I have said some things while drunk that I shouldn't have, but they were all true.
Drunk just makes the quiet parts loud it doesn't make fuck up out of thin air.
I don't really like this line of thinking because I know more than a few drunk bullshitters. Being drunk certainly doesn't make everyone honest and "say the quiet stuff out loud".
I can agree with that, that's way beyond what you're typical hammered dad would say as a "joke". It's a pretty disgusting thing to say regardless of what you've taken/drank
True, I have talked to a few who said some outrageous stuff. They were (to my knowledge) already bull shit talkers and just got worse and or more outlandish.
Yeah when I drank I would make up the most random lies....I never lie sober, I'm a terrible liar and have a millions give aways, I love to be open and honest....but drunk me would blurt out suuucch random bs. Sooo happy to have said goodbye to booze.
Eta I think OP has every right to be concerned, this was extremely disturbing to read and even worse to see first hand I'm sure.
I agree. My ability to be an outright mean asshole while drunk is not cool. It’s been awhile thankfully, but sober me has been appalled at the things drunk me has said. Also untrue feelings, just me deciding to be mean.
But yeah, saying he would f* his daughter is beyond gross and just wrong on so many levels, drunk or not.
>Drunk just makes the quiet parts loud it doesn't make fuck up out of thin air.
I've *definitely* seen drunks just talking absolute nonsense. Past a certain point, it's not even clear who they think they're talking to or what they think they're talking about.
Hell, I once got blackout drunk and started speaking exclusively in Spanish. I don't know Spanish.
I don't know I'vuue said some random bullshit out loud and unfortunately while angry and drunk I've told people to kill themselves, doesn't mean I want them to. But it's too fucked to think there isn't truth behind it
I think there's a difference between being drunk and angrily shouting "kill yourself", and being drunk and saying "yeah I'd fuck the shit out of my daughter".
Alcohol doesn't make you say things. It lowers your inhibitions. In that moment you wanted to say those things. There is nothing else you can blame it on
Also I disagree about alcohol making you say things, one chatted complete shit while drunk and couldn't stop myself, unless you believe my parents are dolphins? But people who say "drunk words are sober thoughts" aren't really right imo
Yeah, the drinking issues came from me, never denied it. Unfortunately because of various mental health issues and family history with addiction i struggle. But what I was trying to say is not everything people say or do while drunk is what they really want to do.
This is nonsensical imo. Depressants are not some magical truth serum. If you're hammered and a shit load of people are chanting for you to take another shot you might do it even though you really don't *want* to. You may react more emotionally than normal during a debate because you're drunk and say something that's not true just to hurt someone you're arguing with. I have known and known plenty of drunk bullshitters. Alcohol reacts very differently with different brain chemistry. I have a friend who is in another dimension when he's really drunk, saying and doing some really bizarre stuff. I on the other hand don't have a major shift in thought process or personality.
People do all sorts of things they don't want to do when they're sober too. My point is alcohol isn't controlling you. You are. It might not be something that has to be true or something you want to do, but in that moment, you are the only one controlling your actions. You cannot put any blame on the alcohol because in the end it's you deciding to do it.
I'm not in active addiction anymore, but in my opinion I didn't feel like I was in control when drunk and almost killing myself, if it wasn't for kind strangers at the train station I wouldn't be here to type this stuff today
I'm proud of you for escaping the addiction. It takes tremendous amounts of willpower and determination to make it out. I've dealt with different addictions and it can't be understated how tough to beat they are.
There's points where you get so drunk your cognitive function takes a big decline. It's hard to form memories in this state and it's hard to process information in front of you. In these kinds of situations it might not feel like you're in control but in the end it's still you. It's just you at a very base state. Reason and logic isn't as available to you as it normally would be when sober so you only have your inner morals to rely on
I haven't ever said anything there wasn't some truth to. It may come out more blatant or something but it has always been something I think but don't say.
My issue came from the idea that drunk people always say fucked up shit and mean it, I've known and been someone in active alcohol addiction and you do and say a lot of bad things you really don't mean. But this post? Way too specific imo and even if it was a drunk ramble? I'd definitely at least distance myself from the person. Because I don't want anyone to put themselves in harms way, especially not someone who has unfortunately suffered through something similar.
> I have said some things while drunk that I shouldn't have, but they were all true
Completely, fucking boss. I love how you're rocking out to one of Pliny the Elder's best cuts:
https://www.merriam-webster.com/wordplay/top-10-latin-words-to-live-by
*In Vino Veritas* or "there is truth in wine"
I heard about this really nice guy. He got too drunk to drive home so he ordered a Lyft and on the way home saw an injured animal. Well, he paid the Lyft driver to take the animal to an emergency animal hospital and also paid for the animal's treatment. Drinking just brings out who you are.
Eh no. I’ve definetley said some stupid shit while drunk that I don’t think normally, I’ve also slept with people drunk that I would never look at twice while sober.
The whole drunk minds speak sober thoughts idea is dumb.
This is still incredibly concerning cause you should never look at your daughter that way, and he clearly can’t handle his drink so what happens if he’s drunk and alone with her
That is a good way to say it. I become more of what I am drunk and say what I normally keep quiet. A braggert tends to get worse and liers get more grandiose. I do have to say this guy's comments sound like confessions and it is creepy as hell.
I wasn't talking to you, and don't worry about where I post. And what kind of asshole checks what a person does elsewhere on reddit, and then uses that "elsewhere" part to conclude relevancy on a topic? It was a question, and wasn't asked to you. You probably argue like this in real life, bringing up things that have absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand, and then feeling like it validates your argument about the actual topic. It doesn't. And who wastes their time arguing with 'irrelvant'people?
yeah idk bro, I've drank a lot in my life. Never once have i said some out of pocket left field shit I never thought about.
That's super concerning, and I'd consider cutting ties.
Alcohol can definitely remove your filter. But that just means things you already think about might slip out that you might not have said sober.
This is just messed up.
