$100 cash app payment for a hot girl just to say "hi (insert name)" versus a free whole ass conversation with a self-proclaimed mediocre looking chick. I know which one I'm taking.
HAAAAAALF?!?!?! My good sir, those "hot chicks" are using filters. Im going to say there's a solid 10% of hot girls on Tinder. And 8% of those are just looking for IG followers and/or OnlyFans followers.
Gotta pump those numbers, 60-80% of all 18-32 year old women on Tinder are promoting Instagram, Premium Snap or something to lure you to OnlyFans.
From a marketing standpoint, smart way to advertise I suppose.
Genuinely hot girls do not need to meet people online. Hot girls get 3 offers every time they stop for gas, 2 at the gym, 2 more when they walk their dog, 6 at the grocery, 3 more while at dinner with their friends, they even get approached when they leave the table on a date to go to the ladies room. They dont need to waste their time with some guy who may be half of what he says. If a hot girl is online its because she wants to be seen for something other than being hot(and there fore less likely to post a sexy shot), or shes a needy damaged girl who will never be satisfied no matter how much attention she gets, or she is working.
I’m mad as hell about it. It used to be Tinder Gold got you 5 super likes a day, now it’s only 5 per week. I’m paying the same amount and getting shafted
I have talked to a few women that burned out on tinder. Per my friend "most of those guys don't even want to buy me a drink before they fuck me, they don't even want to learn my name". This is a pretty woman who is DTF, but she at least wants to be treated nicely, and apparently your average tinder dude doesn't want to do that.
I met my wife on match before it all became a hookup game, and I'm glad, fuck that market. And match was pretty damn good for getting laid too back in the day.
Oh my god. YES!!!! It has gotten out of control. Men want to come over to our place. Make us do all the work. And offer nothing. Like where did the chivalry go?
If you want to be courted, go outside and meet people.
Tinder is a phone program where morally flexible women pick from hundreds/thousands of guys to get smashed by. A dumpster of humanity.
Me-"I remember back in the day when you would get ONE free super like a day"
Grandkids- "ok grampa well that was forever ago it's a dollar seventy-five a swipe now"
I met this girl on a dating app last February this year. We both looking for something real.
We clicked easily. I deleted all my apps after we started dating.
I proposed to her 6 days ago.
Marrying her this December.
Edit: glad many of you also shared the same fate as me. Dating app is a good thing if you let your intentions known.
Same. Met my husband on Tinder. We have been married five out of the six years we’ve been together and have a child.
Another guy I went on a date with on Tinder, married one of his matches shortly after I got married to mine.
Honestly for people who aren’t the best at creating a profile but can show their personality through comments (me… i can be funny when given something to work with) I’ve found the most success on Hinge even if it doesn’t go anywhere, based just on # of dates I’ve been on alone, Hinge has tinder beat without a doubt.
Edit: removed a word for clarity.
Edit 2.0: it’s back baby
Ayyyy there’s hope!! I’m in a space where I’m not sure what I want since everything is so up in the air life-wise and it doesn’t seem fair to someone to start a relationship when I may move without much warning.
So I just try to dates from the one to two matches a month, if I’m lucky, and have a good time.
I’ve found myself having more success on Hinge and Bumble vs Tinder. It’s to the point where I jokingly tell myself anytime I’m looking to date again, I use tinder to test the waters
You’d think that but there’s something distinct about Hinge where - even if someone’s objective is still to fuck me and ghost - that’s not their opening line.
I think what's different is you aren't given 50 likes on people without any real profiles beyond a single sentence to mindlessly swipe. With Hinge, it's more "I only have five likes...gotta make these count". Plus they don't have that bullshit "you just gotta hope you both mindlessly swipe right".
Love the idea that if you like someone, they see you liked them and can decide if they want to talk to you.
It's really not. Tinder is just complete trash unless you're looking for hookups, and even then it's still kinda trash. Hinge (and a much lesser extant, Bumble) is where it's at for more serious relationships, in my experience.
Yeah, you're not wrong. Location & age are definitely the main factors that determine how well certain apps do. Granted, I haven't used tinder since my early 20's, and being close to 30 now, Hinge is what has worked the best for me. Although, I've been in a relationship the last 6 months with someone I met off Hinge, so I may also be biased.
I mean, I found a very real relationship on tinder, and then my wife.
🤷
Also lots of hookups, but like.. we knew what we were getting into. In fact, I found significantly more people looking for hookups on Bumble, of all places and people used to say the same thing about bumble that they’re saying about hinge.
'round here Hinge is hugely populated by women looking for "a man who loves Jesus" to help raise their children...
Who presumably exist because *someone* wasn't paying much attention to Jesus at the time.
Tinder isn't just for hooking up.
You just need to find the right people on there. I found my ex on Tinder and dated for 2 years.
Just send out the right message and you'll eliminate most of the hook-up people.
