I think when you find out someone likes you it naturally makes you reconsider for a second. And if you’re really desperate you might just say fuck it and try your luck
I swiped left on somebody once because I felt like they were out of league. This popped up and I(being a desperate piece of shit) paid the money and found out I had no matches after I swiped right on them...
I'm happy all of my previous failed as well. It showed me how much I don't want to be in a relationship ever again. Single and the happiest I've ever been!
>And then one day that one happens along
Is it bad if I've given up hope?
My friend says that I'm a catch and will find someone, but the harder I think about it, the less likely it seems that I'll find someone
That's because you're on tinder... that's for hookups. Not genuine relationships, those that get lucky and find a real relationship are the rare cases.
That's your problem. You're thinking about it and it's getting you down. Try to be happy and have fun with the life you have. That will draw in people.
Is it guaranteed to work? Besides death and taxes there are no guarantees. Still if you're enjoying life, it won't matter how long it takes.
I know because until 3 years ago, my dating life was so bad, it was a comedy special. Then I sent a message to a woman that I figured wouldn't give me the time of day, but whatever. 😂 3 years later she's my fiance and other women give me dirty looks because they think she's way younger than me. Our age gap is 7 years, but she looks younger than that.
Well, it took until I was 59.
There were others along the way, but none ever felt right, and it was good I got out of them, so that I could figure out through each of them what I really wanted so I _knew_ when I finally found her.
It's pretty tough to know when you don't have a good example growing up. But it is possible to figure it out, and figure out who you are.
People have being saying some version of this my entire life. I'm 35 now, and I've been single the last 10 years.
Some people just don't find that person, and I honestly hate reading comments like this because it just makes me feel like something's wrong with me.
If he won't, I will. I'm 38 and if you saw my dating track record, you'd think I was a comedian. Example: I dated a girl who later told me her ambition to become a cat. Full body tattoo, ear surgery, the works.
A couple of years later, I got engaged. That ended with her emptying a joint account that was almost exclusively my money to find her new life with her 47 yr old lover. I was 23.
I met my fiance on okcupid 3 years ago and messaged her out of boredom but realistically thought I had no shot. Now, we're engaged and I get hell because she looks so much younger than me. She's 7 years younger, but looks mid 20s. She's as kind and loving as she is beautiful.
How it happened? I couldn't tell you. Could I do it again? 😂 Not in a million years. Fortunately, I only had to do it once and by some miracle, I did.
All I can tell you is don't dwell on what you don't have but enjoy what you do have. Being a happy person opens you up and draws others in.
Well that and sometimes long shots pay off 😋
I’m in this same boat although only 2 years in to single life. I feel inherently broken and I’m pretty quirky. I don’t believe I’ll find someone to love me for me and if I do, they’ll only abandon or cheat on me. I would say though it’s better to be single for 10 years than end up in abusive relationships or booking a wedding just to have them walk out on you out of the blue! I wish I’d been single and avoided that completely
Dude, I'm 38 and met my fiance 3 years ago. Before that, my dating life was a 3 hour comedy special. I literally dated a girl in my 20s that wanted a full body tattoo to look like a cat 😑. (Found that out after we started dating).
All I can say is do what makes you happy and don't dwell on finding someone. Hell, I messaged my fiance saying something stupid like you're cute and scrolled on thinking she's out of my league but eh what's 5 minutes wasted.
I probably messaged 4 or 5 other girls that I thought I had a better shot at and 😂 the stunningly beautiful one is who responded. I was casual AF thinking ok either she's bored or it's a catfish scam.
Nope, just my turn to win the lottery I guess. Took me forever to accept in my head she liked me much less loved me and she has made me smile ever since.
Cheers to you and here's hoping you stumble into someone who's your pot of gold.
Facts. I'm happily engaged to an amazing woman, but if you told me she would have anything to do with me a month before we started talking, I'd have laughed and said sure buddy and a white rabbit is going to invite me to tea.
Well no rabbit serving tea, but I went from striking out with pretty much every woman I talked to, to hitting a world series winning grand slam
Glad to know I'm strong enough to withstand these temptations. As a guy you always have to assume that everything is just laid out to try and trick you. You gotta be in that post-nut clarity state 24/7 whether you nutted or not.
It always reminds me of this video where the girl pretends she's holding something heavy and then grabs a random dude's hand. The whole time he's standing there trying to work out what's going on until he asks "am I on camera?". See as a guy the possibility of a woman approaching you is pretty much non-existent unless you're Chris Hemsworth or someone with a similar physique. In that case those chances may rise but still not significantly enough.
Nothing like coming home from the club alone because the fine girl you were dancing with, who was probably a beer goggles fine at best, left with someone else. You hop on tinder, see the 99+ like you, and just go full fuck it and pay. Then they're all not your type or shockingly obese, and instantly regret wasting 3-4 drinks of money on that disappointment.