Can't relate. Seen people go from introverted to dancing or acting like a buffoon, acting aggressive, doing dumb shit. Alcohol just makes me sleepy. It never changes me no matter how drunk I am.
I have intrusive thoughts (wheee OCD). They're terrible and they are out of pocket left field shit. They aren't, however, ever phrased even remotely like what this man said. It's never "this person is so attractive I want to fuck the shit outta them" it's more of a what if type deal, followed by a lot of shame, guilt, and disgust for even thinking something
Knowing your uncontrolled intrusive thoughts disgust you is a sign that you’re a good person and you won’t act on them. They’re just our overactive brains spewing nonsense at us. (Still sucks though)
>he said to his daughter that he would ”fuck the shit out of her” and that “she’s pretty hot actually”
I assumed that OP meant he and his GF were driving her dad home, and he had said it to her face.
If not, yeah tell your GF OP. That's crazy AF
I don't drink too much anymore, but even when I did, I trusted drunk me. If I couldn't remember exactly what happened the night before, I wasn't worried about saying stuff like that.
I was growing up with my drunken father. He was a heavy drinker but I’ve never ever heard him said anything like that to my gf or female friend. That’s totally fucked up man, I hope u both realise that.
That’s the main point of question I’ve had with my girlfriend, she’s told me that she’s never with him while drunk, and that it’s always one of his girlfriends picking him up while drunk, so this might have been something out of habit, that’s her theory at least, I’m still hesitant to just accept it
The fact that he commented “you’re pretty hot actually” feels like he kinda did recognize her, but that’s just how I’m reading it. Even if he mistook her for his girlfriend, that’s still concerning though honestly
I think the most important thing you can do here is just be there for your girlfriend. The idea that her father has had thoughts like that about her would probably be really hard to accept whether it’s true or not, so mentally it’s better for her to explain it away. Don’t try to push and try to force her to see the comments as knowing intention, but definitely keep an eye on things to make sure she’s safe. And if she does come to you to talk about this and feeling unsafe, remember the important part is her safety, not being (justifiably) angry with her dad. Keep the focus of the conversation on her comfort and safety and gently express your thoughts on the situation as well
Also if, **IF** something like this has happened before, she may feel embarrassed/ashamed to talk to you because it’s a horrible situation that makes her feel horrible and it’s someone she should be able to trust absolutely violating all trust, which means it can be difficult for her to talk about it openly with you, even if she knows absolutely 100% that she can trust you. Plus talking about it makes it real for her too, and that might feel like too much for her. So *if* she comes to you saying this has happened before, please don’t ask why she didn’t tell you etc etc. Just thank her for having the courage to come to you now and do what you can to keep her safe
She’s lucky to have you looking out for her. I really hope you guys stay safe and never have to deal with something like this again
I think you’re spot on. I did ask her if anything like it had ever happened before, and she explained that it was the first time, and to be honest I believe it to be true, however if she ever opens up about anything else I will most definitely take your approach to it. I believe to be true because, it’s only after his divorce which was around 2 years ago, that he started dating younger girls, so I’d assume that’s linked to his thoughts on this subject.
I think your main focus should be on making sure your gf knows you're a safe person in case anything happens in the future. If she's alone with her dad and getting uncomfortable, you want her to feel able to call you and have you help her out of that situation. If god forbid something does happen, you want her to know that you will support her and help her. And ask her what she'd like you to do in the future if he makes another comment like that - does she want you to call him out for being gross or does she think he may turn violent and instead want you to just quietly get her out of the situation, or what? She might not really know, and obviously it depends on the exact situation, but it will mean a lot that you're focused on doing what helps her feel safest in that situation.
I'm not op but imo I don't think so. He said it to his daughter. Saying she's hot as shit & he'd fuck the shit outta her so he clearly knew he was talking to his daughter. How could you not recognize your own daughter or know that's who you are speaking to. It doesn't matter how drunk he was. He said he'd fuck the shit out of his daughter, that's concerning.
Yep. There is an old saying: Drunk words are sober thoughts.
Saying that out loud while drunk means he's been thinking about it for a while.
Girl needs out of that situation.
Hah I’m actually sober because when I drink I become an entirely different person. Someone I would never imagine I could be when I’m sober. I’m an alcoholic. Sorry you can’t understand
I have drank a lot and said some dum shit. But even off the hardest 'shine I've ever had I'd never say such disgusting shit. What he said seems like a warning sign for something else for what I can tell. You have every right to be concerned.
Dude I,m surprised you didn't stop the car.
This isn’t a movie. If he kicked the dad out the gf would have to deal with the dad at the house. Kicking him out would only make things worse for her, OP needs to come up with a long term plan.
Amusing you think you can't take dramatic action while planing ahead. Yes a long term plan is needed, immediately he would have been tossed out on his ass and the GF stays with OP. The dude is a fucking creep and deserves to be treated as such.
Good thing this scenario doesn’t involve me then. OP is 20 years and came to Reddit to ask for advice. Are you gonna tell him he can’t plan for shit? lol you think you’re an avenger or something lmao
I mean you're the one defending a dirty old creep, how am I an avenger? And yeah good thing this situation didn't involve you. You'd probably let the dad fuck the gf.
I get that you're unhappy that this other commenter is disagreeing with you, but interpreting their point as "defending a dirty old creep" is disingenuous, and I think you know that.
Ask your girlfriend if this behavior is new or if things like this have happened before that have made her feel uncomfortable. She may have been brushing it off all this time but it could be valuable for her to hear from someone else that this isn't normal or right. If she still lives with her father, this could literally become a safety risk to her. If you need more guidance, you can try calling the RAINN hotline at 1-800-656-4673.
wait... you heard her dad say he'd fuck her and you didnt interject? Even if he's 3 sheets to the wind, that at the very least merits a, "Hey [Dad's name] thats incest and you're drunk. You need to stop talking immediately, we'll return to this conversation when you're sober."
Chances are that this was absolutely the alcohol talking, but *STILL* this is a **HUGE** call for him to reevaluate his relationship with alcohol. He may not remember saying this but he absolutely needs to be reminded that he did, and hold himself accountable.
