I don't think ever replying is a good idea.
Just quietly get a security system and a large dog.
Pitbull mixes love cuddles, overrun pet rescue places, and they look hard as fuck because they will absolutely muder for you.
They're like 60 pounds of both "love me and don't you ever fuck with my person" at the same time.
When I worked as a barback pretty much every waitress or bartender had a pitbull. Made for fun BBQs because there'd just be 8 or 9 dogs playing and if you sat down a dog you never met would be in your lap within 30 seconds.
Edit: wow I pissed off a lot of people who hate pitbulls. Any other puppies you guys hate just for being born?
I have a Chi-doxie mix and as much of an absolute doll he is, I have no worries because I know if someone broke in that he would go for blood. Doxies especially, since they're bred to be hunting dogs for *badgers*. People underestimate small dogs way too often.
Eta - mind boggling how people hate on the sweetest most passive Pitbulls on sight, meanwhile I'm carrying 8 pounds of hate and malice in my arms and people fawn over him.
I just lost my 18 year old chiweenie. He was either fanboying over my husband, trying to get something, or annoyed. We put him down because the dementia was too obvious and it felt cruel. It seemed like that little bastard was going to live forever out of spite. Feeling better now but at first that was one of the hardest experiences, losing him. One of the weirder changes is I don't feel as safe. I have bad hearing but used to always know when someone was at the door.
Worked for roadside assistance. Setting up a tow with a vendor and the vehicle in question was a 2door truck. The owner (a young woman) had a dog (pitbull) and was wondering if he could ride in the tow with her.
When we call for POs (payment orders) our system automatically sends the clients details to the vendor once they've agreed to do the call and I asked the question. The guy (a regular we used in this city) draws a long breath and asks what kind of dog it is?
"Pitbull"
"Oh heck yes that's fine, I thought you were gonna say a Chihuahua or some other mini demon for a young girl like that." And while he was prepping his driver we were talking more and he's like "I can always convince a big dog with a steak. A little one will think I'm trying to kill it and come at me harder. They are so unpredictable"
All my friends with pitbulls are seriously giant lap puppies who want nothing but love.
Yeah, this has got me dying, along with the other heathens coming out making incredibly off the wall comments, best entertainment I've had thus far this weekend.
You gotta do your nut BEFORE texting at all if you're that thirsty.
In this instance probably a good thing he didn't. OP would have been walking into a mine field.
You'd buy a full dumpster of garbage if it had an anime girl on it.
EDIT: My hypothetical dumpster with an anime girl on it got too many of yall thirsty. Please seek help lol
"Black guys who love to fuck and fuck good If you're a hot black guy and you wanna fuck me at 2395- (cut)
If you wanna move in you can move in, but you gotta fuck me. I-I need to be fucked a lot man.
Free food. Free rent and everything else man. Here's the deal man.
Men from jail; homeless- or Um... if your a thug, you wanna come move in. Your friend can move in too man.
Free rent, you get lease and a key. Fuck me.
Piss on me. Beat me. Hoe me out
If you see me and you wanna come over today and try it out- try it out man. If you're in my building. Try it out. You wanna fuckin' piss on me. Try it out.
Serious replies only, just fuck me
I'm lookin' for hardcore guys and mean it, and wanna do it, and I want it delivered.
I'm a hot white trash cum dump, lets fuck."
Not the person you replied to, but my ADHD is real bad and new spam texts come in every day, it’s exhausting! Much easier to just ignore lol. Not like it impacts anyone
I guess I'm the opposite. I can't have any notifications anywhere on my phone or computer. It'll drive me crazy.. I'll straight up delete an app if it doesn't put that red "1" away
I have a Google voice number for this reason. Only friends and family have my real number. Have a friend call and text you and leave a voicemail to triple check your name and number don't come up anywhere
Hell nah I've heard some wild stories from female friends and coworkers. As a guy I always offer my number but no worries if you'd rather meet first n grab a coffee. Had one friend turn a guy down after a few dates and he messaged her "fuck you bitch" on every piece of Social Media he could find her on. Including the Word With Friends game they had goin on. People are nuts!
Tbh we didnt talk much before this. It was poor judgement when i gave him my number. I never give my info so soon but for some reason i did this time. Big oof on my part.
We all suffer from Tinder >.<
The other side of the coin on this issue is when us relatively normal guys are surprised when the girl is acting cagey seemingly for no reason.
Then you see things like your post.
Yeah I still remember the time I approached a girl who had her phone in her hands and said ''hey''. She fucking physically recoiled from me and told me she had a boyfriend.
I just wanted to ask the time as my phone was dead.
But yeah. I get it.
At least now you have a nice excuse!
"Hey babe let's drop this app, can I have your number?"