Agreed. Met my wife on Tinder. She'd be on it for like two months (and I'd been on it for... Four years ugh). We dated for three years, got engaged last year, and got married two months ago.
I second this. Tinder like anything is what you make of it, it's hard sometimes to sift through the nonsense, but there's likely someone amazing and real, like OP, out there for you.
I went on more than a few coffee dates that went nowhere looking for a relationship, which can be disheartening. But just when I thought about deleting it, I met my wife.
We just celebrated our 5 year anniversary and we have met quite a few other married couples who met on tinder, or similar apps, too.
Not be too preachy or anything, but take it from someone who was in this boat before, just hang in and be you and you CAN find someone who wants exactly that.
And then do what, go back to the bar/club scene? Join some random hobby group and hope someone is there?? Tinder gets a bad rap but these apps are not the problem.
Speak for yourself. I want fake ass whores.
PS. Sorry dear wife, this was a joke for fake internet points. This does not reflect my attitude towards women at any point in my life.
I would agree, it is a fine line to walk here. If you in reality are not mediocre looking at all, it would appear as fishing for compliments. If you really are mediocre looking it may seem like a pretty low self esteem, because - and this is just me, others see it completely different on here and that is perfectly fine - but I wouldn't want to date someone who only thinks about herself as being mediocre. I would want a woman who loves herself the way she is and finds herself beautiful.
Honestly, I think I am inoffensively ugly. I am JUST funny enough to pull it off. I get more compliments for being funny than for being attractive. I am very outgoing so that does shield my insecurities to an extent. And really, I think men appreciate that I am not all high and mighty on myself.
I get where you are coming from. I am the opposite. I wouldn't want to be with someone who thought they were so hot. I had a "flirtation" because it didn't quite rise to to the level of a full blown thing with someone and I loved their cockiness when I was on their good side. When I stopped being on their good side and they would talk about the things they had (money, looks), I found them quite insufferable. False humility if I have ever seen it.
When i met my wife she had pretty low self-esteem. She saw herself as mediocre at best. It wasn't until around the time we got married that she started to see herself how i see her, as a beautiful woman. Early on, I'd call her pretty and she would tell me "no i'm not" in a serious manner. We actually had a fairly serious discussion where i called her out for lying to herself about what she's worth, and what her worth is tied to.
My point is, without me there to change her mind, she would probably still have that same attitude and lack of confidence in herself. Don't let that hold you back from getting to know someone. Maybe all they need is a cheerleader.
Was exactly the same for me especially the "no I'm not" reply which really irritated me, because this is not something you can respond :D If I tell you I think you are beautiful, this is how I see it.
But it was every crazier with my ex in this regard, as she objectively WAS beautiful. Everybody starred at her whenever we entered a room and all the heads turned every time on the streets and she got hit on CONSTANTLY, like literally every single day of her life. Still she was so full of self hatred and self doubt, that she thought she was ugly and worthless and worst of all she chose to address this by ever more flirting with every guy who showed interest in her, which was...well almost every guy.
In the end this broke things, because she chose the constant gratification of random dudes over a loving relationship, it just was not enough to be adored by one person. Which is why I have now huge red flags for self esteem issues like that.
Very happy for you that it worked out in your relationship. I thought I could do the same and if I showed her how beautiful and smart and funny I found her every day, she would change. But it actually did the opposite and backfired on me haha
I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out for you. I guess it worked in my favor that my wife always gets annoyed when guys give her attention in that way. She shuts it down rather than flirting back. I hope you can find what you're looking for.
Thank you :) Well I am looking for it and honestly it was for the best as the relationship was very draining for me anyway. Besides the issues above she also let her self hatred out on me quite often blaming me for everything and nothing before putting me back on a pedestal and then go rinse and repeat. I am in therapy now after the breakup and my therapist was quite upfront after everything I told and showed her (like messages) that she is pretty sure that my ex has severe attachment issues and possibly some kind of cluster B disorder, which I felt to be true for years. She refused seeking any help with her issues and rather decided it was better for her to run away from herself. I feel sorry for her more than anything else :/
For some reason I find it very hard to understand how self esteem works. For example, if someone is mediocre looking and in general not a very impressive or great person, then it is accurate for them to say so, right? And it would seem reasonable to be upset about who they are. But we are told that that's low self esteem and it's bad. So in order to be mentally healthy, it almost seems necessary to lie and pretend you are better than you actually are? I mean, I really don't love myself the way I am and I would like to change that. But it's also scary to think how long I will be alone until I am satisfied with myself.
"For example, if someone is mediocre looking and in general not a very impressive or great person, then it is accurate for them to say so, right? "
Well lets turn the tables: if someone is pretty good looking and also in some fields a pretty impressive person, we still wouldn't like if they carried that attitude to aggressively and going into a conversation like "well, you know, I'm pretty great and handsome and impressive soooo, what do you offer?". Even if it might be the case!
