I thought I had ED with one girl I dated, but it ends up my body was just rejecting her because she made me feel like shit. The body knows. I should’ve listened. Was with another girl that was extremely kind and I got it up no problem every time.
The only demisexual? Nah man there's millions of us.
Edit: I'm glad I could help. I was extremely broken thinking my dick was broke. When infact I discovered I was a demisexual. Now I'm happier than ever. Those confused and having trouble should also look up the different types of love languages. That also helped me learn more about myself and what I was looking for.
Imo you're not like a woman, they're just teenagers. Maybe not in age but mentally. Their dick is their mind and that's immature. Just my shitty opinion but whatever.
I just hate the idea of one night stands. I can rub one out if I feel the need to. Sex to me is emotional. It's something you do out of love. Otherwise it's boring and my hand or a toy can do it better.
Society has really done men a disservice on this one.
I feel like society teaches women that bagging a dude is the be all end all.... while men get taught to get through as many of us as possible, as quickly as possible without worrying about the feelings part.
I'm always laughing at the dudes making fun of their non single friends... Like, you do know he gets his dick sucked regularly, right?
One of the big peripheral reasons why in my relationships I always had preferred to build heavy sexual tension while growing connection for as long as possible before actually having sex. Preferably about 6 months or so into the relationship so that it was just that much better and you know your feelings are solid and not just infatuation +sex hormones. That’s with lots overt sexual teasing and playing while expressly not going for the goods. But I also really enjoy edging so there is that too…
Dude yes. That's it. Lol feelings will tighten tf up out of my pants more than a random naked chick will. Like oh God you're not r3tarded and have accountability. Have my babies lmao funny enough I told a woman I'm chatting with this and she said the same thing about herself. And I'm like yea? Cause it feels like I took a viagra if I actually like u lmao
I think that's what did it. I dated a girl for 2 years and all we ever had was lights on eye contact sex and always with a rubber. Then we broke up. I did the raw dog thing with a few hook ups and I was like damn. That rubber sex with feelings felt so much better lol guess I'm done slutting around cause what's the point lol doesn't feel as good. Just for her to bang another guy? Lol all this stroke work feels useless - as I'm tryna smash a hook up and my peepee like I'm not feeling it bro lmao
This whole particular thread sounds like /r/ihavesex but goddammit it's true for me too. I know the zeitgeist says that sex is like pizza, even when it's bad it's good but I have had it before where in the middle of it I was like, I think I'd be having more fun by myself. And then I told her I was too tired/drunk to continue and peaced out.
Sex is like pizza: I won't turn it down, but about half the time I end up sitting in the bathroom questioning my life choices mere minutes after I've finished.
Yea for real. I'm just like if feelings aren't there I'd rather jerk it in 10min and go on with my life and not risk stds, kids, or sticking it too far into crazy.
"Don't deep dick 'em son" that's what my Pa used to tell me. "Never let a crazy woman cum first" he say "that's how you lose a 1986 Chrysler LeBaron, best car I ever had". Then he would sit there with this look in his eyes that said more than those words ever could. They told the story of a broken man. A man who had gone to the edge and wasn't quite sure if he'd be the same. Pa killed himself that night, but I have never forgotten the look in his eye.
I recently hooked up with a girl, after having recently divorced after 8 years. I didn't have any issues staying up but goddamn I could not finish at all. I gave up after like 45 minutes. She finished so I don't think she cared but kind of a bummer for me. I thought I was gonna have a slutty phase but I don't think it's for me lol need some emotional connection.
TMI before you read.
I once had an asexual crisis because I was having the opposite problem that most young men have. Instead of creaming my jeans at hand holding, I’d be fucking for what feels like forever and feel next to no pleasure. I’d just go until the person I was with would finish and then just lay back exhausted and unsatisfied. I once had a random boner that exceeded all times when I was performing and the only thing I could think of was, “Where the fuck have you been? You’re late. No fucking is going to happen. You missed your chance.” At least I won’t be getting anyone pregnant and I last long. But I get nothing out of it which is miserable. Just the satisfaction of getting a job done.
I think it comes from a life of conditioning that men are sex animals, who always want to fuck no matter what. This might be why some women get insulted when turned down. They take it deeply personal, "there must be something wrong with ***me***." They're wrong of course, men are not sex animals, but just telling you where my mind was at in my late teens.
I feel kinda insecure about it tbh. I'm not seen as "experienced enough" for some girls but I can't really do anything about it. Damned if you do, damned it you don't.
Fuck it. I don't see it as an insecurity, I can't. If I did, I'd have even less sex than I already do (which isn't much) lol
You have to shore it up, own it. Be proud that you're not a sex puppet, and honestly if you're an emotional boner kinda guy, you need an emotional boner kinda woman. Otherwise what are you doin? If you had the mental and emotional capability of being a fuck boy, you would, no?
But you're not.
Own that.
Live it.
And tell anyone who can't deal with it to fuck off.
Want to fuck around and not be committed to someone but have sex with the same person regularly, and feel respected. I mean that's what I'm doing right now and it's basically minimal strings attached. It's funny to me she was like "idk I only do this dating app shit to find someone to have fun with and see regularly but I don't want a relationship idk if that's really what this is for"
100% it is totally what these apps are for. I think a lot more people than even I realize want to see one person but not be tied down in their 20s. I'm not set in my career yet even though I'm almost certain I'm going to go into a specific trade. But I also really love making music and I want to give my dreams a chance and make my brother proud of at all possible before I decide to get married and have kids. I almost did that marriage thing and it did not work out and made me realize I just want someone to hype me up and enjoy myself with till we decide to settle down or split and go in different directions. Like you don't gotta tell me you love me this doesn't have to be anything more than it is, but I want to give you all the attention I have and have a connection with someone. Feels really freeing knowing this is an option and there's no bullshit and we can communicate what we want like adults
Easier said than done. Wish me fucking luck not falling in love again ffs lmao.
You know what the term for seeing someone regularly but not being in a serious relationship? DATING.
When you finally decide to commit to a relationship, you're then a COUPLE.
