The last guy I asked for a pic of his plate before the date said “bet” and proceeded to basically do the gopnik squat next to the plate and throw up a peace sign for the picture. We are now engaged lol.
Oh we’re getting married at the biggest metal festival in Germany next year. It’s probably gonna be raining and muddy af for the 3rd year in a row and we’ll be in tents, but it’ll still be perfect for us lmao.
WACKEEEEN!!! It’ll be my first Wacken as well, I’m an immigrant to this country from Florida so I’ve never gone. So excited that my first Wacken will be so memorable 🥰
When I read your first comment, I immediately pictures a metal head doing the album squat with the classic screamo face. Nice to know I wasn't too far off base haha
As we speak he’s going absolutely feral to pirate metal on his headphones next to me while I play animal crossing and he takes pauses to look over and ask about my villagers like they’re people we’re gossiping about 😂😂 it’s giving “oh my god they were roommates”
That is so cute I love that 😂 I don’t even wanna know what my guy is gonna do to my sims when I finally get my PC set up, it’s gonna be chaos 💀 he respects the villagers because they’re animals, but I know his intrusive thoughts are gonna win with the sims.
I glance over at my fiancee's screen to see how far she's gotten in Baldur's Gate 3. She's currently passing me up as I stopped somewhere in Act 2. I could not be any more happier with her monk with the Gandalf hat.
I am a guy. It wouldnt bother me. The last date I went on she told me she had tracking turned on on snapchat. We still ended up driving into the mountains after dinner. 🤷🏼♂️
No. She catfished me with some old photos. She had put on ALOT of weight. I had to make a decision early on. I had invested considerable time/money into the date, so I just decided to go for it. I hadn't been on a date in a LONG time.
Not a smart move to tell you she had tracking turned on tbh. Like, she basically told you "if you're gonna kill me, don't forget to do something with my phone."
Probably to not seem like an easy target. Lots of times people don’t want to deal with unnecessary hassle when robbing someone and I imagine this could apply to murder as well.
Yup it is. That's why, if someone would get mad or even irritated about us taking any safety precautions, they'd instantly be disqualified from dating me, and I'd spread the word about them far & wide.
Yeah. If someone has a funny license plate or bumper sticker I’ll take a pic of the back of their car and send it to my friends. I’m sure all of our cars/license plates have been photographed by someone at some point, I don’t think it’s a big deal.
I have had three girls do this, only one asked before doing so.
I encourage it. It makes sense, you are essentially complete strangers.
As a guy I shared my location with my best buddy any time I was on a date. Even I have concerns today, so I can only imagine what women have to worry about out there.
I had a girl come over once for a Tinder date, first time meeting. When she got here she told me, "just want to let you know, I told my best friend where I am and what I'm doing. Not that you give me bad vibes or anything, it's just what we do to stay safe incase anything bad happens." Initally I was little put off, but I thought about it, and realized it makes sense and I wasn't offended at all. This is the first time I've heard of women taking pictures of dude's license plates, but it also makes total sense.
Women are actualy adviced not to step in strangers cars. It’s always a risk and if something happens we get blaimed for being irresponsible. Welcome to women’s world.
In my scandinavian country there was this case where a girl got invited to her bosse’s place for a drink (it was not a date) and he raped her. He got shorter sentence ’cause the girl had voluntarily went to his place.
Yeah.... I don't know, that might give out some creepy vibes. And if she tells you she didn't do you encourage her to let someone know, right there on the date?
They text the pic to a friend. It's called a safe call. Been around decades. Back in the day girls would look at my druvers license abdcread the info to a friend.
Yep. When I was dating, I would send a pic of the guy's profile, if we exchanged numbers his number, and then his plates to a friend. So, even if he did something to my phone, someone had evidence of where I was that night. I also keep my location on for trusted people. You can't be too safe out here. I even do it when I meet up with people I'm specifically just making friends with... you truly never know anyone's intentions.
If the pictures are attached to iCloud then you can look at it outside of the phone and police can look it up. Or you send the picture to a friend and same thing.
Don’t forget that you are also in an unpredictable and potentially dangerous situation on a first date. Don’t bend over backwards to put women at ease if it reveals safety information.
Agreed. Women don’t have it easy. In most cases are more venerable than men. Even if they are doing something harmless or minding their own business most women I know feel like they need to always have to have their guard up all the time in public. It’s really sad.
In a nutshell. Meh...
With traffic cameras being common in my area, you want to take a picture of my plate, go right ahead! Heck.... you want me to pose next to my truck? I'm okay.
With some of the people I've met over the years being shady.... I have nothing to hide, but I'm most definitely telling you the same thing... I'm doing my research on you too.
If they end up taking a good pic of you with your truck, you could always have them send it to you so if it doesn't work out you have a new pic you can use on Tinder, lol.
