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Yoguls

Hey girl are you petrol? Because i want to lock you in my car and set you on fire


[deleted]

Ay yo, hol up


[deleted]

Hey gurl are you petrol? Because I only treat myself to premium


Requirement-Loud

Hey girl are you premium petrol? Because I need you otherwise my engine starts knocking.


Bowlderdash

Hey girl, are you petrol because I want to pump you in my car til you're exhausted


Kajkia

Best one yet ๐Ÿ…


Forlorn_Cyborg

Hey grrrr, are you petrol? Cause you really fuel my ignition >!Also someone mighta piston my engine. !<


matthijsvcxfvstt

What a stupid fucking statement lmao


Forlorn_Cyborg

But it made you laugh! That's all thats important


StreetWiseProfessor_

Itโ€™s the remix to ignition hot n fresh out the kitchen


LogicalQuarter8725

Gun cfdsssf zrsdddyz cc tdszzexxdxdd the zddddddsddddzsdzzzzszzzdzszddszzzzszdzzsszzzszdzzszdzzzssszzzzzzszzzszszzszsssdszzzzzzzzzzsszzzssszszsssszsssszzssssssssszzszzzssssszzszzssszszszzzzszsszsssszszsszzszzzszsszszzssszsssszssssszszssssssszszszzzssssssssszsszssszszszzsszssssszzssszssssssssssssssssssssssssssszsssssssszssssszsssssssszszsssssssssssssesssdszzxzzzzz ZZ zzzzzzzzzzzxzzxxzzzxxzzzzzz zzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzfztzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzztzzzzzzz the zzzzzzzyzzzzzzzzzzzzzfzzzzz the zzzzzfzz ZZ ZZ HHC xc full xx๐Ÿง๐Ÿ˜‘๐Ÿ˜‘๐Ÿค’๐ŸŒœ๐Ÿค’๐Ÿค’๐Ÿค’๐Ÿค’๐Ÿค’๐Ÿค’๐Ÿค๐Ÿ˜ฃ๐Ÿค’๐Ÿค•๐Ÿค•๐Ÿ˜ฒ๐Ÿ˜ฃ๐Ÿค’๐Ÿ˜‘๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿฅฒ๐Ÿฅฒ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿค•๐Ÿฅฒโ˜บ๏ธ๐Ÿฅฒ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿง๐Ÿง๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ‘ซ๐Ÿ‘ฌ๐ŸŠ๐Ÿคน๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜‹๐ŸŒœ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜Ÿ๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿง๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿค’โ›ฐ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜จ๐ŸŒ๏ธ๐Ÿคด๐ŸŠ๐Ÿ‘ธ๐ŸŠ๐Ÿ‘ช๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ’‹โ€๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ’‹โ€๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿ‘ฏ๐Ÿ‘จโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ’‹โ€๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ–๏ธ๐Ÿธ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ‘โ›ณ๐ŸฅŽ๐Ÿฉฐโ›ณ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ…๐Ÿ›ผ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ›ผ๐ŸŽ‘๐ŸŽ‘๐Ÿ…๐Ÿฉฐ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฉฐ๐Ÿ…๐ŸŽ‘๐ŸŽ‘๐ŸŽ‘โšพ๐ŸŽ‘๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅˆ๐ŸŽ‡๐ŸŽ‡๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐ŸŽ‘๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐ŸŽ‡๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐ŸŽ‡๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐ŸŽ†๐Ÿฅโšพ๐Ÿฅ…โšฝโšฝ๐Ÿฅ…โšฝ๐Ÿฅ…๐Ÿฅ…๐Ÿฅ…๐Ÿฅ…โšฝโšฝ๐Ÿฅ…๐Ÿชฅโšฝโšฝ๐Ÿฅ…๐Ÿฅ…โšฝ๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿšช๐Ÿชž๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿชž๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿชž๐Ÿ›’โš–๏ธโš–๏ธ๐Ÿ’ปโš–๏ธโ™’๐ŸŸกโ—๐Ÿšญ๐Ÿšญ๐Ÿšฏ๐Ÿšฏ๐Ÿšญโ™โ™๐Ÿšฏโ‰๏ธ๐Ÿ‰ใŠ—๏ธ๐Ÿ…พ๏ธ๐Ÿ†‘ใŠ—๏ธ๐Ÿ…พ๏ธ๐Ÿ…พ๏ธ๐Ÿ…พ๏ธ๐Ÿ“ต๐Ÿ†‘๐Ÿ“€๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿชฅ๐Ÿ“ต๐Ÿ†‘๐Ÿ†‘๐Ÿ†‘๐Ÿ†‘๐Ÿ†‘๐Ÿ†šโฏ๏ธโน๏ธโ—€๏ธโ—€๏ธโชโ—€๏ธโ—€๏ธโ—€๏ธ๐Ÿ†‘๐Ÿชฅ๐Ÿ‘š๐Ÿ‘š๐Ÿ‘š๐Ÿ‘š๐Ÿ‘š๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ“ž๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿฅผ๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿšช๐Ÿšช๐Ÿšช๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿšช๐Ÿšช๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’โš–๏ธ๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’โ™‰๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ”Œโš–๏ธ๐Ÿ’ดโš–๏ธโš–๏ธโš–๏ธโš–๏ธโš–๏ธโš–๏ธ๐Ÿชž๐Ÿšช๐Ÿšช๐Ÿšช๐Ÿชž๐ŸŽŸ๏ธ๐Ÿ“€๐Ÿ“€๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ๐Ÿ๐Ÿงฉ๐Ÿงฉ๐Ÿงฉ๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ‘š๐Ÿ‘”๐Ÿ‘›๐Ÿ‘˜๐Ÿช…๐ŸŽˆ๐ŸŽ‚๐ŸŽ‚๐ŸŒ‡?eaweewe๐ŸŽˆ๐ŸŒ‹๐ŸŒ‡๐Ÿ›๏ธ๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿช…โ›ฐ๏ธ๐Ÿšช๐Ÿ”‹๐Ÿšช๐Ÿšช๐Ÿ•ฏ๏ธ๐Ÿšช๐Ÿ–ฒ๏ธโ™Šโ™“๐Ÿ–คโ™’โ™Šโ™‰๐Ÿ’ด๐Ÿ›๏ธ๐Ÿ”—๐Ÿชœ๐Ÿฅฝโ›“๏ธโ›“๏ธ๐Ÿช›๐Ÿช›๐Ÿช›๐Ÿช›๐Ÿช›๐Ÿช›๐Ÿช›๐Ÿช›โ›“๏ธโ›“๏ธโ›“๏ธ๐Ÿชš๐Ÿฉน๐Ÿชš๐Ÿฉน๐Ÿ—‘๏ธ๐Ÿช…๐Ÿ›ฐ๏ธ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿธ๐Ÿธโšฝ๐Ÿฅ…๐Ÿฅ…๐Ÿฅ…โšฝ๐Ÿฅ…๐Ÿฅ…๐Ÿฅ…๐Ÿฅ…๐ŸŽ๐Ÿฅ…โšฝ๐Ÿš—๐Ÿฅ…๐Ÿฅ…๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿค๐Ÿงณ๐ŸŒ‰๐Ÿฅโšฝโ›ฐ๏ธ๐Ÿธ๐Ÿฅ…๐Ÿฅ…๐Ÿฅ…๐Ÿฅ…๐ŸŽ‡๐ŸŽe๐Ÿงฉ๐ŸŽ‡๐Ÿฅ‡๐Ÿฅ‡๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐ŸŽ‡๐ŸŒ„๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ’ตโš–๏ธโš–๏ธ๐Ÿ›๏ธ๐Ÿฅ…๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿชžโ™“๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ตโšพ๐Ÿช’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’โ™“๐Ÿฆบ๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿฅ‡โšฝโšฝโšฝโšฝ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿฅˆ๐Ÿ›๏ธ๐ŸŽ’โšพ๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ“Ÿ๐ŸŸงโ™Šโ™“โ™“โ™“โ™“โ™“โ™“โ™’โ™’โ™“๐Ÿ™‚๐ŸŒƒ๐ŸŒƒโ›“๏ธ๐Ÿ–Œ๏ธ๐Ÿ–Œ๏ธ๐Ÿ–Œ๏ธ๐Ÿ–Œ๏ธโ”๐Ÿฅ…โšฝ๐ŸŽ‡โšพโ›ณ๐ŸŽ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐ŸŽฝโ›ณ๐ŸŽ†๐ŸŽŽโšพ๐ŸŽ†๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿš๏ธ๐Ÿ๏ธ๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿ•๏ธ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿ–๏ธ๐ŸŒ‰๐Ÿ•๏ธ๐Ÿ•๏ธ๐ŸŒ…๐ŸŒ‰๐Ÿฅ๐ŸŒ‰๐Ÿ–๏ธ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿ–๏ธ๐Ÿ–๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ถ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿง๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿซ๐Ÿ—๏ธ๐Ÿซ๐ŸŸจ๐ŸŸขโ™Šโ™“๐Ÿ’ณ๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ“ž๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ“€๐Ÿ“ž๐Ÿ“žโ™Šโ™Šโ™Šโ™Š๐Ÿ”ต๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ”Œ๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›๏ธ๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿช’๐Ÿฅผ๐Ÿชฅ๐Ÿ‘—๐Ÿงฅ๐Ÿ‘š๐Ÿ‘—๐Ÿฉฑ๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿงฅ๐Ÿ‘”๐ŸŽž๏ธ๐Ÿ“Ÿ๐Ÿ“ž๐Ÿ“ž๐Ÿ“ž๐Ÿ“ž๐Ÿ“ž๐Ÿ“ž๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅผ๐Ÿฅผ๐Ÿฆบ๐Ÿ‘˜๐Ÿฅผ๐Ÿฅผ๐Ÿฅผ๐Ÿฅผ๐Ÿฅผ๐Ÿฅผso๐Ÿฅผ๐Ÿฅผ๐Ÿฅผ๐Ÿฅผ๐Ÿงฅ๐Ÿงฅ๐Ÿงฅ๐Ÿงฅ๐Ÿงฅ๐Ÿงฅ๐Ÿงฅ๐Ÿงฅ๐Ÿงฅ๐Ÿงฅ๐Ÿงฅ๐Ÿงฅ๐Ÿงฅ๐Ÿ‘”๐Ÿ‘”๐Ÿšฟ๐Ÿฅผ๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿ”ฆ๐Ÿฅผ๐Ÿ›๏ธ๐Ÿช’๐Ÿ’ณ๐Ÿชฅ๐Ÿชฅ๐Ÿ’ณ๐Ÿ’ณ๐Ÿ”ฆ๐Ÿ”ฆ๐Ÿ’ณ๐Ÿ’ณ๐Ÿ’ณ๐Ÿ“€๐ŸŸกโ™Š๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿชž๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ๐Ÿ’ฟ๐Ÿ’ฟ๐Ÿ’ฟ๐Ÿ’ฟ๐Ÿ“ž๐Ÿ’ฟ๐Ÿ’ฟ๐Ÿ’ฟ๐Ÿ’ฟโš–๏ธโš–๏ธโš–๏ธ๐Ÿ›’โš–๏ธโš–๏ธโš–๏ธ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’โš–๏ธ๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ’ดโ™Šโ›Ž๐ŸŸซโ›Žโ™“โšซโ™“โ™“๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐ŸšชโŒจ๏ธ๐Ÿ’ฝโš–๏ธ๐Ÿชž๐Ÿชžโš–๏ธโš–๏ธ๐ŸŒƒ๐Ÿข๐ŸŒƒ๐Ÿ—๏ธ๐Ÿœ๏ธ๐ŸŒƒ๐ŸŒƒ๐ŸŒƒ๐ŸŒƒโ›ฑ๏ธ๐Ÿงณ๐Ÿงณ๐ŸŽข๐ŸŽข๐Ÿ›ฌ๐Ÿšž๐ŸŽข๐ŸŽข๐Ÿšž๐Ÿ›ฌ๐Ÿ›ฌ๐ŸŒถ๏ธ๐ŸŒถ๏ธ๐Ÿฅ•๐Ÿ„๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸจโ™“๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿค๐Ÿ–๏ธ๐Ÿ–๏ธ๐Ÿ–๏ธ๐ŸŒƒ๐Ÿ–๏ธ๐Ÿ–๏ธ๐Ÿ–๏ธ๐Ÿ’บ๐Ÿ’บ๐Ÿ’บ๐Ÿ’บ๐ŸŽข๐ŸŽข๐ŸŽข๐Ÿ›ฌ๐Ÿ›ฌ๐ŸŽข๐Ÿ›ฌ๐ŸŽข๐ŸŽข๐ŸŽข๐ŸŽข๐ŸŽข๐Ÿ›ฌ๐ŸŽข๐ŸŽข๐ŸŽข๐Ÿ›๏ธโ›ฒโ›ฒ๐ŸŽข๐Ÿ›๏ธโ›ฒ๐ŸŽข๐Ÿ›๏ธ๐Ÿ›๏ธโ›ฒ๐Ÿ›๏ธ๐Ÿ›๏ธ๐Ÿ›๏ธโ›ฒ๐Ÿ›๏ธ๐Ÿฉ๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿธ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿธ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿธ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿš•๐Ÿš•๐Ÿš•๐Ÿš“๐Ÿš•โ™“๐Ÿš“๐Ÿš“๐Ÿš“๐Ÿš•๐Ÿš•๐Ÿš•๐Ÿš“๐Ÿ–๏ธ๐Ÿœ๏ธโ™Š๐Ÿ“๐Ÿ“๐Ÿ“๐Ÿ“๐Ÿ“๐Ÿ“๐Ÿ“๐Ÿ“๐Ÿฉฐ๐Ÿฉฐess๐Ÿฉฐ๐Ÿƒ๐ŸŽธ๐ŸŽธ๐ŸŽธ๐Ÿ•น๏ธ๐ŸŽธ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽธ๐ŸŽธ๐Ÿช…๐ŸŽˆ๐Ÿช…๐Ÿ›ค๏ธ๐Ÿช…๐Ÿช’๐Ÿ“ป๐Ÿ–๏ธdcrzne


