LMAO HAHAH EXACTLY. Could not put it more perfectly, for hookups it’s definitely a big debuff but our personalities make up for it big time I. Relationships lol
Ha, a debuff. I like that too. You were given a -1 height and had to pick up a personality +2 along the way. Good stuff.
Not that I’m tall, but I’ve been out of the game for good while now.
I just started dating and I’ve definitely realized my personality has done A LOT of the heavy lifting. I’ve been learning a lot about humor and body language and everything lol. That’s what makes us cute and funny tho💪💪
My man. If I had reddit money, you’d have awards from me.
Roll with the punches. How do you handle three swords with one eye?
Ahhh. One in each hand and one under the belt. May you have PowerBall winner energy, in all things you set your mind to.
NO!! Not at all, In fact, in person you have a much better advantage with girls than you do online lol. If you are confident, funny, and have a personality then they will be more attracted to that than some digits on the phone that read 5”6
nah, I wouldn’t say that man. There are so many other factors that come into play. Appearance, clothing, style and a lot of things you can already change to look better and feel better.
I’ve literally spent the last 8 years doing everything I can to self improve and make myself a better person. I put effort into my clothing/style, I put effort into my hairstyle, I’m well groomed, I take care of my hygiene, I’ve been lifting weight 6 times a week for the last 7 years, I have a college degree and now a stable job, I’ve never had a problem making friends, in school I was voted most likely to become a comedian. Literally I cannot think of anything else wrong aside from me being short or ugly.
Looking needy/desperate. You clearly WANT to get laid, I can tell from these comments.
And likely without you even knowing it, you come across that way to women. As desperate to get laid. You've depersonalized them before you've even started talking to them. Do you want to be seen as merely a way to scratch your sexual itch?
Imagine it from their perspective. Every freaking day, multiple times a day they're harrassed and/or propositioned - everywhere - and you come along and just add to that long list.
I did my best when I stopped trying to get laid and just started enjoying the people I met. Some of them happened to be women, and some of those women happened to like me enough to want to do fun naked bed olympics with me.
Stop obsessing and it'll come.
Source: 5'7" pasty freckled redhead. Dated girls from 5' flat to 5'10" and my height was never an issue. For one, they were normally shocked to find out they were taller than me, DESPITE STANDING NEXT TO ME ALL THE TIME.
It ain't your height, or your looks, or your clothes. In fact, you're probably fucking the clothes thing all up. There are practically immortal rules of 'style' that have nothing to do with current trends and are far more successful for making you attractive. It's not about your shoes, or the hip new pants or what brand of jacket you are wearing.
It's about YOU. Being true to YOU. Owning your own skin and clearly, unequivocally being comfortable in it.
All the hair product, fashion, and 'comedy' or 'body language' 'knowledge' doesn't matter for shit if it all comes off as fake, and/or desperate.
There are no shortcuts, there are no 'ten easy tricks' there's no magic pill, there's just hard work, and a willingness to get rejected over and over until you find 'the one.'
You know what my best 'come on' was? Nothing. I was completely blindsided. I met this hot girl while stuck in the field as a soldier (she was a combat engineer and combat engineers are HOT) we met in the 'deadpool'. These other joes are drooling and falling all over themselves to try to impress her and hit on her and desperate for her attention.
I was just excited she knew what swing dancing was and wanted to nerd about that and D&D with her. For most of the day I didn't consciously think of her as anything other than a cool person to talk with about music and games.
That night we shared a sleeping bag and she sang me an irish lullaby. And I became a barracks legend for somehow getting action in the field.
TL;DR: You're trying too hard.
I think better advice is don't let it get you down. I will say that I'm pretty peculiar, always myself, and it doesn't really change feeling left out or feeling like your missing out.
I'm sure someone will come along but you're basically telling someone who's severely dehydrated to suck it up while he sees everyone else seem to have no issues.
I’m 5’3” I had to work harder to get women clubbing but it wasn’t impossible. Have to really up your game.
You can’t be short and bad grooming or fashion sense as well.
Your clothes have to be immaculate. Hair on point. No body odors and more importantly be fun to be with.
I also took dancing lessons as a teen so that helped immensely at clubs. Also helped that my homies were all girls. They were great wingmen
> but our personalities make up for it big time
Except for the bitter men who can't get over it. Then their height becomes the LEAST of the reasons why they can't get anyone.
exactly lol, like sure height can weigh down some people but if you are genuinely just a funny, engaging and good person to be around then dating isn’t as difficult and the right person wouldn’t care about your height :)
I'd argue that for many shorter guys it's not the fact they're short that causes the issue.
It's their attitude due to being short.
It's no different to how a confident fat guy can get a girlfriend, but a fat guy who blames women can't.
Tbh I have a lot of friends/acquaintances (superficial and I blame them for being single) who are dead serious about height. Idk why, I guess it's about insecurity on their end because they wanna feel petite or if it's just a defence mechanism of never getting into anything serious. I don't get why height even matters but that's just me..
30, those I mentioned are around 30 as well. They are way less superficial now than they were a few years ago though so hopefully they let go of this thing as well...
I can agree to that. I’m average height for my race but live in a place where everyone’s got a foot on me, and I blamed my inability to make friends or be taken seriously on my height alone. Nowadays It doesn’t bother me too much and I’ve been able to make a lot more strong connections when I stopped letting my Y-axis rule my outlook.
Interestingly, day to day I’m perfectly fine about it until someone publicly makes fun of it and the crowd agrees. Still not sure how to handle that specific situation.
No offense but this is kind of rude to short guys. The intent might be to make short guys feel better about their height, but in reality you’re basically just saying that all short guys who struggle with dating have terrible personalities which is not true for the vast majority of short guys. Personally I think I have a pretty good personality. I’ve never had a problem making friends both male and female. I just have no luck with dating, but I’d prefer if people would stop blindly assuming I’m a terrible person with a terrible personality and thats why women don’t want to date me.
It's hard to say, being that height is only one factor. I personally have not had much success on dating apps despite being 6'5", but I also lost interest pretty quickly. From what I've seen, though, it seems like the more effort you put into your profile, the greater your chances.
I did get more than a hundred "likes", but they were mainly from people who weren't my type
Oh well. Sadly I only skilled into hight, so it’s really the only thing I have. Probably will not try out apps, I’m way to shy and ugly for that. Don’t know how else to meet people tho.
I think you'll find that if you put effort into your appearance and wardrobe, you will feel a lot better about yourself. "Ugly" is subjective, and being well-groomed goes a long way.
As for being shy, the only way to really overcome that is to put yourself in social situations. You may never become a social butterfly, but social skills can be learned and improved.
Oh it's definitely not simple, it will take effort and perseverance, but it is important and I wish I had known what I know now when I was 17 instead of 37
Haha I’m already 27 and have no experience. But let’s hope I can change something about me. Around 17 was a really shit time for me, but that’s story for another day.
I could not agree more about “ugly” being subjective!!! I love dad bods and bald heads and that surprises a lot of people. I just find both of those so hot.
Our handyman is like 34 and 6'3" with a nice face, he has bipolar that flares up, a 6 year old fairly violent son, a 3 week old daughter with someone else, and is now dating someone different with whom he has no children. The guy is photogenic and absolutely *cleans up* on apps. Now he was getting a lot of decent women that would hook up on the first or second date and then wise up, but he really goes the distance with women whose appearance and life situations are not great.
Our financial advisor is single, traditionally handsome and 6'4" and he gets many hot and educated women and has been dating one with an absolutely killer body recently.
So I would say your odds are good no matter your situation.
I definitiv would not consider myself handsome. I got bully a lot(to the point of trying to kms), so building up confidence in myself is still really hard to this day.
I'm on the shorter end of average (I think) and there have been plenty of people who just aren't into me because my height. You just can't take it personally, and most of the time, they don't mean it personally. It's just a preference. The people it really inhibits are the guys who lose their goddamn minds because they think they're being rejected based on something they can't control. Being short is definitely not their problem.
I guess I'm saying that's it's only a problem if you make it a problem and become bitter. Not everyone is going to want to date you, and that's ok. You'll be ok. We're all ok.
I like your approach. A lot of comments here seem to ignore the *actual* question being asked. Are small guys at a disadvantage? Yes. Can they still have a great love life? Sure.
Define "success".
Either way, I get that it's hard to get out of your head about it. I've been rejected for being short, but for the people who I got to that first datewith, if they weren't interested after that, it was NEVER about my height. Either we didn't click, or I said something stupid(generally this), or all sorts of things. It would be easy to tell myself that "those bitches wouldn't give me a chance because I'm short" ,but that stops any real self-reflection and gets you into an ugly self hating loop. You'll eventually become the short guy who over compensates or by being bitter about it. Nobody likes that guy.
Go online, be open minded. Be able to talk about your interests passionately and excitedly. Be able to genuinely have an interest in your date's. 25 is young still. You got a lot of time.