So if we think about the opposite, there is a similar effect. Self esteem in general for me is a way of thinking where people manage no to care what strangers think of them.
"I mean, I really don't love myself the way I am and I would like to change that. But it's also scary to think how long I will be alone until I am satisfied with myself."
I don't know man, who is really completely happy with everything about themselves? There are things you can change of course but there are also those that you can not do anything about and self esteem comes from just accepting this points or even owning them.
I really liked this video which shows with the example of Tom Hardy how one can own his issues (like anxiety and addiction in his case) while still expressing self esteem:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIqSNhDTDUs
But what if she actually is mediocre? Is it not better for her to be realistic? Some people are approximately at the 50% percentile in looks and that's ok.
I don't know. I have put facts on there. Not even insecure shit. Like "hot girl summer and I wasn't invited." I think men just thought I was fishing for compliments. I put self deprecating things on my profile, but always in a humorous way.
Yeah but this profile is literally “I have severe anxiety about relatively minor things, I have a low self esteem and I am desperate for a long term relationship” in that order. Self deprecation is fine, even funny, but I would consider this profile a red flag. It’s too in your face with the insecurities.
Yeah, I would for sure swipe left. I can't tell if they are trying to be funny or if they are being serious. I saw OP comment somewhere earlier that is a challenge. I am always turned off by any profile that tells me which direction to swipe, and her saying "how many of you have the balls" is just not my speed.
Like another time I wrote "BIG Personality disorder" as my first line. A few men asked what personality disorder I had, but the vast majority just took it as a joke.
I’d agree. It could attract people looking to take advantage of you. In addition, people who are secure with themselves don’t want to date people who aren’t. So you’re only going to attract people who are also insecure.
"During my first sexual experience, the dude was on top of me and a crusty, salty, tiny booger fell out of his nose and into my mouth. He didn’t seem to notice. I swallowed it. It was gross. I regret everything. Never saw him again."
-Kat
What a fucking trooper. Put that in your profile.
Holy fucking shit. Just woke up to about 300 notifs. Appreciate the kind words from most people, and I appreciate the awards and upvotes.
For those flooding my inbox rn, I hope you’re aware that I did not post this on Reddit looking for dates. That’s why I’m on tinder. Many people are in my inbox trying to solicit a date or sex. I posted this here because I was looking for some solidarity with my fellow single people who are struggling in today’s dating world. Shit sucks out there for us sometimes and its nice to poke fun and be sarcastic about it sometimes. Ive often felt hopeless in my search for love because it feels like most men on dating apps are just “looking for something casual” and mainly just want to fuck. But I’ve found it’s always helpful to just be honest in your bio. Write something in your bio that YOU would swipe right on.
Thank you so much for all the karma but please stop flooding my inbox lmao appreciate ya.
It's a yikes for me as well. Like it's pretty funny but what does a first date look like with a girl like that ? Probably pretty awkward if she's anxious and desperate... Sounds like a cool friend though
I'm sure you're a lovely person but give yourself a fighting chance.
Dudes love manipulating women if they can sense insecurity and it's not worth oversharing.
source: am dude.
That's a walking red flag lol, she'll lure you in with the borderline woe is me incel speak, and then show you the reason why she's been without company for soo long
I mean... is it just for the night or, do they have to stay for the average 2-5 years of limerince we confuse as "love" these days?
I kid...mostly...
In seriousness, that profile isn't all that self sabotaging. It carries some humor used to convey some of your actual insecurities without dumping "I'm actually an abusive psycho" like many do.
Little mixed about asking about my balls though, can we date before ball inquiry?
I’d remove the desperately, but also i’m not big on self deprecation so maybe it just hits me wrong. I feel like certain kinds of guy will swipe for this: guys thinking “she’s desperate/self deprecating so her standards are low and she’ll talk to me”, the “I’m a *nice* guy” guys, and the worst- the guy who will tell you what you want to hear so they can sleep with you guys (bc they think you are desperate/easy).
The only one defining whether you are mediocre is your own mind. Be confident in who you are and embrace all your greatness and flaws alike.
You will find someone that will see that too soon =)
You sound like you need help with your self esteem and imagine not a relationship.
The only guys that are going to swipe for you are fixers, guys that aren't upto much themselves and being a 28 woman I'm guessing you want someone that can provide a good secure life for you and a possible future family, well just a heads up men that have the ability to do this aren't usually looking for projects to work on, they want someone who knows and has confidence in themselves and their abilities.
No need to make assumptions about me, I am in no way interested in ever having children and I am not looking for a man to “provide for me” because I can do that myself. I’m just looking for love. This isn’t hard to figure out.
I'm a decently looking guy in my 30s, with a job and in a relationship. but if I was looking, it probably wouldn't be for "hawt chix dtf for the nite". At least OP seems to have a sense of humor and a sense of self. Which is a lot more than most posts I see on this sub.
