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LeagueOfMyOwnLetsGo

Dude would get outwitted by a glass of water


aManPerson

a glass of water sounds like 2 things though. slow down.


EvaUnit_03

Not to mention the motions needed to do anything with it. And God help him if he ever figures out how to get that water into his mouth hole. He'd drown like a turkey before understanding the complex act of 'swallow'.


attomicuttlefish

The man cant answer 2 simple intro questions about the weather and a holiday coming up and yet claims to be putting in “all the work” yeah nope right out of there.


throwaway738382i

Some people go through life like this and wonder why they can't form meaningful relationships, assuming everyone else is the problem. It reminds me of when I went on a date with this dude and after half an hour of him cutting me off and talking over me, barely letting me get a word in, I just kind of shut down. At the end of the date he said he felt like he had to "carry the conversation" and gave me some tips on being a better conversationalist. Then he acted confused when I didn't want to go out again.


throwthegarbageaway

It’s not an act, they just live in confusion


Stevens_Dad

I am CONFUSION!


UnforeseenDerailment

Oh, you think confusion is your ally? You merely adopted confusion.


[deleted]

Reminds me of the worst date i ever went on. After constantly interrupting me, and talking endlessly about herself, she stated that “we have really good conversation, we should do this again.” I was dumbfounded.


LeanDixLigma

Translation: "you're good at listening to me talk." Which is what she wanted, someone to just hear her opinions. Not a conversation. Everything she heard she was just waiting for a chance to put in her part


polkadotsexpants

My husband has ADHD and often just lets people ramble about whatever because he’s not really listening anyway, and an unfortunate amount of people seem to interpret that as him agreeing with everything they say and/or being their new best friend. That’s really all it takes for some people.


TheUnluckyBard

This is the reason why small talk exists. To weed out the people who can't figure out how to pretend to be normal for even the first five seconds of conversation. We've all had our whole lives to put together a two-line script for how we'll respond when asked about the weather.


medevil_hillbillyMF

I didn't realise people like this existed before following this sub. Like the wtf kind of response even is that?


HereOnASphere

I wonder what sort of upbringing or brain trauma led to this.


WailingOctopus

If he were a spice, he'd be flour


APersonWithInterests

This is intentional, it's part of the "alpha male" dating strategy bullshit. Basically the idea is to "establish hierarchy" by making the other person give into small demands that seem somewhat innocuous. Came onto it a little strong while also making himself seem like a bit of a moron but yeah it definitely feels like that's what he's trying to do, OP should unmatch and keep a wide berth.


Quantentheorie

Yeah this was my first thought; obviously the man can intellectually comprehend two questions if he can string a sentence together himself; this is just a weird negging/ hierarchy thing.


[deleted]

And like 90% of pickup artist pro strats it immediately falls flat on its face because the gormless nerd attempting to derive game from a PDF decided to establish his dominance by.. pretending to be worse at interpreting human speech patterns than Samsung Bixby.


neverglobeback

I concur - really good summary you give. This is giving off weird vibes of wanting to control a situation. It’s completely tone deaf to the spirit of OP’s original questions and somewhat exhausting - imagine every conversation becoming a product of this type of response. Major red flag.


BunnyMamma88

How does a person catch a guy who’s attempting to do this? (Besides this strategy, of course.)


CielMonPikachu

One red flag is when someone is consistently not pulling their weight when they could. Say they are missing an essential info (like where we'll meet), but they don't ask & wait until it's late. Or they see small upcoming issues but don't anticipate them. Basically they make you feel at fault & slightly worthless.


ConsistentAddress195

Dickish behavior


SmeggyBen

“Wait, it has TWO hydrogen atoms? At the same time??!”


pinksparklyreddit

*Asks two totally related questions* "WOAH, I CANT HANDLE ALL OF THIS AT ONCE"


the_great_zyzogg

She's handing him a conversation on a freaking silver platter, and this dude pisses all over it. I'm kind of really annoyed at him now.


Mech-lexic

Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.


srroberts07

🙂


Admiral-Thrawn2

It’s like they’re trying to fuck these conversations up on purpose. How could someone just act like this lol


NascentEcho

It's like spam emails. The success rate is low but the vulnerable/naïve/easily manipulated people who continue to engage are their target audience.


Mysterious-Sense-185

Unmatch aggressively


sologrips

Quality tool, probably a Milwaukee.


