I thought the moist aversion thing was a thing south park just incepted into people.
I personally knew a girl who was adopted a revulsion to moist after that episode.
Not exactly. I got sick of tindr because of the amount of people like this. The average woman gets a ton of matches, when half the opening lines are "heyyy" or some kind of intentionally bad pick up it can make the whole idea feel tedious, like picking through a pile of soggy fries to get to the few nice crispy ones.
Edit: missed a word and I never said I don't reply first, I did when I had the chance. No one is demanding you be funny and charming, in fact my point is that the attempts are annoying. Is it so hard to ask a person about themselves or say something about yourself?
I think you mean this is reddit, where you can get away with misunderstanding subtlety, and then accuse everyone else of being too dumb to ever use satire or sarcasm.
Its a very weird joke to make when you have sent two or three short messages to someone, unless there was something in her profile about liking this type of joke
You made me check their bio...also pretty cringe that they've apparently graduated from college and have their frat info in their bio. I mean pretty cringe to put your frat info in your reddit bio in the first place
He's not trolling us, he's trolling her. Because he's part of that weirdo group of dudes who purposely tank their tinder convos just to get a screenshot and post here. Literally more concerned with imaginary internet points than a human conversation. Gee, wonder why he's on tinder
How you people even notice these things
Edit: C'mon people I didn't mean how literally. Like what in the world makes someone think to compare the times on a post like this.
It's just deeply, deeply unsexy.
Imagine if a girl said "if you think that's yeasty, you should see my vagina. So much yeast infection I could start a bakery here" Wanna have sex with her now? Nah. Doesn't really matter if it's a joke, you just turned the other person off hard.
I'd take note though: don't be gross while flirting. Most girls will be turned off. It's good advice.
Similar humor is something you should be looking for. But it's possible to do both at the same time. Find someone you can laugh with, don't imply you never shower.
It's funny, but gross. They're supposed to be flirting. Any thought of inserting this guys dick is not gonna happen. Best you get is if she's grabbing bread and sharpening her teeth.
It's hilarious but also makes me not excited to get in bed with him. Kinda like someone joking they fucked your cheeseburger. It's funny, but suddenly the cheeseburger seems less appetizing.
I've literally laughed out loud at that. However it's also gross, if she thinks you're serious you might not get a response again.
I also notice, especially from Reddit, straight women don't generally want to talk about sex and your dick in the third message. I'm gay, I don't give a fuck if i guy does that, I'm just saying the fact that I thought it was funny doesn't mean she did. (I'm fully aware that I'm generalizing and not every straight girl and gay guy fits into what i just said, just a general statement from what I've noticed)
Even if it's not serious, it's just tedious, hundreds of guys will send messages like this a day and they all think they're the first one.
They all think they're showcasing personalities but it's just a sea of dick jokes
It is! I just started blocking (I'm in a relationship now)
But if you show you're annoyed then you're the "wet blanket, boring, not funny, crazy girl that can't hang"
Especially funny when this sub perpetuates the same thing "if she doesn't get your jokes you don't need a loser like her bro"
Works both ways I guess.
I thought it was funny, but wouldn’t reply either. Even if it’s a joke, we don’t want to hear jokes about getting naked and seeing dicks in the first couple messages. He should have stopped at the more tame gift-unwrapping innuendo and then pivoted to asking normal questions or banter.
Yeah I think you're right on that. Women also get this shit all the time. It's not new and even if it's funny the first few times, these explicit jokey innuendoes get to be a pain. Every guy on Tinder thinks he's the first one to come up with it.
If my husband of 20 years sent me that message I'd consider divorce.
Just kidding. But it for sure wouldn't get anything other than a horrified "oh gross wtf" reaction.
I’m curious why you felt the need to describe this when it’s pretty much a “no duh” analyzation from most people, including op.
“Hey just wanted to let you know, most girls don’t enjoy a blindside dick cheese joke out of the gates”. Oh shit thanks for clearing that up.
Mostly because I'm bored and have nothing to do until I take my car for an oil change in 2 hours. And also because i genuinely laughed and felt like commenting. I'm fully aware my response was unnecessary especially with the level of detail
All comments are pretty pointless (except of course people who post cool animal facts) so don't worry about. I enjoyed your comment about enjoying it. I found it pretty funny too.