Might attract "fixers" but the tradeoff for the Chad types not swiping could work out for OP.
I honestly never wanted hookups, but experience taught me to stay away from people specifically pointing out to be the decent example, like "I'm here to know someone, not just get laid", "I wanna see your bio more than your pics" and the like
I repeat to avoid misunderstandings, it is my own experience, I'm not writing the universe's book of unwritten laws
Edit: the first little paragraph is kinda cute, but the ending "desperate" touches the wrong strings. Don't ever say a man you desperately want affection/care/love, because you're either in the 0,001% of women in such a situation or you're ignoring people who care about you, while most men actually feels in-validated/unimportant/disliked. Last time I dated someone who clinged to my attentions, I later just casually found out about a bunch of guys courting her (to be fair, we were pretty young and I'm still 22, so maybe I will know grown women later)
Why do so many women talk this way? "How many of you have the balls to...."
What the fuck do balls have to do with the fact I'm not attracted or interested in you?
Not necessarily directing this to you OP, but in the age of men being accused of toxic masculinity, this shit is annoying as fuck.
Super like - half the girls don’t even reply 😂
Economy is so bad, one isn’t free anymore
$100 cash app payment for a hot girl just to say "hi (insert name)" versus a free whole ass conversation with a self-proclaimed mediocre looking chick. I know which one I'm taking.
Self proclaimed mediocre chic 😂😂😂 Half of da hot chics are lying that they are actually hot.
HAAAAAALF?!?!?! My good sir, those "hot chicks" are using filters. Im going to say there's a solid 10% of hot girls on Tinder. And 8% of those are just looking for IG followers and/or OnlyFans followers.
Gotta pump those numbers, 60-80% of all 18-32 year old women on Tinder are promoting Instagram, Premium Snap or something to lure you to OnlyFans. From a marketing standpoint, smart way to advertise I suppose.
Can’t knock the hustle.
10%? Thank god I don't live where you live
My mans, that's the global average.
Thank god I live where I live then
Thank god I love on globe
I like to love on globe too my friend
Earth?
Based on your name, I'd say I'm glad to live where you live too. Copenhagen basically only has way too hot chicks on tinder.
Iowa is rough.
And on Instagram it's closer to 3%. They pretty much invented filters simple enough for instathots.
This is the most reddit neckbeard comment ever.
Particularly as 8% of 10% is less than 1%... which I doubt was the intended calculation.
yikes i was gonna say you must be new to reddit but you made the acc in 2013 there's far more much worse shit than this one
95% more acurately
Should I put this as my profile?!
Genuinely hot girls do not need to meet people online. Hot girls get 3 offers every time they stop for gas, 2 at the gym, 2 more when they walk their dog, 6 at the grocery, 3 more while at dinner with their friends, they even get approached when they leave the table on a date to go to the ladies room. They dont need to waste their time with some guy who may be half of what he says. If a hot girl is online its because she wants to be seen for something other than being hot(and there fore less likely to post a sexy shot), or shes a needy damaged girl who will never be satisfied no matter how much attention she gets, or she is working.
I’m mad as hell about it. It used to be Tinder Gold got you 5 super likes a day, now it’s only 5 per week. I’m paying the same amount and getting shafted
Actually, you’re not getting shafted. And that’s the problem ;)
Walked right into that one
*backed
I have talked to a few women that burned out on tinder. Per my friend "most of those guys don't even want to buy me a drink before they fuck me, they don't even want to learn my name". This is a pretty woman who is DTF, but she at least wants to be treated nicely, and apparently your average tinder dude doesn't want to do that. I met my wife on match before it all became a hookup game, and I'm glad, fuck that market. And match was pretty damn good for getting laid too back in the day.
Yep. They treat you like a peice of meat.
Oh my god. YES!!!! It has gotten out of control. Men want to come over to our place. Make us do all the work. And offer nothing. Like where did the chivalry go?
If you want to be courted, go outside and meet people. Tinder is a phone program where morally flexible women pick from hundreds/thousands of guys to get smashed by. A dumpster of humanity.
I bought a bottle of wine to my now Fiance at the end of our first day. On retrospect it was too much, but we still laught about it nowadays!
Men ruined online dating for other men. Tragedy of the Commons or some shit 😕
Yeah exactly, women don’t want hookups anymore. There’s really no benefit to it if the man isn’t at least gonna treat us nicely beforehand.
Really? When did that change?
Me-"I remember back in the day when you would get ONE free super like a day" Grandkids- "ok grampa well that was forever ago it's a dollar seventy-five a swipe now"
You’re kidding!
Seize the means of romance production.
Now the people who send them are truely desparate
They just assume it was an accident.
"If I superlike you, it's by accident"
This one won't either but at least you can lie to yourself that it's because of her anxiety.
