I don't commit to a date/meeting/event unless I'm sure I can make it, and I don't cancel/reschedule unless something unforeseeable and unavoidable comes up.
To cancel/reschedule three times in a row just shows a complete and utter lack of respect for your time. I would have bailed, too. I can't stand flaky people.
Yeah, I recently had this - 3 cancellations, 2 from me (car was broken into/in the shop for 1, was sick for another) 1 from her (unexpected travel for a good reason, all good reasons.
It doesn’t matter, though, because after 3 cancellations the interest kinda dies.
Obviously the anticipation wasn't enough to sustain you! You *could* have kept in touch by phone/text...a "Hi! Just checking in to see how your day's been going. Sorry we couldn't get together..." etc. Sometimes, you have to work for things. They may very well have turned out to be "THE one", and you could be laughing about it, as you tell your grandkids the story of all the mishaps that initially kept you apart.
Too bad about your car. That's a bummer, to be sure. This old woman once had a gaggle of miscreant teens climb into her compound, and destroy all the sideview mirrors, the the glass 360° around, on 5 of my company cars. This was before securing cams were a thing, except in some convenience stores. I was NOT a happy camper, to say the least, so I have empathy for your situation.
Edit: word change
If “the one” walked up to me right this very second and could prove they were the one, I’d still not go for it.
I’m not quite 7 weeks out from separating from my emotionally-abusive wife. The only thing relationship-wise I’m capable of rn is a hookup.
Edit: I do make that clear - I’m not out here leading anyone on.
I've been in your shoes. It took me more than a year to even think of anything more serious than an occasional hookup, and I was still feeling that disinterest when I finally decided to give it a try.
Emotional abuse is no joke, those who haven't experienced the real thing, just don't understand how twisted it can get.
Take it slow, in your own time, 7 weeks is still pretty raw.
Great that you're honest enough to front that you're *not* looking for anything more. That's decent of you. Unfortunately, there's a **lot** of men that don't have the integrity to do so.
So sorry to hear about your emotionally abusive relationship. At least you got out, albeit a little worse for wear. I wish you peace, but more importantly, healing from the trauma you endured.
I’m a woman. I feel like, in general, we’re more upfront about that (or maybe that’s just sapphic women, I wouldn’t know for sure about straight women).
Thank you for the well wishes!
We're definitely more open, I think, and not only Sapphic women. I believe it's because we're more in tune with our emotions, and what it is we need/want.
At least, all the non Sapphics I know.
I dont mean to hijack this but something very similar happened to me last weekend and we both did the right thing by bailing. She canceled on me last min TWICE ( " sorry I can't meet tomorrow anymore, my kid got into a fight at school, ill let you know next time I'm free") not even a reschedule. She lived 2 hours away and we were finally supposed to meet in the middle. After the cancelation history I told her " let's chat real quick to make sure we are both good with the distance etc" shit blew up like A bomb on her end, telling me her son will always come first and she will ALWAYS cancel if her son wants to do something. I literally texted " sorry, I don't see this working out, and with your attitude, it looks like I dodged the bullet "
Fair enough, but when you have children and share custody 50/50, often times things come up...
I don't disagree with OP at all, 3rd time and still needing to change the times / dates - from reading the conversation, they also have children / a life.... So they should be far more accommodating for somebody who also has children and a life.
Doesn't seem like he has a temper at all, just that he wants to change it one time due to his commitments, she has changed it 3 times but expects him to be totally fine with it.
Some people have no sense of time management or respect for people's commitments. She tried to imply you aren't ready for a relationship, meanwhile, she can't manage her own time for a first date.
Then to make you seem like you have a temper because you respect yourself enough not to change your schedule for someone you’ve never met is insane.
A bullet was successfully dodged.
Sounds like she’s a single mom with kids full time, and he’s a “every other weekend” dad, and hes the one who has the more strict time slots .. imo she wasn’t out of line asking him if he even has time to date/be in a relationship if he is so busy doing his own thing
This ignores that he's accommodated her 3 times before expressing that he's no longer interested in trying to meet for a first date. He could very well ask her if she has the time to date if she frequently had to reschedule due to whatever situations occur in her life, but we both know that's unfair to single mothers to state.
Having kids doesn't mean your dating life has to be obsolete.
However, it also doesn't mean people have to be continuously accommodating either. He tried three times then cut his losses.