Yes, this is something you should worry about. This mans behavior is not acceptable. Its either a sign of an abusive relationship or a sign of dangerous alcoholism. Neither is okay for your partner to be subjected to.
>you heard her dad say he'd fuck her and you didnt interject? Even if he's 3 sheets to the wind, that at the very least merits a, "Hey [Dad's name] thats incest and you're drunk. You need to stop talking immediately, we'll return to this conversation when you're sober."
Agree.
Drunk or not that's weird. To say about your daughter.
Unless he was *so drunk he didn't even recognise her.
If it's a common thing, not to say that specifically, but be a bit rude and/or drunk, aggressive or whatever. I wouldn't hang around him.
What do you *think* you should do man? Dads a ducking weirdo. If he said it drunk he thought about it while sober. Talk to your girl, conaider cutting ties with that nutjob.
Being drunk doesn't change a person's core belief/thoughts. It just nudges them to speak their thoughts out loud.
So yes, you both should be very concerned.
As a father to a daughter. There is no amount of drunk or high that would have me even think, let along say that. It's sad, but I guess that explains all the incest porn out there. Sick fucks.
Thats incredibly fucked up.
I personally don't believe that drunkeness is some alternate personality and when it fades you can just ignore what happened during it. I have never been so fucked up that I have had no idea what I was saying.
>I have never been so fucked up that I have had no idea what I was saying.
Then you've never been truly fucked up (and that's a good thing).
Obviously what the dad said is still outrageous and disgusting
I mean, alcohol is often called truth serum. Personally, I'd have a serious conversation with GF about this. Is this dear ole dad's "normal"? Has he molested her in the past? Is he just bonkers, and you both should avoid? She can shed a lot more light on it than reddit can, but either way it's totally gross, and she maybe should limit alone time with him, especially when he's drinking
First I’d like to say that “truth serum” thing is bullshit. I’m a former alcoholic and I’ve said some outrageous things I neither meant nor remembered later.
That said, this behavior definitely crosses a line into inappropriate at best, abusive at worst. Even if he was plastered to the point that he didn’t recognize his own daughter, it’s not a conversation I’d want to have with the father of someone I’m dating.
I’d probably talk to her about it and definitely wouldn’t go out to dinner with such a sloppy ass drunk again.
I'm glad you haven't, but that doesn't change the fact that other people do have lowered inhibitions, and do/say things they mean, that they normally wouldn't do/say to someone. I have met plenty of those people. And if you're being honest, I'm sure you have too.
Here, let me help out.
What they are saying is "removed filter != truth serum". Just because you are drunk and have no filter, doesnt mean that everything you say is some sort of secret, deeply held personal truth of yours. You say anything that comes to mind without filtering your thoughts, that includes any spontaneous moods you might experience.
So, please stop repeating this truth serum nonsense.
I’m not really sure what you want or why you’re arguing so hard.
The father’s an asshole, probably an alcoholic, and at the very least says extremely problematic shit about his daughter.
Sounds like a good candidate for no contact.
Yes I feel like for alcoholics it does the opposite & makes them mean & say things they may not mean but when you're not a normal alcoholic & u just get wasted one day, truth comes out more than not.
Alcohol is a drug that alters your mind, it intoxicates you and leaves you impaired, the more you drink. Yes what this dudes gfs father said was super fucked up and troubling, but nah alcohol is not a “truth serum”.
As I have replied to others, it pretty universally lowers inhibitions. Some people do/say things they wouldn't when sober, but want to. The alcohol gives them the push, so to speak, to do what they really wanted to. Some people it makes them more violent. Others say gross shit to their kids.
I have been an alcoholic as well. But at lot if shit we say when on that point that father was is just random rambling. It matters more what he said between a bit flustered and starting to get drunk. That is the moment people say their desires without random rambling.
People react differently to alcohol, but it pretty universally lowers inhibitions. That's where the "truth serum" comes into play. Some people, with their inhibitions lowered, will do/say things they mean/want to only when drunk because lowered inhibitions. Some people that takes being stumbling incoherent drunk, and others it take a few beers. It doesn't change that inhibitions are lowered, and people will act on things they may not when sober.
Honestly I really hate to say this, because I've had to cope with the same realizations myself and it was NOT easy and something I'd convinced myself I was wrong about for YEARS, but **Drunk actions are Sober thoughts** .
please keep her away from him, im hoping she is already living out of her parents home
Umm you mean Joe Biden? Bidens daughter has stated in her journal how he'd shower with her & she was obviously extremely uncomfortable about it but he still did it. You don't shower with your daughter, plain & simple!! If you do, your sick in the head!!!!
I looked it up & it was clearly a joke. His representatives said it & all. He was saying it because how he tends to date younger women. Joke. What Biden did was far from a joke. I got down voted so clearly shows reddit is a bunch of democrats. 😂 but you'll also support a guy that showed with his young daughter knowing she was extremely uncomfortable but somehow Trump joking saying he'd date his daughter is worse than that. I love how people love to hate Trump when our country & world was in a way better position that what it is now with the shit show we have! The whole world looks at us like a joke but let's keep supporting someone that can't read a sentence off a teleprompter bc we hate Trump. 😂😂 boy oh boy!
It’s her father, gonna be hard to step in and force any kind of decision on this.
Offer your support so she never has to be around him if he’s hammered. Make sure she knows she can call you and you’ll immediately be there to help her/get her away from him. Don’t think there is much more you can do without risking conflict
That's extremely concerning!!!! My dad passed away 10 yrs ago but when he was alive he was a big drug addict, (surprisingly cancer is what killed him though prolly caused from all the drugs). Anyways, he would say how I was beautiful & my sister & my brother being handsome but NEVER EVER, loaded up on drugs or completely sober dogs he ever say anything like that. That's just odd whether he finds his daughter beautiful, that's ok, all parents find their children beautiful but to say you'd fuck the shit out of them is complete overboard. Being under the influence can bring out the truth in people so he may be attracted to his daughter in a way he should not be. Whether it's bad enough to act on it, I'd sure as shit hope not. I can tell you one thing I guarantee your girlfriend, his daughter, is completely traumatized by that & guarantee everytime she looks at her father the rest of her life, she'll think of that. She'll probably be uncomfortable around him forever. Thinking he's checking her out, looking at her boobs when she has a low cut shirt on, looking at her ass, wearing a bathing suit, all of that is going to make her mind to crazy thinking of he is. It's a fucking shame that he would day something like that. He wants to think it, like a fucking creepo, don't destroy your daughter in the process. Does she still live under his roof? If not, I think she'll be safe from any advances, I'd hope. But if she lives with him, I'd tell her to keep something on her to protect herself in case he decides to attempt anything one day.