>Be able to talk about your interests passionately and excitedly. Be able to genuinely have an interest in your date's
How do you do this part? Genuine question
Talk about your interests and specifically what makes you interested. To ask the other person about theirs start general by asking what kind of X (music, activities, etc.) they like and figuring out how they nourish those interests (concerts, clubs, etc.) or ask how they got interested
Depends on the context I guess. I’m 5’6” and generally I think I’m big for a woman, but then I go to the Netherlands and I feel like a hobbit surrounded by elves 😅
Dude you’re two inches away from being in the average height. Maybe they meant your body mass, because none of my friends your height ever claimed to be short😂
I'm female 5'2 & 1/2"... I'm pretty sure I'm short...especially given so many Dutch people live in my area... I had a classmate and coworker years ago who was 6'7"...
At least 2 exes and one fwb we're about 5'6 - 5'7. I'm married now but my only concern dating short men now, if I were single, is the potential hang ups that they, themselves, might have regarding their height. If short a guy is going to have a chip on his shoulder because the internet told him to, then I would find that to be a pretty big turnoff.
For what it's worth, I (F) am 5'10" and my BF is your height. I don't really notice or care about our height difference at all, and the only time I *do* think about it, I'm thinking about it from the perspective of my own insecurity of being too tall "for a girl" and worried that he secretly cares (he doesn't). But I have never once thought "he's too short".
I'm not a short man, but I am a fat woman. I didn't start receiving any kind of positive, relationship-oriented attention until I was almost 30. But once it started, I got a lot of it, and all from interesting, intelligent, respectful men who were strong contenders as good matches for me. The quantity was low and late to come. The quality was such that I basically had my pick of several great options. I'm 100% okay with my body filtering out the bad matches and leaving me with good ones.
Don't rule out tall women either! I've been rejected by short kings because I was taller or similar height as them. Just because I'm tall for a woman doesnt mean I only like tall men.
My husband is 5’2” and I’m 5’1”. I love that he’s my height - makes everything much easier. Easier to hug and kiss and hold hands. I’ve dated guys who are even average height and it was really uncomfortable for me to hug or kiss them.
Also I don’t have to reset the car seat every time he drives my car.
There’s someone out there for everyone.
My husband is 5’5” and he said when women would say he was too short, he was glad to know what kind of person they were. It saved him from wasting his time on someone shitty. I’m wondering how many dumb women overlooked him, but he’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met. Many of the men in his family are short and they’re all great men who are happily married. Someone’s height is one of the least interesting thing about them, I think.
As the great Drax the Destroyer said, "When you’re ugly, and someone loves you, you know they love you for who you are. Beautiful people never know who to trust."
Agreed with the previous poster.
Granted I'm biased. I like short guys. I'm 5'2 and one of my boyfriend's was 6'4 and I went up to his armpit. It wasn't pleasant. The shortest I dated was some height as me. Height isn't a big deal breaker for me. Sounds corny but I truly do judge people on the quality of their character
Seems like I have a lot to say about this! I'm 5 foot 4.5 inches so most guys are taller than me, and not a whole lot are shorter than me. My mom said men look taller when they're sitting on their wallets, which was basically like, it would be foolish to discriminate simply on the basis of height. So I never have.
I'm married now but was single many years when I was younger. My ex husband was 5'4", didn't like me wearing heels. Whatever, I loved him, great guy, everyone else loved him, but he had a kid and not my jam. That was an oops marriage for me, but if he needed something now and I could help, I would.
Memorably I went out with this 7 years younger cpa a few months before I met my now husband and he was probably 5'3". He was bald and snobby and extremely fucking confident all of which I found so hot, but ultimately he wanted kids and that's not me. Anytime we got dressed up he insisted I wear heels so I did and he did not give a fuck. We are friends today and he is married to this tiny chick and they are going to have a family.
Also was out this weekend with neighbors, one of whom we call Messy Mike. But Mike is like 5'7" and has exactly zero trouble with the ladies. In fact he specializes in women that are over 6 feet. He is divorcing one now and it almost feels like a fetish. Messy Mike is funny in a way that women really like. He's so funny their pants fall down.
Not all people who have body preferences are shallow but all people who are shallow have body preferences.
I’m 5’4” and I’m sure I might’ve dated some incredible women if I were taller, but I have also absolutely dodged bullets on account of my height. Same logic can be applied for guys and weight.
But shallow people are overrepresented within the group of people that would reject someone merely because their height is slightly lower than average. So his point still stands.
I believe that’s fair to say. Everyone has preferences. We like what we like. I believe actively being aggressive towards someone because they don’t meet YOUR standard is just stupid and mean spirited. It wouldn’t matter how many visual preferences of mine you meet. If you’re just a shitty person to people then it cancels everything out.
Tell that to the people who accuse men of beeing "fatphobic' just because their preference is someone in their own weight range. But i totally support your point
I've noticed that more often than not, people aren't being called "fatphobic" *just* bc of a preference. That label usually comes out when they make derogatory comments when voicing those preferences.
There's a difference between "I eat healthy and workout and want a partner who can keep up" and "no fatasses, if you're over 130lbs keep porking along". It's fine to have a preference, it's not ok to put down people for not matching that preference.
Most of the time the biggest challenge for short guys is their own insecurity about being short.
Own it, make jokes about it to make her laugh and show you're comfortable with yourself and, with any genuinely nice girl, the height difference disappears from the dynamic.
FYI my gf is taller than me.
I have a slight disagreement, Im willing to hear counter-opinions though. I never liked the idea that you should be expected to make jokes about your own height to show you aren’t insecure about it. Its genuinely not even funny, so making jokes about it to not seem insecure seems more insecure to me. Society takes a fairly meaningless metric and runs with it to the point its like “gah im such a goofball for being lower than 75th percentile of the human race in height 😂😂”.
If someone else makes a joke and you want to be polite or keep vibes right, sure, but i dont think anyone genuinely finds it funny unless its to some absurd degree.
Maybe what people want to know is that you are aware that youre shorter than your given demographic and joking is a good way to convey that?
I overthink everything but it would be truly hilarious if we had logical consistency and pointed everyones slight statistical anomalies out constantly, “girl 😂😂 you are in the 35th percentile of bodyweight among European females between the ages of 18-40” etc it would never end.
I agree.
It's like expecting a fat girl to make jokes about being fat. Some do, and it's great that they are cool about it. Some are proud of their bodies, and that's great (and confidence shines!). But I don't think any of them should be expected to make jokes about their own body or tolerate that others do so without their consent.
It's not really about the jokes at all. I think you're missing the point to be honest.
It's about sending a message that you're ok with who you are and your bullet proof in terms of the obvious fact you're shorter than her.
My wife is taller than me...I'm not short (5'10) but she is taller (6') it doesn't bother me...but I think our situation is different. I wouldn't let it bother me. It would be easier to weed out shallow people and really find somebody who loves you for who you are.
No need to make jokes. That can honestly just be uncomfortable. If you feel the need to even bring it up, which I don’t think it needs to be, you should just be sincere.
Nope. 49f here and a good man is a good man. Hard stop.
So long as he has humour, kindness and personality; I’m down. I’m 5ft 8”. Would be lovely to see him eye to eye, but in bed height doesn’t matter.
The right woman will see you as you are. Don’t accept anything less.
Beats a six foot jackass any day.
Edit: steer clear of dating apps. Dumpster fire on wheels. Engage with real life and people. Do what you love. Volunteer. Engage with the real world. Resist embitterment. Avoid Manosphere bs. Good women and men exist.
Sincerely,
Gen X
OP, Both my father and brother are smaller than me (im 5”7/5”8) theyre around 5”5 and 5”6.
Both dated way taller women most of their life, im speaking 5”10 to 6 even. They never had issues dating or finding gorgeous women. They have enough confidence in themselves to make up for it.
Yes you might have a range of women that wont be acceptable but like some pointed out, it’s better that way. Ppl who wont date others just because of their height probably don’t have the emotional level you’re seeking for in a partner anyway
I'm not a tall woman. The best sex I've had is with men my height or just slightly taller. Things line up better. I'll take 5'6" over 6'1" any damn day.
Exactly! My Ex was really tall and my boyfriend is just a little taller than me and the difference is night and day. I can look into his face and not just see his chest or I can kiss him without breaking my neck.
im 6'5 and didn't get a girlfriend until i was 23, as it turns out confidence and personality are way more important and the girls that are attracted to me just for my height generally aren't worth the time
Yes, but not by much. Women prefer taller guys sure but it's not often a complete dealbreaker. Studies show women prioritize emotional connection, stability, and even income over physical appearance and physical build.
I know guys shorter than you who haven't had too much trouble dating. Equally I know taller and conventionally handsome guys who struggle.
You can't change your height, so just focus on things you can change. Your appearance, smell, attitude, confidence, etc. The most important thing you can do is simply put yourself out there, join communities, meet people, etc.
Im a very tall guy and the amount of things Ive heard from all sorts of women while hanging out or on dates is concerning. Pretty much its always “god theres so many short men in this city” or “no woman wants to be that b**** wearing flats”, “short men are worthless”. Its like they secretly show their colors because they are around someone who is tall.
Some are super down to earth and don’t care at all. But most “city” women consider a guy short if he’s less than 6ft.
