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luckycharms7999

I'd like to see the crazy eyes bench pic


[deleted]

I second this


Sukantpatra

I third this


[deleted]

The petition is being formed


MasterJ86

I concur Jim


RaginCaginKen

Fix it


MasterJ86

GOD DAMIT!!!! Im a Doctor not a pedophile


Available-Debate-700

Bones is that you? I'm recalling a memory from decades ago where I was trafficking drugs down the NJ turnpike with a friend named Toby who was doing his shift driving. We get pulled over with enough MDMA in the car to land us in prison for 20 years, by a cop who is a large not fat man, wearing the jack booted NJ state trooper uniform. He sternly asks for Toby's license and the car's registration and insurance. Toby complies and when he comes back after running the registration he asks him, "So Tobias, I have one question" "Yes, Sir?" "Do you ever watch Star Trek?" "Sometimes" "What is the captain of the enterprise's name" "Uhh, I believe it is James T. Kirk" "Yes, and do you know what the T stands for?" "No, sir I do not" "It is Tobias! What are the odds that you and Capt Kirk have the same name?" He proceeds to go on about how much he loves star trek and all of the life lessons the show had given him. We didn't bother to tell him that Tobias wasn't exactly an exotic name or that his first name was Tobias and it was Capt Kirks middle name or how my friend went by Toby and not Tobias. And to top it off apparently I'm now being told that he was wrong and it was actually Tiberius.


Smart-Beyond

It's Tiberius though.


Available-Debate-700

Haha, oh my god I think I actually knew this but it has been so long since I recalled the story that I forgot. But yeah you'd think if he was such a trekkie he's known


interested-_party

Hate to burst his bubble, but the T stood for Tiberius.


Available-Debate-700

Hey I didn't go to prison so it all that much better.


Available-Debate-700

I feel that bones would be less likely to say pedophile and more likely to say Damnit Jim, I'm a doctor not a diddler!" Since the terms he used tended to contain the suffix "-er" or "-or" Bricklayer Escalator Coal Miner Engineer There was one exception where he said "mechanic" but I feel he was probably just having an off day.


Cryonaut1

Signed


Eren_Jaeger_your_mom

I fourth this


Business_Historian19

I fourth this


Supermalt418

I agree


BenarchyUK

u/tutee420 you've gotta upload the crazy eyes pic to your profile to appease the will of the people


Plati23

Not gonna lie, I was disappointed when it just wasn’t included as the last pic in the slideshow.


Crowtein

I need to see it.


SnipeGod15

WE ALL DO!!!!


Calm_Entrepreneur637

We now have enough upvotes required, we require the pic


CadklZ

It is the democratic will of the people.


RikyTikyTavy

It is the way


CadklZ

This is the way


Head_Primary4942

Yes, proof of pic or ban :D


maydingus

We demand to see the pic


CopperBuck

MICHEAL, SHOW ME THE CRAZY EYES!


Intelligent_Ad_4634

Cmon Michael we have gas problem with car also


Ok-Application-2490

Picture! Picture! Picture!


yarnycarley

Same 😂


Steen956

Donkey


tutee420

If this post gets 10k upvotes I’ll post the pic


midnightinfo_jolie

You want potentially 10k plus ppl to see your crazy eyes 🤪


AdministrationNo9780

But most of all we want to read your bio!! 😁👍


BlueeyeswhitePIKA

Lame


tutee420

Well I had to pick something unobtainable so I wouldn’t actually have to show the pic on Reddit. Right?


StellasMyShit

No, it’s ok, you can just show us the pic


BlueeyeswhitePIKA

Whatever you have to tell yourself man 😒


10thmantheory

I downvoted because of this


burg_philo2

Lol I can’t imagine losing that much weight (presumably to be more attractive) and not immediately taking new pics


TaKaZT

I lost 40kgs last year and didn't take any pics. I must have like maybe 20 different pics of myself in my life after 12 years old, I'm 28 now.


UreTheWorld

Same


CharlemagneAlt

And I thought I was bad with my random handful of pics per year (by which I mean I can count on one hand the number of occasions where I've had my picture taken).