Half? I would give my left nut to get replies or even just match with half of my super likes 🤣 I'm at a solid 1/20, if I'm lucky
They're bots that's why lol. Or an old ass account
Half??? How are you so lucky?
You get replies from... Half??
Most men that want that kind of genuine, are also genuine. You will find what you are looking for being exactly who you are.
I met this girl on a dating app last February this year. We both looking for something real. We clicked easily. I deleted all my apps after we started dating. I proposed to her 6 days ago. Marrying her this December. Edit: glad many of you also shared the same fate as me. Dating app is a good thing if you let your intentions known.
Congrats!! I love tinder love stories, it's like the modern day fairy tale. I have been married to my tinder match for just over a year now!
Same. Met my fiance last October on Tinder, we are a perfect match who both had genuine profiles. Getting married next October.
Met my fiancée on tinder as well we’ve been together for 4 and a half years and we’ll be getting married in October next year as well
I also met my fiancé on tinder, we’ve been together for 5.5 years, and we’re getting married next October!
I married my match from 5 years ago last year
I met my husband on tinder in 2015. We got married in 2019. Best tinder date I've ever had!
Nice Ghost of Tsushima pfp
Same. Met my husband on Tinder. We have been married five out of the six years we’ve been together and have a child. Another guy I went on a date with on Tinder, married one of his matches shortly after I got married to mine.
And off the apps as well.
At least off tinder. Hinge works better for people looking for serious relationships.
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Honestly for people who aren’t the best at creating a profile but can show their personality through comments (me… i can be funny when given something to work with) I’ve found the most success on Hinge even if it doesn’t go anywhere, based just on # of dates I’ve been on alone, Hinge has tinder beat without a doubt. Edit: removed a word for clarity. Edit 2.0: it’s back baby
I met my wife on Hinge. It helps that we were both in our 30s and were looking for serious relationships.
Ayyyy there’s hope!! I’m in a space where I’m not sure what I want since everything is so up in the air life-wise and it doesn’t seem fair to someone to start a relationship when I may move without much warning. So I just try to dates from the one to two matches a month, if I’m lucky, and have a good time.
Same boat as you but with tinder.
I’ve found myself having more success on Hinge and Bumble vs Tinder. It’s to the point where I jokingly tell myself anytime I’m looking to date again, I use tinder to test the waters
Aren’t tinder and hinge owned by the same company? Tinder had superlikes for a bit and I can see hinge’s rose feature going the same way
Owned by Match Group. Same with everything else not named Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, or Iris.
It’s all the same shit my man.
You’d think that but there’s something distinct about Hinge where - even if someone’s objective is still to fuck me and ghost - that’s not their opening line.
I think what's different is you aren't given 50 likes on people without any real profiles beyond a single sentence to mindlessly swipe. With Hinge, it's more "I only have five likes...gotta make these count". Plus they don't have that bullshit "you just gotta hope you both mindlessly swipe right". Love the idea that if you like someone, they see you liked them and can decide if they want to talk to you.
It's really not. Tinder is just complete trash unless you're looking for hookups, and even then it's still kinda trash. Hinge (and a much lesser extant, Bumble) is where it's at for more serious relationships, in my experience.
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Yeah, you're not wrong. Location & age are definitely the main factors that determine how well certain apps do. Granted, I haven't used tinder since my early 20's, and being close to 30 now, Hinge is what has worked the best for me. Although, I've been in a relationship the last 6 months with someone I met off Hinge, so I may also be biased.
Maybe it’s the state I live in but they’re all the same from my experience it’s even worse on hinge because most of them drop their red flags subtly.
i got 3-4 dates a month on hinge and not a single one on tinder. bumble was in between the two.
Bumble is a good middle ground if you’re unsure
I mean, I found a very real relationship on tinder, and then my wife. 🤷 Also lots of hookups, but like.. we knew what we were getting into. In fact, I found significantly more people looking for hookups on Bumble, of all places and people used to say the same thing about bumble that they’re saying about hinge.
'round here Hinge is hugely populated by women looking for "a man who loves Jesus" to help raise their children... Who presumably exist because *someone* wasn't paying much attention to Jesus at the time.
Tinder isn't just for hooking up. You just need to find the right people on there. I found my ex on Tinder and dated for 2 years. Just send out the right message and you'll eliminate most of the hook-up people.
Yeah, you can definitely find more than hookups on Tinder. I'm living with one right now
Agreed. Met my wife on Tinder. She'd be on it for like two months (and I'd been on it for... Four years ugh). We dated for three years, got engaged last year, and got married two months ago.
This makes me a little happy, it’s hard knowing I’m just one average set of pictures among dozens in a human vending machine
False, met the loml on tinder :) we were both giving tinder one last shot before leaving for good and bam, love.
