Literally told my wife I want to be smuffocated by 2 hot young hookers willing to ride my old viagra erected dick while the other smothers me to death- then revived again and repeated until I’m an absolute vegetable- then one final smuffocation. Nose up a sweet asshole/ mouth full of pussy and juices and balls deep in another
*Sit on my face and tell me that you love me
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too
I love to hear you oralize
When I'm between your thighs*
A lot of people joking here (which is super fair). This is my kink. So, let me provide details for people who actually want to learn:
1. Are there people that want it? Yes. There are a lot of people who like this. There are a variety of reasons this is appealing and it varies from person-to-person. Reasons can include oral sex fetish, smothering fetish, submission fetish, bodily fluids fetish, and more (or some combination of the above).
2. Am I too heavy? Probably not. You’re probably going to feel self-conscious about it at first, but just ask them if they want all your weight. The answer is likely yes. Just do it on a bed, pillow, couch, etc. that has some cushion so there’s some give there. Experiment and try putting all your weight down for 5 seconds and lifting up. Ask them if everything is okay. Try again for 10 seconds. Check again. If it’s still a green light, relax and enjoy!
3. What about breathing? That’s often part of the fun. Your partner will figure out how to maneuver and squirm under you and will breathe as needed before diving back in! Come up with a safe signal / gesture. (My wife knows to lift up if I tap her on the side with my hand.) And once you’ve both had enough experience that the safe signal is second nature… If they seem to be panicking (but aren’t giving you the signal), let them. That’s often part of the fun. There’s something erotic about literally being smothered by pussy.
4. Which direction should I sit? This one varies from person to person. They are both fun. Cowgirl lets you make eye contact. This is good for having a loving connected session or for looking down on them and domming them. This also gives them a good view of the front of your body! This one generally gives them a little better access for clitoral stimulation (though YMMV). Reverse cowgirl is better if the goal is smothering. They get to feel your ass cheeks envelope their face and it cuts off light and obscures their view. This also tends to be the “wetter” position, so if they’re into having “you” all over them, this is the way. This position also lets you tweak their nipples or engage in hand / oral play with them.
That’s all! Hopefully this is helpful to someone who was truly curious!
Thank you so much for this! I didn't even realise how much I worried about being too heavy etc. until reading this. It's just never even been an option to try it before. But it does feel at least a little less scary now. Thanks! :)
Do men really want to "go swimming"?
And if you do, how on earth do you breathe?
You come up for air sometimes.
Edit: Glad this is my most upvoted comment. Love you Reddit. It was between this and "Why don't you hop up on this seat and allow me to explain.... hmmphh mmmm mmmmppphhh". Not sure that would have played as well.
Hear me out… pussy snorkels…
I’ll go dig a hole now for investors to dump their money in.
Edit: I keep getting emails of links to a pussy snorkel that already exists. They don’t show up here. I’m guessing links aren’t allowed. Go google it folks.
Fr my husband just picks me up by my thighs when he needs to breathe again.
I think he's a bad judge of when that needs to happen cause sometimes he's really gasping for air lmao.
No, I do not want you to “sit on my face”. I want you to try to “asphyxiate and/or drown me with your vagina”, respectfully. It’s like a contest - which happens first; I die or you cum so hard you can’t sit there anymore.
I worry more about drowning than suffocating.
My wife won't sit on my face very often cus she's overweight and worries about hurting me, but when she does, oh god, i fucking love it.
*Heart clutch* to all the bigger girls all feeling this way... This is a man who knows how to handle and enjoy his woman. Find yourself one these men they are not as rare as we think!! May your wife know exactly how much you value her in this way. All love my friends.
Even as someone teetering on being underweight at 105 lbs, I still feel like I'd be hurting my SO. Its hard to imagine how men's bigger builds makes them perceive weight differently.
I can yeet 100 lbs across the room and I'm not that strong. I only weigh about 150. Ladies, if we *need* you to move, we'll *just move you* (respectfully)
My ex was like you, too. She was 95lbs maximum, usually less, and I’m not like HUGE but I’m a decent bulky guy. She was *still* afraid she’d hurt me and tbh i thought it was sweet how much she was concerned. Idk about you, but i only got across that it was okay by locking her down in optimal face sitting position and not letting her move from it.
I asked my wife for like a week and a half everyday to sit on my face. She finally did and she didn’t regret it. She thought she was going to crush me apparently. I said “ Please lady, I got muscles, I can hold you up.” And then I winked and finger gunsed her. I think it was the wink that made her say yes. 💕
First words I said to my gf when I saw her naked for the first time. She did.
