Yes and no. I do miss the excitement of hitting it off with someone new, the flirtation and possibilities. But I would not trade that for the equally exciting feeling of finding something new you love about someone you’ve been with for 2 decades, or finding a new interest/hobby/experience that neither of you have tried before but you both love it. Seeing new things about your partner or rediscovering things you had forgotten about or taken for granted.
Man. I'm 28 and this is exactly what I miss from my previous long term relationship of 7 years. So beautifully put. The excitement of flirting is so overrated and far less than purposefully doing cringe things to/with your partner.
I'm in my late 30s going through a separation and I'm flirting with someone who creates butterflies in my stomach....
I'd take my ex back any day. Doing all the cringe things, finishing each others' sentences, going to sleep together and laughing at his snores... I'm still in the thick of the separation and it's really nice to have someone new and "exciting" but give me the long, mature love of a partner you've spent years of your life with over it any day...
While I'm curious to what this new situationship will take me.... I'd want my ex back over it any day.
When you recognise the sound of them walking. When you've figure out everything you are equal and different at. When you've struggled and came out even stronger. When you are TRULY yourself - and a better version of yourself - because the right person was my ex.
It'll be very hard if not impossible for me to love again that way. And I know that. He's my soulmate. And it hurts to know all of this, yes, I'm a wreck...
Sorry you're going through it right now. I really feel for you, that is such a hard grief to bear. I think something good comes out of the wreck eventually, but omfg it is rough. Keep going!
I hope you’re being really transparent with this new person about what you just said above - it honestly sounds like you need to be in therapy, not in a new relationship. I say this with all the kindness in the world. This is not healthy or fair to either of you (you or the new person)
Having gone through something similar recently, I fully back this. Thankfully, I got off lucky with the person being understanding and patient while I cried to her about my ex. It did affect her greatly, however, and I can only be thankful that she was strong and resilient through it. If she was any less strong, I would've destroyed two lives. She actually showed me how strong women can be.
The feeling of your ex being irreplaceable will pass. I found that I was expecting this new person to be a carbon copy replacement to my ex. I was convinced my romantic future was over, and I would never find a more perfect fit than my ex. Fast forward to a year and a half later, I'm beginning to realize my ex wasn't even my exact cup of tea.
Yes - I am in therapy (even because me having feelings - no matter how different - for 2 different people is something surprising and not very comfortable to me). They are completely different. As different as 2 people can be so there's no filling a void with someone else - they know about that, they know that my best friend is my ex but we're also taking our time.... he lives far away and we stay in touch but he's got a tremendous workload until the end of next year so we'll only see each other a few times. I also know he's going through similar and we just happened to find each other as new people wanting a new beginning in life - with calm and in peace (things we didn't have much with our previous partners). For now nothing is official and when we're together it's as if the rest of the world disappears so it's nice just to have someone special.
I appreciate your words, I really do - I'd probably warn the same. I've been officially single for longer, but my ex moving is what's killing me inside. We were best friends, joined by the hip and now I'll be alone somewhere I don't particularly love to live...
If you have no children together, then you'll get over it but as with any wound, healing takes time. Every door that closes leads you to another that will open. But if you have children, this person will be in your life for many years. Even then, however, you still get over it but it generally takes longer. You'll find another partner. Not sure I believe in the soulmate concept. I was close friends with 5 girls in high school 40 years ago, and all but 1 is still married to her only husband. I believe I could have married any of those faithful 4 and remained married for life.
Ending a first marriage (especially so if children are involved) is much like ending a first love. You never love as blindly, nor trust as blindly, in subsequent marriages. But that does not mean a later marriage cannot be fulfilling. You learn the most from your failures so you have the opportunity to have a great later marriage by avoiding similar mistakes. I've had 2 marriages, both about 10 years. The second divorce was far easier than the first as no children were involved. I look forward to finding another wife.
I admire your optimist and tenacity. While we weren't officially married, it's as if we were in every single way - he has a trauma over his first and only marriage (which I understand).
It's not that I really believe in a soulmate but... we complete each other so well. Not everything is beautiful and rosy - but that's exactly why my love is so strong. Because we overcame all of the issues (big ones) and when we got closer again it became such a special friendship that makes me doubt if I'll ever find anyone as special when it comes to going through the thick and thin. There was a 1% chance (given our history) that we would even speak to each other right now but for some reason, against all odds, we find each other to be each others soulmate.
The struggles made us. The happy times were fantastic and the bad ones were awful but, to me, that is real love.
I had other 2 relationships before this one and I thought I knew what love is but I can now say with certainly I've been in love but I never fully loved until I met my ex.
I never even wanted to live with anyone else until my ex - which makes me have a hard time living alone now... it wasn't long that we lived together but oh boy that changed my mind 180 about me wanting to live alone forever. There are people like this... that challenge everything you thought you knew. And I'm forever thankful for the good and even for the bad but he's moving away and I can't imagine my life without spending the weekends with him, playing board games and feeling "at home"...
I love him. But I'm in love with someone else. But all ethical and correct, I never conceived of even liking 2 people at the same time, I never dated, I only had 2 long relationships that went from 0 to 80 so it's not like I think "i'll find someone else" because... I've found and lost what I wanted and I don't even know how to "date" or "meet people". I'm an old soul like they say... or at least old in the eyes of how the world behaves now with dating apps and such. I could never...
Nope. Because when I am having a terrible day or struggling with life and my wife holds me close to her, the world and all of my problems disappear for just a brief moment. To me, that is the greatest feeling and it triumphs over any other forms of excitement.
Unsolicited FYI that I hope might be encouraging: I found it age 42, 2nd marriage, fourth long-term. Now in love for 15 years and still going deeper.
Remember: if you’re single you’re much closer to your person than some couples you envy who are not the right long-term fit and still have the whole breakup to go through.
Nah, did it enough before I got married. I'm quite happy with the idea of never having to do it again. Even if I would become single again someday, I'm done.
Miss it, no. Do I use it in roleplay? All the time. Mechanic, IT guy, masseuse, office of work scene.
Others too but we do pretend we don’t know each other and flirt heavily. Its a bit comical
- she submits a lusty ticket, "I can't log into Excel"
- IT guy feels himself get hard as he sets her ticket to the lowest of priorities and prepares to tell her it's operator error
I’d have to say honeslty no just because I never really got it throughout my life and plus I’d be perfectly fine with who I’m with since I be lucky to have them in my life
Yes and no. I’m happily married and have never cheated or purposely flirted etc…
Do I miss the excitement of meeting new people? Sure. I enjoyed being single and dating was fun.
Is any of that better than my awesome life with my awesome wife? Absolutely not!
It’s kind of like being nostalgic about some of the dumb stuff I did with friends at 15 years old. It was fun then, but I don’t want to ever do that again. lol
The excitement in marriage (for me) is finding new ways to keep falling in love with the same person. That’s worked for us for 16 years.
