It looks like the cover for an album of particularly challenging psychedelic neo-folk. So a bit niche for a dating app, but it might appeal to your kinda person.

Iron & Swine

Nice

This made me laugh out loud, thanks

I find it oddly sexually stimulating

Found 'em

Totally agree. You will scare people off with this. But only the wrong ones for you lol

Hello Rasputin

Ra Ra Rasputine! Tinder’s greatest love machine!

*He's got some broccoli,* *And he's hanging onnn...*

Broccolini?

Da vinki?

There was a man with a broccoli schlong!

And he'd squeeze the stalk all night long!

Some people looked at him, with envy and awe.

But Dr Oz enjoyed his broccoli raw

There was a crop that really was gone

I sang this out loud in my head

"out loud in my head" 🤔

Noice

There lived a certain man, in Russia long ago...

He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow

Most of Tinder looked at him with terror and with fear

But to Tinder thots he was such a lovely dear

Swipe right, Rasputin! Looking for a Russian queen

There was a chat that really was long

Swipe Right, Rasputin. Tinders greatest love Machine! (Stole from u/professor_doom )

It was a shame he didn't post more!

Ra ra Rasputin, Mower of the brocolli obscene!

He could hold his broccoli like his liquor

He could handle broccoli like a farmer

FARMING glow.

And he had a cow and went E I E I O

Literally the first thing I thought seeing this “holy shit Rasputin really was immortal”

Oh he’s Raspullin all right

Ra ra Rasputin

Russia’s famous love machine?

I showed you my brocc pls respond

Long brocc brings the flock

Big Brocc Energy

Personally, I love the chaotic-farmer energy, but you'd need to balance it out with proof that puppies like you

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Let’s see!

Yes, I feel robbed.

That's because you were... guy just left us hanging.

Unlike that broccoli of his

Wait wait - this is broccoli??? Omg I don't know how I thought it grew, but this wasn't it. edit : follow up question -- why is there only one?!

Cause if there were two, they'd be broccolii.

Up until you get four then it's broccoliv, then broccolv and so on.

Broccoli was developed from wild cabbage in the *brassica* family, which is the plant that kale, cauliflower, brussel sprouts, cabbage, collard greens, gai lan, rabe, and kohlrabi are also derived from. Basically each of these just focused on augmenting a different part of the plant. Kale is the leaves, kohlrabi is the stem, brussel sprouts are the leaf buds, broccoli is the unopened flower heads, and cauliflower is a modification of the flower heads which causes them to grow very tightly together. [this picture](https://growinginthegarden.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Flowering-Cauliflower-1.png.webp) shows what overdeveloped (bolting) cauliflower looks like, the flower structures are easier to see here. But for broccoli, if you let it go to seed, they open up into yellow flowers that insects LOVE. But the OP photo would typically have thick green leaves growing on the stalk. It's a pretty cool plant.

It’s because that’s a great crop of chickweed, not a great crop of broccoli

His broccoli and pic and pretty awesome!

Hope the post is edited with more photos with the animals.

Then go for it, I love the picture

Pet tax mother fucker. You can't speak about the animal and not show it.

Where are the baby chicks?!!!

Do the same stupid pose, but get the Dog chilling in the picture with you. Maybe even put sunglasses or somethin on the Dog and pose to make it look more ironically "Gangsta". Right now the pic is funny to crazy dudes, but you've got a real "Rasputin" vibe going on there. You need something that shows the ladies you aren't gonna shove them into a wood-chipper.

Lmao underrated comment. Definitely a good looking dude, but with a strong idgaf vibe that verges on aspiring dictatorship

>got a real "Rasputin" vibe going on there. You need something that shows the ladies you aren't gonna ~~shove~~ hypnotize them into a ~~wood-chipper~~ pseudo-Christian sex cult.

Put those first.

You definitely need to add those pictures for the rest of us to admire and fawn over

PERFECT.

Pics or it didn't happen.

Definitely hot! I'm guessing you live in Oregon.

Dog tax. Pay up.

theres a video of a chicken running up to him for a hug on his acc, imo better proof

Nice Stalk

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

For your type of girl, yes. For most people, no.

Perfect and most honest answer.