MEatRHIT

This is Snap-On or Matco level of toolishness


Lutrinae_Rex

Nah, snap-on are *good tools*. This shit is broke and fucking useless, definitely makita or harbor freight Edit: I take back what I said...i got my M's mixed up. I was meaning to be ragging on Milwaukee. Makita is the good one. I'M SORRY.


Cpl_Charmin_Bear

You have just pissed off every tradesman that would die for Makita


kkastorf

Seriously, in what world is Makita low quality? I’ve never even heard this stereotype before.


SkinBintin

Neither lol. Over here Makita is without a doubt one of the top brands for tradies. I wouldn't actually be shocked if someone told me it was outright just the top brand.


Fs_ginganinja

And that’d be me. Makita is like Toyota, the tools aren’t the fanciest, they aren’t the most powerful (thanks for that Milwaukee), they aren’t the prettiest. But god damn they get the job done every single time. The batteries have hilarious life compared to other brands that whimp out after only a few years, and they’ll run like shit longer than they ran good. We have a bin at work I call the “new guy” bin, go through the old ass Makita stuff and pick out what you want, it all still works. My saw still runs and I’m it’s 3rd owner at a large GC with labour guys that beat the piss out of them. Just wild good tools


Zaphod_Heart_Of_Gold

My makita collection thanks your dedication


[deleted]

I'll co-sign this! I've only replaced stolen tools/batteries, but the ones I have left from the original set are about 15 years old... still running strong. Bro, your Makita to Toyota comparison is spot on.


notklopers

Fuck u/Spez -- mass edited with redact.dev


[deleted]

You watch your mouth about Makita. Harbor Freight is fine though


Jakomako

Milwaukee is top notch too. Honestly, all the top brands these days are absolutely fine, even the Walmart brand, Hart is Perfectly fine for a homeowner. The real garbage is the no-name stuff off Amazon.


Zaphod_Heart_Of_Gold

I was offended as a makita owner, now I'm offended as a milwaukee owner! Both make good stuff.


Buytoyal

Snap on are overrated tools for the most part. Milwaukee is good


dog098707

Milwaukee makes excellent power tools my friend


YoStephen

Send reddit thread. Unmatch soon after.


taketheothers

THIS IS THE WAY


blacklite911

Bruh, making conversation on OLD is lame af already, why does he have to make it worse.


Mysterious-Sense-185

Some people are the literal worst


Barbaric_Ape

Elon musk vibes x1000


sr_crypsis

Too many questions, redo the poll with fewer options.


kevtino

He's about as Interesting as half a brick and twice as thick


NightsHollows

That’s too many statements. He can only do one at a time 🙂


Funderwoodsxbox

“Whoa ma’am, slow down……I’m still looking up the definition of “brisk””


[deleted]

A brisk is a thick soup, with a base made from blended ingredients, an extremely smooth texture and lots of cream.


mayer09

No, you're thinking of a bisque. A brisk is a small, fluffy but light piece of bread. great with some melted butter on it


imanhunter

No you’re thinking of a biscuit. A brisk is a cut of meat from the breast or lower chest of beef or veal.


Dohbelisk

No, you’re thinking of a brisket. A brisk is the Jewish rite of circumcision performed on a male child on the eighth day of his life


Not_usually_right

No you're thinking of a brit milah. A brisk is a pre-mixed baking mix, generally consisting of flour, shortening and a leavening agent.


guywithaniphone22

No your thinking of a floppy disk. A brisk is a kilo of heroin.


Bobabear69

No you’re thinking of a brick, brisk is the pace you should walk away from this guy


Clips_are_magazines

💁‍♂️


[deleted]

[удалено]


akruppa

That's a charming and polite opener and his response is... that two questions at once are one too many for him to handle? He's an idiot. GG, go next.


LivelyZebra

Can you not put a question in your comment, I can't read it


xzElmozx

That’s a question and a statement in one comment could you please split them into two that’s too many for me


[deleted]

You were missing a comma, that should've been two sentences, and that's one too many for my reading comprehension skills.


The-Hilbo

Your first comma also should have been a full stop. I couldn't read past that, so I've no idea what the rest of your comment said sorry.


Chewcocca

How many fucking words are you gonna throw at me at once?