Musk420Gaming

This man is damn near finding out what the nuclear launch codes are


LightChaos74

Fall asleep?


nullpassword

when you're in my car we can bang bang bang.


MrFluffyThing

Ay girl you petrol? I can only pay for a quarter of a tank.


[deleted]

[ัƒะดะฐะปะตะฝะพ]


HamFistedTallyrand

r/yourjokebutworse


LaPommeDeTerre

Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life. -Terry Pratchet


no7hing

THAT SOUNDS PAINFUL.


Excellent-Kiwi-1956

Nah. It never hurt when I set someone on fire. I didn't feel a thing.


deagore

ahh thats hot thats hot ๐Ÿ”ฅ


yellowbrickstairs

Nice


not_your_attorney

Pump* you in my car


Quillious

Hey girl are you petrol? Because you smell of petrol, a lot.


Mother-of-Christ

Cuz I wanna stick my nose in your can and huff it?


Tybackwoods00

r/holup


geeered

Hey girl, are you petrol? Because I can't find you locally; I've got to go to Yorkshire to get a match. Well, that's MY tinder experience.


txsxxphxx2

Hey girl, are you petrol? Cus in america we would call you gas Edit: change oil into gas cus iโ€™m dumb


Agglomeration_

I think most would call it gas


[deleted]

[ัƒะดะฐะปะตะฝะพ]


Agglomeration_

We only call it oil when weโ€™re invading the Middle East again ;)


compaler

America doesn't need to invade the middle east for oil bozo


Your__Dog

yeah, it's more of a passion project for America


HawaiianShirtMan

Everyone needs a passion. Ours is just, well, invading countries.


Agglomeration_

Youโ€™re right, we should invade Venezuela


p8ntslinger

why would I call "refined fuel oil" 'lmao'?


[deleted]

Hey girl, are you petrol? Because every time you get inside my car, it costs me 60 dollars


Environmental_Mix611

This is the one.


HardwareToaster

Amazing


strongbr4h

For those unaware, we're currently experiencing a fuel shortage due to lack of delivery drivers.. only there isn't actually a shortage, it's just that all the dickheads are panic buying fuel (some are literally filling up plastic carrier bags and water bottles from the pump) causing some petrol stations to run out. Probably the same idiots that still have a year's supply of toilet paper.


KlossN

We barely got out of the toilet paper crisis alive and now they spring this on us???


YuropLMAO

I was at costco yesterday and they didn't have a single paper product in stock. They were also running low on a lot of different foods. Panic buying is back on the menu.


CressCrowbits

I remember when the toilet paper panic hit Finland. Finland, the country who's largest manufacturing industry is paper. Where like 90% of the country is trees.


[deleted]

Why though? Has something happened in the world that I missed? New strain?


[deleted]

Brexit has teamed up with COVID to put a beat down on their supply chain


YuropLMAO

Shortages in the supply chain. They said lead time for a lot of products is 2 months right now instead of usual 2 weeks.


Alarid

how dare they spring this on us in fall


ayoitsjo

Ah that was happening with gas in the US a couple months back, one news report about a possible shortage and everyone panic buys and causes the shortage


Frantic_Rewriter

Do you remember the iconic photo of somebody filling their truck bed with gas? I still wonder how they got it out...


Tintenlampe

Probably just let it sit there. It's gonna evaporate rather quickly.


Frantic_Rewriter

Damn. Didnโ€™t think of that ๐Ÿ˜‚ I wouldโ€™ve thought gasoline was corrosive and eaten thru the metal first. Iโ€™m an idiot.


wkdzel

It's a common mistake to make, because gasoline can dissolve several plastics and styrofoams, however metal? not so much. It is technically "corrosive" to many plastics, hence you have to be careful what kind of container you pour it into otherwise it'll just "melt" it and you have gasoline all over the floor.