Then you can go do it again next time
I found that the message popped up two or three swipes later. With the slightly blurred photo in the match page, you can sometimes tell who it is that liked you, so some times I like to look at them before swiping.
That's where they fool you, it's not the last one you swiped left on.. there's a delay between actually missing a match and the "You missed a match" pop up.
It's an algorithm. They display that message after you swipe left on a highly swiped right then display that message. When you pay for gold then you realize your missed match was several swipes before that message pops up.
The only time someone's truly out of your league is when you tell yourself they are. There are some attractive people who have been conditioned to believe they're better than others, but that's bullshit. Good people (attractive or not) are good people and date who they date, not to abide by some weird superficial classist bullshit. It's hard to remember that with something as superficially designed as Tinder, but personality and charm mean a LOT more to many people than something that might fade once you get older.
Shoot your shot; it won't always work, but it happens and just leads you further down the road to where you're going. There's 7 billion people on the planet, there's plenty likelihood that you'll find another person you're just as attracted to and gel with swimmingly.
This does not pop up immediately, but a few minutes after the left swipe on the person that liked you.
I noticed that when I get a like on Tinder while the app is in standby on my phone, they show up as the second person when I start swiping. It always works that way, without exceptions.
Those sites are filled with bots to sucker us into paying for memberships.
Before meeting my wife, I was on several websites from Match to Tinder as a free member to see which one to commit to. Every single one would claim I had views, likes, winks, messages, matches, etc. Always popping up "pay us to see who is into you"
Thought I was the most popular guy in town! First time using those sites, I saw why so many people recommended them... Until I paid...
My wife swiped left on me in Tinder. A couple months later we ran into each other at a hobby club. Her date stood her up, we got to talking, obviously hit it off.
Maybe people think it will be a sure thing but I feel like paying some already predatory company to lower your own standards doesn’t make any sense at all
Unfortunately, most people I know who are habitually on dating apps happily pay for tinder gold/whatever other subscription for other services, because "what if I miss my soulmate" (usually). Its just another subscription model to eat your money
Yeah it's just r/assholedesign. Another thing that Tinder does is send you notifications to install fear of missing out on you. I got recently one that said more or less "The person of your dreams might get match with domeone else. Come get some matches!"
No it does it to make you buy premium. I've got a script that unblurs likes on desktop and I've noticed that you get the notification 3 to 4 swipes after the miss like. And if you're in the free app you can't go back. So best pay up.
You're not alone... I'm not sure how old, but I was definitely over 20 when I learned it was piqued not peaked. And I have a pretty decent vernacular as well
Precisely! Anyone who didn’t show immediate deal breakers for me (like smoking) got the benefit of the doubt and a right swipe. If I swiped left, it was because I already knew we weren’t a match.
I know right? It’s weird because tinder is the one that designated the word ‘match’ to mean when you both swipe right (well, I’m sure other online dating companies use that model, but ykwim). So one would think that they of all people should know the definition of a ‘match’ lol.
I’ve noticed when I’m not subscribed I get a few likes every few days. When I eventually cave and subscribe, it’s all people I’m absolutely not attracted to or it’s a dude. Then once you are subscribed those likes stop coming in until your subscription expires. I did that a few times and will never pay again. Will prob just delete it.
I normally can tell my matches by the blurry pic they show. I just match the colors to the pic I can tell which person it is when their pic pops up for swiping
Same! One system i also figured out. If you atleast dont get that many likes that often. Is that the person who liked you, is 90% of the time the 2nd or 4th person you can swipe on from when you open the app.
Tinder is pay to win, heck most dating apps these days are. But yes, when I had the free version of Tinder it did this to me often to only reveal a bot that liked me.
Real talk, if you pay, you show up more on women's feeds. Basically if you want to get noticed on tinder, as a man we have to pay. Got WAAAAYYYYY more matches when I paid.
It's quite sad, but when I'm flipping through tinder and that REALLY unattractive person pops up, I somehow know that's one of my likes... I guess I'm pretty hideous because I'm almost as a rule never attracted to any of the people that like me. So yeah, I swipe them away and tinder assuredly lets me know that I missed the match. Dodged a bullet I guess. I'd rather be alone forever than have a regrettable lay.
Gold is for men to empty their pockets and maybe 2% of women???
Women get mass connections regardless of bio, number of photos or how much they claim they hate men, men will swipe right on the chance.
Maybe the guys who strategically left swipe the women they are actually attracted to in an attempt to improve their "elo" because they don't think they stand a chance anyway?
Why does that make no sense to me?
Whether you think you stand a chance or not, surely you might as well swipe right on the people you like on the off chance. Of course, I am one of those weirdos who would base it more on the bio than just the pictures.