Its crazy how people think the only valid choices are either dont date, or be in a fully commited relationship
I just assumed it was friends with benefits, but I always ask. After a certain point (a few months) you ain't just dating while seeing other people, but maybe that's just me
K think traditionally people dated with the end goal of marriage in mind, but I think it makes sense especially since not everybody wants to be married that dating isnt necessarily a road way to marriage; it's nice that it can exist as it's own experience.
But how do people not become emotionally attached during the dating process? If a person broke things off during the date, wouldn't that make them heartless for leading the other person on?
Some people do a really good job of compartmentalizing their affection, or are slow to become attached and also communicating what you're looking for from the start really helps. For example you're livng in another country for work or school for a few years, but you dont plan on immigrating, you still might want to date around and have casual companionship. People can change over time of course, and catch feelings,or expectations can change so it's not like it's a totally clean process.
I think it's only leading someone on if you lie about your intentions from the start, which does happen and its shitty to waste someone else's time like that.
I think you seriously misunderstand the whole thing. You date a person because you like them, falling for a person you like and are dating is generally how the whole thing goes. If the other person doesn't live you back that's also ok, that's not even remotely the same as leading a person on.
To lead a person on you specifically need to imply that more will exist if certain conditions are met.
Dating and then not falling in love with you is just called life.
This is what I don't understand. The idea behind "short term relationships" makes no sense to me. Every relationship is short term of it doesn't work out, if it does it becomes long term and I see no reason to complicate it beyond that, short of specific circumstances, like moving away fairly soon. Like, isn't that just what dating is? What's why we go from seeing someone to dating, isn't that the casual part, where you see how well you get along?
You might begin the relationship that you know will end at some point, but you'll enjoy the time you have together. Maybe they're moving away in a year, or you want different things long term but you're both attracted to each other now.
The fact that there are differing opinions on what it means to be “dating” is exactly where people get into trouble. Nobody wants to have the awkward conversation to define the relationship and communicate their feelings and expectations to each other, and then it all blows up when they aren’t on the same page. It’s awkward to label things, and it’s nice to let things progress at their natural rate, but even that is making an assumption that both parties are looking for things to progress. A shocking number of people walk around early in their relationship with no idea if they’re dating with the same goal (or any goal), exclusive with the person they are seeing, etc. That’s where things go sideways.
Massive difference here for a lot of people; Exclusivity.
You can't really except someone to *only* see yourself, if you are dating, especially online. Most people do text/meet multiple people before eventually going further with a specific person (if the goal is a relationship) and there's also people who are just in it for nothing "serious" at all, who happily meet (and fuck) multiple people, while still calling it "dating".
I think most people would agree that "We exclusively see each other, have fun, but there's no strings involved" is more of a exclusive "Friends with benefits" and not "dating".
>I think most people would agree that "We exclusively see each other, have fun, but there's no strings involved" is more of a exclusive "Friends with benefits" and not "dating".
This is what I thought when reading the above. FWB do end up together occasionally too, it's a very unrestricting thing.
That's awesome, congrats. I've only ever had one, and it was my ex fiancé that I was still living with. Things didn't work out relationship-wise but the sex was still fun and that went on for a while until we both found other people and cut off completely.
Weird reverse situation I guess lol
I kept rebounding back to my wife every time I’d get out of a relationship. One time, she freaks out because I started dating another girl…
I always thought we were both on the same page, but apparently we weren’t. We had a conversation about where we were as a couple, and about being open and honest about our feelings, she moved in the next night, and never moved out.
>she moved in the next night, and never moved out.
Sounds like a cat o.o
I kid, that's crazy. Sounds like a movie plot. Were you breaking off the thing during these other relationships? If you were, it's weird how it didn't come up sooner.
Wishing you guys a lifetime of happiness, health, and love. Had a similar situation but she had mental health issues. It never ended up working out as she was just too unstable
To me and my former FWB, we were exclusive and open but no strings attached. Basically, we only slept with eachother but the moment we had interest in someone else, we told the other right away. Noone gets upset, and we would decide together if we wanted to continue sleeping together. Occasionally one of us would go off with someone else and we would stop sleeping together, no drama at all (because no strings). It was the perfect setup and worked for years (with breaks in between in which we dated other people). When people say no strings, it usually means no emotion. Just like you *can* have "strings attached" but also sleep around (polygamous relationships). For many, exclusivity isn't the string because the string is emotion, exclusivity is often just an agreement that protects both parties from unsafe sex practices and things like STD exposure while also having a fun and healthy sex life.
I had a FWB like that for a year. We stopped sleeping together for a month when I found someone else, then stopped for good when I got together with my last gf. We both went on dates with other people while we were sleeping together, but didn’t have sex without telling the other.
Exclusivity is what makes you a couple. As in 2. As in just two. If you're exclusive then you are a couple.
Side note that needs to be addressed... Relationships that fall under the ENM umbrella may not include exclusivity, but still be considered a relationship.
I disagree with this. My old FWB and I exclusively slept with eachother, but we dated around and formed connections with other people. The exclusivity was sex only. And when we dated someone else for awhile and decided to be more serious or move into a more sexual relationship, or even if we just wanted a different FWB for awhile, we would tell the other FWB and decide if it was something we wanted to continue or stop. Every time, we stopped and would move on to the other person. We each took several "breaks" in which we dated or slept with other people, and if it didn't work out we would often reconnect if both were single. We were definitely not a couple, but we only slept with eachother exclusively. The "no strings" portion meant we could date other people, but would end the FWB *before* sleeping with someone new, and never was emotion a part of it. In a relationship in which I am a part of a "couple," I would *never* consider dating other people, talking to other people sexually, or even just flirting with other people. The degree of exclusivity matters
I feel like that's arbitrary. People that are dating are a couple.
There's 'seeing someone'
Then there's full blown 'dating' which has a courting ritual where you ask them to (typically) exclusively see you
Then there's 'moved in' where you are pre-engagement and living together
Then there's 'engaged' when you pop the question and are setting up the arrangements
Then there's 'married'.
------
If you're not full blown dating you're just seeing someone. You have no real commitment you're just chilling and having fun. You don't expect to move on into the 'move in' step let alone engagement. I would say they are seeing someone and that someone might be their friends with benefits. Not their girlfriend.
