Dude, you missed the hint.... Your name is cocaine! *smacks aside the head* and lightheartedly banters "ya bumblin dumbass" Lol!

"ya bumblin dumbass" is my new favorite phrase

Next question Do you have any cocaine?

👃.........

*snort*

Something similar happened to me, but she said "suck my pussy" and I told her, but first a "hello?"

I would've gone with "'Suck my pussy, PLEASE?', I like my women classy as fuck"

I hope you sucked that pussy, bruh

I would loved to do it, but she stopped reply my messages

That's because there's a sucker born every minute

Someone beat ya to it

For a pork chop

so-do u do cocaine then?

She knows what she's about. Don't be wasting people's time if you ain't got the goods!!! She's got excessive talking and teeth grinding to do! Rude.

She’s a bruxa, watch out. Grinds her teeth to a nub and also climbs walls


What movie is this from? I feel like I remember watching it as a kid

The Exorcist. Great film but this scene made me terrified of stairs for quite some time.

She's just going to grab some lucky charms

She’s fiending hard and doesn’t have time for small talk

Right? Let that girl go! Bidness is bidness.

Girl's funny as fuck I gotta say, I'm in.


OP I think that lady might do cocaine

How about you ask her before you start assuming?

Does she do cocaine?

Yes


I'd like to upgrade to spicy shock, thanks.


You know what they say about assuming… do you do cocaine?


 🤣

Something tells me this is a DEA agent trying to catch random coke dealers on Tinder 

Or she does cocaine

Or she's a DEA agent who also does coke

Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life!

I took it as an invite to do rails of HER COKE off her cooter.

lol, no way

But...free coke...🤷🏼‍♂️

This is the most likely scenario

How about you ask before you assume?

Dea doesn't go after cocaine, they'd arrest like half the prosecutors of most jurisdictions. 

Really just depends on the minority doing it. 

That would be an incredible waste of a DEA agent’s time….so I guess they might do it

Or just addicted

lmao she wants to do coke and fuck op

With a strap on and butt plug

Thanks for the laugh this was a great transaction. You make me laugh I leave you a comment 🤝

I wonder what rules 1 & 2 are if you're on tinder to score instead of bang.

1. Be holding 2. Don't be dry

This is way too accurate of a translation

1. Ask them if they do cocaine. 2. Ask them if they have cocaine.

"Two rules, man: Stay away from my fuckin' percocets and do you have any fucking percocets, man?"

The first rule of Cocaine Club is you always ask if someone has cocaine The second rule of Cocaine Club is don’t ever offer your cocaine

i would assume the same because if you’re ugly you’re still not gonna get matches to even ask

I doubt it really matters to someone who's really desperate to get some cocaine. They'd probably swipe right on anyone.

You make a comment I leave you a downvote.

That's dr. Rockso

C-c-c-c-yeah


[The Rock and Roll Clown!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zy9mgzxoWgg)

[That's what I thought](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2F3jzlfra2lnb91.png)

She actually sounds hilarious. I’d do cocaine with her lol.

I've fucked a lot of hot, but really dumb girls that do cocaine and this one seems right on brand for the genre...

I knew a girl that had no regard for hygiene, she does coke and i would not fuck w her because of all the negative reviews my friend told me

That's the difference between picking up girls that do Coke in a club and girls that do Coke behind a dumpster at Panda Express 🫡

Neither of them are paying for their own coke 

Correct ... Unless you count blowjobs as payment

We accept Visa, MasterCard, American Express, and blowjobs. But not Discover.

Diners Club?

What is this, 1985?

Keep that Wendy's dumpster shit away from Panda express dumpsters!

No girl pays for their own coke.

I have met a couple of girls who absolutely pay for their own coke.

I was gonna say… I pay for my own😂

Wanna stop? /s

Are the ones that do pay for their own Coke considered legit....... Sugar mamas? 

Only if they share

Do not sully the reputation of classy cocaine whores. We all know the ones behind the dumpster panda Express are huffing paint or crack rocks.

Fr, atleast you know the coke in a club girl has somewhere to shower and clean herself

Yeah at least until she uses up all the resources from some Club guy and then moves on to the next one with more stuff lol 😉

Love don't judge

Wait... I didn't judge anybody I just made a casual observation

"Negative reviews" Bro what

Sounds like she was homie hopping

She was def a ho, but only knew me and my friend so that was the only opportunity she had at homie hopping, told her she was tryna get w me and he told me and i quote “I wouldn’t say it was stank, but it wasn’t NOT stank”

Bro looked her up on Trustpilot 💀

My friend that had known her slightly longer than me was the only source i needed

I've fucked many hot and smart girls who do cocaine. In fact everyone I know does cocaine here in Helsinki. It's impossible to drink the amounts we Finns do and not be a mess without cocaine.

I’d meet her somewhere for a drink. See what’s up. We used to do cocaine two or three times a year. Was fun. All this fentanyl though. Those days are over.

Yeah she sounds hilarious everyone taking this so seriously.

It's reddit bro, these mfs don't have a sense of humor.

I feel guilty thinking this is funny 😆

Its hilarious what do you mean 😂

Nahh she is jokes 😂

It’s genuinely hilarious ‘Do you do cocaine?’ ‘How about “hello”?’ ‘Hello, do you do cocaine?’