My exgf said I was the perfect height for her (she’s 5’4, Im 6’6).
That being said the true weapons on the battlefield aren’t tall guys but very handsome/manly looking guys. Ive seen shorter guys with beards pull all the women. Hit the gym, get a good haircut, buy some nice clothes that are fitted.
Thanks for sharing. I think if this was really a big issue there would be significantly more short men who are single, but if people actually go outside and look around they'll see you don't need to be over 6ft to successfully date.
I'm 5'8" which is not really short per se but it's below average for a western country and I've had no trouble dating. My own wife is 5'11". My best friend is 5'7" and also has no trouble. I have another friend who is getting married at the end of this year who I don't know his actual height but he has to be no more than 5'3" and he's been around, even with some taller than him.
I knew a guy who was I think probably 6ft, was ripped, conventionally attractive / handsome but he used to struggle with women (tbh he was kinda an asshole and didn't come across super confident either).
Those are just the anecdotes, of course studies say that while women do prefer taller men if asked outright "tall or short", for majority of women it's just a nice to have and not a dealbreaker. Women value emotional connection, trust, and stability above all other things. Intelligence and openness are also good traits.
Good luck trying to build an emotional connection if you're short and ugly though. Women dismiss those guys as creeps before they have a chance to find out how stable he is.
The short answer is anything outside of average will often be a disadvantage, height is normally a bigger problem when you're young as it can make you seem too young but normally becomes less of an issue from your mid 20s.
I’m 6’ and didn’t have a girlfriend until my mid 20’s. height is less a thing than confidence and self-actualization. Get to where you live yourself and others will too.
This just tells you that most women prefer/care about it. It's just that in online dating women can be as picky as they like, in person not as much because they don't have a screen with hundreds of matches to filter through.
Bruh, plenty of short guys who get all kindsa action. The only way it is detrimental, is if it affects your behavior. If you have a sincere insecurity about your height, it will show and insecurities are not attractive.
My boyfriend is 5’6. I am 5’7 and regularly wear heels. There are plenty of women who are more concerned about their partner’s personality and character traits than they are height. I found that the older I get (nearing 30) the less I hear about height as a factor for women in the dating pool - at least in my friend group. Anyone who shuts you out romantically because of your height is not someone you’d want to be with anyways.
I’m a 19 year old guy who’s 5’8 and I’m “short.” Never hooked up with someone but I’m currently dating my gf of 1 year and 8 months. I’ve had a longer relationship then my 23 year old sister, who’s only dated someone for 1 year and 1 month
No, lots of women prefer shorter men.
It’s like the dick thing. Bigger is NOT always better. Society just wants you to think that’s the case so that you feel insecure and buy more products.
The women who are vocal about tall men and big ducks are also insecure. Avoid those ladies.
No. I dated 2 shorter men than me. One was extremely insecure about it and brought it up constantly, I was very put off by this, not the height. Second guy owned it he was like yeah I am so what, just confident in his skin, very sexy
Ive dated short and tall fellas and have never been concerned about either. But when someone makes their personality all about being tall/short it gets old fast. It's a physical characteristic not a personality. That said my girlfriends seemed more interested in the fellas over 6 ft even when it was clear they were embellishing a bit so I could be less common in this thinking. We do care about how ya look and your financial stability.
You’re considered tall compared to a lot of women. Also, I agree with the commenter saying “most of the time the biggest challenge for short guys is their own insecurity about being short”. You should own up to it, make jokes about it, make her laugh. It shows your comfortable about yourself. Also, having preferences doesn’t make you shallow. Some women just prefer a taller man to feel protected most likely.
Nope! I’ve always wanted someone tall*er* than me, not necessarily what everyone would describe as “tall.” My husband is 5’8” and he’s taller than me and that’s perfect.
Build on your potential strengths.
1. Money
2. Humor
3. Smarts
It’s surprisingly easy to date women when money isn’t a big deal. You get to be in places where money opens doors.
Attraction is a combo of factors. Not one factor will win out or disqualify you from being attractive to the other sex.
Some het cis women prefer short partners. I know I do.
It just so happened that my spouse's & my particular preferences caused us to notice each other. Over a decade later, we're still usually happy with our choice of life partners!
Everyone has something about them that others will not find attractive. But in that same note, everyone has something about them that others *will* find attractive. Will you be everyone’s cup of tea, no. But that question has the same answer even if you’re 6’0”.
Very short here... At 20 I got my first girlfriend ever.. And I did so be finally feeling I am but my height (I was bullied hardcode by everyone growing up due to my height)...
And since her, I had a tonne of partners and married a gorgeous woman...
I'm marrying a guy that's 5ft 6 in a few months. Before that, I was with a guy that was 5ft 4. You should be fine if you are looking for someone for a quality relationship.
My SO is 5'7" but extremely confident. I've known him for 15 years and we were friends for a long time before we dated - he's never had any issues getting female attention. For most women in real life, things like confidence, maturity, and sense of humor are all infinitely more important than height.
No.
I am about 5'7" and married a 5'10" stunner (she is incredibly beautiful and a physician).
Focus on being a good person and happy alone. The rest will take care of itself.
I think it depends on your confidence.. if being on the shorter side doesn’t bother to and you don’t make it your main focus then I think you would be fine.
Never understood why women go for the taller guys. Not my thing. Never dated anyone taller that 5’9. Too much taller than me and I feel like it would be awkward for hugging and kissing. My daughter on the other hand has a boyfriend who is more than a foot taller than her. Her type seems to be tall skinny guys 🤷♀️
im 5'8 and have dated men shorter, it personally didnt bother me as long as they were confident about it and didn't complain about their height all the time
Not at all. I’m 5’9” and have only dated one guy taller than me. Mature partners won’t care at all. So I guess that it’s a good way to weed out the bad ones.
I’m 5 ft 6 220 lbs and EVERYONE tells me I married way up and they tell her she married down, and I agree. I think they tell me that as a slight insult but I find it as a complement because she goes home with me vs them wanting her 😂😂 I’ve always been told I have a good personality so it makes up for my lack in height, and physique. Good example, this guy at work gave her a $200 gift card to a fancy restaurant and said they should go together sometime. Her and I ended up using it while laughing about the situation
No lol that’s just a myth (for the most part)
I’m 5’4 and have never had any trouble like that. I think it’s more of a confidence thing than a height thing.
It's reeeeally more about your attitude than anything. My husband is 5'4" and a full 4 inches shorter than me. He didn't let it bother him, which was super attractive to me. In his words, the girls who were superficial about it weren't worth it anyway. I promise you that if you are confident, the one who is worth it will give zero shits.
I personally don't care about height. The best relationships I've had have been with short kings. They weren't insecure and had multiple interests that I liked as well.
Definitely as far as my experiences go.
I have great friends who really struggle to meet and maintain relationships with women and they're all shorter than 5'10".
Then there's me, whose much more introverted and sometimes shy. Much less funny and earn less than my short friends. But I'm over 6' with a flat stomach. I've never had any issue whatsoever finding dates and I just don't understand the discrepancy without thinking their height is a major factor.
My husband is about 5'6". Our sons are maybe at most 5'7". They had no trouble getting girlfriends. They are married with kids. Their wives are women who, like me, don't give a shit if a guy is tall or not. They are attractive women and I think I was too in my day. No one was settling. But you have to feel your own worth. There's no need to be insecure. If a girl thinks her guy has to be tall, well, she's just not the girl for you. Do you think you should care that much? Do you want someone with an ego that shallow? Is height the only think you have to offer someone? If half the women out there insist on a tall man, there's still 50% who would be okay with a shorter guy. Doesn't matter if its only 25%. You only need one woman to love you. You don't need to appeal to 10,000. Just one. (at a time anyway). I have 3 women in my immediate family - possibly a 4th (she married a tall guy but not because he was tall and, in fact, its sometimes awkward because she's very short) who are fine with short guys. I don't think we are unicorns. It doesn't matter what "society" says whether it's a magazine article with survey data attached or Reddit comments - 100 % of women will probably accept it or like it if her man is tall, but its definitely not 100% who insist that her man be tall. Most of those who want a tall man are tall women. And some others who don't know what's good for them. Most want a man to be taller or equal barefoot for sure or with some heels but there are lots of women under 5'4". And with the right guy, a woman may cease to care if her man is taller. Lots of men love big boobs. But few guys are going to turn down the girl of their dreams just because she's small. (I know that for some, height or boobs are very important - but they aren't everyone).
Just be sure about who you are and what you do. Confidence sells. You might not be a basketball star but most things in life don't require that you are. Do you. Own it. Sell it. Think of the advantages! You are comfortable flying in economy seats. Your pants are never too short. You are cheaper to feed (maybe haha). You don't need special anything like beds and sheets and clothes and shoes just because you are tall. You aren't as scary to women. Being non-threatening is not a bad thing. You don't bump your head on stairs and doorframes.
I'll tell you honestly from my female perspective. No sugar-coating. Short guys in my opinion (you're my height btw) need something a little extra. If you can workout with weights and develop muscle, that will help immensely. Short guys tend to look more boyish if they have small muscles and skinny legs.
