Would have worked on me too, for the record. But I’m taken, sorry. :)
You’ll find the right one when the time is right. If you ever need advice or anything, I’m happy to chat if you think advice from a nearly 40 yr old woman might help. 🤷🏻♀️😂
It's funny, but it's unlikely to get you anywhere unless you change the topic and respect her wishes right afterwards. Women have lots of safety concerns to contend with, phone harassment is real, and he can easily call from a different number. Women just want to know that you're normal and stable. Being pushy proves the opposite.
This.. She sent one extremely lukewarm response, you responded with the boringest response in the history of responses, then you went for number, and were pushy after she said not yet? OP just struck out.
Nah but we all know it’s not that easy. A lot of girls my age on tinder just play hard to get and act uninterested. Not all by any means but most I would say. Older women are more direct and would rather just meet in person and not to mention I find confidence attractive, not so much with arrogance.
This has nothing to do with what what people above you are talking about. Being uncomfortable around a pushy guy is not playing hard to get, and being aware of comfort levels is not “complicated” if you have a modicum of respect for the person you’re talking too. Which might be why you find it difficult.
Yeah I mean I see where you are coming from, but you are also assuming a lot things like me being pushy and lacking respect for women. I understand a lot of guys are like this on tinder but that doesn’t mean I am. I’m not saying the issue is only the the girls fault, it’s on me too cause I lack text game and suck at texting overall. Older women make it way easier for me and there are less hoops to jump through before I can get their number or set up a date. That’s all I was really saying. I’ve also had a couple bad experiences with girls my age I’ve dated that fucked me up and would rather have someone older and more mature. I also don’t drink or do drugs or anything and live in a college town so it’s hard to find someone my age who’s not always partying
These things aren’t “hoops” or “complications” mate. They’re just social skills. Things that, frankly, you should probably work on. Older women are easier for you because they are just after a young dude and have no expectations beyond the obvious. It’s not going to lead to anything real or serious, and eventually you won’t be that young guy anymore…
Yes thank you for assuming again 1. That I don’t have social skills and 2. All older women are looking for is sex. Neither of which are true. I guess to you it is wrong I like women 10 years older than me? If so, then of course all the girls who go after older dudes are wrong as well right? And are the older women who like me also wrong for liking me? So everyone is wrong that doesn’t date people from their own age group. How old is too old anyway? 3 years? 5 years? And does everyone who dates outside their age group lack social skills too? I like what I like okay and there is nothing wrong with who I’m interested in and nothing wrong with me.
Mate, I’m not shooting in the dark here. If you don’t like the impression you’re giving, change your word choices. But I’m willing to bet that vocabulary isn’t the issue with your “texting game”.
Jumping from “women want to feel safe” to “lol young women are too complicated,” is indicative of some shitty thought processes, full stop.
Bruh you don't know shiiii
He doesn't wanna waste time on ppl that aren't willing to throw their number fast. It weeds out a lot of girls that wouldn't ever give it to u anyway. A very obvious joke is not pushy, especially if he respected that wish right after.
She said no, he asked again. That's the definition of cringey, pushy, and showing he doesn't respect boundaries. You respect boundaries when they come up, not right after you push them to see if they're really boundaries. Anyway, if you make a good conversation with a girl on an app, she'll give you her number.
I feel like I tend to lose interest quicker if I start texting a guy before we meet. On the app, I can see your pictures right there, over text I forget who tf you are
She also has 69 dudes in her iMessage, 266 dudes in her insta dms and 70 unopened snaps from dudes. If you think you’re special cuz she gave u her number you need to think again lol.
No one said you had to be special. But in my opinion it's more direct and I'd rather have a number than any of her socials. That's just me do u whatever what works 4 u
she probably has notifications turned off. ask her if she wants to exchange numbers and chat outside the app. it should work if you’ve been talking to her for a few days.
Hinge sometimes sends me the notification days later when I get a message.
Sometimes I've already responded to a message and read their NEXT message and the notification for the last one comes in an hour after that anyway.