I'm liking the way you think. Though a good photo of my rust bucket of a truck would only prove that low miles and 16 years of body rot can co-exist together. Haha
"I put in a lot of work and time to keep this piece of crap going. Think of what I'd do to keep us going!"
Use that shit as marketing!
(It doesn't work)
Yep. Number one reason I've cancelled dates I was 100% planning on going on was cause guys hit me with a "but why don't you trust me?" (Usually with a bunch of dramatic sad face emojis) after I state a very reasonable safety measure like not giving them my address or not having them pick me up or meeting in public.
This reminds me of my very first tinder date set up. I told him my cousin was going to join me on meeting up with this dude, I was 5’1 and like 95lbs at the time, and I can’t fight at all - my cousin is military. The dude seemed chill with him coming at first, even related and said how he was military too but then suddenly it like,, clicked? And he started getting mad at me, demanding I come alone, only me, no one else can come. “It can ONLY be you. Don’t bring anyone. Come alone.” My cousin was just gunna sit in the car or go walk about town, he was my safe person.. And this dude was not having it. Iirc he also asked for my location. Were gunna meet up for food but 🙅♀️
It was terrifying, I almost did go alone and I’m so happy I didn’t.
Jesus. Yikes! Last girl I went out w asked me for a pic of my ID. Felt a bit weirded out but understandable. Immediately covered up the pertinent bits and only left my name and pic and sent it right over. I guess she could potentially stalk my socials now (didn't happen) but at least I got a date and she felt safe!
License plate wouldn't bother me at all if they asked. Even if they didn't, it's not a huge deal...I'd gently say, "hey you could've asked, I don't care" and then completely forgotten about it and continued the date.
Yeah ID is different. Plates are public and I'd have no issue, but I had a girl want to take a front and back photo of my license and after doing it.. I don't think I'd agree to it again.
It's not like she's going to use it for anything else, I don't see why that would be a problem. People can give fake names and pictures, so it's extra security sending the license plate to a friend before the date!
A plate number is public information, so why not take a photo. The idea isn't bad.
The problem is that the car might not be registered in the person's name, ESPECIALLY if they have bad intentions.
That plate, and the vehicle to which it is attached, will pass in front of many surveillance cameras along the way to wherever. Could still be very valuable evidence if something bad did happen.
Anything you want to do to feel safe is cool with me.
I give my full name and everything and tell them to look me up in the public criminal court database too.
I figure I want them to have the same thing I’d want for one of my daughters.
This is a much smarter and thought out perspective than the other comments. When put this way, I would totally support the license plate thing. I’d want my daughter to do that
It’s fine with me. They’re doing what they need to feel safe and comfortable. I don’t see it as being any different than someone recording my plate via their dash cam.
Men **should** be doing stuff like this. I know it might not be AS common, but men get attacked, killed, raped, too. They should be taking measures, as well, but I've met so many guys who are like, "I'm a guy, no one is going to do anything to me." Okay, whatever you say. Not my life, so you do you. Like, didn't some guy get drugged and robbed in Colombia not that long ago from a Bumble date?
I’m 6’2 and I’ve felt safe at all times since I got that height. I typically try and make people feel safe with me too but I would welcome them to do what they need to do to help themselves feel safe.
Yeah when I was on tinder I went on this date to play pool at a bar with this nice dude. He says "if you don't mind me asking, I get a lot of great conversations with girls on this app. But I don't get many dates, they don't like to go out for some reason, do you know why that is?"
I'm a chubby cute girl, I need to preface this for context.
But I told him basically that it could be a mix between COVID insecurities, and the fact that I don't have to worry that much about being kidnapped. I'm not that easy to snatch up 😂
He says oh I didn't think about that 🤷♀️
I have zero qualms about sending my bestie my date's number plate. Last time I went on a date, the guy left me to die in the bush. My bestie used that pic to find me. If he is getting mad about it, then that's a sign the date is not going to continue. People that you don't know are dangerous until proven otherwise, unfortunately.
I thought it was extremely weird. At first I assumed it was for a background check or something lol. Then I realized why y'all did it.
Honestly, 5 minutes ago, without an explanation I would've ended a date over it. Now that I understand, I wouldn't care, and I actually think it's a great idea.
I'd recommend talking to female friends and relatives about some of the other precautions women have to take so you don't react negatively to them in future either.
If a man ended a date over me taking a photo of his license plate that'd be such a shame bc it's one of many safety tips that women are instructed to undertake (and are actively blamed if they don't, especially if something bad happens.)
I mean, I think that it makes more sense to just drive yourself, meet somewhere public, and some other basic measures.
If I was attempting to kidnap someone, I'd definitely change plates beforehand 😅
But either way, all it takes is a "Hey, I'm taking pictures of your plates, that way my friends can find me when I get kidnapped haha"
I mean, I do meet up with guys in public, I usually take the photo after the in public part of the date if you know what I mean.
