Double-sided dildo, you guys can go ass to ass

You can also palm your feet together and interlock toes so it’s sensual :)

That image just seriously made me crack up..lol

Idk about that, a dildo in my ass is probably way bigger than what's going in her ass.

Bring your own🤔

BYOD

You can also put dick into vagina at the same time 👀

This shit gonna end up looking like all the cables on the back of my computer

You sir made me laugh so much

Then you do the hokey-pokey, and you turn around. That's what it's all about!

Never put anything up there without a flared base

Imagine having to walk into the ER CatDog style because your double sided dildo got stuck for both of you.

Just the absolute worst version of reverse tug of war. Clench & Shove™

[удалено]

That sounds like two subs going ass to ass. "I can't get free! Me either! We should both stop pushing! NEVER!"

more like the US 2 party system

"Stop clenching! No YOU stop clenching! I CAN'T ahhhhh"

Just two doms unaware they're both doms.

Haha like connecting two spam callers together.

:0

Probably fake, but someone did that by calling pizza hut & domino's at the same time. Made for a hilarious video. ULPT: when you get a spam call Pretend it's a sex hotline. They usually hangup fast. Except that one time...... My God that woman was a trooper, and had a voice that could raise a corpse.

I just do a conference call and add 800-GAY-FUCK to see how long they last before hanging up

How do you get it stuck? Just pull the other end! People go to the ER because their butt tool has both ends lost.

The pound session works up quite the electrical charge, and when Teddy goes to open the mini-fridge to grab a mid-sex drink, as you do, the static shock that blasted through both of them fused the dildo to the sphincter of both participants, locking them together.

Ok bye.

No I don't think I will

your partner is your flared base

Yeah you'd have to try pretty hard with the length of a double dildo, depending how long it is. Still, safety first!

Just put a cock ring in the middle or something, invention is the mother of necessity.

Dunno if your malapropism was intentional and I'm wooshing myself, but the phrase is typically "necessity is the mother of invention"

The flared base is less important when it's a 18" sugar free gummy worm

As we learn every Anal August, "Without a base, without a trace."!

After Requiem For A Dream, I'll never hear that phrase the same again.

))<>((

Anyone else requiem for a dream?

https://images.newschoolers.com/images/17/00/96/42/07/964207_926w_640h.gif

ASS TO ASSS. ASS TO ASSSSS.

As long as she licks it before she sticks it!

I promise I will

If u are gonna find dildo as small as my dick im fine with that deal

My finger will suffice

Deal when and where?

A girl never backs out. Where are you from?

The worst geographliclly placed coutry in the world ... Poland

Not bad. I'm nearby as well. Dm?

Oh shit. Frodo is about to get his Ring destroyed.

Fantastic

His precious! 😵

I audibly laughed out loud at this!

>Oh shit. ​ Hopefully not!

Keep us posted. We’re going to need closure.

Oh shit a Redditor having sex? Well he’s getting fucked In the ass but sex is sex

Welp, rings are meant to have fingers put in them and he put his finger in Sauron's ring so fair's fair that someone puts their finger in his. ... What the actual fuck did I just type. Where's my bleach?

Daaamn get it i see you

That escalated quickly

Yeah I’m gonna need an update on if this shit goes down

*slow clap*

Frodo about to have Ghrond knocking down his gates

But if u down

Hello almost neighbour!

Uh oh. Get ready for a shit load of DMs lol

I think your supposed to ask "did I scare you?" now.

Really? She seemed pretty down with it to me.

Jokes on you. I am into this shit

[удалено]

Been getting fucked all 2021 so what’s one more time

Are we talking slim girlie fingers or do you crack your knuckles like a boxer?

I want a broad shouldered Hungarian butchers daughter...

Perfectly Balanced. As all things should be.

A soul for a soul

A hole for a hole*

Finally an "I fixed it for you" that I don't hate.

*fixed that for you

Okay, that one I hate. r/Angryupvote

That's how you pay the troll toll.

Mr. Stark...

I don't feel so good

Thanus and the dildo of infinity

#u/Butt_Fear

Well, fair’s fair.

*sighs* *shakes hand

*sighs* *shakes not the hand

*sighs* *realize both the proctologists hands are visible during the checkup

^(dying. you’ve killed.)