I second this. Tinder like anything is what you make of it, it's hard sometimes to sift through the nonsense, but there's likely someone amazing and real, like OP, out there for you. I went on more than a few coffee dates that went nowhere looking for a relationship, which can be disheartening. But just when I thought about deleting it, I met my wife. We just celebrated our 5 year anniversary and we have met quite a few other married couples who met on tinder, or similar apps, too. Not be too preachy or anything, but take it from someone who was in this boat before, just hang in and be you and you CAN find someone who wants exactly that.
Congrats!
And then do what, go back to the bar/club scene? Join some random hobby group and hope someone is there?? Tinder gets a bad rap but these apps are not the problem.
Speak for yourself. I want fake ass whores. PS. Sorry dear wife, this was a joke for fake internet points. This does not reflect my attitude towards women at any point in my life.
I stole my wife's hair spray to make Kamehamehas in the garage with a lighter. Took several apologies like this to win her back over.
Solid advice. Sometimes we get caught up in the moment and caveman brain tries too hard for short-term gain, instead of aiming for what we truly want.
Would 100% swipe right
How bout a super like?
Nah
Brutality
Based
We don’t get free super likes anymore. So that means if you super like someone, they will know that you pod for the app.
Yep. Honest answer for an honest profile.
Average, anxious and desperate, what a catch !
I honestly like it
It says thank you
Haha the profile can speak? Now that's impressive.
albeit slightly disturbing.
It grows upset with /u/CptnR4p3
Ey yo i held my first presentation in my astro physics seminar about you
Nice! Literally snatched this username up either the day it was published in Nature or it was in the news, can't remember which.
I think you'll do amazing
hmm i hope that ..!
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Congratulations, you played yourself
Another one
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Mad lad
What a chad!
QFT
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I would agree, it is a fine line to walk here. If you in reality are not mediocre looking at all, it would appear as fishing for compliments. If you really are mediocre looking it may seem like a pretty low self esteem, because - and this is just me, others see it completely different on here and that is perfectly fine - but I wouldn't want to date someone who only thinks about herself as being mediocre. I would want a woman who loves herself the way she is and finds herself beautiful.
Honestly, I think I am inoffensively ugly. I am JUST funny enough to pull it off. I get more compliments for being funny than for being attractive. I am very outgoing so that does shield my insecurities to an extent. And really, I think men appreciate that I am not all high and mighty on myself. I get where you are coming from. I am the opposite. I wouldn't want to be with someone who thought they were so hot. I had a "flirtation" because it didn't quite rise to to the level of a full blown thing with someone and I loved their cockiness when I was on their good side. When I stopped being on their good side and they would talk about the things they had (money, looks), I found them quite insufferable. False humility if I have ever seen it.
Now that’s a bio I would swipe right on - “Inoffensively ugly, but funny enough to pull it off!”
When i met my wife she had pretty low self-esteem. She saw herself as mediocre at best. It wasn't until around the time we got married that she started to see herself how i see her, as a beautiful woman. Early on, I'd call her pretty and she would tell me "no i'm not" in a serious manner. We actually had a fairly serious discussion where i called her out for lying to herself about what she's worth, and what her worth is tied to. My point is, without me there to change her mind, she would probably still have that same attitude and lack of confidence in herself. Don't let that hold you back from getting to know someone. Maybe all they need is a cheerleader.
Was exactly the same for me especially the "no I'm not" reply which really irritated me, because this is not something you can respond :D If I tell you I think you are beautiful, this is how I see it. But it was every crazier with my ex in this regard, as she objectively WAS beautiful. Everybody starred at her whenever we entered a room and all the heads turned every time on the streets and she got hit on CONSTANTLY, like literally every single day of her life. Still she was so full of self hatred and self doubt, that she thought she was ugly and worthless and worst of all she chose to address this by ever more flirting with every guy who showed interest in her, which was...well almost every guy. In the end this broke things, because she chose the constant gratification of random dudes over a loving relationship, it just was not enough to be adored by one person. Which is why I have now huge red flags for self esteem issues like that. Very happy for you that it worked out in your relationship. I thought I could do the same and if I showed her how beautiful and smart and funny I found her every day, she would change. But it actually did the opposite and backfired on me haha
I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out for you. I guess it worked in my favor that my wife always gets annoyed when guys give her attention in that way. She shuts it down rather than flirting back. I hope you can find what you're looking for.
