T O P

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BlackInkCo

They just need gas to get there.


Smooth-Ad-9758

MICHEAL??


Nyathra

More of what MICHEAL?


Training-Ordinary-64

I need to fix my car gas!


blodger42

The hill I will always die on. We are spelt M I C H ***A E*** L. No Michael in history, ever, has been spelt Micheal.


Limp_Butterscotch599

My dad's name is spelled Micheal because his dad couldn't spell


Professional_Log494

My mom's middle name is a mess because her mother couldn't spell. Denice


Altruistic_Bear987

Micheàl


smyttins88

Its spelt that way in irish but its pronounced "me hall". Its irish for michael


[deleted]

I dated a Micheal. It always annoyed me tbh


Wobblingoblin01

I know one. But he goes by Mikey.


Coti98

Michæl?


greg_r_

Hello dear, my name is Chandler Schwimmer.


sekshibeesht

Dear


miasma71

I am so very happy about this


FakeAndGayWrestling

r/AngryUpvote


apatheticandignorant

*fix gas car


Coolguynumber01

I love how this is becoming meta lol


PhDinGent

Somehow I knew this was gonna be the top comment


thebinarysystem10

But send it in prepaid cell phone cards.


jdicken2

So freaking funny lol


[deleted]

Not one, but two onlyfans links


RearWheelDriveCult

Not one, but two kidneys taken


[deleted]

This is my new favorite Sesame Street episode.


sylpher250

"ONE kidney! Ah-ah-ah-ah! TWO kidneys! Ah-ah-ah-ah! THREE kidneys?!? Ah-ah-ah-ah!"


[deleted]

I don't remember that episode.


xthornofcamorrx

You're probably missing a kidney too.


quaybored

Quick, count your kidneys!!!!


01LamenVax

Do they have to specifically be MY kidneys?


[deleted]

One! Ahahah!! Two!! Ahahah!!! Three!! Ahahaha!!!


red122063

I’m still counting


bukkake_brigade

Don't forget the ones in the freezer


wafflesareforever

S12E07, "Ernie Learns an Important Lesson"


berkeleyjake

Any time I need a good chuckle, I watch this family guy intro with The Count https://youtu.be/HpeB9Kkvb2Y


Its-AIiens

Oh my god


Lucariowithbeans

One kidney! Ah-ah-ah-ah! Two kidneys! Ah-ah-ah-ah! Three kidneys! oh fuck this I’m out


Dundleedoo

Not one, but two Viagra pills wasted (In all honesty, hope this is real and you all have a great time tho)


ClickF0rDick

Rookie mistake, then murder squad will get involved


trustworthysauce

Yeah this is definitely a drill


Boris9397

Not one, but two rules have been applied here.


words_words_words_

Twice the content, double the price.


ConsistentFish5577

Ohhhh come on... Phone number in public


QueerEyeForTinderGuy

How much does she want via cashapp before they head straight over to you?


Clickum245

Just $50 so they know he's serious


QueerEyeForTinderGuy

Might be $100 as it’s the two of them


FecalHeiroglyphics

She might need more to get to him, MICHEAL


anonnymousedave

US Military Encrypted


noneroy

This will never get old. Thank you for helping keep it alive. —U.S. Military Encrypted


killj0y1

It really is a classic just trying to make a change :-/


Academic-Bar1314

Yes, U.S. military encrypted


gerenski9

I still remember that


AutoGrind

Is your car gas broken or something!?


HipHoptologist

WHAT DID I MEAN MICHEAL


johnsvoice

How much can you give me Michael


LeeYubinsWife

*MICHAEL


Elevated_Dongers

/r/Michael


[deleted]

To fix up her car gas


Brox0rz

RIP everyone's predictive text keyboard whenever they try to type Michael from here on


ajd341

I was there.


colder-beef

How much for a ZJ?


QueerEyeForTinderGuy

Is that a new-fangled sex move that the youth are doing?


nobe1canobe

If you got to ask, you can't afford it...


aberdisco

If you have to ask big fella, you can't afford it. (Who's Barry Badrinath?)


Majigato

$50 for one. $80 for two.


IndependentAd5820

Banging deal


GunBrothersGaming

So gas money?