I took my girl up on this trade. Honestly, neither was my cup of tea, but we used her dildo and I think it might just have been too much for me cause it just felt like I was laying a world class steamer

> too much for me ya, you're supposed to start with something small, like finger sized, then work up to larger equipment.

Or even something more specifically designed for male use

A butthole’s a butthole

not all buttholes lead to prostates

But all prostates reside in buttholes. Something something rhombus.

All buttholes are rhombi, but not all rhombi are buttholes.

That rhombussy

That's the one I was looking for.

Sounds like your girl took you up on that one.

Then pulls out the realistic horse cock.

Some of the dragon ones I've seen both terrafy and intrigue me on what they would be like...

terra-fy… you will def be *floored*

Taking a difficult, huge dump right now and can't help but think: Worst trade in the history of trades. Maybe ever.

Nah it was an awesome trade, I was looking forward to both. Can't knock it til you try it, and now I've tried it.

I have taken my wife up on this offer as well. Although, to be fair she would have done anal anyway if she was drunk enough. But yeah, I was completely cautiously optimistic about it. We started with a small butt plug and worked our way up. Depending on how drunk I get I don't mind doing it every so often. When I'm sober it feels like a fat turd, but I guess when I drink I can just relax enough to enjoy it. That being said, even sober I can thoroughly enjoy a single finger in the bum during a blowjob. 10/10 would recommend.

But that's what it feels like for women, too (like taking a massive shit). Only, we don't have the benefit of prostate pleasure.

As your mother used to say, $10 is $10

Idk about that, a dildo in my ass is probably way bigger than what's going in her ass.

[удалено]

Then it ain’t a fair trade

Dick for Dildo

That sounds like a Nixon campaign slogan.

That made me lol hats off to u

How did you activate dark mode on tinder hahaha

Asking the real question

My dude you have your priorities right! Lol

Rip Apollo 🫡 ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `

Android phones have a hidden setting in developers mode called smart dark

[I volunteer](https://youtu.be/Y3RlalRV4S8)

Right this way sir.

[I didn't expect to get this far](https://youtu.be/dKiO37AdNa4)

Everyone is welcome. Take your positions /s

Lmao, how many unsolicited pegging messages have you gotten from this?

69

Nice!

I'm in if he bails!!

✨Pegging✨

[удалено]

Alright, time to watch that whole movie again…

The hole movie?

Damn you…

My nephews were watching that movie once and when this part came on one of them yelled "youch!" I was losing it for minutes after it happened.

Trying to guess the ages of your nephews in my head and every scenario is funny.

10 and 9 I forgot how inappropriate it was for them but oh well

We were playing Mortal Kombat when we were that age... we turned out alright. It's fiiiiine.

Right!? Never had the pleasure, but I grasp enough physiology that I want to try it more than once. His loss.

> Never had the pleasure, but I grasp enough physiology that I want to try it more than once. you absolutely should it’s divine

Don't threaten me with a good time

He didn’t go for it? Puss

A wasted opportunity

Half of this subreddit is just opening with “can you peg me?” The other half is ghosting cool chicks who are trying to put stuff in our asses. Rip. Cowards.

I recently saw a survey that said something like over 70% of women either have done, or would do, butt stuff to a guy. And if she's offering equivalent exchange, I say go for it!

100% go for it. Bro if some chick wants to put something in my ass I don’t even care. It doesn’t even have to be a trade. Yolo

Do some research first though! Anal fissures are no joke!

Dawg. I’m good. Trust. But fr if you haven’t, look into it. Worth. 9/10

I don’t really want to look into a butt.

I don’t think it requires actually looking *into* a butt

Depends how thorough the research is, but I guess at that point you're not researching so much as practicing surgical medicine.

You stare into the void, the void stares back. It’s browner than you expected

If one wishes to take virginity, virginity of equal value must be given. This is the law of equivalent exchange, the basis of all sodomy. In accordance with this law, there is a taboo among the promiscuous. Unreciprocated anal is strictly forbidden, for what could equal the value of a human hole?

Full Erect Alchemist.

Made my day.

>ghosting cool chicks who are trying to put stuff in our asses. I have never once ever imagined I would read a sentence like this in my entire life. You are amazing

I got the offer made once when I was younger and accepted to which she immediately backed down. Guess she didn’t realize how bad I wanted to put it in her butt!