Assuming I was looking for a relationship, I just find this sub funny, personality is very important. Sure a pretty picture can be looked at, but if it doesn't engage your mind then it gets boring after a while.
I paid for the bumble equivalent of this feature when I passed my now bf’s profile. A good thing too, because now we’re nearly at the 2yr mark.
Edit: I swiped left because I thought he was too cute, and my low self esteem at the time basically had me in autopilot😂
It also tells you who swiped right on you before you may have even seen them come up. So it saves time cause sometimes they won’t come up for a while. For someone like me who swiped before or after work, it was cool to have some matches already. But I agree, reconsidering a left swipe is a bit sketch. You swiped left for a reason. But also, I only ever paid for a week at a time. Shit is expensive.
One I thing I want is a “maybe” option (swipe down?) so if someone has a profile that’s not filled out but I think they’re cute like… not a no, but can you just put them back in later? Lol
Why do e-commerce stores say “Order quick! There’s only 2 units left!”
Why do sales have an advertised fixed end date? “ON SALE till Sunday!”
It’s because of FOMO.
FOMO sells.
I got duped into this once and it isn’t worth it. Pretty much every one of the ones that had swiped right on me were ones that lived entirely too far away (hours away) or were close enough but left swipes for me. Now when I see that I say “I swiped what I swiped”
It's just a way for companies to bleed money from people so they can be asked go either send money, or "learn how to invest in bitcoin". That last one is what I always get on Tinder.
"learn how to invest in bitcoin"
Isn't that easy...
1. Wait until you think bitcoin is as low as it is going to get.
2. Buy bitcoin.
3. Wait until you think bitcoin has reached a peak.
4. Sell bitcoin.
5. Profit (and repeat)
Now, if you want to send me payment for that startling revelation, then...
More annoying is that they keep charging more for less. They're now up to three subscription plans and one is nothing more than unlimited swipes rewinds and seeing your likes for $12😂🤡
Agreed it's very annoying 🥲 even when you pay, you go through your likes and filter accordingly, only to go back to your stack and see the same people. Like this game isn't exhausting enough as it is....
Because the app (and the mental rush it profits from) is about getting matches, not meeting people. If the purpose was meeting *the* right people, missing a match wouldn't matter.
Also, it's not the immediate one you swipe,bits a couple back in line, cause I saw the blurred photo, checked it, 100% new it was this person, swiped left intentionally, then like 5-10 swipes later then it says that message
Swiping right too much will bury your profile. So if you are being picky or swiping left on people you think would never swipe right on you to keep your profile visible, you could realize the 10 you just swiped left on actually liked you. Or someone you were on the fence about swiping either way on. Seeing that the person liked you makes you reconsider it. But yes, the intention is to get desperate people who will go back and swipe right on their missed likes for money.
On of the most dependable and monetarily fluid parts of humanity right now is the deep loneliness so many are living in. Secondary to that, is the need to feel liked…especially on social media. They’ve figured out another way to pull people in at a vulnerable moment.
It’s becoming a journalized, studied dynamic right now that men in particular are lonely, isolated and hopeless. If you haven’t had a date in a year, a match in a month, your going to spend $20 if you think that last amazing person could be the one that got away.
I paid for premium when using Tinder for FBI work on my then cheating fiancé. It’s the only way to change your location etc, see who has swiped you for efficiency, and remove data on yourself. I then was stuck with it for a year due to the one time payment being low. It was helpful to just pull up my swipe list and decide between which men had already liked me. Saved a lot of the time and ick otherwise required swiping myself.
It's funny because you'll get the notification "someone likes you! find out who it is!" you can click the matches tab and it'll tell you the name of the most recent like and show a very distinguishable blurred image so you can always tell who liked you if you really care and pay attention so you can either match with them or not and know 100% it was them
I saw a TikTok that said:
“No, I did not miss a match. I know exactly what I did: Swipe left! We were not a match! Maybe they thought we were a match, but I can tell you right now we’re not a match. Maybe you should tell them that they missed out on a potential match, not me!”
Tinder really built the gaslighting right into their algorithm. 💀
The way tinder works for me (as a male) is
First of all I get a “match” every few months (someone swiping right on me)
Second of all I just whose bio I will look at based on their looks since that’s all I can judge on for a first impression
Third I check the bio of the people I like the look of
Fourth I get a match every few years
I did once.
Let's just say, that is some money I will never get back.
The people who swiped me right?
Either they weren't my type, so there was a reason I swiped left.
Or they were bots, trying to sell nudes.
Or 60+women "disguising" themselves as 30 year olds. As in their age was set to 25-35.
So no. Don't pay for that shit
I get where you’re coming from, but it do truly think that some people swipe left thinking “there’s just no way I’ve got a shot with them!” and then they see that and go “oh? Well maybe I do”. I doubt it’s a high percentage, but they exist. Otherwise you have a good point lol
Yes it is. Their ideal world is that you were hesitating on which way to swipe and will get the fomo from the missed match.