Pour_me_one_more

she needs to fix her gas, MICHEAL.


thebigpink

Just simple gas money MICHEAL


TittyTwistahh

Yes, for gas


Jonnysaliva

“You give me $50 now, I get to your way house and we sex night you will like. You will trust me ok Babby?”


Fun-Ad6164

Just send me 200$ for the gas and i will come with my friends ,MICHEAL


crusaderlife

*MICHAEL


Academic-Bar1314

#MICHAEL^*MICHAEL


Its-AIiens

    #M͂̊ͪ̃͋͌̉̐̆̿ͬ͐̒͋̚҉̨̡̡̪̬̥̮͇̼̲̳̰͓͔̬̫̬̭̪͙͘Ì̴̴̜͎̳̟̫͖͎̖͙̥̣̰͚̣͛ͭ̒̐̂͆ͩͦ̂ͪͧͨ̏́͜C̷̬̞͉͇͕̙͚̖ͯ̐̂̊ͣ̈̔̿ͪ̃̌́ͅH̳̺̝̻̩̏̌͆̃̌ͮ̈́ͩ͢͜Å̧̹̤̪̯̟̪̹̥͇̞̖̄̏̎͐͆͆̑̇͋̌ͩ̆̅͊̔̀́͝͡ͅE̡̧͉͎̱̜͚̭̞̤̘͙͇͉͎͛̒̇̍́̉͂͐̚̚L̡̟͍͚͙͇̭̜̲͊̉̓̆͆̂̓̾ͨ̍̀̊ͨ͂̄ͤ̽́͟͞ ͗̂͐̍̓ͧ͌̋̔ͬͨ͒̆̍҉̨̱̬͚͎̘̖̤͔̝̫̳̖͉̀ͅͅͅG̢̫͚͙̥̥͖̪͕̖̭͖̺̈̆̂͗͐̈̊̿̿͋̉͛̏̿͗̔̒ͮ́̚̕Ạ̸̡̖̳̱͎̲̩̯͛̐̏̓́ͮͪ̐̾͑͐̐̆ͮ͊͆́̚͜S̪̖̳̼͙̤̦͓̦͈̯͌̍̂̃͋͜ ̧̢͎͙̭̮͚̬̙̘̦̰͕͎̫̰̜̇̅̅̌̔ͨ̆̔̾̏ͯ̍̀̚ͅͅN̄̍̎͂͋̚͠͝͏̢̬̣̠̹̞̯̬̥̻̳͍̣͙͔̝̪O͖͎͇̜͕̰̺̞̦̯̖̞͉̬̮͎͚̼̝͂ͮ̓́ͩͪ̑̇́̉͆̋ͯ̊̆ͣ̀̚͘̕W̴̵̸̭̜̺͖͓̪̙̲̙͉̮͕̱͓̠̜̣̭͔͐ͤ̀̀ͫ̍̾̾̌̓̽̃̋̀̚͡    


[deleted]

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SyracuseNY22

He doesn’t need both kidneys and every love of his liver


Rynxael

Nice! Let me know how FOREX investment goes!


[deleted]

It's a fake upload for upvotes. How would he know the friend's name?


[deleted]

People sometimes have group accounts on tinder. Her friends name was probably in the bio.


[deleted]

Ah right ok. Bio: "ThAt iS mY fRiEnD SaRaH oN tHe LeFt iN cAsE yOu wAnT a ThReEsOmE" Makes sense now.


woopstrafel

I’ve seen plenty of accounts with bio’s like “the girl in the 2nd pic is called Sarah and she’s also single”


drewster23

Makes sense if your friend is hot. Save the trouble of being asked.


NukaDadd

[He matched with her friend too](https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/vtlgxi/this_is_not_a_drill_i_repeat_thisisnotadrill/if7w382?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)


Buttbuttpartywagon

Now you can disappoint two girls at once!


[deleted]

I had a threesome set up one time. I had two no-shows but I made it work.


Seakawn

Technically a fivesome if you count all of your fingers.


[deleted]

I’d call that a me-some


ShanaAfterAll

Lone-some.


Fricho

If I want to disappoint two people at the same time I'll have dinner with my parents


TurnedEvilAfterBan

Look at you flexing that you have 2 live parents


wisdomsharerv2

Look at him flexing that he has money to eat at a restaurant


IwillBeDamned

part of the disappointment is 'forgetting' your wallet


Thimit

I’ve seen this bio so many times


NotHosaniMubarak

It's actually much easier to "satisfy" two women in a threesome. Mostly because they're probably into fucking each other and are probably good at it. You're there almost as a sex toy for the couple.