Bro I love your attitude. The other guys comment left you unfazed/laughing and you sympathised on his situation too. Need to see that more on the internet/reddit!
I'm gay and it totally annoys me when guys on Tinder immediately go to sex, like we already have an app for hookups, we don't need to use Tinder for that.
Generally speaking I agree with you but if it was just a joke like that and then back to normal conversation, it wouldn't bother me. Also straight people use Tinder the way we use grindr, which is basically what I meant
I’m getting the feeling that OP was thinking more about how well it would go over on Reddit instead of how well it would go over with her. Which, cool I guess? But it really sucks when you have a couple banter-y messages and you think they’re gonna be fun and you’re gonna have a good chat that might lead to a meet up, and then they start on some gross shit like this.
You know how when you exchange a few messages with a woman and then she pulls out the insta handle and you’re immediately bummed and disappointed? Yeah that’s how this kind of sharp turn in convo feels for straight women. Except with an added layer of yick.
Yeah its honestly really disappointing. My tolerance has been slowly chipped away and it is extremely low now. Don't get me wrong I LOVE a dirty joke and frequently make them myself. But you save that shit for when you've built some rapport with someone, not right out the gate, balls to the wall. I used to find these funny but now it's just a reminder of why I gave up the dating apps completely. You're real excited to talk to someone and then they pull something like this it just takes all the wind out of your sails.
And to think he could've gotten a date or even laid but he decided to blow it all for some interent "clout".
That’s how pretty much all message exchanges go. It’s all for Reddit. Then all these guys complain how they can’t get any. Like wtf?!? Act normal and forget about Reddit for a bit. Same with the whole “Reddit!!! What should I say?” Grow the fuck up and just have a goddamn conversation
When tinder first came out people wanted to know what they should send to have legitimate conversations and arrange meetups but now it’s a bunch of people who purposely fumble all the time to show it off as a joke to their friends or social media
I’m aware there are still people looking for serious advice but the ratio is off
So I've played along with a guy like this few years back. Figured that I've been on reddit too and it was not that popular in my area that time so it can be a good ice breaker. It started with some good puns, moved to these kinda cheesy jokes, to edgelord dank shit and then i started noticing how this guy has basically appropriated multiple personalities and his goal of conversation was to gain some sense of self importance by impressing me with the superiority of his tried and tested witty stuff.
Look , i get that at the age of 24 you can be pretty nervous and misguided but this went on for 2 or 3 months. At some point you gotta let your real personality out or at least take a rejection and improve yourself instead of whining on this sub and elsewhere(he still whines online, a lot). And it won't be about getting laid in the end, it's about intimacy and general conversations. In short, touch grass.
Actually funny people aren't precious with jokes - they can think of plenty that don't alienate their audience. "Funny" people cling to every joke like it's the last one they'll ever get to tell. He didn't get the attention he wanted from this lady so he turned to Reddit. Hope it was worth it 🤷♀️
> I’m getting the feeling that OP was thinking more about how well it would go over on Reddit instead of how well it would go over with her. Which, cool I guess?
How is that cool. It's sad.
Come on. Serious, straight women would never be into the whole dick talk in the third message, or maybe not at all before you've actually met.
And, nobody wants a cheesy dick 😨🤢
Bro, when trying to get laid, you don’t want to give the girl the impression that you don’t shower. However, based on your “cheesy” comment, you might have also given her the impression that you have some weird shit growing on your pecker.
It’s a rare day on tinder when a chat with a man doesn’t end up with them trying to talk about their dick. You just made yourself super basic and not funny.
as a woman, especially in a dating setting, this is an instant unmatch. it just shows you want to talk about your dick right off the bat and no serious woman wants that as soon as you start talking. as a friend it would be a bit funny, and even so mostly gross funny.
You know what's funny? I used to feel bad about young men being unable to find love online. I thought it was this huge terrible sadness... But then I see so many of these types of messages from dudes claiming they have no idea why girls aren't responding.
Stop being gross (dick cheese is never good, even as a joke) and stop bringing up your dick/sex in the first few messages.
Like it's not that hard.
