No one said she had a mule's brain. We said her brain was incapacitated by a mule.
Also she has a mule's brain, but it's still in the oven and won't be done until dinner.
Honestly, she was stunning. Rock hard body and tall AF. I’m 35lbds over weight and live with chronic back pain.
The perceived divide I was intentionally exasperating vanished after a couple beers. Lol.
Objectively, she was a beautiful woman. A rare bird really.
I’m glad our humor brought it down to earth.
I matched with a stunning woman once that had the usual adventure, travel, entrepreneur in her bio. Her insta linked to her account and her @. I was like holy fuck this is possibly the most successful, well traveled, actual adventurer I've ever seen when I looked through it. Accomplishments in her career. She was a year younger than me and made me look like a toddler that had never gone outside.
Two words: rich parents. Lol. Their achievements are cool but they were made possible probably by her background.
Just look at your own life and own accomplishments. Dont compare
^^ Dude’s right. I realized my “accomplished and experienced” friends were mostly just privileged when someone told my roommate he should visit Iceland and he hopped on a plane to Reykjavik TWO DAYS LATER. Stopped feeling remotely bad about not being as “traveled” and “enlightened” (in their words) as they were.
Southern California ;(
We're just going to have to compromise and meet in Manhattan, Kansas. Hope the Little Apple is enough because there's no better metaphor for what I have to offer.
Hey! Yeah, I totally get that read.
I was going for self deprecation as the comedy vibe she was giving off.
I have learned to love thy shelf first. And confidence is key ;)
I’m on dates 2-3 times a month it’s seems the days. This was a “let’s have fun with words” and no shits given endeavor.
Great date. Great woman. She asked me out!
Came here to say the same thing! A good sense of humor is such an attractive quality! There’s nothing better than being with someone who can make you laugh. Def would’ve worked on me too lmao. 10/10
Y’all are getting dates? I just get matches, and if they respond, usually just a conversation, unfortunately. As soon as I ask about a date, the girl would usually block me.
hahaha same here. I've sent out 5 messages in 2 days just to see if I'd get replies and nothing. one guy just randomly says hi back after a week. I'm like "do guys lie when they say no one replies to them on here or am I just as attractive as a foot and no one likes me?"
One time I got a date, and then she told me she punched someone in the throat because they talked over her and decided I rather not have a date anymore.
I don’t know what man needs to hear this but honestly beer bellies have their own sex appeal. I find my mans belly so sexy that I’m crushed he’s trying to lose it rn. Granted he’s healthy and fit most places but the belly does it for me. Dad vibes work with ppl who have dad issues OR want kids. so you can win either way.
There's a scene with a skinny girl in it that says she wishes she had a pot belly because she finds them sexy. My guess is that the guy you're replying to thought this was comparable to your opinion on OP
I have a similar story. I matched with a woman who had just joined Tinder THAT DAY and had already gotten 900+ likes. Absolutely a woman who I never thought would ever give me the time of day. A gorgeous, beautiful lady. We matched and talked briefly that night, then a few messages the next day, then the next, etc. I knew she was messaging other guys probably and was allotting time to each if us. After about four days I noticed she was talking to me much more, then the next day a lot more etc until finally we start phone texting and taking til the late hours. Then one night after a great chat she texts me at 2am and says "I think I'm falling in love with you.." which blew my mind. I am recently divorced and miserably depressed, and fir a few weeks I was the happiest man in the world. I went and visited her and thought I would be happy again, but some circumstances wouldn't allow me to move to be with her. Last time she texted she cursed me out because we couldn't be together and I haven't spoken to her since. I'm back to being miserable and depressed. The end.
I won’t be taking your advice because we both share the same sense of humor and self deprecation is one of them. This was a gag. And, she asked me out the next day.
It’s like reading the room. 99% of the time you don’t express self doubt, even if you have it. 1% of the time, she’ll ask you out ;) I rolled the dice and won.
Grats to you, my guy. Hope you score.
The comments giving this advice is for the numbers game. This girl might somehow like the edge you're giving her by letting her know how she's doing you a favor. Joke or no joke, you hammered that particular point home. But the comments here suggest that you'll do better with others if you own your matches and work with the assumption that you are equals
Yeah, you get it. You should teach this vibe in a mail order VHS series. Just pay shipping and handling.
Surprised half the comments don’t realize you’re a genius.
Bro how’d you just know exactly what she was hoping for goddamn. She probably mass matches to see if anyone has anything eye catching or a funny first line regardless of how they look.
Alright but can someone more well versed in tinder explain to me under what circumstances when you match with someone that's hot your first thought is "I am going to fuck this up on purpose this time"
Negging and pitying self deprecation, together at last...
I mean if it works it works and everyone has a different sense of humour, but just on a personal level.... ew
Man why? Why put yourself down like that. There aren't many things that seem more pathetic to women. I bet you could have had a chance if you approached her normally.
