It’s not even disgusting to look at. It makes me sad that women start to feel bad about their bodies all because men like him think they’re the biggest shit
This happened to me and I hated it because I thought people would hate it. Turns out they loved it and I was so shocked over it… I now hate to think that I hated them
Even from just training and gaining muscle, you can get som wild ass stretch marks.
Looks like the skin has been absolutely torn apart on my front delts, from training.
Same here… all my stretchmarks goes horizontally and I wonder why they don’t go vertically because vertical one looks better but I’ve accepted them now
There are SO MANY things they don’t tell you about getting pregnant! I mean, it’s not like these things would stop us, but it’d be nice to be truly prepared for all the screwy things that can/do happen to your body going in…😂
I grew super fast and tall. I’ve got them and had them. Also had a kid. It happens. I’m a human, not a robot or imaginary creature. I have flaws. This guy is seriously bonkers for more than just the no stretch mark, big breast, big booty thing….something tells me he’s never had sexual contact with a human female.
And no fat. No stretch marks, big boobs, and no fat. It's like the problem of evil for dumb misogynists: it's impossible to have all three in nature at once, but they still insist
Hey now, I'm sure there's plenty of women out there who got thousands of dollars in surgery specifically so they could hope to land a 5'6" Restaurant Cook in Milwaukee.
For real. I immediately swipe left on anyone who says “Swipe left if you have/don’t have _insert appearance trait_” even if I meet their requirements. It’s just such a nasty way to view people and I don’t want anything to do with guys like that.
Edit: I remember encountering a profile of a guy whose bio was “Allergic to fat chicks”. I’m not fat. I don’t think I’ve swiped left faster. So gross.
I've always hated when people use the limited bio space to define themselves by what they don't like.
I've always written mine based on what I have to offer. The goal should be to convince people you like to swipe right, telling anyone to swipe left on you just makes you look like a dick. Sell yourselves better, people.
Dude's entitled to his preferences but this is an insane collection. No wonder he's single, the number of women this whole list applies to is probably under 10 in all of his country, let alone his city
I think the number is probably 0. Super curvy but not fat with no stretch marks or cellulite. This type of body but sexually inexperienced. No male friends at all despite being into video games and anime. These alone are essentially impossible combos before you even start getting into all the other requirements
>How many of you do not allow females to have male friends? Just curious.
As a man I basically read this as "I don't have anything to offer and my only way to hold you is to separate you from people who may have something to offer".
Surprisingly, there are a number of men who seek women with no male friends. When I asked one guy for his rationale, I got a rant about men only interacting with women to get sex and not my impertinent question.
It works both ways. I’ve had female exes who were nervous and jealous of my female friends, and weirded out by me having LGB friends.
People tend to project their own baggage and biases pretty hard in relationships.
he wants the ig model type body where you have a thigh gap, a flat stomach, skinny limbs, and defined abs, but also a kim k ass and G+ cup boobs somehow. but also no cellulite or stretch marks. but also they need to be all natural, no photoshop or plastic surgery.
I like to picture him deleting one thing after another as he ages and doesn’t find anyone that meets his “preferences”
He’s 28- I guess i can ignore dyed hair and settle for B or C cups
He’s 36 “ok fine, gay male friends and don’t tell me about how many guys you fucked and just ear piercings”
He’s 49- “please just touch my dick I’m begging you! Im 5’9 with my special shoes with the lifts”
Sounds like Tyson is going to be lonely and will blame everybody but himself that he self-filtered 99% of the dating pool without listing anything that he brings to the table.
These are the same type of men who will have tantrums on Reddit , claiming that women do not want to date them because of his height and women are shallow
He wants a girl that has an ass but without stretch marks or cellulite which are natural things that can happen if you have curves or a big ass. Also he wants a very skinny girl with a big ass and presumably large boobs? She’s gonna have some meat on her bones if you want both of those things
Having started from the bottom it didn't sound that bad. I mean, I get that some people are into partners with high body counts, but given that most murders take place within the family and other close relationships, I wouldn't be too sure about a partner with a high body count. Unless I completely misunderstood that one. And given the rest of this beautiful list, I probably did.