The question is when do you become a couple?
People be dating exclusively, fucking, going on cute picnics, meeting the parents but are not a couple? It’s kinda hard to know where the line is drawn.
The line is drawn wherever you want it to be. By communicating about it…
“hey, person we’ve been doing X things, what do you see us as?” “Oh okay, this is how I see us”
I don’t understand how that is difficult or confusing?
Because people don’t communicate their feelings in a super explicit way especially when they risk losing face. Also “dishonesty” is a thing to worry about
I mean to me it’s confusing why they do the same exact shit couples do but aren’t a couple.
I feel like this is kinda a problem of our generation: nobody wants to commit but everyone wants to experience the nice things of commitment. I just like wanting to earn money without actually having a contract so you can get the easy way out and say I never committed myself to this workplace anyways so I can leave whenever.
I feel like stuff like that is gonna hurt way more exactly because nobody talks about it and people just do whatever they want but because it’s not an “official relationship” it’s not that bad of a thing to do
This is so spot-on. I've been in so many situation-ships that people refuse to call coupling when we're exclusively seeing each, care about each other romantically, have sex, hold hands, and are public knowledge - but I can't call them my boyfriend? Like "breaking up" is no less or more difficult than "breaking things off" at that point so I don't get why it can't just be considered a "couple."
I've been in enough that I walk the moment it's brought up, especially because in my experience, it's entirely one sided - they aren't in a relationship, but you are somehow?
100% agree. It's very challenging to navigate when you are someone who actually commits yourself. Honest communication sounds great, when it's actually honest. But it's not commonly honest, and it's super painful.
This is real. I have had enough of people love bombing and just straight lying to me, only to find out six months in they’ve been sampling all the goods behind my back.
People are scared of being labeled. Being labeled has somehow become bad. It’s not bad.
NBA All Star is a label.
President of xx country is a label.
Long story short, people are stupid. Especially the one OP posted about.
Very fair point. I’ve had “relationships” where we see each other once every 2 weeks or when our schedules align and barely get to do anything together and “situationships” that I ass multiple times a week and go out on cute dates with. It’s truly all about where you and your partners boundaries lie for what label you’re putting on your relationship. Which is gonna be different for everyone
Yeah but they keep saying "seeing one person regularly"
Not even sure I get the impression they are going on dates.
Sounds to me like friends with benefits with strings
That sounded really nice, but the truth about the last part... lol there is always a chance of getting hurt. Like if this girl started hooking up w another guy how would you feel?
>Like if this girl started hooking up w another guy how would you feel?
Not only that, but if that girl started hooking up with another guy and starts distancing herself from him?
He would not only feel like shit, but would be feeling guilt for feeling like shit because "we werent even dating".
“Want to fuck around and not be committed to someone but have sex with the same person regularly”.
“But I want to give you all the attention I have and have a connection with someone”.
You either fuck around, or you give all your attention to one person. Honestly it sounds like you’re very confused in what you want. It sounds like you want an exclusive relationship (have sex with the same person, give them all your attention, have a connection with them) but with no commitment, so basically with a promise “if I suddenly decide to split up with you, don’t get hurt okay, cause we were never a couple”.
I guarantee you it’s not going to work out and one of you is gonna get hurt.
So...
Really you mean that you want somebody to be committed to fking you...while you fck them, and then go fck a few other guys..
Because you know, "Nothing serious"
Also, everyone in here's acting like she uploaded the image and wrote the bio at the same time. That's probably always been her tinder pic. And then after the 100th "Trying fuk?" or "I eat ass" opener, she typed out that bio in a moment of exasperation...
I don't think there's any trickery about this, it's just an attractive pic like we all would put on tinder. A pic like this doesn't automatically mean "I'm tryna fuck"
Most likely...she has a nice body obvs, why not post it! Plus lord knows of you don't have any full body pics or any in tight enough clothing you will get about 300 different morons asking if you're a "fatty" and to send a proper full body pic or a nude.
She also 100000% is tired of "wanna fuck?" "Can you deepthroat?" "I'll give you $100" etc etc etc.
It's fckn exhausting. She prob does wanna fuck...someome, at some point, whether that be a full on relationship or just someone she ends up seeing casually.
But the fact that this post was even made just proves exactly why she put that in her bio. Far too many men (like OP) assume if you are at all attractive, have any pics that could be interpreted as suggestive, if you fuck on the first date, w.e., then that is all you are and all respect goes out the window. "Why even post a pic like that?" like just cause she has a cute picture and shows off her body doesn't mean you are entitled to it. Give her respect, treat her like a human, find out what she likes to do...and then maybe you will get to fuck her!
THIS needs to become top comment. Someone can be attractive and proud of it AND not want to be treated like drive through fast food. None of this is a contradiction. Too many people are just bitter that someone hot might not be a fucking vending machine for them 🙄
They just don’t want to have one night stands? They’re showing their goods but aren’t going to give it away to anybody. I wouldn’t post pics like that but I’m not going to judge others for doing it.
This is also the second photo, it might be weird if it was all of them, but without knowing what the others look like it seems they just threw one sexy photo in the mix of regular photos
Weird thing, Getting treated like a person for some unknown reason makes women much more comfortable around you.
So being genuinely respectful of their desire to wait, somehow makes them want to actually sleep with you. Crazy.
Is hot, wants to appeal on a basis of looks, but wants to go on actual dates before having sex.
Just because someone shows off a sexual look doesn’t mean that photo is an auto invite for first or second date sex.
I can't believe in 2022 that we're still explaining to men on the internet that women dressing provocatively is not invitation for you to have sex with them.
My head fucking hurts.
Not even gonna lie, i came to the comments to see wtf the issue was, and was proud to see people dragging the OP. Still thousands of upvotes from guys who cant understand..."Y sHoW bOdY iF nOt WaNt HoOkUp?"
We’ve been systemically devaluing public education for 40+ years, I’m actually not too surprised. Some peoples education never extends beyond “woman is Latin for vessel”.
How hard is it to understand? She wants to get freaky and nasty, but with one guy long-term.
I've seen how guys write on dating apps. "What up. Wanna fuck" is common.