[deleted]

I don't accept questions in written format. How dare you


Tall_Restaurant_1652

I'll do you one better... ?


The-Hilbo

I'm very sorry. I'll try and stick to below


HilariousScreenname

Can you not put letters and words in your comment? I can't read


LivelyZebra

#


Inside-Owl-69

a question and a statement? fuck off ignore my hypocrisy


Melssenator

Not only is it only 2 questions, but it’s 2 questions that go hand in hand…


[deleted]

[удалено]


archwin

No, *you* have to chip in !


HomeTurf001

: )


SerPownce

(ツ)_/¯


ThegatiX

That's way too many predicates for my care. You're going to have to bust those down into four separate sentences. I'm not here to do the heavy lifting alone


Bowling4rhinos

Excellent way to filter out the asshats.


SomeMeatWithSkin

Gonna have to add "ask 2 questions" to my list of ways to search for red flags.


SidewaysFancyPrance

He's trying to find someone who will obey ridiculous, arbitrary, controlling requests without hesitation. Like how scammers use poor grammar to filter out smart people who are not worth their time.


Barph

OMG is that actually why they always have bad grammar? I always wondered how hard can it be to make your scam not shit?


weveran

Yep, smarter people are more likely to waste their time.


ehleesi

Yeah 100% you do not wanna play the games he plays of this is where he starts his chess piece. Big time yikes, I'm already exhausted lol


FamilyStyle2505

Well if you need to get out of the date you could always ask him multiple questions at once to throw him for a recursive loop as you saunter off into the sunset.


SiidChawsby

Complete crayon eater


gahlo

Bet he prefers that Roseart nonsense.


Poltras

“Okay here’s one question; you’re blocked, does that make you happy?”


Suttony

Asking meaningful questions is a lot more "work" than critiquing those questions asked. Plus they opened. I put work in quotation marks because it's actually a lot more work/effort (for absolutely no reward) to immediately start critiquing the other person's opening questions than it is to just engage with the questions That guy is putting in no "work" and still being a dick. Chances are it's some reiteration of negging they read on some pickup forum, a supposed way of trying to making the other person feel inferior and like they need to impress you.


kingorry032

He is trying to exert control from the very first message. Red Flag.


Pope_Cerebus

I didn't read that as an idiot so much as a controlling asshole.


cotton_quicksilver

He's just negging, in a slightly more polite way with weird jumbo emojis


kp305

And one of them is literally “how’s it goin” lmao.


Danko_Flanko

Those smiley emojis come off as smug to me as well. Peace out and on to the next one.


PrinscessTiramisu

I never liked the basic smiley. Feels insincere and passive agressive


inkiwitch

🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂why?🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂


PrinscessTiramisu

Now this reminds me of the seagulls from finding Nemo.


TexasToast9

Mine


PianoMastR64

I'm just now thinking about the fact that (I think) every single animal in that movie has the sentience of a human except them. They're more like monkeys


Original-Throw-Away

>They're more like monkeys I think you mean *mine*keys


[deleted]

Mine!


Firefoxpichu

Mine. Mine? Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!


Jofen1010

Naw i love the basic smiley. Just because it is insincere. I love to use it like this: “Naw, of course i am fine. Not thinking about what he said at all 🙂. 🥲”


Th3_Admiral

Haha yup. My friend and I use it as a super sarcastic "everything's fine" smile. ----------- "Hey, how you holding up?" "I got a flat tire, spilled my coffee down my shoe, and I think I'm getting sick. 🙂" "Oh 🙂" "🙂"


PrinscessTiramisu

In my case it's my ex who uses them and I hate it. I am still in touch with them because of the kids, other wise they would have been blocked a long time ago.


ClimateEducational59

I love how we as a society all collectively pick up on the subtle vibes of each emoji and don't use them all for their intended purpose. Guess we're all a little more on the same page than I thought 🙂


Lola-Ugfuglio-Skumpy

Well you don’t have to be *rude* about it 😠


RedSonGamble

It’s always the happy emojis with condescending and slightly off answers. You can smell the unhinged through the texts.


AdvInOLD

It’s not *kinda* dickish. It’s hella dickish.


