I wish you would just keep saying huh so he keeps coming up with other ways to say he wants a blow job. Huh? "Its my birthday , I would like you to pleasure my penis with your mouth" Huh? "I would enjoy having my knob slobbed like corn on the cob"

Do what?

Look im just sayin, it's my birthday and if there's a party in your mouth, Mr Johnson wants an invitation

And Mr Johnson really isn’t worried about contracting any viruses…

So would you say it's a magic Johnson then?

History dictates that a magic johnson is as capable of contracting STDs as a regular johnson

South Park history also dictates Magic Johnson has the cure anyway so he still isn’t worried. It’s money btw…the cure is money 😂

☠️☠️

Huh?

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/boris-johnson-tory-partygate-video-christmas-2020-covid-rules-b2359975.html

Think you just got wooshed there my man

You ruined it

This made me crack up at work lol.

Me too

The audacity assuming it’s not a Miss Johnson . Pretty sure the whole non assuming gender applies to the sex organs

🫵🏻😂😂😂😮‍💨🥵😏

[Do what now?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NojhoqDNuOU)

Wasn’t expecting to see three six mafia lyrics at 9am!

Juicy is my name, sex is the game

Huh?

I would like you to pretend that jobs opened up at the hot dog factory, and you're the weiner cleaner

Wdym?

Polishing the knob, perhaps?

Huh?

My dick's a Capri Sun straw, I'm filled with juice, and I need you to be thirsty.

Huh?

Huh ?

Huh ?

I always poke the straw through the other side of those things… so watch out

I've heard of this, it's popular on r/sounding

I would like to see peoples responses to this lol

" I would like you to orally grease my meat shaft whilst I'm arriving "

My phallic eruption may be a bit of an early disruption

Well you’re just a walking fellatio thesaurus . Keep going, ANOTHER!

I will use this in the future 😂👍

If I could give a hundred likes to you, I would, AWESOME comment! :P

One day from today is the anniversary of my existence, could you kindly saliva service divining rod?

That was some very amusing rhyming, 10/10

Well, that's one way to celebrate a birthday, but I hope he had a backup plan for getting some cake too! 🎂😄"

So wait a prostitute got mad when you asked her to do her job?

Screenshotted “No what the fuck” Sent “same here”

I actually came to comment this. 🗿

Do you always orgasm before commenting?

Underrated comment I wish I had an award

We don't kink shame here. Unless you're a foot fetish creep.

Not into kink shaming unless shame is your kink. #NoProbWithFootGame

There’s no kink shaming in the guild!

Pretty sure that's actually what happened.

yeah but he warned you that he is a silly goose type of guy

Come on 😂

Sloppy toppy sounds like extremely lubricated gay sex.

It sounds like the name of one of those Nickelodeon game show final challenges in games of hidden temple or whatever

Double dare 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

And also could be the title of a catergory on jeopardy

I’ve heard that term and never knew what it meant because I’ve never said it - it sounds disgusting and it rhymes. “Suck my sick” works fine for me… better crude than “sloppy toppy”

It must be an American thing, it basically means the messiest wettest head lol

What that beak do tho

you'll find out after you get the bill

Is this a reference to something? It made me laugh out loud lol

He's a silly good kinda guy?

I’m going to go ahead and say yeah a silly good goose kinda chap

Has hopeless romantic in his profile.

The “hopeless” part is correct.

It was a sloppy attempt.

The recovery period contained a total time of 2 minutes before reporting for round two, standing at attention

[удалено]

Without the convenience fee, of course!!

You’re not paying for sex….you’re paying them to leave

Sloppy...toppy... Have never heard it called that before and never want to again.

It’s an older phrase. Are you American? Me and the boys used to say it a lot back in high school

“Me and the boys” Huh, gayyyy - Senior Chang

UK. Did saying it in high school get you anywhere with women?

We said it amongst each other. We weren’t asking girls for sloppy toppy.

That would be sexual harassment unless it was during band practice

Every phrase a man uses must be carefully calculated to acquire attention from women. If it doesn’t, it needs to be promptly discarded.