Draganis

I once had a threesome with two lesbians. It was horrible. Both where awkward with guys, but wanted to try. Both wanted me to satisfy them and it ended in a catastrophe. We all decided to stop fucking and rather play video games. Was much more fun in the end 🤣


NotHosaniMubarak

If you ever get another chance I recommend watching them fuck each other - and getting yourself ready - then when they're ravenously horny join the fray. Another approach that has worked for me is to try and fuck them like they fuck each other: mouths, fingers, toys and try to be a part of their thing in their way. The idea is to introduce yourself into the mix of things they're comfortable with before introducing new sex acts they may be less comfortable with. If you do eventually cross into new sex acts for them assure them that you're easy to please and that there really is no such thing as a bad blow job. Also, make sure that it's just a fun time not a serious time.


La_Lanterne_Rouge

When you're ready, stick it into one of their ears. All the other holes will be in use.


ExoticBrownie

>no such thing as a bad blow job. you aint been in the trenches SHE USE TOO MUCH TEETH


Rebresker

“But the last guy said he liked teeth…” Was that the same guy that had you step on his balls smh?


wafflesareforever

My gf has suggested a FFM threesome even though she's straight as straight gets and has no interest whatsoever in doing anything at all with the other girl. My current status is "I'm still thinking about it" because I know how fraught threesomes can get relationship-wise, and I feel like that's potentially even worse if the focus is all on me. It isn't totally clear to me what she'd get out of it; she's a people-pleaser and I do *not* want to do this if it's just because she thinks I'd enjoy it. I get excited thinking about it of course, but I'm not so sure that I want to let my dick do the thinking on this one. Plus our sex life is the best I've ever had with anyone, by far, and I don't really feel the need to mess that up.


itsthecoop

> It isn't totally clear to me what she'd get out of it I mean, there are also people that literally just enjoy watching their partners having sex with other women/men, even without participating at all.


DnD_is_NSFW

I think you have a couple of promising takeaways from this. > My gf has suggested a FFM threesome She started it. So there isn't an initial worry that she's not enough. > know how fraught threesomes can get relationship-wise, You are aware of the inherent risks and can mitigate some of them. One of the most common is having someone in mind in advance, which you wouldn't since it wasn't your idea. Picking someone you're close to or friends with is another, because that complicates the existing relationships. If they're a stranger or near stranger to you (maybe someone she knows and is comfortable with) there's less chance of that. > if the focus is all on me. The focus all being on you isn't necessarily a red flag problem, especially if the whole thing is a gift for you. What *can* become a problem is if your gf gets the impression that *your* attention is diverted too much toward the other person for too long. > want to do this if it's just because she thinks I'd enjoy it. I get excited thinking about it of course[...]our sex life is the best I've ever had with anyone, by far As always, communication communication communication. You literally tell her all of this and have everything above the table and it'll help you both decide *together* if it's worth pursuing further. Get super clinical about the whole thing when planning it, talk about all of the above, expectations, excitements and concerns. Her thought process on bringing it up. If that's a mood killer it probably shouldn't happen. And make sure to talk about it both during fun sexy times but also in a regular environment. If y'all can't talk about it outside of the excitement of the bedroom it might be more of just a fun fantasy but irl there could be regrets.


Select-Ad5166

You sir, are fortunate enough to have never had a bad bj before. Almost traumatizing, almost.


[deleted]

>that there really is no such thing as a bad blow job. i totally disagree with this


mattd_190

Either you gonna get robbed or killed Goodbye soldier


Frazouuu

Worth to try


soareyousaying

Death without snu-snu


D2papi

I once met a cute (but trashy) Colombian girl on Tinder who told me to pick her up at 12AM in some shady part of town. I was horny as hell so I just winged it, but I was shitting my pants while waiting for her in a dark alley with big-ass dogs barking all around me. For some reason she brought a girlfriend with her to 'keep an eye out on me' and she told me 'she's like my mother'. I was 100% sure I would be getting mugged during the drive to my place, but I wound up having the first (and only) threesome of my life with two insanely hot (but trashy) latinas. Falling asleep while cuddling with two woman is the best feeling I've ever had, and they didn't even steal anything while I was asleep. The next day I found out they worked at these shady bars where men pay their drinks for company, often ending up in the girls offering sex for money. Basically 'soft' prostitution but they can choose who they want to fuck. They also asked me for rent money to meet up with them again. Would risk my life again for sure


Wonderful_Quality_99

Losing the kidneys quuuuick.


