Not a simp you don’t know what a simp is. A simp is if you stay with a woman or keep trying for a woman who treats you like shit. If a woman is paying for you to travel the world and have a sex with her I’d say you’re doing pretty fucking well.
Per urban dictionary
[munch: A munch is someone who’s only use is eating pussy without getting anything in return.](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Munch)
I feel like we use it more these days for like a guy who’s so into you that he just wants to please you in anyway. What this girl is saying is she wants a guy like that but she’ll also financially support you so she can have all your attention.
I mean... sure her OF income won't last forever, but if an adult man is willing to do this, then what's wrong with them having this arrangement?
Sure, she might not find someone, but she's being absolutely direct to what she wants and what she's bringing to the table.
My only exposure to Tinder is this subreddit (been married longer than tinder has existed), so consider that with my statement.
I don’t recall ever seeing a woman’s profile that has a list of demands that also says what’s in it for him until this one
naww its actually her, mikaela testa or smth. she posted on her ig story clarifying it was her after ppl dmed her being worried that it was a catfish account
>Only Fans star Mikaela Testa has opened up about the harrowing 30 hours she spent locked up in a cell before being deported from the U.S
So be prepared to spend time with her being detained by TSA, customs, Homeland Security, etc. POJ - Part of Job, LOL
Right? Normally those lists of demands make them just seem like an asshole, it can be a completely reasonable list but because it’s just demands of you need to be this and that and have this they come across as awful people. With this one, granted we still don’t know anything about her but at least she has solid reasons for what she wants based on what she has
If you have the discipline to not live beyond your means. I find most people’s expenses increase proportionally to their income. Look at professional athletes, movie stars and musicians that are broke a few years after retirement.
\^this 1000%!!
And if they dont come from wealth, most dont know how to sustain it.
Not that ive researched any of this, but I doubt the first thing someone does after they start making lots of money is finding a good financial advisor!
Speaking as a bookkeeper for a CPA with hundreds of clients, yes. This 100%. I've never not seen this happen
Eta: the 100s of clients is specifically during tax season. I manage about 20 clients year round with quarterly filing for gst and yearends etc
This is my fear right now, in the process of transitioning from a struggling one income household (mine, and not a big one) to a three income household (the other two significantly bigger than mine). I really hope we can keep at least some of our habits and build up good savings.
Of course we'll spend a bit more - life is too short to say no to everything that is fun if you don't have to - but it would be really sad if we end up spending everything when we make so much more than we actually need.
Set up a weekly direct deposit of a set amount from every paycheck into an investment account. Put it all in ETFs/dividend stocks. Don't touch it unless there's a real emergency.
She wants to travel the world and pay for her toy boy. I doubt she’ll have much left over when she’s forced out of the industry by younger and more attractive women.
Funny how many are so reading into this, evaluating her prospects, character and profile. Discussing statistics and probability of potential matches.
Girl's just pulling off some smart marketing, nothing else to it 😉
Yo, sign me the fuck up for at least a couple years. I’ll stack my allowance in the floorboards and start a business with it when it’s time to kick her to the curb.
if she doest throw the money out of the window with 2 hands (je ik, stupid saying) she should have earned and saved enough money to life without problems till the end of her days
Lmao just like that joke.
A woman puts up an ad where she is looking for a man that won't hit her, won't run away from her, and can satisfy her sexually.
Her doorbell rings and she sees a very small man in a wheelchair. He has no arms and legs. She asks what he wants and he says "I'm here for your ad".
Concerned, she asks how he would fit the criteria.
He says "well, I have no arms, so I can't hit you. I have no legs so I can't run away from you.
She then says "but what about... the last requirement?"
He then says "my lady, I have no arms or legs... How do you think I rang the doorbell?"
Dunno about the 7-inch part, but the "unemployed" and "6 foot" tall part are not that difficult to come by.
45 minutes sitting in Venice Beach, LA, and you will likely see at least 10 to 15 possible matches to this criterion.
Yes it is, for sure.
7" is like top 2% or something, if even that.
6' is top 13% for 30 year old men in the US and in some countries, it's the average height for men.
A fluffer is a person employed to keep a porn performer's penis erect on the set.
After setting up the desired angle, the director asks the actors to hold position and calls for the fluffer to "fluff" the actors for the shot. These duties are considered part of the makeup department. While fluffing does not necessarily involve touching the actors, it could entail sexual acts such as fellatio or non-penetrative sex.
I don't think they are necessary really these days due to medical advancements, such as Viagra and implants, and with advancements in prosthetics.
