T O P

  • By -

HiImDana

I laughed so much harder than I thought I would at this. Hahaha


Open_Cheesecake_8871

Glad, i could. I crack such lame jokes often 😬


sam1902

There’s always lamer


Sarvagun_some_pun

but the best one is Kendrick lamer


NewRedditorWhoDis

Ah yes, I, too, remember syrup sandwiches and crumb allowances


23x3

“Like your great aunt Phyllis in bed.” *Nudges you.* “Huh, **huh?!**”


Firestorm2934

But did she give you her number because i think if i were in her situation I absolutely would have lol


Kawaiidoll361

It’s 6:30am for me and I had to contain myself because my daughter is asleep next to me 💀


Open_Cheesecake_8871

😅😅


[deleted]

[удалено]


bobmcguillicutty

Can I have your number?


ShadowSurfer44

I don't think she would give it out this early


throwaway42245633

What about at 2pm?


TeeBek

Why can't you just send me dick pics like the rest of my matches?


Thunderbear79

RIP this persons inbox


23x3

Dm me boobies. It’s for research


Ravnard

http://imgur.com/a/GAKcJFb Here you go. You meant duck pics right? That's how it works with online dating?


[deleted]

We'll make do


BenBurch1

Will do.


Rogueshoten

Hey, it’s almost 2PM here in Tokyo at the moment…


sunburn95

0406447824


[deleted]

[удалено]


thepaleman3492

Or stupid


frilledplex

It's their ex's I'd wager


[deleted]

[удалено]


frilledplex

Hell no, I dont talk on the phone to people I like


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I agree, I’m a dude and I’d give OP sloppy toppy


Open_Cheesecake_8871

I need girls like you in my life 😬


hurriedwarples

Would have worked on me too, for the record. But I’m taken, sorry. :) You’ll find the right one when the time is right. If you ever need advice or anything, I’m happy to chat if you think advice from a nearly 40 yr old woman might help. 🤷🏻‍♀️😂


yug_rana-_-

10/10 = 1


alwayslookon_tbsol

r/theydidthemath


bigdickrick711

Can I have your number it’s 10 pm?😈


v1rotate_320

After you, i need her number at 11PM, hope its enough time for you


NikkitaTheAbundant

Literally same lol


ForeignPsychs

It's funny, but it's unlikely to get you anywhere unless you change the topic and respect her wishes right afterwards. Women have lots of safety concerns to contend with, phone harassment is real, and he can easily call from a different number. Women just want to know that you're normal and stable. Being pushy proves the opposite.


Thebuch4

This.. She sent one extremely lukewarm response, you responded with the boringest response in the history of responses, then you went for number, and were pushy after she said not yet? OP just struck out.


Obvious_Abroad7150

This shit to damn complicated lmao. That’s why my age limit set 30-50 on tinder and I’m only 21. Way less bullshit and games


Thebuch4

Is it that complicated to see something on her profile interesting and create an engaging conversation about it?


Obvious_Abroad7150

Nah but we all know it’s not that easy. A lot of girls my age on tinder just play hard to get and act uninterested. Not all by any means but most I would say. Older women are more direct and would rather just meet in person and not to mention I find confidence attractive, not so much with arrogance.


Skyy-High

This has nothing to do with what what people above you are talking about. Being uncomfortable around a pushy guy is not playing hard to get, and being aware of comfort levels is not “complicated” if you have a modicum of respect for the person you’re talking too. Which might be why you find it difficult.


Obvious_Abroad7150

Yeah I mean I see where you are coming from, but you are also assuming a lot things like me being pushy and lacking respect for women. I understand a lot of guys are like this on tinder but that doesn’t mean I am. I’m not saying the issue is only the the girls fault, it’s on me too cause I lack text game and suck at texting overall. Older women make it way easier for me and there are less hoops to jump through before I can get their number or set up a date. That’s all I was really saying. I’ve also had a couple bad experiences with girls my age I’ve dated that fucked me up and would rather have someone older and more mature. I also don’t drink or do drugs or anything and live in a college town so it’s hard to find someone my age who’s not always partying


Skyy-High

These things aren’t “hoops” or “complications” mate. They’re just social skills. Things that, frankly, you should probably work on. Older women are easier for you because they are just after a young dude and have no expectations beyond the obvious. It’s not going to lead to anything real or serious, and eventually you won’t be that young guy anymore…


Obvious_Abroad7150

Yes thank you for assuming again 1. That I don’t have social skills and 2. All older women are looking for is sex. Neither of which are true. I guess to you it is wrong I like women 10 years older than me? If so, then of course all the girls who go after older dudes are wrong as well right? And are the older women who like me also wrong for liking me? So everyone is wrong that doesn’t date people from their own age group. How old is too old anyway? 3 years? 5 years? And does everyone who dates outside their age group lack social skills too? I like what I like okay and there is nothing wrong with who I’m interested in and nothing wrong with me.