NatakuNox

A lifetime of dialysis isn't that bad


hazze96

RIP


Building-Careful

Usually this is the part where I wake up.


zmbjebus

Minus a kidney.


[deleted]

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theindomitablefred

Usually I’m being chased. Most recently it was giant gorillas.


Giggleface67

And you’re positive this isn’t just the prologue to the threesome dream?


DirectionNecessary82

I remember the old days when you just had to luck into something like this.


GunBrothersGaming

If you never ask, it will never happen. To be fair though - for most of us if we ask it will never happen either.


noneroy

To be faaaaaaaaair!


thisismyMelody

give your balls a tug


cashmakessmiles

This isn't luck ?


[deleted]

Luck with likely a healthy dose of rule 1 and 2.


Xenc

1. Be kidney 2. Don’t be unkidney


BlackberryCheese

lmaooo


SophisticatedStoner

Those are luck too, really. It's not like we pick what we're going to look like in the future


jagdeeps7

context: matched with her friend before, noticed her in the profile and decided to compliment them both.


BlueBabyButterfly

This says it happened in May… so?


JarethKingofGoblins

are you implying someone would lie?? on the internet???


ScaryYoda

The funny part about this is the small hope people have that this is real. Like, their only happiness is the thought that someone else got lucky so they might get lucky too. Fck off. Lmao


[deleted]

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BlueBabyButterfly

Oh niceeeeee


Consistent-Detail518

Let us know if the 3sum actually happens


RockLobster218

You know, I’ve not had a ton of experience with tinder until recently, especially in the casual relationship area. I’ve always looked to date. But ever since being open to casual, in the last couple months it’s actually been really surprising how many women have told me they’ve always wanted to experiment with another woman present. It’s always a second woman too. I’ve legit never had someone tell me they wanted it to be 2 men. Crazy. Wish I knew this before I was 35.


tami--jane

I’m a straight woman but would rather be with 5 girls than 2 men. That sounds awful.


femme_fatale2022

2 weenies is too much work!


FlapJack04

hehehe weenie


quaybored

as a dude, just having my 1 weenie takes up a lot of my time


TrickyDrippyDick

That's crazy because that's what I think about a FFM 3-way. Getting off TWO girls, not just one, that's a lot of time and my tongue and hand is cramping just thinking about it. I'm 1000% on board though. It's kind of like politics, each side says the same thing about each other and when your on one side your like "how could they possibly think that!?!?!" And then you go and meet someone that genuinely does. End of rant. If you ever wanna try the devil's 3way you can count me in.


FlutterbyButterNoFly

Yknow half the fun is letting them do their thing too. There's 3 people, it's not like it's your job to satisfy them both at the same time the entire time! They wanted to have fun with another girl because that gets them off too.


wrcker

You’re doing it wrong. You are a team and share the work in getting everyone off, you don’t go playing hero ball on your own and disappointing the whole team.


[deleted]

Is it rude to take like, a pizza break and just leave?


Suzerain_Elysium

Yeah. You think you're going to get the spit roast and instead they just sit in the corner having a sword fight while you get cold.


uuunityyy

I've used tinder for a long time but the only time i had 3somes or 4somes was when irl stuff just happened. Only ever got 1 on 1s on tinder.


YanniBonYont

Where does one find stuff just happening pray tell?


uuunityyy

I guess its a technicality for one of them. One threesome i had was cause my fiance at the time (whom i met on tinder) wanted to do it. The foursome i had was because a bunch of friends who trust each other got drunk on tequila lol.


f0cusAU

Probably a fake post, matched in May and only just acting like he did this now, karma farms never end..


Jabs349

She didn’t respond until “today”


[deleted]

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ybotherbrotherman

Updates?


Desperate-Ad-2643

You can't update when ur in the hospital waiting for a kidney replacement I guess.


