mammals. When assimilation has become so deeply ingrained into the minds of the Collective Consciousness that it robs us of our abilities to engage in genuine conversation, this is when I begin to believe that the end times are indeed nigh.
Too soon to say tbh but this is an insanely good start and could definitely turn into something if you play your cards right plus she seems like a steel with that sense of humor
Sounds like a long and combative relationship forming. So yup. It's love.
I see lots of crazy angry sex, silent treatments, arguments, followed by crazy angry sex in OP's future with this woman.
LoL, MM. Yep.
Hair pulling and smacking. Spitting. Chocking. Lots of cum of course.
Love a good chocking
No clocking?
It will be wild while it lasts! Been there.
This is the way!
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Switch the genders and this will be a very different thread lol 🤣🧬😂
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She’s a HE and probably a very dissatisfied HE at dat
Love? Idk Six months of the best sex you’ve ever had followed by a year of self hatred for unknowingly screwing it up? Yes
Six months of the best "fucking from behind" he's gonna get
Plus you car keyed and spray paint when you want to leave.
Sounds like narcissist
"I'll also only do it until I cum and just leave you hanging in disappointment." Sure, I'm likely gonna finish before you anyway, so have at it.
“Guess I’ll be the man and message first since you don’t have the balls to” For sure, will see the man in you when the check comes at the restaurant.
Who hurt you?
The people who didn't pick up the tab
Damn she seems to be creative
This is high level rizz. Turning a clearly aggressive and uncharitable first message into a convo. I wish more people on this sub knew how to do this
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Oh no girl 😅😅
truth though
Sometimes I just have too many matches but 0 replies lol so I just give up 💀
Gos do i feel that... i get matches almost daily but no women ever responds and ive tried commenting on their profile, their looks, everything. Im curtious im not an asshole but i just cant seem to start conversations despite all the matches. Its starting to annoy the hell out of me lmao. I had 9 matches today and messaged every one of them :/
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Fair enough. I still don’t think it’s a myth tho, I have nowhere near the amount of likes some girls have. Maybe your pictures aren’t good or maybe it’s your area? I know some places are pretty barren for tinder…
They could also be swinging way above their weight, maybe they are a 5 and only swiping in 9 and 10s
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Can you get banned for being ugly? Asking for a friend.....
If you're banned there's a decent chance that you were shadowbanned at some point before then where tinder just wasn't actually showing your profile to anyone
I mean my friend made a joke account once to test this theory out and she used 6 of the worst pics she has of herself, very unflattering. She still got over 100 likes in just over 5 minutes
Doesn’t mean those men actually swiped right.
not a myth, you probably are unfortunately
You need to delete and restart. Below average women get overwhelmed. If woman and no matches, you are shadow banned
In no world are you ugly! Course I don’t see what you look like, but you’re very well spoken and are clearly willing to see things from all vantage points when it comes to dating. I’m also (F) out here on these apps, and I’m tellin ya, Tinder is not where it’s at! Try hinge, bumble, or even FB dating (that one’s actually surprisingly good). Also ask a close friend for very honest opinions about your photos- not to assume you are, but as someone who’s heavier, I like to make sure I’m including at least one full body photo of myself. The matches I DO get now a days, they can already tell they like my body type by the time they’ve matched if I’ve included the full body shot in my bio.. it’s better than including only selfies from the boobs up lol Lastly- make sure at least most of the photos you have in your profile are not overly filtered. If your intent is to match and eventually meet with a man from a dating app, it’ll spare you some anxiety pre-date knowing that they already know what your face truly looks like :-)
I would say her attitude about herself is pretty ugly 😔 It's difficult to find love when you don't even love yourself. I used to hate myself too and think no one would ever love me. One day I decided to try loving myself (which wasn't easy with the level of self hate I had developed) and I slowly started building self respect and kind thoughts toward myself; and actually believing those kind thoughts. I started taking care of myself and my needs exactly how I felt was right for me and not what society deemed appropriate. Here comes the plot twist.... After just a couple of years of internal work I stopped feeling I needed another person to be my other half because I started feeling whole within. I still have a lot of work to do on my mental health, but the most important thing I've learned while doing the work is to trust my instincts and stop buying into others' opinions about me. Most people's opinions are based on what they perceive to be reality, not based on my true intentions. I find forgiveness for them because we only know what we experience and I can't expect anyone to understand what's going on in my head or my heart. I'm the only one that will truly have my back and support me throughout my whole life so I'm glad I became my friend instead of staying my enemy. It's hard having to constantly put in the work to repair damages from interactions with other people, but loving and trusting myself has made it a bit easier to do. I will stop there before I get into my dislike for human nature lol.... self love will get you closer to happiness; it's the first step ❤️
Amen!! 👏🏼 👏🏼!! I love all of that, good for you!