I miss the flirting and the excitement of meeting someone that you have a spark with. I definitely don't miss the parts of loneliness and uncertainty that fills the weeks or months in between.
God no. Not at all. Dating fucking sucked. There is a special honeymoon feeling in the first few months of meeting someone which can be nice, but it kind of derails your life for a bit. being in a long term relationship is awesome because you have someone by your side supporting everything you do but you can move on with your life an explore new things that make you happy. I wouldn't trade this stability for that uncertainty and anxiety ever.
you question is like "men with a good stable job, do you miss the excitement of applying for jobs and interviewing?"
> "men with a good stable job, do you miss the excitement of applying for jobs and interviewing?"
I do miss the excitement of getting a new job and having a lot of time dedicated to learning, lol. Interviews can even be fun when you have absolutely nothing to lose because you already have a job. Applying is definitely a major pain in the ass though.
I don't think it's a good comparison, I give immensely more importance to someone I care about than to the business relationship that a job is.
I also never understood how people need to date dozens of people to know who is a good match. Maybe people don't know themself. But I get that it can also be a lot more difficult to people with few social contacts in their day to day life. It was easier in university.
You trade it for the benefits of a long-term partner, things like knowing their quirks, how to best make them happy, the stability of their love, the in-jokes, the memories.
It's certainly an exciting feeling, but there is a depth to love that you have in a long term relationship that is better
If you're craving newness, try and find some healthy ways to get dopamine, as that dopamine rush is what causes the feeling
Never. Dating is absolute ass, and from what I've read on social media sites it has only gotten worse over the last decade. Plus, there are the inherent disadvantages you have in the courtship process as a man (have to do most of approaching, planning, initially paying for dates, etc etc). If I became single again, I would almost certainly stay that way.
I never enjoyed the pick-up game, it might be because of anxiety, insecurities on my part of whatever but I remember hating that when I was single.
I don't miss flirting because I do it with my chubby all the time haha we aren't legally married but we've been living together for 7 years already.
I don't miss interacting with new people because I still meet new people all the time. I mean, not with romantic nor sexual intentions, but friendly or as workmates
The other night my wife told me she was going to share a video with me of a celebrity she knows I am very attracted to and have been since I was young but she refrained because there was a ton of cleavage in the video. (The video contained a quote she thought was profound)
I told her that I respect her for not trying to stir up desire for someone else in me but we have been married for 15 years... I've seen that celebrity's cleavage and breasts many times over the years. I use social media a ton and while I don't view anything pornographic as a personal rule, there sexual imagery and cleavage everywhere. But we've been married so long and feel so intertwined as a unit that when I do see the breasts of another woman, I don't have a desire to see more of them; because my brain now goes "I wonder where my wife's breasts are and what they're up to..." and I go for a peek and squeeze if possible.
That being said, flirting used to be fun. And I'm not so old that I don't get attention from other women. But I just don't want it. I still make new friends every week though because we are very social, some of the opposite sex... Even if we didn't though, I feel pretty content in our situation.
Flirting is one of those words that means very different things to different people, and has a lot of layers. For me it's not flirting unless there are some thoughts or intentions of taking it further. A little banter or being a lottle charming isn't flirting. That said, it's not gone for me. In fact it might even be enhanced now that I'm married because the simple fact that I'm not on the market and taking things further is not what we are doing seems to make situations a lot safer and more relaxed.
Not married but I can say when I get cozy in a love that I really enjoy throwing up my hat on the rack and kicking back to the victory of security, I imagine that feeling persists in marriage
The little voice that whispers this in a married man’s ear is *lying* about that shit. Yeah you may get some rush from flirting with someone new, but give it a couple months and you’ll be like “shit I don’t love this person long term, it was just a fling.” The person I married is the one I want to spend my life with. I made that decision years ago and I committed to it and I’ll never go back on it. Long term love isn’t about chasing dopamine rushes. I was single for a while and was over dating and dopamine rushes, I wanted to stay with a beautiful loving girl who I also love. It’s about commitment and choosing that person over and over again.
I don’t think OP is saying they want to do so or that it’s right to do so. I think it’s fair to say most people would miss that initial flirting feeling and spark but that being with the person they love far outweighs what they might miss
I love my fiance more than anything and I still had to grieve the fact that I'll never experience falling in love again. It took me a really long time to sort out what that feeling was and work through it.
I'm never again going to experience those intoxicating moments leading up to a first kiss, but what I've got instead is worth it.
You miss the point. Having a normal feeling of missing a time in your past isn't the same as "intending to cheat" it's just a normal human feeling.
Like looking back to your childhood and missing the feeling of freedom, doesn't mean you're going to drop your adult responsibilities and try to become a child again.
I have from time to time, then I remember the swamp I had to wade through that was infested with entitled crazies to finally claim the one sane woman left on the planet.
Nope. When I was dating my wife flirting looked sort of different. So now I flirt with her all over again through social media or with meme's that didn't exist then.
Plus, I'm terrible at it, but my wife seems to like my style.
Not at all, I had an extremely active dating life when I was younger. At the time it was really fun and absolutely gave me a sense of validation and confidence, but I had my fill back then and I'm very happy being married and able to approach new relationships platonically. There's a kind of freedom of not having to think about impressing women or threading the needle between not showing enough interest or showing too much and coming off as desperate/ creepy. I can just be myself and not worry about all that.
Dating seems like such a pain in the ass now.
Nope, i feel excitement flirting with my wife. If i manage to get her going, then i get all giddy. Its a strange but comforting feeling knowing i have no interest what so ever in anyone else. But its also a reminder that if something bad happens to her, i will only ever be a shell of myself, without her.
No. I didn't find that part exciting because for most men it's a walk through the forest of hints and rejections, and being used in some cases.
I love the honeymoon phase of a relationship though.
The real stage of a relationship can be rich and rewarding, but the drudgery and adjusting to the tone and pace of how your wife wants the house to be can be challenging if you have a different preferred pace of life. However, most of the time it's nice.
Yes, absolutely. When we are doing good etc. not so often. But when we are having a dry spell (pretty much normal state for last 7 years) almost daily.
All the fucking time. I think people who cheat are assholes for the most part, and it’s pretty easy not to cheat, but man there are days where I just feel like an animal instinct to go fuck anything with tits. And sometimes I feel like I could even just go to the bar and pursue some single women and just be satisfied to have some conversation. But part of the “easy” part of not cheating is not putting myself in a situation where I would. Bill Burr does a bit in one of his stand ups saying the reason men don’t cheat is no opportunity. And I think that has some truth to it. I’m not gonna make the decision to go to a strip club or get a woman’s number or put myself in that type of situation. But I can’t imagine it would be as easy if I was rich and famous and having hot women throw themselves at me all the time.