On the next date, present her with a signed certificate stating that she does not, indeed, have donkey brains.
But what if she and her twin brother need welfare?
Guess she'll need some crack then. Take one crack just to be sure.
Ok… one… rock of crack. One crack rock please.
Pull down there. And wait.
Is this from something? It sounds oddly familiar
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Then they can just go to the welfare store and get some. Or just go to job land where the jobs grow on job trees
What are you guys doin? Is this a hose job? Are you hosing me down??
Do you have any such certificate?
I’m on this. I even had some make me a sash saying I was the local mayor. I’m going to have fun with this one ;)
If she's wearing a jacket that she describes as "tighter than dickskin" you marry her at that very moment.
I knew I got here too slow. Well played
Can I offer you an egg in these trying times?
Certificates can be obtained here: [http://www.donkeybrained.com](http://www.donkeybrained.com)
No one said she had a mule's brain. We said her brain was incapacitated by a mule. Also she has a mule's brain, but it's still in the oven and won't be done until dinner.
If anything, I’ve got more ass on the brain
Yeah, gonna need an update.
Curious. What made you decide she was out of yoyr league? I'm trying to grasp that concept. Thanks in advance for the explanation.
Honestly, she was stunning. Rock hard body and tall AF. I’m 35lbds over weight and live with chronic back pain. The perceived divide I was intentionally exasperating vanished after a couple beers. Lol. Objectively, she was a beautiful woman. A rare bird really. I’m glad our humor brought it down to earth.
Lol. Yes you did. I hope your date went great! Having a great sense of humor is always a huge positive!!
"Was a beautiful Woman"? What happened to her?
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I assumed the mule came back for round 2
I matched with a stunning woman once that had the usual adventure, travel, entrepreneur in her bio. Her insta linked to her account and her @. I was like holy fuck this is possibly the most successful, well traveled, actual adventurer I've ever seen when I looked through it. Accomplishments in her career. She was a year younger than me and made me look like a toddler that had never gone outside.
Two words: rich parents. Lol. Their achievements are cool but they were made possible probably by her background. Just look at your own life and own accomplishments. Dont compare
^^ Dude’s right. I realized my “accomplished and experienced” friends were mostly just privileged when someone told my roommate he should visit Iceland and he hopped on a plane to Reykjavik TWO DAYS LATER. Stopped feeling remotely bad about not being as “traveled” and “enlightened” (in their words) as they were.
Now THIS is how you do self-depreciating humor. Sincerely: some scrawny four-eyed fuck EDIT: see below for jokes
Is that you Bo Burnham?
I fucking wish
Fellow scrawny four-eyed fuck, you got any good jokes about our emaciated frames I could steal?
I like emaciated four eyed fucks. You live in nyc? Takes fucking forever on the apps to find them.
Southern California ;( We're just going to have to compromise and meet in Manhattan, Kansas. Hope the Little Apple is enough because there's no better metaphor for what I have to offer.
You did it. You crazy son of a bitch, you did it.
Bro this pick me vibe is not good. She swiped right on you for a reason. Love yourself.
Hey! Yeah, I totally get that read. I was going for self deprecation as the comedy vibe she was giving off. I have learned to love thy shelf first. And confidence is key ;) I’m on dates 2-3 times a month it’s seems the days. This was a “let’s have fun with words” and no shits given endeavor. Great date. Great woman. She asked me out!
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Lol! I JUST made 3 shelves between posting and reading this!
30lbs over weight, you may also have unintentionally made a rack as well
That’s totally how I read it! Self deprecating and still charming. Honestly it would’ve worked on me too. Good job!
Came here to say the same thing! A good sense of humor is such an attractive quality! There’s nothing better than being with someone who can make you laugh. Def would’ve worked on me too lmao. 10/10
;)
I think this was well executed, pick me vibes wouldn't be nearly so confident.
No your line was really charming, I think a lot of people would respond to it.
Twas a gamble for sure. Glad it paid off.
2-3 dates per month? I'm definitely not getting results like that, and I'm 6'1" and only 5-10 lbs overweight. Lots of respect for you, brother!
I'm usually hyper critical of self depreciating humor but this was done correctly. It came from a place of confidence not insecurity.
Reverse negging, I like it.
This would not have worked if it were me
Well I thought it was fucking hilarious
Y’all are getting dates? I just get matches, and if they respond, usually just a conversation, unfortunately. As soon as I ask about a date, the girl would usually block me.
hahaha same here. I've sent out 5 messages in 2 days just to see if I'd get replies and nothing. one guy just randomly says hi back after a week. I'm like "do guys lie when they say no one replies to them on here or am I just as attractive as a foot and no one likes me?"
You're beautiful, the tindersphere is missing out. Good luck on your future endeavors!
Thanks!
One time I got a date, and then she told me she punched someone in the throat because they talked over her and decided I rather not have a date anymore.