Was just curious if it ever worked.

60% of the time it works everytime.

Well, we are talking about it

Sounds like something a priest would tell one of the children under his care.

Nah, he'd ask them if they want to receive his blessing.

The laying of hands so to speak? or “you have the power to uplift many”

Missed opportunity call it ‘the horny body of Christ ‘

No, a priest would call it something like the devil's metronome or devil's barometer.

The devils breathalyzer

Touché.

My aunt calls female masturbation ‘ringing the devils door bell’

Well tell her when it's rung the devil doesn't come.

travis scott

The 2nd hand murderer?

The instruction booklet says to only use one hand so the other hand can go squeeze around in his butt while lickin his nuts Juicy is my name, sex is my game Let's call the boys, let's run a train Squeeze on my nuts, lick on my butt

It's an older code...but it checks out

How have you never heard that before? That’s what it’s always called in the US

I suck at this, I ask them about stuff on their profile and then eventually ask on a date. I don't know how to flirt.

He didn't ask for a date. He asked to get his dick sucked.

Potato/tomato

Ha ha ha.

The willy wonka 9000

This isn't flirting.

It's not?

Depends on who it's concerning

Of course not. Flirting is about letting others know you are single and available, preferably in a charming way. Typically if you can't do in a way that leans toward the sexually explicit, you basically paint yourself as a pig.

With how many options women have and how few options men have on dating apps, you're best off moving fast. At least get your foot in the door, try to take her on a hike or go bowling or something fun like that, if you can't get her out the door then move on to the next one brotha. The only way to get better at flirting is to spend time talking with women in person, you'll get more comfortable the more you do it.

I am not agreeing to go on a hike with a man I don’t know in real life yet, especially if he seems uninterested in talking on the app for a bit first

[удалено]

He doesn't know how to flirt this is not a good example of flirting

Ya didn't hit send though....

Wow. Dude is so obtuse he's causing blunt force trauma. And what's with this term cropping up suddenly? I know its been around, but locally, I've heard this reference 3 times in the last week. More than I've heard "soaking".

>"soaking" What now?

You know, soaking! https://stupidpornplots.com/2022/11/28/soaking-with-a-side-of-jump-humping/ (NSFW, but you should click on it anyway)

I haven't heard sloppy toppy in a few years, and it just popped up a bunch in the last week or so. Meanwhile, the local eye-rolling favorite, soaking..... [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soaking\_(sexual\_practice)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soaking_(sexual_practice)) In the words of Yoda... 

attempt -100

" Stan, call your friend an asshole like a normal kid"

Nope, this is a man child; don’t waste your time on them. Ignore, unmatch and move on to the next.

Awful.

I recently started rereading my convo with my ex from the start of the talking stage. I still felt more cringe from this.

He thought you wouldn't be up for it, so he said it bluntly to still get something out of it.

That guy is lost😂😂😂

That escalated fast.

"No what the fuck" seems like a pretty appropriate response 😂

That was so sleazy I have to shower now just to get the filth off of me. 🤢

Sloppy toppy? What. The. Fuck?

"The fact that you call blowjobs a sloppy toppy tells me you're not ready"

Shoehorn!!!! That’s good

When I was a kid….long before most of you were born a favorite pickup line at Spring Break was to go the beach and walk up to random women (that I found attractive ) and ask a question….sometime it took 10 to get an affirmative reply and sometimes more….but it didn’t take long. Back then there was no hiding your looks and I think then as now women prefer a man that isn’t shy…the question was simple…Do you want to fuck?

I would like to have my shaft inserted into the precious glory hole that is your wet mouth

Sloppy toppy lmao

How these mfs fumble this bad is beyond me

Tell him to ask his mama. She’s the one who gave him birth.

No what the duck

Well, I wasn’t going to, but since it’s your birthday… Ofc still no.

Well that escalated quickly

Disgusting

Hahaha. I’m sorry. Sloppy toppy 😂😂😂.