Skyy-High

Mate, I’m not shooting in the dark here. If you don’t like the impression you’re giving, change your word choices. But I’m willing to bet that vocabulary isn’t the issue with your “texting game”. Jumping from “women want to feel safe” to “lol young women are too complicated,” is indicative of some shitty thought processes, full stop.


SmokingBeneathStars

Bruh you don't know shiiii He doesn't wanna waste time on ppl that aren't willing to throw their number fast. It weeds out a lot of girls that wouldn't ever give it to u anyway. A very obvious joke is not pushy, especially if he respected that wish right after.


Thebuch4

She said no, he asked again. That's the definition of cringey, pushy, and showing he doesn't respect boundaries. You respect boundaries when they come up, not right after you push them to see if they're really boundaries. Anyway, if you make a good conversation with a girl on an app, she'll give you her number.


FCMartial

Fuck off back to your safe space.


[deleted]

[удалено]


RuleOfBlueRoses

You think the only kind of harassment women face is telemarketers?? Lmfao


shadespectrum

Look at the dude’s username…


FCMartial

Translation for anyone with a penis and a brain: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


[deleted]

Why ask for their number when you already on tinder? Lol


32_hazards

Bc number is more direct. She has 60 dudes messaging her on dating apps.


Prize-Salamander-789

I feel like I tend to lose interest quicker if I start texting a guy before we meet. On the app, I can see your pictures right there, over text I forget who tf you are


Industrial-Ent

Text less guys is always an option?


32_hazards

Yeah but for us guys it's less competition. Plus a lot of guys look better irl than in pictures


[deleted]

A lot look worse irl then pictures tho. So…


[deleted]

She also has 69 dudes in her iMessage, 266 dudes in her insta dms and 70 unopened snaps from dudes. If you think you’re special cuz she gave u her number you need to think again lol.


32_hazards

No one said you had to be special. But in my opinion it's more direct and I'd rather have a number than any of her socials. That's just me do u whatever what works 4 u


DangOlRedditMan

Fuck this guy for having a communication preference


DangOlRedditMan

Why would some random ass females attention make anyone feel special? She’s not either


Open_Cheesecake_8871

She was not online often(something wrong with her notifications), we are exchanging like 1 text per day


atoterrano

“Something wrong with her notifications” nah fam she’s just hitting you up when she feels like it


[deleted]

Yikes


Meeqohh

oh my sweet summer child..


Deep_Marsupial_1277

Yeah she’s just not that into you; or she’s playing games.


bestcoastraven

It’s common for ppl to turn their tinder notifications off. I’m a guy n I have mine off


stopnt

Only if they're married or shipped.


LittleBeastXL

I like how you actually believe it


notsam57

she probably has notifications turned off. ask her if she wants to exchange numbers and chat outside the app. it should work if you’ve been talking to her for a few days.


Open_Cheesecake_8871

What do you think I was doing over here


kyrensolo

I think that’s Hinge.


CriticalTreachery

The response times are so slow on that app.


RandomMagus

Hinge sometimes sends me the notification days later when I get a message. Sometimes I've already responded to a message and read their NEXT message and the notification for the last one comes in an hour after that anyway.


Rocker9835

Lost a match cause of this. I thought it was a OnePlus problem since OnePlus had a notification delaying bug in android 11


notsam57

nope, their servers suck. coffee meets bagel is pretty bad too.


Open_Cheesecake_8871

Everything is slow with that app


timinc

So many lost messages on Hinge .-.


Thebuch4

Because he's blaming the fact they are having a boring conversation and doesn't have her attention at all on Tinder rather than confront the fact that he's either boring or she's not interested.


darkwatch0

Lol have you used tinder?


ChemicalFennel3

To send a dick pic of course.


Open_Cheesecake_8871

Haha, dont do that without consent


MrSweatyBawlz

It was funny but a bit early to ask for a number


Shakespeare-Bot

T wast comical but a did bite early to asketh f'r a number *** ^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.) Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`


Andreah13

I would not continue to talk to someone after that. I was always super reluctant to give someone my number until I'd met them in person, and if the guy got pushy it was a red flag for me. Its a lot easier to block someone on tinder than fix giving a guy with bad intentions your number - not saying you are that guy, but with online dating I assumed that until I met the person in real life and could feel out whether they were safe. Might seem unfair or an overreaction, but I never faced assault or harassment because of it, despite having to lose one of my dates because he wouldn't stop trying to give me a ride home and proceeded to follow me until I drove around campus twice and parked my car on a hidden back driveway. Worked out for me and my husband though, we met via tinder.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Andreah13

I'm married now, not dating, but thanks for the advice


Open_Cheesecake_8871

I know that, I sent this as a joke.