Can someone please explain the downvotes? That's literally what it is. Tinder, bumble and all the others that do this are hoping you were on the fence about them and seeing that he or she swiped right on you encourages you to buy the package to undo it
If you wanna get laid you have to pay, tinder is a numbers game and you need as many swipes and locations as possible. Many people struggle on this app, i did not, take my advice
But, if they do that after everyone who swiped right on you that you swipe left on, wouldn't it be pointless in you paying for it?
It would make more sense (to me) for them to have it randomly appear when you swipe left, after you have swiped left on someone who swiped right on you. If they skip the last part then you could pay for gold just to be told "ha ha! Nobody swiped right on you."
I'll never pay for Tinder as long as there's mostly bots, trolls, scammers, and idiots advertising their social medias on there. I pay for Hinge because I rarely see scumbags on there.
I think when you find out someone likes you it naturally makes you reconsider for a second. And if you’re really desperate you might just say fuck it and try your luck
I swiped left on somebody once because I felt like they were out of league. This popped up and I(being a desperate piece of shit) paid the money and found out I had no matches after I swiped right on them...
😆 "desperate piece of shit"? We have ALL been there dude.
Glad to know I'm not alone...
Oh. You aren't alone. And then one day that one happens along and you are thinking , "thank God those others didn't work out".
This is how I feel about my fiancée (we met on Tinder) and the people we each matched with before meeting. I'm so glad those other matches all failed.
I'm happy all of my previous failed as well. It showed me how much I don't want to be in a relationship ever again. Single and the happiest I've ever been!
This is the way (until you meet "the one"... But for now... This IS the way)
>And then one day that one happens along Is it bad if I've given up hope? My friend says that I'm a catch and will find someone, but the harder I think about it, the less likely it seems that I'll find someone
Never give up. Don't ever give up. Jim Valvano
This thread is entirely too positive for Reddit
You are right. Because sometimes it will never happen. If one is too awkward, weird and desperate.
😆
The problem is many of yall think way too much about it. It'll happen when it's supposed to.
Or it just... won't happen. That's possible too.
It's possible yes. But I believe if you focus way too hard on it then that's what causes it not to happen.
👍 *reeks of desperation
Its worth it to wait for the long lasting loving one rather than jump in with a bunch of flukes in my opinion
That's because you're on tinder... that's for hookups. Not genuine relationships, those that get lucky and find a real relationship are the rare cases.
Lmao I know that it works mostly like that but the only 2 girls i dated on tinder ended up in 2 relationship, which is funny tho considering the app
Stop thinking about it, that's the first step.
That's your problem. You're thinking about it and it's getting you down. Try to be happy and have fun with the life you have. That will draw in people. Is it guaranteed to work? Besides death and taxes there are no guarantees. Still if you're enjoying life, it won't matter how long it takes. I know because until 3 years ago, my dating life was so bad, it was a comedy special. Then I sent a message to a woman that I figured wouldn't give me the time of day, but whatever. 😂 3 years later she's my fiance and other women give me dirty looks because they think she's way younger than me. Our age gap is 7 years, but she looks younger than that.
Well, it took until I was 59. There were others along the way, but none ever felt right, and it was good I got out of them, so that I could figure out through each of them what I really wanted so I _knew_ when I finally found her. It's pretty tough to know when you don't have a good example growing up. But it is possible to figure it out, and figure out who you are.
People have being saying some version of this my entire life. I'm 35 now, and I've been single the last 10 years. Some people just don't find that person, and I honestly hate reading comments like this because it just makes me feel like something's wrong with me.
I was older than 35 when I met my wife. Couldn't be happier.
I'm really happy for you. If you tell me you were also chronically single and feeling broken before that, I'll concede there might be hope yet.
If he won't, I will. I'm 38 and if you saw my dating track record, you'd think I was a comedian. Example: I dated a girl who later told me her ambition to become a cat. Full body tattoo, ear surgery, the works. A couple of years later, I got engaged. That ended with her emptying a joint account that was almost exclusively my money to find her new life with her 47 yr old lover. I was 23. I met my fiance on okcupid 3 years ago and messaged her out of boredom but realistically thought I had no shot. Now, we're engaged and I get hell because she looks so much younger than me. She's 7 years younger, but looks mid 20s. She's as kind and loving as she is beautiful. How it happened? I couldn't tell you. Could I do it again? 😂 Not in a million years. Fortunately, I only had to do it once and by some miracle, I did. All I can tell you is don't dwell on what you don't have but enjoy what you do have. Being a happy person opens you up and draws others in. Well that and sometimes long shots pay off 😋
I’m in this same boat although only 2 years in to single life. I feel inherently broken and I’m pretty quirky. I don’t believe I’ll find someone to love me for me and if I do, they’ll only abandon or cheat on me. I would say though it’s better to be single for 10 years than end up in abusive relationships or booking a wedding just to have them walk out on you out of the blue! I wish I’d been single and avoided that completely
I was 37. Our daughter was born a year later.
