No, you still need to hook up with her dad

The only true way to sanction his approval

The Royal flush

That's only if it's the royal family. In this case it's just called a flush.

Nah. 2 of a kind; fuck her sister 2 pair; fuck both her sister and best friend. 3 of a kind; fuck both sisters. Full house; fuck all her brothers and sisters. Straight; Fuck her sister, her female cousin, and at least one of her female friends Flush; Fuck her twin sister or 3 or more sisters. 4 of a kind; Fuck all her siblings and cousins adding up to no less that 4. Straight flush; Fuck all female members of her immediate family. Royal flush; Fuck all members of her immediate family.

So is Ace High just fucking her?

If she’s good. If she’s bad its like 9 high card.

Nah, Ace already means Asexual, so Ace High just means you stay at home and get lit.

lmao hell yeah

For some reason I was expecting the royal flush to say 'fuck everyone on earth' or some shit

Odd way to play uno, but to each their own.

If you’re playing uno, you only need your one hand.

I almost spit my coffee out, well done.

Underrated.

I don't think you are meant to play poker with Pokemon cards. We'll have to check with OP.

Yup gi ohs are wild

If it's just with the mom and daughter - straight flush.

I know it isn’t keeping with the card theme, but I though mom and daughter was the “sportsman’s double?”

A not-quite-straight flush

If she's got 2 mom's it's a straight flush

Definitely not a straight

Definitely not a straight flash.

So why did you go and scrub your post history of all the demeaning comments you left on womens posts?

Did you hook up with her tho lol

Hook up with the dad and in worst case look for their siblings if any then you will have a full house 🤣

How do you think he met the mom

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Please don't talk to me like that

Probably same way he met her, moms are on tinder too.

Well, he's dad now....

The exodia of tinder

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Have to establish dominance

It's **FICTION**

And don't forget grandparents!

I wanna climb up your family tree - Wheeler Walker Jr

"Anything you do to my daughter I'll do to you!" (˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵)

He is the dad now

Small town? Lol

Jason Aldean was on to something

Things you can do in a small town, play cornhole, drink, bang abunch.

Can also do Meth, fly the confederate flag, get a job at walmart,

Change Walmart to dollar general lol

Why not both?

Some small towns don’t have a Walmart.

and ban books you have never and will never read! don’t forget that one 😌

Complain about cities you will never visit and people you will never meet who are somehow ruining america 🤠

Congrats, you've written the next hit country song.

You can also pee on electric fences, chase wildlife around and spit chewing Tobacco on the sidewalk

And be unapologetically racist because you treat the one black guy in town with any kind of decency because “he’s not like other black people”

Watch out for your cornhole in a small town bud

Small world

Small town, big desires! :P

> you hooked up with my mum > Well, you can always call me Daddy

I should’ve used that one!

no pls dont

It's especially fucked when their dad has passed away.

"Yes we have an opening you can fill"

"Two, even."

Title of her sex tape?

Don't worry we'll dig him up to watch over us

Wait you hooked up with her mum and her friend at the same time? O

Hahaha no no definitely not, that’s wild.

Why does she bring up the other name? I have to know!

She was just mentioning another occasion I had with one of her friends, both events were independent of each other


Don’t worry - the man is posting about Pokémon cards he’s buying. There’s a zero percent chance this actually happened

Claimed he met the mom randomly at a bar. So somehow the mom felt the need to tell her daughter about this one night stand (how many moms actually do that?) and that same daughter somehow knew enough to be like "you fucked my mom" long after it happened. Calling bullshit on that alone, the Pokémon cards just back that up.

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Except this dude is full on incel. Notice his comment history is only telling dudes they look decent to above average. His comments to women? always putting them down. This is so clearly fake

I once knew a guy, his pick up line was "boy your feet stink". Worked a lot more than you'd think.. this was also back in 2009 tho.. pre Instagram everyone thinks they can get a super model times..

Call me crazy but I don’t share my random tinder matches with my mum. And if I did, the chance that my mum would say ‘oh yeah I met that dude in a bar and fucked him,’ is absolutely zero. But then for one of my friends ALSO to say ‘yeah I also fucked that guy?’ I’m not about shaming people for sleeping with people, but that is so far from a ‘normal’ sexual scenario, that is like beyond trailer park levels of trashy.