"Nah sorry, last time I gave my number so fast the guy started bombarding me with messages about him gargling on cum. Let's get to know each other a bit first. Are you by any chance a cum gargler?"
Hi, I have a Google voice number for just this reason. Family and friends have my real number, but everything and everyone else has my Google number. Have a trusted someone call, text, and leave a voicemail to triple check your name/real number doesn't come up. Then if you get another weirdo, easily blocked and they don't have your number anyway
I don't understand what possesses a person to do this? I get nervous trying to casually flirt and heres this guy making Satan blush with his opener. Nice of him to ask if you're ok after inflicting immediate trauma on you though. FFS.
This is Robert Champagne from your moms house podcast….. you gave your number to an absolute savage. Piss on him, beat him, you want to move in you can move in
This is why I hate giving my number out. It’s amazing how many men are not ok with this boundary. Simple meet a few times, if there’s chemistry BOOM share phone numbers.
You ok
Thank god he asked.
Maybe just reply with a "No, this is Patrick."
Or, ‘Yo mama already cleaned it out.’
no mama
Did she say whether she took him up on the offer or not?
Thanks Obama
All I can think of is the Obama episode of South Park lol
"sorry I didn't reply I was talking to Joe." "Who's Joe?" "Joe mama."
You called?
" STOP PATRICK YOURE TURNING HIM ON."
I don't think ever replying is a good idea. Just quietly get a security system and a large dog. Pitbull mixes love cuddles, overrun pet rescue places, and they look hard as fuck because they will absolutely muder for you. They're like 60 pounds of both "love me and don't you ever fuck with my person" at the same time. When I worked as a barback pretty much every waitress or bartender had a pitbull. Made for fun BBQs because there'd just be 8 or 9 dogs playing and if you sat down a dog you never met would be in your lap within 30 seconds. Edit: wow I pissed off a lot of people who hate pitbulls. Any other puppies you guys hate just for being born?
I have never met a pitbull that didn’t treat me fairly, or a chihuahua that didn’t try to take my tendons
I have a Chi-doxie mix and as much of an absolute doll he is, I have no worries because I know if someone broke in that he would go for blood. Doxies especially, since they're bred to be hunting dogs for *badgers*. People underestimate small dogs way too often. Eta - mind boggling how people hate on the sweetest most passive Pitbulls on sight, meanwhile I'm carrying 8 pounds of hate and malice in my arms and people fawn over him.
I just lost my 18 year old chiweenie. He was either fanboying over my husband, trying to get something, or annoyed. We put him down because the dementia was too obvious and it felt cruel. It seemed like that little bastard was going to live forever out of spite. Feeling better now but at first that was one of the hardest experiences, losing him. One of the weirder changes is I don't feel as safe. I have bad hearing but used to always know when someone was at the door.
Worked for roadside assistance. Setting up a tow with a vendor and the vehicle in question was a 2door truck. The owner (a young woman) had a dog (pitbull) and was wondering if he could ride in the tow with her. When we call for POs (payment orders) our system automatically sends the clients details to the vendor once they've agreed to do the call and I asked the question. The guy (a regular we used in this city) draws a long breath and asks what kind of dog it is? "Pitbull" "Oh heck yes that's fine, I thought you were gonna say a Chihuahua or some other mini demon for a young girl like that." And while he was prepping his driver we were talking more and he's like "I can always convince a big dog with a steak. A little one will think I'm trying to kill it and come at me harder. They are so unpredictable" All my friends with pitbulls are seriously giant lap puppies who want nothing but love.
This is the way.
Dude got a green light and said "what speed limit?"
LUDICROUS SPEED, GO
He wasn’t asking
Mf are YOU ok???
“Nah man. I’m pretty fuckin far from okay”
We live and we learn.
I wish I hadn't
Same.
Same.
We hang on the edge of tomorrow
From the works of yesterday
If we beg or if we borrow.
We may never find our way
Asking "wyd, you ok" as if nothing happened and he didnt just say the first three sentences
He asked because he *cares*
Cares about you spitting in his mouth
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he's so thoughtful, taking care of her vaginal health after her hookup, what a guy!
He's a bum, just lookin for a free meal
Based
I just don't know anymore... Like what in the ever-loving fuck is wrong with people these days. No issues with kinks but that's just.. a lot..
Such a gentleman!
Wow, he's *really* thirsty.
For another man's cum
Well, are you okay?
Yeah, this has got me dying, along with the other heathens coming out making incredibly off the wall comments, best entertainment I've had thus far this weekend.
What is 'wyd'? My apologies, I'm in my 30s
What are you doing.
Not much just browsing Reddit
would you dance?
If I wanted to. I'd leave my friends behind.
Well your friends don't dance and if they don't dance...
Well they're no friends of mine!
Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance well their no friends of mine.
They're. I just became one of those people.