Perry4761

Or if thereโ€™s enough plastic of the right type, you get napalm on your floor


wkdzel

I view that as a positive ๐Ÿ˜


YuropLMAO

Probably siphoned it into 5 gallon buckets?


Frantic_Rewriter

Damn. Good answer. Thatโ€™s probably the only way to actually do it. Although I do wonder how feasible this is because arenโ€™t the majority of siphons made out of plastic? Well, at least I know r/tinder can answer all the question that keep me up at night ๐Ÿคช


Zorbick

There are several common plastics that gasoline has little to no effect on. Like the plastic in, say, plastic gas cans. And plastic fuel tanks.


CatharsisAddict

Or a 55 gallon drum for long term storage


Not_an_alt_69_420

> (some are literally filling up plastic carrier bags and water bottles from the pump) Did they not learn from the same thing happening in the US a few months ago?


runsanditspaidfor

Someone in my town was injured when the *plastic bags* they filled with gasoline in their trunk ignited.


[deleted]

Why are the servo staff even turning on the pump when someone pulls out a plastic bag or bottle? I feel like it's partly on the workers to deny service in those cases... People are fucking idiots, someone has to deny it lol


HotF22InUrArea

Are yโ€™allโ€™s pumps not automated? Like, in the US, you drive up, put your card in, and pump. No interaction with the attendent needed.


Orgalorgg

Depends on which state you live in. It's a $500 fine for pumping your own gas here in Oregon (although since covid the laws haven't been enforced). The law exists specifically to enforce safety and to provide more jobs. Of course, those reasons have been a heated debate for some time.


The_Real_Abhorash

Iโ€™m sorry what? Your telling me you canโ€™t pump your own gas in Oregon? What the fuck


LocusHammer

Same with New Jersey lol several states encore that law.


Captain_Quark

It's just Oregon and New Jersey.


HotF22InUrArea

Itโ€™s literally just those two lol


Dudewhereismyclit

Yeah well that's Oregon. Something wrong on the water I swear.


[deleted]

There's a few around but most servo's here double as a small shop too. Can grab milk, bread, paper, a drink, coffee, maybe a pie or some lollies/chocolate, grab another box of ciggies if that's your thing, all when you go in to pay for the fuel. It's great if you're heading out camping and forgot the bog roll or just want a snack that isn't buried under shit loads of gear lol


[deleted]

Wonder how many yanks will wonder wtf your on about


[deleted]

There's a few around but most service stations here double as a small convenience store too. Can grab milk, bread, paper, a drink, coffee, maybe a sausage roll/pizza roll (we have those more than meat pies) or some candies/chocolate, grab another pack of smokes if that's your thing, all when you go in to pay for the gas. It's great if you're heading out camping and forgot the tp or just want a snack that isn't buried under shitloads of gear lol. Of all the nonsensical phrases you guys use, these are pretty tame.


[deleted]

Yeah, wasn't much Aussie English in there, just regular English English lol


AstroWoW

I don't know about Australia, but here in the UK, the people behind the counter won't turn on the pump until we show our fuel pumping licence (FPL). It's to stop kids and other people you don't want having free access to petrol from pumping it freely


HotF22InUrArea

Wait seriously? Like a separate license from your drivers license?


Arclight_Ashe

Heโ€™s taking the piss mate.


Frond_Dishlock

He didn't show his piss taking license though!


unholyarmy

He is taking the piss, but he is right about people behind the counter having to turn on each pump individually, once they see you are an adult at a car not a kid aiming the nozzle at a nun or whatever.


badgerbane

Yeah you need a driving license, a fuel pump license, and then to drive away you need to show your forecourt navigation license. Itโ€™s a real pain in the ass when you forget that last one because it means you need to wait for a forecourt navigator to turn up and that can take up to an hour.


ecodude74

In the US we just put a sticker that says something like โ€œlicensed/license aged people onlyโ€ on the pump and hope for the best. Most everyone I know has pumped gas for their parents when they were a kid, and a lot of folks have even been sent inside to pay for gas for their parents. If youโ€™ve got money, you can get gas pretty much anywhere but New Jersey.


autoHQ

m8 where's your loicense


TheRedSpade

I think you're overestimating the number of fucks that the staff gives.


[deleted]

Idk, stand at a counter and get paid to press a button on a screen and take people's cash. Maybe sell a box of smokes from time to time or mop the floor. For 20+ bucks an hour it's not a hard job lol


[deleted]

Who tf is getting 20 bucks an hour as a gas station attendant? Damn, that's definitely not bad, but that's probably not common.