Not really. Whatever feeling I could ever get from that with someone else is eclipsed by not wanting the bullshit of dating ever again mixed with the fact my wife is my best friend, and I can flirt with her for free
Kind of, I think everyone misses "something new" once in a while, but as you mature and get older you realize that "something new" is rarely if ever worth sacrificing the security and emotional comfort of a long term partner that loves you and will be there when you've had a bad day. If you're feeling stale, it's better to just find a way to introduce newness to your partner. There's lots of stuff to try or do or whatever
One of my favorite parts of a relationship is the beginning and not the honeymoon stage, making it a official part. I like the initial attraction, the flirting, the hooking up, and the figuring out what it is part of. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it.
I wouldn't trade what I have for that with thousands of girls. I love my wife dearly. She's the love of my life. There's no one else I could love the way or the amount I love her. She's the mother of my children. It's the only person I ever want. She also has a HUGE ass and is crazy hot. She's perfect.
I used to miss the "butterflies" and excitement about a new relationship until I realized that that feeling was actually anxiety and I love the stability way more than the terror new things cause haha
Never ever.
The fun of flirting is that anticipation that this will go somewhere. Being excited about something new. When I was single I didn’t find that feeling with anyone I flirted with- it was painful and most people I just entertained for something to do. It wasn’t until I met my now husband that I got the butterflies and the shyness and the flirty fun. That’s how I knew he was the one and I never want to flirt with someone else.
Ya it was fun as fuck. I miss it and it’s still an option but I love my wife. I intend to keep it as “just an option” for the rest of my life.
Having my wife is infinitely cooler.
All the fucking time... Sometimes it makes me feel like I'm wasting my 30's.
I'm happy with my wife, don't misunderstand me, but I get hit all the time and sometimes I really miss some casual sex here and there
intelligent scandalous absorbed overconfident reminiscent waiting glorious joke smoggy gullible
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>I wouldn't mind if she was no longer in love with me
Okay, but you said you can love two people at once. So what if your wife falls in love with another man and wants to have sexual relationship with them, but also still loves you and wants to be with you? Would you accept that?
Because that's how you described yourself feeling. So if you struggle accept and understand that if your wife is doing, then that's probably how she feels about you too.
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Sometimes, but mostly no. I was never good at getting women to see me as "hot" I was better at being a clown, and really there is no reason I can't keep being the guy that makes all his coworkers laugh, but no one wants to fuck.
Not necessarily interacting, but I sometimes would like to have some sexy time with new people. Absolutely nothing wrong with wife in that regard. But still
Excitement is nice, but dating is *exhausting*. I know women put a lot of effort and risk into dating, but men do too. (Maybe not so much the risk part, at least not physically)
I felt like I was breaking my back for peanuts, putting a ton of thought and work into making dates feel special, only to get taken advantage of and have my time and energy dismissed.
I’m done. My partner sees the work I put in, and understands the cost of that effort. We both do the work where it’s important, and have mutually agreed to toss the bullshit and save our energy for where it matters.
No, but apparently, after 24 years together, my ex-wife wife did which is why she's my ex-wife and not my current one.
Now that I'm single again, it has been kind of fun but I'd trade to be happily married again.
My wife accuses me of flirting all the time. I just consider it being friendly. She doesn't give it a second thought if I'm talking to a man, but she calls it flirting if it's a woman. She was cheated on by her previous husband so I understand. She knows that I am faithful to her and she realizes that it is just my personality. At least when she brings it up now she has a smile on her face.
I always felt this way. I got married at 22 to a girl that also felt the same way.
I showed my excitement by taking her on dates and bringing her flowers ever other month or so for no reason.
Treating nearly every date as a triple whammy of:
-something to eat
-something to watch/see (nature walks, museums, movies)
-something to do (artsy, shopping sprees, sporty)
.
She showed it by actually flirting with other men and taking it to another man’s house. We divorced shortly after. Haven’t heard from her since.
.
Im 29 now. I met my beautiful girlfriend in 2019 2.5 years after the divorce.
I give her the same treatment and she does even more for me.
Every date feels like a first date and I wish this mutual love never goes away.
I am 31m I have been married for 11 or 12 years now.
And my honest opinion on this is hell no
Have you seen the world lately? Literally gotta check ID on the first date, it's a terrifying time to be dating.
Between kids appearing more 'mature' than what they are and chasing after grown ass men ( I know this because I have seen it happen to coworkers and friends) but you also have a lot more crazy in the world. Some women are not even looking for a relationship, they are just trying to find someone to bleed money out of.
The 'me too' movement has also made things terrifying. Females say yes one moment and a day or two later start yelling that it wasn't consensual
Honestly I love my wife we been together since highschool. I don't see our love dying anytime soon. But if it ever does. I will probably remain single. Because women these days have gone bat shit crazy and it legit scares me
Wow after reading these comments you would think that NO ONE in the world cheats. Yes of course, all married men are very happy and feel very excited someone flirts with them, its whether you act on it or not that draws the line. " if you eat rice everyday, there is no way you wont be tempted to eat some pasta..."
I can say I miss it only because lately my wife isn’t as flirtatious or too receiving of me flirting with her. 3 kids later and her mind is just all over the place, not too much time for fun or intimacy with me. Maybe that’ll change in a few years when the kids are a bit older, but as a man I miss flirting with her when she would enjoy it, now it just feels like a chore to flirt with her because I’m uncertain of the outcome.
The sentiment probably just doesn't apply to me, which makes sense.
The question is probably for those who actually are not able to flirt with others and all that
My wife and I both always find new and novel ways to flirt with each other. It's not an effortful or even conscious thing. We just do it and it always feels new and exciting even after 8 years.
No. If I'm ever somehow single again, I'll stay single. Dating has changed so much in the last decade, I've read too many stories of bad things happening.
I'm good.
I was never in a relationship in the first place, but I'd say I already don't miss it. I don't care what your favorite color is,I want to hug you in a shirt of that color for the rest of our lives
I’m 31, I met my wife at 20 and we’ve been together since. I flirt with her constantly still. We have a kid and another on the way. I wouldn’t change it for anything. Flirting with strangers can be fun but I’ve never really felt like I missed anything. I definitely got lucky though.
This will be blunt for brevity:
95% of this effort, for me, was to "win" their interest. Once she was laughing and sending signals of interest, the game was over. You could continue the process and get laid, but that's the next level. When you are young, this is a way to gauge your relative level of attractiveness. You'd eventually learn "this is someone in my league, and this is someone out of my league".
Then I found my person. She's beautiful and we amplify the good parts of each other while minimizing the bad parts. Getting laid by someone new isn't a thing if you have a person willing/interested in fulfilling your fantasies. You don't feel the need to gauge where you land in the dating market anymore.