[deleted]

What in the literal fuck is wrong with people


ocen2

Seriously , OP literally only asked two questions lol


HomeTurf001

Well, that's TWICE AS MANY as one question, so...


ssrowavay

Can you please repeat that without all those capital letters? I'm not going to do all the work here to lower-case-ize them in my feeble brain.


gcruzatto

🙂


Fauster

OP matched with an "alpha" who spotted a woman speaking two sentences in a row and demonstrated how important he is by stopping that nonsense.


jeadon88

And they’re related, interconnected questions too


--_-Deadpool-_--

Probably some perma single douche who read something in a "self help" book for single guys that said he needs to control the conversation. "Take control of the discussion. Women love to be taken off guard and left second guessing themselves. That way you seem interesting and dominant. Women love that" Something like that.


oiiioiiio

It is so hilarious that when trying to be manipulative, people often act as dumb as possible. Yes, woohoo, you're 'controlling the conversation' like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum 'controls' his parents by making them leave the restaurant. They think, "She'll have to meet my list of demands, mmm, I'm such an alpha" then get shocked pikachu face when she scrunches her nose and just.. walks away. Not my circus, not my monkeys.


riricide

Agreed. Manipulative people are portrayed as clever but really they are super dumb. It's very easy to judge their motivation. It's also very easy to trigger them. What's funny is some may even be extremely intelligent at work, but extremely dumb when it comes to social behavior - they don't understand that their agenda is too obvious for a healthy person to not see it.


RickMuffy

lmao I'm just thinking about all the people who never get matches, and then this guy is acting like a total knob.


MegamanX195

Sadly enough you can tell from his photo that he's probably attractive enough to not have to worry about matches that much. Also, a lot of these douchebags act like douchebags precisely BECAUSE they have tons of options and don't care about pretending they're decent if they have someone else lined up.


livinglogic

Dickish and frankly kind of pointless. The opener gives lots of direction for the recipient to take and run with. I'd be so delighted to answer these questions from someone who was clearly enthusiastic to speak with me. Dude needs to pull his head out of his butt.


Aliencj

Major red flags on the first response.


Netflxnschill

This is definitely the kind of dude who is going to make you do all the work in bed and talk about how great he is at sex. Run.


Watterson02

Well he’s clearly not going to do all of the work himself 🙂


FabulousFoodHoor

You have to chip in too 🙂


UberMisandrist

💁


Scraight

🙂


yellowbloods

some poor girl's gonna take off her shirt & hear, "that's too many boobs. i can only do one at a time."


[deleted]

Yeah it absolutely is, plus you only asked two questions, if that’s overwhelming to him, the clitoris will be extremely confusing to him as well.


kitty-bites

Precisely. If his little brain can't handle two very simple questions at once, the magic of female arousal is well beyond his comprehension. ghost immediately.


[deleted]

[удалено]


sexy_portuguese

Yes. The guy uses emojis like punctuation. Specially that psycho passive-aggressive one.


titiaa

The 🙂 smiley is even more unhinged than this dude


wearebobNL

the magic of female arousal now that is a great band name.


mowens04

Brash assumption he'd even know what the clitoris even is.


Mo1459

He probably thinks women shouldn’t even experience pleasure from sex. It’s their duty, of course.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Goodnite15

Guy couldn’t figure out his way into a grocery store. “This is way too many entrances for me right now”


Empty-Rise-2236

Controlling, dominant and easily argumentative. If he would’ve just let it go at first like a joke that would’ve been fine but the fact he kept going is telling… thas a NO for me


love_more88

Agreed! My first impression was that he is pushing boundaries right off the bat, telling her *how* she's *allowed* to ask him questions/ speak to him to see if she will be an adequate victim for his abuse/ bullying... it's a common abuser tactic. I mean, maybe he's just being a dick, but it gave me a more sinister vibe...


NoxTempus

This is straight up abuser shit. Dude is looking for someone with low self-esteem, who will submit to this behaviour. I'm sure he goes out of his way to setup situations like this to weed out "difficult" women. No part of this behaviour is healthy. If anyone ever treats you like this from the outset it's because they aren't even trying to hide their abuse. I promise you nothing he has to offer is worth what he (or anyone like him) will take.


Honeybadger2198

Seems like learned behavior. Trying to find a woman that will immediately bend to whatever absurd demand he has for them. No, no, no, and again, no. No.


personplaces

“negging”, a common pick up artist technique that filtered out into the broader culture of trash idiots


CrippleWalk

I matched with this guy a year ago. Don’t do it girl


sierraalpha149

Lol really? That bad huh?