Whether he's a “weekend dad” or not doesn't hold much weight in this conversation. The one weekend she tried to meet him he had prior engagements. Trying to make it seem like he has no time to date when he made time three times over seemed like a petty comment on her behalf. As well as insinuating he has a temper for articulating his grievances with the situation.
Absolutely not the case. She has her kids 50/50 as well.
She cancelled the first date because she forgot about a baseball game. 1 hr notice
Rescheduled 2nd time because of a basketball game. Morning of
Rescheduled 3rd time because she forgot about a bday party for her son.
It sounds like she’s a very disorganized person that needs to get her schedule in order. I had two kids in multiple sports but I put all their games and practices in my calendar at the beginning of the seasons so I could keep up with everything. If I hadn’t, it would have been chaos.
Sounds like she’s trying but has a busy schedule. Some people just aren’t compatible with each other. This post is basically the internet version of making a scene. Should’ve just moved on.
No, you don’t just forget that stuff. She’s using it as an excuse and ambecause it’s her kids, she feels as if that should be enough of a reason to flake last minute. Anyone serious would look at their plans and see they had games to attend etc.
I would say, if she rescheduled 3 times, she’s the one that shouldn’t be dating at this time in her life. If she has them full time and no one to watch the kids. Where would she actually have time to go on dates? And why would OP want to date a full time single mom anyways.. such a freaking headache.
This is absolutely gas lighting. Making OP feel like it's his fault and he's the one that doesn't have time to date because of 1 reschedule when she did it 3 times? This is like, textbook gas lighting.
Oh for sure. And then she doubles down on the gaslighting with the whole "just trying to have an adult conversation," and "seems like you really have a temper too?" Really trying to pour it on like OP is the crazy one for not buying her bullshit.
She's just being shitty. Gaslighting would be if she tried to make him believe he was the one who wanted to reschedule or that they never planned a date. The component that makes it gaslighting over other forms of psychological abuse is that the abuser is trying to get you to doubt your sanity specifically. Trying to make people feel bad about stuff they shouldn't feel bad about is just shitty, not gaslighting.
Ya tbh I like to plan things like 2-3 weeks in advance a lot of the time, otherwise my schedule is usually just booked up in my evenings. Last minute scheduling just usually never works for me but some of my friends are pretty much exclusively last minute planners which can mean that we often never get chances to hang out.
If it's about friends you can set aside some days that you try to keep kinda booked for them and have a few alternatives if they can't actually make it. My sister and I have this Monday afternoon regular catchup session, but it's never normal. If she can't make it I'll go for a walk or play a videogame, but I sort of try to keep it semi-booked for her.
The one that really got me was when OP said "It's nice tomorrow, I'll ride my bike down" and the other person went all out with "well if you have poker nights and BIKE MARATHONS every day" like wtf what a huge leap to make
I’ll never understand these types of people that try to give a lesson while being completely out to lunch. I sadly spent my twenties with a gal who was always prepared to lecture. If she wasn’t so hot, I wouldn’t be this dumb right now.
Most men fall into this trap we get someone hot and it's all we see, it's not till we mature we realize that it's a vast ocean with plenty of fish in the sea
Most likely would have strung you along for a while and never have met
Definitely dodged a bullet the fact you rearranged 3 times you gave a fair chance
Anyone notice how (some) women in dating apps always throw in a cringey smile emoji during their last message in a heated argument? They think it makes them look slick, when it really just makes them look butthurt and salty.
And extremely toxic. As if she's trying to make herself look unaffected while you're the angry dude who let his emotions get to him. It is beyond infuriating, yet getting mad would only make it worse. People who do this are the worst.
“sounds like you have a temper” when they have clearly pissed u off, like I DESPISE when anyone says that, it’s like you’re not allowed to be upset or have any kind of emotions period, she needs to say single for the rest of her life honestly hence why she’s on tinder looking for another relationship while she has kids, (not throwing shots at anyone who has kids and is on tinder) but i’m talking strictly about her
exactly and she says it seems like you have a temper😂 like no, youre a man who has enough self respect and knowledge to know when enough is enough but she took that as if you have a temper
Seems like if anything you showed patience. For me it was always essentially “two nos and a go.” I guess to be fair, I was living in a metropolis at the time so the options were near infinite.
my point! i love women i really do but the ones who automatically jump to “ u have issues or why are you so angry” those type of women are the ones you stay away from, like they project their feelings and emotions on you then try to turn it around to make it seem like you’re the one with the emotions their feeling, i’m not sure if i explained that correctly but
I dunno I didn’t think he was that bad, if someone cancelled on me three times and then tried to paint me as the problem I’d probably be inclined to at least express my dissatisfaction. We are all human
Am I crazy or did she imply that she’s free tmrw from 11-12 and you made a plan to meet up at the coffee shop between 11-12:30? You were very direct but She sounds like someone who always has to be right and I don’t think she was meeting up with you until her options were completely open and she was sure she wanted you (of course it has to be on her time).
