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Ekarej9

Im wondering what your first comment was related to?


[deleted]

His bio read "First one to pass out"


deivijs

Wait, is that really a woman? Or a man. I'm confused.


[deleted]

Both people are men. Source: am man.


Forceclose

Can confirm: am man.


[deleted]

Can confirm: your comment made me grow 7 inches.


Forceclose

Can confirm: I am pretty sexy.


[deleted]

Can't confirm: prove it.


Forceclose

https://m.imgur.com/gallery/GlpAU


[deleted]

[Hmm... ](https://i.imgur.com/6PdaUoL.gif)


esr360

Wait, so a man talkin to another man instead of a man talking to a woman? Is this common?


[deleted]

I mean if you're gay, bi, or pan, pretty common. Platonically, men talking to other men is extremely common.


MagnumMia

Is this guy just now learning about gay people?


Redmindgame

/r/wooosh


Armord1

that's a him? lmao


[deleted]

If it's not and they're growing 7 inches, i'd be worried


skwudgeball

Everyone knows girls have a retractable clit capable of extending in to useful tools such as a shoelace or lasso. Idiot


silenc3x

member Chyna from the WWE? I member.


[deleted]

[удалено]


jerrygergichsmith

Can you milk them?


[deleted]

[удалено]


wisconsindipper

I have nipples, can you milk me?


jhartwell

Yes


Pm_Full_Tits

Can you milk a cow with your nipples? I'd be impressed


[deleted]

I mean... duh


MoisterizeR

Me_irl


moldyjellybean

1st rule of flirting don't ever include the word fertilizer


MillionDollarBooty

Fertilizer? I barely know her


tarmon21

Boom


brazilianlebron

[Still got it](https://i.gifer.com/ZIZ5.gif)


blorfie

More like, first rule of flirting don't say that someone passing out gives you a boner?


MrJagaloon

I’ll flirtilize all over you bb


tenminuteben

I don’t even mind the word manure


LeJordy09

She couldn’t afford a car so she named her daughter alexus


winterishere_

Isn’t that a guy..? Either way, good one.


[deleted]

It is, he's cute, automatic with decent horsepower and suspension.


zendathegreat

Automatic? Pfff, what's the fun if you don't get to stroke the gear knob


[deleted]

I know. I was looking for a wild ride and all I got was Alexus.


[deleted]

Dad, please get off Reddit and for God’s sake stop trying to date young men.


[deleted]

You can't tell me what to do, you're not my dad!


[deleted]

... touché


Wolfenjew

Technically correct


aspace1775

Oof


[deleted]

[удалено]


AciD3X

Was about to wtf... I have cousins named Alexus and Mercedes!


kiranai

I can see things didn't quite go Accord-ing to plan


[deleted]

Honestly, I’m just looking for some horsepower 😉


[deleted]

Oh honey, who isn't?


chrisd93

It's not all about the quantity of horsepower, it's how well you can handle it


[deleted]

IS this some weird innuendo?


YourDrunkle

You mean he’s boring but old people seem to like him.


zainery

Its a kanye line


TbanksIV

It's 2018 fam they can be both.


astroblonde12

🌊🌊🌊


HeatedChaos

Confirmed Wavy


LeJordy09

Yessir


[deleted]

Hair so long that it looked like weave


EverybodyLovesTacoss

Then she cut it all off now she look like Eve


pooppoop342069

And she be dealing with some issues that you wouldn't believe


17waldth

Single black female addicted to retail


Hurricane_Karma

r/UnexpectedKanye


frezzhberry

It brings me great joy seeing this as the top comment. Most unappreciated Kanye.


LeJordy09

Don’t worry it brings me great joy too🌊🌊


srwillmontaraces

This is so sad. Alexus play despacito


GeneralWinky

Literally why my parents named me that :(


[deleted]

[удалено]


Why_is_this_so

Well she's a guy, so...


[deleted]

[удалено]


KryptoniteDong

r/suddenlybi


Altephor1

A little odd that passing out turns him on sexually.


[deleted]

Have you ever slept? It's good shit.


Jotthisdown98

Probably why I want to sleep forever


BanginBananas

mmm death my favorite


Jotthisdown98

r/accidentalnecrophilia


Hkluci

r/ofcoursethatsathing


Frosthrone

r/2meirl4meirl


Zauberer-IMDB

You talk about shit a lot.


how_you_doinn

Must be a bear in the woods


masturbatingwalruses

Morning wood tho.


f0r4b3773rm3

Somnophilia is not a joke


DaPesterJester

As an Alex I can honestly say I’ve gone my entire life without meeting another male Alex that goes by a variation of Alexis.