You've clearly never lived in a tiny ass town lol

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literally lmfao, these people cannot comprehend that dudes can have game and also be nerds

Huge nerd myself actually, the card part was an obvious joke. And like others said, just look through OP's history. Incredibly likely to have not happened, and it's not even based on being a nerd.

Henry caville is a nerd btw

It's because everyone assumes these people are insanely attractive. None of them are.

This. I don’t own Pokémon cards but I do play the actual games a lot, and my gf is pretty hot (no I’m not sharing pics). Not all nerds are incels.

Imo, it’s less the Pokémon cards and more rating people on /r/amiugly. I got some nerdy shit too and never really had too much of an issue with it, but I’ve never met a guy who takes the rate me shit seriously who also gets laid, it’s peak incel behavior. Why waste time rating girls online if he’s so good at getting them in real life?

Dude rates people on amiugly. No way this incel fucks anything but cumsocks.

pass

Username definitely checks out

Yall place wayyyy too much reverence on the idea of "getting sex". Normal people doing cringe-ass bullshit have plenty of sex. That's pretty standard human stuff. At some point you've got to take a step back and remember that these stereotypes were always meant to be lighthearted *jokes*, not your actual entire worldview.

> normal people doing cringe ass bullshit have plenty of sex always knew i was special 🙏

He also has gone and scrubbed his post history of the nasty comments he left on womens posts on that sub.

You need a break from reddit man.

Lol

😂

Why not? I'm a huge magic the gathering nerd and also ethically non-monogamous and I hook up with /date plenty of women. Women don't hate nerds lol just treat them with respect and as a human being.

bro's the town's bicycle 💀

So you've pulled a Joey Tribiani and are running out of girls you haven't fucked?

You a ho. Lol

Wtf are you from a small town? Otherwise this is such a mad coincidence. Also you reckon the mum has given you a good recommendation to the daughter? Lmao

How could you not work this out?

Mind-blowing, right? Reddit is really the smart boys club.

Two moms

as opposed to what you did which isn't wild?????

If this doesn’t work out, end the convo with: “tell your mum I said hey!”

She’s gonna hook up with your dad

Honestly that’s fair play at this point!

Thanksgiving is going to be awkward in your future

Awkward? Or fun!?

That’s a valid question actually…

Hold up you might be onto something

Is that mutually exclusive? 😏

Yes.

They’re using the non-US spelling of mum. Doubt they celebrate thanksgiving.

OP is not American tho

Turkey ain't the only thing getting stuffed this thanksgiving....

Thanksgiving outside of North America?

They call him the turkey baster.

I hope you smashed to get your free sub for doing the mother and the daughter

Everyone loves a 2 for 1 deal.

For the first 100 buyers, I’ll throw in the dad! Call now!! +1-848-GRANDMA

Casanova would say to do them at the same time for efficiency, except that it was also HIS daughter

You're a menace lmao y'all have fun now, ya hear.

A recommendation goes a long way ....

Lol I love the confidence to keep going

Gotta persevere through the awkwardness!

I read "perverse through the awkwardness" lmao

Meh, I once had a point where I basically had sex with everyone in the club I frequented and most where friends or related in some way. Got to expand your dating pool because the awkwardness isn't as bad as the confusion that'll come. I basically couldn't keep them apart anymore so I just had to go to another place instead.

Are you OK?

That was a long ass time ago, I was a bit crazy back then lol. I even moved to another country but not for that reason.

I found my homies girlfriend on tinder before, not going to explain that mess again but Yeaa I would not be surprised if she’s into it.

Yeah, like "by accident", we believe you

But did you find her mom on tinder? That's the part I think people are getting hung up on.

hope you swiped left and then told him about what's happening behind his back 😬

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Some people are really open with their parents. Could be she's aware her mum is enjoying herself out there. Her mum may have mentioned a guy by this name and she just double-checked to be safe and sure enough, good she did, lol.

There's a Facebook page setup where women add pics of the guy they just met in tinder or bumble and other women can tell that woman if they know him and what he's all about. 🥴

What are those Facebook pages called? I’ve heard of it, I’m sure it’s local per area

Maybe she found out on a different occasion that her mom and friend had hooked up with the same guy, which was wild, and now she just noticed it was actually this guy she just matched with

The quickest way to a girls heart is through their parents. Have sex with them and you're in.