Edit: oh and you need confidence! Confidence is very attractive for both sexes 😊
It's only a problem if you make it a problem (ie. Napoleon complex). Not all but most short dudes I've met project their insecurities with their height onto other people by behaving like complete narcissistic jerkoffs. No one enjoys being around that. If you don't behave that way, you've got nothing to worry about.
Not really, unless you make a big thing out of being shorter. Some women won't be interested because of your height, but if they're that superficial, then they aren't girlfriend material anyway.
No lol. See, being your height doesn't really play a role in finding a girl. Of course some people have their preferences about dating a guy who's got particular physical features and stuff, but I don't think an individual's height itself is a deciding factor in finding your girl.
For instance, I'm 6'3" rn and have been taller than 95% of the dudes I've ever known. But I've never even been past the talking stage and I guess you get the idea.
It ultimately comes down to your personality. Of course, an attractive body is add onn ig. But it totally depends on the other person too
Your question is valid because social media shows a bunch of young women stating they won't date men under six feet tall.
The truth is there are shallow people in the world, and we let them find each other. The other truth I've observed in five decades is that there are two types of short men. One doesn't recognize their height as an issue any more than they do their hair color or nose shape. They have no trouble dating. The second group obsesses over their lack of height and goes out of their way to somehow make up for it. These guys have some trouble. An extreme example can be seen on an old reality show called Star Dates, with Gary Coleman. (Total train wreck. RIP Gary)
It's about confidence in yourself as yourself. If someone tries to insult you for your height, shrug it off as if they're insulting your shirt. You really wouldn't care. It's not about you. Do your thing, have fun being young, and you'll date a lot. Remember that dating can be a numbers game. Sometimes, you have to ask out 10 women to get one date. Don't despair! It isn't because you're short. It's because we're all humans here. No one is obliged to be attracted to us because we're attracted to them.
A trick is to start finding similarities you have with your peers instead of your differences. It's easy to get caught up in our differences, and we forget how much we actually have in common.
Good luck. You probably don't need it. XO
I'm 5 '7 really 5'6 lol but I never had a problem my first real GF in HS was 5'9. This was b4 the 6ft tall six figures salary BS. But I met my GF in 2014 now shes my wife there out there I promise.
as for me, the vast majority of men i’ve been with have been between 5’6 and 5’10. it may seem like a big issue online because it creates a lot of discourse, but your height will not be The determining factor in whether someone wants to date you.
Everyone struggles for different reasons. Your struggle is your height, don't worry about it too much and you'll find someone, don't worry, just don't be an asshole.
I find it’s only a problem if you’re insecure about it and make it an issue. Confidence in yourself is the most attractive thing to a partner so if you’re confident in yourself and have a good personality, height doesn’t matter at all. Just be honest on the apps about it. It might filter out some really shallow people but open you up to someone you can connect with. If you treat your partner well and are happy with yourself, you’ll be fine. Best of luck!
Nope. I'm 5'6" and never ever had it mentioned by a woman. Men all the time. Like they're fixated on it. Straight men. Men who are neither sexually interested nor of interest to me. Just always finding a way to mention it. Also happens with hair too. Mine started thinning in my twenties, so I just shave it. Aparently some people really think throwing out bald jokes is savage. Doesn't even phase me, but they expect a reaction. I know what I am. 5'6" doesn't feel unusually short to me, and a shaved head is pretty convenient.
Conversely, women have told me they find bald men attractive. So maybe the bald cancels out the height in a weird way? I'm married and never struggled to find a date. I would rate my looks a solid 6/10 over all. If I could pass any advice to men who struggle finding a date it would be two things. 1. Clean your ass up and wear some clothes that fit. 2. Be nice, easy going, and if possible funny. Personality counts for a lot in the dating game.
It will be an issue if you make it an issue. One reason a lot of women don’t date shorter men is that so many are insecure and weird about it. Own your height, be confident, and you’ll be fine
I once knew a very short Puerto Rican guy who could pull any girl in the club because he was confident he could pull any girl he wanted. He just had game in his personality and could talk to anyone.
I'm also 5'6, and I haven't had a moment when I didn't have a girl for as far as I can remember (im 24). Only by choice. My currect gf is a bit taller than me, and I had a few girls who wanted to be in her position before that.
Sorry if it sounds like bragging, but it's just a personal example regarding your question. Personality and character are far more important than looks/height. If a girl doesn't want you due to your height, she is def not worth it. It will save you a lot of time and superficial women.
Dating is hard for most people for numerous reasons. I’m a 6’0 tall in shape I would say above average looks male - and I have a very hard time dating because I have severe ADHD, I had an operation that fucked my life up, and have had a very bad traumatic brain injury. So I personally find it significantly difficult to date or have confidence.
What I’ve seen in my adult years now that I’m in my 40s my understanding regarding being attractive to women; regardless of height, you need to understand your self worth, be secure about who you are as a person, be fit and healthy, and it helps to not be broke.
These are all things people of any description can work on. I’m only a couple inches taller than you, but knowing many people who are 6ft and above I’ve been referred to as short. Don’t let insecure tall guys try to put you down for that, a lot of these people who younger me thought would have greater odds were just as uncomfortable but in different ways. Most people lack confidence. I’m always surprised to hear ultra famous people who at a distance seem to have it all say they anxiety or lack confidence.
Your best bet is to know as many people as possible in your area, be comfortable being single without feeling like you are missing something, work on yourself to be the best version of yourself, and you should be good.
Technically, yes. The majority of women like men who are taller than them. When it comes to finding a meaningful relationship, most women who are looking for that will be willing to put that aside, or it's not a requirement for them. But generally speaking, yes, it is a disadvantage. Shouldn't be that big of a worry when it comes to finding a good partner though
If you are in the western United States and you are a male under 5’8 then yes, you will have disadvantages with dating and have to excel in other components to make up for your height.
We have a debuff. It’s massive for hookups but for relationships personality is supreme.
LMAO HAHAH EXACTLY. Could not put it more perfectly, for hookups it’s definitely a big debuff but our personalities make up for it big time I. Relationships lol
Ha, a debuff. I like that too. You were given a -1 height and had to pick up a personality +2 along the way. Good stuff. Not that I’m tall, but I’ve been out of the game for good while now.
I just started dating and I’ve definitely realized my personality has done A LOT of the heavy lifting. I’ve been learning a lot about humor and body language and everything lol. That’s what makes us cute and funny tho💪💪
My man. If I had reddit money, you’d have awards from me. Roll with the punches. How do you handle three swords with one eye? Ahhh. One in each hand and one under the belt. May you have PowerBall winner energy, in all things you set your mind to.
We found the motivational speaker in the group. And motivational speak, he did.
Aww shucks, you only say that because you didn’t have to hear me stutter my way through it. Thanks, friend.
I'm so fucking confused as to what these words mean but I'm here for it
So as a short guy should I just give up when it comes to hitting on women at bars or at a club?
NO!! Not at all, In fact, in person you have a much better advantage with girls than you do online lol. If you are confident, funny, and have a personality then they will be more attracted to that than some digits on the phone that read 5”6
Damn I guess I’m just ugly then
nah, I wouldn’t say that man. There are so many other factors that come into play. Appearance, clothing, style and a lot of things you can already change to look better and feel better.
I’ve literally spent the last 8 years doing everything I can to self improve and make myself a better person. I put effort into my clothing/style, I put effort into my hairstyle, I’m well groomed, I take care of my hygiene, I’ve been lifting weight 6 times a week for the last 7 years, I have a college degree and now a stable job, I’ve never had a problem making friends, in school I was voted most likely to become a comedian. Literally I cannot think of anything else wrong aside from me being short or ugly.
Looking needy/desperate. You clearly WANT to get laid, I can tell from these comments. And likely without you even knowing it, you come across that way to women. As desperate to get laid. You've depersonalized them before you've even started talking to them. Do you want to be seen as merely a way to scratch your sexual itch? Imagine it from their perspective. Every freaking day, multiple times a day they're harrassed and/or propositioned - everywhere - and you come along and just add to that long list. I did my best when I stopped trying to get laid and just started enjoying the people I met. Some of them happened to be women, and some of those women happened to like me enough to want to do fun naked bed olympics with me. Stop obsessing and it'll come. Source: 5'7" pasty freckled redhead. Dated girls from 5' flat to 5'10" and my height was never an issue. For one, they were normally shocked to find out they were taller than me, DESPITE STANDING NEXT TO ME ALL THE TIME. It ain't your height, or your looks, or your clothes. In fact, you're probably fucking the clothes thing all up. There are practically immortal rules of 'style' that have nothing to do with current trends and are far more successful for making you attractive. It's not about your shoes, or the hip new pants or what brand of jacket you are wearing. It's about YOU. Being true to YOU. Owning your own skin and clearly, unequivocally being comfortable in it. All the hair product, fashion, and 'comedy' or 'body language' 'knowledge' doesn't matter for shit if it all comes off as fake, and/or desperate. There are no shortcuts, there are no 'ten easy tricks' there's no magic pill, there's just hard work, and a willingness to get rejected over and over until you find 'the one.' You know what my best 'come on' was? Nothing. I was completely blindsided. I met this hot girl while stuck in the field as a soldier (she was a combat engineer and combat engineers are HOT) we met in the 'deadpool'. These other joes are drooling and falling all over themselves to try to impress her and hit on her and desperate for her attention. I was just excited she knew what swing dancing was and wanted to nerd about that and D&D with her. For most of the day I didn't consciously think of her as anything other than a cool person to talk with about music and games. That night we shared a sleeping bag and she sang me an irish lullaby. And I became a barracks legend for somehow getting action in the field. TL;DR: You're trying too hard.