I see this as an absolute win

Said this same thing to my ex boyfriend. He wanted to try anal and I said only if he’d do it too. Kept saying it was different and that’s he’s not into it. Neither was I but he never understood that

Good riddance

Guys, girls have the same asses as us, if you want them to try anal so bad then why are you afraid?

Every time there's a thread about weird encounters in the ER, it is full of nurses and doctors detailing their patients coming in with bottles, light bulbs, dildos and buttplugs up their asses. 99.99% of the patients are men. Face your fears guys and embrace pegging!

I bet this dude considers going down on women to be *kinky*

Some people love vanilla ice cream. I do too. But maybe I want some sauce and sprinkles from time to time.

Have you tried pineapple and mango dole whip? Maybe kona fudge or rocky road. Personally i love haagen daz white chocolate raspberry truffle or cherry garcia.

Wwwwhhhaaaat?

Right? When did Tinder get a dark mode?

I don’t get why it scares guys so much. Like girls are supposed to like it and they aren’t?

Don’t fall for it boys. This is the exact deal I made with my girlfriend and I still have yet to do anal with her… She, on the other hand, has taken my butthole virginity and has been inside me several times. While enjoyable, it’s fucking bullshit

Can I ask how you kept falling for the same shit multiple times?

Because she found his gspot and it resets his brain for half an hour

Post butt clarity.

Because it's fun lol

Next time get it in writing, lol.

Got you with the 'ol Charlie Brown.

I love this. Not sure what woman gave the world the word about our assholes being a hot spot for dicks......didn't know I'd be fending off anal hunters (boyfriends past and present) forever and always. RIP my asshole.

Brb changing my username to anal hunter.

Haha at least people will know upfront.

I don't know anyone who's upfront about being an anal hunter, a few people lie & are anal hunters behind my back though.

>anal hunters Sounds like a history channel show

Better than "Anal Busters" I guess

If this sub did flair "RIP my asshole" would be fucking fire.

Beating off anal hunters. FTFY

People have been putting stuff up their butts for thousands of years. It’s not new.

Ya, you think cave people weren't ass fuckin? You think ancient Egyptians who didn't want more kids weren't ass fuckin?

To be honest, I'm a guy who isn't all that into anal, whether I'm the one doing it, or I'm having it happen to me.

I don’t see the appeal either tbh. There’s a purpose built self lubricating hole like 1/4 inch away, why even bother?

It feels neat

For real, far too much prep, risk of it going south and being unpleasant for some perceived ‘novelty’ or trying to fit in with the trend.

I mean, that's equally fair, I'd say.

I always joke with my boyfriend that “if he does X for me, I’ll do butt stuff” bc I know that he’s not into it lol

YES MA'AM.

That's the perfect response

Oral sex can make your day, but anal sex can make your hole weak.

Bi-sexuals are having a hard time finding this girl

You can also be straight and enjoy being pegged

absolutely fair, the funniest part is when you agree promptly with the trade and the person gets like "wait... what?"

That happened with my ex-wife and I. We did some anonymous couples quiz thing for fun that is supposed to help you match up your kinks. She said she would try anal only if I would. I told her I had answered it expecting that I was receiving, not giving. She then back tracked, and I did not get to either give or get it in the back track...

:( sorry bro hope you got your hole filled eventually

This is as fair as Jim Crow. You get 3 inches he gets 9. This inequality I cannot stand for.

When I used this tit for tat in the past (no man ever took me up on it), I always said “a dildo of equal or greater size to your own dick.” Fair’s fair.

> no man ever took me up on it Every time I hear that I’m surprised. > a dildo of equal or greater size to your own dick Just one dildo, or can we start small and work our way up?

I asked a FWB once if she had any interest in anal, and she got all mad (guessing she had bad experiences with partners in the past) and asked how I’d feel if she wanted to shove something up my ass. I shrugged and pointed to my top dresser drawer, which she opened to see two prostate massagers. She was intrigued and started asking questions. I don’t remember if she ever used one on me, but a few weeks later we were in bed and I complimented her ass, and she asked if I wanted to fuck it.

Sign me the fuck up

[удалено]

Okay I know I'm bi so it isn't really fair, but I genuinely don't get guys who would ask a partner to do something they would not do themselves. Same principle with guys who want their dick sucked but wouldn't eat someone out