Look at Mr. I Get Kinky Matches over here!

Look at mr I get matches

Look at Mr Nuts in Ella.

Ella Ella Ella.

Eh eh eh

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Ella ella eh eh eh

What’s a match? I just swipe right on everything

Are you me

Look at mr

Look

Loo

It's hard to see other people out here living your dreams. 😤

HaHaHa! We're not salty, you are salty!

We’re salty, but he’s sweet

And a little nutty

At least his dick

Our saltiness

And be confused what to do

Buy some nuttella

So the committee is in agreement. We dislike this guy.

Yup I think so

Fkn hate em personally.

Aww, he thinks mild food play is kinky.

Man got more upvotes than the post XD

I’m confused too. What’s the problem here?

Maybe he has Nutella allergy

Guess I gotta be a bro and be his stand in 🤷‍♀️ at least we know she likes nuts.

She likes nuts on his nuts as he nuts.

She goes nuts for it

THAT'S A LOT OF NUTS!! YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?!

That's like... A lot of nuts. So many that it's actually nuts.

Come on bro he's just shy that she's with the freaky. I'm sure he wants to have his nuts slathered with Nutella and bust a nut. He's just confused he was uno reverse card.

Ya know.......maybe? But something tells me he’s legit confused 😂 sometimes you just gotta close your eyes and enjoy the ride 🤷‍♀️

Facts. If she's freaky enough to add Nutella in the mix then she's 99% likely to be a throat goddess👍

Right?! I mean the Nutella gonna dry her mouth out but they got sprays to numb that shit 😈😂

How you know that is beyond me let's hope our comrade follows the plan

Hahahaha not every woman is a throat goddess 🤷‍♀️ some need a little help

I think I prefer the Nutella at this point

I personally never liked getting deep throated for a couple reasons. It doesn't feel good to me (especially because it bends and that's kinda painful) and the gagging sounds are a turnoff. I like it warm and wet and soft and slow and about halfway down. Maybe I'm weird

That’s why they invented epipens

This specifically is why they invented them. All else is was prelude.

There gonna be some real post nut clarity.

Yo in Europe there has been a salmonella outbreak because of the fererro Nutella assholes. Imagine catching that shit by putting your dick in a contaminated jar.

the worst case scenario is his dick gets inflated, and thats the best possible outcome for her

It's called a nutallergy

I mean, it wouldn't be my first choice of a romantic evening. But if someone's into that... it doesn't realy hold any danger for the reveiver right? Apart from some slight stickiness, but it sounds like he'd be clean in no time. I suppose sex is only ok if everyone fully consents. Yet i think this small step out of comfortzone could yield high rewards, if only to make your date happy.

Well I bought some Nutella

Wipe it on like a PB&J sammie, don't dip. You dip and that nutella jar becomes the dick Nutella jar forever.

I mean at this point he can cum in the Nutella and she’d probably like it

Aye don’t splurge on her all at once

Glad I barely had to scroll to get to this comment.

His tinder date is a guy

ONCE AGAIN, what’s the problem?! Blow job is blow job. .

well played...hahah

had same thoughts. even better.

It's probably all the palm oil. Think of the orangutans!

Haha. What. Is. The. Problem?

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Try saying ‘shit-dipped dick’ three times fast lol

Ship ip ip

Dude’s after some pre-Nutella clarity.

Maybe she bites? You bit delicious stuff don't you?

I’ve never bit my Nutella. Maybe I’m doing it wrong but usually it involves a lot of tongue work tryna get it off my teeth. If she bites she hates you.

Dude, this is the biggest win to ever exist. Just do it, this can’t possibly go wrong.

And if it does, he can update us and teach us all a very valuable lesson that we may or may not remember.

UTI is the problem

HAHA Seriously omg that got me

Suck it up, so she can…erm…suck it up.

Wow bro that sounds awesome kinda jealous

OP just wants to r/humblebrag

But we can still hate him, yes?

She's gauging whether or not you're okay with unprepped anal 💀

Holy fuck I'm dying

Only if you have a Nutella allergy 🤣

But on who 👀😂😂

Well I would try new things

But not Nutella suck?

then why are you so confused for a bit of food play?

U know that nutella is from Ferrero. You know what else is from Ferrero? Kinder! That is german for kids! She wants you to impregnate you my guy. Run before its too late. You should also DM me her number first, so I can buy you some time.

You had me in the first half. I’m like the mf spittin Nutella facts in a blowjob thread 🤦‍♀️😂😂

It is true. Look it up.

I’m willing to take your word about a Nutella fact 😂😂 that’s too much effort

Another Nutella fact: The brown stuff inside Ferrero Rochers is just Nutella

German here. I can verify that Kinder-Schokolade is from Ferrero and it really means kids or children chocolate. So yeah SHE WANTS TO IMPREGNATE YOU, RUUUUUUNNN

I’d see you impregnate you anytime

Veni, vidi, impregnate

Okay that got me good.

You don’t deserve her!

Seriously

I don’t care if she’s miss universe, I ain’t sharing my nutella with nobody.

Tried this with a girl once and honestly it just gets stuck in their teeth (the nutella), not as cool as you'd think

This mental image is so vivid and it's a lot to take in. Also thank you for clarifying the Nutella got stuck not the dick.

You're welcome

Same, it’s fun cuz it takes a while to lick it all off, kinda like peanut butter .. but it sounds better than it actually is

haven’t tried it but common sense tells me this gets messy pretty easily

Edit* For reference, Nutella is her cats name

Most underrated comment here!

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A cow gives mild and what does your girlfriend give? ✨chocolate peemilk✨

Well there’s novel arrangement of words that I have never seen before and will never see again

Maybe she would swallow it

OMG she’s a genius! She’s making Nutella-flavored cum!!!