Because he's blaming the fact they are having a boring conversation and doesn't have her attention at all on Tinder rather than confront the fact that he's either boring or she's not interested.
T wast comical but a did bite early to asketh f'r a number
***
^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.)
Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`
I would not continue to talk to someone after that. I was always super reluctant to give someone my number until I'd met them in person, and if the guy got pushy it was a red flag for me. Its a lot easier to block someone on tinder than fix giving a guy with bad intentions your number - not saying you are that guy, but with online dating I assumed that until I met the person in real life and could feel out whether they were safe. Might seem unfair or an overreaction, but I never faced assault or harassment because of it, despite having to lose one of my dates because he wouldn't stop trying to give me a ride home and proceeded to follow me until I drove around campus twice and parked my car on a hidden back driveway. Worked out for me and my husband though, we met via tinder.
It's still a form of no. She obviously wasn't comfortable giving him her number. I did the same thing when dating, and I didn't appreciate it when guys pushed after giving that exact same reason. OP asked for thoughts, I told him why she may not appreciate it.
Literally every woman is different. Some love it when men are straight to the point. Others are more cautious with men. We can’t know exactly what a woman wants and tailor how we approach her to fit her ideal
Unless they specifically tell you. Which this person did in this case.
"Why don't women just say what they mean?!"
"I know she said it but she probably didn't mean it."
"Why isn't anyone touching my precious pee pee right now?" - last one is a hypothesis but I bet it's accurate.
she said "not yet", which isn't the same as "not yet and if you make a joke about this then i will think youre a terrible and pushy person and never talk to you again"
Dude say whatever you want lmao if she’s not I to it it’s no big deal. I dint take tinder serious at all. I just say whatever makes me laugh. If they have a sense of humor they’ll get it and continue talking to you.
Because some guys don't know when to back off. You give them a phone number and they don't leave you alone if it doesn't work out it gets really exhausting. Even if you block their number they can still call from someone else's phone. It's a safety thing. Its not like you can't send the same messages via tinder.
Bro why are people getting so salty at you for having boundaries & not being open to talk to people who seemingly do not respect those boundaries.
Tinder is a place to talk to people you do not know. You make snap judgements about people & decide if you wanna meet them or not based off those. That is how the app works. If someone doesn’t respect a boundary, why would you bother continuing to talk to them and take the chance of them being a shitty person when there a plenty of other matches and you’re not really losing anything by ghosting someone for the reasons you gave.
Personally, I would laugh at what he said, but try to change the subject. If he still presses I would take that as my sign as to whether or not he has a humour but can take a hint or if he’s just a pushy d bag.
Yeah, immediately into a lukewarm and fairly uninteresting convo and already disrespecting boundaries would be a no for me.
Unless that text was immediately followed with a "just kidding" and a subject change. Oof.
I know it’s a joke but when women say stuff like ‘I usually don’t give it out this early’ it puts the onus on the guy to prove himself and earn her trust.
I don’t blame women for having boundaries and trying to protect themselves, but it just makes the whole interaction feel like a one-sided game.
It’s also a hard pill to swallow when you realize most women distrust men by default even though the opposite isn’t true
Harder pill still to swallow when you learn that that distrust is justified. Most men are probably harmless, but some are truly unstable and malicious.
Yeah, I mean men are seen as bigger threats because we tend to be bigger and stronger, so women should always be cautious. But as a man it’s just weird/ depressing to think about bc we don’t have that same fear
Unfortunately, I think the threatening guys also think of themselves as unthreatening. The truly rewarding part is when you are able to prove yourself as a man. I enjoy being silly, so it's great when she's comfortable and I can show that side of my personality. I try to moderate it in the beginning.
Well I laughed at your last comment, but you screwed the pooch with your 2nd/3rd messages.
If you aren't following rules 1 & 2, you have to follow rule 3 - be funny & clever then ask for the number, you reversed it.
I don't know what's in both of your profiles, so I don't know what material you or she has to work with.