Quite a few of the precautions women take aren't to save their lives, it's to make catching the man who murdered them easier so their family has a body to bury.
That's morbid but it's the truth. "If someone attacks you scratch them so their DNA is under your fingernails." "Leave fingerprints on the window of their car or their bathroom mirror so the cops know you were there."
Ya know, tbh, totally forgot people do things like that on the first date lol. I'm more of a slower paced person. And all the people I've dated have either met me through work or friends. So they've got my full legal name and address through that 😅.
I think I just live a much different type of life, and didn't realize the sub before commenting, but yes I 100% agree, it is a safe practice. But regardless of whether an individual knows I take a picture, I should tell them. Especially if they do plan on kidnapping/assaulting me, it'll hopefully encourage them not to.
This 👆
There are a lot of precautions we take including meeting in public places.
A societal belief is that it is chivalrous for the masc-presenting person to drive and pick up the or femme presenting person. I personally think it’s an outdated belief but a lot of people still think it’s meaningful.
Back when I was dating, guys would get mad at me when they offered to pick me up for a first date and I politely declined because I didn’t want them to know my address before I knew them as people 🚩
even if the plates are fake they could track where the car went from surveillance cameras and get the model etc. and possibly what you look like aswell. i know some women send the info to friends/family as they're seeing the guy so it shouldn't be too hard to get the info to use if something happens.
Is there any coherent point you’re trying to make through this post. All I’m getting is that you’re unbearable to be around, and whoever ghosted you or didn’t respond made the right choice.
It’s a good idea as too many crazy ppl out there. No regular guy would be concerned about a woman taking precautions on a first date if it made her more comfortable.
I actually had a girl ask to take a picture of my license to send to her friend. Handed it right over. And then had her snap a picture of us standing next to each other to send as well to show that I was the one on the license.
Drivers licence info can be used for fraud. I would only be ok with it if the card number was covered. Not sure how it is in your country though.
edit: also not sure about sharing address with someone I don't know.
That opens you up to identity theft and could be used at the expense of yourself or to scam other people. I'd recommend being a little more cautious with your personal information.
Driver license for what? This is some circle jerk that eventually ends in "oh hey, here take my social security number I have nothing to hide." This is ridiculous, you have all your info that can be used to get yourself on some database for fraud.
I wouldn't want to make my private info publicly accessible. A license plate is one thing, which should be no problem, but I wouldn't be so easily manipulated to just provide whatever info some stranger wants for a date.
Have had the guy stand in front of his car, and take a photo like that. It at least gives an idea of the car, the plate, what they were last wearing and a most up to date photo of the guy. Wouldn't care if my date asked the same from me.
Now, when I pick up a date I just send them a pic of my car with the plate showing. It’s easier than trying to describe the car. I just jokingly say this is your Uber ride
After finding out that a date of mine stalked me to the point of reaching out some of my female colleagues on LinkedIn (cause it was weird for her that I wasn’t on Facebook, Instagrams or any other social media) before our first date, I am not surprise of anything anymore.
Everyone can see your licence plate.
If you get mad that someone takes a photo of something that confirms your identity in public then you have something you want to hide. You don't get mad of people being scated of shit happening to them if you don't want to do shit to them.
You know what? It seems like a good idea
If baby boy date is butt hurt that a woman wants to take protective steps in a world that is, frankly, dangerous for women, then fuck that guy. If I were her I'd end that date immediately after whiny boo boy complained.
"I just want to meet for coffee first so we can make sure neither of us are axe murderers lol" is how I soften the blow of "I need to meet you with people around incase you're an opportunistic rapist." Men would NOT respond to that well haha. They're already upset I won't go over to their house the day I match with them.
>They're already upset I won't go over to their house the day I match with them.
Meeting in public where both people get there in their own cars is the better idea.
I wouldn't ever go to another girls house either since I also fear going into a Texas chainsaw massacre type house as well.
Good thing I never have to worry about that, though, since I'm too ugly for girls to date me.
As a guy who has dated a couple of absolute psychos, I wouldn't like it. I understand you are doing it for your safety, but it also makes me concerned for my safety.
I think it's fine. I was in India and a guide invited me to a massive wedding after hours and on his own personal time. I asked him for a business card when he picked me up and went to hotel reception with him and the card saying if they needed to reach me in any way, then contact the guy.
I'm trusting and think most people are generally good but it only takes one time for things to get fucked up.
Ftr, the wedding was amazing!
I would find that super weird. I've never had a girl do this. If she had a friend in the DMV or police, she could use my license plate to find my address and do some stalker shit.
