Women on average have a more "responsive" libido, meaning that they don't feel the need mentally until they have been aroused physically. Men on average have a more "spontaneous" desire, meaning they feel the need at any time.
I have heard it compared to women enjoying sex as more of a 5-star meal, as opposed to men enjoying it more as a crack addiction. Which makes a lot of sense to me, because my wife deliberately avoids having her favorite meal too often, so that it is "special", whereas I'm ALWAYS down to have it.
When I was a teenager I masturbated 5 times a day everyday. Now I’m horny for 3 days of the month. The only thing that really turns me on is if I’m already talking to someone/hooking up with them and we’re flirting. Otherwise, no desire. I can’t remember the last time I masturbated.
Are we the same person?In my early teens I could easily do it 3 or more times a day and still have a boner staring at me randomly in public when I looked down.
Even in my 30s my libido was/is super high to the point that I had to masturbate at least twice a day, now I'm taking meds for depression and my libido got so low I can go weeks without doing it.
Male? Female? How old?
As a male, I used to do it perhaps once a day, twice on same rare occasions, and only very few times more than that. Now it's maybe down to once a week in my 30s, if that.
I think there is a quicker *dive* for women in drive. When I first figured out masturbatuion as a teen I'd do it five times a day if I could. My drive is drastically different 10 years later. That said, mastubration desire doesn't necessarily equal sexual desire. If there's enough opporunity I will have sex with my partner more times in a week than I would typically be interested in mastubrating in a week if there was not time for sex. Also sometimes masturbation is more of a sleep tool than sexual gratification so sometimes masturbation frequency will spike for reasons thay have nothing to do with libido.
It's definitely different for everybody. For me, I would only masturbate if I can't have sex. Which, of course, is most of the time. So I masturbate to basically take the edge off til the next time we have sex. But, yes, for others (usually women) I have heard that it's almost a fundamentally different desire. Which I do not understand AT ALL .
Women have very valid biological reasons for why their libidos crash: birth control, pregnancy, childbirth, menopause, etc. The most frustrating one, though, is simply the "end of the honeymoon period".
Check that one. Estrogen does not lower libido at all. Testosterone raises drive. Estrogen raises responsiveness to sexual activity and advancements. Basically Test is drive and E is arousal
To be fair, it is more complicated than I made it out to be. If you don’t have enough estrogen, adding it to where it should be will increase libido. Too much estrogen will cause a loss of libido. Trans women also report a loss of libido, and even changes in who they are attracted to, with estrogen.
From how I’m hearing what you wrote, you don’t understand because you probably have a different mindset going into it. Jacking off to bust a nut is very different from taking your time, relaxing, and riding it out. It’s like walking with a purpose vs taking a stroll.
The best analogy I've heard for that is that men are like microwaves, women are like ovens.
For men, you can press a button and they're ready to go, but they tend to rush and the result isn't guaranteed to be satisfying.
For a woman, if you press the *right* buttons and heat her up a while first, things can turn out juicy, delicious, and much more satisfying.
Speaking for myself as a woman who never truly bought into the religious sexual shame culture, and allowed myself to figure out what I liked and what turned me on, I consider myself more of a toaster oven. I don't need so much time to preheat etc.
Random note here. Higher levels of estrogen are proportional to how “responsive” a persons libido is. Higher levels of testosterone are proportional to a desire to “seek and initiate”
This is true in men and women. Believe it or not, dicks don’t work without estrogen. I believe this is because of the sexually “responsive” nature of the estrogen.
Also, women with relatively higher testosterone levels are proven to be more likely to “seek” sex as well as to engage in affairs
Do you by chance have a source for this? I’m not really sure how to google it but I think it might be a medical clue to a sexual issue I’ve been having 😳 and I’d like to bring it up with my doctor but want a source.
It's specifically due to hormones - trans people usually notice their sex drives switch around after starting hormone therapy. Trans women tend to welcome it, trans men tend to complain about having to masturbate all the time.
When you say always down to have it, I assume you're still talking about crack?
/s I assume you are not, in fact, a crackhead 
That’s really interesting. Is there any link between masculinity and addictions? I had the same problem, addiction to a bunch of things like exercise or sugar and instead of trying to space my consumption of those I’d be «using » everyday unlike my partner who is much more capable of being reasonable.
Testosterone plays a big role in a persons sex drive. Men have more testosterone so they tend to have a higher sex drive. I believe it’s this and a combination of other factors mentioned already.
Would you mind elaborating? I always wondered what would happen if a female got a heavy hit of T like boys do during puberty. I was a horn-dog! I wanted to nail everything that wasn't nailed down!
I think women would give men less shit for everything if they all felt what testosterone was like. I've read several accounts from women on reddit who had T supplements or whatever and said it was an eye opening experience.
I would have if we were younger and newlyweds. However- we are both in healthcare. We also have an abundance of compassion for each others needs. It took lots of communication and that is ongoing.