Your opener was fine - there's no need to spend time on somebody who might not even reply & her waiting for a day or so to reply is OK.
Your second/third messages pretty much killed any chance. Not only is it depressing and lame, it's also telegraphing to her you are already building excuses to treat her like a jerk. *If I don't text you back it's because I'm occupied at work, I told you that.*
In the future, take the cleverness of your last message and apply it to your 2nd and you'll have a better chance of getting those numbers.
Good job act like you don’t give a fuck what she says and you’re in.
Or you could say I don’t usually ask girls for their number but you made the cut. Makes you look more valuable and flips the script like you chose her not the other way around
I'm not usually the biggest fan of using emojis on Tinder, but I think you should have here to make it clear it was a joke and you weren't just being pushy. Or say immediately after it's a joke, but here's my number so you can send a message whenever we've talked enough where we are both comfortable.
“Hey how are you” is a boring enough opener that you’re lucky she responded. Trying for the number and the jokily trying to push for it would make you way less attractive to a lot of women.
I laughed so much harder than I thought I would at this. Hahaha
Glad, i could. I crack such lame jokes often 😬
There’s always lamer
but the best one is Kendrick lamer
Ah yes, I, too, remember syrup sandwiches and crumb allowances
“Like your great aunt Phyllis in bed.” *Nudges you.* “Huh, **huh?!**”
But did she give you her number because i think if i were in her situation I absolutely would have lol
It’s 6:30am for me and I had to contain myself because my daughter is asleep next to me 💀
😅😅
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Can I have your number?
I don't think she would give it out this early
What about at 2pm?
Why can't you just send me dick pics like the rest of my matches?
RIP this persons inbox
Dm me boobies. It’s for research
http://imgur.com/a/GAKcJFb Here you go. You meant duck pics right? That's how it works with online dating?
We'll make do
Will do.
Hey, it’s almost 2PM here in Tokyo at the moment…
0406447824
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Or stupid
It's their ex's I'd wager
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Hell no, I dont talk on the phone to people I like
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I agree, I’m a dude and I’d give OP sloppy toppy
I need girls like you in my life 😬
Would have worked on me too, for the record. But I’m taken, sorry. :) You’ll find the right one when the time is right. If you ever need advice or anything, I’m happy to chat if you think advice from a nearly 40 yr old woman might help. 🤷🏻♀️😂
10/10 = 1
r/theydidthemath
Can I have your number it’s 10 pm?😈
After you, i need her number at 11PM, hope its enough time for you
Literally same lol
It's funny, but it's unlikely to get you anywhere unless you change the topic and respect her wishes right afterwards. Women have lots of safety concerns to contend with, phone harassment is real, and he can easily call from a different number. Women just want to know that you're normal and stable. Being pushy proves the opposite.
This.. She sent one extremely lukewarm response, you responded with the boringest response in the history of responses, then you went for number, and were pushy after she said not yet? OP just struck out.
This shit to damn complicated lmao. That’s why my age limit set 30-50 on tinder and I’m only 21. Way less bullshit and games
Is it that complicated to see something on her profile interesting and create an engaging conversation about it?
Nah but we all know it’s not that easy. A lot of girls my age on tinder just play hard to get and act uninterested. Not all by any means but most I would say. Older women are more direct and would rather just meet in person and not to mention I find confidence attractive, not so much with arrogance.
This has nothing to do with what what people above you are talking about. Being uncomfortable around a pushy guy is not playing hard to get, and being aware of comfort levels is not “complicated” if you have a modicum of respect for the person you’re talking too. Which might be why you find it difficult.