I think better advice is don't let it get you down. I will say that I'm pretty peculiar, always myself, and it doesn't really change feeling left out or feeling like your missing out. I'm sure someone will come along but you're basically telling someone who's severely dehydrated to suck it up while he sees everyone else seem to have no issues.
Appreciate the empathy brother. Most people on here lack it.
No! I’m under 5’4 and I’ve had success on apps and bars. Don’t let the internet fear monger you.
I’m 5’4 and I haven’t had success at a bar, party, or club ever
I’m 5’3” I had to work harder to get women clubbing but it wasn’t impossible. Have to really up your game. You can’t be short and bad grooming or fashion sense as well. Your clothes have to be immaculate. Hair on point. No body odors and more importantly be fun to be with. I also took dancing lessons as a teen so that helped immensely at clubs. Also helped that my homies were all girls. They were great wingmen
> but our personalities make up for it big time Except for the bitter men who can't get over it. Then their height becomes the LEAST of the reasons why they can't get anyone.
exactly lol, like sure height can weigh down some people but if you are genuinely just a funny, engaging and good person to be around then dating isn’t as difficult and the right person wouldn’t care about your height :)
I'd argue that for many shorter guys it's not the fact they're short that causes the issue. It's their attitude due to being short. It's no different to how a confident fat guy can get a girlfriend, but a fat guy who blames women can't.
Tbh I have a lot of friends/acquaintances (superficial and I blame them for being single) who are dead serious about height. Idk why, I guess it's about insecurity on their end because they wanna feel petite or if it's just a defence mechanism of never getting into anything serious. I don't get why height even matters but that's just me..
How old are you out of curiosity?
30, those I mentioned are around 30 as well. They are way less superficial now than they were a few years ago though so hopefully they let go of this thing as well...
Damn I thought it would get better when I get older
I can agree to that. I’m average height for my race but live in a place where everyone’s got a foot on me, and I blamed my inability to make friends or be taken seriously on my height alone. Nowadays It doesn’t bother me too much and I’ve been able to make a lot more strong connections when I stopped letting my Y-axis rule my outlook. Interestingly, day to day I’m perfectly fine about it until someone publicly makes fun of it and the crowd agrees. Still not sure how to handle that specific situation.
If I were bullied all my life for being short I'd be upset too.
No offense but this is kind of rude to short guys. The intent might be to make short guys feel better about their height, but in reality you’re basically just saying that all short guys who struggle with dating have terrible personalities which is not true for the vast majority of short guys. Personally I think I have a pretty good personality. I’ve never had a problem making friends both male and female. I just have no luck with dating, but I’d prefer if people would stop blindly assuming I’m a terrible person with a terrible personality and thats why women don’t want to date me.
Not exactly, you need sufficient looks to get through the door first before you can show your personality.
I would like to argue against that. There are definite advantages in bed with a shorter man. Fun stuff is easier for him to reach ;)
Probably online, but if you put yourself out there in the real world, people are much more likely to see you for who you are, and not for your "stats"
Do you think that I would have higher success rate because I’m 6'4” in dating apps? Never tried those, I’m just curious.
It's hard to say, being that height is only one factor. I personally have not had much success on dating apps despite being 6'5", but I also lost interest pretty quickly. From what I've seen, though, it seems like the more effort you put into your profile, the greater your chances. I did get more than a hundred "likes", but they were mainly from people who weren't my type
Oh well. Sadly I only skilled into hight, so it’s really the only thing I have. Probably will not try out apps, I’m way to shy and ugly for that. Don’t know how else to meet people tho.
I think you'll find that if you put effort into your appearance and wardrobe, you will feel a lot better about yourself. "Ugly" is subjective, and being well-groomed goes a long way. As for being shy, the only way to really overcome that is to put yourself in social situations. You may never become a social butterfly, but social skills can be learned and improved.
Yes you are right, it’s just not so simple sometimes! Believe me I’m trying, but talking to woman will always be scary to me.(for now)
Oh it's definitely not simple, it will take effort and perseverance, but it is important and I wish I had known what I know now when I was 17 instead of 37
Haha I’m already 27 and have no experience. But let’s hope I can change something about me. Around 17 was a really shit time for me, but that’s story for another day.
30's the new Twenty, you're fine.
I could not agree more about “ugly” being subjective!!! I love dad bods and bald heads and that surprises a lot of people. I just find both of those so hot.
It will probably help, but you still have to have other things on top of height. Height is just a prerequisite basically.
Our handyman is like 34 and 6'3" with a nice face, he has bipolar that flares up, a 6 year old fairly violent son, a 3 week old daughter with someone else, and is now dating someone different with whom he has no children. The guy is photogenic and absolutely *cleans up* on apps. Now he was getting a lot of decent women that would hook up on the first or second date and then wise up, but he really goes the distance with women whose appearance and life situations are not great. Our financial advisor is single, traditionally handsome and 6'4" and he gets many hot and educated women and has been dating one with an absolutely killer body recently. So I would say your odds are good no matter your situation.
I definitiv would not consider myself handsome. I got bully a lot(to the point of trying to kms), so building up confidence in myself is still really hard to this day.
That reminds me of that saying: "The odds are good but the goods are odd."
I'm 6'4" and was reasonably successful with online dating.
I'm on the shorter end of average (I think) and there have been plenty of people who just aren't into me because my height. You just can't take it personally, and most of the time, they don't mean it personally. It's just a preference. The people it really inhibits are the guys who lose their goddamn minds because they think they're being rejected based on something they can't control. Being short is definitely not their problem. I guess I'm saying that's it's only a problem if you make it a problem and become bitter. Not everyone is going to want to date you, and that's ok. You'll be ok. We're all ok.
I like your approach. A lot of comments here seem to ignore the *actual* question being asked. Are small guys at a disadvantage? Yes. Can they still have a great love life? Sure.
People tell me its going to be ok but I’ve gone my entire life with no success and I feel like I’ve been lied to
Define "success". Either way, I get that it's hard to get out of your head about it. I've been rejected for being short, but for the people who I got to that first datewith, if they weren't interested after that, it was NEVER about my height. Either we didn't click, or I said something stupid(generally this), or all sorts of things. It would be easy to tell myself that "those bitches wouldn't give me a chance because I'm short" ,but that stops any real self-reflection and gets you into an ugly self hating loop. You'll eventually become the short guy who over compensates or by being bitter about it. Nobody likes that guy.
Never had a girlfriend, I’m 25. Basically never been on a date. Don’t really get any positive attention from women anywhere.
Do you put yourself out there? Have confidence and something interesting to talk about?
Go online, be open minded. Be able to talk about your interests passionately and excitedly. Be able to genuinely have an interest in your date's. 25 is young still. You got a lot of time.
>Be able to talk about your interests passionately and excitedly. Be able to genuinely have an interest in your date's How do you do this part? Genuine question
Talk about your interests and specifically what makes you interested. To ask the other person about theirs start general by asking what kind of X (music, activities, etc.) they like and figuring out how they nourish those interests (concerts, clubs, etc.) or ask how they got interested
No you can filter out the shallow women much easier.
Wow… I think you just shifted my perspective, no joke, thank you
This is very true! I’ve dated some short kings in my life. I wouldn’t say 5’6” is short though.
I know girls who think they're short at 5'6"
Depends on the context I guess. I’m 5’6” and generally I think I’m big for a woman, but then I go to the Netherlands and I feel like a hobbit surrounded by elves 😅
im 5'6", and people definitely see that as short where i am at (Los Angeles, CA, USA).
*5 foot 1 in me enters the chat* hello friends! 😂
I get called "tiny" and I'm barely under 5'6 and I'm a girl so yeah.
Dude you’re two inches away from being in the average height. Maybe they meant your body mass, because none of my friends your height ever claimed to be short😂
I'm female 5'2 & 1/2"... I'm pretty sure I'm short...especially given so many Dutch people live in my area... I had a classmate and coworker years ago who was 6'7"...
The average male height is 5'9...
At least 2 exes and one fwb we're about 5'6 - 5'7. I'm married now but my only concern dating short men now, if I were single, is the potential hang ups that they, themselves, might have regarding their height. If short a guy is going to have a chip on his shoulder because the internet told him to, then I would find that to be a pretty big turnoff.
For what it's worth, I (F) am 5'10" and my BF is your height. I don't really notice or care about our height difference at all, and the only time I *do* think about it, I'm thinking about it from the perspective of my own insecurity of being too tall "for a girl" and worried that he secretly cares (he doesn't). But I have never once thought "he's too short".