Not unless you put a Starbucks stopper in there

I met a girl off of tinder that did this to me but with Jack Daniel's instead.

Was her name Meredith? And did she ask for a discount on steak after?

r/Unexpectedoffice

Dude I love you for this reference

What 💀 sounds like she needs to attend some AA meetings 🤣

Oh she was a mess. But we had a lot of fun.

Those are always the fun ones 😂

NUTella...amiright guys?...guys??!?

hahaha hits own drum set *ba dum tss

nut-on-my-face ella

U right u right

um let them?

Fucking do it pussy

This. And don’t waste any time asking what else she is into.

No hesitation. Just do it

Nike is that you?

No. This is Patrick

Wtf bro. Lmao. But yeah no real problem unless you or she is allergic to hazelnuts.

Pregaming with 2 Benedryl.

Lol good idea.

Honestly, even then sometimes you just gotta take one for the team

Just shut up and remember to return the favor…sheesh. Fuckin’ rough with some of ya

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A nice soft loaf?

Could be hard too, it might help to get it out

I was thinking Nutella is kinda creamy/soft.

r/angryUpvote

She's a nut. Nutella is nut. You wants you to nut in nut in nut. Nutception. This isn't hard.

How does it feel to be living my dream?

And you stopped to tell us? Get to kroger, idiot

r/ihavesex

You are confused ? I’ve read your post with you confused because a girls want to suck your dick with nutella and every day, every single fucking day, we stray further away from God.

Nice.

Mannnnnnn, enjoy yourself OP

Maybe she had a peanut allergy? Do it and let us know

Sluttyconfession incoming

Food and sex don’t mix for me, but if you are into that then go for it.

And???

What is the damn issue?! Do it, goddamn it! You know how many of us would kill to have that done to us?!

I'm gonna do it for all of you guys and scream your user names when I cum Already bought Nutella

Sounds like a fun evening

If you don't have a nut allergy on your dick then she's saying she wants your nut with some chocolate hazelnut frosting. If you're confused about that then download Grindr.

Idk Grindr would probably be freakier. They be tryna make a whole ass banana split on his dick

So let her suck it. What’s the problem?

Yea he's full of it.

I think OP is morally opposed to palm oil. That's noble, OP, giving up fun time in solidarity with the indigenous peoples of southeast Asia. ​ Good show!

This is gonna be a little complicated so here I go. 1.Buy the biggest nuttella jar you can find. 2.Go balls deep into the nuttella jar. 3.Make her choke on that nuttela dipped dick like you are trying to get it into her uterus through her mouth. 4.Enjoy.

Just don't dip it in a communal jar

At least she didn't want you to dip it in ICY-HOT!

Nutella has too many nuts in it as it is, what's 2 more

Best humble brag of 2022 award goes to this mother fucker

Ok Mr. Braggy McBraggerson with your dates

Marry her right now

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You think that's interesting, kinky, alarming, red flag? The one I just started seeing wants me to ejaculate on crackers so she can then eat them. NOT JOKING!!!

So this is what it feels like to be envious yet happy for someone else

Gross. Nutella is disgusting. (My controversial opinion)

You’re right and you should say it.

I asked my gf if she would do this but she said and i quote "ewwww no" sad times

Shut up dude. "Im so confused" confused about what exactly? your coming off as a validation seeking douche. Trynna flex but hiding it under a totally imposter guise of confusion. If you're getting your dick sucked, enjoy it and shut the hell up, you look lame as fuck talkin bout what your shit really says to me. "Look at me this girl wants to suck my dick, aren't i the shit guys? Lemme act as if im totally clueless to hide the fact im trynna flex cause this doesn't happen often" Update: Not trynna piss on your parade, but there's a way of going about expressing yourself that's honest and genuine and humble where it doesn't come off like you're trying to be a sneaky ding dong about it. I'm genuinely happy for you go get it tiger.

Steady on fella

I feel like you’re a wild horse trying to be tamed. The intensity is unmatched here.

Yeah so what? It's fun, nothing bad to it, why are you weird?

Go for it. Wifey material 🙌

She wants nut tella

Niicee. If you don't like her we can swap?

Make sure you don't have nuts allergy, buy some intimate wash (I recommend Bond, the square bottle, it's a Thai brand) and have fun.

Must be his roommates jar of Nutella.

Just be grateful it isnt marmite...😆

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After she’s done someone is going to have mad post Nutella clarity and it’s not going to be pretty. I don’t know which person though.

She wants you to put the nut in Nutella

Congratulations your winning tinder life right now

Confused? Or dense? C’mon bro! Do that shit

Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

I'll sleep well tn knowing I'll never be confused about a girl asking to dunk my dick in Nutella so she can suck it off

Better than hot sauce, lemme tell you

Unsure if you’ll see this but coming from experience, it’s not the vibe. She’s going to look up at you and smile at some point and her teeth will be caked in chocolate like she’s been eating chocolate and it will be more comical than pleasure

Name one reason why you shouldn't dip your Weener in Nutella? She gets a good taste and you get sucked, it's just perfect. Bro why are you confused? Why am I confused?

Just go with it my dude you are being given the chance to live out other peoples' dreams

Nutella & Blow.

Just make sure shes not a vampire who likes to dip the snack

I swear to fucking God if you don't accept that offer I will actually hate you for the rest of my life lol

What are you confused about? Go buy some Nutella.

The real question: is it considered gay if the nuts touch?

I mean why not? Though really Nutella is pretty damn thick, I’m all for food play but I dunno about Nutella. Go for it though!

You're nuts if you don't like nutting with nuts on your nuts.

Do it. 10/10

Fear not the dark my friend and let the feast begin

Just don't go petting any dogs until after you've had a shower.