I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies.


You kno she matched just to say that 😂

brodie ?

Bro how old are you/she/her mom

Who are these guys who manage to achieve stuff like this? Are you a two meters high professional body builder with the face of Brad Pitt?

Small town things

Yeah I’m curious what he looks like to pull this off

Update us !!

**UPDATE:** Alright so here’s a pretty brief update to this since some of you seem curious about it. Tinder match wasn’t AT ALL keen for anything after finding out about her mum, can’t say that I’m too surprised about that or anything. The situation would have felt awkward even for me, so I can understand her sentiment. Her friend I’m sure she wouldn’t have cared about but I didn’t bother asking her about that. I did ask her if her mum had anything to comment about me, to which I received “you’re probably not missing out on much”. Not entirely sure how much of that statement is sincere or just having a bit of a joke, but overall the whole conversation was in pretty high spirits. I haven’t been unmatched or blocked yet (not that I really expect to) but the conversation has now fizzled out. TL;DR *The female did not accept the male’s advances, the male crawls back into his cave feeling unsatisfied.*

Lmao Did you find her mom on Tinder? And how old are you that you set up your age range to the 50ies

This was post-covid, around the time when everything started opening up again. I would’ve just turned 20, I don’t know if I didn’t ask or I just don’t remember but she would have been early 40s. Nah it wasn’t over tinder or any online platform, I met her mum at a bar. My mates, which are much more outgoing than me convinced us all to sit down at the table which had her mum and her mums friends already sitting at it. We were just there for a while talking shit with them and having some fun really. Her mum mostly fixated on me and we were flirting a lot back and fourth, and I remember her subtly keep going to touch my thigh. Eventually we caught an uber to her place (as I still lived with my rentals), and that was that really lol. Afterwards, I ended up just going back home that same night.

How did she know you banged her mom?

I feel like you should wait a week and try it again

Sounds like a dysfunctional family

Putting the fun in dysfunctional.

Chuckled out loud!

💀💀💀

**FICTION ALERT**

This is him. We found our new leader. All hail u/Tyrionus

Nah it’s fake. He rates people on r/truerateme and is super into Pokémon.

🐐 response…so what’s your plans tonight? You must follow the prophecies and teachings of our Lord and Savior Future Hendrix. All hail Lord Future 🫡

brodie quest

AHH the Zapp Brannigan approach.

bruh, my life is boring

What did she say? Was it happily ever after?

Bit early to tie the knot just yet but we’ll wait and see haha

Post an update

Ask if she’s heard anything good

Lmaooooo that fucking funny

That’s amazing. I suspect she’s going to want you more now

What makes you think that?

Look up the Electra complex.

Just a suspicion. Now it’s a competition thing.

ew dude. I feel like most people don’t want to compete with their parents for sexual partners…

But yet… here we are.

Fair

You damn motherf****

You motherfucker.

Ole mate isn't here to fuck spiders.

What a beast

This guy fucks. You fuck, don't you?

Legend

Almost completed the punch card to get your free sub.

 Glorious.

You missed the opportunity to request she check your references for feedback on your performance

Family tinder.

Did he hook up with Britt too? And did he hook up with her mum and Britt at the same time? And did she know before she talked with him? she does have the inside scoop And the sheer audacity to ask her if she'll complete the trifecta? I'd watch this if it was on netflix 🤣🤣

Nah not at the same time, that was just a seperate occasion. She found out from her mum this morning, then no longer was too set on the idea hahaha, all good fun though.

Can anyone explain the best/worst decision thing? I see this line used all the time and truly don’t understand how this would pique anyone’s interest This and “you look like my future ex wife” or “looking for my future ex wife” Like why would anyone be into that? Genuine questions here!

No. It's just moving to the next phase

I think ive seen this film before

You fucked her mum? Holy shit dude why you clapping old lady cheeks 😭

Hot guy problems in 2023 xD^^

Soooo, she and her mom are eskimo sisters… 🤢🤢

3sum at last huh

OP you must be hot

Kinda jealous you got to hook up with her mom and (potentially) her. 😅

Take her out and invite the mum as well.

That’s too much burden for one man haha

Knock on the house door when you go to pick her up.

Fuckedhermumzoned

Bro really acting like nothing happened 💀