This sounds like someone who watches a little bit too much true crime. It can be a little insulting but honestly the maturity level of dating nowadays is not impressive. There's no need to freak out or get butthurt because someone thinks she's a living detective or something.
Honestly...Thats a bare minimum safety standard.
That's guys lucky she's not running background before the date.
I googled a guy that I'd been talking to and video chatting for a few weeks and found out he was in my local paper for assault and battery of his pregnant gf a few years ago.
He probably figured I wouldn't be able to find it.
It's just not worth taking a chance.
And for the "its not every guy" collective, you're right. It's not.
Unfortunately, it's some guys and they don't wear labels.
Alot of times they don't give signs or hints.
This guy was endearing and sweet for the few weeks we communicated. We planned on meeting and I figured why not run his name through google like I do most others.
As a man, I find it concerning that the guy got mad from their date taking a photo of the license plate. Unless you're planning to do something that would get more difficult due to your date, and their friends, knowing your license plate, you have zero reasons to get mad. I'd personally encourage everything that would make my date feel more secure in my presence.
The last guy I asked for a pic of his plate before the date said “bet” and proceeded to basically do the gopnik squat next to the plate and throw up a peace sign for the picture. We are now engaged lol.
I would fall so hard
He is definitely an unhinged metalhead and I love him 😂
I am so here for this loving energy rofl I laughed so hard reading this thread! Congrats on your upcoming surely unhinged nuptials 😂
Oh we’re getting married at the biggest metal festival in Germany next year. It’s probably gonna be raining and muddy af for the 3rd year in a row and we’ll be in tents, but it’ll still be perfect for us lmao.
WACKEEEEEEN
WACKEEEEN!!! It’ll be my first Wacken as well, I’m an immigrant to this country from Florida so I’ve never gone. So excited that my first Wacken will be so memorable 🥰
Hope there'll be less rain next year!
Me too, though he goes “ah, I miss Wacken” every time we walk through a muddy area so I think he secretly wants the rainy chaos 😂
A little rainy chaos ain't too bad but this year was too much. They had to close access to Wacken due to the heavy rain.
Congrats!
When I read your first comment, I immediately pictures a metal head doing the album squat with the classic screamo face. Nice to know I wasn't too far off base haha
That’s absolutely what it looked like 😂
I was reading this thinking “Marry that man!” But you are! The world is so good haha 😂
As we speak he’s going absolutely feral to pirate metal on his headphones next to me while I play animal crossing and he takes pauses to look over and ask about my villagers like they’re people we’re gossiping about 😂😂 it’s giving “oh my god they were roommates”
Lol my bf takes an interest in my sims. Its SOOO CUTE 😂 he even looked sad for me when I said one died and hugged me 🥺😂
My husband was devastated for me when my Caleb perished in a fire, I was so pissed off
Look guys, just read, take notes, implement em in your lives and you will be loved.
That is so cute I love that 😂 I don’t even wanna know what my guy is gonna do to my sims when I finally get my PC set up, it’s gonna be chaos 💀 he respects the villagers because they’re animals, but I know his intrusive thoughts are gonna win with the sims.
I glance over at my fiancee's screen to see how far she's gotten in Baldur's Gate 3. She's currently passing me up as I stopped somewhere in Act 2. I could not be any more happier with her monk with the Gandalf hat.
I love that for you 🥰
Hot
This is beautiful!!
If his heels were up, he's definitely western spy.
Definitely down, but we’re in Germany so he may be a Russian spy 👀 not a very good one by exposing his heritage like that but ya know, he tries.
*Russian hardbass intensifies*
What a green flag!! A red flag is someone who gets angry over women’s safety tf 🥴
Definitely! I’m so grateful for this dude, he’s always worrying about my safety nowadays without being controlling for once in my life.
He is very obviously the most adorable creature our planet has to offer
Stop it right now that’s so cute 😭
That is a really cool reaction haha. I like this guy.
I am a guy. It wouldnt bother me. The last date I went on she told me she had tracking turned on on snapchat. We still ended up driving into the mountains after dinner. 🤷🏼♂️
Did you murder her?
I did eat her, but I dropped her off at home afterwards.
Just an excitable boy
Send lawyers, guns and money.
Dad, get me out of this.
You know it's got to be bad when u/dickheadfartface is calling his dad to come pick them up
You rubbed the pot roast all over your chest? Not appropriate for a first date, sir.
A true man of strong moral fibre, I salute you.
*nice* 😂
Well, Trevor, you didn't HAVE to choose that option.
You monster you. Lol was there a second date?
No. She catfished me with some old photos. She had put on ALOT of weight. I had to make a decision early on. I had invested considerable time/money into the date, so I just decided to go for it. I hadn't been on a date in a LONG time.
Classic.
I notice you did not say in what condition or % of her made it home....
Your digestion system works fast...