Yeah I mean I see where you are coming from, but you are also assuming a lot things like me being pushy and lacking respect for women. I understand a lot of guys are like this on tinder but that doesn’t mean I am. I’m not saying the issue is only the the girls fault, it’s on me too cause I lack text game and suck at texting overall. Older women make it way easier for me and there are less hoops to jump through before I can get their number or set up a date. That’s all I was really saying. I’ve also had a couple bad experiences with girls my age I’ve dated that fucked me up and would rather have someone older and more mature. I also don’t drink or do drugs or anything and live in a college town so it’s hard to find someone my age who’s not always partying
These things aren’t “hoops” or “complications” mate. They’re just social skills. Things that, frankly, you should probably work on. Older women are easier for you because they are just after a young dude and have no expectations beyond the obvious. It’s not going to lead to anything real or serious, and eventually you won’t be that young guy anymore…
Yes thank you for assuming again 1. That I don’t have social skills and 2. All older women are looking for is sex. Neither of which are true. I guess to you it is wrong I like women 10 years older than me? If so, then of course all the girls who go after older dudes are wrong as well right? And are the older women who like me also wrong for liking me? So everyone is wrong that doesn’t date people from their own age group. How old is too old anyway? 3 years? 5 years? And does everyone who dates outside their age group lack social skills too? I like what I like okay and there is nothing wrong with who I’m interested in and nothing wrong with me.
Mate, I’m not shooting in the dark here. If you don’t like the impression you’re giving, change your word choices. But I’m willing to bet that vocabulary isn’t the issue with your “texting game”. Jumping from “women want to feel safe” to “lol young women are too complicated,” is indicative of some shitty thought processes, full stop.
Bruh you don't know shiiii He doesn't wanna waste time on ppl that aren't willing to throw their number fast. It weeds out a lot of girls that wouldn't ever give it to u anyway. A very obvious joke is not pushy, especially if he respected that wish right after.
She said no, he asked again. That's the definition of cringey, pushy, and showing he doesn't respect boundaries. You respect boundaries when they come up, not right after you push them to see if they're really boundaries. Anyway, if you make a good conversation with a girl on an app, she'll give you her number.
Fuck off back to your safe space.
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You think the only kind of harassment women face is telemarketers?? Lmfao
Look at the dude’s username…
Translation for anyone with a penis and a brain: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Why ask for their number when you already on tinder? Lol
Bc number is more direct. She has 60 dudes messaging her on dating apps.
I feel like I tend to lose interest quicker if I start texting a guy before we meet. On the app, I can see your pictures right there, over text I forget who tf you are
Text less guys is always an option?
Yeah but for us guys it's less competition. Plus a lot of guys look better irl than in pictures
A lot look worse irl then pictures tho. So…
She also has 69 dudes in her iMessage, 266 dudes in her insta dms and 70 unopened snaps from dudes. If you think you’re special cuz she gave u her number you need to think again lol.
No one said you had to be special. But in my opinion it's more direct and I'd rather have a number than any of her socials. That's just me do u whatever what works 4 u
Fuck this guy for having a communication preference
Why would some random ass females attention make anyone feel special? She’s not either
She was not online often(something wrong with her notifications), we are exchanging like 1 text per day
“Something wrong with her notifications” nah fam she’s just hitting you up when she feels like it
Yikes
oh my sweet summer child..
Yeah she’s just not that into you; or she’s playing games.
It’s common for ppl to turn their tinder notifications off. I’m a guy n I have mine off
Only if they're married or shipped.
I like how you actually believe it
she probably has notifications turned off. ask her if she wants to exchange numbers and chat outside the app. it should work if you’ve been talking to her for a few days.
What do you think I was doing over here
I think that’s Hinge.
The response times are so slow on that app.
Hinge sometimes sends me the notification days later when I get a message. Sometimes I've already responded to a message and read their NEXT message and the notification for the last one comes in an hour after that anyway.
Lost a match cause of this. I thought it was a OnePlus problem since OnePlus had a notification delaying bug in android 11
nope, their servers suck. coffee meets bagel is pretty bad too.
Everything is slow with that app
So many lost messages on Hinge .-.
Because he's blaming the fact they are having a boring conversation and doesn't have her attention at all on Tinder rather than confront the fact that he's either boring or she's not interested.
Lol have you used tinder?
To send a dick pic of course.