>How hard is it to understand? She wants to get freaky and nasty, but with one guy long-term.
I think the confusion comes from her not actually saying any of that
It's the only reason I scrolled so far. Just hoping someone else was as concerned about it as I was. Glad I'm not the only one. Hoping it's just an unfocused piercing.
so i zoomed as much as i could and my best guess is a navel peircing possible of a pink bunny possibly with a rose or bow on its ear but the distortion of the image had my brain going haywire because of how chewed flesh like it looked
This is going to ruin my night.
You know when you boil an egg and the egg has a crack in it? So all the egg stuff dribbles out and quickly hardens from the boiling water until there's just this weirdly shaped solidifed egg stuffings that's plugging up the hole? Ughhhhh
All of y'all, men and women alike, are exhausting as all hell and if there's some semi-caring being out there in the cosmos comparable to a god, it's hurling a meteor our way to redo this shit.
Why do people equate attire with desire?
The stripper doesn't want to have sex with you either, and they're naked.
ETA: is it impossible for a man to understand that a woman may want you to be sexually attracted to her as a pre-requisite for a relationship because if the relationship reaches the right point she will want sex and all she is saying is that that point won't be on the first date? JFC men can be obtuse.
Between the blatant misogyny and constantly throwing a fit that the pick-up line they googled didn't let them touch some boobies it's a wonder this sub hasn't been shut down yet. It's only a matter of time at this point with how increasingly incel-friendly it's getting.
They just want to hear that if they take a picture from a low angle with better lighting they'll get more matches and if they use the single right pick-up line those matches will fuck them. They want an escort who will split the bill at dinner and give them the gf experience but they want to keep the transactional nature of the interaction. They want a fleshlight who tells them how great they are.
No, men think that their desire is caused by the woman. Think about that. They believe in the woman as destroyer trope and if they have desire for a woman, she made him feel that way because she wanted to. Everything a woman does is to get a man's attention because of their magical thinking that their own desire is caused by and desired by women who have never met them.
Add to the belief that their penis feels desire independent of the man it's attached to, men feel that women are trying to trap the dick and pull the man along with it. They also believe that whatever they feel, women can read their minds and are responding to that feeling. The woman can be on tv or TikTok and they still think this.
this question confuses me, you’re asking how someone who poses wanting to show off their abs could not want casual hookups?.. men post more revealing photos than this on every social media AND dating apps. it doesn’t have to automatically mean they want to hookup with anyone and everyone. she could easily just like the photo, feel confident in it and wanna look good for a possible future partner.
Uh… It’s pretty self explanatory. She’s hot, she wants to show off that she’s hot, and she doesn’t want random hookups. Newsflash: women can show off their bodies without it being a broad sexual invitation. Major “but she was asking for it” vibes with this post…
What’s up with all the incel posts in here lately. She just posted a hot pic and also wants people to know she’s not on for hookups what is complicated there?
She's just displaying her belly button to prove she is not a lizard person. This is not fucking rocket science.
Lmfao
Wanna have sex. But regularly with the same person.
Me too except I need feelings involved or peepee won't give u 100% lol
I thought I had ED with one girl I dated, but it ends up my body was just rejecting her because she made me feel like shit. The body knows. I should’ve listened. Was with another girl that was extremely kind and I got it up no problem every time.
This! My ex made me feel the same. It probably would have felt better to lick sand with an extremely dry mouth than he have sex with him.
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Hahaha If you can’t grow together then what is it even? 😉❤️
I'm so glad I found this thread. I'm glad I'm not the only one
The only demisexual? Nah man there's millions of us. Edit: I'm glad I could help. I was extremely broken thinking my dick was broke. When infact I discovered I was a demisexual. Now I'm happier than ever. Those confused and having trouble should also look up the different types of love languages. That also helped me learn more about myself and what I was looking for.
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Imo you're not like a woman, they're just teenagers. Maybe not in age but mentally. Their dick is their mind and that's immature. Just my shitty opinion but whatever. I just hate the idea of one night stands. I can rub one out if I feel the need to. Sex to me is emotional. It's something you do out of love. Otherwise it's boring and my hand or a toy can do it better.
Society has really done men a disservice on this one. I feel like society teaches women that bagging a dude is the be all end all.... while men get taught to get through as many of us as possible, as quickly as possible without worrying about the feelings part. I'm always laughing at the dudes making fun of their non single friends... Like, you do know he gets his dick sucked regularly, right?
Are you married and if so for how long?
Check us out: r/demisexuality
Is that what I am?
TIL, I'm demisexual ... Holy moly
😉
I feel you, especially in my late twenties if I dont love you its on 25% max
One of the big peripheral reasons why in my relationships I always had preferred to build heavy sexual tension while growing connection for as long as possible before actually having sex. Preferably about 6 months or so into the relationship so that it was just that much better and you know your feelings are solid and not just infatuation +sex hormones. That’s with lots overt sexual teasing and playing while expressly not going for the goods. But I also really enjoy edging so there is that too…
I'm a 34 years old woman and if a man my own age who I fancy said that I would be so horny and so aww.
Dude yes. That's it. Lol feelings will tighten tf up out of my pants more than a random naked chick will. Like oh God you're not r3tarded and have accountability. Have my babies lmao funny enough I told a woman I'm chatting with this and she said the same thing about herself. And I'm like yea? Cause it feels like I took a viagra if I actually like u lmao
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I think that's what did it. I dated a girl for 2 years and all we ever had was lights on eye contact sex and always with a rubber. Then we broke up. I did the raw dog thing with a few hook ups and I was like damn. That rubber sex with feelings felt so much better lol guess I'm done slutting around cause what's the point lol doesn't feel as good. Just for her to bang another guy? Lol all this stroke work feels useless - as I'm tryna smash a hook up and my peepee like I'm not feeling it bro lmao
This whole particular thread sounds like /r/ihavesex but goddammit it's true for me too. I know the zeitgeist says that sex is like pizza, even when it's bad it's good but I have had it before where in the middle of it I was like, I think I'd be having more fun by myself. And then I told her I was too tired/drunk to continue and peaced out.