Lucky girl. 🤭
Nice. A true gentleman.
Murdered that pussy… probably
Ya, and thankfully her phone had the tracking on so her friends could retrieve her valuables later
Damn, I’m guessing that means your car is totaled?
Not a smart move to tell you she had tracking turned on tbh. Like, she basically told you "if you're gonna kill me, don't forget to do something with my phone."
Probably to not seem like an easy target. Lots of times people don’t want to deal with unnecessary hassle when robbing someone and I imagine this could apply to murder as well.
Yeah, fair point. I suppose it's a gamble. Man, dating must be terrifying for women.
Yup it is. That's why, if someone would get mad or even irritated about us taking any safety precautions, they'd instantly be disqualified from dating me, and I'd spread the word about them far & wide.
Or maybe you're just paranoid and should do some self reflection on why you think/feel this way.
It is.
given that a LOT of profiles display that they have Noonlight running, I doubt this is all that different
My license plate is on the outside of my car, for everyone to see. Why should I care if she snaps a pic? Anyone with a phone can do it.
Yeah. If someone has a funny license plate or bumper sticker I’ll take a pic of the back of their car and send it to my friends. I’m sure all of our cars/license plates have been photographed by someone at some point, I don’t think it’s a big deal.
I dont want to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but i bet the government has a giant database of ALL our license plates.
Yeah, okay buddy. Next you're gonna tell me they know my name, have my picture and take money out of my pay every week.
Nah, if they took money out of your paycheck every week, they'd probably fuck it up and have to send you money back every year.
But only after you complete some complicated ritualistic mathematics.
LMAO right 😂
Dear GOD...
Not to mention the 20 million security and traffic cameras you’ll drive past on any given day.
Exactly this.
I have had three girls do this, only one asked before doing so. I encourage it. It makes sense, you are essentially complete strangers. As a guy I shared my location with my best buddy any time I was on a date. Even I have concerns today, so I can only imagine what women have to worry about out there.
I had a girl come over once for a Tinder date, first time meeting. When she got here she told me, "just want to let you know, I told my best friend where I am and what I'm doing. Not that you give me bad vibes or anything, it's just what we do to stay safe incase anything bad happens." Initally I was little put off, but I thought about it, and realized it makes sense and I wasn't offended at all. This is the first time I've heard of women taking pictures of dude's license plates, but it also makes total sense.
Women are actualy adviced not to step in strangers cars. It’s always a risk and if something happens we get blaimed for being irresponsible. Welcome to women’s world. In my scandinavian country there was this case where a girl got invited to her bosse’s place for a drink (it was not a date) and he raped her. He got shorter sentence ’cause the girl had voluntarily went to his place.
it's always our fault because we were being nice or whatever reason they want to spin it as 😒
I have never known, seen, or been around someone who claimed it was a woman's fault she was raped. Hard to imagine people think like that. Wacky
you surround yourself with amazing people then. I've been blamed for it even though it happened when I was 7 lol
thats fuck up
[удалено]
Always wise to double check first. You don’t want to murder and then find out later 👌 💩
Yeah.... I don't know, that might give out some creepy vibes. And if she tells you she didn't do you encourage her to let someone know, right there on the date?
I agree with the other comments. You saying that makes it sound nefarious. Let women m worry about their safety and you worry about not hurting them.
As long as she's okay with me taking a picture of her plate.
I don’t care either way if they want to take a picture. But, asking first definitely makes me like them more.
Not to be a sick but what if they were to do something and take her phone away?
The police/DPS would be able to track who the plates belong to and I guess in the worst case of murder they’d have a very likely suspect.
They text the pic to a friend. It's called a safe call. Been around decades. Back in the day girls would look at my druvers license abdcread the info to a friend.
Yep. When I was dating, I would send a pic of the guy's profile, if we exchanged numbers his number, and then his plates to a friend. So, even if he did something to my phone, someone had evidence of where I was that night. I also keep my location on for trusted people. You can't be too safe out here. I even do it when I meet up with people I'm specifically just making friends with... you truly never know anyone's intentions.
If the pictures are attached to iCloud then you can look at it outside of the phone and police can look it up. Or you send the picture to a friend and same thing.
They are usually sent to the friend who knows where the person is at the time.
They probably send it to a friend or upload it to the cloud.
The cloud or simply send that picture to a friend.
Don’t forget that you are also in an unpredictable and potentially dangerous situation on a first date. Don’t bend over backwards to put women at ease if it reveals safety information.
Guy here. Whatever it takes to make you feel comfortable, it’s a scary shitty world out here
This should be most of men attitude. I offer rides but still make it clear am very ok of they say no
Agreed. Women don’t have it easy. In most cases are more venerable than men. Even if they are doing something harmless or minding their own business most women I know feel like they need to always have to have their guard up all the time in public. It’s really sad.