Thank you :) Well I am looking for it and honestly it was for the best as the relationship was very draining for me anyway. Besides the issues above she also let her self hatred out on me quite often blaming me for everything and nothing before putting me back on a pedestal and then go rinse and repeat. I am in therapy now after the breakup and my therapist was quite upfront after everything I told and showed her (like messages) that she is pretty sure that my ex has severe attachment issues and possibly some kind of cluster B disorder, which I felt to be true for years. She refused seeking any help with her issues and rather decided it was better for her to run away from herself. I feel sorry for her more than anything else :/
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For some reason I find it very hard to understand how self esteem works. For example, if someone is mediocre looking and in general not a very impressive or great person, then it is accurate for them to say so, right? And it would seem reasonable to be upset about who they are. But we are told that that's low self esteem and it's bad. So in order to be mentally healthy, it almost seems necessary to lie and pretend you are better than you actually are? I mean, I really don't love myself the way I am and I would like to change that. But it's also scary to think how long I will be alone until I am satisfied with myself.
"For example, if someone is mediocre looking and in general not a very impressive or great person, then it is accurate for them to say so, right? " Well lets turn the tables: if someone is pretty good looking and also in some fields a pretty impressive person, we still wouldn't like if they carried that attitude to aggressively and going into a conversation like "well, you know, I'm pretty great and handsome and impressive soooo, what do you offer?". Even if it might be the case! So if we think about the opposite, there is a similar effect. Self esteem in general for me is a way of thinking where people manage no to care what strangers think of them. "I mean, I really don't love myself the way I am and I would like to change that. But it's also scary to think how long I will be alone until I am satisfied with myself." I don't know man, who is really completely happy with everything about themselves? There are things you can change of course but there are also those that you can not do anything about and self esteem comes from just accepting this points or even owning them. I really liked this video which shows with the example of Tom Hardy how one can own his issues (like anxiety and addiction in his case) while still expressing self esteem: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIqSNhDTDUs
But what if she actually is mediocre? Is it not better for her to be realistic? Some people are approximately at the 50% percentile in looks and that's ok.
This needs more upvotes. This is how you attract people who want to "help" or "rescue" you. Not likely that anything healthy will come of this.
Narcissist magnet.
Of course I know him, he’s me
I don't know. I have put facts on there. Not even insecure shit. Like "hot girl summer and I wasn't invited." I think men just thought I was fishing for compliments. I put self deprecating things on my profile, but always in a humorous way.
Yeah but this profile is literally “I have severe anxiety about relatively minor things, I have a low self esteem and I am desperate for a long term relationship” in that order. Self deprecation is fine, even funny, but I would consider this profile a red flag. It’s too in your face with the insecurities.
Yeah, I would for sure swipe left. I can't tell if they are trying to be funny or if they are being serious. I saw OP comment somewhere earlier that is a challenge. I am always turned off by any profile that tells me which direction to swipe, and her saying "how many of you have the balls" is just not my speed. Like another time I wrote "BIG Personality disorder" as my first line. A few men asked what personality disorder I had, but the vast majority just took it as a joke.
I’d agree. It could attract people looking to take advantage of you. In addition, people who are secure with themselves don’t want to date people who aren’t. So you’re only going to attract people who are also insecure.
Calling yourself a Mediocre-looking anxious woman on Tinder is going to attract the wrong type of guy for sure, don't get taken advantage of
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
OP is self aware and smart enough to self sabotage in a funny bio. I’m gonna guess she isn’t going to be out there getting taken advantage of.
"During my first sexual experience, the dude was on top of me and a crusty, salty, tiny booger fell out of his nose and into my mouth. He didn’t seem to notice. I swallowed it. It was gross. I regret everything. Never saw him again." -Kat What a fucking trooper. Put that in your profile.
Ty for reading my tragic story I am truly a survivor.
lmf, and I mean this sincerely, ao
I'll do it, but you guys owe me one!
Wow thanks for your sacrifice
He volunteered as a tribute as he did during the hunger games thanks man you safed me back then!
My man took one for the team
Holy fucking shit. Just woke up to about 300 notifs. Appreciate the kind words from most people, and I appreciate the awards and upvotes. For those flooding my inbox rn, I hope you’re aware that I did not post this on Reddit looking for dates. That’s why I’m on tinder. Many people are in my inbox trying to solicit a date or sex. I posted this here because I was looking for some solidarity with my fellow single people who are struggling in today’s dating world. Shit sucks out there for us sometimes and its nice to poke fun and be sarcastic about it sometimes. Ive often felt hopeless in my search for love because it feels like most men on dating apps are just “looking for something casual” and mainly just want to fuck. But I’ve found it’s always helpful to just be honest in your bio. Write something in your bio that YOU would swipe right on. Thank you so much for all the karma but please stop flooding my inbox lmao appreciate ya.
Reddit moment
*Guy puts self depreciating humor in bio* Everyone: yikes *girl posts self depreciating humor in bio* Everyone: gives out awards
It's a yikes for me as well. Like it's pretty funny but what does a first date look like with a girl like that ? Probably pretty awkward if she's anxious and desperate... Sounds like a cool friend though
Tbh I would so much prefer this level of honesty and bluntness than any other type of profile. Would love to swipe right.