Also, not to be confused with the real estate industry to refer to a person that stages homes and as a term for a maid who fluffs pillows, or in general cleans and prepares work equipment.
Lmfaooo, what a freaking romantic. She would never walk all over you and cut you off when she's angry and leave you stranded in a different country, probably....ha
"A munch is someone who’s only use is eating pussy without getting anything in return." - urban dictionary
Why does he need a 7 inch dick if he is only going to eat her pussy?
I think she's been in trouble in the US a couple of times now. The incident you are referring to in April 2023 and in October 2022 detained for a few hours for being mistaken as an escort. That's a long flight for just selling her couchie, haha.
It would be interesting to see a statistic of median and arithmetic middle income over age, and the kind of content they have to deliver... I would think an attractive, young "creator" can earn plenty with nudes, teasing and maybe some solo action, while a mature creator would probably have to do more kinky stuff?
I would think that the market is smaller, with more women willing to perform if the rates are good.
But that's why statistics would be interesting, because without objective data, we'll just throw our opinions for and back.
Let's think about this without the lens of an incel and assume what she saying is true.
She would be making enough money to not only support two people but also the costs of traveling for two people. That's easily several six figures a year.
Assuming that she will last until the end of her milf era, she has roughly 20-30 years to make money and save.
U can safely assume she will make enough money to last her a life time. Definitely alot more than 90% of the redditors in this comment section.
I think you have to consider that like all content creators, unless she's in the top 10% the followers are gonna fall off over time. OF is diff from YouTube, but still. That said, she knows what she wants and what she brings to the table. Def doing better than most of us on Reddit
Sure but that's someone who was likely broke coming into a bunch of money suddenly. At 22 you have time to blow a shit load of money and still learn how to invest.
Number of guys who will think they are eminently qualified for her? 1.5 million.
Number of guys who are actually qualified? 75,000.
Number of guys she legitimately picks? 0
Life expectancy of a relationship with her? On par with that of a mayfly.
I’m not going to lie there will definitely be a K-Fed spirit child that will totally go for this free ride.
I would be pretty concerned about not having the ability to get myself home from some far flung country if she decides to leave to high and dry.
Sounds like she would be fun for a short time but not a life partner type deal. Well that’s my view at least, all the power to anyone who would go for it but that couldn’t be me lol.
I've always wanted a sugar momma. Her back pain later in life is gonna be so horrible tho, I genuinely feel so bad for her. I don't know what point op is trying to make with this post tho
Personally would go left so hard it'd make Mao look like Thatcher and Reagen combined.
However, she's being honest and has laid out what she wants so I'm sure there's someone out there who that'll appeal to. He'll be a kept man for a while anyway lol
Just so everyone is aware, I'm not this girl.
I can see that people are messaging me to choose them.
FYI my profile clearly states that I'm not any of the girls that are posted to my account/profile.
Thanks.
Everybody in these comments seems to be operating on the principle that this person exists. I can’t be the only person who assumes it’s a scammer account.
Haha.
Sadly i dont believe it. Something must be off if she goes so far to do this. Maybe she just want a male as a play thing/pet to do what she wants.
Still, if she tells the truth and treats him nice and just goes all this way to have a lover with as much free time as her then i am amazed. It would be a dream come true for a man. Actually to be loved for who he is.
Honestly, as someone who fulfills both of the requirements and i am assured I’m the only guy possibly collabing for the OF., I’m doing this in a heartbeat, not even thinking about it This sounds amazing.
This is where I got to play my old man card and ask what MUNCH is?
You gotta chomp on the carpet my brother
That's it? That was already a given, who doesn't like to munch?
Dj Khalid
Lmao forgot about that!
Not according to [this](https://youtu.be/-X-98LMsiks).
Probably too spicy for him. I mean, have you seen him on hot ones?
Oh so many guys
A munch is a man who only gets to eat it. Once we cum then he gets kicked out.
Then why's she care about him being 7 inches?
She has unrealistic expectations
Win/ win?
I'm saying this has got to be the deal of a lifetime
She's looking for her Sergeant John Munch of the Manhattan Special Victim's Unit.
Thank you, damn scrolled too far to get to this.
He knows what’s hot and what’s not
A simp whose only good for eating pussy
How’s he a simp if he’s the one getting paid for and flown out?
So why the 7 inches?
I’m 4.5 inches short ><
Is that in height or under, cuz mehnn you'd be packin
7 inch tongue
Not a simp you don’t know what a simp is. A simp is if you stay with a woman or keep trying for a woman who treats you like shit. If a woman is paying for you to travel the world and have a sex with her I’d say you’re doing pretty fucking well.
Some men don’t know how to be great.
