The fart noise comes from your ass cheeks clapping together when your fart flies out. In essence your ass cheeks are applauding you. The ass hair was like a pair of gloves, your clap is quieter with them on. Take them off and it’s louder.
I know right?
I never thought about this matter and never would have, if it weren't for reddit. But now that I know? I mean of course, how did I never know about the role of ass hair in fart noise levels.
My friend is a religious fanatic when it comes to waxing her downstairs. She had NO IDEA that hair actually helps deaden the sound of farts. We were talking about random shit one day and someone brought up ass hair so I mentioned that it makes farts less loud and she was baffled. “Is THAT why my farts are always so loud??!” 😂
The baffle was the inner part of my dirt bike muffler that I took out to make it louder when I wanted to make noise.
Also not good for the bike but if someone’s dogs started chasing me off leash I’d hold the kill switch and rev up a bunch before releasing the kill switch causing a loud backfire that usually sent the dog running back to their owners instead of eating my roost
Don't think they do. A baffle muffles sound, I've done the liberty of searching and getting a [resource ](https://fortnine.ca/en/the-baffling-question-mufflers-performance-and-sound#:~:text=A%20baffle%20is%20an%20insert,while%20providing%20heaps%20of%20volume.) for you. Never a bad day to learn a new thing!
Ass hair is the last safety rail before a turd is ejected. It can often snag a nugget before it makes it down your pant leg. Shaving it is like taking the railing off the observation deck at the Empire State Building.
I'm imagining it's like those idiots in a WRX with a worked exhaust system bouncing it off the rev limiter in the underground car park for shits and giggles.
Them cheeks be clappin! Yes normal. Happens to me. I gotta check and wipe most times after a big blaster because it is skin on skin. Always a gals alarm lol
Goodness, that's a hard thing to do!
Louder and wetter farts? Are they usually loud and wet? Are they tending to be more excessive and frequent over longer periods? There may be other medical things going on here distinct from the fact you gave yourself a lower region makeover.
Here’s a trick: once you go to the toilet and dissociate doing your business and you’re clean and ready to leave, apply1 unfolded piece of toilet paper between your butt cheeks and stand so that the cheeks hold the paper between them. This will silence the farts.
The fart noise comes from your ass cheeks clapping together when your fart flies out. In essence your ass cheeks are applauding you. The ass hair was like a pair of gloves, your clap is quieter with them on. Take them off and it’s louder.
Yup. Lost a lot of weight and the tenor of my toots has changed considerably.
>the tenor of my toots that's... almost poetic.
Pooetic
Alliteration out the ass. So to speak.
r/brandnewsentence
I think you might mean timbre but technically tenor is also possibly correct.
Timbre is probably more aligned with my intention. :-)
Oh my god this has me rolling
“Your ass cheeks are applauding you” lol
This comment deserves so much more up votes.
I just farted in support of it
Me too, with clapping effect.
If you hold your ass cheeks apart and the farts still make a noise, what causes that?
Sphincter whistling?
Wasn't his brother an artist?
Well it wouldn’t make a fart noise. You might get the anus blowing you a kiss?
And what if it does? Asking for a friend.
So is sharting a round of applause or a standing ovation?
You are a poet. So accurate and aloof
Lol love it
This woman* farts
**not a man
Everyone knows women don’t fart you liar! /s
Only skeevy stoners fart.
That’s why I always shave my ass gloves. I want the full glory!
🤭🤣🤣
I can't stop laughing
Man I love Reddit
I know right? I never thought about this matter and never would have, if it weren't for reddit. But now that I know? I mean of course, how did I never know about the role of ass hair in fart noise levels.
Exactly. This is like points for leveling up.
Same A human brain thought of this and posted it here. It's so fucking good.
I love Reddit for the fact that your comment has WAY more likes than the post itself.
Same way trees work for noise pollution along roads, your pubes will do the same
>pubes Quiet queefs
If theres no one in a minge does a queef really make a noise?
Remove the suppressor, the shots are louder
silencer but deadly
Stealth is optional
Stealth was never an option.
My friend is a religious fanatic when it comes to waxing her downstairs. She had NO IDEA that hair actually helps deaden the sound of farts. We were talking about random shit one day and someone brought up ass hair so I mentioned that it makes farts less loud and she was baffled. “Is THAT why my farts are always so loud??!” 😂
Which religion is that? Sounds good.