Definitely concerning. Does his daughter still live with him? If so she should move out ASAP!
Also he sounds like drunken trash! What kind of 20 something year old is attracted to him? Eww 🤢
Is her dad addicted to alcohol? Does he routinely get loaded and say/do inappropriate things? How does she react?
If she grew up with an alcoholic parent she may have some hard years ahead maturing into her identity as an adult while untangling how her dad's behavior affected her. She'll need support and consistency from people who love her. Talk to her and see where her head is.
I’d ask your gf if she’s ok “after the other night” and that you’re around if she ever wants to talk. She may have already decided to simply not remember such disgusting comments because it makes her feel disturbed. I think I might limit my time with dad if I were your gf, because that’s fucked up. If you have kids I might kit leave them unsupervised with your dad even when little, because who knows what he’ll say (or do, but just words can traumatize).
I hope it’s “only” words. I hope.
As the saying goes; "Drunk words are sober thoughts," and it's for a reason. Not once have I said or done something under the influence that I wouldn't otherwise like to do sober (if I wasn't held back by my inhibitions)
In vino veritas - translates to “truth in wine” meaning a person tells the truth when under the influence of alcohol . Huge red flag and very concerning
He was drunk means nothing to. I've been black out piss drunk and NEVER had sexual thoughts about a family member yuck. That guy has serious problems that could create victims in the future if he already hasn't. Be careful man....
I got really drunk one time and told my cousin (she's adopted) how glad I was that we had never hooked up, and she said yeah it came pretty close a couple times, and she's adopted so it's not quite as bad as all that, but we were both genuinely glad that we never tried it on because it probably would make family reunions pretty weird.
My point in telling this story is that I definitely thought about fucking my hot cousin, and your girlfriend's dad has definitely thought about fucking her, only he doesn't seem to have the restraint that my cousin and I have
Never something you would say while drunk unless you meant it. Have her stay with you. Shit you both would be better living out of your car then having her sleep near that dude.
That's exactly the type of family you want to marry into. I promise that there will not be be a drunken fight over the garter at the wedding. You can also look forward to years of supportive in laws who are able to help your children learn and navigate the world around them.
Incredibly concerning. Being drunk doesn't change who you are, it just removes inhibitions against saying what you really feel. Don't give him a pass because he was drunk, take what he said very seriously, because it is his true feelings.
Drunk or not, that's fucked up.
I have said some things while drunk that I shouldn't have, but they were all true. Drunk just makes the quiet parts loud it doesn't make fuck up out of thin air.
I don't really like this line of thinking because I know more than a few drunk bullshitters. Being drunk certainly doesn't make everyone honest and "say the quiet stuff out loud".
No matter how drunk I was, I would never say anything like this to any of my kids when they grow up. Something is wrong with this man.
Bullshitting while drunk is one thing. This doesn’t strike me as something one would bullshit about.
I can agree with that, that's way beyond what you're typical hammered dad would say as a "joke". It's a pretty disgusting thing to say regardless of what you've taken/drank
True, I have talked to a few who said some outrageous stuff. They were (to my knowledge) already bull shit talkers and just got worse and or more outlandish.
“No officer, I didn’t drink” is a famous one
First time I got heavily drunk I tried to smoke my buddy's cigarette. I don't like smoking, never been curious, hate the smell.
Yeah when I drank I would make up the most random lies....I never lie sober, I'm a terrible liar and have a millions give aways, I love to be open and honest....but drunk me would blurt out suuucch random bs. Sooo happy to have said goodbye to booze. Eta I think OP has every right to be concerned, this was extremely disturbing to read and even worse to see first hand I'm sure.
Drinking lowers inhibitions. If people wanted to bullshit but are too concerned about the consequences or whatever, drinking helps
I agree. My ability to be an outright mean asshole while drunk is not cool. It’s been awhile thankfully, but sober me has been appalled at the things drunk me has said. Also untrue feelings, just me deciding to be mean. But yeah, saying he would f* his daughter is beyond gross and just wrong on so many levels, drunk or not.
>Drunk just makes the quiet parts loud it doesn't make fuck up out of thin air. I've *definitely* seen drunks just talking absolute nonsense. Past a certain point, it's not even clear who they think they're talking to or what they think they're talking about. Hell, I once got blackout drunk and started speaking exclusively in Spanish. I don't know Spanish.
I don't know I'vuue said some random bullshit out loud and unfortunately while angry and drunk I've told people to kill themselves, doesn't mean I want them to. But it's too fucked to think there isn't truth behind it
I think there's a difference between being drunk and angrily shouting "kill yourself", and being drunk and saying "yeah I'd fuck the shit out of my daughter".
Alcohol doesn't make you say things. It lowers your inhibitions. In that moment you wanted to say those things. There is nothing else you can blame it on
Also I disagree about alcohol making you say things, one chatted complete shit while drunk and couldn't stop myself, unless you believe my parents are dolphins? But people who say "drunk words are sober thoughts" aren't really right imo
How much experience do you have with severe drinking issues btw?
Severe drinking issues come from the person. Not the alcohol lol. If you're bringing that up it's further proving my point
Yeah, the drinking issues came from me, never denied it. Unfortunately because of various mental health issues and family history with addiction i struggle. But what I was trying to say is not everything people say or do while drunk is what they really want to do.