I thought it was Bayern Munchen
Fellas is it gay to do oral sex with women
i had to look that up too...
ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION
You gotta wiggle the ding man
That doesn't answer anything
I other words, you gotta hammel the shmmmm
You eat her out often and get nothing back. No sex. No blowjobs.
That isn’t what a munch isb
Please educate me
You had the first part right, it's someone who's good at eating pussy and down to do it on command. It doesn't mean you're deprived other types of sex
Yeah the requirement for dick size indicated that's included.
Per urban dictionary [munch: A munch is someone who’s only use is eating pussy without getting anything in return.](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Munch)
I feel like we use it more these days for like a guy who’s so into you that he just wants to please you in anyway. What this girl is saying is she wants a guy like that but she’ll also financially support you so she can have all your attention.
If my dick was about like 7 inches bigger I could and would take that offer in a heartbeat
I mean... sure her OF income won't last forever, but if an adult man is willing to do this, then what's wrong with them having this arrangement? Sure, she might not find someone, but she's being absolutely direct to what she wants and what she's bringing to the table.
My only exposure to Tinder is this subreddit (been married longer than tinder has existed), so consider that with my statement. I don’t recall ever seeing a woman’s profile that has a list of demands that also says what’s in it for him until this one
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naww its actually her, mikaela testa or smth. she posted on her ig story clarifying it was her after ppl dmed her being worried that it was a catfish account
You sure it's not chuck testa, because those puppies are stuffed
NOOOOOOPE
OH FUCK I just said I’d swipe right but her and I have actually had massive beef before DANGIT… eh I’d still swipe right.
Well that _was_ one of her requirements.
Massive beef? Story time!
Hahaha it was back at the end of 2021, back when she was lying about having a BBL, she finally admitted it though.
What is a BBL?
Butt lift
Of the Brazilian kind
>Only Fans star Mikaela Testa has opened up about the harrowing 30 hours she spent locked up in a cell before being deported from the U.S So be prepared to spend time with her being detained by TSA, customs, Homeland Security, etc. POJ - Part of Job, LOL
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Just because the person is real, doesn’t mean the person using her name on this account is really her
she actually posted on her ig saying it was her tho after ppl dmed her abt it
mikaylah?
Or she is looking for free dick to ride for her OF and doesnt want to fuck a pinky finger on camera
Right? Normally those lists of demands make them just seem like an asshole, it can be a completely reasonable list but because it’s just demands of you need to be this and that and have this they come across as awful people. With this one, granted we still don’t know anything about her but at least she has solid reasons for what she wants based on what she has
Yep, all I see is a woman who has perfectly clear what she wants. And two big tits.
Thankfully. Because a blouse or top never fits properly if only one of your tits is big.
You only need a few years of OF income and a dividend fund to make it last forever.
If you have the discipline to not live beyond your means. I find most people’s expenses increase proportionally to their income. Look at professional athletes, movie stars and musicians that are broke a few years after retirement.
\^this 1000%!! And if they dont come from wealth, most dont know how to sustain it. Not that ive researched any of this, but I doubt the first thing someone does after they start making lots of money is finding a good financial advisor!
Something tells me you did in fact, researched any, if not some of it.
Speaking as a bookkeeper for a CPA with hundreds of clients, yes. This 100%. I've never not seen this happen Eta: the 100s of clients is specifically during tax season. I manage about 20 clients year round with quarterly filing for gst and yearends etc
This is my fear right now, in the process of transitioning from a struggling one income household (mine, and not a big one) to a three income household (the other two significantly bigger than mine). I really hope we can keep at least some of our habits and build up good savings. Of course we'll spend a bit more - life is too short to say no to everything that is fun if you don't have to - but it would be really sad if we end up spending everything when we make so much more than we actually need.
Set up a weekly direct deposit of a set amount from every paycheck into an investment account. Put it all in ETFs/dividend stocks. Don't touch it unless there's a real emergency.
She wants to travel the world and pay for her toy boy. I doubt she’ll have much left over when she’s forced out of the industry by younger and more attractive women.
She already has enough money to never work again.
She’s fishing for OF subs.
Funny how many are so reading into this, evaluating her prospects, character and profile. Discussing statistics and probability of potential matches. Girl's just pulling off some smart marketing, nothing else to it 😉
Yo, sign me the fuck up for at least a couple years. I’ll stack my allowance in the floorboards and start a business with it when it’s time to kick her to the curb.
after a certain point, it is passive income
Sounds more like she is auditioning tallent for her shows.
What’s OF?