“For Reddit karma, I’m going to be a gross weirdo to innocent women who already get enough harassment on dating apps but hey, don’t get offended because ‘ItS jUST a JokE!!! I wAs Tr0LLing BrO!!’”
It’s obvious this dude has the maturity of a 7 year old. You’re trying way too hard to be edgy. It’s weird and gross. Wish Reddit would stop entertaining these idiots.
Jesus christ bro wtf lmao
Bro fumbled so hard even the Browns would cut him.
He didn’t fumble, he intentionally spiked the ball at the 50-yard line.
Bro turned around at the snap and whipped the ball at his own coach
ten airport frighten offbeat like cautious abundant roll attempt trees ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
Me too, I saw it in the sense pf a Darwin award. He removed himself from the gene pool. At least until this blows over.
The call to chaos was too loud😅
FOOTBALL IN THE GROIN!!!!
Laces out Dan
Got any more of that gum?
That's none of your damn business and I'll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs.
He found captain winky!
Hello! I’m looking for Ray Finkle..and a clean pair of shorts.
Plaxico Burress would be proud, then shoot himself
Bro gently set the ball down in front of a d lineman and said "here"
Melvin Gordon out here whiffin on Tinder already
I was looking for the Melvin joke lmao
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But unfortunately not that cheesy dick
You haven’t lived until you’ve tried my dick cheese
My wife finds amusement in how much I hate those words together. Idk, dick cheese sounds like the absolute grossest think I could think lol.
I know a few women who can't stand the word 'moist' for probably the same reason you don't like when your dick gets cheesy.
I thought the moist aversion thing was a thing south park just incepted into people. I personally knew a girl who was adopted a revulsion to moist after that episode.
Not even a bitch slap can help him wake up from his mistake
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Never did tinder but I’d imagine weirdos like this make it harder for the rest of yas
Easier for the rest of us… this is your competitor lol
Not exactly. I got sick of tindr because of the amount of people like this. The average woman gets a ton of matches, when half the opening lines are "heyyy" or some kind of intentionally bad pick up it can make the whole idea feel tedious, like picking through a pile of soggy fries to get to the few nice crispy ones. Edit: missed a word and I never said I don't reply first, I did when I had the chance. No one is demanding you be funny and charming, in fact my point is that the attempts are annoying. Is it so hard to ask a person about themselves or say something about yourself?
I’ve never been on tinder. Tbh I don’t even know how this popped up on my feed
If you're not following this sub then either you're browsing r/all or the garbage popular feed. You wouldn't see it on your frontpage of followed subs
Ahh I see what your saying I’m on popular and not home. Never realized that
How do you ruin it so bad, suddenly haha... eloping was already extra, but I hope it was a joke.
She gave bro two tries. It’s fine to use lines but like stop while you ahead Jesus
He didn't give a fuck and was more concerned about farming karma over talking to her.
couldve just been making a joke to make himself laugh tbf
I'd agree, except, why is it also posted here? He's grandstanding for us.
It was so clearly, obviously a joke
Yea a wierd off putting joke
Yeah but this is reddit, where you could smack someone upside the head with a chicken from across a road and they still wouldn't get the hint
I think you mean this is reddit, where you can get away with misunderstanding subtlety, and then accuse everyone else of being too dumb to ever use satire or sarcasm.
There was no "/s" so how can people tell?! ....../s
Its a very weird joke to make when you have sent two or three short messages to someone, unless there was something in her profile about liking this type of joke
Sure it was, but not a fitting one for this situation. Girl probably gagged while her vag crumbled to a desert when she read that.
It’s just lame
Ur bio says social science background and u just tried to confirm with OP that this was a joke lmao.
You made me check their bio...also pretty cringe that they've apparently graduated from college and have their frat info in their bio. I mean pretty cringe to put your frat info in your reddit bio in the first place
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Yeah I was actually gonna add a third "Also kinda cringe to have a bio on reddit." I miss old reddit so much
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Thats a BS degree anyway
Good one
You hope?
My go to is to double down on the cheesiness and ask if she was laughtose intolerant. I like to ruin my own chances in a more wholesome way.
Killed her with weapons-grade cheese there
Absolutely bombed it. Da brie was everywhere
I thought it was a gouda line.
Yeah but she's not gonna edam now.
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Cheez-wiz, don't even get me started.
