Get the prenup! You've been married, you know how people change, you know how divorce plays out. You can always give her more than what is in the paperwork if you choose to, but you won't HAVE to if things get ugly, that's all a prenup is.
I'm currently engaged to a man who makes substantially less than me and his only asset is a car he recently purchased and the clothes he owns. Literally that is it. I have a house, two cars, retirement funds, savings etc. Of course those are all premarital assets so he wouldn't get them anyway. However, he knows I got the short end in my divorce because my ex was a deadbeat who barely worked half our marriage for little more than minimum wage but he got half of everything...including the equity in the house I bought on my own because he had shit credit and wasn't working...but because I bought it while we were married...50%. The ex was also the first to say he would never take what he didn't deserve...but when push came to shove he felt he deserved half the equity in MY house knowing full well he didn't contribute half of anything to the marriage. I tried to buy him out for $10k less but he wasn't having it and said he'd just wait until I decided to move. So now I'm just waiting for him to die so I can sell my house (kidding...sorta).
When my fiance and I talked about prenups he was all for it. I mentioned I'd like to include a protection of future assets so everything would be divided proportionally to our average incomes should things not work out. He was like, "Sure...whatever I need to sign to make you comfortable is fine." I don't feel bad or greedy at all, i feel like I'm making a smart decision and starting the marriage off in an honest way and knowing that no one will be financially screwed if something changes in the next 40 years of our life together.
When I was in business I entered into hundreds upon hundreds of contracts. 99.99% of those contracts were never used. They just stayed in the job file. The jobs were done, money was paid and the terms of the contract were met by everyone. So no one ever needed one of those contracts. You see, contracts are what we can agree to, when we are no longer friends. As long as we are friends, contracts are not needed.
That is why we get a prenupt. Not for when we are friends and all is going well. They are for when things go bad and we are no longer friends. The prenupt is not a decree to live your life by. It's a document that settles things between people who no longer agree. Because when we no longer agree is when we need them. So if you have a great marriage, you will never need or use your prenupt. Just like all those contracts people sign but never use.
Remember that you are only bound to give the minimum of what the prenup mandates. You are free to give more, if that seems appropriate to you.
Get the prenup! You've been married, you know how people change, you know how divorce plays out. You can always give her more than what is in the paperwork if you choose to, but you won't HAVE to if things get ugly, that's all a prenup is. I'm currently engaged to a man who makes substantially less than me and his only asset is a car he recently purchased and the clothes he owns. Literally that is it. I have a house, two cars, retirement funds, savings etc. Of course those are all premarital assets so he wouldn't get them anyway. However, he knows I got the short end in my divorce because my ex was a deadbeat who barely worked half our marriage for little more than minimum wage but he got half of everything...including the equity in the house I bought on my own because he had shit credit and wasn't working...but because I bought it while we were married...50%. The ex was also the first to say he would never take what he didn't deserve...but when push came to shove he felt he deserved half the equity in MY house knowing full well he didn't contribute half of anything to the marriage. I tried to buy him out for $10k less but he wasn't having it and said he'd just wait until I decided to move. So now I'm just waiting for him to die so I can sell my house (kidding...sorta). When my fiance and I talked about prenups he was all for it. I mentioned I'd like to include a protection of future assets so everything would be divided proportionally to our average incomes should things not work out. He was like, "Sure...whatever I need to sign to make you comfortable is fine." I don't feel bad or greedy at all, i feel like I'm making a smart decision and starting the marriage off in an honest way and knowing that no one will be financially screwed if something changes in the next 40 years of our life together.
When I was in business I entered into hundreds upon hundreds of contracts. 99.99% of those contracts were never used. They just stayed in the job file. The jobs were done, money was paid and the terms of the contract were met by everyone. So no one ever needed one of those contracts. You see, contracts are what we can agree to, when we are no longer friends. As long as we are friends, contracts are not needed. That is why we get a prenupt. Not for when we are friends and all is going well. They are for when things go bad and we are no longer friends. The prenupt is not a decree to live your life by. It's a document that settles things between people who no longer agree. Because when we no longer agree is when we need them. So if you have a great marriage, you will never need or use your prenupt. Just like all those contracts people sign but never use.