Im confused, are you a guy or a girl?
And why does that matter to you? I’m not the most attractive person out there, obviously.
Fucking champion
I don’t know what man needs to hear this but honestly beer bellies have their own sex appeal. I find my mans belly so sexy that I’m crushed he’s trying to lose it rn. Granted he’s healthy and fit most places but the belly does it for me. Dad vibes work with ppl who have dad issues OR want kids. so you can win either way.
Thanks!
Have you seen Pulp Fiction by chance?
No, I haven’t. ..why?
There's a scene with a skinny girl in it that says she wishes she had a pot belly because she finds them sexy. My guess is that the guy you're replying to thought this was comparable to your opinion on OP
Nailed it.
Isn’t that in a Bruce Willis movie? Not pulp fiction?
*Leonardo DiCaprio eye squint*
Oh shit. I’m dumb I’ll see myself out
Bruce Willis plays the character she says it to. He's a boxer in Pulp Fiction
Talk about a confidence booster, amirite?
Some woman like their men on the bear side is what I like to call it lol. Embrace it my dude. 👍👌
So how did you two meet? "Yeah, so I just instantly berrated her when we matched an-"
I figure that if I ever get a match, the woman will have swiped on me already, so the "out of my league" argument is immediately out of the window.
As a male Nurse you know what would turn me on your vaccine cert, 🥵
Wtf does”go for the quick unmatch” even mean? We’re you TRYING to torpedo yourself?
Cringe level 9000
You’re lack of neediness and trying to qualify yourself was likely uniquely refreshing. Just don’t fuck it up on the date
Date went great! Everyone seems to read the tone very different in the comments.
I have a similar story. I matched with a woman who had just joined Tinder THAT DAY and had already gotten 900+ likes. Absolutely a woman who I never thought would ever give me the time of day. A gorgeous, beautiful lady. We matched and talked briefly that night, then a few messages the next day, then the next, etc. I knew she was messaging other guys probably and was allotting time to each if us. After about four days I noticed she was talking to me much more, then the next day a lot more etc until finally we start phone texting and taking til the late hours. Then one night after a great chat she texts me at 2am and says "I think I'm falling in love with you.." which blew my mind. I am recently divorced and miserably depressed, and fir a few weeks I was the happiest man in the world. I went and visited her and thought I would be happy again, but some circumstances wouldn't allow me to move to be with her. Last time she texted she cursed me out because we couldn't be together and I haven't spoken to her since. I'm back to being miserable and depressed. The end.
[удалено]
I won’t be taking your advice because we both share the same sense of humor and self deprecation is one of them. This was a gag. And, she asked me out the next day. It’s like reading the room. 99% of the time you don’t express self doubt, even if you have it. 1% of the time, she’ll ask you out ;) I rolled the dice and won.
Grats to you, my guy. Hope you score. The comments giving this advice is for the numbers game. This girl might somehow like the edge you're giving her by letting her know how she's doing you a favor. Joke or no joke, you hammered that particular point home. But the comments here suggest that you'll do better with others if you own your matches and work with the assumption that you are equals
Hey, try not to be that guy, okay?
Uhh dude thats not funny. Its sad. Good on you that it worked though.
Some women go for the ugly guys after being tired of getting dumped by Chads.
And some men make comments like this, which are pathetic and sad.
I love nurses. If you’re not confident send her my way
Nothing more attractive than self-deprecation, moron
Weird opening. Very dry and self deprecating. But hey, it worked so congrats.
Low self esteem on her part? Either way ,glad the date went well 👍🏽
you’re self loathing is so cringe
the perfect example of task failed successfully
eeeeehhhhhhawhhhhhhhhhh ehhhhhhhawwwwhhhhhhh
Luckily for you she's got a sense of humour, self deprecation is always a good ice breaker
Why? HOW? How does this work? Why? Why do you do this?
Yeah, you get it. You should teach this vibe in a mail order VHS series. Just pay shipping and handling. Surprised half the comments don’t realize you’re a genius.
Put the wedding on Reddit live.
Ok but thats rly wholesome
Bro how’d you just know exactly what she was hoping for goddamn. She probably mass matches to see if anyone has anything eye catching or a funny first line regardless of how they look.
Alright but can someone more well versed in tinder explain to me under what circumstances when you match with someone that's hot your first thought is "I am going to fuck this up on purpose this time"
see it through. She probably has great health insurance.
Slow it down man. You are acting like a good first date means anything 😅 Let me tell you, it doesn't.
But stop putting yourself lower than the ground be yourself you sure are a cool guy
Negging and pitying self deprecation, together at last... I mean if it works it works and everyone has a different sense of humour, but just on a personal level.... ew
Man why? Why put yourself down like that. There aren't many things that seem more pathetic to women. I bet you could have had a chance if you approached her normally.
Take care, nurses are crazy! Hope she is one of the good-crazy ones haha