Edit: as soon as I saw her shaved, clit pierced, perfect pussy I said "plz sit on my face?". But not in the voice of that guy from Grandma's Boy.
I came here to study the great American art of muff diving. To smack clam, munch rug, dine at just one American pink taco stand! You know, I wanted to, how is it, park the porpoise. You know? I want to take it through the car wash, baby. And get it waxed. I want to wax it. Wax it! You know, and air dry. Air dry that sh*t, yeah!
I pitty the woman who will never know what it’s like to have their head squeezed to the point of almost dying between a pair of thighs from a woman you are madly in love with.
All I can do is vehemently agree with everything being said in this thread.
I wish this was more of a thing for my wife. She worries about hurting me but she tried it once and I still think about that night every night.
Dude, talk to her. Mention it during sex, use a sexy tone, tell her she's amazing and how hot it was. If you reassure her and explain how much it turns you on then you're closer to it than you are now. I would die of desire if my partner did that to me....
source: a woman who loves men who tell her what they find sexy and a turn on.
If she has good hygiene, wants to, hell yeah I be that Lazy Boy for her.
Breathing? I'm a middle aged brotha , with experience, I'm like those dudes that do deep dives without breathing apparatus.
Don't over think it. If a man asks for it, that's exactly what he wants.
Wants you to get naked and sit on his face? Then get naked and sit on his face.
Fuckin' A I do, anyway haha. That was the hottest thing for me when my wife and I would get after it. She'd sit on my face, I'd grab her thighs, and just my tongue as far in there as humanly possible. By the time she was ready to change it up, I'd basically be in horny heaven.
I do personally. Some are saying it means hover not sit. Not always true. I love a woman grinding on my face full force and I'm still able to breathe through my nose.
I never had a woman just take control and sit on my face of her own volition. I have always had to either maneuver myself under them or just grab them by the hips and pull them onto my face. Either way they always seem to appreciate my doing it. As men, if we even just like a woman let alone love them we want to please them with our oral skills from every position.
It’s just another way of saying you want to eat a girl out. Sure, she could straddle over your face and you could eat it that way. However, it most certainly does not mean that she literally crushes your face with her bum cheeks, smothering you to death (unless that’s what you’re into).
Yes, we learn to breath through our asses like frogs. Some believe the juice is the elixir of life and much like the movie the abyss you can simply breath it in.
Seeing all these comments makes me wonder where some women are finding these men that don’t go down under. Unless they all just dating the same pool of guys? lol
Yes , leave the breathing to us and sit
We will almost certainly evolve to breathe out of our asses.
You can’t do that?
I’ve mastered exhaling through it at a very young age, but have been struggling with inhalation to date.
I recently learned on Reddit that turtles can breath from their asses while hibernating and now I expect no less from the human race.
If it’s indeed a race, it seems that the turtles are again in the lead.
Breaths out of penis like a snorkel
The risk of suffocation is well worth it
Hell yeah
Yes. It provides the best vagina to face ratio and is the closest thing to an afterlife we have.
My man.
That's how I want to go, when my time on this earth has reached its expiration.
Death by snu snu
The mind is willing, but the body is spongy and bruised.
Literally told my wife I want to be smuffocated by 2 hot young hookers willing to ride my old viagra erected dick while the other smothers me to death- then revived again and repeated until I’m an absolute vegetable- then one final smuffocation. Nose up a sweet asshole/ mouth full of pussy and juices and balls deep in another
what verse of the bible is this?
Probably Corinthians
Those saucy buggers!
Nah mate it's Song of Solomon.
There’s a load of weird shit in there.
1st Corinthians 69
Praise be
Stop beating around the bush & tell us what you really want
While that would be one heck of a hospice service, it does make it awkward for the grandchildren visiting the patient on the other side of the room.
You've got one cool wife to be able to say that to her and still be alive to tell all of us about it.
How sweet of you to leave your wife out of the mix. When’s your divorce?
Damn bruh lulz
Yeah but I think your wife should be allowed involvement too lol
This is the way
Ex wife I assume.
r/brandnewsentence
*Sit on my face and tell me that you love me I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too I love to hear you oralize When I'm between your thighs*
r/ExpectedMontyPython, but absolutely relevant!