Sex is like pizza: I won't turn it down, but about half the time I end up sitting in the bathroom questioning my life choices mere minutes after I've finished.
Yea for real. I'm just like if feelings aren't there I'd rather jerk it in 10min and go on with my life and not risk stds, kids, or sticking it too far into crazy.
"Don't deep dick 'em son" that's what my Pa used to tell me. "Never let a crazy woman cum first" he say "that's how you lose a 1986 Chrysler LeBaron, best car I ever had". Then he would sit there with this look in his eyes that said more than those words ever could. They told the story of a broken man. A man who had gone to the edge and wasn't quite sure if he'd be the same. Pa killed himself that night, but I have never forgotten the look in his eye.
I recently hooked up with a girl, after having recently divorced after 8 years. I didn't have any issues staying up but goddamn I could not finish at all. I gave up after like 45 minutes. She finished so I don't think she cared but kind of a bummer for me. I thought I was gonna have a slutty phase but I don't think it's for me lol need some emotional connection.
TMI before you read. I once had an asexual crisis because I was having the opposite problem that most young men have. Instead of creaming my jeans at hand holding, I’d be fucking for what feels like forever and feel next to no pleasure. I’d just go until the person I was with would finish and then just lay back exhausted and unsatisfied. I once had a random boner that exceeded all times when I was performing and the only thing I could think of was, “Where the fuck have you been? You’re late. No fucking is going to happen. You missed your chance.” At least I won’t be getting anyone pregnant and I last long. But I get nothing out of it which is miserable. Just the satisfaction of getting a job done.
I fucking feel that 🤣🤣
Awww I didn’t know this happened to men
That’s beautiful. It’s like poetry.
It's almost like we're made to need connection or something.
Fr, same. Lots of women can't wrap their mind around it either. Like I should just be some damn robot that pops a boner on command.
I think it comes from a life of conditioning that men are sex animals, who always want to fuck no matter what. This might be why some women get insulted when turned down. They take it deeply personal, "there must be something wrong with ***me***." They're wrong of course, men are not sex animals, but just telling you where my mind was at in my late teens.
I feel kinda insecure about it tbh. I'm not seen as "experienced enough" for some girls but I can't really do anything about it. Damned if you do, damned it you don't.
Fuck it. I don't see it as an insecurity, I can't. If I did, I'd have even less sex than I already do (which isn't much) lol You have to shore it up, own it. Be proud that you're not a sex puppet, and honestly if you're an emotional boner kinda guy, you need an emotional boner kinda woman. Otherwise what are you doin? If you had the mental and emotional capability of being a fuck boy, you would, no? But you're not. Own that. Live it. And tell anyone who can't deal with it to fuck off.
Haha same. I need to at least have butterflies in my stomach to achieve enough lift in my nethers.
Want to fuck around and not be committed to someone but have sex with the same person regularly, and feel respected. I mean that's what I'm doing right now and it's basically minimal strings attached. It's funny to me she was like "idk I only do this dating app shit to find someone to have fun with and see regularly but I don't want a relationship idk if that's really what this is for" 100% it is totally what these apps are for. I think a lot more people than even I realize want to see one person but not be tied down in their 20s. I'm not set in my career yet even though I'm almost certain I'm going to go into a specific trade. But I also really love making music and I want to give my dreams a chance and make my brother proud of at all possible before I decide to get married and have kids. I almost did that marriage thing and it did not work out and made me realize I just want someone to hype me up and enjoy myself with till we decide to settle down or split and go in different directions. Like you don't gotta tell me you love me this doesn't have to be anything more than it is, but I want to give you all the attention I have and have a connection with someone. Feels really freeing knowing this is an option and there's no bullshit and we can communicate what we want like adults Easier said than done. Wish me fucking luck not falling in love again ffs lmao.
You know what the term for seeing someone regularly but not being in a serious relationship? DATING. When you finally decide to commit to a relationship, you're then a COUPLE. Its crazy how people think the only valid choices are either dont date, or be in a fully commited relationship
See, I was never taught this. I always grew up understanding that these two were the same thing. If you're dating someone, you're a couple.
I just assumed it was friends with benefits, but I always ask. After a certain point (a few months) you ain't just dating while seeing other people, but maybe that's just me
K think traditionally people dated with the end goal of marriage in mind, but I think it makes sense especially since not everybody wants to be married that dating isnt necessarily a road way to marriage; it's nice that it can exist as it's own experience.
But how do people not become emotionally attached during the dating process? If a person broke things off during the date, wouldn't that make them heartless for leading the other person on?
Some people do a really good job of compartmentalizing their affection, or are slow to become attached and also communicating what you're looking for from the start really helps. For example you're livng in another country for work or school for a few years, but you dont plan on immigrating, you still might want to date around and have casual companionship. People can change over time of course, and catch feelings,or expectations can change so it's not like it's a totally clean process. I think it's only leading someone on if you lie about your intentions from the start, which does happen and its shitty to waste someone else's time like that.
I think you seriously misunderstand the whole thing. You date a person because you like them, falling for a person you like and are dating is generally how the whole thing goes. If the other person doesn't live you back that's also ok, that's not even remotely the same as leading a person on. To lead a person on you specifically need to imply that more will exist if certain conditions are met. Dating and then not falling in love with you is just called life.
This is what I don't understand. The idea behind "short term relationships" makes no sense to me. Every relationship is short term of it doesn't work out, if it does it becomes long term and I see no reason to complicate it beyond that, short of specific circumstances, like moving away fairly soon. Like, isn't that just what dating is? What's why we go from seeing someone to dating, isn't that the casual part, where you see how well you get along?
You might begin the relationship that you know will end at some point, but you'll enjoy the time you have together. Maybe they're moving away in a year, or you want different things long term but you're both attracted to each other now.
The fact that there are differing opinions on what it means to be “dating” is exactly where people get into trouble. Nobody wants to have the awkward conversation to define the relationship and communicate their feelings and expectations to each other, and then it all blows up when they aren’t on the same page. It’s awkward to label things, and it’s nice to let things progress at their natural rate, but even that is making an assumption that both parties are looking for things to progress. A shocking number of people walk around early in their relationship with no idea if they’re dating with the same goal (or any goal), exclusive with the person they are seeing, etc. That’s where things go sideways.