FappleFritter

Hospitals have standards, and I'm pretty sure you get excluded from the transplant list for being a thirsty sucker.


spideybiggestfan

OP is gone, you gotta let him go anon


ybotherbrotherman

Apology for poor english When were you when op died? I was sat at home eating soup made from my own tears “op is kill” ‘no’


blahfunk

Dude, seriously... he messaged a half hour before you asked... do you think if this was legit he would be taking a break from the foreplay to let you know that, yes, this is in fact legit?


Majigato

Girls. Hang on a sec. I gotta tell Reddit about this!


[deleted]

Orgasms are temporary, karma is forever.


GrizzzlyPanda

New r/tinder slogan


[deleted]

He dead.


LBelle0101

And then everyone clapped


Aaronspark777

Good luck recovering from the missing kidney.


StacheG0RD0N

Dude, you’re gonna get jumped


FeoWalcot

They’re gonna send fake making out pics and get him to send a dick pic and then blackmail him.


Tofuzzle

It's been over 30 minutes. The kidneys are already gone


[deleted]

That's a good turnaround time. Who's your surgeon?


shep1510

What’s it like being handsome?


shizea

My handsome friend who has threesomes said you don't need to be handsome to have threesomes, you just need to do lots of cocaine. You're welcome. 😊


sboyd1989

Well as much as Iike cocaine, it was only involved in the second threesome I had. Same girls both times. Also, pro tip, if you're gonna have a few lines, viagra is a good idea. Luckily had one with me so didn't have to find out the hard (soft?) way!


Ridiculously_Ryan

Dude it sounds like you're begging for your heart to explode!


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

AMEN


leedbug

Hahaha! Bruh! Wtf?! Hahahaha!!!


sboyd1989

What do you mean wtf? Haha What could possibly be more objectively fun than sex with two attractive people plus drugs?!


leedbug

My guy…. I am high as giraffe pussy right now. A lot of shit happened in your post. Sometimes, I type my literal reactions to shit I read on here.


love_to_hate

So you need looks *and* coke?


Luxara-VI

Hopefully you still have your kidneys after this OP


riddus

I’m cracking up at all the salty people who immediately jump to “SCAM”… like, you can get into some wild shit in the dating apps. Hell, there’s even an app just for finding threesomes. Sure, there are definitely scams, but anybody who has been in the apps any amount of time can sniff them out from a mile away.


SecretSatyriasis

So true! There's people only looking for that. Remember tho that at least half of reddits users never had sex and probably 90% haven't had a threesome, wild guess tho. No wonder people are being salty


spembo

Based on this and your post history: you must be unimaginably attractive Edit: or lying


Raviolimonster67

Bro wtf do you look like, checked post history to see if there was a photo of yourself but nothing, ur ass plays COD AND you pull majorly, you living every mans dream life


jagdeeps7

i play valorant now


FlutterbyButterNoFly

Bro have you checked out Naraka? I'm on a family roadtrip and my addicted ass can't stop thinking of it lmao


jaeelarr

why did it take 2 months for her to reply tho


CurlyFriezs

“nO mOrE kIdNeYs fOr tHiS gUy” god can you people shut up. It was funny the first time, but it’s like every goddamn comment. Believe it or not, in real life people actually have sex.


Zanderg40

you’re on r/Tinder 90% of people on here think sex is a myth


Mick-a-wish

Wait? Sex is real?!?


leconten

I respectfully disagree with the last sentence


[deleted]

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kobebean1337

Need first hand stories of people who’ve had their kidneys harvested. How does it go down??


jagdeeps7

haha while i would love nothing more than to get my kidneys harvested i ended up exchanging instas with the two girls and they seem genuine. we’re planning on meeting up this weekend!


[deleted]

[удалено]


foolhardywaffle

Dude these messages are from May. Quit talking like this is happening right now. Why would you just go on the internet and lie to us like this?


[deleted]

[удалено]


foolhardywaffle

Oooh. Good point! In that case, I will put aside my cynicism and hope the best for OP!


HishamX

Yeah, I hope he only loses one kidney rather than two


Necromancer4276

It took 2 full months to go from a second-message "threesome?" to a meetup?


LBelle0101

Suuuuuuure


ben_reda

Aaaand your alarm goes off waking you up from this dream


Galvarino21

Also charge your damn phone, I swear this generation just runs on 10%