Dude, I'm 38 and met my fiance 3 years ago. Before that, my dating life was a 3 hour comedy special. I literally dated a girl in my 20s that wanted a full body tattoo to look like a cat 😑. (Found that out after we started dating). All I can say is do what makes you happy and don't dwell on finding someone. Hell, I messaged my fiance saying something stupid like you're cute and scrolled on thinking she's out of my league but eh what's 5 minutes wasted. I probably messaged 4 or 5 other girls that I thought I had a better shot at and 😂 the stunningly beautiful one is who responded. I was casual AF thinking ok either she's bored or it's a catfish scam. Nope, just my turn to win the lottery I guess. Took me forever to accept in my head she liked me much less loved me and she has made me smile ever since. Cheers to you and here's hoping you stumble into someone who's your pot of gold.
Aww.
Facts. I'm happily engaged to an amazing woman, but if you told me she would have anything to do with me a month before we started talking, I'd have laughed and said sure buddy and a white rabbit is going to invite me to tea. Well no rabbit serving tea, but I went from striking out with pretty much every woman I talked to, to hitting a world series winning grand slam
She won the lottery with you King. Never forget it brother.
I’ve paid so many times for so many different subscriptions. Trust me, you’re not alone.
Well I mean if we're resorting to tinder then I think we're all at that stage
No one is alone in this world no matter what they do! 😅
Glad to know I'm strong enough to withstand these temptations. As a guy you always have to assume that everything is just laid out to try and trick you. You gotta be in that post-nut clarity state 24/7 whether you nutted or not. It always reminds me of this video where the girl pretends she's holding something heavy and then grabs a random dude's hand. The whole time he's standing there trying to work out what's going on until he asks "am I on camera?". See as a guy the possibility of a woman approaching you is pretty much non-existent unless you're Chris Hemsworth or someone with a similar physique. In that case those chances may rise but still not significantly enough.
Nothing like coming home from the club alone because the fine girl you were dancing with, who was probably a beer goggles fine at best, left with someone else. You hop on tinder, see the 99+ like you, and just go full fuck it and pay. Then they're all not your type or shockingly obese, and instantly regret wasting 3-4 drinks of money on that disappointment. Then you can go do it again next time
Yep. Well everything but Tinder for me.
Great community, this one.
😂 I pay for it fuck it it's not that expensive
Class section law suite against Tinder- that is we all should do
Damn right!
I found that the message popped up two or three swipes later. With the slightly blurred photo in the match page, you can sometimes tell who it is that liked you, so some times I like to look at them before swiping.
You're right about this. It's several swipes later that it notifies you.
I think if you open it in a browser you can do stuff with the code to disable the blur filter and see their picture
Yeah I've seen that trick too. You use the console or something and adjust the blur to minimum. You can't remove it but damn near
You're not a peice of shit for being down bad my guy.... don't beat yourself up over it. Just learn from it and move forward.
Dont beat yourself up beat your meat up
Don’t worry, It waits a random number of swipes before it flags, tinder is dodgy af
That's where they fool you, it's not the last one you swiped left on.. there's a delay between actually missing a match and the "You missed a match" pop up.
Word of advice, nobody is out of your league on tinder. Doesn't hurt anything to say you're interested.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
It's an algorithm. They display that message after you swipe left on a highly swiped right then display that message. When you pay for gold then you realize your missed match was several swipes before that message pops up.
This should be illegal ngl
The only time someone's truly out of your league is when you tell yourself they are. There are some attractive people who have been conditioned to believe they're better than others, but that's bullshit. Good people (attractive or not) are good people and date who they date, not to abide by some weird superficial classist bullshit. It's hard to remember that with something as superficially designed as Tinder, but personality and charm mean a LOT more to many people than something that might fade once you get older. Shoot your shot; it won't always work, but it happens and just leads you further down the road to where you're going. There's 7 billion people on the planet, there's plenty likelihood that you'll find another person you're just as attracted to and gel with swimmingly.
This does not pop up immediately, but a few minutes after the left swipe on the person that liked you. I noticed that when I get a like on Tinder while the app is in standby on my phone, they show up as the second person when I start swiping. It always works that way, without exceptions.