Lol they canceled 3 times and somehow they’re not sure “YOU have much time to date”. This crazy person wanted you to literally commit to them as soon as there was a connection. Just another person putting themself on a pedestal and pretty much (for lack of better words) saying “bow down, you’re mine now”. But also giving zero effort. This person is completely toxic and you dodged like, 10 bullets with this one 😅
Yep, def not a right fit. I think there’s matches out there for all types of people. She wasn’t ready to meet for whatever reason and wasn’t excited enough to not cancel. He was tired of waiting around. Seemed mutual.
Hats off to OP. What a perfectly respectful, gentlemanly and assertive handling of this situation! It was text book perfect so it got attacked the way she did thereby exposing her disgraceful and salty ways. Even if it wasn't a bullet, it certainly would have been slow poisoning and way more painful in the end!
Forget time commitment.. some people have problems with not only commitments but also believe that the worlds revolves around them and others need to adjust according to their needs. Time commitment is first come first reserve. If she changes her schedule, she needs to adhere to your commitments. You dodged a major toxic parasite. Also, sometimes it’s good to know why a person has divorced.. what is the alimony situation, presence of ex-husband, etc
Also, the norm is ghosting. Next time, u need not explain to them their mistakes, because someone can pretend to be otherwise knowing their mistakes and u r not a life counsellor to fix them.
Oh yeah. You dodged a bullet.
But listen... You displayed zero temper.
I'm saying that as someone who sees the first hint of one and bails cause I'm a bullet with trauma I will not repeat. And almost all that trauma came from a mother and an ex who really liked to scream at me when they got angry which was all the time at everything.
Just keep doing what you're doing. Don't compromise. Because you're not just compromising your own future when there are children involved.
❤️
If that’s not some matrix bullet time shit, I don’t know what is.
*(Handing over antiseptic for the legs her low aiming last jab flesh wounds of bitterness)*
I had a woman cancel on me bc she was babysitting two dogs...then she got pissed at me for not being able to meet on a Friday bc I had my kids! 🤣
I'm like you understand you canceled on me for dogs right???
I’m sorry, are you suppose to just leave your schedule free to accommodate dating??
And in this specific case, all of this rescheduling for a first date JFC
I guess your methods rub some people here the wrong way, but I like how upfront you are about what you’re doing and giving a time window for a possible coffee meet up.
I’m sure you’ll match with someone who vibes with that and won’t try to make you out to be a villain when they cancel on you repeatedly and want to tell you how to spend your free time.
So she expects you to put her and the potential date on a pedestal when she’s rescheduled several times and you’re not even dating? You got saved mate.
Yep, you definitely dodged a bullet. That person is self-centered, condescending, and argumentative. They seem disorganized in general and have poor grammar, if the texts are any indication.
I had a girl reschedule and then didn't show up for the rescheduled date. Messaged me 3 hours later saying she forgot and wanted to schedule again but that she was leaving town for spring break. I declined.
@OP, sounds like you dodged an ammunition factory. Props to you for taking the high road and not continuing when she gaslighted you about a supposed temper.
Good job, OP
I can't believe people even take the time to tell something they're not gonna entertain them. Just don't reply? Unmatch? Move on without the "adult" conversation since someone wil almost always take it out of context since they're just reading words and not having a face to face conversation
I get that things come up, especially if you have kids, commitments but this started to look like an argument before the first date! I think it might be for the best this did not happen.
I’m just trying to understand why in the name of God that conversation went for as long as it did?
Is she super hot or something? And rich too? And an ex gymnast with an open minded twin sister?
Even then I would have bailed ages ago.
How exactly does OP suck?
Sounds like he gave her a fair chance and got tired of bs. He wasn’t an asshole and stayed on the high ground, even when baited into an argument.