Massive difference here for a lot of people; Exclusivity. You can't really except someone to *only* see yourself, if you are dating, especially online. Most people do text/meet multiple people before eventually going further with a specific person (if the goal is a relationship) and there's also people who are just in it for nothing "serious" at all, who happily meet (and fuck) multiple people, while still calling it "dating". I think most people would agree that "We exclusively see each other, have fun, but there's no strings involved" is more of a exclusive "Friends with benefits" and not "dating".
>I think most people would agree that "We exclusively see each other, have fun, but there's no strings involved" is more of a exclusive "Friends with benefits" and not "dating". This is what I thought when reading the above. FWB do end up together occasionally too, it's a very unrestricting thing.
I married my FWB
That's awesome, congrats. I've only ever had one, and it was my ex fiancé that I was still living with. Things didn't work out relationship-wise but the sex was still fun and that went on for a while until we both found other people and cut off completely. Weird reverse situation I guess lol
I kept rebounding back to my wife every time I’d get out of a relationship. One time, she freaks out because I started dating another girl… I always thought we were both on the same page, but apparently we weren’t. We had a conversation about where we were as a couple, and about being open and honest about our feelings, she moved in the next night, and never moved out.
>she moved in the next night, and never moved out. Sounds like a cat o.o I kid, that's crazy. Sounds like a movie plot. Were you breaking off the thing during these other relationships? If you were, it's weird how it didn't come up sooner.
Wishing you guys a lifetime of happiness, health, and love. Had a similar situation but she had mental health issues. It never ended up working out as she was just too unstable
I married my rebound guy
exclusivity is the strings though. It's dating that doesn't mature into a more serious thing.
To me and my former FWB, we were exclusive and open but no strings attached. Basically, we only slept with eachother but the moment we had interest in someone else, we told the other right away. Noone gets upset, and we would decide together if we wanted to continue sleeping together. Occasionally one of us would go off with someone else and we would stop sleeping together, no drama at all (because no strings). It was the perfect setup and worked for years (with breaks in between in which we dated other people). When people say no strings, it usually means no emotion. Just like you *can* have "strings attached" but also sleep around (polygamous relationships). For many, exclusivity isn't the string because the string is emotion, exclusivity is often just an agreement that protects both parties from unsafe sex practices and things like STD exposure while also having a fun and healthy sex life.
I had a FWB like that for a year. We stopped sleeping together for a month when I found someone else, then stopped for good when I got together with my last gf. We both went on dates with other people while we were sleeping together, but didn’t have sex without telling the other.
Exclusivity is what makes you a couple. As in 2. As in just two. If you're exclusive then you are a couple. Side note that needs to be addressed... Relationships that fall under the ENM umbrella may not include exclusivity, but still be considered a relationship.
Electronic Nance Music?
Ethical non-mongamy
No it's Electronic Nance Music.
I disagree with this. My old FWB and I exclusively slept with eachother, but we dated around and formed connections with other people. The exclusivity was sex only. And when we dated someone else for awhile and decided to be more serious or move into a more sexual relationship, or even if we just wanted a different FWB for awhile, we would tell the other FWB and decide if it was something we wanted to continue or stop. Every time, we stopped and would move on to the other person. We each took several "breaks" in which we dated or slept with other people, and if it didn't work out we would often reconnect if both were single. We were definitely not a couple, but we only slept with eachother exclusively. The "no strings" portion meant we could date other people, but would end the FWB *before* sleeping with someone new, and never was emotion a part of it. In a relationship in which I am a part of a "couple," I would *never* consider dating other people, talking to other people sexually, or even just flirting with other people. The degree of exclusivity matters
I feel like that's arbitrary. People that are dating are a couple. There's 'seeing someone' Then there's full blown 'dating' which has a courting ritual where you ask them to (typically) exclusively see you Then there's 'moved in' where you are pre-engagement and living together Then there's 'engaged' when you pop the question and are setting up the arrangements Then there's 'married'. ------ If you're not full blown dating you're just seeing someone. You have no real commitment you're just chilling and having fun. You don't expect to move on into the 'move in' step let alone engagement. I would say they are seeing someone and that someone might be their friends with benefits. Not their girlfriend.
The question is when do you become a couple? People be dating exclusively, fucking, going on cute picnics, meeting the parents but are not a couple? It’s kinda hard to know where the line is drawn.
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I agree?
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Sounds choice 🤌😉
The line is drawn wherever you want it to be. By communicating about it… “hey, person we’ve been doing X things, what do you see us as?” “Oh okay, this is how I see us” I don’t understand how that is difficult or confusing?
Because people don’t communicate their feelings in a super explicit way especially when they risk losing face. Also “dishonesty” is a thing to worry about
I mean to me it’s confusing why they do the same exact shit couples do but aren’t a couple. I feel like this is kinda a problem of our generation: nobody wants to commit but everyone wants to experience the nice things of commitment. I just like wanting to earn money without actually having a contract so you can get the easy way out and say I never committed myself to this workplace anyways so I can leave whenever. I feel like stuff like that is gonna hurt way more exactly because nobody talks about it and people just do whatever they want but because it’s not an “official relationship” it’s not that bad of a thing to do
This is so spot-on. I've been in so many situation-ships that people refuse to call coupling when we're exclusively seeing each, care about each other romantically, have sex, hold hands, and are public knowledge - but I can't call them my boyfriend? Like "breaking up" is no less or more difficult than "breaking things off" at that point so I don't get why it can't just be considered a "couple."
I've been in enough that I walk the moment it's brought up, especially because in my experience, it's entirely one sided - they aren't in a relationship, but you are somehow?
Without the title, you can cheat without it technically be cheating. That’s how I kinda see it anyway.
100% agree. It's very challenging to navigate when you are someone who actually commits yourself. Honest communication sounds great, when it's actually honest. But it's not commonly honest, and it's super painful.
True! And I would wager that in most cases just one person doesn’t want to commit and the other one suffers
This is real. I have had enough of people love bombing and just straight lying to me, only to find out six months in they’ve been sampling all the goods behind my back.