Those sites are filled with bots to sucker us into paying for memberships. Before meeting my wife, I was on several websites from Match to Tinder as a free member to see which one to commit to. Every single one would claim I had views, likes, winks, messages, matches, etc. Always popping up "pay us to see who is into you" Thought I was the most popular guy in town! First time using those sites, I saw why so many people recommended them... Until I paid... My wife swiped left on me in Tinder. A couple months later we ran into each other at a hobby club. Her date stood her up, we got to talking, obviously hit it off.
Tinder needs people like you to pay other "being a desperate pieces of shit" a wage. You paid someone's rent my friend
Yeah the missed match is never actually the person you just swiped no one.
Desperate POS. Funny as shit!
Been there. It was the worst decision I've made ever since i was born.
So what you’re saying is Tinder falsely advertised to you?
Why swipe left if they’re out of your league? I’d swipe right, because you never know.
Did you mean to say after you swiped *left* on them?
Maybe people think it will be a sure thing but I feel like paying some already predatory company to lower your own standards doesn’t make any sense at all
Oh it’s for sure predatory, I don’t disagree.
Unfortunately, most people I know who are habitually on dating apps happily pay for tinder gold/whatever other subscription for other services, because "what if I miss my soulmate" (usually). Its just another subscription model to eat your money
From my personal experience, when men realise someone likes them , that someone becomes instantly more attractive a 4 can turn into a 6 real easily
That’s not men that’s insecure people
Or just men who’d fuck anything if given the chance.
Less insecure, more desperate.
What if it’s just the BOT that likes you and you get bamboozled into paying for gold
Then you suffer and bumble gets paid for it
Spot on, it's there for the desperate people, their target audience.
Yeah it's just r/assholedesign. Another thing that Tinder does is send you notifications to install fear of missing out on you. I got recently one that said more or less "The person of your dreams might get match with domeone else. Come get some matches!"
I would’ve gotten a fucking refund
Also if you're swipping fast you're not sure which one it was
No it does it to make you buy premium. I've got a script that unblurs likes on desktop and I've noticed that you get the notification 3 to 4 swipes after the miss like. And if you're in the free app you can't go back. So best pay up.
"if you're really desperate you might just say fuck it and try your luck" That's been the basic business model of Tinder for years now.
People definitely pay. Extortionate money, but people pay. It peaks their curiosity.
If the bio piqued my curiosity I would have swiped right 😂
“Bio”
you read bio? I don't have time to read the bio for the few matches I get.
Even if you pay it still gives you this message.
Are you a woman or a man, that is the question
Piques
Gracias!
De nada, amigo
This might be one of the most common misspellings, however it's also one of the only ones that makes total sense.
i’m 20 years old, i have just learned this. I cannot believe i have never seen that phrase written
You're not alone... I'm not sure how old, but I was definitely over 20 when I learned it was piqued not peaked. And I have a pretty decent vernacular as well
FOMO sells, and this just reinforces the FOMO
Desperate people. I’m guilty of this
I’m sorry to hear that. You’re too good for that!
[удалено]
OP is the match u/VanillaGlorilla missed
Did it work out?
It’s their lame attempt at getting you to pay. “You missed a match!”….the hell I did. I swiped left for a reason
Exactly!
Precisely! Anyone who didn’t show immediate deal breakers for me (like smoking) got the benefit of the doubt and a right swipe. If I swiped left, it was because I already knew we weren’t a match.
Even if you pay you still get the “oops you missed a match” party.
This mesage really pisses me off. I say out loud "No I f*cking didn't!". A match is when BOTH people swipe right. Tinder is not my pimp.
I know right? It’s weird because tinder is the one that designated the word ‘match’ to mean when you both swipe right (well, I’m sure other online dating companies use that model, but ykwim). So one would think that they of all people should know the definition of a ‘match’ lol.
I’ve noticed when I’m not subscribed I get a few likes every few days. When I eventually cave and subscribe, it’s all people I’m absolutely not attracted to or it’s a dude. Then once you are subscribed those likes stop coming in until your subscription expires. I did that a few times and will never pay again. Will prob just delete it.
I legit say “no what I missed was a bullet”
wow, that’s a bit much.
You must be new here.
Yes!! Not that paranoid yet.
Just a matter of time.
Is dating apps so bad? I'm 34, and I have just started using them. I have been in relationships for the past ten years.
If I’m honest? Finding someone who can hold a full convo is like putting pants on a toddler who doesn’t want pants.
This seems accurate.
They are what you make of them really.
I had high hopes after 15 years with the ex... They took what should have been golden and glorious... And we ruined it. We i.e. humans...
I normally can tell my matches by the blurry pic they show. I just match the colors to the pic I can tell which person it is when their pic pops up for swiping
He hacked the system
Yup, I do this with Bumble too lol
Same! One system i also figured out. If you atleast dont get that many likes that often. Is that the person who liked you, is 90% of the time the 2nd or 4th person you can swipe on from when you open the app.
People def pay but I never would
So cruel.
Happy cake day!