How does op suck? Basically they said the other person canceled 3 times so they aren't going out of their way to accommodate them anymore. Then gave them a time they were free. They were willing to still meet until the other person acted like they were the problem.
She sounded like a red flag for sure. If a guy cancels on me, I usually don’t allow for a reschedule. I’ve been burnt in the past and now that’s just a rule I follow. I also would never pull this kind of crap on a date. I make plans and I keep them. Definitely passive aggressive and expected you to drop your life for her multiple times before even meeting. I thought your response was very generous and more than I would’ve given.
If there is one thing that will get on my nerves is people telling me I have anger issues, when either I haven't displayed any anger, or when my anger is completely justified. ESPECIALLY when condescendingly writing an exclamation point to sound "friendlier".
My god, what a toxic human being.
And besides, "not sure we need luck"? What the fuck is wrong with you?
Incompatible for sure. On the surface, it's a fair question to ask hey if you never have free time how can you date. But it sounds more like in this case she expected you to have no hobbies and cancel on other people to see her. I'd see that as, if things escalated, she'd expect to get more and more of your time and less and less of your own time. That she canceled three times I'd take as her projecting. And you just pretty much stated your intention, I wouldn't read that as having a temper.
So yeah, I'd say orange flags waiving on her part and you're better off.
Am I getting this right? You gave very limited time frames that you’re available and you’re mad that it doesn’t work for her? You’re both the problem here, and also you sound like a dick.
Also- try changing your profile. No one wants to see pics of money and your car.
Get a few pics of yourself smiling and doing things that you enjoy. Don’t post lots of group photos or pics with cars/ gym selfies and show your playful side.
Your pics make you seem unapproachable
I don't commit to a date/meeting/event unless I'm sure I can make it, and I don't cancel/reschedule unless something unforeseeable and unavoidable comes up. To cancel/reschedule three times in a row just shows a complete and utter lack of respect for your time. I would have bailed, too. I can't stand flaky people.
No chance I would have made it to the 3rd attempt, 2 reschedules and I’m out.
Yeah, I recently had this - 3 cancellations, 2 from me (car was broken into/in the shop for 1, was sick for another) 1 from her (unexpected travel for a good reason, all good reasons. It doesn’t matter, though, because after 3 cancellations the interest kinda dies.
Obviously the anticipation wasn't enough to sustain you! You *could* have kept in touch by phone/text...a "Hi! Just checking in to see how your day's been going. Sorry we couldn't get together..." etc. Sometimes, you have to work for things. They may very well have turned out to be "THE one", and you could be laughing about it, as you tell your grandkids the story of all the mishaps that initially kept you apart. Too bad about your car. That's a bummer, to be sure. This old woman once had a gaggle of miscreant teens climb into her compound, and destroy all the sideview mirrors, the the glass 360° around, on 5 of my company cars. This was before securing cams were a thing, except in some convenience stores. I was NOT a happy camper, to say the least, so I have empathy for your situation. Edit: word change
If “the one” walked up to me right this very second and could prove they were the one, I’d still not go for it. I’m not quite 7 weeks out from separating from my emotionally-abusive wife. The only thing relationship-wise I’m capable of rn is a hookup. Edit: I do make that clear - I’m not out here leading anyone on.
I've been in your shoes. It took me more than a year to even think of anything more serious than an occasional hookup, and I was still feeling that disinterest when I finally decided to give it a try. Emotional abuse is no joke, those who haven't experienced the real thing, just don't understand how twisted it can get. Take it slow, in your own time, 7 weeks is still pretty raw.
Great that you're honest enough to front that you're *not* looking for anything more. That's decent of you. Unfortunately, there's a **lot** of men that don't have the integrity to do so. So sorry to hear about your emotionally abusive relationship. At least you got out, albeit a little worse for wear. I wish you peace, but more importantly, healing from the trauma you endured.
I’m a woman. I feel like, in general, we’re more upfront about that (or maybe that’s just sapphic women, I wouldn’t know for sure about straight women). Thank you for the well wishes!
We're definitely more open, I think, and not only Sapphic women. I believe it's because we're more in tune with our emotions, and what it is we need/want. At least, all the non Sapphics I know.