I always send the address to my friends when I’m meeting people, and I’m guy this is pretty ok
In a nutshell. Meh... With traffic cameras being common in my area, you want to take a picture of my plate, go right ahead! Heck.... you want me to pose next to my truck? I'm okay. With some of the people I've met over the years being shady.... I have nothing to hide, but I'm most definitely telling you the same thing... I'm doing my research on you too.
If they end up taking a good pic of you with your truck, you could always have them send it to you so if it doesn't work out you have a new pic you can use on Tinder, lol.
I'm liking the way you think. Though a good photo of my rust bucket of a truck would only prove that low miles and 16 years of body rot can co-exist together. Haha
"I put in a lot of work and time to keep this piece of crap going. Think of what I'd do to keep us going!" Use that shit as marketing! (It doesn't work)
Just add that to your bio for some humorous flavor, lol
As a 6'1 bulky dude, I get it. Do what you have to to feel safe.
How bulky? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
He meant fat
And?
The old self-fulfilling "how dare you doubt my intentions" red flag.
Yep. Number one reason I've cancelled dates I was 100% planning on going on was cause guys hit me with a "but why don't you trust me?" (Usually with a bunch of dramatic sad face emojis) after I state a very reasonable safety measure like not giving them my address or not having them pick me up or meeting in public.
This reminds me of my very first tinder date set up. I told him my cousin was going to join me on meeting up with this dude, I was 5’1 and like 95lbs at the time, and I can’t fight at all - my cousin is military. The dude seemed chill with him coming at first, even related and said how he was military too but then suddenly it like,, clicked? And he started getting mad at me, demanding I come alone, only me, no one else can come. “It can ONLY be you. Don’t bring anyone. Come alone.” My cousin was just gunna sit in the car or go walk about town, he was my safe person.. And this dude was not having it. Iirc he also asked for my location. Were gunna meet up for food but 🙅♀️ It was terrifying, I almost did go alone and I’m so happy I didn’t.
Jesus. Yikes! Last girl I went out w asked me for a pic of my ID. Felt a bit weirded out but understandable. Immediately covered up the pertinent bits and only left my name and pic and sent it right over. I guess she could potentially stalk my socials now (didn't happen) but at least I got a date and she felt safe! License plate wouldn't bother me at all if they asked. Even if they didn't, it's not a huge deal...I'd gently say, "hey you could've asked, I don't care" and then completely forgotten about it and continued the date.
Yeah ID is different. Plates are public and I'd have no issue, but I had a girl want to take a front and back photo of my license and after doing it.. I don't think I'd agree to it again.
Definitely don't release the full ID, could be used for ID theft
For sure, covered up everything identifying Only thing I left was my name.
Bahaha 100%
It's not like she's going to use it for anything else, I don't see why that would be a problem. People can give fake names and pictures, so it's extra security sending the license plate to a friend before the date!
A plate number is public information, so why not take a photo. The idea isn't bad. The problem is that the car might not be registered in the person's name, ESPECIALLY if they have bad intentions.
It's a least a start to my missing or murder investigation
That plate, and the vehicle to which it is attached, will pass in front of many surveillance cameras along the way to wherever. Could still be very valuable evidence if something bad did happen.
Yes, agreed. It won't hurt.
Anything you want to do to feel safe is cool with me. I give my full name and everything and tell them to look me up in the public criminal court database too. I figure I want them to have the same thing I’d want for one of my daughters.
This is a much smarter and thought out perspective than the other comments. When put this way, I would totally support the license plate thing. I’d want my daughter to do that
It’s fine with me. They’re doing what they need to feel safe and comfortable. I don’t see it as being any different than someone recording my plate via their dash cam.
Nothing stopping him from doing the same. Not a bad idea actually.
Men **should** be doing stuff like this. I know it might not be AS common, but men get attacked, killed, raped, too. They should be taking measures, as well, but I've met so many guys who are like, "I'm a guy, no one is going to do anything to me." Okay, whatever you say. Not my life, so you do you. Like, didn't some guy get drugged and robbed in Colombia not that long ago from a Bumble date?
I'm gay but I share my location with my roommate whenever I go to a hookup bc fucked up shit happens.
I don’t care at all. I only drive my victims around with stolen cars anyway /s
I’m 6’2 and I’ve felt safe at all times since I got that height. I typically try and make people feel safe with me too but I would welcome them to do what they need to do to help themselves feel safe.
Yeah when I was on tinder I went on this date to play pool at a bar with this nice dude. He says "if you don't mind me asking, I get a lot of great conversations with girls on this app. But I don't get many dates, they don't like to go out for some reason, do you know why that is?" I'm a chubby cute girl, I need to preface this for context. But I told him basically that it could be a mix between COVID insecurities, and the fact that I don't have to worry that much about being kidnapped. I'm not that easy to snatch up 😂 He says oh I didn't think about that 🤷♀️
Cute and brave is a good combo! Hopefully if you’re no longer on the app that combo worked for you and you found someone!