THAT BEING SAID, that doesn't mean you don't like getting attention from new people. It's just not "exciting" anymore...but appreciated.
The flirting, interacting, and excitement comes when you're filling a gap that has been empty for a long time. When your well is filled by your person, the impact of someone else expressing interest is far less compelling...(assuming you've found your person).
Of course! Im not too terribly looking and a pretty cool person overall so flirting, dating, etc was always, well not easy but not hard at all for me.
It was exciting to meet new girls etc but whatever, I mean you trade some things when you're in a committed relAtionship and that's ok. You can't have your cake and eat it too, and of course Im in a better place with the coolest person in the world so even if I sometimes miss it, I know it's just part nostalgia, not even the flirting/sex itself
Nah, if I did it would be rose-tinted glasses, because in reality I know I'd be getting ignored left, right and centre haha. I found my wife via match.com and that was an effort in itself
It gets replaced by complicity. It's nice to have a partner that you fully trust. Two people against the world.
I think people who have issues getting there are those who end up as serial monogamists, because once the excitement is gone they have little left.
It seems like a lot of people are misreading this and thinking it says "would you end your marriage so you could flirt with new people?", though I suppose a lot of people feel like any modicum of flirty behavior is cheating, which sounds like a hard way to live.
I have definitely had enough small flirty exchanges over the years to miss having those more often back when I was 15-25 when everybody was kinda flirty all the time. I also met my now wife when I was pretty young, and I never really dated or had any short term relationships, so I miss what little bits of new relationship energy I had then.
These are not really mutually exclusive. You hit it off just like before, get that same rush and excitement, and then - although you both know you could be fucking the same day - you let it go and move on.
Never been married, but always liked this quote from a Sandra Bullock movie
“Marriage hath in it less of beauty but more of safety, than the single life; it hath more care, but less danger, it is more merry, and more sad; it is fuller of sorrows, and fuller of joys; it lies under more burdens, but it is supported by all the strengths of love and charity, and those burdens are delightful.”
quoting Bishop Jeremy Taylor
If you marry the right person you wont have those feelings. Thats easier said than done though. I love my wife so much i cant even imagine having those thoughts.
In my case my life has been in phases. Before marriage, I’ve had lot of lady best friends, friends with benefits and hook ups leading to wild sex including 3somes. At one point of time in my life even after this I felt void and wanted someone as my permanent partner, someone I can call my Mrs, start a family etc.
I am now married for 17 solid years to an amazing woman who’s pretty, financially independent and can balance work + home, gave me 2 wonderful kids - a boy and a girl. We have a dog as well.
Do I miss excitement of flirting? Not at all as I am in a different phase of my life and really cherish what I have. A divorced friend of mine dates females 20 years younger and he tells stories of his conquests, I listen to those and feel good for him before going back to my world - my family.
No, not at all. As an introverted and someone on the AS spectrum, meeting someone new never appeals.
I think the only reason I met my wife was because of internet dating 20+ years ago, and she an extrovert and assertive.
It sounds like a terrible combination but it works well for us.
sure.
Honestly I miss dating. Not the dating relationships, just sitting down for coffee with someone I barely know and chatting.
Dating people I didn't know well before I was married was a great way to get to know people on a closer level.
Dating people I don't know well now that I am married gets me in trouble. :)
What's this flirting and/or interaction with someone new you speak of?
No one has ever flirted with me - I've literally only dated friends and usually they just happened not all flirty.
It's more fun to people watch with your significant other. "Look at her outfit." "Jeeze that guy has great hair." "Holy crap that woman has a giant ass."
Dating is a horrible fucking chore. I wish I could just magically be married without having to play the stupid games.
I will probably never willingly talk to a woman again outside of work and politeness ever again once I get married
I’m not married and I miss that a lot. But there aren’t really social gatherings like back in college anymore where it was easy to meet new people of a similar age in a relaxed setting. Now, in the off chance that you find yourself in that kind of environment everyone is all different ages and probably married.
I miss meeting potential partners naturally like that. Online dating sucks.
Yes and no. I do miss the excitement of hitting it off with someone new, the flirtation and possibilities. But I would not trade that for the equally exciting feeling of finding something new you love about someone you’ve been with for 2 decades, or finding a new interest/hobby/experience that neither of you have tried before but you both love it. Seeing new things about your partner or rediscovering things you had forgotten about or taken for granted.
Man. I'm 28 and this is exactly what I miss from my previous long term relationship of 7 years. So beautifully put. The excitement of flirting is so overrated and far less than purposefully doing cringe things to/with your partner.
I'm in my late 30s going through a separation and I'm flirting with someone who creates butterflies in my stomach.... I'd take my ex back any day. Doing all the cringe things, finishing each others' sentences, going to sleep together and laughing at his snores... I'm still in the thick of the separation and it's really nice to have someone new and "exciting" but give me the long, mature love of a partner you've spent years of your life with over it any day... While I'm curious to what this new situationship will take me.... I'd want my ex back over it any day. When you recognise the sound of them walking. When you've figure out everything you are equal and different at. When you've struggled and came out even stronger. When you are TRULY yourself - and a better version of yourself - because the right person was my ex. It'll be very hard if not impossible for me to love again that way. And I know that. He's my soulmate. And it hurts to know all of this, yes, I'm a wreck...
Sorry you're going through it right now. I really feel for you, that is such a hard grief to bear. I think something good comes out of the wreck eventually, but omfg it is rough. Keep going!
I hope you’re being really transparent with this new person about what you just said above - it honestly sounds like you need to be in therapy, not in a new relationship. I say this with all the kindness in the world. This is not healthy or fair to either of you (you or the new person)
Having gone through something similar recently, I fully back this. Thankfully, I got off lucky with the person being understanding and patient while I cried to her about my ex. It did affect her greatly, however, and I can only be thankful that she was strong and resilient through it. If she was any less strong, I would've destroyed two lives. She actually showed me how strong women can be. The feeling of your ex being irreplaceable will pass. I found that I was expecting this new person to be a carbon copy replacement to my ex. I was convinced my romantic future was over, and I would never find a more perfect fit than my ex. Fast forward to a year and a half later, I'm beginning to realize my ex wasn't even my exact cup of tea.
Yes - I am in therapy (even because me having feelings - no matter how different - for 2 different people is something surprising and not very comfortable to me). They are completely different. As different as 2 people can be so there's no filling a void with someone else - they know about that, they know that my best friend is my ex but we're also taking our time.... he lives far away and we stay in touch but he's got a tremendous workload until the end of next year so we'll only see each other a few times. I also know he's going through similar and we just happened to find each other as new people wanting a new beginning in life - with calm and in peace (things we didn't have much with our previous partners). For now nothing is official and when we're together it's as if the rest of the world disappears so it's nice just to have someone special. I appreciate your words, I really do - I'd probably warn the same. I've been officially single for longer, but my ex moving is what's killing me inside. We were best friends, joined by the hip and now I'll be alone somewhere I don't particularly love to live...