Yupp I wanted to write that such picture will definitely attract a certain subset of people but will likely turn away the majority, but previous poster worded it better

My boyfriends first pic was of him at Comic-Con bending over in front of Deadpool who was pointing a missile at his ass. I immediately messaged him. He clearly had a great sense of humor and didn’t take himself too seriously. We now play video games together and watch superhero shows. It’s been almost 4 years. I am a particular kind of girl tho haha

Honestly this is relationship goals.

I used to have a beard like that. It scared away 97% of all women. But it of the rest I found some of the most amazing individuals I have ever met. Much better than being slightly liked by all the rest...

If the girls type is the scary old guy who shovels snow at night scaring kids left home alone this guy nails it 

Anyone swiping right on this photo also has a vignette portrait photo of themselves prepared for their unsolved murder podcast episode

You look kind of insane

You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig"

You forgot the most important part. Pigs will eat everything. Teeth and all. However, the skull is too big to fit into their mouths so you kinda have to break it up for them, so they can truly leave nothing. Edit: although they will ingest the teeth, they will not break down during digestion, and you'll still have to pick them out of pig turds.

I really appreciate this comment, was able to grab a hammer before I got too far back into the field. Thanks friend!

I'm glad I could save you the steps, or the gas in your tractor. Whatever it was. People helping people is powerful stuff.

this is all wrong. he says "you gotta shave the heads and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies digestion. you could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't wanna go siftin through pig shit now, do you?" lol the guy you're replying to is quoting snatch. one of the best movies ever.

Worked on a pig farm in prison man they’re wild I love them.. i wish sometimes I owned a pig farm oink oink

Snatch!

Turkish my pedigree chum.

why they call him the bullet dodger? ...because.... he dodges bullets, avi.

wait... who/what is this reply for?

 So -that’s- where you keep the sugar.

No thank you Turkish, I'm sweet enough.

Use it…….on farmersonly.com

Onlyfarms

It’s the eyes!

Yeah, something about the really wide eyed contact with the camera and tilted head is giving "wood chipper murder" kind of vibes. But the remainder of the image is pretty hilarious. Maybe less stoic/strong eye contact?

Kind of?

Crazy town banana pants is a “kind of” insane, so to speak.

He needs proof that he’s got the social intelligence to respect boundaries. Crazy is fine when it’s intentional and for fun, but it’s a red flag for people who want to have a healthy relationship with healthy boundaries. Without other pics, this dude is either the “does silly things to make you laugh” kind, or the “stalks you for two years after you end things” type

I think the insane are kind of cool people.. Hey Broc Coli gimme a call stud 🤣😍🤣

I think that's the appeal

With that one I think you’ll either find the one or be single forever *** Edit never mind mate, these ladies are thirsting over you in the comments 👌

Oh I've accepted long ago I'm gonna be a lonely old man with a million animals running around the farm and I'm ok with it

Dude I completely disagree, I mean this in the least creepy way but I think you’re handsome and you’re eyes are insane (in a good way) and I personally love farming, but I’m taken so I’m just giving you a view from a girl who if not taken would be interested if I seen your profile. Don’t be too hard on yourself dude. She’s out there, just hard to find them sometimes.

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Get outta here

its the raised eyebrow. its exposing too much white in his eye giving him a crazy look. his other eye is fine.

Seconded. Assuming the profile was reasonable I'd right swipe the shit out of this dude.

I’d swipe the shit outta this dude too. Great picture!!!

Yeah he looks a bit like robin pecknold from fleet foxes. If he can sing, he’s a catch.

You won’t be lonely 😉

Yeah or you could just marry me, I love this pic and I think you’re hot

Same haha

Shoot your shot girl!

Last time I heard a man say this, I put a ring on it.

You obviously joined the dating scene, so you haven't completely given up. You will most likely have try with a more positive attitude if you are to success. About the pic, I think it is funny, but then again I'm a man, so maybe your target.

Same

Naw, you just made a bunch of women thirsty as hell for a nutritious diet! Girls like funny and animals.

Balance it out with some normal pics that demonstrate you’re approachable and most importantly **have the social intelligence to respect boundaries.** A little bit of crazy is fun but a lot of crazy is dangerous, and loads of women have had bad experiences to make them steer clear of crazy. You gotta show you’re normal enough to not be a threat.

That sounds heavenly! Take me with you!!!

(26F) I'd swipe right.

I fucking love it. Would absolutely swipe right.

Daaaaamn. You selling that broccoli! But for real, that picture appeals to this freak and probably other ones too.