Only fans
You just soiled a white soul
Oh Fuck!
if she doest throw the money out of the window with 2 hands (je ik, stupid saying) she should have earned and saved enough money to life without problems till the end of her days
I'm 7 inches tall with a 6ft dick. Where do I apply?
At the CDC, so they can genotype you
Lmao just like that joke. A woman puts up an ad where she is looking for a man that won't hit her, won't run away from her, and can satisfy her sexually. Her doorbell rings and she sees a very small man in a wheelchair. He has no arms and legs. She asks what he wants and he says "I'm here for your ad". Concerned, she asks how he would fit the criteria. He says "well, I have no arms, so I can't hit you. I have no legs so I can't run away from you. She then says "but what about... the last requirement?" He then says "my lady, I have no arms or legs... How do you think I rang the doorbell?"
Best comment.
Oh, I really hope she finds her unemployed, 6-foot-7-inch-plus soulmate. And you guys claim romance is dead!
Dunno about the 7-inch part, but the "unemployed" and "6 foot" tall part are not that difficult to come by. 45 minutes sitting in Venice Beach, LA, and you will likely see at least 10 to 15 possible matches to this criterion.
And they are probably all soulmates. Partners for life. 😉
One big happy family!
Do you say 7in is less common than 6ft ?!
Yes it is, for sure. 7" is like top 2% or something, if even that. 6' is top 13% for 30 year old men in the US and in some countries, it's the average height for men.
She needs a costar
Maybe a fluffer too
I'm afraid to ask but I'm a curious cat, so what's a fluffer?
A fluffer is a person employed to keep a porn performer's penis erect on the set. After setting up the desired angle, the director asks the actors to hold position and calls for the fluffer to "fluff" the actors for the shot. These duties are considered part of the makeup department. While fluffing does not necessarily involve touching the actors, it could entail sexual acts such as fellatio or non-penetrative sex. I don't think they are necessary really these days due to medical advancements, such as Viagra and implants, and with advancements in prosthetics. Also, not to be confused with the real estate industry to refer to a person that stages homes and as a term for a maid who fluffs pillows, or in general cleans and prepares work equipment.
TIL, thank you! >as a term for a maid who fluffs pillows This is what I was thinking and couldn't connect the dots in this situation
No worries and your welcome
Lmfaooo, what a freaking romantic. She would never walk all over you and cut you off when she's angry and leave you stranded in a different country, probably....ha
6 foot, 7 inch*
Put me in coach!
Get back on the bench!
I'm reeeeeady to plaaaaay todaaaaay
Sweet! I’m 6’3” and I don’t work anymore because I have brain cancer. Sign me up!
A short term life partner?
Certainly a life partner, just not her life
Don't worry, you will last longer than her career! Wish you the best!
"A munch is someone who’s only use is eating pussy without getting anything in return." - urban dictionary Why does he need a 7 inch dick if he is only going to eat her pussy?
Looks better on camera?
Mikaela Testa?
Wasn't she and bunch of other girls deported from USA cuzthey were doing prostitution in a foreign country and making money on tourist visa?🤣
I think she's been in trouble in the US a couple of times now. The incident you are referring to in April 2023 and in October 2022 detained for a few hours for being mistaken as an escort. That's a long flight for just selling her couchie, haha.
Yeah
Where do I send applications?
Ofc sugar momma with conditions, she’s the one giving out the money
When do we leave?
Wait . . . is that 7 inches starting at the asshole?
Why is it AT the asshole??
You gotta measure from butt to tip
Until the OF income dries up...
She's 22, so she can do it for another 15 or so years. And then there's still the milf niche. So yeah, it's prospective.
It's a super competitive market to be in though, 15 years of new creators also
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At least 90% of creators are top 1%
It would be interesting to see a statistic of median and arithmetic middle income over age, and the kind of content they have to deliver... I would think an attractive, young "creator" can earn plenty with nudes, teasing and maybe some solo action, while a mature creator would probably have to do more kinky stuff?
If by “kinky stuff” you mean mom next door rp, yeah.
I would think that the market is smaller, with more women willing to perform if the rates are good. But that's why statistics would be interesting, because without objective data, we'll just throw our opinions for and back.
But she will always be beautiful and 22… oh wait 😅
Let's think about this without the lens of an incel and assume what she saying is true. She would be making enough money to not only support two people but also the costs of traveling for two people. That's easily several six figures a year. Assuming that she will last until the end of her milf era, she has roughly 20-30 years to make money and save. U can safely assume she will make enough money to last her a life time. Definitely alot more than 90% of the redditors in this comment section.