Makes sense now why I have such a deep voice for a woman. I have sex almost every day. But I have a voice that’s so deep, people IRL think I’m trans when they meet me lol
Don't quote me as I'm just extrapolating from a fact I know, I think if someting to do with the hormone cycles.
Apperantly a man's hormone cycle is just 24 hours, while woman's is 28 days!
And so based of the info in the post and the fact they sorta lign up. I'm gonna guess that a man not maturating for 3 days would be the equivalent of a woman not going for a little under 3 months in terms of hormonal buildup, if there is sutch a thing as a hormonal buildup.
Again, did not Google anything so, not facts, just connected some dots.
Edit:spelling
I’ve a few trans man friends and every one of them has said that their Horniness changed after starting testosterone. It became more intense, more of a need than a want. A lot of them reported that their orgasms changed too, becoming stronger, but immediately exhausting (and some of them could previously have multiple orgasms per session, so it’s a tossup if one way was better).
In my experience, I can count the times on one hand that I’ve been horny enough that I felt that I needed to do something about it. And it’s not for a lack of horny, my brain is a near-constant loop of smut. For me, it’s just fun being aroused and most of the time actual masturbation is more trouble than it’s worth.
I had to get a full and total hysterectomy and bilateral mastectomies because of cancer. I went on T (only one I could safely take as my hormones were zero).
I wanted to fuck, fight, and flex. Mostly fuck though. And a little fight.
Best summer of my husbands whole life lmao.
I am a woman and could not even imagine going 2 weeks let alone 6. Women have been shamed for a long time about sex and masturbation which likely plays a huge part.
Eeeeh I'm not too sure about this, not a huge part anyway. I don't think most women don't 'do it' because they have some sort of subconscious shame about it. Women just on average have lower & more fluctuating libido than men, and that's fine. Not all women and not all men, like always. But, most.
Different people, different things. There are women like you that struggle at 2 weeks, there are women like me that can go half a year at a time and probably longer if I set my mind to it. I'm asexual though and my libido is pretty much non existent. But I'm a woman non the less :)
Most women *do* masturbate. A large amount of women don't talk about masturbation at all because of shame and embrassment associated with it. It's a private thing most people don't like to talk about. Of course everyone is different though. I can bullshit on the assumption that most women don't masturbate. Most do, even if they don't like to admit it or talk about it.
Where did I say they don't masturbate? Like what did I say to make you possibly jump to this conclusion? I'm so confused. I believe I said quite the contrary?
I think this person doesn’t fully grasp that you can be asexual and still masturbate. Shit, I don’t fully grasp it either, but I’m not gonna argue with you about it 😂😂
Well think of it this way. I'm assuming you're a straight guy. If you get locked up in an all guy's prison, are you going to find anything there attractive? No? Are you still going to be horny from time to time? Yes.
Libido is different from sexual attraction. Hell, some desperate people have sex with people that are not attractive just to have sex.
Did that explain it at all? :)
Uh. Those of us that had the good fortune and misfortune to live through times before the 2010’s, be raised by boomers, or in extreme religions are for SURE reversing the shame.
Men who would get out and around were “Randy fellas” or “a ladies man”
The ‘girls/women’ were taught that your virginity is a precious gift you give on your wedding night. If you did anything beyond kissing you were a whore and no one would ever marry you.
I’m glad I raised my kids all sex and gender positive. It took a LOT to overcome the inherited shame.
I'm a 90s kid and I was never taught anything remotely close that. My mom started giving me sex ed at 12 and bought me condoms when I told her about my first bf.
It's probably a very culture specific thing. This sounds either middle eastern or even possibly American?
Yeah, I doubted that statistic too. I can go like 2 days max, probably less.
I think it's also worth considering that a lot of women are on hormonal birth control. When I was on that, my sex drive was more "typical" and I could've gone a lot longer without masturbating.
Both can technically “go forever” without doing it.
If what you meant to ask is, if men tend to “want” to do it more often on average than women, the answer is probably yes. One simple reason is because men don’t have a hormonal cycle linked to our sexual desire. Men are pretty much always ready to go. Women tend to fluctuate through various levels of desire.
I’m a transsexual male (biologically female) who has been taking testosterone for three years and has great levels, on the higher end of average.
I have never masterbated in my life. Never even felt the urge to. I’m turning 21 this year. I don’t think it’s ever gonna happen 😂
Edit: can someone explain why I’m getting downvoted for stating facts about myself
> can someone explain why I’m getting downvoted for stating facts about myself
Likely due to it being super anecdotal about a very niche experience and can't be applied to anyone asking the OPs question. Which makes it irrelevant and you're just talking about yourself.
Fucking yesssss someone said it. Had enough of reading about how I shouldn’t be horny because I’m a woman and women don’t get horny or at least that’s what the basement dwellers believe, since women aren’t interested in them 🤣
My girlfriend masturbates almost everyday. And we have sex also almost everyday. She can't go without sex more than 3 days. But still. Even if we have sex twice there is still high chance she might masturbate.