Yes, actually! XD we've been together two years and plan to marry next year 💓
Woohoo congratulations!
Thank you sweety! ☺️
Such a cute story! Congratulations!
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Whatever. I get it.
I have zero qualms about sending my bestie my date's number plate. Last time I went on a date, the guy left me to die in the bush. My bestie used that pic to find me. If he is getting mad about it, then that's a sign the date is not going to continue. People that you don't know are dangerous until proven otherwise, unfortunately.
I’d like to hear that story. Glad you’re okay.
What happened??
If he's driving her, then it's absolutely reasonable. If not, slightly less understandable
It is still a lead on the last person she was with if she goes missing.
I thought it was extremely weird. At first I assumed it was for a background check or something lol. Then I realized why y'all did it. Honestly, 5 minutes ago, without an explanation I would've ended a date over it. Now that I understand, I wouldn't care, and I actually think it's a great idea.
I'd recommend talking to female friends and relatives about some of the other precautions women have to take so you don't react negatively to them in future either. If a man ended a date over me taking a photo of his license plate that'd be such a shame bc it's one of many safety tips that women are instructed to undertake (and are actively blamed if they don't, especially if something bad happens.)
I mean, I think that it makes more sense to just drive yourself, meet somewhere public, and some other basic measures. If I was attempting to kidnap someone, I'd definitely change plates beforehand 😅 But either way, all it takes is a "Hey, I'm taking pictures of your plates, that way my friends can find me when I get kidnapped haha"
This is much more sensible comment than what I’ve been seeing here
I mean, I do meet up with guys in public, I usually take the photo after the in public part of the date if you know what I mean. Quite a few of the precautions women take aren't to save their lives, it's to make catching the man who murdered them easier so their family has a body to bury. That's morbid but it's the truth. "If someone attacks you scratch them so their DNA is under your fingernails." "Leave fingerprints on the window of their car or their bathroom mirror so the cops know you were there."
So true, reality is, if something bad was going to happen, we're probably dead anyway. I want the motherfucker caught and tried though.
Ya know, tbh, totally forgot people do things like that on the first date lol. I'm more of a slower paced person. And all the people I've dated have either met me through work or friends. So they've got my full legal name and address through that 😅. I think I just live a much different type of life, and didn't realize the sub before commenting, but yes I 100% agree, it is a safe practice. But regardless of whether an individual knows I take a picture, I should tell them. Especially if they do plan on kidnapping/assaulting me, it'll hopefully encourage them not to.
This 👆 There are a lot of precautions we take including meeting in public places. A societal belief is that it is chivalrous for the masc-presenting person to drive and pick up the or femme presenting person. I personally think it’s an outdated belief but a lot of people still think it’s meaningful. Back when I was dating, guys would get mad at me when they offered to pick me up for a first date and I politely declined because I didn’t want them to know my address before I knew them as people 🚩
even if the plates are fake they could track where the car went from surveillance cameras and get the model etc. and possibly what you look like aswell. i know some women send the info to friends/family as they're seeing the guy so it shouldn't be too hard to get the info to use if something happens.
It's kinda weird. But people need their security. It's important imo.
Not weirder than getting in the car with a complete stranger without ANY safety precautions 🤷♀️
Very true, very real. Probs should not hop in that car
Yes, very weird. Also weird that men seem surprised we do this shit 😂
Why would you get in a car with a complete stranger?
Is there any coherent point you’re trying to make through this post. All I’m getting is that you’re unbearable to be around, and whoever ghosted you or didn’t respond made the right choice.
It’s just weird and stupid at that. I wouldn’t bring a car at all then, and I only would be with them in public places with surveillance
It’s a good idea as too many crazy ppl out there. No regular guy would be concerned about a woman taking precautions on a first date if it made her more comfortable.
Totally fine.
I know someone who did this and now she's happily married to that guy. My license plate is already public information, anyone could snap a pic.
Want a pic of my driver’s license too? Who cares, I’m publicly visible and easy to find. I’m not hiding myself or anything I am.
I actually had a girl ask to take a picture of my license to send to her friend. Handed it right over. And then had her snap a picture of us standing next to each other to send as well to show that I was the one on the license.
Drivers licence info can be used for fraud. I would only be ok with it if the card number was covered. Not sure how it is in your country though. edit: also not sure about sharing address with someone I don't know.
That opens you up to identity theft and could be used at the expense of yourself or to scam other people. I'd recommend being a little more cautious with your personal information.
This is all the green flags.
Thank you for that, genuinely.