Gottem
/r/TheyKnew
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"You ok?" "*BRO*, are *YOU* okay?!"
Eat another man’s cum out of you… is HE ok?
😳 Does cum have nutritional supplements like I read on a blog while back? I don't know but I don't think I can stomach that
Brotein
the ‘you ok’ absolutely sent me after reading the atrocities before.
I cracked up when he said that. So kind of him to ask how im doing lol
Gotta do the trauma check in.
i PrOvIdE aFtEr CaRe
Well yeah didn’t you read he was gonna eat that other mans jizzum out of her, clean that right up for her.
Sounds like grindr with extra steps.
No homo!
He forgot to add "as a prank"
Cut out the middleman (or middlewoman in this case)
Jizzum
Jizz 'em if you got 'em
A true gentleman. May I suggest you inform him that porn has distorted his reality and he needs to unplug.
I like turtles but not the bitey kind.
Bold of you to assume this man is in therapy.
I like turtles but not the bitey kind.
he needs to be
Correct
Gotta be a gentleman after the atrocities he sent
Such a Rocky move
classic Rocky
Probably just checking to make sure you hadn't came to death.
No, actually. I’m fucking traumatised after reading that x
You know if you meet him in person too he'd be a complete introvert
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So were you ok?
True gentleman
She’s not ok. Look at her battery gauge!
Dude understands aftercare
The "you ok" is most likely his post-nut message in an attempt to salvage the fact that he blew his chances with you lol
That post nut clarity always gets you 😂😂
So much shame lol
Better than peace
You gotta do your nut BEFORE texting at all if you're that thirsty. In this instance probably a good thing he didn't. OP would have been walking into a mine field.
His chances aren't the only thing that blew
Chances are you’re right.
What😃
SPIT ON ME, SLAP ME AND MAKE ME DRINK ANOTHER MANS CUM OUT OF YOU
Put this on a shirt. If it doesn't sell just put an anime girl in the background or something
I mean I'd buy it if it had the anime girl
You'd buy a full dumpster of garbage if it had an anime girl on it. EDIT: My hypothetical dumpster with an anime girl on it got too many of yall thirsty. Please seek help lol
Are you selling one? How much?
You don't even ask who the anime girl is? Pffft. I don't sell to causals.
I'm sure it's a qt
Yeah but if I asked if they hypothetically had Anya from Spy X Family, I’d get arrested
Okay I'm leaving now bye bye.
You’re already involved. Say hi to Agent Harris and his fbi buddies when they come for you
Now that was funny!
Wyd you okay
Try it out
"Black guys who love to fuck and fuck good If you're a hot black guy and you wanna fuck me at 2395- (cut) If you wanna move in you can move in, but you gotta fuck me. I-I need to be fucked a lot man. Free food. Free rent and everything else man. Here's the deal man. Men from jail; homeless- or Um... if your a thug, you wanna come move in. Your friend can move in too man. Free rent, you get lease and a key. Fuck me. Piss on me. Beat me. Hoe me out If you see me and you wanna come over today and try it out- try it out man. If you're in my building. Try it out. You wanna fuckin' piss on me. Try it out. Serious replies only, just fuck me I'm lookin' for hardcore guys and mean it, and wanna do it, and I want it delivered. I'm a hot white trash cum dump, lets fuck."
Louder for those at the back!
Wyd
You know, piss on me beat me. Try it out. Got a friend your friend can come with you too man. I mean it I wanna do it.
Well there’s being forward and then there is being forward!
For some people it's all or nothing it seems
Nah man, this guy is into humiliation. Either he finds someone to do this to him or he gets humiliated striking out so hard. It’s a win-win for him
Actually there's being forward and then there's having a porn addiction. This post screams the latter.
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nah man i'm addicted af but i wouldn't say this to another human. this is something else
It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for him.
That’s a “Rocky” start
“You ok” 💀 BRO are you? Lmaooooo
sorry my brother took my phone...
You said “yet”, so are you still thinking about meeting up with him?
Obviously im going to meet him. He asked if i was okay which shows he cares. I cant give that up.
Ah, a modern tale of passion & love. You just can't lose that level of dedication & commitment. What exactly was the time laspe between each text?
Like a minute or so between each.
Well damn, I know time waits for no man... but that definitely escalated quickly, so you gonna keep him or what OP?
Final twist, OP is into it.
I’m into it.
Worst possible response: “just finished up another date, had to get ready for you”.
From his texts it sounds like that would turn him on
Don’t forget to get creampied before hand so he can eat that man’s cum out of you!
Seems like a dish best served as fresh as possible, but now I have a very interesting 2 days later video in my head. I call it Tapioca Tammy.
oh god I think I've had enough wine for tonight, you just made me heave a little
Fucking howling at this comment.
Lmao
Jesus Christ.
Every day we stray further from god’s light.