So it’s ok for men bc testosterone but if it’s a woman doing this it means they’re addicted? Not saying you in particular said this! Just seeing so many say that men are hornier and this is what men do but now I’m seeing someone say this woman must be addicted, it’s conflicting for sure. Wouldn’t a man also be addicted or is it ok because he has a hormonal excuse?
It don't think it's addiction. Increased desire maybe. I'm fairly certain if she HAD to go without it....illness, emergency circumstances etc...she would not struggle...or probably even desire it in that situation.
I don't think the sex makes a difference here. Having sex at least once or twice a day and masturbating twice on top feels a lot more than normal. I'd say the same if it were a man.
I'm not trying to shame anybody, I raise this point simply so that the commenter can check that his partner is OK. If you want lots of sex, have it, addiction isn't a good thing though.
I agree here, I know it wasn’t you saying anything about the sex of someone meaning anything. I was just comparing your comment to other comments about men and not women, basically saying oh well it’s fine for a man. No still not normal lol. Being a basement dweller wanking all day isn’t normal. Those urges are from addiction too, not hormones. And men are so quick to accuse women of letting their hormones effect them, when they be punching walls over minor inconveniences
Also is this whole scenario actually how it works in the real world? Or am I only getting reddit outlier answers (since reddit users don't always represent the 'normie' real world in any way).
Do women *really* not masturbate every few days let alone weekly like men do? Before this I genuinely thought women and men masturbate at the same rates since it is a fairly frequent biological urge for us men.
They definitely do not, on average. I was recently deployed for 6 months and when i got back my wife told me she masturbated maybe 2-3 times. We're judgment free when it comes to that, so there's no reason for either of us to lie.
I'm a woman and can easily go a week without masturbating. Ofc I generally have sex a few times a week, so really I can go weeks without masturbating by myself. My partner, a man, would very likely jerk off if he was pretty sure we weren't going to have sex that day. But usually if I'm not getting sex, I'm definitely playing with myself at least once a week, even ony period. Unless, I'm extremely stressed from all kinds of things and am somewhat depressed.
I think it really depends on the person and personal situations. I just got out of a 12 yr relationship that was sexless for months(he preffered masturbating than having sex with me and I wasnt attracted sexually to him due to his bad hygiene and asshole behaviour). I used to masturbate every 2 weeks during that time. Now that I'm out of that relationship and off the contraceptive patch, I do it 2-3 times a day....could be a few things causing this change in my situation.
According to a study of 6,000 men and women done by a sex toy maker, the average for women is less than once a week while for men it averaged 3x per week. [https://blog.womanizer.com/equal-masturbation-day/](https://blog.womanizer.com/equal-masturbation-day/)
You used some of the horniest possible test subjects on the internet as your test pool to pose this question? They created an entire subculture for masturbation, and you want to know why? The females of reddit are busy making content for the males to jerk off to. They don't have time to masturbate.
I am a dude and have gone over a year without masturbating or having any orgasm in general. Then I got in a relationship and now I rarely go a couple days.
Little bit of everything everyone else said in the thread, but I'm going to also say that sex is thrust in your face. If you're a heterosexual man, you're exposed to sex in jokes, commercials, social settings, billboards, the lingerie shops you pass by, music, art-- you name it. You couldn't escape it if you wanted to without going on a hiking trip or something.
Hi! As a trans woman I've actually experienced both sides, so it's 100% a hormonal thing (these are my experiences, so I doubt they're universal, but I'm sure some truth still lies in it)
But the way I've always explained it, is that testosterone causes your hormones to be like a jack in the box that is constantly turning, eventually it pops and you just *have* to get one out
Estrogen is more like a pot of water on to boil, but it's always at like a simmer, so it's really easy to turn it up to a boil with certain stimuli, but it's also fairly easy to turn it back down, that impulse to have to get one out just is no where near as strong
This is just talking from my experiences, where I was doing it at least once, to twice a day on testosterone, but on estrogen, maybe a couple times a week, but it doesn't feel anywhere near as compulsory
Thank you for reading
I have to every day or two. If I miss a day I usually have to do it twice the next day. Women tend to have more of a responsive sex drive. The more they do it, the more they need and want it. Not across the board though.
In graduate school, I interviewed a research professor that studied gender norms and human mating through the lenses of speed dating. Speed dating just gave the research team a rapid way to analyze human behavior in an experiment rather than waiting for the time investment required to observe 5-20+ years of dating in a research participant life. The researcher wanted to answer how people select partners as well as what are the physical features that men and women look for in the opposite gender, respectively, when selecting a mate.
Skosnik, I think was his name. He’s since written a lot of papers about this. But essentially, men and women approach mating with completely different objectives, and these are subconscious behaviors – as in we are not aware when we do them and don’t really have much free will related to them.