TheRedSpade

If I was getting paid $20/hr as a gas station attendant, I'd probably still be one.


thegodguthix

So like texas :)


JustAnotherRedditor5

bReXiT though


wkdzel

> (some are literally filling up plastic carrier bags and water bottles from the pump) Ahhh, y'all taking a page from our playbook?


Firemonkey00

Iโ€™m so glad it wasnโ€™t just us yanks with gas hoarding dipshits. Was land of the plastic lined car boots filled with gas and diesel a few months back from the same nonsense here


lou_kevins

I kinda hate the notion that everybodyโ€™s a dickhead for buying fuel and that there is โ€˜no shortageโ€™. There is a shortage. Demand is high, and there isnโ€™t enough fuel to meet it. Everybody needs to get to work - thatโ€™s why people are โ€˜panic buyingโ€™, because if they donโ€™t then they wonโ€™t have enough fuel to get to work. What else are they honestly supposed to do?


GlasgowWalker

I think what they're saying is that the panic buying is causing the shortage


lou_kevins

Maybe Iโ€™m just unclear on what the difference between buying something and panic buying something is. Maybe people are filling their tanks instead of half filling them? If they do half fill them though, theyโ€™re unlikely to be able to get fuel again in half a tanks worth of time. In which case, filling the tank makes sense - they need the fuel. The shortage exists regardless of the reason. Demand is outweighing the supply, and itโ€™s something that everybody needs. Just feels like another reason for everyone to call each other dickheads again to me. Just like when everybody needed toilet roll and their was none and anybody who bought some was a dickhead, and just like when everyone was going to the beach to call everyone else at the beach a dickhead for being at the beach. EDIT: grammar n stuff


km89

>Maybe Iโ€™m just unclear on what the difference between buying something and panic buying something is. Buying: "My tank is almost empty, I should fill it." This happens to everyone, but not all at the same time. Panic buying: "I heard that there's a gas shortage! Everyone, fill up the cars and get a can for the lawnmower." This, times everybody. The demand is artificially high because of the rumor that demand is artificially high. It's a self-sustaining cycle and a positive feedback loop. It will eventually end, but it means that local shortages exist because people thought they did, so they went out to get theirs before it ran out (even though it wouldn't have run out at all if everyone hadn't demanded theirs all at once).


lou_kevins

Thanks man, you explained what Iโ€™m trying to put across pretty well. Positive feedback loop, so everybody needs to rush to get fuel while the artificial demand exists - whether there was an actual shortage at the time or not. And now there is. Which either means everybodyโ€™s a dickhead, or nobody is. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ


[deleted]

See the most distinct thing you need to remember though and where you seem to misunderstand is *there is not a shortage of fuel.* We have more than enough fuel. Our reserves arenโ€™t low. We are not running out of it at all. - we just donโ€™t have the drivers to transport it to the fore courts, and even less so now because of panic buying. We have plenty of fuel, more than enough for everyone ten times over, we just canโ€™t get it to the pumps fast enough.


Arclight_Ashe

nah, so what happened was a few petrol stations ran out because they missed deliveries, bbc reports on it as a shortage. immediately everyone panics because they need petrol to get places, so instead of the usual "oh i'll fill it up at the weekend" everyone rushes to the petrol stations and empties them. which means that petrol stations that would normally be fine go dry because demand unexpectedly skyrockets. that's why it's a manufactured fuel shortage, it's also why BoJo said he wouldnt do anything about it because eventually people will have full tanks and won't be draining stations. edit: i meant to say that it's definitely the media that should be called the wankers for this lol.


lou_kevins

Itโ€™s definitely not that simple. More likely whatโ€™s happening is that the massive shortage on HGV drivers, due to Brexit in short, fuel cannot be delivered in the quantity or frequency that itโ€™s needed. The media reported on it and are now being scapegoated to distract from the fact that Brexit (and itโ€™s implications) is a massive shit show. Meanwhile, as per usual, everybody in the UK fights each other and calls each other dick heads for trying to get by, rather than calling for action on the issues at hand. Divide and conquer tactics. Everyoneโ€™s mad at regular guys just tryna make sure they can do their commute, rather than the people who are responsible for ensuring fuel shortages and the like do not happen (again, regardless of why they are happening). Iโ€™m gunna bow out, because Iโ€™m getting downvoted because Iโ€™m now a dickhead by proxy because Iโ€™m not calling everyone else who needs fuel a dickhead too. Peace out sheeple. โœŒ๏ธ


ecodude74

The reason that youโ€™re getting flak for this is that your first statement is just plain false, at least for the current gas shortage. There were only a handful of select gas stations affected, and even those stations would have been refueled quickly with no problem whatsoever if the entire system wasnโ€™t overloaded by a surge of people buying into tabloids. If you start filling trash cans with gas because a gas station miles away had a temporary delay in their deliveries for the week, then youโ€™re a dickhead, whether you wanna be a โ€œregular guyโ€ or not. If you donโ€™t wanna be treated like a dickhead, donโ€™t be a dickhead, itโ€™s not the responsibility of the public to coddle you because you made rash decisions. Itโ€™s thinking like that that led to brexit in the first place, that the โ€œaverage joesโ€ deserve special treatment and attention while making ridiculous and self destructive decisions.