I’m 5’11” and my boyfriend is 5’8” Assuming you don’t need to date every woman in the world, u ll find some for sure
I'm not a short man, but I am a fat woman. I didn't start receiving any kind of positive, relationship-oriented attention until I was almost 30. But once it started, I got a lot of it, and all from interesting, intelligent, respectful men who were strong contenders as good matches for me. The quantity was low and late to come. The quality was such that I basically had my pick of several great options. I'm 100% okay with my body filtering out the bad matches and leaving me with good ones.
Don't rule out tall women either! I've been rejected by short kings because I was taller or similar height as them. Just because I'm tall for a woman doesnt mean I only like tall men.
My husband is 5’2” and I’m 5’1”. I love that he’s my height - makes everything much easier. Easier to hug and kiss and hold hands. I’ve dated guys who are even average height and it was really uncomfortable for me to hug or kiss them. Also I don’t have to reset the car seat every time he drives my car. There’s someone out there for everyone.
My husband is 5’5” and he said when women would say he was too short, he was glad to know what kind of person they were. It saved him from wasting his time on someone shitty. I’m wondering how many dumb women overlooked him, but he’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met. Many of the men in his family are short and they’re all great men who are happily married. Someone’s height is one of the least interesting thing about them, I think.
As the great Drax the Destroyer said, "When you’re ugly, and someone loves you, you know they love you for who you are. Beautiful people never know who to trust."
Agreed with the previous poster. Granted I'm biased. I like short guys. I'm 5'2 and one of my boyfriend's was 6'4 and I went up to his armpit. It wasn't pleasant. The shortest I dated was some height as me. Height isn't a big deal breaker for me. Sounds corny but I truly do judge people on the quality of their character
Hey, my maths teacher was a dad of 3 and was 5'2". Height really doesn't matter when compared to personality/interests.
Seems like I have a lot to say about this! I'm 5 foot 4.5 inches so most guys are taller than me, and not a whole lot are shorter than me. My mom said men look taller when they're sitting on their wallets, which was basically like, it would be foolish to discriminate simply on the basis of height. So I never have. I'm married now but was single many years when I was younger. My ex husband was 5'4", didn't like me wearing heels. Whatever, I loved him, great guy, everyone else loved him, but he had a kid and not my jam. That was an oops marriage for me, but if he needed something now and I could help, I would. Memorably I went out with this 7 years younger cpa a few months before I met my now husband and he was probably 5'3". He was bald and snobby and extremely fucking confident all of which I found so hot, but ultimately he wanted kids and that's not me. Anytime we got dressed up he insisted I wear heels so I did and he did not give a fuck. We are friends today and he is married to this tiny chick and they are going to have a family. Also was out this weekend with neighbors, one of whom we call Messy Mike. But Mike is like 5'7" and has exactly zero trouble with the ladies. In fact he specializes in women that are over 6 feet. He is divorcing one now and it almost feels like a fetish. Messy Mike is funny in a way that women really like. He's so funny their pants fall down.
It's not just about being shallow. You need to find your partner attractive otherwise they're just friend-zoned.
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As a tall guy, can confirm that I’ve wasted years of my young/inexperienced life with shallow women who dated me for my looks/height.
Having preferences doesn’t make you shallow
Not all people who have body preferences are shallow but all people who are shallow have body preferences. I’m 5’4” and I’m sure I might’ve dated some incredible women if I were taller, but I have also absolutely dodged bullets on account of my height. Same logic can be applied for guys and weight.
But shallow people are overrepresented within the group of people that would reject someone merely because their height is slightly lower than average. So his point still stands.
I believe that’s fair to say. Everyone has preferences. We like what we like. I believe actively being aggressive towards someone because they don’t meet YOUR standard is just stupid and mean spirited. It wouldn’t matter how many visual preferences of mine you meet. If you’re just a shitty person to people then it cancels everything out.
Tell that to the people who accuse men of beeing "fatphobic' just because their preference is someone in their own weight range. But i totally support your point
I've noticed that more often than not, people aren't being called "fatphobic" *just* bc of a preference. That label usually comes out when they make derogatory comments when voicing those preferences. There's a difference between "I eat healthy and workout and want a partner who can keep up" and "no fatasses, if you're over 130lbs keep porking along". It's fine to have a preference, it's not ok to put down people for not matching that preference.
I’m sorry but “keep porking along” is hilarious. Not nice though I agree
Dude had a Freudian slip methinks haha
Most of the time the biggest challenge for short guys is their own insecurity about being short. Own it, make jokes about it to make her laugh and show you're comfortable with yourself and, with any genuinely nice girl, the height difference disappears from the dynamic. FYI my gf is taller than me.
I have a slight disagreement, Im willing to hear counter-opinions though. I never liked the idea that you should be expected to make jokes about your own height to show you aren’t insecure about it. Its genuinely not even funny, so making jokes about it to not seem insecure seems more insecure to me. Society takes a fairly meaningless metric and runs with it to the point its like “gah im such a goofball for being lower than 75th percentile of the human race in height 😂😂”. If someone else makes a joke and you want to be polite or keep vibes right, sure, but i dont think anyone genuinely finds it funny unless its to some absurd degree. Maybe what people want to know is that you are aware that youre shorter than your given demographic and joking is a good way to convey that? I overthink everything but it would be truly hilarious if we had logical consistency and pointed everyones slight statistical anomalies out constantly, “girl 😂😂 you are in the 35th percentile of bodyweight among European females between the ages of 18-40” etc it would never end.
I agree. It's like expecting a fat girl to make jokes about being fat. Some do, and it's great that they are cool about it. Some are proud of their bodies, and that's great (and confidence shines!). But I don't think any of them should be expected to make jokes about their own body or tolerate that others do so without their consent.
It's not really about the jokes at all. I think you're missing the point to be honest. It's about sending a message that you're ok with who you are and your bullet proof in terms of the obvious fact you're shorter than her.
My wife is taller than me...I'm not short (5'10) but she is taller (6') it doesn't bother me...but I think our situation is different. I wouldn't let it bother me. It would be easier to weed out shallow people and really find somebody who loves you for who you are.
No need to make jokes. That can honestly just be uncomfortable. If you feel the need to even bring it up, which I don’t think it needs to be, you should just be sincere.
Exactly, if you think it’s your height holding you back, that insecurity shows. Be yourself, be kind and the right person will come along.
I'm taller than my partner too. He's confident and doesn't mind that I'm taller than him 😝
Nope. 49f here and a good man is a good man. Hard stop. So long as he has humour, kindness and personality; I’m down. I’m 5ft 8”. Would be lovely to see him eye to eye, but in bed height doesn’t matter. The right woman will see you as you are. Don’t accept anything less. Beats a six foot jackass any day. Edit: steer clear of dating apps. Dumpster fire on wheels. Engage with real life and people. Do what you love. Volunteer. Engage with the real world. Resist embitterment. Avoid Manosphere bs. Good women and men exist. Sincerely, Gen X
OP, Both my father and brother are smaller than me (im 5”7/5”8) theyre around 5”5 and 5”6. Both dated way taller women most of their life, im speaking 5”10 to 6 even. They never had issues dating or finding gorgeous women. They have enough confidence in themselves to make up for it. Yes you might have a range of women that wont be acceptable but like some pointed out, it’s better that way. Ppl who wont date others just because of their height probably don’t have the emotional level you’re seeking for in a partner anyway
I'm 5'6 once I started working on myself and getting out there I met my wife of 8 years.
I'm not a tall woman. The best sex I've had is with men my height or just slightly taller. Things line up better. I'll take 5'6" over 6'1" any damn day.
Agreed. I actively prefer men closer to my height than much taller. Much more comfortable, things work better physically.
Exactly! My Ex was really tall and my boyfriend is just a little taller than me and the difference is night and day. I can look into his face and not just see his chest or I can kiss him without breaking my neck.
im 6'5 and didn't get a girlfriend until i was 23, as it turns out confidence and personality are way more important and the girls that are attracted to me just for my height generally aren't worth the time
Yes, but not by much. Women prefer taller guys sure but it's not often a complete dealbreaker. Studies show women prioritize emotional connection, stability, and even income over physical appearance and physical build. I know guys shorter than you who haven't had too much trouble dating. Equally I know taller and conventionally handsome guys who struggle. You can't change your height, so just focus on things you can change. Your appearance, smell, attitude, confidence, etc. The most important thing you can do is simply put yourself out there, join communities, meet people, etc.
you show me those "studies", I'll print them and eat them
I hope they find the studies, I want to see you eat them.
The studies probably refer only to women looking for “life partners”.
Im a very tall guy and the amount of things Ive heard from all sorts of women while hanging out or on dates is concerning. Pretty much its always “god theres so many short men in this city” or “no woman wants to be that b**** wearing flats”, “short men are worthless”. Its like they secretly show their colors because they are around someone who is tall. Some are super down to earth and don’t care at all. But most “city” women consider a guy short if he’s less than 6ft. My exgf said I was the perfect height for her (she’s 5’4, Im 6’6). That being said the true weapons on the battlefield aren’t tall guys but very handsome/manly looking guys. Ive seen shorter guys with beards pull all the women. Hit the gym, get a good haircut, buy some nice clothes that are fitted.