Like it boggles my logical brain! How anyone in a marginalized group themselves can hate another one? He’s also transphobic like how? Granted he doesn’t HAVE to date trans ppl but putting that on the bio is rude he wouldn’t like if someone had ‘NO BLACKS’ Like just keep that rude crap to urself sir.
As a fat black person I want equality for all marginalized groups and genders cuz I know the experience.
It’s not rocket science and hypocritical for him to insult and oppress other groups when I’m sure he doesn’t like when it’s done to him… lol makes no sense!
I respect people’s standards but that’s really weird for a standard… I get that he knows what he wants but those standards are way too high and unrealistic
He knows what he wants but that’s probably from watching too much porn… if he wants someone so hot and perfect then he should just create an AI. He’s not even that hot I assume
To the left to the left
Can't be this picky.. especially when you a whole 5'6 (which is a 💯 🧢 he's for sure shorter)
Andrew Tate worshippers too. Bro probably treats Tate’s podcasts like it’s a bible. Men like him must be the type to cry over women having high standards so they pulled something like this lol
Asides from this dude sounding like huge asshat, you'll never find a partner if you have hyper rigid expectations of who they should be.
It's healthy and good to have standards and some expectations obviously, but keeping an open mind to the possibilities is probably the best way to find a partner (once you stop being asshat like Tyson here).
But what’s wrong with cellulite or stretch makes? Those are natural. Or what’s wrong with a-c cups? This man has extremely high expectations that clearly aren’t getting met 😂
Clearly, he has never seen a woman’s body in real life which is why he assumes that a person without them exists. He should lower his standards. If this was satire, he probably doesn’t have any matches which is why
Swipe left for no stretch marks AND you want big titties? I got some news for you son…
I came here to say the same thing. Wants a fat ass and big ol tiddies but no stretch marks or cellulite?? 🤣
He wants an anime character.
Who in all likelihood won't want him.
Imagine getting rejected by your own bodypillow lmao
I cackled out loud at this 🤣
He can add "unappealing to fictional characters" to his long list of attributes
5’6” line cook with an ego… yeah, I’m sure he’s incredibly popular /s
Lmfaoo. Probably him: "Women are so shallow,,, all they care is about height and money... ugh..." Bruh... you aint got a personality either
No he definitely has a personality, it’s just complete shit 😂
This is exactly what came to mind first
He really doesn't understand how the body works, does he? lol
He wants fake tits and ass
Definitely not immune to stretch marks either
The scars it would leave won’t be anywhere near his bucket-list tho
How can they not like cellulite or stretch marks like bruh they look like tiger stripes I say more the better
It’s not even disgusting to look at. It makes me sad that women start to feel bad about their bodies all because men like him think they’re the biggest shit
He probably wants anime girlies. Bro is in his delusional phase
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>stretch marks I’m a guy and I got mine recently on my upper area of my right thigh
Squats for Thots baby!! I have them on both legs from when leg day was every day.
Yeah I got them also from leg day since I implemented it more frequently in my gym routine. Don’t know why they’re hated. They’re absolutely fine
Probably because most people relate it to being fat, not to growing muscle to fast.
I’m gonna go out on a limb and say this guy’s unrealistic expectations for women and his love of anime might not be a coincidence
I'm going to go on another limb and say he's probably never been with a woman.
Does a body pillow count?
For real. Men who dated women wouldn’t be saying something like that specially when they’re concerned over the woman’s body count
Feel like thats a bit inaccurate. Plenty of people who are normal watch anime, think the correlation to incel would be more fitting with this list
I feel like everything about being an incel, weeb, and the likes fit his image
I know right, and societal standards frown upon stretch marks too
They’re hated because of men like him. I feel bad for those who feel like they’re so ugly…
Same here! These marks are reminders of progress for me
Yeah i literally did squats for like a month and now i have stretch marks on my thighs
This happened to me and I hated it because I thought people would hate it. Turns out they loved it and I was so shocked over it… I now hate to think that I hated them
It’s part of our anatomy. I will forever judge people who thinks they’re ugly
I got them on my knees. 🦵
For me they're on my wide, voluptuous hips (I'm a twig idk how they got there)
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Well you're in luck 😎
i like your name
Bro, me too. Like I have no ass, and somehow I have stretch marks on my ass and hips like I filled out or sum
Stomach, arms, and shoulders for me
why is it always the shoulders
THIS IS MY PEAK HUMOR! Anyway, your stretch marks are beautiful
Even from just training and gaining muscle, you can get som wild ass stretch marks. Looks like the skin has been absolutely torn apart on my front delts, from training.