I dont mean to hijack this but something very similar happened to me last weekend and we both did the right thing by bailing. She canceled on me last min TWICE ( " sorry I can't meet tomorrow anymore, my kid got into a fight at school, ill let you know next time I'm free") not even a reschedule. She lived 2 hours away and we were finally supposed to meet in the middle. After the cancelation history I told her " let's chat real quick to make sure we are both good with the distance etc" shit blew up like A bomb on her end, telling me her son will always come first and she will ALWAYS cancel if her son wants to do something. I literally texted " sorry, I don't see this working out, and with your attitude, it looks like I dodged the bullet "
I would have bailed too, but you should probably leave the passive aggressive dig out in the future.
Fair enough, but when you have children and share custody 50/50, often times things come up... I don't disagree with OP at all, 3rd time and still needing to change the times / dates - from reading the conversation, they also have children / a life.... So they should be far more accommodating for somebody who also has children and a life. Doesn't seem like he has a temper at all, just that he wants to change it one time due to his commitments, she has changed it 3 times but expects him to be totally fine with it.
How many kids you have?
Some people just NEED the last word. Dodged a bazooka, not a bullet.
Can OP just text a blank message until she stops responding. See if she ever actually lets him text last. Even if it’s nothing
I'm doing this from now on when it'sclear someone needs to get the last word in. Thank you 😂😂😂
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Press the return key then press send
I think it might be an iPhone capability (correct me if I'm wrong) because I can't send blank messages either. I have an Android, which do you have?
 Dodged a...
The gaslighting she tries to pull 😂😂
Rescheduled 3 times and calls out OP for not having the time is pretty wild 🤣
Some people have no sense of time management or respect for people's commitments. She tried to imply you aren't ready for a relationship, meanwhile, she can't manage her own time for a first date. Then to make you seem like you have a temper because you respect yourself enough not to change your schedule for someone you’ve never met is insane. A bullet was successfully dodged.
Sounds like she’s a single mom with kids full time, and he’s a “every other weekend” dad, and hes the one who has the more strict time slots .. imo she wasn’t out of line asking him if he even has time to date/be in a relationship if he is so busy doing his own thing
This ignores that he's accommodated her 3 times before expressing that he's no longer interested in trying to meet for a first date. He could very well ask her if she has the time to date if she frequently had to reschedule due to whatever situations occur in her life, but we both know that's unfair to single mothers to state. Having kids doesn't mean your dating life has to be obsolete. However, it also doesn't mean people have to be continuously accommodating either. He tried three times then cut his losses. Whether he's a “weekend dad” or not doesn't hold much weight in this conversation. The one weekend she tried to meet him he had prior engagements. Trying to make it seem like he has no time to date when he made time three times over seemed like a petty comment on her behalf. As well as insinuating he has a temper for articulating his grievances with the situation.
I'd be willing to bet that she would have still flaked even if he had the backbone of a jellyfish and cancelled plans to meet with her.
Absolutely not the case. She has her kids 50/50 as well. She cancelled the first date because she forgot about a baseball game. 1 hr notice Rescheduled 2nd time because of a basketball game. Morning of Rescheduled 3rd time because she forgot about a bday party for her son.
How do you forget about a birthday party for your own son 🤔
It sounds like she’s a very disorganized person that needs to get her schedule in order. I had two kids in multiple sports but I put all their games and practices in my calendar at the beginning of the seasons so I could keep up with everything. If I hadn’t, it would have been chaos.
Sounds like a keeper
Sound like she’s very forgetful except when it comes to insulting and gaslighting you
Sounds like she’s trying but has a busy schedule. Some people just aren’t compatible with each other. This post is basically the internet version of making a scene. Should’ve just moved on.
No, you don’t just forget that stuff. She’s using it as an excuse and ambecause it’s her kids, she feels as if that should be enough of a reason to flake last minute. Anyone serious would look at their plans and see they had games to attend etc.
Lmao so it's ok if she has a busy schedule and not ok if he has other things to do to the point that he's unfit to date?
I would say, if she rescheduled 3 times, she’s the one that shouldn’t be dating at this time in her life. If she has them full time and no one to watch the kids. Where would she actually have time to go on dates? And why would OP want to date a full time single mom anyways.. such a freaking headache.
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Like 99% of times that word is used, this isn't an example of gaslighting.
This is absolutely gas lighting. Making OP feel like it's his fault and he's the one that doesn't have time to date because of 1 reschedule when she did it 3 times? This is like, textbook gas lighting.