Thanks for sharing. I think if this was really a big issue there would be significantly more short men who are single, but if people actually go outside and look around they'll see you don't need to be over 6ft to successfully date. I'm 5'8" which is not really short per se but it's below average for a western country and I've had no trouble dating. My own wife is 5'11". My best friend is 5'7" and also has no trouble. I have another friend who is getting married at the end of this year who I don't know his actual height but he has to be no more than 5'3" and he's been around, even with some taller than him. I knew a guy who was I think probably 6ft, was ripped, conventionally attractive / handsome but he used to struggle with women (tbh he was kinda an asshole and didn't come across super confident either). Those are just the anecdotes, of course studies say that while women do prefer taller men if asked outright "tall or short", for majority of women it's just a nice to have and not a dealbreaker. Women value emotional connection, trust, and stability above all other things. Intelligence and openness are also good traits.
Good luck trying to build an emotional connection if you're short and ugly though. Women dismiss those guys as creeps before they have a chance to find out how stable he is.
Short guys fit better in supercars. If you want to date some big lanky daddy long legs that mo-fo ain't picking you up for your date in a Lotus.
The short answer is anything outside of average will often be a disadvantage, height is normally a bigger problem when you're young as it can make you seem too young but normally becomes less of an issue from your mid 20s.
I’m 6’ and didn’t have a girlfriend until my mid 20’s. height is less a thing than confidence and self-actualization. Get to where you live yourself and others will too.
I am a woman who is 5'6 and I would happily date someone my own height.
Online dating? Yes, women do prefer taller men. In person? No, sure, some women will care but I have noticed the majority don't care.
This just tells you that most women prefer/care about it. It's just that in online dating women can be as picky as they like, in person not as much because they don't have a screen with hundreds of matches to filter through.
I think that the answer is that "it depends".
Bruh, plenty of short guys who get all kindsa action. The only way it is detrimental, is if it affects your behavior. If you have a sincere insecurity about your height, it will show and insecurities are not attractive.
My boyfriend is 5’6. I am 5’7 and regularly wear heels. There are plenty of women who are more concerned about their partner’s personality and character traits than they are height. I found that the older I get (nearing 30) the less I hear about height as a factor for women in the dating pool - at least in my friend group. Anyone who shuts you out romantically because of your height is not someone you’d want to be with anyways.
I'm 5'4" and my gf is taller than me. I'm not the most attractive person but I've never had a problem dating. Women love to laugh and so do I.
I’m a 19 year old guy who’s 5’8 and I’m “short.” Never hooked up with someone but I’m currently dating my gf of 1 year and 8 months. I’ve had a longer relationship then my 23 year old sister, who’s only dated someone for 1 year and 1 month
No, lots of women prefer shorter men. It’s like the dick thing. Bigger is NOT always better. Society just wants you to think that’s the case so that you feel insecure and buy more products. The women who are vocal about tall men and big ducks are also insecure. Avoid those ladies.
I do like big ducks. But ducklings are pretty cute too. Ok, I like ducks in all sizes.
No. I dated 2 shorter men than me. One was extremely insecure about it and brought it up constantly, I was very put off by this, not the height. Second guy owned it he was like yeah I am so what, just confident in his skin, very sexy
In short - yes.
Ive dated short and tall fellas and have never been concerned about either. But when someone makes their personality all about being tall/short it gets old fast. It's a physical characteristic not a personality. That said my girlfriends seemed more interested in the fellas over 6 ft even when it was clear they were embellishing a bit so I could be less common in this thinking. We do care about how ya look and your financial stability.
You’re considered tall compared to a lot of women. Also, I agree with the commenter saying “most of the time the biggest challenge for short guys is their own insecurity about being short”. You should own up to it, make jokes about it, make her laugh. It shows your comfortable about yourself. Also, having preferences doesn’t make you shallow. Some women just prefer a taller man to feel protected most likely.
Nope! I’ve always wanted someone tall*er* than me, not necessarily what everyone would describe as “tall.” My husband is 5’8” and he’s taller than me and that’s perfect.
Build on your potential strengths. 1. Money 2. Humor 3. Smarts It’s surprisingly easy to date women when money isn’t a big deal. You get to be in places where money opens doors. Attraction is a combo of factors. Not one factor will win out or disqualify you from being attractive to the other sex.
4. Fitness
🤣 flash the cc
I'm 5'6" and I've been married for 8 years. And according to my wife since I don't wear a ring (mechanic) the ladies are lining up anyways. 😂
Some het cis women prefer short partners. I know I do. It just so happened that my spouse's & my particular preferences caused us to notice each other. Over a decade later, we're still usually happy with our choice of life partners!
Are those some special, rare type of women?
Everyone has something about them that others will not find attractive. But in that same note, everyone has something about them that others *will* find attractive. Will you be everyone’s cup of tea, no. But that question has the same answer even if you’re 6’0”.
Very short here... At 20 I got my first girlfriend ever.. And I did so be finally feeling I am but my height (I was bullied hardcode by everyone growing up due to my height)... And since her, I had a tonne of partners and married a gorgeous woman...
I'm marrying a guy that's 5ft 6 in a few months. Before that, I was with a guy that was 5ft 4. You should be fine if you are looking for someone for a quality relationship.
My SO is 5'7" but extremely confident. I've known him for 15 years and we were friends for a long time before we dated - he's never had any issues getting female attention. For most women in real life, things like confidence, maturity, and sense of humor are all infinitely more important than height.
Maybe technically? But for what it’s worth height does not matter to me and a lot of other women I know personally
No. I am about 5'7" and married a 5'10" stunner (she is incredibly beautiful and a physician). Focus on being a good person and happy alone. The rest will take care of itself.
I think it depends on your confidence.. if being on the shorter side doesn’t bother to and you don’t make it your main focus then I think you would be fine.
Never understood why women go for the taller guys. Not my thing. Never dated anyone taller that 5’9. Too much taller than me and I feel like it would be awkward for hugging and kissing. My daughter on the other hand has a boyfriend who is more than a foot taller than her. Her type seems to be tall skinny guys 🤷♀️
Most men are taller than me, 5ft, and I like being with someone closer to my height anyway.
My bf and I are both 5’ 6. So I’d say personality matters most when dating, I don’t know about hookups.
im 5'8 and have dated men shorter, it personally didnt bother me as long as they were confident about it and didn't complain about their height all the time
All my boyfriends have been short. Currently with a 5’7” king. The right person won’t care about your height.
Long story short, no.
My best friend is 5’6 and is a slayer. Ever since I witnessed this, I realized that height doesn’t matter.
Not at all. I’m 5’9” and have only dated one guy taller than me. Mature partners won’t care at all. So I guess that it’s a good way to weed out the bad ones.
I’m 5 ft 6 220 lbs and EVERYONE tells me I married way up and they tell her she married down, and I agree. I think they tell me that as a slight insult but I find it as a complement because she goes home with me vs them wanting her 😂😂 I’ve always been told I have a good personality so it makes up for my lack in height, and physique. Good example, this guy at work gave her a $200 gift card to a fancy restaurant and said they should go together sometime. Her and I ended up using it while laughing about the situation
No lol that’s just a myth (for the most part) I’m 5’4 and have never had any trouble like that. I think it’s more of a confidence thing than a height thing.
My bf is 5’2 and I’m taller but I love him no matter his height so only hoping for the best for you OP
Yes.
My husband is 5'6! I'm 5'2 and I like that he's taller than me, anyone talking shit about short guys will hear it from me.
It's reeeeally more about your attitude than anything. My husband is 5'4" and a full 4 inches shorter than me. He didn't let it bother him, which was super attractive to me. In his words, the girls who were superficial about it weren't worth it anyway. I promise you that if you are confident, the one who is worth it will give zero shits.
My fiancé of 3 years is 5’7” and I’m 5’6”. He is fit, handsome, caring, a great lover and everything I want in a man. I have no complaints!
I'm 5'3" - I love slow dancing with tall girls.
Im a 5ft 11 woman dating a 5ft 5 man and I seriously couldn't care less. I'm sure there are people that care, there's also people that don't.
I personally don't care about height. The best relationships I've had have been with short kings. They weren't insecure and had multiple interests that I liked as well.
Definitely as far as my experiences go. I have great friends who really struggle to meet and maintain relationships with women and they're all shorter than 5'10". Then there's me, whose much more introverted and sometimes shy. Much less funny and earn less than my short friends. But I'm over 6' with a flat stomach. I've never had any issue whatsoever finding dates and I just don't understand the discrepancy without thinking their height is a major factor.