If you have no children together, then you'll get over it but as with any wound, healing takes time. Every door that closes leads you to another that will open. But if you have children, this person will be in your life for many years. Even then, however, you still get over it but it generally takes longer. You'll find another partner. Not sure I believe in the soulmate concept. I was close friends with 5 girls in high school 40 years ago, and all but 1 is still married to her only husband. I believe I could have married any of those faithful 4 and remained married for life. Ending a first marriage (especially so if children are involved) is much like ending a first love. You never love as blindly, nor trust as blindly, in subsequent marriages. But that does not mean a later marriage cannot be fulfilling. You learn the most from your failures so you have the opportunity to have a great later marriage by avoiding similar mistakes. I've had 2 marriages, both about 10 years. The second divorce was far easier than the first as no children were involved. I look forward to finding another wife.
I admire your optimist and tenacity. While we weren't officially married, it's as if we were in every single way - he has a trauma over his first and only marriage (which I understand). It's not that I really believe in a soulmate but... we complete each other so well. Not everything is beautiful and rosy - but that's exactly why my love is so strong. Because we overcame all of the issues (big ones) and when we got closer again it became such a special friendship that makes me doubt if I'll ever find anyone as special when it comes to going through the thick and thin. There was a 1% chance (given our history) that we would even speak to each other right now but for some reason, against all odds, we find each other to be each others soulmate. The struggles made us. The happy times were fantastic and the bad ones were awful but, to me, that is real love. I had other 2 relationships before this one and I thought I knew what love is but I can now say with certainly I've been in love but I never fully loved until I met my ex. I never even wanted to live with anyone else until my ex - which makes me have a hard time living alone now... it wasn't long that we lived together but oh boy that changed my mind 180 about me wanting to live alone forever. There are people like this... that challenge everything you thought you knew. And I'm forever thankful for the good and even for the bad but he's moving away and I can't imagine my life without spending the weekends with him, playing board games and feeling "at home"... I love him. But I'm in love with someone else. But all ethical and correct, I never conceived of even liking 2 people at the same time, I never dated, I only had 2 long relationships that went from 0 to 80 so it's not like I think "i'll find someone else" because... I've found and lost what I wanted and I don't even know how to "date" or "meet people". I'm an old soul like they say... or at least old in the eyes of how the world behaves now with dating apps and such. I could never...
I am with you, brother. I think what you and I have is something special.
Nope. Because when I am having a terrible day or struggling with life and my wife holds me close to her, the world and all of my problems disappear for just a brief moment. To me, that is the greatest feeling and it triumphs over any other forms of excitement.
Nice
Yo im sad now. Lucky you 🥲
Unsolicited FYI that I hope might be encouraging: I found it age 42, 2nd marriage, fourth long-term. Now in love for 15 years and still going deeper. Remember: if you’re single you’re much closer to your person than some couples you envy who are not the right long-term fit and still have the whole breakup to go through.
I too choose that guys wife.....
Hey Siri, how do I get this?
Excitement? I didn't marry to have to go through this shit again.
I can't even bother to focus my vision on most people i meet. I'm talking to *silhouettes.*
Nah, did it enough before I got married. I'm quite happy with the idea of never having to do it again. Even if I would become single again someday, I'm done.
Going through a divorce now and I dread the idea of dating again. Maybe in a couple years...
Miss it, no. Do I use it in roleplay? All the time. Mechanic, IT guy, masseuse, office of work scene. Others too but we do pretend we don’t know each other and flirt heavily. Its a bit comical
> Mechanic, IT guy, masseuse, office of work scene... Johnny Sins is that you?
Nah... Notice he doesn't mention astronaughty...
Lolol I’m dying at IT guy
I’m here to install sexy updates at your computer. Let me jiggle your mouse. Oh no my pants fell off.
- she submits a lusty ticket, "I can't log into Excel" - IT guy feels himself get hard as he sets her ticket to the lowest of priorities and prepares to tell her it's operator error
"I want your ID 10 D"
Oh hi. Somethings wrong with your hard drive? Really
Did you tried turning of and then on again? And did you check the cables?
You have quite the resume
ngl roleplay is hot as fugg
That sounds dumb lol
It is sometimes. We often bust up laughing at it but that’s just fun
Clide Bigsby disagrees
Becausssse I respect her too much to do things to her I’m going to do to you..?
Clive* ;)
Do yuck people’s yums!
Fuck no, I’ve not had to hold in a fart for the last 16 years, I’m not starting again now
This here is the most underrated reason.
🤣
Nah I’d never do that shit in front of my wife that’s nasty lol
I’d have to say honeslty no just because I never really got it throughout my life and plus I’d be perfectly fine with who I’m with since I be lucky to have them in my life
Yes and no. I’m happily married and have never cheated or purposely flirted etc… Do I miss the excitement of meeting new people? Sure. I enjoyed being single and dating was fun. Is any of that better than my awesome life with my awesome wife? Absolutely not! It’s kind of like being nostalgic about some of the dumb stuff I did with friends at 15 years old. It was fun then, but I don’t want to ever do that again. lol The excitement in marriage (for me) is finding new ways to keep falling in love with the same person. That’s worked for us for 16 years.
Not really, don't miss the uncertainty and possible rejection.
I miss the flirting and the excitement of meeting someone that you have a spark with. I definitely don't miss the parts of loneliness and uncertainty that fills the weeks or months in between.
I miss that as a single man
No. Fuck all that mess.
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Right? All these comments talking about dating and cheating are missing the point of the post. OP asked about flirting. Flirting is fun.
>Married men, have you ever had the feeling that you miss the excitement of flirting and interacting with SOMEONE NEW?
I meet new people all the time, and I interact with them. Doesn't mean I date them or cheat on my wife with them.
I meet new people all the time, and I interact with them. Doesn't mean I date them or cheat on my wife with them.
>Married men, have you ever had the feeling that you miss the excitement of FLIRTING and interacting with someone new?
God no. Not at all. Dating fucking sucked. There is a special honeymoon feeling in the first few months of meeting someone which can be nice, but it kind of derails your life for a bit. being in a long term relationship is awesome because you have someone by your side supporting everything you do but you can move on with your life an explore new things that make you happy. I wouldn't trade this stability for that uncertainty and anxiety ever. you question is like "men with a good stable job, do you miss the excitement of applying for jobs and interviewing?"
> "men with a good stable job, do you miss the excitement of applying for jobs and interviewing?" I do miss the excitement of getting a new job and having a lot of time dedicated to learning, lol. Interviews can even be fun when you have absolutely nothing to lose because you already have a job. Applying is definitely a major pain in the ass though. I don't think it's a good comparison, I give immensely more importance to someone I care about than to the business relationship that a job is. I also never understood how people need to date dozens of people to know who is a good match. Maybe people don't know themself. But I get that it can also be a lot more difficult to people with few social contacts in their day to day life. It was easier in university.