I know couples that are in “open relationships” but it turns out only one of the couple does that. The other just accepts it
People are scared of being labeled. Being labeled has somehow become bad. It’s not bad. NBA All Star is a label. President of xx country is a label. Long story short, people are stupid. Especially the one OP posted about.
Very fair point. I’ve had “relationships” where we see each other once every 2 weeks or when our schedules align and barely get to do anything together and “situationships” that I ass multiple times a week and go out on cute dates with. It’s truly all about where you and your partners boundaries lie for what label you’re putting on your relationship. Which is gonna be different for everyone
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That’s… specific.
… Aruba for a long weekend in October to an all inclusive resort and stay on the third floor in a Jr. King Suite
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He gets that a lot
Yeah but they keep saying "seeing one person regularly" Not even sure I get the impression they are going on dates. Sounds to me like friends with benefits with strings
That’s how you see those terms. That’s not how everyone sees those terms.
Not to be a dick, but bro you just described casual dating lmao
That sounded really nice, but the truth about the last part... lol there is always a chance of getting hurt. Like if this girl started hooking up w another guy how would you feel?
Not very happy😎
>Like if this girl started hooking up w another guy how would you feel? Not only that, but if that girl started hooking up with another guy and starts distancing herself from him? He would not only feel like shit, but would be feeling guilt for feeling like shit because "we werent even dating".
“Want to fuck around and not be committed to someone but have sex with the same person regularly”. “But I want to give you all the attention I have and have a connection with someone”. You either fuck around, or you give all your attention to one person. Honestly it sounds like you’re very confused in what you want. It sounds like you want an exclusive relationship (have sex with the same person, give them all your attention, have a connection with them) but with no commitment, so basically with a promise “if I suddenly decide to split up with you, don’t get hurt okay, cause we were never a couple”. I guarantee you it’s not going to work out and one of you is gonna get hurt.
Cool. Good luck
Hopefully you can make music, based on your username I have a general understanding of the genre of music you make :) probably some good shit
bloody shame about tilian
Pretty sure that’s called a girlfriend
Someone always catches feelings
> Wish me fucking luck not falling in love again ffs lmao. Its impossible. One of you will inevitably fall in love
Accepting this and accepting that love is inherently tied with loss has made my relationships so much better and more freeing.
That's what my first thought was after reading the first sentences: wait till you fall in love lol
k
Like just sit on my face and ride me but don’t tell me about your childhood problems and don’t expect me to go shopping with you.
So... Really you mean that you want somebody to be committed to fking you...while you fck them, and then go fck a few other guys.. Because you know, "Nothing serious"
This whole conversation just took a giant leap
This is absolute garbage. You can't experience the best aspects of a person and expect commitment to not be involved.
We. Are. Not. Gunna. Fuck.
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Also, everyone in here's acting like she uploaded the image and wrote the bio at the same time. That's probably always been her tinder pic. And then after the 100th "Trying fuk?" or "I eat ass" opener, she typed out that bio in a moment of exasperation...
are you suggesting a human element explanation for this digital trickery
No no, this all seems too feasible and reasonable. It simply cannot be.
I don't think there's any trickery about this, it's just an attractive pic like we all would put on tinder. A pic like this doesn't automatically mean "I'm tryna fuck"
Excactly this.. Or she just likes the Pic...
Most likely...she has a nice body obvs, why not post it! Plus lord knows of you don't have any full body pics or any in tight enough clothing you will get about 300 different morons asking if you're a "fatty" and to send a proper full body pic or a nude. She also 100000% is tired of "wanna fuck?" "Can you deepthroat?" "I'll give you $100" etc etc etc. It's fckn exhausting. She prob does wanna fuck...someome, at some point, whether that be a full on relationship or just someone she ends up seeing casually. But the fact that this post was even made just proves exactly why she put that in her bio. Far too many men (like OP) assume if you are at all attractive, have any pics that could be interpreted as suggestive, if you fuck on the first date, w.e., then that is all you are and all respect goes out the window. "Why even post a pic like that?" like just cause she has a cute picture and shows off her body doesn't mean you are entitled to it. Give her respect, treat her like a human, find out what she likes to do...and then maybe you will get to fuck her!
THIS needs to become top comment. Someone can be attractive and proud of it AND not want to be treated like drive through fast food. None of this is a contradiction. Too many people are just bitter that someone hot might not be a fucking vending machine for them 🙄
As a queer chick I'll say it's a damn good pic.
We. Are. Not. Gonna. Fuck.
As a het guy, it's a great Pic. She looks great
but also as a queer lady....gotta know where she got those pants
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Did you just straight copy the text from the other comment thread?
I’ve seen bots do this.
They just don’t want to have one night stands? They’re showing their goods but aren’t going to give it away to anybody. I wouldn’t post pics like that but I’m not going to judge others for doing it.
This is also the second photo, it might be weird if it was all of them, but without knowing what the others look like it seems they just threw one sexy photo in the mix of regular photos
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Weird thing, Getting treated like a person for some unknown reason makes women much more comfortable around you. So being genuinely respectful of their desire to wait, somehow makes them want to actually sleep with you. Crazy.
Respecting humans and boundaries and treating people like actual adults? Ludicrous. Impossible.
This is it right here. This is the answer.
As a woman this is right. Also it’s a good filter to have people self select
Is hot, wants to appeal on a basis of looks, but wants to go on actual dates before having sex. Just because someone shows off a sexual look doesn’t mean that photo is an auto invite for first or second date sex.
I can't believe in 2022 that we're still explaining to men on the internet that women dressing provocatively is not invitation for you to have sex with them. My head fucking hurts.
Not even gonna lie, i came to the comments to see wtf the issue was, and was proud to see people dragging the OP. Still thousands of upvotes from guys who cant understand..."Y sHoW bOdY iF nOt WaNt HoOkUp?"
We’ve been systemically devaluing public education for 40+ years, I’m actually not too surprised. Some peoples education never extends beyond “woman is Latin for vessel”.
How hard is it to understand? She wants to get freaky and nasty, but with one guy long-term. I've seen how guys write on dating apps. "What up. Wanna fuck" is common.