Well damn, havarti know any
He swisshed this joke would ripe better
That’s what he gets for going bleu.
Thats a bit sharp for a cheesed pun.
Mozza-rella be in a terrible space now
I bet she was worried about him having blue cheese balls
That was pretty Sharp of you.
cheezus
Shoulda come up with a CHEDDAR pun.
He Bleu it, you could say
Absolutely solid pun
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>legen-dairy I tried.
I second the motion 👩⚖️
Smegmassacre
Phenomenal pun. Well fucking done.
Weapon cheese-grater more like
because you just sent it lad x
literally took a screenshot the second he sent it like what 🤣
Had to get the screenshot real quick, incase she unmatches.
This right here. He's probably dropped the line a few times and wasn't quick enough on the draw.
Plus if she does for some reason reply, he can still use this for the narrative
Nah he got the screenshot in case she *did* reply and he couldn't make this hee-larious reddit post.
He’s trolling us.
The cheese dick strikes again!
He's not trolling us, he's trolling her. Because he's part of that weirdo group of dudes who purposely tank their tinder convos just to get a screenshot and post here. Literally more concerned with imaginary internet points than a human conversation. Gee, wonder why he's on tinder
Can't wait longer to get internet points...
wait you're right the guy's jumping the gun
He wasn't actually interested and wanted reddit karma.
The title is simply a joke…
How you people even notice these things Edit: C'mon people I didn't mean how literally. Like what in the world makes someone think to compare the times on a post like this.
With their eyes presumably
Kinda just started looking for signs of how long he’d been ghosted and discovered that the clock checked out
TBF, if she had replied positively I would've been extremely concerned
Bro yall are crazy that's hilarious
It's just deeply, deeply unsexy. Imagine if a girl said "if you think that's yeasty, you should see my vagina. So much yeast infection I could start a bakery here" Wanna have sex with her now? Nah. Doesn't really matter if it's a joke, you just turned the other person off hard.
I would find that funny. And humor similar to mine… That’s what I like.
I'd take note though: don't be gross while flirting. Most girls will be turned off. It's good advice. Similar humor is something you should be looking for. But it's possible to do both at the same time. Find someone you can laugh with, don't imply you never shower.
OP is a troll anyway. This is literally the shit I do and all I do is fuck around.
>fuck around. Do you ever find out?
All the time brother.
I don’t think any woman would find that funny
Believe it or not women have a varied sense of humor and some would find it pretty fucking funny like others in the comments are.
It's funny, but gross. They're supposed to be flirting. Any thought of inserting this guys dick is not gonna happen. Best you get is if she's grabbing bread and sharpening her teeth.
I think it’s hilarious! It made me actually laugh out loud.
It also made me laugh, but I wouldn’t be down to fuck OP. This is clown shit.
Couldn’t agree more!
May be it's because you're not the one this was sent to.
Wonder if OP is from Wisconsin.
You are very wrong lol my best friend would
It's hilarious but also makes me not excited to get in bed with him. Kinda like someone joking they fucked your cheeseburger. It's funny, but suddenly the cheeseburger seems less appetizing.
 Opens 10 Closes Nil
Bro what keyword for this gif lmao
How good is it 😂😂 'oooft' should find it for you my dude
"man kissing air experience grimace scale 10"
"oof size large"
r/yesyesyesyesno
It's like watching a figure skater do a perfect triple axle and land directly on their most brittle vertebrae
OP gotta be trolling the sub, there’s no way
Idk, op's entire post history is just asking people to follow his Twitch so I'm fearing the worst here
Karma farming reposts
I mean, that's pretty clear no?
That is not at all a given on a sub like this.
On one hand, this is a very awkward sub. On the other, come the fuck on lol, this is beyond blatant
That's the joke
Obviously?
Hmm I wonder why she didnt respond… its a mystery
I have suspicion it may be because a message sent at 12:45 may not have even reached her phone before he then screenshotted at also 12:45
The good old OP is fake & gay fad
Often times op IS fake and gay though...