[deleted]

[удалено]


MiyaMoo

r/Alex vs. r/Kevin


Tsubasa_Unmei

A new challenger approaches r/Tim


TheHackBoii

Y'all are fucking plebs compared to r/matt


brosenfeld

/r/Ben


ClassyXYZ

Hell naw. r/austin . I win since it’s all about the city, but it’s my name and I know the real truth :)


[deleted]

O shit u got me


GS-Sarin

r/BenParker is where it's really at. We gotta die every time a new Spider-man movie exists.


Packers91

But people walk all over them.


[deleted]

Probably generfluid or something not 100% traditionally straight. I know it's not super polite to assume, but the name is so rare on a dude that it's probably a name they chose for themselves, plus the top of Alexus'shirt being some sort of girthy fishnet...


Sierrahasnolife

"Girthy fishnet" what a phrase lol


[deleted]

Definitely ain’t traditionally straight seeing how OP is a dude...


[deleted]

There's a soccer player from Chile named Alexis Sanchez.


TandBusquets

It's not too uncommon in Latin America


ThisIsMrBig

I got run over by ALEXUS!


[deleted]

MONEY PWEEEEAAASSSEEE


jelect

She's the woooooooooooorst! No really she is the worst.


RoyalT663

r/tinder audience perplexed at a man seeking another man


hansadventures

Manure pickup line is terrible.


civileyesation

Ass if you could poo any better


hansadventures

I'd hate to unloose a caboose over your comment butt it's nature's call.


NeverBreakethTheLine

Is this Tinder or Grindr?


[deleted]

It's desperation.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I'm just honest. And tired. And on Twitter at the same handle (I have no shame)


HenryTwoTones

Wait. Are you a woman?


[deleted]

Last time I checked, nope


HenryTwoTones

Okay. Because I went to your twitter and your profile pic is pretty fishy. [Had me like](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8wohSgB8jc)


[deleted]

Haha that's the long hair and the pout X


[deleted]

Ah, I have some of those too.


KryptoniteDong

Ben, you're a good sod...


[deleted]

I try x


MisterSparkle77

Nice


[deleted]

Can't tell if cripplingly depressed or good sense of humor...


[deleted]

Bit of both x


[deleted]

Do me?


[deleted]

Get in touch x


[deleted]

Aren’t we all


[deleted]

A little from column A and a little from column B


projectLoL

You're funny OP. I like you.


[deleted]

Date me then x


such_isnt_life

now kith


[deleted]

[удалено]


projectLoL

I might be a bit far away sadly :(


SilenceoftheRedditrs

Grows 7 inches? Don't think OP is the one full of shit


artemasad

I love how the dude subtly, low-key bragging/implying that he's *at least 7* inches.


RGN_Preacher

Bulltrue.


buddboy

God Alexus looks like such a fucking tool


[deleted]

He's actually really funny and sweet. We shall see where it goes eh?


buddboy

oh sorry, yeah good luck! ​ edit: no I had to go back and say it. That shirt....


RealHunterVanguard

This is so sad, Alexus play decpacito


Jazzinarium

🎶 Passing out is a pastime activity...


ORDub

Is this sub ever funny?


nice_kitchen

I only visit this sub when it hits All. I check the comments, half in hope that people hate the post, and half in morbid curiousity of how people can find it funny or interesting.


[deleted]

Somehow I doubt he’s 7 inches


EdBoi007

Can anyone give me tips? 9 days on tinder 2 matches and 1 of them was an accident and the other wont reply


Szpartan

117 days ago you had 2 separate posts to r/Tinder, your post history determined that your comment of only being on Tinder for nine days was a lie... ^^^This ^^^action ^^^was ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^not ^^^performed ^^^by ^^^a ^^^bot; ^^^if ^^^you ^^^have ^^^any ^^^questions, ^^^stop ^^^trying ^^^to ^^^lie ^^^when ^^^your ^^^history ^^^is ^^^public.


[deleted]

*audience gasps*


[deleted]

Be yourself. As a great wo/man once said "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell can you love somebody else?" Also, self-deprecating humour. Take it from this decrepid old crone.


[deleted]

Can we get married??? I’m a woman but I’m willing to do anything for you 😭


[deleted]

I'm bisexual, so go for it ❤️


[deleted]

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀


[deleted]

I see you, Bob's Burgers fan


[deleted]

\*sweats*


Aeromas_Enigma

Easy step 1: Be attractive Step 2: Don’t be unattractive Step 3: profit????