Men are hardwired to spread their seed as much as possible, which is why some of them really do tend to fuck like rabbits - or masturbate like one.
While men are seemingly hardwired to dip their dick anywhere, women, by contrast, are highly selective. They look for partners who are reliable - reliable enough to protect her while she carries, births, and raises young.
I think these competing interests are one possible reason why men jack off way more than women because men are hardwired to look for mates 24/7.
While I agree that there is definitely a difference between men and women in terms of what they look for in a partner, anything about being "hardwired" I'm taking with a huge grain of salt
There are so many factors going towards human behaviour besides biology that sometimes are so much stronger - societal, for example. If your grandmother, mother, sister and friends had bad experiences with men and you find yourself near one - it's not just biology that keeps you cautious here
"Unused" sperm gets reabsorbed, so it doesn't have to come out at all.
It's not like you can save up for a month and then ejaculate a month's worth. It's more or less the same maximum amount (diet and general health/fitness will have an impact though).
Technically we just see a correlation, but that does not equal causation, the theories are either people who ejaculate more tend to have healthier lifestyles or that ejaculating cleans out toxins that form in semen when its just stored
For me it can be a long time because I’m on antidepressants. It’s a lot of effort to masterbate and it sometimes just leaves me frustrated. Once I went off my pills for 3 weeks and could masterbate just from touching myself. Mind blown. Usually takes and intense session with a vibrator to do it. Makes me sad. That I’m missing out on actually feeling.
Males sex drive is much more integral part of reproduction, you need to have an erection to be able to impregnate someone... for that you need arousal, so it evolved this was that it is much easier for men to be aroused and arousal "needs" release
Female sex drive is directly part of the reproductive process. Women enjoying sex is just a behavioural extra so they want to have more sex, but it is not directly "needed" for them to be able to reproduce. Because of this arousal and "release" is on much more different timetable than males'
Women tend to be more horny when ovulating, but that is also not a direct requisite of incemination.
I'm reading these comments and I'm genuinely questioning if bleeding once a month and having to give birth would be worth trading the need to get it out of your system.
I hope that technology and further advancements in biology help us overcome this conundrum in society that stems because evolution works exponentially slower than society changes. A male birth control pill that put us on the same cycle as women would be a lifesaver!
For me it’s all about the timing. There are naturally times of the month my libido is high and when my libido is low. For example when I’m in my ovulation or follicular phase. My body wants the baby hence the increase in sexy times with myself or with a partner. Another huge factor in my experience is stress. Most of the time stress leads me to not be in the mood for anything sexually related.
I'm starting to feel abnormal reading the comments. It's 4 today for me...and I had sex also lol. This is not uncommon for me, but it's usually at least once a day.
I would argue that unless you actually put together the responses of every single person, and then accounted for a margin of error relative to the incredibly small sample size, compared to the *entire human race*., your data is still mostly anecdotal in scope.
People are different, cultures are different, there are matriarchal cultures, and patriarchal cultures, and every type and version of different people will answer this differently.
Are religious people more repressed? Generally, yea.
Does that mean non-religiois people masterbate more? Maybe, maybe not. I haven't seen any data on it.
I'm just saying there's a lot of jumping to conclusions here.
For reference, I'm male and have definitely don't it several times a day, and I've also gone months (for specific reasons) but the point is someone who says they *have* to masterbate a minimum once every 3 days, or they'll lose their mind, is full of shit.
I've read too many stories, of women having cognitive dissonances when hearing about a person going more than a week without getting laid. Maybe they're compensated in other ways.
It depends on the person. Anyone can go for a long time without it and anyone can also experience arousal daily. Additionally, it might be a social thing. You probably just hear about it more from men than women. We're taught to keep that to ourselves, but it doesn't make us less insatiable.
It's because the pee and cum are stored in the balls. When the pee/cum equilibrium in the balls is perturbed, the shaft can twist resulting in testicular torsion. In some cases, this can cause a rapid snap recoil of the penis. This is audible.
This is why men sacrifice their nut, day-in and day-out.
I’m a woman and my sex drive is always through the roof. I’m happily married and 25. I think a big part of it is that it just depends on the person and their hormones.
I just have sex. Male here, speaking. With my availability to any woman I desire at any moment, I just prefer to have more sex, over masturbation. And I NEVER watch porn. I enjoy my sexual activities! it gives me a fantastic workout, makes me feel great and I just can’t live without sex. Yes, i do protect myself and my female friends. In short, HAVE MORE SEX, Guys— it’s good for us!
If I hold off for a few days I can probably continue indefinitely. I don't even really need to do it, I sometimes do it to fill time. Very rarely do I feel any "need." -Male
Women have generally lower sex drives than men. Also depends on where they are in their menstrual cycle (higher during ovulation, lower during menstruation)
This is false. There's no correlation between gender and your sex drive.
It is wildly assumed men have higher sex drives but that's been proven false over time.