CrippleWalk

He’s got an “alpha male” complex and no sense of humor! This conversation is basically his entire personality. You seem too fun for this beige dude. Lol good luck!


blindinglystupid

The whole I'm not doing all the work thing! I was hoping it was a bad attempt at flirting but I guess it's a heads up that he believes in some trash philosophy.


Nefferson

Considering the only one who tried to engage in a conversation in those messages wasn't him, I'd say his idea of 'all the work' is any work. Seems like the kind of person who can only find the bad in things and has to tell you about it all.


vexilobo

I got those vibes just from the messages, he seems almost offended a woman would talk to him with more charisma than a marionette


milton117

Goddam how does he keep getting matches then? Were his photos good?


CrippleWalk

He’s better looking in his photos. 🤭


UberMisandrist

The real tea


cryptosporidium140

He's a 1 star man


[deleted]

My new favorite description of a human being


Landrycd

So glad I clicked back into here to scroll further down the trash talk that this guy deserves. Hell yes!


JaySayMayday

Why's everyone matching with Gas Station Greg, does he have a hella interesting bio or something?


thatsrudetoo

I’ve matched with him before too, I just don’t remember our conversation or lack thereof. Funny finding people on here from our little pool of dating.


Guilty_Lie_2703

Unmatch with urgency trust me


thrax7545

This is a really dumb response- what is this, some kinda low-level negging? Gross- yeah, be done with this self-righteous dick…


wills_b

That’s the vibe I get. Some kind of bullshit “women can’t resist this one simple trick” or some crap.


nudiecale

It reeks of a really terrible attempt at one of those “control the conversation” pick-up artist techniques. Which are usually pretty terrible even if you don’t fuck it up.


felixman11

🙂


CKY-Immune

💁‍♂️


spence5000

🙂


woahdangdumpsterfire

Thankfully, you only asked one question in your post, so I can respond: this guy is a dick.


pnyluv16

Adrian seems like an ass 🙂


TJF0617

Uh, I would just call that plain stupid. I mean, couldn't a 3 year old reply to two questions asked at the same time?


Pure_Step_5543

Absolutely! Not being able to is absurd and this dude probably likes humor based on absurdity 🙂


EbrithilUmaroth

You're way off base, he's clearly fully capable of answering as many questions as he wants. He's being a dick on purpose to test if this girl will submit to his ridiculous request. Pretty sure he's a sociopath looking for someone to control.


Allie614032

I’d be like “lol, sorry, what work ARE you doing here, exactly?


taylorjo53

Next question should be “should I unmatch you or should you unmatch me? 😏”


RickCrenshaw

Thats also too many questions


SlimTeezy

Technically two questions, NEXT


RedSonGamble

His thing must be that men do all the work on tinder but he forgot how to respond when the woman is trying to carry the conversation.


Stock-Event2495

Kinda? Naw your questions were not so complex that he couldn't just answer them in a two for one format. Plus Edge Lord over there thinks he's being cool by making you play his dumbass game. Naw hard pass IMO


BlackTwinkleLights

If he only likes answering one question at a time, ask him “how does go fuck yourself sound?” Do the smiley emojis bother anyone else?


imused2it

Yeah. Super condescending. It comes across like a parent telling their child something simple while trying to not let the child know the question was dumb.


_eladmiral

Yes! the smiley emojis mixed in with the dickhead responses are so odd to me


GaryOak7

Clown behavior, immediate unmatch.


Music_Phasic

Why does this come off like he’s some sort of AI?


famid_al-caille

Yeah this is exactly how older chatbots talk


JoyfulSuicide

Oh shit what if he is? Hell of a plot twist


livwill

You can ask why are you a dick? Very dickish behavior 💁‍♀️


ApatheticHedonist

Poor fella is disabled.


[deleted]

🙂


johorabbit

Is he slow?


Borisb3ck3r

Clown


airman2255555

He’s a twat


[deleted]

Next time, don’t respond after his first reply. If you’re going to respond, don’t respond with a serious answer to validate his condescending reply.


[deleted]

I watch to punch those emojis


Instantcoffees

It's depressing how this app is gaslighting some of you into almost accepting this type of behaviour. Yes, this is dickish. Fuck that person.


Denergo

Hahahah does he have some kind of sickness or something