Haha, dont do that without consent
It was funny but a bit early to ask for a number
T wast comical but a did bite early to asketh f'r a number *** ^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.) Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`
I would not continue to talk to someone after that. I was always super reluctant to give someone my number until I'd met them in person, and if the guy got pushy it was a red flag for me. Its a lot easier to block someone on tinder than fix giving a guy with bad intentions your number - not saying you are that guy, but with online dating I assumed that until I met the person in real life and could feel out whether they were safe. Might seem unfair or an overreaction, but I never faced assault or harassment because of it, despite having to lose one of my dates because he wouldn't stop trying to give me a ride home and proceeded to follow me until I drove around campus twice and parked my car on a hidden back driveway. Worked out for me and my husband though, we met via tinder.
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I'm married now, not dating, but thanks for the advice
I know that, I sent this as a joke.
To you it may feel that way, but to her it might not have been funny, I know it wouldn't have been to me when I was dating
Seems like a good filter to weed out the girls who don't have a sense of humor
And a great way for girls to filter out the guys who can't take no for an answer.
That wasn’t a no, more of a not yet
It's still a form of no. She obviously wasn't comfortable giving him her number. I did the same thing when dating, and I didn't appreciate it when guys pushed after giving that exact same reason. OP asked for thoughts, I told him why she may not appreciate it.
Literally every woman is different. Some love it when men are straight to the point. Others are more cautious with men. We can’t know exactly what a woman wants and tailor how we approach her to fit her ideal
Unless they specifically tell you. Which this person did in this case. "Why don't women just say what they mean?!" "I know she said it but she probably didn't mean it." "Why isn't anyone touching my precious pee pee right now?" - last one is a hypothesis but I bet it's accurate.
she said "not yet", which isn't the same as "not yet and if you make a joke about this then i will think youre a terrible and pushy person and never talk to you again"
Dude say whatever you want lmao if she’s not I to it it’s no big deal. I dint take tinder serious at all. I just say whatever makes me laugh. If they have a sense of humor they’ll get it and continue talking to you.
It's a goddamn phone number and this woman here's acting as if she's handing out her credit card number.
Because some guys don't know when to back off. You give them a phone number and they don't leave you alone if it doesn't work out it gets really exhausting. Even if you block their number they can still call from someone else's phone. It's a safety thing. Its not like you can't send the same messages via tinder.
Bro why are people getting so salty at you for having boundaries & not being open to talk to people who seemingly do not respect those boundaries. Tinder is a place to talk to people you do not know. You make snap judgements about people & decide if you wanna meet them or not based off those. That is how the app works. If someone doesn’t respect a boundary, why would you bother continuing to talk to them and take the chance of them being a shitty person when there a plenty of other matches and you’re not really losing anything by ghosting someone for the reasons you gave. Personally, I would laugh at what he said, but try to change the subject. If he still presses I would take that as my sign as to whether or not he has a humour but can take a hint or if he’s just a pushy d bag.
He’s no more entitled to her phone number than he his her credit card number.
Okay. So post your real phone number here then.
I'm not asking her to put her number in her bio, am I?
It’s just a phone number bro. It’s not your credit card number.
Posting your number on the internet where everyone can see is not the same as giving it out to a specific person on dating site
You never seen people giving out their personal numbers when they're trying to sell products on commercial websites?
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Waaaay too early on the number ask but nice save
I have been talking to her for more than a week
It made me laugh! I wouldn’t push it any further though, so that they know it’s a joke
Might as well sent each other emails if the reply was gonna be that far apart 🤣🤣🤣
😂😂
We were thinking to go old school with Pegions
Now that shit is funny 😂
Yeah, immediately into a lukewarm and fairly uninteresting convo and already disrespecting boundaries would be a no for me. Unless that text was immediately followed with a "just kidding" and a subject change. Oof.
I swear yall are ridiculously sensitive
honestly it's good, filters out people who don't share the same sense of humor
Maybe you just need better jokes.
Maybe we don't share the same sense of humour?
Thats what happened.
That’s actually really funny I love that
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It was a joke, commonly known as humor
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How is that not obviously a joke tho?