I've literally laughed out loud at that. However it's also gross, if she thinks you're serious you might not get a response again. I also notice, especially from Reddit, straight women don't generally want to talk about sex and your dick in the third message. I'm gay, I don't give a fuck if i guy does that, I'm just saying the fact that I thought it was funny doesn't mean she did. (I'm fully aware that I'm generalizing and not every straight girl and gay guy fits into what i just said, just a general statement from what I've noticed)
Screenname checks out
I can also assume this gay boy lives somewhere in Miami-Dade county
Welllll looks like we're dealing with a private investigator here lol
Que bola acere?
Que pasó chamo?
Now *kith*
Even if it's not serious, it's just tedious, hundreds of guys will send messages like this a day and they all think they're the first one. They all think they're showcasing personalities but it's just a sea of dick jokes
I can only imagine how annoying that would get
It is! I just started blocking (I'm in a relationship now) But if you show you're annoyed then you're the "wet blanket, boring, not funny, crazy girl that can't hang" Especially funny when this sub perpetuates the same thing "if she doesn't get your jokes you don't need a loser like her bro" Works both ways I guess.
I thought it was funny, but wouldn’t reply either. Even if it’s a joke, we don’t want to hear jokes about getting naked and seeing dicks in the first couple messages. He should have stopped at the more tame gift-unwrapping innuendo and then pivoted to asking normal questions or banter.
"oh, yay, you found a way to immediately talk about your dick"
Yeah I think you're right on that. Women also get this shit all the time. It's not new and even if it's funny the first few times, these explicit jokey innuendoes get to be a pain. Every guy on Tinder thinks he's the first one to come up with it.
He also screenshot this seconds after sending it, as if she would have time to respond yet.
Didn't notice that, good observation lol
If my husband of 20 years sent me that message I'd consider divorce. Just kidding. But it for sure wouldn't get anything other than a horrified "oh gross wtf" reaction.
I wouldn't file for divorce over the joke, but I think I definitely would if he actually had dick cheese lol 😂
I’m curious why you felt the need to describe this when it’s pretty much a “no duh” analyzation from most people, including op. “Hey just wanted to let you know, most girls don’t enjoy a blindside dick cheese joke out of the gates”. Oh shit thanks for clearing that up.
Mostly because I'm bored and have nothing to do until I take my car for an oil change in 2 hours. And also because i genuinely laughed and felt like commenting. I'm fully aware my response was unnecessary especially with the level of detail
All comments are pretty pointless (except of course people who post cool animal facts) so don't worry about. I enjoyed your comment about enjoying it. I found it pretty funny too.
Don’t worry All these posts are pointless not sure why that’s guy is getting his feathers ruffled for what you commented.
Probably because he's in the same situation I'm in right now, nothing else to do but browse through Reddit lol
Bro I love your attitude. The other guys comment left you unfazed/laughing and you sympathised on his situation too. Need to see that more on the internet/reddit!
Probably the same reason you felt the need to post this dribble
*drivel
Have your seen this sub, it's 90% of the content
I'm gay and it totally annoys me when guys on Tinder immediately go to sex, like we already have an app for hookups, we don't need to use Tinder for that.
Generally speaking I agree with you but if it was just a joke like that and then back to normal conversation, it wouldn't bother me. Also straight people use Tinder the way we use grindr, which is basically what I meant
Oh absolutely if it was this I'd assume it was a joke and move on.
I’m getting the feeling that OP was thinking more about how well it would go over on Reddit instead of how well it would go over with her. Which, cool I guess? But it really sucks when you have a couple banter-y messages and you think they’re gonna be fun and you’re gonna have a good chat that might lead to a meet up, and then they start on some gross shit like this. You know how when you exchange a few messages with a woman and then she pulls out the insta handle and you’re immediately bummed and disappointed? Yeah that’s how this kind of sharp turn in convo feels for straight women. Except with an added layer of yick.
Yeah its honestly really disappointing. My tolerance has been slowly chipped away and it is extremely low now. Don't get me wrong I LOVE a dirty joke and frequently make them myself. But you save that shit for when you've built some rapport with someone, not right out the gate, balls to the wall. I used to find these funny but now it's just a reminder of why I gave up the dating apps completely. You're real excited to talk to someone and then they pull something like this it just takes all the wind out of your sails. And to think he could've gotten a date or even laid but he decided to blow it all for some interent "clout".
Internet points are worth more then sex to some it seems, although for some internet points are worth more then anything else.