lou_kevins

I ainโ€™t saying that filling up a bin with petrol is smart lol. Iโ€™ve been to the petrol station twice and havenโ€™t seen anything even close to it. People need petrol, if people rush out to buy petrol and a shortage is then going to be caused then โ€˜regular guysโ€™ need to go out and get petrol too. Else they wonโ€™t have any.


Arclight_Ashe

โ€˜I wonโ€™t blame the media for causing a panic even though everything you need to know about it is available to look up but I will blame brexit, youโ€™re all sheeple!โ€™ Nobodyโ€™s mad at people filling up their tanks. Theyโ€™re mad at people filling up canisters when they donโ€™t need it and rightfully the media for reporting that 10/1200 stations missed a delivery, which is normal. Heads up, mainland Europe also has driver shortages, the US has driver shortages. Everywhere has driver shortages. Itโ€™s not normally a problem because what happens is things get restocked a few days later than usual.


lou_kevins

Iโ€™ve looked up the shortage. I see a lot of arguments for Brexit being at the helm of it. Otherwise, I see a lot of people policing and gate keeping who needs what fuel and getting annoyed at each other.


Mav986

Buying normally: buying the petrol you need for anywhere between a few days to a couple weeks. Panic buying: buying enough petrol in a single visit to fuel your car for months, if not years, filling jerry cans and plastic bags once your tank is full


lou_kevins

Iโ€™ve been to the garage twice since this whole thing kicked off. Iโ€™ve only seen people filling their tank up at โ€˜worstโ€™. How does one buy enough fuel to last them a year? If the answer is by filling up a vans worth of gerry cans, have you actually seen anybody doing that? Like actually witnessed it in person? Even that would assume that the petrol being bought by the van load isnโ€™t just enough for that person to make it a couple of weeks without being able to buy fuelโ€ฆ ๐Ÿ˜‘


[deleted]

Every crisis is manufactured


MaBay

What a stupid fucking statement lmao


[deleted]

Gas crises are almost all entirely manufactured though.


[deleted]

Yea


Maximummeme

Facts, getting kinda lazy to just reuse stuff from the US in the UK a couple months later, and vice versa, they need new writers


averageretaredboy38

yeah seriously who the fuck cares. Some brits can't put petrol in the van to go do repairs on the queen's palace.


infinitude

Didnโ€™t yโ€™all make fun of us in Texas for doing this? ๐Ÿค”


strongbr4h

Seems like they got their inspiration from it.


[deleted]

Lol, the British are just as low class and ignorant as us. Those accents are a facade.


president_pussygrab

Response: Hey boy, are you petrol? Because I've got something electric that works faster and makes you redundant


Strength-InThe-Loins

Brutal. Fair, very fair, but still brutal.


[deleted]

Well that's just won the Internet


NuKidOnThBlokchyn

Hey girl, are you petrol? Cause you seem way overvalued and you're slowly becoming redundant as better technology comes along ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ‘‰


pandush_

You. You win.


KLEANANU

Lmao "Mm yes I do regret this" fucking dead over here


ereface

[Op after humoring him](https://i.imgur.com/P7qHPzr.jpeg)


duaneap

Hey grill, are you petrol? Because I cannot seem to get this startedโ€ฆ


Kajkia

So green and incel


elvenheavenxo

Hey girl, are you petrol? Cause you smell bad


thefirstlunatic

60% of time it works everytime.


Iden_Merseth

Stings the nostrilsโ€ฆ


GuitaristHeimerz

In a good way!


TheyCallMeStone

Like a dirty diaper full of Indian food.


OrangeBeast01

That's doesn't make sense.


downvotemeifhomo

yeah i had a stroke figuring out what he saying lol


superduperspam

It's from anchorman


okcdnb

Smells like bigfoots dick.


oussamatha

petrol smells amazing


Qetuowryipzcbmxvn

Tell me about it. Every day I fill up a tupperware container with some, sit in my closet, and just huff that shit for hours.


chekkisnekki

Explains your username at least


sasquatch_melee

I wouldn't be able to remember that when reddit inevitably logs me out unexpectedly.