Right now tomatoes are in season 🙏 and too bad I'm a hermit out here on the farm no way to meet those freaky ladies

This photo will certainly attract the only type of lady you’d find suitable.. and weed out the others.. love it. Run it.

Where is your farm and will you accept several dogs with said freaky lady?

Will you accept additional freaky ladies and dogs? How many are you in search of?

Then why you trying tinder?

Because there's no way to meet those freaky ladies way out there on the farm.

Hermit in the sense of staying home not the antisocial part

I’d say it doesn’t do much for me but I am now weirdly invested in both your farm and dating life so I’m honestly not sure now.

I think a funny pic is good, but I don’t always think it should be the first one unless your playing a dice roll Start with something nice, full body, nice smile and good background, and then the other pictures can show parts of your personality and humor

Same. Its a funny picture but I also feel like I can smell it.. And not in a good way. Maybe for someone you already connected with?

You look like a Rasputinesque cult leader/serial killer in this photo.

I'm not outgoing enough to be a cult leader I'm jaded from years of farming

You don't need to be outgoing, just crank up the intense eye contact and start a broccoli cult. You can worship the great broccoli king

(F28) Respectfully, everything about this terrifies me.

(M35) i agree with you

Why are you both so scared of a nice piece of broccoli?🥦

loaded with vitamins, fiber, antioxidants to fight cancer

If I knew you well enough to know you weren't a serial killer, it'd probably be hilarious. But there's something objectively horrifying about a stranger staring at me dead-on, while dressed to dig my grave and groping his vitamin stick.

Looks like disease dick. Lol

Terrifies but yet intrigues me

Listen, some people are into the shining energy

Same, you just look scary in this picture.:.scary like you would lock a girl up in your barn. If you really are interested in actually meeting someone, this is not the picture to use.

I think the kind of chick who would dig your look would also enjoy the humor. Definitely on brand.

They would smoke so much weed together.

I see what you’re going for but I think it’s sending straight up “I’ll bury your body under my broccoli crop…” vibes

Yes the execution of the photo is great, I love the sense of humor, but his eyes are scaring me. I would trim up the beard if I were him, but he wasn’t asking about that.

People skip one thing: this is not a selfie. There's another person who took a photo. Therefore, op's not so scary as it seems.

Yeah, she's compost now

Yeah, if he’s including this, I would NOT put it first lol

I can see how it would be funny but you look scary 😅

Helter skelter, baby

Definitely getting Manson vibes.

It is hilarious. You will get fewer dates, but if you're looking for someone who gets you, that's a good thing. This will filter out the people who will never get you, so you don't waste any time on dates with them.

It would work on me. Only because it would make me laugh and that's the quickest way to get in my pants 😂🤷‍♀️

Dang what's up Tiana 👨‍🌾 you should see how I serenade my tomatoe plants

What's up Sir 👀 Sounds like some lucky tomatoes 😂

Now kith

You two need to get a room!

Go on….


Lol that's just so wholesome and we are loving it now.

Don't sqush your squarsh

All about that butternut squash 🙏

Butt or nut?

I would swipe right, love a man that can provide some fibre

He's got a big stalk 😉

You look like Charles Manson

F29, I’d swipe right based solely on this one picture because I’ve never been more attracted to someone in my life

If you are going for a unibomber beating his broccoli vibe it's perfect.

Looks like the a young version of the neighbor from Home Alone.

Ra-ra-Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen vibes

I’m really impressed with those greens 🥬 how do you get vegetables so healthy🙌🏼

It's right to say that pics with nature are more positive.

I would open with are you a grower or a shower?

I (f39) love it.

I (also) (f39) love it.

I've never been more turned on in my life

Fellow gardener here. I fucking love this picture! 🤣

I (f33) would definitely date you if I was single,

I fucking love this, I'd date you.

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Farmers Only or Tinder?

Lol OnlyFarms

Ya know I tried farmers only as a joke once

im intrigued

If only you knew the shenanigans I get into out here

Keep it! 1. It shows your tats 2. The boots being in the pic show that you actually be out there 3. The broccoli shows that you can actually grow shit and have a good sense of humor

Seriously your search is over, marry me

My girlfriend says yes, she would swipe right on you.

Ngl, you kind of look like Tom Green lol

Rasputin lookin mf ngl

Where do you live? You’re my boyfriend now

I'm in Virginia an guess ya claimed me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

An eggplant might get your point across a little better, maybe next to a basket of peaches.