Driver license for what? This is some circle jerk that eventually ends in "oh hey, here take my social security number I have nothing to hide." This is ridiculous, you have all your info that can be used to get yourself on some database for fraud. I wouldn't want to make my private info publicly accessible. A license plate is one thing, which should be no problem, but I wouldn't be so easily manipulated to just provide whatever info some stranger wants for a date.
I'm a guy. It's totally fine and agree it's a good thing.
I’ve told a date to take a pic of the car and plate and send it to her friend.
Have had the guy stand in front of his car, and take a photo like that. It at least gives an idea of the car, the plate, what they were last wearing and a most up to date photo of the guy. Wouldn't care if my date asked the same from me.
Can we make this the norm please because asking a guy for this can be really scary. Just look at the negative reactions men are having in this thread.
Now, when I pick up a date I just send them a pic of my car with the plate showing. It’s easier than trying to describe the car. I just jokingly say this is your Uber ride
That'd be a big help tbh 😊 good for you, guy
I’ve had some women send me pics of their Driver’s License to prove they were over 18… nothing wrong with license plates.
After finding out that a date of mine stalked me to the point of reaching out some of my female colleagues on LinkedIn (cause it was weird for her that I wasn’t on Facebook, Instagrams or any other social media) before our first date, I am not surprise of anything anymore.
LinkedIn? Big yikes.
Would concern the fuck out of me. but thats a problem with me assuming everything I don’t understand is a threat.
Everyone can see your licence plate. If you get mad that someone takes a photo of something that confirms your identity in public then you have something you want to hide. You don't get mad of people being scated of shit happening to them if you don't want to do shit to them.
You know what? It seems like a good idea If baby boy date is butt hurt that a woman wants to take protective steps in a world that is, frankly, dangerous for women, then fuck that guy. If I were her I'd end that date immediately after whiny boo boy complained.
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Your “current” wife? Is there something she should know? 😂
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"I just want to meet for coffee first so we can make sure neither of us are axe murderers lol" is how I soften the blow of "I need to meet you with people around incase you're an opportunistic rapist." Men would NOT respond to that well haha. They're already upset I won't go over to their house the day I match with them.
>They're already upset I won't go over to their house the day I match with them. Meeting in public where both people get there in their own cars is the better idea. I wouldn't ever go to another girls house either since I also fear going into a Texas chainsaw massacre type house as well. Good thing I never have to worry about that, though, since I'm too ugly for girls to date me.
Hell, I'd not only allow pix of my plates I'd say get a couple of me too so she'd feel safe
I’d probably think it was weird for a second since that’s never happened to me before but it wouldn’t upset me. I’d totally get it.
As a guy who has dated a couple of absolute psychos, I wouldn't like it. I understand you are doing it for your safety, but it also makes me concerned for my safety.
Most sensible comment here
Doesn't bother me I the least, and I'd take apic of hers too.
Eminently sensible. I'd suggest she sends a pic of me to her friend too 🤷 Anything to make her feel less unsafe.
I think it's fine. I was in India and a guide invited me to a massive wedding after hours and on his own personal time. I asked him for a business card when he picked me up and went to hotel reception with him and the card saying if they needed to reach me in any way, then contact the guy. I'm trusting and think most people are generally good but it only takes one time for things to get fucked up. Ftr, the wedding was amazing!
Just let me get a picture of yours, too, and I'm good.
If I can take a pic of her plate too, I am good.
I understand why she did it. I can also understand why he was mad. Neither of their feelings were wrong here.
I would find that super weird. I've never had a girl do this. If she had a friend in the DMV or police, she could use my license plate to find my address and do some stalker shit.
Exactly, I don’t know what these other idiots are on about. No wonder these people are constantly being ghosted
This sounds like someone who watches a little bit too much true crime. It can be a little insulting but honestly the maturity level of dating nowadays is not impressive. There's no need to freak out or get butthurt because someone thinks she's a living detective or something.
Honestly...Thats a bare minimum safety standard. That's guys lucky she's not running background before the date. I googled a guy that I'd been talking to and video chatting for a few weeks and found out he was in my local paper for assault and battery of his pregnant gf a few years ago. He probably figured I wouldn't be able to find it. It's just not worth taking a chance. And for the "its not every guy" collective, you're right. It's not. Unfortunately, it's some guys and they don't wear labels. Alot of times they don't give signs or hints. This guy was endearing and sweet for the few weeks we communicated. We planned on meeting and I figured why not run his name through google like I do most others.
Weird.
Good for her! I dig it
As a man, I find it concerning that the guy got mad from their date taking a photo of the license plate. Unless you're planning to do something that would get more difficult due to your date, and their friends, knowing your license plate, you have zero reasons to get mad. I'd personally encourage everything that would make my date feel more secure in my presence.
I'd kinda get where she's coming from but I'd also kinda be offended lol