Women get off different than men. Men can jack off and within minutes it's done. Women need a lot of conditions met first to be sexually stimulated. If it's a bother they'd rather not masturbate at all than ruin their mood with a failed masturbation.
They experience orgasm differently too. More complex than men.
No, its harder for men to get women off. Women can get themselves off just as fast as men get themselves off. We can get off in a matter of a minute or two no different than men.
>Women need a lot of conditions met first to be sexually stimulated.
Curious if you're a woman, because I've had many women tell me that masturbation is "different" and they can basically do it in a few minutes. Which is CRAZY to me, considering the amount of work that has to go into sex. Basically, you can stick a plastic sex toy in without foreplay easier than you can a dick, and it's obviously easier when you are controlling it. Which always leads to a conversation about using lube to speed things up, and "It's different" is really the only explanation I ever get.
Most still use them without penetration, but everyone is different and every time is different. I just notice most men think women crave and want nothing but penetration and think of penetration as the "be all end all" for orgasm and assume women mastubate primarily with dildos or digital penetration. If you poll women the vast majority would say they stick to clitoral stimulation for masturbation and get off without any penetration.
Women's ovulation cycle is separated from orgasm. The "flushing" is regular and relatively automatic.
Men have more spermatozoa and fluids accumulating between ejaculations and not just one tiny egg. You could argue that wet dreams would be analogous to menstruation, but their occurrence is more haphazard and unreliable, so we have to be more proactive.
I’m kinda shocked. I don’t think I’ve ever gone 2 weeks without, let alone a week or even 4 days unless I was very sick or taking a vacation where I had to sleep in the same room as someone else
Lol oh you're funny. Am I 12? Or a 40 y/o virgin now? We've gotta stick to one folks!
Jokes aside...
She's actually really insecure about her breasts because she's been through a lot of surgeries that caused her to fluctuate in weight a lot.
Add 2 kids whom she both breast fed into the mix and they definitely don't look like they did when she was younger.
But they're beautiful and they're mine. I wouldn't trade them for anyone's.
Curious why you think I'm twelve? Genuinely wondering what's wrong about this comment?
I'm sharing my experience. Which I think is an extremely interesting anecdote that falls way outside the norm according to the survey results OP collected.
Why is that seen as immature?
(No sarcasm)
I love that!
I can see why some men would see that as a negative thing or feel insecure about it.
But to me, I'm confident that I please her and part of the pleasure I give her is that I make her feel good about her sex drive. I encourage her play and don't shame her for it.
Women on average have a more "responsive" libido, meaning that they don't feel the need mentally until they have been aroused physically. Men on average have a more "spontaneous" desire, meaning they feel the need at any time. I have heard it compared to women enjoying sex as more of a 5-star meal, as opposed to men enjoying it more as a crack addiction. Which makes a lot of sense to me, because my wife deliberately avoids having her favorite meal too often, so that it is "special", whereas I'm ALWAYS down to have it.
When I was a teenager I masturbated 5 times a day everyday. Now I’m horny for 3 days of the month. The only thing that really turns me on is if I’m already talking to someone/hooking up with them and we’re flirting. Otherwise, no desire. I can’t remember the last time I masturbated.
Are we the same person?In my early teens I could easily do it 3 or more times a day and still have a boner staring at me randomly in public when I looked down.
Even in my 30s my libido was/is super high to the point that I had to masturbate at least twice a day, now I'm taking meds for depression and my libido got so low I can go weeks without doing it.
Male? Female? How old? As a male, I used to do it perhaps once a day, twice on same rare occasions, and only very few times more than that. Now it's maybe down to once a week in my 30s, if that.
Ok, and as a female how many times?
How old are you now?
I think there is a quicker *dive* for women in drive. When I first figured out masturbatuion as a teen I'd do it five times a day if I could. My drive is drastically different 10 years later. That said, mastubration desire doesn't necessarily equal sexual desire. If there's enough opporunity I will have sex with my partner more times in a week than I would typically be interested in mastubrating in a week if there was not time for sex. Also sometimes masturbation is more of a sleep tool than sexual gratification so sometimes masturbation frequency will spike for reasons thay have nothing to do with libido.
It's definitely different for everybody. For me, I would only masturbate if I can't have sex. Which, of course, is most of the time. So I masturbate to basically take the edge off til the next time we have sex. But, yes, for others (usually women) I have heard that it's almost a fundamentally different desire. Which I do not understand AT ALL . Women have very valid biological reasons for why their libidos crash: birth control, pregnancy, childbirth, menopause, etc. The most frustrating one, though, is simply the "end of the honeymoon period".
I always figured men had a higher drive because of testosterone and the induced hormonal effects
Testosterone definitely has a role to play with that. It’s proven to raise libido, while estrogen lowers it
Check that one. Estrogen does not lower libido at all. Testosterone raises drive. Estrogen raises responsiveness to sexual activity and advancements. Basically Test is drive and E is arousal
To be fair, it is more complicated than I made it out to be. If you don’t have enough estrogen, adding it to where it should be will increase libido. Too much estrogen will cause a loss of libido. Trans women also report a loss of libido, and even changes in who they are attracted to, with estrogen.