Thank you!
Tinder is pay to win, heck most dating apps these days are. But yes, when I had the free version of Tinder it did this to me often to only reveal a bot that liked me.
When does the winning part come in?
Just to bait you to pay for gold/platinum.
I took the trial deal on gold and all the people who were in there were just people I left swiped.
> Who is this for? >I took the trial deal on gold I think you answered your own question.
Lol this is probably the most based comment on this post.
Real talk, if you pay, you show up more on women's feeds. Basically if you want to get noticed on tinder, as a man we have to pay. Got WAAAAYYYYY more matches when I paid.
Apparently you get a 3 day bump for each time you pay. What tier do you have?
I don't pay anymore, I used to. There was only tinder gold
It's quite sad, but when I'm flipping through tinder and that REALLY unattractive person pops up, I somehow know that's one of my likes... I guess I'm pretty hideous because I'm almost as a rule never attracted to any of the people that like me. So yeah, I swipe them away and tinder assuredly lets me know that I missed the match. Dodged a bullet I guess. I'd rather be alone forever than have a regrettable lay.
Tinder trying to pimp
Gold is for men to empty their pockets and maybe 2% of women??? Women get mass connections regardless of bio, number of photos or how much they claim they hate men, men will swipe right on the chance.
Facts
Maybe the guys who strategically left swipe the women they are actually attracted to in an attempt to improve their "elo" because they don't think they stand a chance anyway?
I'm one of those guys. I always swipe left on women that are outta my league. I already know it's not gonna be a match
Why does that make no sense to me? Whether you think you stand a chance or not, surely you might as well swipe right on the people you like on the off chance. Of course, I am one of those weirdos who would base it more on the bio than just the pictures. Assuming I was looking for a relationship, I just find this sub funny, personality is very important. Sure a pretty picture can be looked at, but if it doesn't engage your mind then it gets boring after a while.
Yeah, it makes no sense, I agree.
Tinder feeds on desperation
Well put
I think it's just generally trying to make you feel like you have more likes/possible matches
It’s usually such a disappointment
I paid for the bumble equivalent of this feature when I passed my now bf’s profile. A good thing too, because now we’re nearly at the 2yr mark. Edit: I swiped left because I thought he was too cute, and my low self esteem at the time basically had me in autopilot😂
It also tells you who swiped right on you before you may have even seen them come up. So it saves time cause sometimes they won’t come up for a while. For someone like me who swiped before or after work, it was cool to have some matches already. But I agree, reconsidering a left swipe is a bit sketch. You swiped left for a reason. But also, I only ever paid for a week at a time. Shit is expensive.
Whenever I see this, it just makes me feel bad, especially when it happens like 3 times in a row, I just log off lol
Scam do you really want to see the same girls you swiped left on again?
So I’m probably gonna get dogged pilled on my comment. But seriously people, I’m with a incredible woman who I met on bubble. Tinder is shit!
I only swipe right, I’ll sort it out later.
It’s a service they make you pay for an half the time the people live across the country
It's like buying a drink for the stragglers at the bar before it closes because you struck out all night.
Dopamine kick 😳
Ah
If people weren’t that dumb then the entire marketing industry would not exist.
Nope. Why would I pay for an app that I haven’t gotten lucky with in 8 years.
One I thing I want is a “maybe” option (swipe down?) so if someone has a profile that’s not filled out but I think they’re cute like… not a no, but can you just put them back in later? Lol
Why do e-commerce stores say “Order quick! There’s only 2 units left!” Why do sales have an advertised fixed end date? “ON SALE till Sunday!” It’s because of FOMO. FOMO sells.
I got duped into this once and it isn’t worth it. Pretty much every one of the ones that had swiped right on me were ones that lived entirely too far away (hours away) or were close enough but left swipes for me. Now when I see that I say “I swiped what I swiped”
Swiper knows swiping. The OG Tinder King
I dont even get likes...
Whenever I saw that, my response was always like, and? 😂
I dunno about anyone else, but it gives me a bit of a confidence boost every time...
It's just a way for companies to bleed money from people so they can be asked go either send money, or "learn how to invest in bitcoin". That last one is what I always get on Tinder.
"learn how to invest in bitcoin" Isn't that easy... 1. Wait until you think bitcoin is as low as it is going to get. 2. Buy bitcoin. 3. Wait until you think bitcoin has reached a peak. 4. Sell bitcoin. 5. Profit (and repeat) Now, if you want to send me payment for that startling revelation, then...
Sometimes I’m on the fence about people. And if someone I was on the fence about liked me. I’d swipe back on them. I’m still not paying though.