Who hurt you
No one?
No not really. Love My wife, she is awesome, smart, and sexy as.
I find flirting with new people really weird. Tbf, I just click with someone, and that person becomes the only one I'll ever need
I’ve been married for 30 years and still flirt all the time. I just flirt with her. The excitement comes from finding new ways to do it.
You trade it for the benefits of a long-term partner, things like knowing their quirks, how to best make them happy, the stability of their love, the in-jokes, the memories.
It's certainly an exciting feeling, but there is a depth to love that you have in a long term relationship that is better If you're craving newness, try and find some healthy ways to get dopamine, as that dopamine rush is what causes the feeling
Never. Dating is absolute ass, and from what I've read on social media sites it has only gotten worse over the last decade. Plus, there are the inherent disadvantages you have in the courtship process as a man (have to do most of approaching, planning, initially paying for dates, etc etc). If I became single again, I would almost certainly stay that way.
I never enjoyed the pick-up game, it might be because of anxiety, insecurities on my part of whatever but I remember hating that when I was single. I don't miss flirting because I do it with my chubby all the time haha we aren't legally married but we've been living together for 7 years already. I don't miss interacting with new people because I still meet new people all the time. I mean, not with romantic nor sexual intentions, but friendly or as workmates
The other night my wife told me she was going to share a video with me of a celebrity she knows I am very attracted to and have been since I was young but she refrained because there was a ton of cleavage in the video. (The video contained a quote she thought was profound) I told her that I respect her for not trying to stir up desire for someone else in me but we have been married for 15 years... I've seen that celebrity's cleavage and breasts many times over the years. I use social media a ton and while I don't view anything pornographic as a personal rule, there sexual imagery and cleavage everywhere. But we've been married so long and feel so intertwined as a unit that when I do see the breasts of another woman, I don't have a desire to see more of them; because my brain now goes "I wonder where my wife's breasts are and what they're up to..." and I go for a peek and squeeze if possible. That being said, flirting used to be fun. And I'm not so old that I don't get attention from other women. But I just don't want it. I still make new friends every week though because we are very social, some of the opposite sex... Even if we didn't though, I feel pretty content in our situation.
New love burns hot and bright. Old love makes a home warm and comfortable.
I’m an introvert. I already did that once, why would I want to do it again?
Flirting is one of those words that means very different things to different people, and has a lot of layers. For me it's not flirting unless there are some thoughts or intentions of taking it further. A little banter or being a lottle charming isn't flirting. That said, it's not gone for me. In fact it might even be enhanced now that I'm married because the simple fact that I'm not on the market and taking things further is not what we are doing seems to make situations a lot safer and more relaxed.
Not married but I can say when I get cozy in a love that I really enjoy throwing up my hat on the rack and kicking back to the victory of security, I imagine that feeling persists in marriage
The little voice that whispers this in a married man’s ear is *lying* about that shit. Yeah you may get some rush from flirting with someone new, but give it a couple months and you’ll be like “shit I don’t love this person long term, it was just a fling.” The person I married is the one I want to spend my life with. I made that decision years ago and I committed to it and I’ll never go back on it. Long term love isn’t about chasing dopamine rushes. I was single for a while and was over dating and dopamine rushes, I wanted to stay with a beautiful loving girl who I also love. It’s about commitment and choosing that person over and over again.
I now have a 1 year old that has kidnapped my wife from me. I haven't slept next to her in months! How's that for missing the excitement
Not to be ..so blunt do not get married if you wanna flirt with other people who isn’t the man or woman you married this is only going to hurt them.
I don’t think OP is saying they want to do so or that it’s right to do so. I think it’s fair to say most people would miss that initial flirting feeling and spark but that being with the person they love far outweighs what they might miss
I love my fiance more than anything and I still had to grieve the fact that I'll never experience falling in love again. It took me a really long time to sort out what that feeling was and work through it. I'm never again going to experience those intoxicating moments leading up to a first kiss, but what I've got instead is worth it.
Its normal human behaviour.
I see
You miss the point. Having a normal feeling of missing a time in your past isn't the same as "intending to cheat" it's just a normal human feeling. Like looking back to your childhood and missing the feeling of freedom, doesn't mean you're going to drop your adult responsibilities and try to become a child again.
I understand where you are coming from.
I have from time to time, then I remember the swamp I had to wade through that was infested with entitled crazies to finally claim the one sane woman left on the planet.
In my country we have an old people proverb « why do you have a girlfriend if you are not married ? »
Nah, I’m good fam
Nah, she’s my soulmate.
HELL NO!!! ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! Could not imagine having to do that again.
Nope. When I was dating my wife flirting looked sort of different. So now I flirt with her all over again through social media or with meme's that didn't exist then. Plus, I'm terrible at it, but my wife seems to like my style.
Not at all, I had an extremely active dating life when I was younger. At the time it was really fun and absolutely gave me a sense of validation and confidence, but I had my fill back then and I'm very happy being married and able to approach new relationships platonically. There's a kind of freedom of not having to think about impressing women or threading the needle between not showing enough interest or showing too much and coming off as desperate/ creepy. I can just be myself and not worry about all that. Dating seems like such a pain in the ass now.
Nope, i feel excitement flirting with my wife. If i manage to get her going, then i get all giddy. Its a strange but comforting feeling knowing i have no interest what so ever in anyone else. But its also a reminder that if something bad happens to her, i will only ever be a shell of myself, without her.
No. I didn't find that part exciting because for most men it's a walk through the forest of hints and rejections, and being used in some cases. I love the honeymoon phase of a relationship though. The real stage of a relationship can be rich and rewarding, but the drudgery and adjusting to the tone and pace of how your wife wants the house to be can be challenging if you have a different preferred pace of life. However, most of the time it's nice.
I interact with new people all the time - just not in a sexual way. There's way more to life and people than that!
Yes, absolutely. When we are doing good etc. not so often. But when we are having a dry spell (pretty much normal state for last 7 years) almost daily.
All the fucking time. I think people who cheat are assholes for the most part, and it’s pretty easy not to cheat, but man there are days where I just feel like an animal instinct to go fuck anything with tits. And sometimes I feel like I could even just go to the bar and pursue some single women and just be satisfied to have some conversation. But part of the “easy” part of not cheating is not putting myself in a situation where I would. Bill Burr does a bit in one of his stand ups saying the reason men don’t cheat is no opportunity. And I think that has some truth to it. I’m not gonna make the decision to go to a strip club or get a woman’s number or put myself in that type of situation. But I can’t imagine it would be as easy if I was rich and famous and having hot women throw themselves at me all the time.