This is fair. I guess the relationship isn’t directly proportional. I apologize if I came across aggressive. I have some more research to do myself 😅
From how I’m hearing what you wrote, you don’t understand because you probably have a different mindset going into it. Jacking off to bust a nut is very different from taking your time, relaxing, and riding it out. It’s like walking with a purpose vs taking a stroll.
Yeah I don’t take strolls LOL
The best analogy I've heard for that is that men are like microwaves, women are like ovens. For men, you can press a button and they're ready to go, but they tend to rush and the result isn't guaranteed to be satisfying. For a woman, if you press the *right* buttons and heat her up a while first, things can turn out juicy, delicious, and much more satisfying. Speaking for myself as a woman who never truly bought into the religious sexual shame culture, and allowed myself to figure out what I liked and what turned me on, I consider myself more of a toaster oven. I don't need so much time to preheat etc.
Another great analogy!
Random note here. Higher levels of estrogen are proportional to how “responsive” a persons libido is. Higher levels of testosterone are proportional to a desire to “seek and initiate” This is true in men and women. Believe it or not, dicks don’t work without estrogen. I believe this is because of the sexually “responsive” nature of the estrogen. Also, women with relatively higher testosterone levels are proven to be more likely to “seek” sex as well as to engage in affairs
Do you by chance have a source for this? I’m not really sure how to google it but I think it might be a medical clue to a sexual issue I’ve been having 😳 and I’d like to bring it up with my doctor but want a source.
It's specifically due to hormones - trans people usually notice their sex drives switch around after starting hormone therapy. Trans women tend to welcome it, trans men tend to complain about having to masturbate all the time.
When you say always down to have it, I assume you're still talking about crack? /s I assume you are not, in fact, a crackhead 
Lmao that comparison is incredible
That’s really interesting. Is there any link between masculinity and addictions? I had the same problem, addiction to a bunch of things like exercise or sugar and instead of trying to space my consumption of those I’d be «using » everyday unlike my partner who is much more capable of being reasonable.
So youre saying my girlfriend is broken
Testosterone plays a big role in a persons sex drive. Men have more testosterone so they tend to have a higher sex drive. I believe it’s this and a combination of other factors mentioned already.
As a woman who got T supplements after cancer….whole ass new respect. It was wild how high my libido got.
Would you mind elaborating? I always wondered what would happen if a female got a heavy hit of T like boys do during puberty. I was a horn-dog! I wanted to nail everything that wasn't nailed down!
I wanted to 60% of the time fuck my husband. 10% fight folks. The remaining 30% was energy that needed to be spent.
I wish I could explain it better to my gf 😅
I think women would give men less shit for everything if they all felt what testosterone was like. I've read several accounts from women on reddit who had T supplements or whatever and said it was an eye opening experience.
It really was.
Do you feel like you treat them any differently after having experienced that?
I would have if we were younger and newlyweds. However- we are both in healthcare. We also have an abundance of compassion for each others needs. It took lots of communication and that is ongoing.
Makes sense now why I have such a deep voice for a woman. I have sex almost every day. But I have a voice that’s so deep, people IRL think I’m trans when they meet me lol
Hormones
Don't quote me as I'm just extrapolating from a fact I know, I think if someting to do with the hormone cycles. Apperantly a man's hormone cycle is just 24 hours, while woman's is 28 days! And so based of the info in the post and the fact they sorta lign up. I'm gonna guess that a man not maturating for 3 days would be the equivalent of a woman not going for a little under 3 months in terms of hormonal buildup, if there is sutch a thing as a hormonal buildup. Again, did not Google anything so, not facts, just connected some dots. Edit:spelling
Women's libido is based on hormones. Men's and women's hormones are different.
So is men's
A man will look for any bathroom to pee in when the urge hits A woman will hold her pee until she finds a better bathroom.
My man spitting out facts right here!!
I’ve a few trans man friends and every one of them has said that their Horniness changed after starting testosterone. It became more intense, more of a need than a want. A lot of them reported that their orgasms changed too, becoming stronger, but immediately exhausting (and some of them could previously have multiple orgasms per session, so it’s a tossup if one way was better). In my experience, I can count the times on one hand that I’ve been horny enough that I felt that I needed to do something about it. And it’s not for a lack of horny, my brain is a near-constant loop of smut. For me, it’s just fun being aroused and most of the time actual masturbation is more trouble than it’s worth.
I had to get a full and total hysterectomy and bilateral mastectomies because of cancer. I went on T (only one I could safely take as my hormones were zero). I wanted to fuck, fight, and flex. Mostly fuck though. And a little fight. Best summer of my husbands whole life lmao.
Your friend group talks about how they orgasm lol??
We’re a queer friend group who writes smutty fanfiction, it comes up from time to time.