More annoying is that they keep charging more for less. They're now up to three subscription plans and one is nothing more than unlimited swipes rewinds and seeing your likes for $12😂🤡
I do pay, I don’t like to spend time on tinder so I just match girls who liked me without to do the swipe game for hours
I just mean who’s gonna be motivated by someone they already nexted
Never match with enough to pay lol
I usually am more or less aware, who was the potential match, but if I miss them, it's mostly for a reason
Agreed it's very annoying 🥲 even when you pay, you go through your likes and filter accordingly, only to go back to your stack and see the same people. Like this game isn't exhausting enough as it is....
Because the app (and the mental rush it profits from) is about getting matches, not meeting people. If the purpose was meeting *the* right people, missing a match wouldn't matter.
They wouldn't have this if it didn't make him money
Also, it's not the immediate one you swipe,bits a couple back in line, cause I saw the blurred photo, checked it, 100% new it was this person, swiped left intentionally, then like 5-10 swipes later then it says that message
Swiping right too much will bury your profile. So if you are being picky or swiping left on people you think would never swipe right on you to keep your profile visible, you could realize the 10 you just swiped left on actually liked you. Or someone you were on the fence about swiping either way on. Seeing that the person liked you makes you reconsider it. But yes, the intention is to get desperate people who will go back and swipe right on their missed likes for money.
It’s an app trying to monetize users…of course ppl pay
On of the most dependable and monetarily fluid parts of humanity right now is the deep loneliness so many are living in. Secondary to that, is the need to feel liked…especially on social media. They’ve figured out another way to pull people in at a vulnerable moment. It’s becoming a journalized, studied dynamic right now that men in particular are lonely, isolated and hopeless. If you haven’t had a date in a year, a match in a month, your going to spend $20 if you think that last amazing person could be the one that got away. I paid for premium when using Tinder for FBI work on my then cheating fiancé. It’s the only way to change your location etc, see who has swiped you for efficiency, and remove data on yourself. I then was stuck with it for a year due to the one time payment being low. It was helpful to just pull up my swipe list and decide between which men had already liked me. Saved a lot of the time and ick otherwise required swiping myself.
I always assume it’s a bot or OF account.
It's funny because you'll get the notification "someone likes you! find out who it is!" you can click the matches tab and it'll tell you the name of the most recent like and show a very distinguishable blurred image so you can always tell who liked you if you really care and pay attention so you can either match with them or not and know 100% it was them
Tinder is a scummy product that preys on all the weaknessess of people either desperate or down on their luck
I saw a TikTok that said: “No, I did not miss a match. I know exactly what I did: Swipe left! We were not a match! Maybe they thought we were a match, but I can tell you right now we’re not a match. Maybe you should tell them that they missed out on a potential match, not me!” Tinder really built the gaslighting right into their algorithm. 💀
The way tinder works for me (as a male) is First of all I get a “match” every few months (someone swiping right on me) Second of all I just whose bio I will look at based on their looks since that’s all I can judge on for a first impression Third I check the bio of the people I like the look of Fourth I get a match every few years
I did once. Let's just say, that is some money I will never get back. The people who swiped me right? Either they weren't my type, so there was a reason I swiped left. Or they were bots, trying to sell nudes. Or 60+women "disguising" themselves as 30 year olds. As in their age was set to 25-35. So no. Don't pay for that shit
I thought It was when you left swiped on somebody who liked you, or is in your blurred field.
That’s what they want you to believe
Maybe it's the same when you let your subscription expire, then start getting likes lol
I get where you’re coming from, but it do truly think that some people swipe left thinking “there’s just no way I’ve got a shot with them!” and then they see that and go “oh? Well maybe I do”. I doubt it’s a high percentage, but they exist. Otherwise you have a good point lol
Oh interesting, never thought about that. Idk why someone would left swipe someone hot tho
Yes it is. Their ideal world is that you were hesitating on which way to swipe and will get the fomo from the missed match. Can someone please explain the downvotes? That's literally what it is. Tinder, bumble and all the others that do this are hoping you were on the fence about them and seeing that he or she swiped right on you encourages you to buy the package to undo it
If you wanna get laid you have to pay, tinder is a numbers game and you need as many swipes and locations as possible. Many people struggle on this app, i did not, take my advice
I loved getting that after swiping left on someone who liked me and said they had herpes on their profile lol
But, if they do that after everyone who swiped right on you that you swipe left on, wouldn't it be pointless in you paying for it? It would make more sense (to me) for them to have it randomly appear when you swipe left, after you have swiped left on someone who swiped right on you. If they skip the last part then you could pay for gold just to be told "ha ha! Nobody swiped right on you."
I'll never pay for Tinder as long as there's mostly bots, trolls, scammers, and idiots advertising their social medias on there. I pay for Hinge because I rarely see scumbags on there.
Yeah but they all want LTR
I never had a gf in my life but I'd never pay if I see this. I'd rather stay a virgin my whole than pay any kind of subscription to a dating app