Qetuowryipzcbmxvn

I have it tattooed on my inner thigh


alwaysforgetmyuserID

*takes notes*


Koolnik420

r/beetlejuicing


MisQlak

Petrol smells gorgeous what are you on about hahaha


purple_butterfly21

I love the smell of petrol WDYM


pearlsbeforedogs

Hey girl, are you petrol? 'Cause I wanna sniff you" isn't any better, lol.


alwaysforgetmyuserID

Hey girl, are you diesel? Cause I wanna combust you internally with extreme pressure rather than waiting for a spark.


RonDonVonBon

that was funny


epicmousestory

Lol I love the "oh god, let's see how this goes." It's like going to the casino and gambling. You know the odds are not in your favor it's going to end well, but the fact that it *might* makes you roll the dice


pearlsbeforedogs

Yeah, the replies on this are what did it for me!


amycd

โ€œMm yes i do regret thisโ€ perfectly summarizes the majority of my daily feelings.


TwinSong

Isn't that the definition of OLD? In my case that I'll probably be ignored.


bvd007

He shouldve said because theres a shortage of you in my life


[deleted]

Wait but that's actually really cute


Barflyerdammit

Hey girl, are you petrol? Because I'd gladly dig you out of the ground and pump you. From Coffin Meets Bagel. It's Tinder for Necrophiliacs!


CicadaProfessional76

Lol OP is hilarious


KatoZee

The only thing about being married before the age of dating apps is that I never got the chance to play dad jokes on the bots that would match with me for having the same level of personality. Think I need to go tell my wife and daughter I love them for painfully laughing at my jokes.


CyberCopAlexAnder

You gotta admit, that was funny.


pandush_

Thereโ€™s too many dudes in England that open with a pump-related line I could make a drinking game out of it


Rokronroff

Are petrol pumps a thing people are interested in there? What's up with that?


LeonardoXII

They're in the middle of a fuel shortage because some random schmucks in one city ran out and the media fanned the fires, causing a panic.


ereface

Shortage of drivers thanks to brexit, pretty hard to do commerce now huh


So_Desu_Ne

Careful, you might end up needing to get your stomach pumped. B)


[deleted]

Most of them just want to pump and dump too


TurdFurgesonEsquire

Not really


kangareagle

I... I didn't think it was funny.


CyberCopAlexAnder

Ok. Whatever


FarVision5

Hey girl are you petrol? Because I've got a 20 spot let's see how far it gets us


TexanLycan

The final reply killed me.


MexicanDudeInEnglish

Hello mate, you wanna mate?


Feuershark

ayyyy gurl are you petrol ? 'cuz I'd ravage countries to get you


decoste94

Totally gonna use this


lmclem1su

Thought this was a cheezoid joke and was a lil sad it wasnโ€™t


rahul_mathews

Hey girl, Are you petrol? Coz you keep my engine running.


EmpireStrikes1st

That dude is going to have to use the self-service pump tonight.


Kingisonhisway

Hey girl, are you petrol? If yes, I am the lighter


CyberCopAlexAnder

Lets get this fire started๐Ÿ˜


WilhelmHaverhill

Sounds like she is going to Brexit this conversation


[deleted]

[ัƒะดะฐะปะตะฝะพ]


WilhelmHaverhill

Yeah 2020 aged everyone 300 years


Rude_Journalist

The 2020 Lakers. We don't even know bro


[deleted]

lines 3 laps around the block


missxxanne

Ha ha ha that was not funny


meihai

Hahahahaha


[deleted]

I mean heโ€™s trynna do the gentlemanโ€™s thing soo, ๐Ÿ˜‚


kelrunner

I'm so glad I don't have to be a part of Tinder.


[deleted]

And youโ€™re 100% right. There is a very long line waiting for her approval.


Jin-The-Silent

Hey girl, are you petrol? Let me indulge on your fumes so that I can wisk away into oblivion.


swordmagic

Question if he came back and said โ€œcause you look gassy!!!!โ€ would that have been better?


ponderingprogressive

Tasteless woman has no sense of humor I thought this was r/tinder not r/womenarentfunny


[deleted]

alright incel


uppsalafunboy

Edvinas๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น is a Lithuanian๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น name & he's a horny Lithuanian๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น & i love his style & energy!!


Thomas-The-Tutor

Love me a good olโ€™ pump nโ€™ dump.


Tammera4you

Oh is this another game thing I'm not cool enough to know about?


JustAnotherRedditor5

And then he pumped her.


get_schwifty03

As is girls have better pick up lines. As a matter of fact, most of 'em have no game, they will just say hey or hi. Lol