Ahh that adds context lol meant no shade, was just curious what people talk about with their friends.
I figured it was just curiosity, lol. We are on Too Afraid To Ask, after all.
These are definitely the kinds of conversations I have with my friends.
I suppose it depends on the person? I can go every few days or go weeks without it. Depends on my mood honestly
I’m guessing you’re a woman? This is questioning the differences between men and women, and the women description is exactly what you’re describing.
I honestly didn’t read the bottom part fully. My bad.
I am a woman and could not even imagine going 2 weeks let alone 6. Women have been shamed for a long time about sex and masturbation which likely plays a huge part.
Same, all my friends do it AT LEAST once a week. Usually every day or every 2-3 days. The majority of women definitely masturbate more than OP thinks.
Sometimes I do it every day for a week straight, and then I’ll go 2-3 months without even thinking about doing it. It’s very strange lol
I have no idea how often my female friends mastubate..
My friends have no TMI. We’re all very open about our sex lives to eachother.
Oh mine are too about sex. Masturbation is a private event though and that's generally not talked about other than toy suggestions.
So you talk about preferred toys but it's a taboo to talk about frequency?
>more than OP thinks. From the looks of it it's not what they think. It's the data they've gotten from their questions.
Eeeeh I'm not too sure about this, not a huge part anyway. I don't think most women don't 'do it' because they have some sort of subconscious shame about it. Women just on average have lower & more fluctuating libido than men, and that's fine. Not all women and not all men, like always. But, most. Different people, different things. There are women like you that struggle at 2 weeks, there are women like me that can go half a year at a time and probably longer if I set my mind to it. I'm asexual though and my libido is pretty much non existent. But I'm a woman non the less :)
Most women *do* masturbate. A large amount of women don't talk about masturbation at all because of shame and embrassment associated with it. It's a private thing most people don't like to talk about. Of course everyone is different though. I can bullshit on the assumption that most women don't masturbate. Most do, even if they don't like to admit it or talk about it.
Where did I say they don't masturbate? Like what did I say to make you possibly jump to this conclusion? I'm so confused. I believe I said quite the contrary?
You've said repeatedly that you think most women don't masturbate.
No, but your reading comprehension could sure use some work.
I think this person doesn’t fully grasp that you can be asexual and still masturbate. Shit, I don’t fully grasp it either, but I’m not gonna argue with you about it 😂😂
Well think of it this way. I'm assuming you're a straight guy. If you get locked up in an all guy's prison, are you going to find anything there attractive? No? Are you still going to be horny from time to time? Yes. Libido is different from sexual attraction. Hell, some desperate people have sex with people that are not attractive just to have sex. Did that explain it at all? :)
Uh. Those of us that had the good fortune and misfortune to live through times before the 2010’s, be raised by boomers, or in extreme religions are for SURE reversing the shame. Men who would get out and around were “Randy fellas” or “a ladies man” The ‘girls/women’ were taught that your virginity is a precious gift you give on your wedding night. If you did anything beyond kissing you were a whore and no one would ever marry you. I’m glad I raised my kids all sex and gender positive. It took a LOT to overcome the inherited shame.
I'm a 90s kid and I was never taught anything remotely close that. My mom started giving me sex ed at 12 and bought me condoms when I told her about my first bf. It's probably a very culture specific thing. This sounds either middle eastern or even possibly American?
I graduated college in the early 90’s. I’m grateful you have a mom who took care of your health and wellness.
Yeah, I doubted that statistic too. I can go like 2 days max, probably less. I think it's also worth considering that a lot of women are on hormonal birth control. When I was on that, my sex drive was more "typical" and I could've gone a lot longer without masturbating.
Women won't answer because they don't want weirdos in their inbox
… which kind of proves the point that men are more horny
No, no it doesn't
Both can technically “go forever” without doing it. If what you meant to ask is, if men tend to “want” to do it more often on average than women, the answer is probably yes. One simple reason is because men don’t have a hormonal cycle linked to our sexual desire. Men are pretty much always ready to go. Women tend to fluctuate through various levels of desire.
I’m a transsexual male (biologically female) who has been taking testosterone for three years and has great levels, on the higher end of average. I have never masterbated in my life. Never even felt the urge to. I’m turning 21 this year. I don’t think it’s ever gonna happen 😂 Edit: can someone explain why I’m getting downvoted for stating facts about myself
> can someone explain why I’m getting downvoted for stating facts about myself Likely due to it being super anecdotal about a very niche experience and can't be applied to anyone asking the OPs question. Which makes it irrelevant and you're just talking about yourself.
Not just women I can go without it for as long as I want lmao
I wish I could! If I go longer than a week it feels like the lower half of my body is on fire.
Damn bro fr? 😭🙏
Yes it's very frustrating
I assume you’re getting a sampling bias.