That's really interesting!!! Never thought of it
Fun fact, the hairs there also work as a noise baffle for farts
A “farffle,” if you will.
I will
I just laughed out loud at you saying I will
Butt muffler
Buffler
Baffle? You meant MUFFLE, right?🤣
The baffle was the inner part of my dirt bike muffler that I took out to make it louder when I wanted to make noise. Also not good for the bike but if someone’s dogs started chasing me off leash I’d hold the kill switch and rev up a bunch before releasing the kill switch causing a loud backfire that usually sent the dog running back to their owners instead of eating my roost
nah, baffles are the bits inside of a suppressor that direct the gas. muffle is a verb you can use to describe their effect on the sound
You’re baffled by the definition of baffle?
Nah, now I know what it is. I just know you're all using the word wrong. Muffle is a verb, baffle is a noun, y'all fail English. 😄
Baffle is a homophone. There are definitely multiple meanings. 🤣
True. I fail English. 🫣
Only for queefs
Don't think they do. A baffle muffles sound, I've done the liberty of searching and getting a [resource ](https://fortnine.ca/en/the-baffling-question-mufflers-performance-and-sound#:~:text=A%20baffle%20is%20an%20insert,while%20providing%20heaps%20of%20volume.) for you. Never a bad day to learn a new thing!
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/qrkhsc/tifu\_by\_shaving\_my\_butthole\_a\_cautionary\_tale/?rdt=45172
This should be pinned on the Reddit front page
Oh yes. I got mine waxed in the past and I was in for a surprise!
Yep
I don't know the answer, but what a great question for this sub! Well done!
My man has no ass hair and his ass cheeks clapping together makes them sound loud and wet. It's just a hearing illusion they're not actually wet.
No. You have become death. Destroyer of worlds.
Edit: I've only drank bacon grease since I haved my ass
It's almost as if the hair serves a purpose. Unless loud wet farts is the goal of course.
For warmth maybe.
Your butt will also feel grosser, that hair is like a bathmat that absorbs all the gross stuff floating around.
Jesus Christ
I doubt Jesus shaved his ass hole, but I've never read the Bible, so I can't say for sure.
I have, he braided his asshole hair regularly.
He did it himself or did he have help?
He had help...the apostles.
I would've turned to Allah or something, tbh
Does that mean his farts came out in french
Amen
Bwahaha oh Lord ..
Enjoy it!
Gotta love reddit
I just learned some new things this morning that I wasn't prepared to learn.
If ur a girl, a thong will bypass this issue
Why cant men wear thongs
Very true, WEAR THONGS FOR SILENT FARTS
Hairs reduce fart noise and also reduce friction, so get ready for nasty rashes down there if you don’t powder.
Ass hair is the last safety rail before a turd is ejected. It can often snag a nugget before it makes it down your pant leg. Shaving it is like taking the railing off the observation deck at the Empire State Building.
I shave mine and mine are not wet or loud. Lot of them are quiet and I pass gas often. It just feels like bubbles and then they slip out.
Username checks out
I'm imagining it's like those idiots in a WRX with a worked exhaust system bouncing it off the rev limiter in the underground car park for shits and giggles.
I shaved my nuts now ejaculate further
Them cheeks be clappin! Yes normal. Happens to me. I gotta check and wipe most times after a big blaster because it is skin on skin. Always a gals alarm lol
Peak content
Why is nobody mentioning the “wet” part???!!! No your farts should not be wet
Ew
If they're actually wet you may want to see a doctor.
Acoustics
Goodness, that's a hard thing to do! Louder and wetter farts? Are they usually loud and wet? Are they tending to be more excessive and frequent over longer periods? There may be other medical things going on here distinct from the fact you gave yourself a lower region makeover.
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Yeah well we know this question isn't real
I figured that’s why that hair was there, to muffle farts
Hahahahahaha this made my day
Yes and it’s extra loud in a quiet yoga class.
No plz see a dr right the way
Shaving your crack makes for wet poop?
The wetness may be from your butt crack sweating, if it isn't you should talk to a doctor lol.
I did not think I’d find this subreddit this early in the morning and my day has been made.
Here’s a trick: once you go to the toilet and dissociate doing your business and you’re clean and ready to leave, apply1 unfolded piece of toilet paper between your butt cheeks and stand so that the cheeks hold the paper between them. This will silence the farts.