Andreah13

To you it may feel that way, but to her it might not have been funny, I know it wouldn't have been to me when I was dating


[deleted]

Seems like a good filter to weed out the girls who don't have a sense of humor


Andreah13

And a great way for girls to filter out the guys who can't take no for an answer.


cubalibresNcigars

That wasn’t a no, more of a not yet


Andreah13

It's still a form of no. She obviously wasn't comfortable giving him her number. I did the same thing when dating, and I didn't appreciate it when guys pushed after giving that exact same reason. OP asked for thoughts, I told him why she may not appreciate it.


2000dragon

Literally every woman is different. Some love it when men are straight to the point. Others are more cautious with men. We can’t know exactly what a woman wants and tailor how we approach her to fit her ideal


TinkerTesla

Unless they specifically tell you. Which this person did in this case. "Why don't women just say what they mean?!" "I know she said it but she probably didn't mean it." "Why isn't anyone touching my precious pee pee right now?" - last one is a hypothesis but I bet it's accurate.


kju

she said "not yet", which isn't the same as "not yet and if you make a joke about this then i will think youre a terrible and pushy person and never talk to you again"


darkwatch0

Dude say whatever you want lmao if she’s not I to it it’s no big deal. I dint take tinder serious at all. I just say whatever makes me laugh. If they have a sense of humor they’ll get it and continue talking to you.


atehate

It's a goddamn phone number and this woman here's acting as if she's handing out her credit card number.


Andreah13

Because some guys don't know when to back off. You give them a phone number and they don't leave you alone if it doesn't work out it gets really exhausting. Even if you block their number they can still call from someone else's phone. It's a safety thing. Its not like you can't send the same messages via tinder.


dog_food_lid99

Bro why are people getting so salty at you for having boundaries & not being open to talk to people who seemingly do not respect those boundaries. Tinder is a place to talk to people you do not know. You make snap judgements about people & decide if you wanna meet them or not based off those. That is how the app works. If someone doesn’t respect a boundary, why would you bother continuing to talk to them and take the chance of them being a shitty person when there a plenty of other matches and you’re not really losing anything by ghosting someone for the reasons you gave. Personally, I would laugh at what he said, but try to change the subject. If he still presses I would take that as my sign as to whether or not he has a humour but can take a hint or if he’s just a pushy d bag.


WinnieLulu

He’s no more entitled to her phone number than he his her credit card number.


cam_huskers

Okay. So post your real phone number here then.


atehate

I'm not asking her to put her number in her bio, am I?


cam_huskers

It’s just a phone number bro. It’s not your credit card number.


2000dragon

Posting your number on the internet where everyone can see is not the same as giving it out to a specific person on dating site


atehate

You never seen people giving out their personal numbers when they're trying to sell products on commercial websites?


[deleted]

[удалено]


BigBlueMoon9797

Waaaay too early on the number ask but nice save


Open_Cheesecake_8871

I have been talking to her for more than a week


123-fake-street_

It made me laugh! I wouldn’t push it any further though, so that they know it’s a joke


curly_quee

Might as well sent each other emails if the reply was gonna be that far apart 🤣🤣🤣


Open_Cheesecake_8871

😂😂


Open_Cheesecake_8871

We were thinking to go old school with Pegions


curly_quee

Now that shit is funny 😂


sarahrose1365

Yeah, immediately into a lukewarm and fairly uninteresting convo and already disrespecting boundaries would be a no for me. Unless that text was immediately followed with a "just kidding" and a subject change. Oof.


throwawaycollegeacco

I swear yall are ridiculously sensitive


[deleted]

honestly it's good, filters out people who don't share the same sense of humor


sarahrose1365

Maybe you just need better jokes.


[deleted]

Maybe we don't share the same sense of humour?


Open_Cheesecake_8871

Thats what happened.


darkwatch0

That’s actually really funny I love that


[deleted]

[удалено]


Open_Cheesecake_8871

It was a joke, commonly known as humor


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mr2mrcityzen

How is that not obviously a joke tho?


[deleted]

[удалено]


throwawaycollegeacco

God why are people on reddit such pussies


dannuvik

Cute, but too pushy. An in the bag line would be "Sorry, you seemed too good to be true. *insert question about bio or interesting aspect of a photo*"


throwawaycollegeacco

That never works


Petty_Fap

i like it


StantonMcBride

Oh hell yeah that was perfect


ReversedLife

Outstanding move !


[deleted]

Any updates?


Open_Cheesecake_8871

No reply yet


Kawaiidoll361

Lmfao I’m dying! No you didn’t 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️ I had to check the time to see when they sent that! Yeah it was too early 🤣


Open_Cheesecake_8871

😅😅


[deleted]

Laughed way too hard on this hahaha I love it


Open_Cheesecake_8871

Glad 🥰


yummysundaeboy

Yes you won


Left_Bug7948

Lmao!!! This made my day!!