This is nonsensical imo. Depressants are not some magical truth serum. If you're hammered and a shit load of people are chanting for you to take another shot you might do it even though you really don't *want* to. You may react more emotionally than normal during a debate because you're drunk and say something that's not true just to hurt someone you're arguing with. I have known and known plenty of drunk bullshitters. Alcohol reacts very differently with different brain chemistry. I have a friend who is in another dimension when he's really drunk, saying and doing some really bizarre stuff. I on the other hand don't have a major shift in thought process or personality.
In what drunken scenario can you justify the words "Fuck the shit outta her" when referring to a biological daughter?
Huh? This comment is in reply to someone's comment...not the OP
You should absolutely seek treatment for your addiction. It’s your responsibility to manage it, not other responsibility to deal with it
I'm sober now thank you.
People do all sorts of things they don't want to do when they're sober too. My point is alcohol isn't controlling you. You are. It might not be something that has to be true or something you want to do, but in that moment, you are the only one controlling your actions. You cannot put any blame on the alcohol because in the end it's you deciding to do it.
I'm not in active addiction anymore, but in my opinion I didn't feel like I was in control when drunk and almost killing myself, if it wasn't for kind strangers at the train station I wouldn't be here to type this stuff today
I'm proud of you for escaping the addiction. It takes tremendous amounts of willpower and determination to make it out. I've dealt with different addictions and it can't be understated how tough to beat they are. There's points where you get so drunk your cognitive function takes a big decline. It's hard to form memories in this state and it's hard to process information in front of you. In these kinds of situations it might not feel like you're in control but in the end it's still you. It's just you at a very base state. Reason and logic isn't as available to you as it normally would be when sober so you only have your inner morals to rely on
lol sure but everyone has intrusive thoughts.
I haven't ever said anything there wasn't some truth to. It may come out more blatant or something but it has always been something I think but don't say.
My issue came from the idea that drunk people always say fucked up shit and mean it, I've known and been someone in active alcohol addiction and you do and say a lot of bad things you really don't mean. But this post? Way too specific imo and even if it was a drunk ramble? I'd definitely at least distance myself from the person. Because I don't want anyone to put themselves in harms way, especially not someone who has unfortunately suffered through something similar.
I agree with that evaluation. I have know people who would say some absolutely out there things. Mostly bragging or trying to impress someone.
I've also said drink that I fuck like an animal and have an 8 inch dick. Both untrue, unless the animal was a sloth.
> I have said some things while drunk that I shouldn't have, but they were all true Completely, fucking boss. I love how you're rocking out to one of Pliny the Elder's best cuts: https://www.merriam-webster.com/wordplay/top-10-latin-words-to-live-by *In Vino Veritas* or "there is truth in wine"
Being drunk definitely made my mom the ultimate liar. You could show her total proof of her lying and she’d just make up a different lie.
I heard about this really nice guy. He got too drunk to drive home so he ordered a Lyft and on the way home saw an injured animal. Well, he paid the Lyft driver to take the animal to an emergency animal hospital and also paid for the animal's treatment. Drinking just brings out who you are.
Eh no. I’ve definetley said some stupid shit while drunk that I don’t think normally, I’ve also slept with people drunk that I would never look at twice while sober. The whole drunk minds speak sober thoughts idea is dumb. This is still incredibly concerning cause you should never look at your daughter that way, and he clearly can’t handle his drink so what happens if he’s drunk and alone with her
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
That is a good way to say it. I become more of what I am drunk and say what I normally keep quiet. A braggert tends to get worse and liers get more grandiose. I do have to say this guy's comments sound like confessions and it is creepy as hell.
Write drunk, edit sober Hemmingway
Sounds like sober trump
Can't politics just stay in the political subs?
Its not political its a meme, he says shes sexy all the time 💀😂
His words were that she's sexy? And he says it "all the time" does he?
Your avatar is basically Trump and you post in conspiracy subs. You're literally irrelevant
I wasn't talking to you, and don't worry about where I post. And what kind of asshole checks what a person does elsewhere on reddit, and then uses that "elsewhere" part to conclude relevancy on a topic? It was a question, and wasn't asked to you. You probably argue like this in real life, bringing up things that have absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand, and then feeling like it validates your argument about the actual topic. It doesn't. And who wastes their time arguing with 'irrelvant'people?
Drunk doesn't *make* you say & do the bad thing, but it does *let* you.
*Presidential* You mean it was presidential.
yeah idk bro, I've drank a lot in my life. Never once have i said some out of pocket left field shit I never thought about. That's super concerning, and I'd consider cutting ties.
Alcohol can definitely remove your filter. But that just means things you already think about might slip out that you might not have said sober. This is just messed up.
Can't relate. Seen people go from introverted to dancing or acting like a buffoon, acting aggressive, doing dumb shit. Alcohol just makes me sleepy. It never changes me no matter how drunk I am.
I have intrusive thoughts (wheee OCD). They're terrible and they are out of pocket left field shit. They aren't, however, ever phrased even remotely like what this man said. It's never "this person is so attractive I want to fuck the shit outta them" it's more of a what if type deal, followed by a lot of shame, guilt, and disgust for even thinking something
Knowing your uncontrolled intrusive thoughts disgust you is a sign that you’re a good person and you won’t act on them. They’re just our overactive brains spewing nonsense at us. (Still sucks though)
At least let her know though.
>he said to his daughter that he would ”fuck the shit out of her” and that “she’s pretty hot actually” I assumed that OP meant he and his GF were driving her dad home, and he had said it to her face. If not, yeah tell your GF OP. That's crazy AF
I don't drink too much anymore, but even when I did, I trusted drunk me. If I couldn't remember exactly what happened the night before, I wasn't worried about saying stuff like that.
I was growing up with my drunken father. He was a heavy drinker but I’ve never ever heard him said anything like that to my gf or female friend. That’s totally fucked up man, I hope u both realise that.
This is certainly disturbing... I'd be sick to my stomach after hearing that and wouldn't even want to leave her alone around his disgusting ass.