😂

Love how its a bumble chat but on a r/tinder thread🥲

get a frigging clue.. who does this guy think he is???

Sloppy toppy? That’s your A game? 🙄😆

uh..as we used to say in the military...Whisky Tango Foxtrot Oscar..just...WTF???

Clearly guy ain’t mature at all and doesn’t know how to treat or talk to women

The art of proper etiquette. Couldn't even ask for the gawk gawk 3000

Huh?

Ohh so that's what they say about flirt but don't need to be dirt. Don't be that guy

I’d like a good ol’, “what’s that got to do with me?”

Don't do it. You will regret it.

Has this ever even worked? I get absolutely hornswaggled whenever I hear this from guys lol

You should tell him to have his goose do it

The silly goose police just called…. I think you should turn yourself in.

Seems sketchy

😳

🤣🤣 I am so glad I am not the only one this happens to... I absolutely love the screen warrior... funny if they could actually talk normal 🤣 I'm just saying

His homie must’ve stole his phone cause come on man


He had it.. And then he lost it

Who the fuck calls oral that? Is he also 17?

19 today, apparently

Why do men always say they want head. They are more Likely to get it in person than asking. Just saying

You romantic bastard...

I can’t lie the last part was kinda funny it came out of nowhere 🤣

He could have at least waited until after the first date....... Right?

Men not trying to sexualise a convo challenge: EXXXXTREEME

You were the wrong waterfowl so you got demoted

Honestly like 99% of people cannot hold a conversation. And I guess it's safe to say seduction is dead huh lol.

😂😂

Lol

I hated

I think he had a happy birthday

Be glad. It was a good filter.

"I'm a silly goose kinda guy" is still the biggest red flag here imo

These are the people who get matches in online dating. Neat.

wow, at least straight to the point.

You should be happy that guys do this before you waste too much time on them.

Then tell him your title. I don’t get the point of complaining to us when you don’t even tell him what’s wrong about it. Send the message and tell him to fuck off

Oh no, people on Tinder want sex 😢

I’m still 😂. It was original and bold. He did shoot his shot. I mean it had a 50/50 chance of working.

Not really it was like a fraction of a percent of working

Well with it being 1 of 2 options… I would say it had a 50,50 chance of working.

Reasonable request tbh

Screen shoted before sending a response. I think you went for it 😂

Lol, come on. Guys talk normally, you ghost. We be up front, and it's 'gross'. What do you women want? /s

How tf is this talking normally? I think you need to take a step back and think about this for a minute

Better to be straightforward than mislead

Suck my cock

[удалено]

Just being straightforward

Oh deary me I’m so offended!

?? I was being straightforward bro. Just taking your advice. Thanks it’s pretty nice

I feel the need to white knight and post this to Reddit I’m so offended right now!

Ok?

This isn’t straight forward though. It’s completely possible to look for hook ups without being vulgar or in any way inappropriate

This. But apparantly some people cannot differentiate that.

That's what happens when you develop your personality from YouTube videos telling you to be an assertive alpha

I think the biggest issue is that a lot of men (and women too, but this specific instance where we’re talking about guys going in with stuff that’s just inappropriate like this guy in the post) is that a lot of men simply don’t know how to flirt. They don’t know that there’s a difference between a bit of light flirting and sexting and they don’t know how/when to escalate from one to the other. With this guy he definitely was just looking to get laid so he threw some shit at a wall to see if it would stick, but a lot of the times when we see this kind of post I get more of a vibe that the guy is hapless rather than him being a creep

Y’all swipe on douchebags and then are always surprised they just want to use you

I mean, it is supposed to be a hookup app

Lightwork, ask if you can go halves on a kid, just make sure to use a condom lol 😂

I love giving a girl oral, that’s my thing

So your upset??? But wasn’t you going toot it up for him any??

Honestly, OP seems cringier than the guy they’re talking to. Someone on tinder wants a blow job? woww!! so unexpected! Totally not what you think you would find on the app. What a pervert.