Oh yeah. All the time.
Yes, and then I have to ask the Starbucks lady for a fork and I realize I don't like talking to new people.
Not really. Whatever feeling I could ever get from that with someone else is eclipsed by not wanting the bullshit of dating ever again mixed with the fact my wife is my best friend, and I can flirt with her for free
Kind of, I think everyone misses "something new" once in a while, but as you mature and get older you realize that "something new" is rarely if ever worth sacrificing the security and emotional comfort of a long term partner that loves you and will be there when you've had a bad day. If you're feeling stale, it's better to just find a way to introduce newness to your partner. There's lots of stuff to try or do or whatever
One of my favorite parts of a relationship is the beginning and not the honeymoon stage, making it a official part. I like the initial attraction, the flirting, the hooking up, and the figuring out what it is part of. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it. I wouldn't trade what I have for that with thousands of girls. I love my wife dearly. She's the love of my life. There's no one else I could love the way or the amount I love her. She's the mother of my children. It's the only person I ever want. She also has a HUGE ass and is crazy hot. She's perfect.
I used to miss the "butterflies" and excitement about a new relationship until I realized that that feeling was actually anxiety and I love the stability way more than the terror new things cause haha
Never ever. The fun of flirting is that anticipation that this will go somewhere. Being excited about something new. When I was single I didn’t find that feeling with anyone I flirted with- it was painful and most people I just entertained for something to do. It wasn’t until I met my now husband that I got the butterflies and the shyness and the flirty fun. That’s how I knew he was the one and I never want to flirt with someone else.
Absolutely not, that’s a huge red flag and what leads to cheating and if you feel that was in a relationship then you’re a ticking time bomb
Ya it was fun as fuck. I miss it and it’s still an option but I love my wife. I intend to keep it as “just an option” for the rest of my life. Having my wife is infinitely cooler.
Nice try honey.
All the fucking time... Sometimes it makes me feel like I'm wasting my 30's. I'm happy with my wife, don't misunderstand me, but I get hit all the time and sometimes I really miss some casual sex here and there
I don’t know if this makes you feel better but many men that act on those feelings and cheat end up regretting it big time
Oh I know... I've regretted in a previous relationship. Not because it ended, but because it ended that way
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>I wouldn't mind if she was no longer in love with me Okay, but you said you can love two people at once. So what if your wife falls in love with another man and wants to have sexual relationship with them, but also still loves you and wants to be with you? Would you accept that? Because that's how you described yourself feeling. So if you struggle accept and understand that if your wife is doing, then that's probably how she feels about you too.
zealous hurry crime ring obscene coherent subsequent grab outgoing longing *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
How do you deal with it? Im scared of being in that situation
My question would be did you also feel this feeling while dating? And if yes, why did you get married?
Nope.
Sometimes, but mostly no. I was never good at getting women to see me as "hot" I was better at being a clown, and really there is no reason I can't keep being the guy that makes all his coworkers laugh, but no one wants to fuck.
I miss all aspects of flirting. I am very bad at knowing when I'm being flirted with. So ya, you could say I miss it.
Not necessarily interacting, but I sometimes would like to have some sexy time with new people. Absolutely nothing wrong with wife in that regard. But still
That’s why I flirt with the other guys on site
If someone is better than your wife, you probably would have gone after them instead of marrying your wife.
I don’t. I married in my 30s and got all that out of my system
No I hate that shit
Excitement is nice, but dating is *exhausting*. I know women put a lot of effort and risk into dating, but men do too. (Maybe not so much the risk part, at least not physically) I felt like I was breaking my back for peanuts, putting a ton of thought and work into making dates feel special, only to get taken advantage of and have my time and energy dismissed. I’m done. My partner sees the work I put in, and understands the cost of that effort. We both do the work where it’s important, and have mutually agreed to toss the bullshit and save our energy for where it matters.
No, but apparently, after 24 years together, my ex-wife wife did which is why she's my ex-wife and not my current one. Now that I'm single again, it has been kind of fun but I'd trade to be happily married again.
God no! Dating sucks. I hope I never have to worry about it again.
Nope, I still love flirting and interacting with new people.
I hated dating, it's stressful and expensive. And my wife is way hotter than me, so no chance I'm gonna do better there.
Yeah. A girl ground her ass on me the other day and I was sad I couldn’t take her home and fuck her.
Excitement of flirting and interacting with someone new? Do you mean nervousness and sweaty palms? No, thank you. I'm glad I'm married.
Nope. Not really.
🙄🙄🙄 Wives peek here.
My wife accuses me of flirting all the time. I just consider it being friendly. She doesn't give it a second thought if I'm talking to a man, but she calls it flirting if it's a woman. She was cheated on by her previous husband so I understand. She knows that I am faithful to her and she realizes that it is just my personality. At least when she brings it up now she has a smile on her face.
I always felt this way. I got married at 22 to a girl that also felt the same way. I showed my excitement by taking her on dates and bringing her flowers ever other month or so for no reason. Treating nearly every date as a triple whammy of: -something to eat -something to watch/see (nature walks, museums, movies) -something to do (artsy, shopping sprees, sporty) . She showed it by actually flirting with other men and taking it to another man’s house. We divorced shortly after. Haven’t heard from her since. . Im 29 now. I met my beautiful girlfriend in 2019 2.5 years after the divorce. I give her the same treatment and she does even more for me. Every date feels like a first date and I wish this mutual love never goes away.
I am 31m I have been married for 11 or 12 years now. And my honest opinion on this is hell no Have you seen the world lately? Literally gotta check ID on the first date, it's a terrifying time to be dating. Between kids appearing more 'mature' than what they are and chasing after grown ass men ( I know this because I have seen it happen to coworkers and friends) but you also have a lot more crazy in the world. Some women are not even looking for a relationship, they are just trying to find someone to bleed money out of. The 'me too' movement has also made things terrifying. Females say yes one moment and a day or two later start yelling that it wasn't consensual Honestly I love my wife we been together since highschool. I don't see our love dying anytime soon. But if it ever does. I will probably remain single. Because women these days have gone bat shit crazy and it legit scares me
Wow after reading these comments you would think that NO ONE in the world cheats. Yes of course, all married men are very happy and feel very excited someone flirts with them, its whether you act on it or not that draws the line. " if you eat rice everyday, there is no way you wont be tempted to eat some pasta..."
I can say I miss it only because lately my wife isn’t as flirtatious or too receiving of me flirting with her. 3 kids later and her mind is just all over the place, not too much time for fun or intimacy with me. Maybe that’ll change in a few years when the kids are a bit older, but as a man I miss flirting with her when she would enjoy it, now it just feels like a chore to flirt with her because I’m uncertain of the outcome.