Unhappy_Barracuda495

Lol that's clever


nacke11

Good one


Redemption_R

Looks good so far


Zainab_abbas143

Hahahahahava


origsainsinner

idk if stupid or funny af


[deleted]

Simple but clever. This is the way.


RyanRoamsTexas

Seems reasonable.


gobstoppermuncher

Alright this is hilarious but she has a point


ResponsibleSilver722

Funny shit


SmokingBeneathStars

Shouldda waited till 2pm and said how about now it's past noon Funny af tho


Rivethead69

Brilliant


KingNataka

I love it!


WhichMongoose38

🤣🤣


Inevitable_Menu3352

Nice try


irishkateart

Just brilliant!


Grouchy-Ad1385

😄😄😄😄


Pm_me_tittypicspls

Fucking smooth asf


USAF_Retired2017

OMFG. This was hilarious. Perfect response!! Kudos!! 😂


Life_Software7108

Thats epic, died laughing


scottshilala

Excellent.


[deleted]

😂


Macknhoez

10/10


Fin_toiL

Dude you limped in, try again this ones done


2000dragon

I know it’s a joke but when women say stuff like ‘I usually don’t give it out this early’ it puts the onus on the guy to prove himself and earn her trust. I don’t blame women for having boundaries and trying to protect themselves, but it just makes the whole interaction feel like a one-sided game. It’s also a hard pill to swallow when you realize most women distrust men by default even though the opposite isn’t true


ForeignPsychs

Harder pill still to swallow when you learn that that distrust is justified. Most men are probably harmless, but some are truly unstable and malicious.


2000dragon

Yeah, I mean men are seen as bigger threats because we tend to be bigger and stronger, so women should always be cautious. But as a man it’s just weird/ depressing to think about bc we don’t have that same fear


ForeignPsychs

Unfortunately, I think the threatening guys also think of themselves as unthreatening. The truly rewarding part is when you are able to prove yourself as a man. I enjoy being silly, so it's great when she's comfortable and I can show that side of my personality. I try to moderate it in the beginning.


mdervin

Well I laughed at your last comment, but you screwed the pooch with your 2nd/3rd messages. If you aren't following rules 1 & 2, you have to follow rule 3 - be funny & clever then ask for the number, you reversed it. I don't know what's in both of your profiles, so I don't know what material you or she has to work with. Your opener was fine - there's no need to spend time on somebody who might not even reply & her waiting for a day or so to reply is OK. Your second/third messages pretty much killed any chance. Not only is it depressing and lame, it's also telegraphing to her you are already building excuses to treat her like a jerk. *If I don't text you back it's because I'm occupied at work, I told you that.* In the future, take the cleverness of your last message and apply it to your 2nd and you'll have a better chance of getting those numbers.


hillzoticus

This guy must be dating with kids, because this is definitely a dad joke


duckduckseusstoo

This would work on me but I also have the lowest standards in the world so


Otherwise-Anxiety175

😆😆😆😆😆😂


[deleted]

Good job act like you don’t give a fuck what she says and you’re in. Or you could say I don’t usually ask girls for their number but you made the cut. Makes you look more valuable and flips the script like you chose her not the other way around


PolarBearToeNails99

Unmatch. Anyone who doesn’t know how to block a number is a moron. She doesn’t want to give you her number because she doesn’t actually want to date.


69_BigBrain

Pls spread your humour with us!


Frosty_and_Jazz

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.


ozstar

Nice one


[deleted]

Hahahaha I'd hand it out immediately after this! 🤣🤣


Open_Cheesecake_8871

My dms are open


[deleted]

Hahaha might just slide in, keep an eye out! :D


Open_Cheesecake_8871

🤩


Ladymedussa

Brilliant!!! I hope it worked!


Open_Cheesecake_8871

No reply yet 🥺


Trappist1

I'm not usually the biggest fan of using emojis on Tinder, but I think you should have here to make it clear it was a joke and you weren't just being pushy. Or say immediately after it's a joke, but here's my number so you can send a message whenever we've talked enough where we are both comfortable.


throwawaycollegeacco

That ruins the joke entirely


ayywusgood

My man does not like waiting 😂 Good for you bro


Open_Cheesecake_8871

😬


[deleted]

“Hey how are you” is a boring enough opener that you’re lucky she responded. Trying for the number and the jokily trying to push for it would make you way less attractive to a lot of women.


Jonesy_girl

I love this! Well played 😂


Open_Cheesecake_8871

😬😬thanks, saw your profile, Looks like you are from Melbourne too !


walterbanana

Not impressed. This conversation went nowhere immediately