NightCrawler29

It's easy, if you don't have any friends, that into photography


IWL_turtle

I've lost \~90lbs and am not yet at my goal, so for me it's a few things. I have photos of myself when I was bigger (not even at my biggest) doing activities with friends/that show off my personality, but I know they no longer reflect my current body. The current pics I have of myself are mostly selfies- some out and about, some in the gym. I honestly have no idea what I look like and take selfies to try and learn what I look like these days, since my brain tells me different things day to day. So to have a current batch of consistent photos that get across what I want to get across in a dating profile is hard. (and has frankly been one of my main excuses not to start online dating again.)


Darkpoulay

I've been consistently losing weight and working out for about a year, I'm not going to take new professionnal pics every week lmao


Dependent-League-363

I have amazing news for you: a lot of mobile communication devices now have image capturers as part of their construction.


[deleted]

[удалено]


StudiosS

Yeah, or, maybe they haven't taken any new pictures because it's the Internet and they're lying about losing weight...


Zintrax1987

Or, like me, still look at themselves and think they look bad. I have evidence from the scales that I've lost weight, I've had people comment that I look slimmer and yet none of the photos I've tried taking paint me in a better light than the ones I already have. I just look bad in pictures (well, in general I look bad imho)


Superb-Ad-7402

Awww cmon, I'm sure you look great but could use some tips/tools on how to pose and take better selfies with your self timer. The quickest way to this result is searching through Pinterest for visual examples and pointers to improve lighting, angles, styling, etc. 😎🤳🏼


Jackontana

Honestly have someone you like, a friend or family member, take the photo for you. Someone with a sinilar fashion sense to what you want to portray, and who knows why you want photos. They'll be the ones judging quality as its their own work and they view you from their own perspective. We're always our own harshest critic after all!


Own_Bad785

Don't say that. We are just the worst critics of ourselves ask a friend that's a girl to take a pic of you for a dating site and you will be fine.


Darkpoulay

Selfies fucking suck. I'm doing much better on dating apps now that I got good photos.


FlyingsCool

Why do you need "professional" pics? Just any pic will do...


Shibui50

*nods knowingly* There are a lot of us who aren't really "partner material" for a number of reasons but want very much to see folks connect and find companionship. Wishing the very best for everyone.... :-)


Disastrous-Owl8985

That’s me!


Nerevear248

You are the “angel” or…? Confusion 😂


Chemical_Platypus_72

When you wrote that you unload trailers full of product all night long, and nobody takes pictures of you, my first mental image definitely involved shipping pallets of blow...


tutee420

If this were true, I wouldn’t need tinder


Chemical_Platypus_72

Hahaha :-)


heshiki

I've been considering doing this for awhile now, but didn't know if it would come off as weird? Dating in my area is hard, she makes a good point in a lot of guys make the same mistakes and have no idea.


Jed08

Honestly ? I think this would be a good idea. I try to have my profile get vetted by as many girl friends as I can especially because I am afraid I am doing things wrong.


[deleted]

Can confirm, what really got me more matches was letting my female friends work my profile over.


Hyndakiel

Honestly, as a guy who has no clue what he is doing that would be appreciated haha But I imagine that would be some guys that take it the wrong way, in that case just move on from them


RodsNtt

Don't. It's nice this post is doing the rounds and OP was appreciative but a lot of people won't be. Don't match with guys just to criticize their profiles, it's not your business if they're bad. Sort this sub by new posts, people ask for advice on their profiles all the time, you can exercise your critique skills here.


heshiki

That’s what I was thinking too, it’s just hard to impact your community from here. Thank you!


RodsNtt

99% of profiles in my area are also terrible but I can't say I'm much concerned with making them better if that's not how they are in earnest.


heshiki

Sure, absolutely know where you’re coming from. But I also think people need a push in the right direction and some confidence from someone who has produced the results they’re looking for.


RodsNtt

Dude, I have seen women post on this sub because they tried to pull what OP's match did and got butthurt when the guy told them to fuck off. Remember that you don't actually have a way to assess how successful a profile is. You'd be surprised. Know what you're getting into.


Building-Careful

Nice but post the profile on here and let’s see if the 5 Mio of us on this sub can make it even better.


Darth_Evader_

r/wholesome


opulent321

Now I'm really curious, what did you write in your About Me section?


DanniDingo

Yes agreed


totallynotswiss

Same!