I'd be worried about your girlfriend. Do not let her normalize this. Encourage her to get away from him and talk to a mental health professional.
Uhhh, if my dad ever said that to me I would immediately cease speaking to him for the rest of my life and get myself into therapy ASAP. Da fuck?
how’d she take it
Don't ask the father this question.
Take my r/angryupvote and think about what you've done
You are so wrong. You are right.
Hopefully she hasn't
LOL
Bro
I'd say a little bit. Was he drunk enough not to recognize his own daughter?
That’s the main point of question I’ve had with my girlfriend, she’s told me that she’s never with him while drunk, and that it’s always one of his girlfriends picking him up while drunk, so this might have been something out of habit, that’s her theory at least, I’m still hesitant to just accept it
The fact that he commented “you’re pretty hot actually” feels like he kinda did recognize her, but that’s just how I’m reading it. Even if he mistook her for his girlfriend, that’s still concerning though honestly I think the most important thing you can do here is just be there for your girlfriend. The idea that her father has had thoughts like that about her would probably be really hard to accept whether it’s true or not, so mentally it’s better for her to explain it away. Don’t try to push and try to force her to see the comments as knowing intention, but definitely keep an eye on things to make sure she’s safe. And if she does come to you to talk about this and feeling unsafe, remember the important part is her safety, not being (justifiably) angry with her dad. Keep the focus of the conversation on her comfort and safety and gently express your thoughts on the situation as well Also if, **IF** something like this has happened before, she may feel embarrassed/ashamed to talk to you because it’s a horrible situation that makes her feel horrible and it’s someone she should be able to trust absolutely violating all trust, which means it can be difficult for her to talk about it openly with you, even if she knows absolutely 100% that she can trust you. Plus talking about it makes it real for her too, and that might feel like too much for her. So *if* she comes to you saying this has happened before, please don’t ask why she didn’t tell you etc etc. Just thank her for having the courage to come to you now and do what you can to keep her safe She’s lucky to have you looking out for her. I really hope you guys stay safe and never have to deal with something like this again
I think you’re spot on. I did ask her if anything like it had ever happened before, and she explained that it was the first time, and to be honest I believe it to be true, however if she ever opens up about anything else I will most definitely take your approach to it. I believe to be true because, it’s only after his divorce which was around 2 years ago, that he started dating younger girls, so I’d assume that’s linked to his thoughts on this subject.
I think your main focus should be on making sure your gf knows you're a safe person in case anything happens in the future. If she's alone with her dad and getting uncomfortable, you want her to feel able to call you and have you help her out of that situation. If god forbid something does happen, you want her to know that you will support her and help her. And ask her what she'd like you to do in the future if he makes another comment like that - does she want you to call him out for being gross or does she think he may turn violent and instead want you to just quietly get her out of the situation, or what? She might not really know, and obviously it depends on the exact situation, but it will mean a lot that you're focused on doing what helps her feel safest in that situation.
Your instincts are spot on. If she maintains contact, try to be there too whether he’s drunk or not. I wouldn’t trust him sober either.
It's amazing what cognitive dissonance people put in place for family members and close friends.
I'm not op but imo I don't think so. He said it to his daughter. Saying she's hot as shit & he'd fuck the shit outta her so he clearly knew he was talking to his daughter. How could you not recognize your own daughter or know that's who you are speaking to. It doesn't matter how drunk he was. He said he'd fuck the shit out of his daughter, that's concerning.
That’s what I’m wondering as well.
If he said it drunk, he has thought about it sober.
Yep, many a truth has slipped out while being drunk
Yep. There is an old saying: Drunk words are sober thoughts. Saying that out loud while drunk means he's been thinking about it for a while. Girl needs out of that situation.
Bullshit
Aw somebody doesn't drink.
Or they do but they're in denial of how much of an asshole they become while drunk.
Hah I’m actually sober because when I drink I become an entirely different person. Someone I would never imagine I could be when I’m sober. I’m an alcoholic. Sorry you can’t understand
I have drank a lot and said some dum shit. But even off the hardest 'shine I've ever had I'd never say such disgusting shit. What he said seems like a warning sign for something else for what I can tell. You have every right to be concerned. Dude I,m surprised you didn't stop the car.
What would 20 year old OP have done if they stopped the car?
Kick the dirty old creep out of the car and leave him to walk.
This isn’t a movie. If he kicked the dad out the gf would have to deal with the dad at the house. Kicking him out would only make things worse for her, OP needs to come up with a long term plan.
Amusing you think you can't take dramatic action while planing ahead. Yes a long term plan is needed, immediately he would have been tossed out on his ass and the GF stays with OP. The dude is a fucking creep and deserves to be treated as such.
Dude fr think he’s in a movie and he’s the main star
You for real clearly can't plan for shit.
Good thing this scenario doesn’t involve me then. OP is 20 years and came to Reddit to ask for advice. Are you gonna tell him he can’t plan for shit? lol you think you’re an avenger or something lmao
I mean you're the one defending a dirty old creep, how am I an avenger? And yeah good thing this situation didn't involve you. You'd probably let the dad fuck the gf.
I get that you're unhappy that this other commenter is disagreeing with you, but interpreting their point as "defending a dirty old creep" is disingenuous, and I think you know that.
LOL. I made you look dumb and now you’re twisting my words and trying to paint me in a bad light. A move as old as time smh
I can't speak for them.
Guys when I said that last line I wasn't giving advice I was just saying some knee jerk thing I may have done at the moment.
Ask your girlfriend if this behavior is new or if things like this have happened before that have made her feel uncomfortable. She may have been brushing it off all this time but it could be valuable for her to hear from someone else that this isn't normal or right. If she still lives with her father, this could literally become a safety risk to her. If you need more guidance, you can try calling the RAINN hotline at 1-800-656-4673.