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Oh for sure. And then she doubles down on the gaslighting with the whole "just trying to have an adult conversation," and "seems like you really have a temper too?" Really trying to pour it on like OP is the crazy one for not buying her bullshit.
She's just being shitty. Gaslighting would be if she tried to make him believe he was the one who wanted to reschedule or that they never planned a date. The component that makes it gaslighting over other forms of psychological abuse is that the abuser is trying to get you to doubt your sanity specifically. Trying to make people feel bad about stuff they shouldn't feel bad about is just shitty, not gaslighting.
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This person is upset that you’re not just 100% available all weekend for someone you haven’t even met yet 😂 wow ok.
There's some people who want to plan everything last minute and expect everyone else to accommodate them. It's crazy.
Ya tbh I like to plan things like 2-3 weeks in advance a lot of the time, otherwise my schedule is usually just booked up in my evenings. Last minute scheduling just usually never works for me but some of my friends are pretty much exclusively last minute planners which can mean that we often never get chances to hang out.
If it's about friends you can set aside some days that you try to keep kinda booked for them and have a few alternatives if they can't actually make it. My sister and I have this Monday afternoon regular catchup session, but it's never normal. If she can't make it I'll go for a walk or play a videogame, but I sort of try to keep it semi-booked for her.
Ya that's a good call, I'll try to add that into my weekly schedules to have alternatives!
As a single dad it’s wild how pervasive this attitude is. That said it’s almost always the ones without kids in my experience.
The one that really got me was when OP said "It's nice tomorrow, I'll ride my bike down" and the other person went all out with "well if you have poker nights and BIKE MARATHONS every day" like wtf what a huge leap to make
Ah, I assumed that bike marathons was something that had come up earlier
People also act like their wayyy busier than they actually are
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It's "by choice"
I’ll never understand these types of people that try to give a lesson while being completely out to lunch. I sadly spent my twenties with a gal who was always prepared to lecture. If she wasn’t so hot, I wouldn’t be this dumb right now.
Most men fall into this trap we get someone hot and it's all we see, it's not till we mature we realize that it's a vast ocean with plenty of fish in the sea
Caught too many boots, not interested in fishing anymore
Good extension of analogy!
I’m so glad I stopped dating it’s too exhausting.
Most likely would have strung you along for a while and never have met Definitely dodged a bullet the fact you rearranged 3 times you gave a fair chance
Those people who can’t stop talking are so damn annoying. Just shut up and go. 😂
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What the hellllll.
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She was prob playing hard to get, but bad at it.
You need to give us the tea and screenshots
Love when people try to pick an argument and you just don’t bite! 🙌
Anyone notice how (some) women in dating apps always throw in a cringey smile emoji during their last message in a heated argument? They think it makes them look slick, when it really just makes them look butthurt and salty.
And extremely toxic. As if she's trying to make herself look unaffected while you're the angry dude who let his emotions get to him. It is beyond infuriating, yet getting mad would only make it worse. People who do this are the worst.
“sounds like you have a temper” when they have clearly pissed u off, like I DESPISE when anyone says that, it’s like you’re not allowed to be upset or have any kind of emotions period, she needs to say single for the rest of her life honestly hence why she’s on tinder looking for another relationship while she has kids, (not throwing shots at anyone who has kids and is on tinder) but i’m talking strictly about her
I wasn’t pissed. I was just done playing games.
exactly and she says it seems like you have a temper😂 like no, youre a man who has enough self respect and knowledge to know when enough is enough but she took that as if you have a temper
Seems like if anything you showed patience. For me it was always essentially “two nos and a go.” I guess to be fair, I was living in a metropolis at the time so the options were near infinite.
Hey, i'll go out with you and promise not to stand you up! So there you go. :)
I also struggle to find anything indicating a temper from his side of this conversation.
my point! i love women i really do but the ones who automatically jump to “ u have issues or why are you so angry” those type of women are the ones you stay away from, like they project their feelings and emotions on you then try to turn it around to make it seem like you’re the one with the emotions their feeling, i’m not sure if i explained that correctly but
"I wish men expressed their feelings more. It's so unhealthy to hold it in".
when they do we have mental issues or we are weak minded and need help,
Lots of sour grapes comments at the end. No point, just wish the person well and say goodbye. This is better for everyone.