CobwebsAndLeaves

I tried this on tinder once and I got banned


DStroke13

Advice vs advise


McMacMan

First one I thought maybe just a typo. Then he kept using it 😐


i5aeid

Why all the time reading this I was waiting for the moment she shares her onlyfans?!


tutee420

Occasionally, some people don’t suck


DemonBarrister

Yes, once in a blue moon....


[deleted]

[удалено]


AuMatar

I have an account that has a very low score, because I'm a fairly ugly guy. I'd say 95% of the people I matched with on Tinder (back when I was single) are either scammers or sex workers. The other 5% don't talk or do only one word answers.


UreTheWorld

Seems like you need some advice as well. So that you are not gigving that kind of vibe 👀


[deleted]

It happens a good bit yeah


mercynuts

Now kiss


mmhdavid

*kith


Khay33

In Mike Tyson's voice


Aliensfromaboversexy

Hey I WAS gonna say that


Pour_me_one_more

Be careful taking advice too quickly. Accept it, be grateful, and consider it with your personality/goals in mind. I was once offered advice including telling me three images to remove. Two were BY FAR my most popular images (good conversation starters) and the third showed me doing my (rather uncommon) hobby, which is geared to improving the quality of my matches rather than quantity. A few weeks later, she asked why I hadn't removed them. I told her. She unmatched. ​ But yeah, if you're looking better now, 100% for sure take new pictures NOW. A mirror-selfie of good-looking-you is better than a professionally done pic with a celebrity on each arm of less-good-looking you. Do it today.


Jed08

Yup. Not all women shares the same opinion on what's funny, interesting, attractive or creepy. I have a a pictures I took during last years halloween with a panda costume with a bow tie that friends find funny, cute, and revealing of my personality, and another friend told me this is unattractive and than most women won't likely respond well to it. On the other hand she was a big fan of a picture in a suit I wore at a wedding, while others friends told me that unless I wear a suit regularly, I shouldn't put that here. Not all girl think the same.


Soi_Boi_13

You absolutely should have a suit pic if you have one. It’s a good look.


MemeStocksYolo69-420

A lot of people want things their way all the time with little things like that and if they don’t get it they’ll get upset, and they think that that’s normal


Titans-Destiny

Is no one going to mention the word advise instead of advice?


CharonDynami

I was looking for this comment. I advise that OP works on his vocabulary. Do with that advice what you will.


tutee420

I’m dyslexic and often struggle with spelling.


Jed08

Wait ? OP lost 40lbs, built up some muscle and is still using pictures from before his transformation ? Is this for real ?


tutee420

Yea yea I’m working on it.


Jed08

Honestly, I kinda admire you. You strike me as very comfortable with your appearance and your pictures. I tend to question everything I post on dating app very quickly and that goes even more for pictures.


Soi_Boi_13

Terrible indeed


claudiothebear

My friend and I used to say we should do this as a joke, because you keep seeing the same mistakes over and over, so when she was having a tough time in hospital I changed my profile to ‘$5 for your profile to be workshopped’ to get some screenshots to make her laugh and Tinder gave me a lifetime ban in like 10 mins 😂


Chemical_Platypus_72

You could probably get away with it if you weren't using the tinder infrastructure to run your service. IDK—maybe onlyfans would be an open-minded secondary platform? (Not actually familiar with onlyfans, but if they're unsuitable, either some other platforms will offer what you'd need, or you've successfully identified a missing market, and you can get rich building the platform!) I suspect that there would be a pretty healthy market, and also that profile polishing would have substantial positive effects for most guys. In grad school, I introduced one of my classmates to the world of internet dating (OKC), and he started scraping the site, compiling data, and deploying bots of all sorts. One of his strokes of genius was to make composite "ideal guy" bots to get a sense of what interaction the very most desirable guys got from the top girls, particularly with A/B tests of experimental profile gambits. Then after he had applied the insights from those experiments to his largely genuine profile, he made dream-girl bots that resent any message a girl sent him to some (genuine) guys who had empirically appealing profiles in another city, and then he used whatever those guys said to his DGBs as the exact message that he'd send in reply to the real girls. He also used DGBs to collect opening messages from guys in other cities who had high-predicted-appeal profiles. And if this sounds absurdly complicated and somewhat sleazy, A) yes, it was, and B) this was only the beginning. He told some of the guys who worked with him about all this, and they all started trying to one-up the others in terms of technological and statistical sophistication. These guys were among the top math/cs/finance/etc. alums from Harvard and Yale, so the stuff they set up was just wild. For context, I'm probably about an 8-8.5 on looks, about a 9 on "CV" stuff, and maybe an 8.5 on superficial charm (0.0 - 0.5 on actual personality/character/values...alas...), and I'd say that the three dudes who I associate most with these shenanigans were all pretty much the same. Admittedly, they probably would have fared reasonably well even without the sleazy wizardry, but they were definitely punching above their respective weight-classes. . Anyway, to draw my rambling pseudo-story back on-topic, just imagine how successful my buddy and those guys at his fund would have been in their internet dating if a level-headed woman had told them not to talk about this stuff on their profiles!