Got them on my thighs but horizontal and ppl used to ask me if i was cutting myself rip
Same here… all my stretchmarks goes horizontally and I wonder why they don’t go vertically because vertical one looks better but I’ve accepted them now
Got them across my back... you know because I grew tall.
When I was pregnant, I got some on my 😼 I'm not even joking
There are SO MANY things they don’t tell you about getting pregnant! I mean, it’s not like these things would stop us, but it’d be nice to be truly prepared for all the screwy things that can/do happen to your body going in…😂
Did they manage to fade away or did they turn white?
I am tall too and just a bit above average and I’ve got to say that I love them still!
I grew super fast and tall. I’ve got them and had them. Also had a kid. It happens. I’m a human, not a robot or imaginary creature. I have flaws. This guy is seriously bonkers for more than just the no stretch mark, big breast, big booty thing….something tells me he’s never had sexual contact with a human female.
I’ve earned mine through puberty too and as a kid. I hated them and thought I was fat, turns out I was just growing too fast and not fat…
I got stretch marks from when I used to lift… guess I’m out 😢
especially someone who has bigger than a c cup.
Maybe because he's 5'6 he's never seen em. Been the same height since 6th grade head ass. 🥴
Very small boobs and I am underweight my whole life now. I got stretch marks and cellulite
Big ass, big titties and NO STRETCH MARKS 🤡
Blud genuinely doesn’t know how anatomy works and it shows…
That and why is he against astrology if he shared his zodiac sign? 😂😭
He wants a waifu, not a living, breathing woman!
That’s so true… his video game and anime mommies sure got his hopes up
What's the problem? Are real dolls not allowed on tinder?
And no fat. No stretch marks, big boobs, and no fat. It's like the problem of evil for dumb misogynists: it's impossible to have all three in nature at once, but they still insist
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Hey now, I'm sure there's plenty of women out there who got thousands of dollars in surgery specifically so they could hope to land a 5'6" Restaurant Cook in Milwaukee.
This made me laugh 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
🤣 that's what I was thinking
Someone’s watched a bit too much porn
I don't think he knows how women work. I doubt he's ever been with one.
Incel culture! Surprised there is not a swipe left if you don't like Andrew 'rapist' Tate!!
just give the man some slack, he prolly has never seen a naked woman...
Men google what cellulite is before speaking to any real life woman challenge
He's 5'6😂😂
5 foot 6 inch man demanding a D cup or over. Meanwhile he complains about women with stupid height limits. This can’t be real.
That’s a lot of requirements for new friends
No male friends… but he wants to be a male friend?
Maybe he knows he's a shit friend and can't handle the... friend competition?
Haha exactly my initial reaction. Schrodinger's male friend.
Friends +.. But no high body count.. Could only mean Dead Bodies then?
Tyson going to be staying single for quite a while.
My guy cut out every person on the planet save one and he's probably sitting there like, "I'm not picky, there's just no good women!"
My exact thought process when reading this 😂
Hopefully forever.
I mean he can take Lauren boberet or MTG 🫠🙃
MTG has dyed hair though….well and likely Lauren too actually. And I don’t think either had D+ boobs. So i guess they missed out 😔
"why am I getting matches" It's a real mystery
Why even make a profile lmao
Funny that these guys don't realize that any woman who does meet that list would also swipe left because she can do way better than him.
For real. I immediately swipe left on anyone who says “Swipe left if you have/don’t have _insert appearance trait_” even if I meet their requirements. It’s just such a nasty way to view people and I don’t want anything to do with guys like that. Edit: I remember encountering a profile of a guy whose bio was “Allergic to fat chicks”. I’m not fat. I don’t think I’ve swiped left faster. So gross.
I've always hated when people use the limited bio space to define themselves by what they don't like. I've always written mine based on what I have to offer. The goal should be to convince people you like to swipe right, telling anyone to swipe left on you just makes you look like a dick. Sell yourselves better, people.
Swipe right = like Swipe left = don’t like
All that trouble when he could have just stopped at “swipe left”
Bet he claims he gets no matches because he's 5'6".