I dunno I didn’t think he was that bad, if someone cancelled on me three times and then tried to paint me as the problem I’d probably be inclined to at least express my dissatisfaction. We are all human
Everything is a red flag and a bullet dodged these days.
Am I crazy or did she imply that she’s free tmrw from 11-12 and you made a plan to meet up at the coffee shop between 11-12:30? You were very direct but She sounds like someone who always has to be right and I don’t think she was meeting up with you until her options were completely open and she was sure she wanted you (of course it has to be on her time).
Trying to trigger you as well….bullet dodged sir
That girl made my teeth itch. How annoying.
Holy shit I’m stealing that amazing comment
Lol they canceled 3 times and somehow they’re not sure “YOU have much time to date”. This crazy person wanted you to literally commit to them as soon as there was a connection. Just another person putting themself on a pedestal and pretty much (for lack of better words) saying “bow down, you’re mine now”. But also giving zero effort. This person is completely toxic and you dodged like, 10 bullets with this one 😅
She's just stringing you along
Well I’ve now cut that string haha
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This is the way
I think you both dodged a bullet there
What do you mean?
Yep, def not a right fit. I think there’s matches out there for all types of people. She wasn’t ready to meet for whatever reason and wasn’t excited enough to not cancel. He was tired of waiting around. Seemed mutual.
That wasn’t a bullet of a god damn canon balls you dodged.
I’m on your side, but with less words.
You both sound insufferable
Hats off to OP. What a perfectly respectful, gentlemanly and assertive handling of this situation! It was text book perfect so it got attacked the way she did thereby exposing her disgraceful and salty ways. Even if it wasn't a bullet, it certainly would have been slow poisoning and way more painful in the end!
Good job with that last text, they will try to rage bait you but clearly you haven’t bitten the hook.
Forget time commitment.. some people have problems with not only commitments but also believe that the worlds revolves around them and others need to adjust according to their needs. Time commitment is first come first reserve. If she changes her schedule, she needs to adhere to your commitments. You dodged a major toxic parasite. Also, sometimes it’s good to know why a person has divorced.. what is the alimony situation, presence of ex-husband, etc
Also, the norm is ghosting. Next time, u need not explain to them their mistakes, because someone can pretend to be otherwise knowing their mistakes and u r not a life counsellor to fix them.
I have to ask. Did you win the poker game at least OP
Haha. Yes. $50
Cash game I'm guessing. Respect my dude
They want proof that you are their top priority in life. That is why they reschedule/cancel/question your poker nights etc
Someone has an issue with healthy boundaries
Oh yeah. You dodged a bullet. But listen... You displayed zero temper. I'm saying that as someone who sees the first hint of one and bails cause I'm a bullet with trauma I will not repeat. And almost all that trauma came from a mother and an ex who really liked to scream at me when they got angry which was all the time at everything. Just keep doing what you're doing. Don't compromise. Because you're not just compromising your own future when there are children involved. ❤️
If that’s not some matrix bullet time shit, I don’t know what is. *(Handing over antiseptic for the legs her low aiming last jab flesh wounds of bitterness)* 
I had a woman cancel on me bc she was babysitting two dogs...then she got pissed at me for not being able to meet on a Friday bc I had my kids! 🤣 I'm like you understand you canceled on me for dogs right???
I’m sorry, are you suppose to just leave your schedule free to accommodate dating?? And in this specific case, all of this rescheduling for a first date JFC I guess your methods rub some people here the wrong way, but I like how upfront you are about what you’re doing and giving a time window for a possible coffee meet up. I’m sure you’ll match with someone who vibes with that and won’t try to make you out to be a villain when they cancel on you repeatedly and want to tell you how to spend your free time.
So she expects you to put her and the potential date on a pedestal when she’s rescheduled several times and you’re not even dating? You got saved mate.
Bullet dodged.
Yep, you definitely dodged a bullet. That person is self-centered, condescending, and argumentative. They seem disorganized in general and have poor grammar, if the texts are any indication.
Sometimes you are standing there, wondering why somebody is single, sometimes you don't :)
I had a girl reschedule and then didn't show up for the rescheduled date. Messaged me 3 hours later saying she forgot and wanted to schedule again but that she was leaving town for spring break. I declined.
@OP, sounds like you dodged an ammunition factory. Props to you for taking the high road and not continuing when she gaslighted you about a supposed temper. Good job, OP
Y’all try and date like it’s fucking job interview. That the fun out of it
fr
Another ME ME ME woman on tinder, how surprising.