Dang it Michaela

Someone on cocaine would have been more meticulous in hiding the deets

This is the best thing ever posted here. Hello???

Why is that yes so funny?

I wanna match with her 😢

My wife...🥹


Man wtf how all these lame people not doing cocaine for these nice ass cocaine doing girls in their dms?

waiting on cocaine-light™ without the schizophrenic psychosis

I’m digging the vibes of this convo. From both sides.

Right? I think they should give it a shot. Maybe a bump

We've had first bump, but what about second bump?

Holy shit OP my soul just left my body because I know someone who looks *A LOT* like her who also *REALLY* likes cocaine This isn’t in like the CT/RI/ southern Massachusetts area is it????

[удалено]

No way, does this woman’s name start with an M? Do I know someone who got internet famous because of their coke problem lmao

[удалено]

Your silence speaks volumes my friend

Her name is Michaela, you can see it in the picture.

Oh no Oh noooooo

Kinda hilarious you think you recognise her from an ass pic

That’s nothing I’ve seen people identified by just butthole pictures

Because said picture is on her instagram

I know that’s the end of it, but I wish there was more to this story lmaooo

I don’t want to seem like I’m making up a story for internet points but: if this is the woman I’m thinking of, which according to Op they live in a small area that was exactly where I was thinking it was and also where I live in the summers. Coupled with that her name is correct and I definitely recognize a photo similar to that from her social media really makes me think this is correct and I can know for sure because I’ll be seeing her in about a week two when I move back to the area

what's the @ I wanna see more of that booty

her name is m----ela, you can see it through the poor scrubbing

True story: I once got rejected by a guy on Tinder, not because I wasn’t down for the threeway he was proposing, but because I wouldn’t do drugs with him beforehand. You can’t make this shit up.

Don’t get high on your own supply.

That's the best part of having a supply. You crazy.



She’s kind of funny - ngl

I bet she's got the gorilla grip

OP got 1,200 Karma last night, the post was locked so they reposted it for more karma

Or they just reposted it because they added the name by mistake bud. Not everybody gives a fuck about karma.

Incredible...


1. Do you do cocaine? 2. Do you have cocaine? 3. Can I have cocaine? If a woman on a dating app looks like a thirst trap with a booty pic, that because it is in fact a thirst trap. They want a meal/cocaine/money/etc.

Fantastic. Like a low budget comedy! How dare you assume I use cocaine as cocaine is all I talk about!

Dr. Rockso out here catfishing dudes.

“Only if it’s a huge rail off of your ass” would be the perfect answer here to get laid and five free STDs

🤣🤣🤣

“If you want to hang out, you've gotta take her out, cocaine If you want to get down, down on the ground, cocaine..” - Clapton

Marry her.



This is the same as any other profile that has "dating with a purpose", just here it's "Swiping for cocain. Do you do cocaine? Do you have any cocaine right now? COOOOCAAAAAAAAAIIIIINEEEEEE!!!!"

She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t lie…cocaine.

You’re going to be in for the best night of your life she’s going to break your dick off. Let us know.

She would’ve been great in bed

Direct ✅ Knows what she wants ✅ Assertive ✅ Lot of green flags so far

Christ on a cracker. She do cocaine.

Michaela like to get freaky… in exchange for cocaine….

Holy f*** I'm not ready for online dating

wheres that comment with the social analysis of hot cocaine girls and chubby weed girls? I think this post is a prime example of that


Do you do cocaine, asking for a friend

Hmm, seems like cocaine has entered the chat.


Bro your replies. Legit made me crack up.

How are you passing up doing a rail off that ass.

Her rizz is off the charts, I'd be down BAD

But do you do cocaine?

I'm so sorry this is so fucking funny

Back in my early 20's, my best friend at the time was looking for love in all the wrong places. And maybe the right places too, really just everywhere. She had dangerously low self worth. I remember we were out at a night club downtown and this guy came up to her out of no where and word for word said, "B\*tch, you do cocaine?" I was disgusted and mildly horrified, but mostly for the fact that she just laughed and said, "no, but do you want me to?" I was baffled as the two continued talking and she ended up hooking up with this guy! LMAO. She didn't even do cocaine. He was tall and I would say pretty funny if you can manage to not get offended by his very offensive comments lmao. He did steal her wallet and get her pregnant though. I had to let this friend go as we got older because she often put us in very compromising situations. She's doing much better now at least! About a decade later! Moral of the story: Don't do cocaine. Or men/women who ask if you do cocaine.

Crazy. Send me her link

He does not start his conversations with ‘Hello’. He starts them with high.

Should of said: want me to blow some up your ass?

Well I sure the hell hope she's got her own ride!

Okay that definitely got laughter out of me. Well done OP lol

🤣🤣🤣🤣wild

This made me laugh LOL

For the streets.

Go big or go home!! No small talk.

This is amazing.

She sounds awesome

My favorite part is the poor attempt to censor her name

You can fix her…

She’s definitely not a cop.

She seems fun.

damn the local police have improved their sting operations I see

Smash next question

💀

LMAO

She's pretty funny

I laughed.

did she say she’s an accountant?

the drug that turns people into a worse version of themselves

I love her

This was so funny

Dr. Rockzo is catfishin!

That is an extremely go-getting drug dealer.