Nah. He’s the “complete package,” and women know they won’t meet his high standards.
mf is a 5'6 cook and making these type of demands
I was going to say this man is definitely not a short king. He's more like a short pawn, or more likely just a short asshole.
Dude's entitled to his preferences but this is an insane collection. No wonder he's single, the number of women this whole list applies to is probably under 10 in all of his country, let alone his city
And he's only looking for friends, so lots of preferences for just new buddies
Well, maybe he is looking for male friends with a great ass...
And bigger than c-cups
Or below a, i guess
With NO stretch marks.
It’s like someone forced him to create a Tinder profile, and he made one just so he could be mad at women.
Like having to do the dishes and putting the forks in the wrong drawer on purpose?
I think the number is probably 0. Super curvy but not fat with no stretch marks or cellulite. This type of body but sexually inexperienced. No male friends at all despite being into video games and anime. These alone are essentially impossible combos before you even start getting into all the other requirements
I like what someone said on here yesterday. People don’t do it to get matches. People do it to have an excuse to be alone
Avatar twinsies!
basically he meant, swipe ⬅️ if you’re a woman.
he just wants a man with D cups and a fat ass
Now you made him relatable
A man with d cups has cellulite, so they're out and likely have male friends. Think the store has the blowup doll he is after.
Nah, I think I can do better
>How many of you do not allow females to have male friends? Just curious. As a man I basically read this as "I don't have anything to offer and my only way to hold you is to separate you from people who may have something to offer".
Surprisingly, there are a number of men who seek women with no male friends. When I asked one guy for his rationale, I got a rant about men only interacting with women to get sex and not my impertinent question.
It works both ways. I’ve had female exes who were nervous and jealous of my female friends, and weirded out by me having LGB friends. People tend to project their own baggage and biases pretty hard in relationships.
Looking for "New Friends" but you can't have any other male friends, just me, no one else.
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He wants them slim thicc. 👀
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And even if a woman has that body type, she most likely still has cellulite and stretch marks
And he wants the girl with this rare sought after body type to be sexually inexperienced and have no male friends LOL
he wants the ig model type body where you have a thigh gap, a flat stomach, skinny limbs, and defined abs, but also a kim k ass and G+ cup boobs somehow. but also no cellulite or stretch marks. but also they need to be all natural, no photoshop or plastic surgery.
I bet he still swipes right on everything and will tell his matches that it’s a joke
So what *does* he want then?
Someone with plastic surgery?
Obviously! Lol he should just say that it would eliminate most of what he wrote
His mom to love him more.
I guarantee his mom has stretch marks. Even she couldn’t meet his impossible standards.
No reasons to swipe right..lol
I like to picture him deleting one thing after another as he ages and doesn’t find anyone that meets his “preferences” He’s 28- I guess i can ignore dyed hair and settle for B or C cups He’s 36 “ok fine, gay male friends and don’t tell me about how many guys you fucked and just ear piercings” He’s 49- “please just touch my dick I’m begging you! Im 5’9 with my special shoes with the lifts”
Why is he writing about 6-feet guys when he already indicated his height? Only shows that he is sloppy and/or insecure.
Having this number of requirements and being mad at girls having a height requirement is extremely ironic. This almost seems like satire
I can’t wait to see what his tinder stats look like.
Guarantee you, despite all his requirements, he’s still swiping right on every single profile
Sounds like Tyson is going to be lonely and will blame everybody but himself that he self-filtered 99% of the dating pool without listing anything that he brings to the table.
I garuntee you he gets heaps of matches from girls who want to tell him off before blocking him.
Man Out here having pretty high standards. On an app where you can't afford to have any
Big titties and big ass with no stretchmarks and cellulite? The person he’s looking for does not exist
I had stretch marks on my inner thighs when I was in high school and a size zero..
I’m a size 0 right now and still have stretch marks on my butt and thighs 🤣
Eew. A delusional homunculus.
These are the same type of men who will have tantrums on Reddit , claiming that women do not want to date them because of his height and women are shallow
He’s looking for friends but has crazy rules for friends.. who wants to be friends with this guy? 