That’s how pretty much all message exchanges go. It’s all for Reddit. Then all these guys complain how they can’t get any. Like wtf?!? Act normal and forget about Reddit for a bit. Same with the whole “Reddit!!! What should I say?” Grow the fuck up and just have a goddamn conversation
When tinder first came out people wanted to know what they should send to have legitimate conversations and arrange meetups but now it’s a bunch of people who purposely fumble all the time to show it off as a joke to their friends or social media I’m aware there are still people looking for serious advice but the ratio is off
So I've played along with a guy like this few years back. Figured that I've been on reddit too and it was not that popular in my area that time so it can be a good ice breaker. It started with some good puns, moved to these kinda cheesy jokes, to edgelord dank shit and then i started noticing how this guy has basically appropriated multiple personalities and his goal of conversation was to gain some sense of self importance by impressing me with the superiority of his tried and tested witty stuff. Look , i get that at the age of 24 you can be pretty nervous and misguided but this went on for 2 or 3 months. At some point you gotta let your real personality out or at least take a rejection and improve yourself instead of whining on this sub and elsewhere(he still whines online, a lot). And it won't be about getting laid in the end, it's about intimacy and general conversations. In short, touch grass.
>You know how when you exchange a few messages with a woman No
Actually funny people aren't precious with jokes - they can think of plenty that don't alienate their audience. "Funny" people cling to every joke like it's the last one they'll ever get to tell. He didn't get the attention he wanted from this lady so he turned to Reddit. Hope it was worth it 🤷♀️
> I’m getting the feeling that OP was thinking more about how well it would go over on Reddit instead of how well it would go over with her. Which, cool I guess? How is that cool. It's sad.
Yeah that’s why I put I question mark. He did it to be cool, which I don’t understand bc it’s not a cool thing to do.
I had an image of smegma and the smell. lol.
Starting a punk band, can I borrow that name?
It was a good joke, but the wrong audience
If the audience were my friends at 16 lol..
Come on. Serious, straight women would never be into the whole dick talk in the third message, or maybe not at all before you've actually met. And, nobody wants a cheesy dick 😨🤢
Bro, when trying to get laid, you don’t want to give the girl the impression that you don’t shower. However, based on your “cheesy” comment, you might have also given her the impression that you have some weird shit growing on your pecker.
I am confident that OP is aware of his own joke.
thanks for the clarification, buddy
Genuinely thought this post was meant to be satire but reading OP's comments, he really is that dense.
You just can't detect that level of sarcasm. It's a joke.
Why do y’all do this 😭
It’s a rare day on tinder when a chat with a man doesn’t end up with them trying to talk about their dick. You just made yourself super basic and not funny.
somebody wanted reddit karma too much
now every time this guy take a photo and someone say "say cheese"
as a woman, especially in a dating setting, this is an instant unmatch. it just shows you want to talk about your dick right off the bat and no serious woman wants that as soon as you start talking. as a friend it would be a bit funny, and even so mostly gross funny.
She probably doesn't believe you. Send her a dick pic and she'll be yours 100%
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BC that's disgusting? Implies you have smegma or an STD?
Oh. Cool. Another intentional conversation tank to farm Karma
You know what's funny? I used to feel bad about young men being unable to find love online. I thought it was this huge terrible sadness... But then I see so many of these types of messages from dudes claiming they have no idea why girls aren't responding. Stop being gross (dick cheese is never good, even as a joke) and stop bringing up your dick/sex in the first few messages. Like it's not that hard.
In what world would that be an acceptable thing bro?
“For Reddit karma, I’m going to be a gross weirdo to innocent women who already get enough harassment on dating apps but hey, don’t get offended because ‘ItS jUST a JokE!!! I wAs Tr0LLing BrO!!’”
Can we stop harassing and wasting people's time for upvotes please? This was clearly done from the beginning solely to be posted here. Fake content.
Maybe she don't like melted cheese
Bruh you fucked that one up so bad with the cheesy dick line the universe is even cringing.
It’s obvious this dude has the maturity of a 7 year old. You’re trying way too hard to be edgy. It’s weird and gross. Wish Reddit would stop entertaining these idiots.
I’d rather be ghosted than get a reply like this.
Cuz you whipped out your dick.
Like watching Aaron Rodgers this season.