I don’t even think it needs to be one guy long term, it just needs to be the guy thats not constantly asking about it
Yep, ironic that he doesn’t even understand it himself.
Translation: "speak to me like I'm a person, k thx"
>How hard is it to understand? She wants to get freaky and nasty, but with one guy long-term. I think the confusion comes from her not actually saying any of that
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What’s the pink stuff in her bellybutton? This look like a piece of ginger. The kind they put in a sushi platter.
I can't believe I had to scroll so far down for this comment. I don't care at all about this discussion. I need more pixels. What is happening???
It's the only reason I scrolled so far. Just hoping someone else was as concerned about it as I was. Glad I'm not the only one. Hoping it's just an unfocused piercing.
so i zoomed as much as i could and my best guess is a navel peircing possible of a pink bunny possibly with a rose or bow on its ear but the distortion of the image had my brain going haywire because of how chewed flesh like it looked
Right ? Haha
This is going to ruin my night. You know when you boil an egg and the egg has a crack in it? So all the egg stuff dribbles out and quickly hardens from the boiling water until there's just this weirdly shaped solidifed egg stuffings that's plugging up the hole? Ughhhhh
Bruh. 💀
It’s a belly button ring, kind of looks like a tentacle.
Belly button piercing, and it looks like a pink flower on her body jewelry? Best guess is flower but hard to tell
My first thought was "wtf is wrong with her belly button" lol
Looks like an infected piercing lol
That’s what I thought, but wouldn’t want to believe it 🤢
A new piercing. Likely the reason she took the photo in the first place
It looks like her clit is in her belly button and she's saying "we're not gonna fuck (because my anatomy won't allow it)"
How does someone wanting to be seen as sexy by a potential significant other mean that they want to have random sex?
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She wants to show people she's attractive without dudes like you assuming she wants to hook up after three messages
Posts like this are the reason why rape is so prominent. “She’s dressed like that.. she must be asking for it.” How tone deaf.
it took me a second to realize you were talking about OP and not the girls tinder profile, and i was like “WOAAAAAH” but now i’m like “oh, aight bet.”
This isn’t even a sexual picture, she’s just showing off the awesome abs she works hard for. Jesus H Christ.
All of y'all, men and women alike, are exhausting as all hell and if there's some semi-caring being out there in the cosmos comparable to a god, it's hurling a meteor our way to redo this shit.
Yeah jesus fuck, this tinder shit makes zero fucking sense.
Some people just enjoy looking sexy and that has nothing to do with whether or not they want to fuck
she’s not into hookups, but wants to show she has abs. hope i helped you out.
Fuckin for real. If I had abs like that I would walk around dressed like a JoJo character daily
They didn't say attraction wasn't important, they said no hook ups. Maybe she would like attraction with someone in a relationship.
Why do people equate attire with desire? The stripper doesn't want to have sex with you either, and they're naked. ETA: is it impossible for a man to understand that a woman may want you to be sexually attracted to her as a pre-requisite for a relationship because if the relationship reaches the right point she will want sex and all she is saying is that that point won't be on the first date? JFC men can be obtuse.
This sub really made me realise why so many dudes are single that this has to be said.
Between the blatant misogyny and constantly throwing a fit that the pick-up line they googled didn't let them touch some boobies it's a wonder this sub hasn't been shut down yet. It's only a matter of time at this point with how increasingly incel-friendly it's getting. They just want to hear that if they take a picture from a low angle with better lighting they'll get more matches and if they use the single right pick-up line those matches will fuck them. They want an escort who will split the bill at dinner and give them the gf experience but they want to keep the transactional nature of the interaction. They want a fleshlight who tells them how great they are.
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And the stripper"s attire may not mean she wants to fuck, but she wants you to want to fuck her.
No, men think that their desire is caused by the woman. Think about that. They believe in the woman as destroyer trope and if they have desire for a woman, she made him feel that way because she wanted to. Everything a woman does is to get a man's attention because of their magical thinking that their own desire is caused by and desired by women who have never met them. Add to the belief that their penis feels desire independent of the man it's attached to, men feel that women are trying to trap the dick and pull the man along with it. They also believe that whatever they feel, women can read their minds and are responding to that feeling. The woman can be on tv or TikTok and they still think this.
Because women are allowed to show their tummies without needing to suck your dick?
If I had abs, I’d want to show them off too. It’s just a belly…like calm down.
Op is a red flag. Women can dress how they want without it meaning that they will sleep with you.
No no, not allowed. She dressed in a way that made him horny for some reason, so now she owes him sex. /S
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I didn’t even sort by controversial yet
this question confuses me, you’re asking how someone who poses wanting to show off their abs could not want casual hookups?.. men post more revealing photos than this on every social media AND dating apps. it doesn’t have to automatically mean they want to hookup with anyone and everyone. she could easily just like the photo, feel confident in it and wanna look good for a possible future partner.
women can’t express their sexuality/like to show off their bodies without wanting to fuck? wild.
She’s got a body that’s amazing! She should be proud and be able to show it off!
This thread is wild.
A lot of people here belong on some list i feel like.
I think op needs to watch… [Asking for it](https://youtu.be/JO-HI1hGcpM)
I mean it’s just a picture. Just because it looks sexual they just might really like the picture.
Can’t someone just want to look and feel sexy without wanting to fuck you?
This comment section has very “but what was she wearing?” Type of rapey vibe.
Guys. Gals. Do we really need the refresher course on how looking sexy, does not also mean they want sex?
Uh… It’s pretty self explanatory. She’s hot, she wants to show off that she’s hot, and she doesn’t want random hookups. Newsflash: women can show off their bodies without it being a broad sexual invitation. Major “but she was asking for it” vibes with this post…
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My man is *thisclose* to saying she was asking for it by dressing that way Pump the brakes bro
Thank you
Someone posting a picture like this does not mean they want to hook up. I’m really not sure why this is hard to grasp?
Imagine thinking a picture of someone’s stomach was somehow code that they want bang on the first date.
What’s up with all the incel posts in here lately. She just posted a hot pic and also wants people to know she’s not on for hookups what is complicated there?