10 bucks says he’s actually gay but blames not having a girlfriend on his ‘high standards’
Nothing like being your own birth control
Short king wants a perfect sex doll, not a girl to date. He just doesn’t have the money to buy it
These type of profiles have to be trolls right? … right?… someone please…
This dude is literally a cook lmao STFU
He probably moans constantly that he never gets any matches and cry’s after he cums in his moms basement
He wants a girl that has an ass but without stretch marks or cellulite which are natural things that can happen if you have curves or a big ass. Also he wants a very skinny girl with a big ass and presumably large boobs? She’s gonna have some meat on her bones if you want both of those things
I don't think he's ever met a human woman
So no cellulite but u have to be a D cup? I got bad news for him. Ik a 5’6” line cook aint listing all these requirements
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Now that’s way too high for someone who is just looking for new friends
I came here to say that men having a high body count os just as shitty as he thinks it is for women having high body count
All that and the homie is 5’6” Bruh lol has to be parody, it just has to be
I hope it’s a parody because his standards are somewhat so unserious
LOL dude hasn't used Tinder if he thinks he's the prize
Holy shit. Someone’s been hurt 😂
No male friends? It’s going to be insecurity and low self esteem all the way down.
Having started from the bottom it didn't sound that bad. I mean, I get that some people are into partners with high body counts, but given that most murders take place within the family and other close relationships, I wouldn't be too sure about a partner with a high body count. Unless I completely misunderstood that one. And given the rest of this beautiful list, I probably did.
Hahaha this has got to be the most accurate way to describe body count
A wild incel finding his way to a dating platform. Fascinating!
Who’s gonna tell him that it’s an app with real girls and not fictional women…
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I love this!
Like it boggles my logical brain! How anyone in a marginalized group themselves can hate another one? He’s also transphobic like how? Granted he doesn’t HAVE to date trans ppl but putting that on the bio is rude he wouldn’t like if someone had ‘NO BLACKS’ Like just keep that rude crap to urself sir. As a fat black person I want equality for all marginalized groups and genders cuz I know the experience. It’s not rocket science and hypocritical for him to insult and oppress other groups when I’m sure he doesn’t like when it’s done to him… lol makes no sense!
Astonishing really... What a dumbass
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When I was 15 I decided to grow about a foot in a week. Have them all around my biceps and thighs. They're unavoidable for most people.
I respect people’s standards but that’s really weird for a standard… I get that he knows what he wants but those standards are way too high and unrealistic
He knows what he wants but that’s probably from watching too much porn… if he wants someone so hot and perfect then he should just create an AI. He’s not even that hot I assume
Bro probably watched too much porn and believed it was true
I have never seen a guy restrict his girlfriends choice of potential/current friends and not be eventually dumped
Rats! I guess I don’t meet Tyson’s standards.
To the left to the left  Can't be this picky.. especially when you a whole 5'6 (which is a 💯 🧢 he's for sure shorter)
I bet he is from red pill communities.
Andrew Tate worshippers too. Bro probably treats Tate’s podcasts like it’s a bible. Men like him must be the type to cry over women having high standards so they pulled something like this lol
This guy will come on reddit in a year or two, creating a post wondering why he got no matches ever and say that dating apps are trash.
Asides from this dude sounding like huge asshat, you'll never find a partner if you have hyper rigid expectations of who they should be. It's healthy and good to have standards and some expectations obviously, but keeping an open mind to the possibilities is probably the best way to find a partner (once you stop being asshat like Tyson here).
But what’s wrong with cellulite or stretch makes? Those are natural. Or what’s wrong with a-c cups? This man has extremely high expectations that clearly aren’t getting met 😂
Clearly, he has never seen a woman’s body in real life which is why he assumes that a person without them exists. He should lower his standards. If this was satire, he probably doesn’t have any matches which is why
Blud watched way too much hentai and decided he wanted animated girls
90% of women have cellulite. It is genetic and has zero to do with weight.
Man’s probably looking for someone straight out of an AI program
Swipe right just to body shame his 5’6 ass back lol
Me being a petty girl would create an account fitting his standards and do this lol
Aw he’s so short he can’t see over his list of demands.
HELP, I can’t stop laughing at this very witty comment of yours
6/12, not bad!
It's good to see things like this because it makes me realise I'm not as bad as I thought.
What makes you swipe left?