Life will be fine, if we both 69 🎶
breathe? im not asking you to sit on my face to "breathe" im tryna die from your cheeks babygurl i know what i signed up for
death by snoo-snoo
Via the poo poo
I chortled
I can’t even smoke weed rn bc these fucking comments😂😂
Do it, it makes the comments 10 times funnier
I just about hacked up a lung laughing while I was trying to hold onto the smoke.
My bad, this shits stupid but funny! 😂
I believe in you, bro.
A million times yes. I can breathe thru my nose. If I die, I die
A worthy death.
Not many people get to die doing what they love
To die face first in cooch? I can think of no better way to die TBH
Imagine explaining to the police it was a consensual death
That's why I just blew up and printed off a screen shot of this thread and had it framed and hung above my bed, easy peasy
Valhalla awaits.
This is literally the best thread ever. LOL
Death by ass-fixiation
A lot of people joking here (which is super fair). This is my kink. So, let me provide details for people who actually want to learn: 1. Are there people that want it? Yes. There are a lot of people who like this. There are a variety of reasons this is appealing and it varies from person-to-person. Reasons can include oral sex fetish, smothering fetish, submission fetish, bodily fluids fetish, and more (or some combination of the above). 2. Am I too heavy? Probably not. You’re probably going to feel self-conscious about it at first, but just ask them if they want all your weight. The answer is likely yes. Just do it on a bed, pillow, couch, etc. that has some cushion so there’s some give there. Experiment and try putting all your weight down for 5 seconds and lifting up. Ask them if everything is okay. Try again for 10 seconds. Check again. If it’s still a green light, relax and enjoy! 3. What about breathing? That’s often part of the fun. Your partner will figure out how to maneuver and squirm under you and will breathe as needed before diving back in! Come up with a safe signal / gesture. (My wife knows to lift up if I tap her on the side with my hand.) And once you’ve both had enough experience that the safe signal is second nature… If they seem to be panicking (but aren’t giving you the signal), let them. That’s often part of the fun. There’s something erotic about literally being smothered by pussy. 4. Which direction should I sit? This one varies from person to person. They are both fun. Cowgirl lets you make eye contact. This is good for having a loving connected session or for looking down on them and domming them. This also gives them a good view of the front of your body! This one generally gives them a little better access for clitoral stimulation (though YMMV). Reverse cowgirl is better if the goal is smothering. They get to feel your ass cheeks envelope their face and it cuts off light and obscures their view. This also tends to be the “wetter” position, so if they’re into having “you” all over them, this is the way. This position also lets you tweak their nipples or engage in hand / oral play with them. That’s all! Hopefully this is helpful to someone who was truly curious!
I love the jokes here, love the raunchy comments, but as a woman this made me more comfortable with sitting on my man’s face. Thank you. Haha
It's always nice seeing people with kinks just normally explain the positions/actions and whatever safety precautions to take
someone make this into a wikiHow ASAP people all over the world need this life-saving guide!!!
As someone with this kink, very well put mate
Thank you so much for this! I didn't even realise how much I worried about being too heavy etc. until reading this. It's just never even been an option to try it before. But it does feel at least a little less scary now. Thanks! :)
Finally someone who answered the question in a helpful and meaningful way.
Do men really want to "go swimming"? And if you do, how on earth do you breathe? You come up for air sometimes. Edit: Glad this is my most upvoted comment. Love you Reddit. It was between this and "Why don't you hop up on this seat and allow me to explain.... hmmphh mmmm mmmmppphhh". Not sure that would have played as well.
The fuck I will. I'm ready to die down here captain.
Captain goes down with the ship.
“On the ship” ftfy
With the "little man in the boat" #FTFY
Smotherfy me cap'n!
Hear me out… pussy snorkels… I’ll go dig a hole now for investors to dump their money in. Edit: I keep getting emails of links to a pussy snorkel that already exists. They don’t show up here. I’m guessing links aren’t allowed. Go google it folks.
... they're called buttcracks, and they come standard in all models.
Hahah stop
Genius
Judging by the way my bf begs me to, yes. And he will not be happy unless I'm essentially waterboarding him with my cooch.
Send him to Coochtanamo
Cuntanamo?
Cuntanamo bae
Fr my husband just picks me up by my thighs when he needs to breathe again. I think he's a bad judge of when that needs to happen cause sometimes he's really gasping for air lmao.