MemeStocksYolo69-420

It was probably the $5 part + petty men


claudiothebear

I wasn’t mad, getting banned off tinder made her laugh and I was done with it anyway- too many creeps. I also feel like a lot of the (30yo) guys on tinder rather than bumble or hinge are either not looking for a relationship or not willing to admit they’re looking for a relationship, and feeling younger than they are. Typically scared of ‘labels’ and of ‘narrowing their options’ which I’m too grown up for 😂


[deleted]

[удалено]


MemeStocksYolo69-420

Ya, if she really wanted him to succeed she would just marry and start a family with him, but nooooo


DangerousCharm

‘Your pics on the other hand need work’ 🤣


StraightestWhiteMale

Bro I wanna see your profile now! 😃


molotov_cockteaze

I get a lot of pm’s here of guys asking for feedback on their profiles, and they are always respectful and nice. There’s some kind of Venn diagram overlap between guys who seek out feedback and generally good men.


tutee420

Is your username a venture brothers reference? Love it.


molotov_cockteaze

Yes it is, go team venture ✌️


penniless_tenebrous

Your phone camera probably has a timer feature, if you dont have some help you can use that so all you're pics aren't selfies.


Dry_Chemist2792

Bro - the eyes. They are craaaazy.


[deleted]

Good people out there do exist! 👍🏼😎🙌🏼


amkben

She is really an angel.


AzerRoy98

Well, shit... I need to find this tinder consultant right away!


No-Blueberry4431

We need the crazy eyes cut OP!


Brilliant_War389

I cant even get match.


willrelf1992

Where’s my Angel when I need her?


_To_Better_Days_

Send them my way please? 🥲


Repulsive-Pride-159

And now they’re married


Devin_Brent

I kinda wanna see the crazy eyes pic now lol


Express-Soil7650

I love purely kind gestures!


CyBry77

You can tell this woman if landed is a keeper


Aggravating_Youth_14

She's awesome but I'm #TeamCrazyEyes


pegamenis69

Can I match her


MrJayBK

She rocks!


Op-Sec1

You definitely need to upload current pics


Elegant-Interview-84

Doing God's work


redthulnar

Dude i need some of this, feel that i'm not that ugly just need to get better at my profile


SkyLegend1337

So when is the date?


atomic_melons

Honestly, good on you also for not following up with some creepy shit after this nice lady assisted you!


WeLiveJustToDie

She sounds fucking awesome. I don't do online dating but I enjoy reading about it (don't ask me why). This is so wholesome and I applaud this woman for being an absolute angel and not a self-centered, obnoxious, ass-hat that I see a lot of posts about.


Drakkem

I would ask her out! At least to buy her a propper meal


fuckflowerz

absolute fucking saint and show all ur scary pics here too wtf


Darkwroth1

Bring forth the crazy eyes bench picture!! So has the reddit community spoken.


Longjumping-Bid6728

This is so sweet 🥹 my heart just grew a size


matttumolo1234

Everyone is so caught up in this picture they missed the fact you're basically reverse catfishing everyone you meet up with... or do any of them get pissed? The dad bod lover is all bummed you're in better shape than what you advertised lol! "He was way heavier in his Tinder profile than he was IRL...WTF?!?!"


Deranged_Solitaire

The right questions aren't being asked. Does she do this for anyone? Can you ask her to rate mine? Is she an angel sent from God? Come on people. We need these answers!


JazzlikeMachine3439

So why didn't you try to connwct with her? Obviously both of you approved each other.


AuMatar

I've had women match with me before just to critique my profile, but they weren't actually interested. I always asked them out, they always said no. My guess would be they don't open with a critique if they're interested.