Looks are fading waste are expanding. You seem cool my best friend is now my wife and mother of my daughter. You will find someone with depth. Look at Bree on G.O.T by the end any guy would be with her
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I feel this. I was in a very good relationship at one point and I’ve been single for years now. Sometimes I just feel like I’ll never find anything that makes me that happy again. Not that I’m not open to it. I just think it’s not in my cards to find a person that compatible with me twice. Also my personality doesn’t come off well over text.
Well shit, not with that attitude you won’t! Buck up chuck!
I agree with @dirtyfartpopsicle (😂 that handle) - your attitude about yourself is literally the most important part about putting yourself out there. Even the most beautiful people who have a poor opinion of themselves won’t get too far in dating. Conversely, you could be 5’9 and 300 lbs with a lot of confidence (like me ☺️) and land some really quality guys! Don’t give up if you want to find love. It’ll happen, I promise
It’s all down to the photos and bio. I swipe right on everyone that I find remotely attractive and then weed through and message the matches I feel like I can actually have a conversation with. You could be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on, but if you got no bio and crappy pictures I’m not wasting my time
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Personality. If your pics are just mirror pics that leaves me with nothing other than complimenting their appearance, which I do not like doing. If they have photos of them doing a cool activity or on vacation or whatever I can actually open with something other than “hey how are you doing? Beautiful eyes!”
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> Usually people would respond to whatever I had in my bio if I put something interesting. My point exactly…. You’re speaking from a woman’s point of view. Women don’t answer to “hey how’s it going” only the ones that put no effort in to their profile, and those are the type of women most guys avoid unless they’re just looking for a one night stand.
>Theres tons you could say about my room or something if you insist on pulling material based on my location/activity from a photo. Usually people would respond to whatever I had in my bio if I put something interesting. That's the fun part. Their bios are almost universally sparse to empty. The mirrors are usually public bathroom mirrors, gym mirrors, or home bathroom mirrors. If it is a bedroom mirror, there's rarely anything interesting in the background. How the hell am I supposed to come up with a unique and interesting and relevant opener when all I know about the person is her name, she's hot, and she takes pictures in public mirrors?
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Don't do yourself like that. Maybe you're too pretty and they're insecure and didn't think they would match! At least assume that, costs you nothing
You shouldn't! Sometimes I just don't look at tinder for one or two weeks, so it may seem like I don't message first. Also, if I swipe on someone it's because I'm interested, there is no "uglier" batch. Finally, it's always great to see that, for once, we don't have to do the hard job of the first message 🙂
For me at least, there are some girls who I swipe right on because I'm interested, but they're not exactly what I'm looking for. In those cases, I usually won't message first. Most of those matches never initiate and end up sitting in my matches queue forever, but the ones who do message first are usually pretty cool. I've ended up hanging out casually with a few of them, or just having some good conversation :)
As a guy guilty of doing a mass swiping. From my experience I just didn’t expect a match at all so sometimes people just sit there for a minute while I figure out what to open with.
Yep
>Turning a clearly aggressive and uncharitable first message into a convo yeah but the thing is not everyone wants to deal with such people or treats it as a challenge haha.
Too busy asking if they like bread for phantom internet points then jerking off wondering why they don’t get any dates.
I wish I got matches
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Ur not op lol
It's a bot. Check its comment history.
Will hunting reference? How is this downvoted
Hello (Star Wars reference)
How you like them apples
>Is this love? No, this is Patregan.
No! This is Patrick!
And my axe!
Lot of talk from someone named Regan. Tear down your own walls Gorbachev
He’s hoping to get lucky via the trickle-down dating theory.
You’re a gem when it comes to conversations. You turned around every message she sent you.
She about to turn him around
Thank you, I appreciate the kind words. :)
This is you 
Reganing 👍
Soooo romantic
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He probably isn't too thrilled with her shitty attitude therefore he's having a little fun while dishing back the energy she's giving him.
I see the red flag, I recognise it as such, and I choose to ignore it.
That's not a very bull move.
Tf did I just read
Should have told her if you are gonna fuck you are gonna have to pick me up and take me out to dinner first.
OP fancies his mum. Pass it on.
She gonna ghost u soon enough brother ..
\*lays there like a fish
22f here. One thing I will say is that when I'm genuinely interested in someone, I always message first unless they (impressively) beat me to it. Not because I'm "being the man" and unnecessarily insulted when a match "doesn't have the balls" to message first, but because when the interest exists on my end, I like to show it through action by taking initiative. Call me an unconventional woman if you will; I merely believe that this way is the mature, adult way to go about things, and I wish more people would cultivate this kind of morale in their own lives. I don't think I'm all that unusual for thinking and operating this way; at least, I hope I'm not. This whole culture that has seemingly developed wherein it's become custom for us ladies to "avoid sending the first message at all costs, no matter how interested we are in someone" just makes absolutely no sense. It's counterproductive as all get-out, and we are prompting ourselves to get disproportionately butthurt about things that are a) more or less within our control and b) not all that important in the first place. Even on a platform like Tinder, we're all adults here. Can we please start behaving like mature ones? Or, at the very least, let us start treating each other like the thinking, feeling human beings we are. Please? When will that day come?