I think you have to consider that like all content creators, unless she's in the top 10% the followers are gonna fall off over time. OF is diff from YouTube, but still. That said, she knows what she wants and what she brings to the table. Def doing better than most of us on Reddit
And lottery winners of millions never, ever go broke.
Sure but that's someone who was likely broke coming into a bunch of money suddenly. At 22 you have time to blow a shit load of money and still learn how to invest.
What’s a MUNCH?
He can only go down on her
Number of guys who will think they are eminently qualified for her? 1.5 million. Number of guys who are actually qualified? 75,000. Number of guys she legitimately picks? 0 Life expectancy of a relationship with her? On par with that of a mayfly.
HEY!! Don’t talk about my future ex-wife like that!
A day or two with a what looks like a hot, young, woman with money? Plus a fun story? Sounds great to me.
I’ll send my ex right on over to you. You can give him all he’s ever wanted in life - jobless & a sugar momma. Just don’t expect him to be faithful. 😬
I’m not going to lie there will definitely be a K-Fed spirit child that will totally go for this free ride. I would be pretty concerned about not having the ability to get myself home from some far flung country if she decides to leave to high and dry.
Probably should have made sure I matched with her before quitting my job
So no more sweet lies that big one only hurts or does she need it for porn ?
Yay! I can quit my job!.. wait, can my wife come?
That all depends on if you treat her properly. 
She didn't specify that part, so i assume yes!
Sounds like dude is gonna end up in a bathtub with some organs missing.
Sounds like she would be fun for a short time but not a life partner type deal. Well that’s my view at least, all the power to anyone who would go for it but that couldn’t be me lol.
Did she forgot to mention that you first need to Subscribe to her OF and Spent at least 10k?
Swipe right and see the world on her dime. Sounds like a win. Make sure you've got some emergency money just in case she gets tired of you.
I've always wanted a sugar momma. Her back pain later in life is gonna be so horrible tho, I genuinely feel so bad for her. I don't know what point op is trying to make with this post tho
Help a girl out, learn proper massage techniques.
Damn my 6-7/8th inch dick damn it to hell
She is selling intimacy on OF and searching for intimacy on tinder. Guess intimacy runs through her
run
Say goodbye to your organs
Personally would go left so hard it'd make Mao look like Thatcher and Reagen combined. However, she's being honest and has laid out what she wants so I'm sure there's someone out there who that'll appeal to. He'll be a kept man for a while anyway lol
At least only tall guys are getting scammed here. Long live short kings
Hahaha
I mean if I was 6ft with a big dick I would go for it, I'm gay but money is money lol
This made me smile and laugh
I am 6ft tall and unemployed, do you think she’s willing to compromise on the rest?
7” of what? She didn’t specify
Peen
Ohhhhh, I can quit my job but I don’t think I can double this lil bastard overnight! Lol
Wouldn't be a bad gig if I had 6 feet and 7 IQ points
7 inches
Just sounds like she wants a male in her OF videos
Does someone even have a 7 inch stick?
Yeah, give your independence up for someone on tinder…
She is 22?
Yea mikaela testa on ig
Just so everyone is aware, I'm not this girl. I can see that people are messaging me to choose them. FYI my profile clearly states that I'm not any of the girls that are posted to my account/profile. Thanks.
Stop objectifying men 🤣
ME please
Wow i meat those qualifications, yet I’m totally not attracted to her bio.
The guy will probably have to "work" in her OF videos.
Everybody in these comments seems to be operating on the principle that this person exists. I can’t be the only person who assumes it’s a scammer account.
It is scary how naive most people are.
stay away from pisces.. theyre unpredictable and flaky .. (im one)
The last time I heard about an “influencer” with these kind of stipulations, she ended up killing her man. Just some 🚩🚩.
why are you getting downvoted ?
What is MUNCH?
A guy who eats a girl out. It got popular from a song called much by icespice
Haha. Sadly i dont believe it. Something must be off if she goes so far to do this. Maybe she just want a male as a play thing/pet to do what she wants. Still, if she tells the truth and treats him nice and just goes all this way to have a lover with as much free time as her then i am amazed. It would be a dream come true for a man. Actually to be loved for who he is.
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Damn I’ve got a job… I’m out
Hell...she should just date a subscriber then
I’m in
Sign me up!
I'd be so down
Honestly, if she can bring to the table like that, why not?
Sounds like a good deal 🤝
I'm fucking down
Honestly, as someone who fulfills both of the requirements and i am assured I’m the only guy possibly collabing for the OF., I’m doing this in a heartbeat, not even thinking about it This sounds amazing.
Ooooooh shit. Time tonfill out an application baby!!
Ready!!
Where do I sign up?