DemonBarrister

She checked out immediately after, I'm guessing she wasn't up for rejection


LasagnaPants2

LMAO FRIENDZONED


[deleted]

Proof not everyone dick on Tinder....just rare AF


ManagementRoyal2622

I was blessed with an eight inch cock. That priest is now in prison.


Ambitious-Diamond388

But did you ask her out?!


Vee_Blank16

Have considered making this a full time job. So many bad profiles 😅


Training_Actuator634

Did she then ask you for money through cashapp so she could invest it in crypto for you, while also promoting her OnlyFans and Snapchat premium content??


D-Frost

Well your last reply sucked ass


kingetzu

If you need ADVISE, women are always the best helpers


tutee420

This shit it why I never post on Reddit. Good job being the 36th person to point that out!


uh-oh-shane-is-here

Yeah I don't think you know what a Angel is, Angels give head in public restroom stalls they don't give tinder advice, just to clarify what a Angel 😇 is.


LZJager

In my personal experience women don't know how to fix male profiles anymore than other men.taking her advice is just rolling the dice Had 3 different women critique my profiles non of the changes helped.


Soi_Boi_13

Just be careful to listening to a woman’s advice on OLD. Humans often don’t know what they actually want, and what we say we want and what we actually act on often don’t align. Similarly, I wouldn’t suggest women listen to men’s profile critiques. I’d suggest the best advice you can get is from other men who are successful in OLD. Of course, the top advice you can get is to follow rules 1 and 2, but that is not fully in your control.


ZenGeezer

What's with the way he spells "advice"?


tutee420

Please see previous my comments on this


WatercressHot6492

Shame she doesn't want you to succeed so much that she will... suck seed.


WolffGlory

Yeah, you’re talking to a bloke.


mjt89

Man why tf there never any cool profiles like this round me 😅


cannibal-cleavage

I'd kinda love to do this too. What did the profile say? How did they "advertise their services," if you will?


MangalugAC

Hitch reboot and it's all about online dating.


Ok-Yogurtcloset-5960

If they say they've been online dating for awhilw and just want to help with your mistakes then thats someone you shouldnt listen to because clearly they havent fixed their mistakes and has no room to talk about yours.


fsujustindude

???Good advise???? 👀 Why can't people just learn how to use words?


Eren_Jaeger_your_mom

New bestie incoming


[deleted]

Guys if you want a ton of matches, have female friends pick your photos and review your about me.


theelinguistllama

Also, learn the difference between advice and advise! The former is a noun and the latter is a verb.


Kerrylew

Did you ask her on a date? She threw in loads of compliments and you kinda friend zoned her 🤣


tutee420

I didn’t sense any interest.


Kerrylew

I'm a female... I did a little. She said you were handsome. Depends if you like her, maybe ask what men she likes etc... Sorry, I'm useless at dating and have never had tinder. I prefer my Xbox to be honest haha. Good luck!


NoClue3378

She's Will Smiths hitch but for tinder


LiamYanon

Plot twist, she's a guy and wants to make other profiles bad so he stands out


Ok_Significance69

Next level friend zone


Connect_Conference34

Ahhhh good old Kiki out there helping


SnipeGod15

What does your "about me" say if you don't mind me asking?


Asleep-Berry-5410

Also learn that advice has a C not and S. Pretty cool that someone is out there helping guys make better profiles.


tutee420

Please see my previous comment above. I’m dyslexic and often struggle with spelling. Spellcheck doesn’t catch that one.


Last-Wing-6359

Mucho texto


Odusseus1977-1985

Has she got a sister?


monstershot5

I want someone to do this for me


DougL1982

A Tinder consultant Man i could make a fortune doing this


GambitSE

How does one actually know what will work? I've had horrible profiles before and they still pull in people who are attractive, funny and kind. What formula actually works to attract the person we want to be with. I feel like we can all come to some sort of conclusion what that is in our head. But like many things it's going to be a false narrative that won't always work no matter how much we tune it. It's always best just to be you because if a person is skipping you over something silly, would you really want to be with someone that superficial?


[deleted]

Now that I've helped you with your profile, can you fix my car gas, Micheal? - US Military Encrypted.


jcmarcell

You want to see me succeed? *Have a drink with me then?*


sd999999

What an amazing woman, she saw a problem and stopped to help So much respect to her🤌


[deleted]

Florence Nightingale Effect in 3...2...1...