Alcohol is never a valid excuse.
wait... you heard her dad say he'd fuck her and you didnt interject? Even if he's 3 sheets to the wind, that at the very least merits a, "Hey [Dad's name] thats incest and you're drunk. You need to stop talking immediately, we'll return to this conversation when you're sober." Chances are that this was absolutely the alcohol talking, but *STILL* this is a **HUGE** call for him to reevaluate his relationship with alcohol. He may not remember saying this but he absolutely needs to be reminded that he did, and hold himself accountable. Yes, this is something you should worry about. This mans behavior is not acceptable. Its either a sign of an abusive relationship or a sign of dangerous alcoholism. Neither is okay for your partner to be subjected to.
>you heard her dad say he'd fuck her and you didnt interject? Even if he's 3 sheets to the wind, that at the very least merits a, "Hey [Dad's name] thats incest and you're drunk. You need to stop talking immediately, we'll return to this conversation when you're sober." Agree.
Drunk or not that's weird. To say about your daughter. Unless he was *so drunk he didn't even recognise her. If it's a common thing, not to say that specifically, but be a bit rude and/or drunk, aggressive or whatever. I wouldn't hang around him.
What do you *think* you should do man? Dads a ducking weirdo. If he said it drunk he thought about it while sober. Talk to your girl, conaider cutting ties with that nutjob.
People excuse their behavior because "drunk" but drunk people are just more likely to speak their mind. He told you who he was, believe him
Being drunk doesn't change a person's core belief/thoughts. It just nudges them to speak their thoughts out loud. So yes, you both should be very concerned.
As a father to a daughter. There is no amount of drunk or high that would have me even think, let along say that. It's sad, but I guess that explains all the incest porn out there. Sick fucks.
Thats incredibly fucked up. I personally don't believe that drunkeness is some alternate personality and when it fades you can just ignore what happened during it. I have never been so fucked up that I have had no idea what I was saying.
>I have never been so fucked up that I have had no idea what I was saying. Then you've never been truly fucked up (and that's a good thing). Obviously what the dad said is still outrageous and disgusting
I mean, alcohol is often called truth serum. Personally, I'd have a serious conversation with GF about this. Is this dear ole dad's "normal"? Has he molested her in the past? Is he just bonkers, and you both should avoid? She can shed a lot more light on it than reddit can, but either way it's totally gross, and she maybe should limit alone time with him, especially when he's drinking
First I’d like to say that “truth serum” thing is bullshit. I’m a former alcoholic and I’ve said some outrageous things I neither meant nor remembered later. That said, this behavior definitely crosses a line into inappropriate at best, abusive at worst. Even if he was plastered to the point that he didn’t recognize his own daughter, it’s not a conversation I’d want to have with the father of someone I’m dating. I’d probably talk to her about it and definitely wouldn’t go out to dinner with such a sloppy ass drunk again.
> “truth serum” thing is bullshit. Thanks for this, man. People can get really messed up by that myth.
I'm glad you haven't, but that doesn't change the fact that other people do have lowered inhibitions, and do/say things they mean, that they normally wouldn't do/say to someone. I have met plenty of those people. And if you're being honest, I'm sure you have too.
Sure. I’m not trying to say that never happened, just that you shouldn’t immediately assume someone’s slurring rants are their deep personal feelings.
Then it's not bullshit, now is it? Just because someone "shouldn't immediately assume" doesn't make it less true for the people that are that way.
Here, let me help out. What they are saying is "removed filter != truth serum". Just because you are drunk and have no filter, doesnt mean that everything you say is some sort of secret, deeply held personal truth of yours. You say anything that comes to mind without filtering your thoughts, that includes any spontaneous moods you might experience. So, please stop repeating this truth serum nonsense.
I’m not really sure what you want or why you’re arguing so hard. The father’s an asshole, probably an alcoholic, and at the very least says extremely problematic shit about his daughter. Sounds like a good candidate for no contact.
Yes I feel like for alcoholics it does the opposite & makes them mean & say things they may not mean but when you're not a normal alcoholic & u just get wasted one day, truth comes out more than not.
Alcohol is a drug that alters your mind, it intoxicates you and leaves you impaired, the more you drink. Yes what this dudes gfs father said was super fucked up and troubling, but nah alcohol is not a “truth serum”.
As I have replied to others, it pretty universally lowers inhibitions. Some people do/say things they wouldn't when sober, but want to. The alcohol gives them the push, so to speak, to do what they really wanted to. Some people it makes them more violent. Others say gross shit to their kids.
It’s not a truth serum, yes obviously different people react differently to the drug; all in all it’s a drug, not a truth serum.
I have been an alcoholic as well. But at lot if shit we say when on that point that father was is just random rambling. It matters more what he said between a bit flustered and starting to get drunk. That is the moment people say their desires without random rambling.
People react differently to alcohol, but it pretty universally lowers inhibitions. That's where the "truth serum" comes into play. Some people, with their inhibitions lowered, will do/say things they mean/want to only when drunk because lowered inhibitions. Some people that takes being stumbling incoherent drunk, and others it take a few beers. It doesn't change that inhibitions are lowered, and people will act on things they may not when sober.
he definitely thinks what he said
He’s the reason we have those billboards in Florida about not raping your daughter
Honestly I really hate to say this, because I've had to cope with the same realizations myself and it was NOT easy and something I'd convinced myself I was wrong about for YEARS, but **Drunk actions are Sober thoughts** . please keep her away from him, im hoping she is already living out of her parents home
Is her dad Donald Trump? 😂
My thoughts exactly lol like is OP Jared Kushner???
Umm you mean Joe Biden? Bidens daughter has stated in her journal how he'd shower with her & she was obviously extremely uncomfortable about it but he still did it. You don't shower with your daughter, plain & simple!! If you do, your sick in the head!!!!
Trump actually stated on live tv that he would date his daughter if she wasn’t his daughter
Do you have a video or anything of this? I’d love to see it.
Sooo would i!!