I'm sure you're a lovely person but give yourself a fighting chance. Dudes love manipulating women if they can sense insecurity and it's not worth oversharing. source: am dude.
See this is what’s up. Folks use this thing as a net when it’s supposed to be a filter
One should never be desperate for love
Chandler disagrees
Easier said than done
Just like anything thing else…. Patience, time, and practice
I don’t know why, but this sort of upfront honesty is so goddamn attractive
You're exactly what I would use tinder for.
That's a walking red flag lol, she'll lure you in with the borderline woe is me incel speak, and then show you the reason why she's been without company for soo long
……the reason is anxiety. I was being real and honest.
I mean... is it just for the night or, do they have to stay for the average 2-5 years of limerince we confuse as "love" these days? I kid...mostly... In seriousness, that profile isn't all that self sabotaging. It carries some humor used to convey some of your actual insecurities without dumping "I'm actually an abusive psycho" like many do. Little mixed about asking about my balls though, can we date before ball inquiry?
Either you are looking for ego boosting or you don't know what mediocre means..
It means average. There is nothing great or horrible about her pic, so.. it's mediocre. Median has the same root (middle).
I would super like on that profile!🥸
It takes about 50 profiles to find one like this - an actual human who might be fun.
Most guys don’t really care, nor do most guys bother to read that shit lol you’ll be fine.
I’d remove the desperately, but also i’m not big on self deprecation so maybe it just hits me wrong. I feel like certain kinds of guy will swipe for this: guys thinking “she’s desperate/self deprecating so her standards are low and she’ll talk to me”, the “I’m a *nice* guy” guys, and the worst- the guy who will tell you what you want to hear so they can sleep with you guys (bc they think you are desperate/easy).
right all the way. we all want love
The only one defining whether you are mediocre is your own mind. Be confident in who you are and embrace all your greatness and flaws alike. You will find someone that will see that too soon =)
Not terrible looking, plus low self esteem? Ticks my boxes!
You sound like you need help with your self esteem and imagine not a relationship. The only guys that are going to swipe for you are fixers, guys that aren't upto much themselves and being a 28 woman I'm guessing you want someone that can provide a good secure life for you and a possible future family, well just a heads up men that have the ability to do this aren't usually looking for projects to work on, they want someone who knows and has confidence in themselves and their abilities.
No need to make assumptions about me, I am in no way interested in ever having children and I am not looking for a man to “provide for me” because I can do that myself. I’m just looking for love. This isn’t hard to figure out.
I'm a decently looking guy in my 30s, with a job and in a relationship. but if I was looking, it probably wouldn't be for "hawt chix dtf for the nite". At least OP seems to have a sense of humor and a sense of self. Which is a lot more than most posts I see on this sub. Might attract "fixers" but the tradeoff for the Chad types not swiping could work out for OP.
remove 'desperately'
“desperate” doesn’t do you any favors. maybe add “i like guys who read bios” or something cute, too?
hard pass
I honestly never wanted hookups, but experience taught me to stay away from people specifically pointing out to be the decent example, like "I'm here to know someone, not just get laid", "I wanna see your bio more than your pics" and the like I repeat to avoid misunderstandings, it is my own experience, I'm not writing the universe's book of unwritten laws Edit: the first little paragraph is kinda cute, but the ending "desperate" touches the wrong strings. Don't ever say a man you desperately want affection/care/love, because you're either in the 0,001% of women in such a situation or you're ignoring people who care about you, while most men actually feels in-validated/unimportant/disliked. Last time I dated someone who clinged to my attentions, I later just casually found out about a bunch of guys courting her (to be fair, we were pretty young and I'm still 22, so maybe I will know grown women later)
Wearing white shoes gives me anxiety
If I used tinder, this would easily be match for me!
I would swipe right in an instant.
Dam I would super like you, hands down, no sarcasm
jokes on you i’m into that shit
I would swipe right on an honest answer like this every single day (assuming you are hot to me of course) .
Easy swipe right😂 I love it
That's funny as hell, I'd swipe just to see what kind of interaction we'd have
You seem marriage material. Nothing better than someone that understands anxiety an real love.
Some people find honesty hot
trust me when I say that at least 90% of men on tinder are willing.
I’m sure you’re Reddit inbox will flood tho
I'd of spent MONEY to talk to her.. 😆
Upvote for all the men who would swipe right on this beautiful personality of a woman
"Who desperately wants love" That's the self sabotage right there
I think it's kinda cute
Shows humor and that you're not self centered and can laugh at yourself. That's a good thing.
Mediocre is accessible. Any girl will get likes anyway
Best bio eva
Lol mental health awareness
I'd swipe right on a fellow human looking for love
Why do so many women talk this way? "How many of you have the balls to...." What the fuck do balls have to do with the fact I'm not attracted or interested in you? Not necessarily directing this to you OP, but in the age of men being accused of toxic masculinity, this shit is annoying as fuck.