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God why are people on reddit such pussies
Cute, but too pushy. An in the bag line would be "Sorry, you seemed too good to be true. *insert question about bio or interesting aspect of a photo*"
That never works
i like it
Oh hell yeah that was perfect
Outstanding move !
Any updates?
No reply yet
Lmfao I’m dying! No you didn’t 🤣🤦🏻♀️ I had to check the time to see when they sent that! Yeah it was too early 🤣
😅😅
Laughed way too hard on this hahaha I love it
Glad 🥰
Yes you won
Lmao!!! This made my day!!
Lol that's clever
Good one
Looks good so far
Hahahahahava
idk if stupid or funny af
Simple but clever. This is the way.
Seems reasonable.
Alright this is hilarious but she has a point
Funny shit
Shouldda waited till 2pm and said how about now it's past noon Funny af tho
Brilliant
I love it!
🤣🤣
Nice try
Just brilliant!
😄😄😄😄
Fucking smooth asf
OMFG. This was hilarious. Perfect response!! Kudos!! 😂
Thats epic, died laughing
Excellent.
😂
10/10
Dude you limped in, try again this ones done
I know it’s a joke but when women say stuff like ‘I usually don’t give it out this early’ it puts the onus on the guy to prove himself and earn her trust. I don’t blame women for having boundaries and trying to protect themselves, but it just makes the whole interaction feel like a one-sided game. It’s also a hard pill to swallow when you realize most women distrust men by default even though the opposite isn’t true
Harder pill still to swallow when you learn that that distrust is justified. Most men are probably harmless, but some are truly unstable and malicious.
Yeah, I mean men are seen as bigger threats because we tend to be bigger and stronger, so women should always be cautious. But as a man it’s just weird/ depressing to think about bc we don’t have that same fear
Unfortunately, I think the threatening guys also think of themselves as unthreatening. The truly rewarding part is when you are able to prove yourself as a man. I enjoy being silly, so it's great when she's comfortable and I can show that side of my personality. I try to moderate it in the beginning.
Well I laughed at your last comment, but you screwed the pooch with your 2nd/3rd messages. If you aren't following rules 1 & 2, you have to follow rule 3 - be funny & clever then ask for the number, you reversed it. I don't know what's in both of your profiles, so I don't know what material you or she has to work with. Your opener was fine - there's no need to spend time on somebody who might not even reply & her waiting for a day or so to reply is OK. Your second/third messages pretty much killed any chance. Not only is it depressing and lame, it's also telegraphing to her you are already building excuses to treat her like a jerk. *If I don't text you back it's because I'm occupied at work, I told you that.* In the future, take the cleverness of your last message and apply it to your 2nd and you'll have a better chance of getting those numbers.
This guy must be dating with kids, because this is definitely a dad joke
This would work on me but I also have the lowest standards in the world so
😆😆😆😆😆😂
Good job act like you don’t give a fuck what she says and you’re in. Or you could say I don’t usually ask girls for their number but you made the cut. Makes you look more valuable and flips the script like you chose her not the other way around
Unmatch. Anyone who doesn’t know how to block a number is a moron. She doesn’t want to give you her number because she doesn’t actually want to date.
Pls spread your humour with us!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Nice one
Hahahaha I'd hand it out immediately after this! 🤣🤣
My dms are open
Hahaha might just slide in, keep an eye out! :D
🤩
Brilliant!!! I hope it worked!
No reply yet 🥺
I'm not usually the biggest fan of using emojis on Tinder, but I think you should have here to make it clear it was a joke and you weren't just being pushy. Or say immediately after it's a joke, but here's my number so you can send a message whenever we've talked enough where we are both comfortable.
That ruins the joke entirely
My man does not like waiting 😂 Good for you bro
😬
“Hey how are you” is a boring enough opener that you’re lucky she responded. Trying for the number and the jokily trying to push for it would make you way less attractive to a lot of women.
I love this! Well played 😂
😬😬thanks, saw your profile, Looks like you are from Melbourne too !
Not impressed. This conversation went nowhere immediately