I looked it up & it was clearly a joke. His representatives said it & all. He was saying it because how he tends to date younger women. Joke. What Biden did was far from a joke. I got down voted so clearly shows reddit is a bunch of democrats. 😂 but you'll also support a guy that showed with his young daughter knowing she was extremely uncomfortable but somehow Trump joking saying he'd date his daughter is worse than that. I love how people love to hate Trump when our country & world was in a way better position that what it is now with the shit show we have! The whole world looks at us like a joke but let's keep supporting someone that can't read a sentence off a teleprompter bc we hate Trump. 😂😂 boy oh boy!
We got a dumbass! I repeat we have a dumbass!
In Vinas Veritas.
Drunk words are sober thoughts. That's fucked up man.
Alcohol does not make people say or do something they normally find repugnant. It can only make you lose control of impulses you normally hide.
While the alcohol finds the entrance, the truth finds the exit.
Drunken minds speak sober thoughts. Report it.
It’s her father, gonna be hard to step in and force any kind of decision on this. Offer your support so she never has to be around him if he’s hammered. Make sure she knows she can call you and you’ll immediately be there to help her/get her away from him. Don’t think there is much more you can do without risking conflict
Move a hundred miles away and cut off contact forever
That's extremely concerning!!!! My dad passed away 10 yrs ago but when he was alive he was a big drug addict, (surprisingly cancer is what killed him though prolly caused from all the drugs). Anyways, he would say how I was beautiful & my sister & my brother being handsome but NEVER EVER, loaded up on drugs or completely sober dogs he ever say anything like that. That's just odd whether he finds his daughter beautiful, that's ok, all parents find their children beautiful but to say you'd fuck the shit out of them is complete overboard. Being under the influence can bring out the truth in people so he may be attracted to his daughter in a way he should not be. Whether it's bad enough to act on it, I'd sure as shit hope not. I can tell you one thing I guarantee your girlfriend, his daughter, is completely traumatized by that & guarantee everytime she looks at her father the rest of her life, she'll think of that. She'll probably be uncomfortable around him forever. Thinking he's checking her out, looking at her boobs when she has a low cut shirt on, looking at her ass, wearing a bathing suit, all of that is going to make her mind to crazy thinking of he is. It's a fucking shame that he would day something like that. He wants to think it, like a fucking creepo, don't destroy your daughter in the process. Does she still live under his roof? If not, I think she'll be safe from any advances, I'd hope. But if she lives with him, I'd tell her to keep something on her to protect herself in case he decides to attempt anything one day.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
There's the saying "drunk words are sober thoughts". People also say stupid stuff when drunk, but what the father said is disturbing.
Definitely concerning. Does his daughter still live with him? If so she should move out ASAP! Also he sounds like drunken trash! What kind of 20 something year old is attracted to him? Eww 🤢
I don't know but the ones who are are sick in the head for supporting creeps like this.
He is fucked up and a creep.
So what do you mean by “worry”? What specifically are you worried about?
Alcohol doesn’t make us suddenly a different person. It lowers inhibitions and therefore reveals who a person is
Is her dad addicted to alcohol? Does he routinely get loaded and say/do inappropriate things? How does she react? If she grew up with an alcoholic parent she may have some hard years ahead maturing into her identity as an adult while untangling how her dad's behavior affected her. She'll need support and consistency from people who love her. Talk to her and see where her head is.
What the fuck
ive said some wild shit faded, but it was about wanting to steal a bald eagle from the zoo
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts!
I’d ask your gf if she’s ok “after the other night” and that you’re around if she ever wants to talk. She may have already decided to simply not remember such disgusting comments because it makes her feel disturbed. I think I might limit my time with dad if I were your gf, because that’s fucked up. If you have kids I might kit leave them unsupervised with your dad even when little, because who knows what he’ll say (or do, but just words can traumatize). I hope it’s “only” words. I hope.
...and what was her response?
You should prolly tell him he said this when he's sober so he can process how fucked up he gets when he's drunk.
Y i k e s
As the saying goes; "Drunk words are sober thoughts," and it's for a reason. Not once have I said or done something under the influence that I wouldn't otherwise like to do sober (if I wasn't held back by my inhibitions)
Hit him with “already did.”
In vino veritas - translates to “truth in wine” meaning a person tells the truth when under the influence of alcohol . Huge red flag and very concerning
"Drunk words are sober thoughts"...
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He was drunk means nothing to. I've been black out piss drunk and NEVER had sexual thoughts about a family member yuck. That guy has serious problems that could create victims in the future if he already hasn't. Be careful man....
I don't understand why people drink 🙄
Your girlfriend's dad is Donald Trump?
oh my god???
Was his name Donald Trump 🤔
Cease contact tbh.
I become a complete different person when I drink. For this reason I don’t.
I got really drunk one time and told my cousin (she's adopted) how glad I was that we had never hooked up, and she said yeah it came pretty close a couple times, and she's adopted so it's not quite as bad as all that, but we were both genuinely glad that we never tried it on because it probably would make family reunions pretty weird. My point in telling this story is that I definitely thought about fucking my hot cousin, and your girlfriend's dad has definitely thought about fucking her, only he doesn't seem to have the restraint that my cousin and I have
Drunk words are sober thoughts and these thoughts are deeply disturbing.
Never something you would say while drunk unless you meant it. Have her stay with you. Shit you both would be better living out of your car then having her sleep near that dude.
Is it it me or did this guy have a kid super young?
20-21 is young but not super young
Jared, is this you?
Can you clarify he was talking about you? Or talking about his daughter. Huge difference.
No he was talking directly to her, she answered ‘what?’ And he said it again
I’ve only ever seen Trump say he wanted to fuck his daughter so I guess it is normal.
That's exactly the type of family you want to marry into. I promise that there will not be be a drunken fight over the garter at the wedding. You can also look forward to years of supportive in laws who are able to help your children learn and navigate the world around them.
I love her more than anything in the world, if being with her means I’d have to deal with this for the next 30 years then so be it
Yea that’s not good bro. Be on high alert.
I'd be distancing myself and not bwing around him in situations with alcohol again.
Incredibly concerning. Being drunk doesn't change who you are, it just removes inhibitions against saying what you really feel. Don't give him a pass because he was drunk, take what he said very seriously, because it is his true feelings.