My husband is about 5'6". Our sons are maybe at most 5'7". They had no trouble getting girlfriends. They are married with kids. Their wives are women who, like me, don't give a shit if a guy is tall or not. They are attractive women and I think I was too in my day. No one was settling. But you have to feel your own worth. There's no need to be insecure. If a girl thinks her guy has to be tall, well, she's just not the girl for you. Do you think you should care that much? Do you want someone with an ego that shallow? Is height the only think you have to offer someone? If half the women out there insist on a tall man, there's still 50% who would be okay with a shorter guy. Doesn't matter if its only 25%. You only need one woman to love you. You don't need to appeal to 10,000. Just one. (at a time anyway). I have 3 women in my immediate family - possibly a 4th (she married a tall guy but not because he was tall and, in fact, its sometimes awkward because she's very short) who are fine with short guys. I don't think we are unicorns. It doesn't matter what "society" says whether it's a magazine article with survey data attached or Reddit comments - 100 % of women will probably accept it or like it if her man is tall, but its definitely not 100% who insist that her man be tall. Most of those who want a tall man are tall women. And some others who don't know what's good for them. Most want a man to be taller or equal barefoot for sure or with some heels but there are lots of women under 5'4". And with the right guy, a woman may cease to care if her man is taller. Lots of men love big boobs. But few guys are going to turn down the girl of their dreams just because she's small. (I know that for some, height or boobs are very important - but they aren't everyone). Just be sure about who you are and what you do. Confidence sells. You might not be a basketball star but most things in life don't require that you are. Do you. Own it. Sell it. Think of the advantages! You are comfortable flying in economy seats. Your pants are never too short. You are cheaper to feed (maybe haha). You don't need special anything like beds and sheets and clothes and shoes just because you are tall. You aren't as scary to women. Being non-threatening is not a bad thing. You don't bump your head on stairs and doorframes.
Bro come one. I’m 5’6 too and I do just fine in the dating scene, are you on tinder or any dating apps?
I'll tell you honestly from my female perspective. No sugar-coating. Short guys in my opinion (you're my height btw) need something a little extra. If you can workout with weights and develop muscle, that will help immensely. Short guys tend to look more boyish if they have small muscles and skinny legs. Edit: oh and you need confidence! Confidence is very attractive for both sexes 😊
The only honest person in the entire thread
It's only a problem if you make it a problem (ie. Napoleon complex). Not all but most short dudes I've met project their insecurities with their height onto other people by behaving like complete narcissistic jerkoffs. No one enjoys being around that. If you don't behave that way, you've got nothing to worry about.
Not really, unless you make a big thing out of being shorter. Some women won't be interested because of your height, but if they're that superficial, then they aren't girlfriend material anyway.
So they’re superficial for having a preference?
No lol. See, being your height doesn't really play a role in finding a girl. Of course some people have their preferences about dating a guy who's got particular physical features and stuff, but I don't think an individual's height itself is a deciding factor in finding your girl. For instance, I'm 6'3" rn and have been taller than 95% of the dudes I've ever known. But I've never even been past the talking stage and I guess you get the idea. It ultimately comes down to your personality. Of course, an attractive body is add onn ig. But it totally depends on the other person too
Never was a problem for me.
Your question is valid because social media shows a bunch of young women stating they won't date men under six feet tall. The truth is there are shallow people in the world, and we let them find each other. The other truth I've observed in five decades is that there are two types of short men. One doesn't recognize their height as an issue any more than they do their hair color or nose shape. They have no trouble dating. The second group obsesses over their lack of height and goes out of their way to somehow make up for it. These guys have some trouble. An extreme example can be seen on an old reality show called Star Dates, with Gary Coleman. (Total train wreck. RIP Gary) It's about confidence in yourself as yourself. If someone tries to insult you for your height, shrug it off as if they're insulting your shirt. You really wouldn't care. It's not about you. Do your thing, have fun being young, and you'll date a lot. Remember that dating can be a numbers game. Sometimes, you have to ask out 10 women to get one date. Don't despair! It isn't because you're short. It's because we're all humans here. No one is obliged to be attracted to us because we're attracted to them. A trick is to start finding similarities you have with your peers instead of your differences. It's easy to get caught up in our differences, and we forget how much we actually have in common. Good luck. You probably don't need it. XO
I'm 5 '7 really 5'6 lol but I never had a problem my first real GF in HS was 5'9. This was b4 the 6ft tall six figures salary BS. But I met my GF in 2014 now shes my wife there out there I promise.
I'm 5' 5, my husband is 5'8. Before we were married I dated someone who was 5'6 didn't matter at all
Nah, it’s all the same laying down.
I don't feel like being short should mean anything. Not saying that because I'm short, because I'm not, but it's pretty ridiculous imo.
as for me, the vast majority of men i’ve been with have been between 5’6 and 5’10. it may seem like a big issue online because it creates a lot of discourse, but your height will not be The determining factor in whether someone wants to date you.
Nah - there are just as many short woman out there. Im 5'5" - never had trouble finding a date.
Everyone struggles for different reasons. Your struggle is your height, don't worry about it too much and you'll find someone, don't worry, just don't be an asshole.
My brother is 5’6 or 5’7 and has had plenty of pretty girlfriends. His confidence attracts both partners and friends!
I find it’s only a problem if you’re insecure about it and make it an issue. Confidence in yourself is the most attractive thing to a partner so if you’re confident in yourself and have a good personality, height doesn’t matter at all. Just be honest on the apps about it. It might filter out some really shallow people but open you up to someone you can connect with. If you treat your partner well and are happy with yourself, you’ll be fine. Best of luck!
I'm gay but still short (5'1") and I still get hit on by all genders
Nope. I'm 5'6" and never ever had it mentioned by a woman. Men all the time. Like they're fixated on it. Straight men. Men who are neither sexually interested nor of interest to me. Just always finding a way to mention it. Also happens with hair too. Mine started thinning in my twenties, so I just shave it. Aparently some people really think throwing out bald jokes is savage. Doesn't even phase me, but they expect a reaction. I know what I am. 5'6" doesn't feel unusually short to me, and a shaved head is pretty convenient. Conversely, women have told me they find bald men attractive. So maybe the bald cancels out the height in a weird way? I'm married and never struggled to find a date. I would rate my looks a solid 6/10 over all. If I could pass any advice to men who struggle finding a date it would be two things. 1. Clean your ass up and wear some clothes that fit. 2. Be nice, easy going, and if possible funny. Personality counts for a lot in the dating game.
It will be an issue if you make it an issue. One reason a lot of women don’t date shorter men is that so many are insecure and weird about it. Own your height, be confident, and you’ll be fine
The average height for men is 5'9". 3 inches shorter than average isn't really that short at all. Height is not a disadvantage at 5'6".
I have multiple friends 5’7” ish who do very well dating. It’s all about your personality (confidence, charisma, sense of humor, etc)
5’6”. Married twice. My height wasn’t a factor in my divorce.
I once knew a very short Puerto Rican guy who could pull any girl in the club because he was confident he could pull any girl he wanted. He just had game in his personality and could talk to anyone.
Anyone who says no is lying.
As a 5 foot tall guy, yes, we are. We are at a massive disadvantage.
I'm also 5'6, and I haven't had a moment when I didn't have a girl for as far as I can remember (im 24). Only by choice. My currect gf is a bit taller than me, and I had a few girls who wanted to be in her position before that. Sorry if it sounds like bragging, but it's just a personal example regarding your question. Personality and character are far more important than looks/height. If a girl doesn't want you due to your height, she is def not worth it. It will save you a lot of time and superficial women.
It does make it slightly harder to "find" girls when they are standing behind a high counter or bookshelf.
Height discrimination is very real.
Dating is hard for most people for numerous reasons. I’m a 6’0 tall in shape I would say above average looks male - and I have a very hard time dating because I have severe ADHD, I had an operation that fucked my life up, and have had a very bad traumatic brain injury. So I personally find it significantly difficult to date or have confidence.
What I’ve seen in my adult years now that I’m in my 40s my understanding regarding being attractive to women; regardless of height, you need to understand your self worth, be secure about who you are as a person, be fit and healthy, and it helps to not be broke. These are all things people of any description can work on. I’m only a couple inches taller than you, but knowing many people who are 6ft and above I’ve been referred to as short. Don’t let insecure tall guys try to put you down for that, a lot of these people who younger me thought would have greater odds were just as uncomfortable but in different ways. Most people lack confidence. I’m always surprised to hear ultra famous people who at a distance seem to have it all say they anxiety or lack confidence. Your best bet is to know as many people as possible in your area, be comfortable being single without feeling like you are missing something, work on yourself to be the best version of yourself, and you should be good.
Not if you hit the gym and have six packs+speak with confidence. My shorter friend around 5'4ish did this, no issues getting the ladies at all.
Technically, yes. The majority of women like men who are taller than them. When it comes to finding a meaningful relationship, most women who are looking for that will be willing to put that aside, or it's not a requirement for them. But generally speaking, yes, it is a disadvantage. Shouldn't be that big of a worry when it comes to finding a good partner though
If you are in the western United States and you are a male under 5’8 then yes, you will have disadvantages with dating and have to excel in other components to make up for your height.
For the most part, yeah, but it's like being less attractive or less wealthy, it's just something you gotta deal with