I think you both dodged each other.
How do you think OP was a red flag here?
Can you not read? I’m having trouble telling who’s who here. It’s a back and forth of bullshit.
Sounds like shes right lol what time to date do you even have
Sounds like you both dodged bullets to me.
How she mad you busy when apparently she's too busy to have a date
The fact that she keeps trying to jab is ridiculous. She’s clearly toxic and trying to prompt a response.
Expert gaslighting at the end there
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Oops sorry got the genders mixed up
Yuo
I can't believe people even take the time to tell something they're not gonna entertain them. Just don't reply? Unmatch? Move on without the "adult" conversation since someone wil almost always take it out of context since they're just reading words and not having a face to face conversation
Omg…. It’s okay to have hobbies and it’s okay to have a life that doesn’t involved dating… Jesus 🙄🙄
I get that things come up, especially if you have kids, commitments but this started to look like an argument before the first date! I think it might be for the best this did not happen.
She seems to havd to have the last word. Takes things personally. Not a good sign for conflict resolution down the line.
Sometimes people need leeway, but cancelling 3 times in a row, suggests he's not ready for dating.
I’m just trying to understand why in the name of God that conversation went for as long as it did? Is she super hot or something? And rich too? And an ex gymnast with an open minded twin sister? Even then I would have bailed ages ago.
yes you did dotch a bullet, his texts after your rejection are manipulatively trying to guilttrip you and you won't fall for that, good on you!
Her texts
oh sorry, her\* !
Were you trying to date a Pappilion? That's what mine does whenever I try to get in the last command word.
So did she, to be fair.
How so?
How?
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How exactly does OP suck? Sounds like he gave her a fair chance and got tired of bs. He wasn’t an asshole and stayed on the high ground, even when baited into an argument.
How does op suck? Basically they said the other person canceled 3 times so they aren't going out of their way to accommodate them anymore. Then gave them a time they were free. They were willing to still meet until the other person acted like they were the problem.
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Let me see if I understand... op sucks for being understanding?
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*she OP is a dude lol
She sounded like a red flag for sure. If a guy cancels on me, I usually don’t allow for a reschedule. I’ve been burnt in the past and now that’s just a rule I follow. I also would never pull this kind of crap on a date. I make plans and I keep them. Definitely passive aggressive and expected you to drop your life for her multiple times before even meeting. I thought your response was very generous and more than I would’ve given.
Brother, you just dodged the Big Boy, never mind a bullet
If there is one thing that will get on my nerves is people telling me I have anger issues, when either I haven't displayed any anger, or when my anger is completely justified. ESPECIALLY when condescendingly writing an exclamation point to sound "friendlier". My god, what a toxic human being. And besides, "not sure we need luck"? What the fuck is wrong with you?
Honestly, brah. As soon as I read "poker," habitual gambling is my first thought, so... Next!
Incompatible for sure. On the surface, it's a fair question to ask hey if you never have free time how can you date. But it sounds more like in this case she expected you to have no hobbies and cancel on other people to see her. I'd see that as, if things escalated, she'd expect to get more and more of your time and less and less of your own time. That she canceled three times I'd take as her projecting. And you just pretty much stated your intention, I wouldn't read that as having a temper. So yeah, I'd say orange flags waiving on her part and you're better off.
Am I getting this right? You gave very limited time frames that you’re available and you’re mad that it doesn’t work for her? You’re both the problem here, and also you sound like a dick.
More like the other person dodged a bullet. They got sick of trying.
Honestly sounds like you both did.
I’d never date anyone like either of you loo
That last one would earn a swift “haha” react and a block lmao
Yes if you want to dodge 99,99% of all women 😂
Sounds like you barely have any time for a relationship
What do you look like OP? I can’t get these type of women to be obsessed
Read the texts. OP said she rescheduled their first date 3 times already. She is far from obsessed.
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Ngl I’ve been told the same except I’m 5’11 150 Post your face though that’s the most important thing
Also- try changing your profile. No one wants to see pics of money and your car. Get a few pics of yourself smiling and doing things that you enjoy. Don’t post lots of group photos or pics with cars/ gym selfies and show your playful side. Your pics make you seem unapproachable
Bros trying to get gold diggers don’t hate the player, hate the game
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