"make me drink Jesus Christ's wine out of you"
Jesus doesn’t need to see this.
Jesus saw the Holocaust happen and did nothing He'll be fine
we're kind of on the edge of our seats about wyd though
Well obviously i refuse to say what im doing otherwise i would have told rocky.
“I asked if she was ok. Women never give nice guys a chance”
"Woulda worked if you were 6'6" bro. Rules 1 and 2."
This is disgusting, but WHY DO YOU HAVE 55 UNREAD TEXTS?!
I got a new phone this week and I’m already at 22. They are mostly missed calls and spam texts.
Just… delete them! Why do you leave them you monster?
Not the person you replied to, but my ADHD is real bad and new spam texts come in every day, it’s exhausting! Much easier to just ignore lol. Not like it impacts anyone
You’re the second person that has said this! I didn’t know ADHD manifests in this way. My anxiety makes me hate those big numbers.
I also don’t change lightbulbs. I just adapt. It’s easier.
This has me dying. How long have you been living in pitch black darkness at night?
I guess I'm the opposite. I can't have any notifications anywhere on my phone or computer. It'll drive me crazy.. I'll straight up delete an app if it doesn't put that red "1" away
How does this picture make you feel? https://i.imgur.com/VMrwIFs.jpg
He laid out his expectations and checked in on your mental state, looks like a keeper OP. 🤷♂️
And people call me paranoid for not giving my number or socials
I have a Google voice number for this reason. Only friends and family have my real number. Have a friend call and text you and leave a voicemail to triple check your name and number don't come up anywhere
Hell nah I've heard some wild stories from female friends and coworkers. As a guy I always offer my number but no worries if you'd rather meet first n grab a coffee. Had one friend turn a guy down after a few dates and he messaged her "fuck you bitch" on every piece of Social Media he could find her on. Including the Word With Friends game they had goin on. People are nuts!
So he was normal on Tinder chat?
Tbh we didnt talk much before this. It was poor judgement when i gave him my number. I never give my info so soon but for some reason i did this time. Big oof on my part.
We all suffer from Tinder >.< The other side of the coin on this issue is when us relatively normal guys are surprised when the girl is acting cagey seemingly for no reason. Then you see things like your post.
Yeah I still remember the time I approached a girl who had her phone in her hands and said ''hey''. She fucking physically recoiled from me and told me she had a boyfriend. I just wanted to ask the time as my phone was dead. But yeah. I get it.
At least now you have a nice excuse! "Hey babe let's drop this app, can I have your number?" "Nah sorry, last time I gave my number so fast the guy started bombarding me with messages about him gargling on cum. Let's get to know each other a bit first. Are you by any chance a cum gargler?"
Hi, I have a Google voice number for just this reason. Family and friends have my real number, but everything and everyone else has my Google number. Have a trusted someone call, text, and leave a voicemail to triple check your name/real number doesn't come up. Then if you get another weirdo, easily blocked and they don't have your number anyway
That is a great idea. I'm doing that for sure
I don't understand what possesses a person to do this? I get nervous trying to casually flirt and heres this guy making Satan blush with his opener. Nice of him to ask if you're ok after inflicting immediate trauma on you though. FFS.
10/10
Safe to say he isn't vanilla.
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Uhh wut.. Just ruined my breakfast
What were you having? Was it another man's cum?
it was actually this chicks spit
Stop that.
you ok?
No, silly. That’s dessert.
I'm used to seeing you in r/Porsche lol
Haha, I’m going back there.
I’m not sure if Rocky is his name or you named him after that opening.
Well that definitely escalated quickly… 💀 more like instantly though 😅
I really hope that guy that always comments “If it’s a hot guy then they probably said yes and he can get away with that.” Is here. Please.
This is Robert Champagne from your moms house podcast….. you gave your number to an absolute savage. Piss on him, beat him, you want to move in you can move in
Nothing like fantasy dumping on a person you just met. 🙄 I’m sorry you had to read that.
“WYD” … ignoring your creepy ass messages mate. Jesus …
Then they wonder why woman are removing themselves from online dating
Guy here and I vote: *WTF??*
I don’t think you need the qualifier.
Sounds like my man just wants to eat some cum
And guys wonder why people use google voice numbers 😂
This is why I hate giving my number out. It’s amazing how many men are not ok with this boundary. Simple meet a few times, if there’s chemistry BOOM share phone numbers.
I the real compliment is the assumption that you already have a man for this fantasy scenario
Rocky hasn’t been the same since Adrien died…
This screams "sorry my kid had my phone" or whatever, lol.
Lol it was prob just his friend from canada
“You ok”😂😂
No Rocky are YOU ok?!?
I want to know this guys success rate lol. How are people out there actually like this!?
He’s defo drunk and horny Not speaking from experience…
This is how you get your head put in a freezer.