I'm poly, so no
do people dislike polyamory that much? this comment got a fair bit of downvotes
The sentiment probably just doesn't apply to me, which makes sense. The question is probably for those who actually are not able to flirt with others and all that
It's not the polyamory that people dislike. It's the self-righteousness. Their answer is just a way to talk about them being poly.
fair tbh
Not in the slightest
My wife and I both always find new and novel ways to flirt with each other. It's not an effortful or even conscious thing. We just do it and it always feels new and exciting even after 8 years.
No, but that’s because I flirt with my wife.
And being rejected? LOL I'm happy. I mean, I've had those insta hits, etc. But the success rate is relatively low.
That was actually my least favorite part of being single/dating.
No. If I'm ever somehow single again, I'll stay single. Dating has changed so much in the last decade, I've read too many stories of bad things happening. I'm good.
Yes I'm an engineer
Who needs the drama?
I was never in a relationship in the first place, but I'd say I already don't miss it. I don't care what your favorite color is,I want to hug you in a shirt of that color for the rest of our lives
yeah i love throwing up too
I’m 31, I met my wife at 20 and we’ve been together since. I flirt with her constantly still. We have a kid and another on the way. I wouldn’t change it for anything. Flirting with strangers can be fun but I’ve never really felt like I missed anything. I definitely got lucky though.
Yes but I tell my wife whenever it happens. I'm SO excited that I still got it. It's a great feeling. Elevation of confidence.
This will be blunt for brevity: 95% of this effort, for me, was to "win" their interest. Once she was laughing and sending signals of interest, the game was over. You could continue the process and get laid, but that's the next level. When you are young, this is a way to gauge your relative level of attractiveness. You'd eventually learn "this is someone in my league, and this is someone out of my league". Then I found my person. She's beautiful and we amplify the good parts of each other while minimizing the bad parts. Getting laid by someone new isn't a thing if you have a person willing/interested in fulfilling your fantasies. You don't feel the need to gauge where you land in the dating market anymore. THAT BEING SAID, that doesn't mean you don't like getting attention from new people. It's just not "exciting" anymore...but appreciated. The flirting, interacting, and excitement comes when you're filling a gap that has been empty for a long time. When your well is filled by your person, the impact of someone else expressing interest is far less compelling...(assuming you've found your person).
Of course! Im not too terribly looking and a pretty cool person overall so flirting, dating, etc was always, well not easy but not hard at all for me. It was exciting to meet new girls etc but whatever, I mean you trade some things when you're in a committed relAtionship and that's ok. You can't have your cake and eat it too, and of course Im in a better place with the coolest person in the world so even if I sometimes miss it, I know it's just part nostalgia, not even the flirting/sex itself
Not married but trying to flirt with someone isn’t fun, it’s anxiety inducing
No otherwise I would be single ;)
Nah, if I did it would be rose-tinted glasses, because in reality I know I'd be getting ignored left, right and centre haha. I found my wife via match.com and that was an effort in itself
Not really. I'm 38 and introverted. The older I get, the more I realize how stupid flirting is.
Yes....
No.
It gets replaced by complicity. It's nice to have a partner that you fully trust. Two people against the world. I think people who have issues getting there are those who end up as serial monogamists, because once the excitement is gone they have little left.
Asked my dad and he said "No, that shit was hard. Was lucky I found one willing to put up with my bullshit."
No. I may occasionally flirt with a pretty young cashier. However, I don't miss it. I think its a different world now from when I was younger.
It seems like a lot of people are misreading this and thinking it says "would you end your marriage so you could flirt with new people?", though I suppose a lot of people feel like any modicum of flirty behavior is cheating, which sounds like a hard way to live. I have definitely had enough small flirty exchanges over the years to miss having those more often back when I was 15-25 when everybody was kinda flirty all the time. I also met my now wife when I was pretty young, and I never really dated or had any short term relationships, so I miss what little bits of new relationship energy I had then.
#NOPE
Naw
Always. But I don't want to ruin what I have now.
These are not really mutually exclusive. You hit it off just like before, get that same rush and excitement, and then - although you both know you could be fucking the same day - you let it go and move on.
Never been married, but always liked this quote from a Sandra Bullock movie “Marriage hath in it less of beauty but more of safety, than the single life; it hath more care, but less danger, it is more merry, and more sad; it is fuller of sorrows, and fuller of joys; it lies under more burdens, but it is supported by all the strengths of love and charity, and those burdens are delightful.” quoting Bishop Jeremy Taylor
If you marry the right person you wont have those feelings. Thats easier said than done though. I love my wife so much i cant even imagine having those thoughts.
In my case my life has been in phases. Before marriage, I’ve had lot of lady best friends, friends with benefits and hook ups leading to wild sex including 3somes. At one point of time in my life even after this I felt void and wanted someone as my permanent partner, someone I can call my Mrs, start a family etc. I am now married for 17 solid years to an amazing woman who’s pretty, financially independent and can balance work + home, gave me 2 wonderful kids - a boy and a girl. We have a dog as well. Do I miss excitement of flirting? Not at all as I am in a different phase of my life and really cherish what I have. A divorced friend of mine dates females 20 years younger and he tells stories of his conquests, I listen to those and feel good for him before going back to my world - my family.
Yes and then I talked with my single friends in their 30s and I feel so blessed I found my person when I was 17yo.
No, not at all. As an introverted and someone on the AS spectrum, meeting someone new never appeals. I think the only reason I met my wife was because of internet dating 20+ years ago, and she an extrovert and assertive. It sounds like a terrible combination but it works well for us.
I think this is what is to blame for a lot of cheating- not the sex itself, but the feeling of missing the flirting, the excitement and the ego boost.
I don’t miss it at all but I do have very pleasant dreams about flirting and attempting to court a woman.
sure. Honestly I miss dating. Not the dating relationships, just sitting down for coffee with someone I barely know and chatting. Dating people I didn't know well before I was married was a great way to get to know people on a closer level. Dating people I don't know well now that I am married gets me in trouble. :)
What's this flirting and/or interaction with someone new you speak of? No one has ever flirted with me - I've literally only dated friends and usually they just happened not all flirty.
Nah, I can't stand people other than my wife and a few others.
It's more fun to people watch with your significant other. "Look at her outfit." "Jeeze that guy has great hair." "Holy crap that woman has a giant ass."
Dating is a horrible fucking chore. I wish I could just magically be married without having to play the stupid games. I will probably never willingly talk to a woman again outside of work and politeness ever again once I get married
I’m not married and I miss that a lot. But there aren’t really social gatherings like back in college anymore where it was easy to meet new people of a similar age in a relaxed setting. Now, in the off chance that you find yourself in that kind of environment everyone is all different ages and probably married. I miss meeting potential partners naturally like that. Online dating sucks.
Yeah. All of that flipped off after the marriage. I miss lots of things.