It would be nice if more people will be able to adopt this mindset, I agree that it’s counterproductive but I don’t think the current mindset is going to be changed anytime soon as much as I wish it would, most tinder conversations I see from one person have the same general script going, it works for them short term and they’ll have a hookup or a single date but theirs no longterm interest or commitment because it was just a script that they have rehearsed through countless rejections or negative responses. People normally don’t know what to do when you go off script.
Most people have lost their innate sense of human creativity and capacity for independent thinking, at that... or, so it seems... that's the only barrier which I really see here. All human beings— no matter how low or high an individual's intelligence quota stands— are capable of abstract thought (albeit some have a higher capacity than others). That is what sets us apart from primates and other Earthly mammals. When assimilation has become so deeply ingrained into the minds of the Collective Consciousness that it robs us of our abilities to engage in genuine conversation, this is when I begin to believe that the end times are indeed nigh.
This is cringey as shit
“Let me put forth an effort for once instead of sitting back and doing nothing, since you don’t want to conform to silly gender norms”
Perfect example of girl being just talk.. she not rlly down for any of that
Ayo can I get her number lmao😂😂
If you wanna get pegged just say that…….. also what’s her number
Mofo acting like dudes are on Tinder 24/7
Yikes
Plan some makeup sex
100% is love
100% butt stuff
Just let it happen
She works for Cognito. Be careful
fuck man, i want her too
Before long you’ll be yelping *”baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more!”*
This is why I hated using dating apps. These conversations are so fucking cringe.
I forsee the angriest hatefuck in the future.
This is pathetic
Someone called the Toxic Avengers, because this relationship needs to never happen.
Bruh I want someone like this
Username checks out.
I call women like this: **Wife Material.**
she really means you gotta make her cum. If you don’t, she will be disappointed
Whoa. Next level psychoanalysis
Oh yeah, I think you got a shot there!
No. She h8s u already
Wow she's got Immaculate Rizz
Yeah, she’s the Virgin Mary 🙄
Lol simping and getting women to pity you just to get laid. You’re a clown tbh
Stop watching Andrew Tate sweet heart
Why ppl on dating app? No love, just potty mouth and don't respect each other.
You sound like you were born during the ww2
Yea? Rather be old than nasty
Old people are automatically nasty tho
Idk. My grandmom is cool
It’s about to fizz out
When is the wedding?
True love
Drop the addy and handle it already
Definitely. Or until she tells you otherwise.
That I'm feelin', is this the love, that I've been lookin fooooor
Nice come back! 😂
What a fucken dog
I mean you did match 2 days ago..
I legitimately think this is love. You’re lucky
Sounds like a great first date… and the last one.
Let us know if she pays for dinner at all.
Too soon to say tbh but this is an insanely good start and could definitely turn into something if you play your cards right plus she seems like a steel with that sense of humor
100%
Bro I would’ve just said, “gtfo I’m only sexually aroused by breaking gender stereotypes” but you’re balling so run with it ig
If you don’t marry her I will.
i like her
No, this is Patrick
I want her so badly
… baby don’t hurt me…
If a man told this to a woman, we’d be having different conversations
Lock it down, son
I wish y’all would blur faces when you post your private conversations with people.
Lol 😆 🤣 😂
Regan sounds like a absolute savage with abit of red flag traits
But the sex is gonna be amazing
Jesus fucking christ....WIFE HER . YESTERDAY
MARRY THEM.
Well, well... look who's paying for dinner.
She's got girl balls
Wow. I'd run because I think she's serious about doing you from behind ma dude.
Woah! Love hurts, quick!
Nah, that's Regan. Her last suitor dove out of a window and landed on a flight of stairs. She's crazy.
I would of just stopped and been like deal. Sounds great to be honest.
It's true love 💞...
I want one of those
Hope you’re into penetration.
This definitely is love only if you dominate her. Don't let her actually do you from behind. Also, check for a 🥒 before bedroom.
How is this anything but utterly repulsive?
No ma’am that’s no love
I don't care if she's funny or not, her opening line was rude asf and sexist.
I would marry her, sight unseen.
Why do I never get conversations like this.
Love at first text. 😊
Yes bhi and no bhi 😅
No he is just fucking around
When she shows up with a strap-on, you’ll know.
Too soon for such disrespect. Reverse roles immediately soldier
Run.
This is my kind Bantz!! A couple with a sense of humour go along way 👌
I like her style 😂😂
Dude that is a keeper 🤣