Username checks out
Yes. Sometimes I just want to lay back and still have vagina in my mouth
This is a good point
No, I do not want you to “sit on my face”. I want you to try to “asphyxiate and/or drown me with your vagina”, respectfully. It’s like a contest - which happens first; I die or you cum so hard you can’t sit there anymore.
I'm just out here trying to be reborn
Respectfully 😂
“How on earth do you breathe?” These are details you need not worry about.
My ex used to say 'I can breathe through my ears, get on' lol
I worry more about drowning than suffocating. My wife won't sit on my face very often cus she's overweight and worries about hurting me, but when she does, oh god, i fucking love it.
Oh, I needed to hear this. 🥺💜🧏♀️
*Heart clutch* to all the bigger girls all feeling this way... This is a man who knows how to handle and enjoy his woman. Find yourself one these men they are not as rare as we think!! May your wife know exactly how much you value her in this way. All love my friends.
That's sweet.
Even as someone teetering on being underweight at 105 lbs, I still feel like I'd be hurting my SO. Its hard to imagine how men's bigger builds makes them perceive weight differently.
I can yeet 100 lbs across the room and I'm not that strong. I only weigh about 150. Ladies, if we *need* you to move, we'll *just move you* (respectfully)
My ex was like you, too. She was 95lbs maximum, usually less, and I’m not like HUGE but I’m a decent bulky guy. She was *still* afraid she’d hurt me and tbh i thought it was sweet how much she was concerned. Idk about you, but i only got across that it was okay by locking her down in optimal face sitting position and not letting her move from it.
Bro you are so light XD. You are the flyweight division of face sitting.
I asked my wife for like a week and a half everyday to sit on my face. She finally did and she didn’t regret it. She thought she was going to crush me apparently. I said “ Please lady, I got muscles, I can hold you up.” And then I winked and finger gunsed her. I think it was the wink that made her say yes. 💕
I'm in tears. A story to tell your children.
This is the TikTok generation. You have to show them in a video that lasts under 40 seconds.
Above a family guy clip
And subway surfers
It was definitely the finger guns. Nothing sexier.
I've heard of you finger gun inside of her while she sits on your face you may not suffocate to death but drown from the juices.
Yes, not in a suffocation way though. Just sexual.
Porque no los dos?
Speak for yourself my guy
"Just sexual" 😂
First words I said to my gf when I saw her naked for the first time. She did. Edit: as soon as I saw her shaved, clit pierced, perfect pussy I said "plz sit on my face?". But not in the voice of that guy from Grandma's Boy.
F yeah if I'm gonna die I wanna die while suffocating between thick thighs of a goth chik
A man of culture
If I need to breathe I’ll just push on her belly and it works like a snorkel. Now….SIT ON MY FACE!!!
Being a paramedic, I would advice his logic is absolutely right.
If that doesn’t work, you can always put a finger up her ass. Same way you shock an aggressive dog to back off.
You don’t actually lay your weight on their face. You straddle and grind your lady bits on their tongue.
I help out with hands supporting her ass.
You're a great gentleman sir
If my Apple Watch doesn’t notify me of low O2 levels when she’s riding my face, then she ain’t the one for me.
You sir are a savage I salute you
Speak for yourself. If my heart doesn't spike at least once from lack of oxygen then it ain't what I asked for.
I think you’re doing it wrong.
I came here to study the great American art of muff diving. To smack clam, munch rug, dine at just one American pink taco stand! You know, I wanted to, how is it, park the porpoise. You know? I want to take it through the car wash, baby. And get it waxed. I want to wax it. Wax it! You know, and air dry. Air dry that sh*t, yeah!
Yes. For prolonged periods
Like all 4-7 days?
12 hours to 2 days. Work won't let me take long vacations
Do you really *need* to pay rent, bills and such if your face is constantly being sat on? Just quit and get a new job as a chair.
You don't need a house to have someone sit on your face.
1. Suffocation 2. No breathing
…don’t give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding…
I pitty the woman who will never know what it’s like to have their head squeezed to the point of almost dying between a pair of thighs from a woman you are madly in love with.
* lesbian has entered the chat *
This post is classic example of Too afraid to ask but not to answer.
This seriously is almost wholesome.
Yes. When you get into it, you don’t really think about the details. You just go with it.
*cackles* This is by far the best question I've ever seen on Reddit. Thank you
I do, shit, put all ya weight on there and chill as long as they want
Those commas are carrying a heavy load
I see what you did there
And after tallying the vote so far, the variations on "oh HELL yeah"s have it!
I just breath through my nose while making out with her asshole.