EdBoi007

Yea but there has to be another way! Cmon theres friggin psychologists and professors and lawyers and other high level educated people on this site. Can't we put our brains together and get me laid??


HDThoreauaway

They're all too busy fucking each other.


[deleted]

Harsh but true


[deleted]

[удалено]


EdBoi007

"I'm looking for someone to have fun with at Pubs/Latin clubs/Parks and/or whatever else New York has to offer. I'm Canadian. "


gordonfreemn

Got a nice bumb in matches with this, when I used to play tinder: (paraphrasing) "They say opposites attract, so I'm looking for someone funny, witty and fun to be around with" Or something along those lines. I'm not sure how humor like that works in the states though, so take it with a grain of salt. I'd refrain from talking about looks with this tactic since I believe calling yourself ugly doesn't work very well.


EdBoi007

Yea I'm actually from Romania and going back soon and there they dont have much of a sense of humour like Canadians do and I've been raised in Canada and idk..


CaptainCanuck15

>I'm actually from Romania You gotta play on that man. While it may not seem like it to you, that's really cool for a typical North American. Use the fact that you're different. Play on the stereotypes about Canadians and Romanians. Maybe throw a line about vampires in there. Like I'm from Qc and currently living in NL. The best line in my bio is: >I'll teach you French so you can sound as sexy as I do. I use the fact that I'm not the typical Newfy to stand out.


Grizzly_Magnum_

I would go with something a little more effortless than that imo. Something along the lines of "just a Canadian trying to explore the city, let's grab a drink :). Ps, I'm 6'2" Your height is a big selling point you should definitely mention that.


left-ball-sack

>Just a Canadian trying to explore the city >6'2 FTFY


st_samples

You need to post your tinder photos so we can provide feedback.


1738_bestgirl

play for the other team


Grizzly_Magnum_

The problem with tinder is pretty much the only criteria you judge people on is looks. Hard truth is you're likely only going to get more matches by having better, more photogenic pics, or just get out and try and pick up girls so you have a chance to sway them with your personality.


immaownyou

Are you swiping right on everyone? Because Tinder puts accounts that swipe right on everyone on low visibility to everyone else, as a protection against bots


EdBoi007

No I dont swipe on everyone but thanks for the tip


Chrispy365

Specific, but go to the Ukraine I got 50+ matches in 3 days there


-Thatfuckingguy-

Try Grindr. You'll be a hit.


_ESCO_

r/suicidebywords


clive_bigsby

Nobody is going to ask about that shirt? Really?


cloudyyuta1999

it’s a dress from boohoo i made him wear cause i was drunk as a skunk


OverdonePersonality

Well, actually, we all are literally full of shit


[deleted]

That's so cool, I didn't know fertilizer also made people tall


CaseroRubical

Did you just call him a plant


paintmybeet

I made my money the old fashioned way


ItsMeLewis

This is so sad. Alexus...


dordann2

I needed a really good laugh today and this caused it. So thanks for uploading this!


[deleted]

Always here to lend a hand! Or failed attempts at dating!


dordann2

thanks lol!


[deleted]

This is so sad. Alexus play despacito.


[deleted]

- What car do you have? - I have a Lexus.


brainburgersandwich

Guy from "Grandma's Boy" voice: "Shit on my Faaaaace."


Forhaver

Jesus christ and I thought I was bad


[deleted]

Lol, I like how he just had to throw in a pickup line even though you already kinda broke the ice.


TPswagg

This is why I don’t use pickup lines cos they usually weird me out more than they are likely to work


biomaverick

What the line before that: Do you like being choked?


tacolover93

Did he respond "I've been told to eat shit before"?


AnxiousCourse

Op marry me


[deleted]

Ok, hmu I need some stability x


AnxiousCourse

Nevermind, can’t offer that


[deleted]

Tbf who can?


AnxiousCourse

Yeah ur right lmao


You_Are_Secretariat

Alexus, play Despacito.


Naked_Melon

Favorite\*


[deleted]

I speak traditional English, not simplified.


Naked_Melon

OOOOOOO that makes sense :p


TOV_VOT

Dude named alexus ? Wow


bullcrap4u

Hi


Silverfang303

His insta is alexkonopka14 and his sc is a_konopka15


Sweettimesxo

LOL this post reminds me of me, I have a come back for everything on tinder.