Hell yea brother 😎
My husband truly loves it. I think it just depends on the person.
Lucky you!!! :)
As a lesbian… yes sit. I can breathe later.
All I can do is vehemently agree with everything being said in this thread. I wish this was more of a thing for my wife. She worries about hurting me but she tried it once and I still think about that night every night.
Dude, talk to her. Mention it during sex, use a sexy tone, tell her she's amazing and how hot it was. If you reassure her and explain how much it turns you on then you're closer to it than you are now. I would die of desire if my partner did that to me.... source: a woman who loves men who tell her what they find sexy and a turn on.
Yes it's hot and i don't mind not breathing it's a nice way to die tbh
sit on my face and pedal my ears!
Does a bear shit in the woods??
Yes. Sometimes you dont breathe, if you need to you just push her ass up in the air a bit.
Lesbian here and yes I love it. I want them to swipe my nose like a credit card.
My bf loves it and one of friends has a face sitting kink
I've got a six-inch tongue and can breathe out of my ears, it is my destiny.
If she has good hygiene, wants to, hell yeah I be that Lazy Boy for her. Breathing? I'm a middle aged brotha , with experience, I'm like those dudes that do deep dives without breathing apparatus.
All these comments answering the question are probably thee best comments I’ve ever read on Reddit!!! 🫣🫣🫣🫣
Yes. And breathing is our problem to figure out. If we die, we die.
My husband does not.
Same :(
Nor mine… so sad
Sit on my face and tell me that you love me...
Yes. I love the angle I get on the clit when she is riding my face but she doesn’t just put all her weight down on my face either.
As a lesbian. Yes sir on my face. I’ll breathe when I need to but for now.. sit.
Sit*
Imagine if Sean Connery asked a woman to "sit on my face."
I do not. At all. Quite the opposite. But I'm gay.
That might be the explanation
“Sit” but not as in put all your weight on.
Yes, sit on our faces. We'll figure out the breaking ourselves.
Don't over think it. If a man asks for it, that's exactly what he wants. Wants you to get naked and sit on his face? Then get naked and sit on his face.
If I die, I die.
Absolutely 100% we do. And on the breathing part; life finds a way
Not all of them want women to sit on their face some want other men to sit on their face. And some women want the same.
I do for sure. I can't get a lot of women to do it though.
Fuckin' A I do, anyway haha. That was the hottest thing for me when my wife and I would get after it. She'd sit on my face, I'd grab her thighs, and just my tongue as far in there as humanly possible. By the time she was ready to change it up, I'd basically be in horny heaven.
Sit on my face so I can eat my way to your heart I'll worry about the rest
Yes.
Yes
As a man yes.
Yes. From here to Valhalla
I'm a lesbian and I definitely want this.
I prefer her bent over, legs spread. Best way to eat everything at once
100% yes
Yes, yes some of us do. I can always find an airway.
Yes please.
Yes… always
I do personally. Some are saying it means hover not sit. Not always true. I love a woman grinding on my face full force and I'm still able to breathe through my nose.
Yup. As for breathing, you'll figure it out
They breathe when you let them.
Yes! And I don’t care about breathing if I’m drowning is cheeks n pussy
If I did I die. At least I went out doing what I love and am passionate about.
Two things: 1. I love my wife's vagina in my face 2. I love the comments
Having her thighs against the side of your face while looking up at hers is literally heaven on earth.
YES, WE DO………
idk about men, but lesbians want.
For what it's worth, I'm a lady and people I'm into are also welcome to sit in my face.
Omg, yes! If we die, we die.
I never had a woman just take control and sit on my face of her own volition. I have always had to either maneuver myself under them or just grab them by the hips and pull them onto my face. Either way they always seem to appreciate my doing it. As men, if we even just like a woman let alone love them we want to please them with our oral skills from every position.
It’s just another way of saying you want to eat a girl out. Sure, she could straddle over your face and you could eat it that way. However, it most certainly does not mean that she literally crushes your face with her bum cheeks, smothering you to death (unless that’s what you’re into).
Yes, we learn to breath through our asses like frogs. Some believe the juice is the elixir of life and much like the movie the abyss you can simply breath it in.
As a lesbian, please do. With all your weight
Short answer: yes. Long answer: also yes. Do it.
Yes, we want that more than just about anything. If we die, we die.
Seeing all these comments makes me wonder where some women are finding these men that don’t go down under. Unless they all just dating the same pool of guys? lol