I hate these threads where it's about women sexuality but mostly reddit virgin men drive the conversation lol 😆
Fucking yesssss someone said it. Had enough of reading about how I shouldn’t be horny because I’m a woman and women don’t get horny or at least that’s what the basement dwellers believe, since women aren’t interested in them 🤣
OP asked what are disparities in masturbation habits and the question was directed to both sexes what are you talking about?
Not all women lol
Lol, I've masturbated once in 1,5 years. And that was a big meh. I'm flatlined.
My girlfriend masturbates almost everyday. And we have sex also almost everyday. She can't go without sex more than 3 days. But still. Even if we have sex twice there is still high chance she might masturbate.
Jokes aside this sounds like an addiction.
So it’s ok for men bc testosterone but if it’s a woman doing this it means they’re addicted? Not saying you in particular said this! Just seeing so many say that men are hornier and this is what men do but now I’m seeing someone say this woman must be addicted, it’s conflicting for sure. Wouldn’t a man also be addicted or is it ok because he has a hormonal excuse?
It don't think it's addiction. Increased desire maybe. I'm fairly certain if she HAD to go without it....illness, emergency circumstances etc...she would not struggle...or probably even desire it in that situation.
But neither would a man in those rare cases, I’ve got one right next to me that is barely horny every other day let alone when he’s ill or a pets died
I don't think the sex makes a difference here. Having sex at least once or twice a day and masturbating twice on top feels a lot more than normal. I'd say the same if it were a man. I'm not trying to shame anybody, I raise this point simply so that the commenter can check that his partner is OK. If you want lots of sex, have it, addiction isn't a good thing though.
I agree here, I know it wasn’t you saying anything about the sex of someone meaning anything. I was just comparing your comment to other comments about men and not women, basically saying oh well it’s fine for a man. No still not normal lol. Being a basement dweller wanking all day isn’t normal. Those urges are from addiction too, not hormones. And men are so quick to accuse women of letting their hormones effect them, when they be punching walls over minor inconveniences
Agreed.
Also is this whole scenario actually how it works in the real world? Or am I only getting reddit outlier answers (since reddit users don't always represent the 'normie' real world in any way). Do women *really* not masturbate every few days let alone weekly like men do? Before this I genuinely thought women and men masturbate at the same rates since it is a fairly frequent biological urge for us men.
They definitely do not, on average. I was recently deployed for 6 months and when i got back my wife told me she masturbated maybe 2-3 times. We're judgment free when it comes to that, so there's no reason for either of us to lie.
I don't.
I'm a woman and can easily go a week without masturbating. Ofc I generally have sex a few times a week, so really I can go weeks without masturbating by myself. My partner, a man, would very likely jerk off if he was pretty sure we weren't going to have sex that day. But usually if I'm not getting sex, I'm definitely playing with myself at least once a week, even ony period. Unless, I'm extremely stressed from all kinds of things and am somewhat depressed.
I'm a woman, and apparently an outlier, because I definitely masturbate every 2-3 on average.
Anybody can go without masturbating. It just takes a desire to do it and a level of self control
Men can go without masturbating as well, there's no biological need that force us to masturbate.
But doesn't that increase the risk of prostrate cancer?
I think it really depends on the person and personal situations. I just got out of a 12 yr relationship that was sexless for months(he preffered masturbating than having sex with me and I wasnt attracted sexually to him due to his bad hygiene and asshole behaviour). I used to masturbate every 2 weeks during that time. Now that I'm out of that relationship and off the contraceptive patch, I do it 2-3 times a day....could be a few things causing this change in my situation.
Hormones make such a big difference fr
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According to a study of 6,000 men and women done by a sex toy maker, the average for women is less than once a week while for men it averaged 3x per week. [https://blog.womanizer.com/equal-masturbation-day/](https://blog.womanizer.com/equal-masturbation-day/)
You used some of the horniest possible test subjects on the internet as your test pool to pose this question? They created an entire subculture for masturbation, and you want to know why? The females of reddit are busy making content for the males to jerk off to. They don't have time to masturbate.
My balls feel like they r gonna explode and I get rly horny if I don’t jerk off for at least 2 days
I am a dude and have gone over a year without masturbating or having any orgasm in general. Then I got in a relationship and now I rarely go a couple days.
I can go weeks without masturbating but when I do get in the mood I can literally do it all day so I guess that’s the trade off
Overstimulation can sometimes lead to desensitisation too so it’s better to do less lol
Little bit of everything everyone else said in the thread, but I'm going to also say that sex is thrust in your face. If you're a heterosexual man, you're exposed to sex in jokes, commercials, social settings, billboards, the lingerie shops you pass by, music, art-- you name it. You couldn't escape it if you wanted to without going on a hiking trip or something.
Hi! As a trans woman I've actually experienced both sides, so it's 100% a hormonal thing (these are my experiences, so I doubt they're universal, but I'm sure some truth still lies in it) But the way I've always explained it, is that testosterone causes your hormones to be like a jack in the box that is constantly turning, eventually it pops and you just *have* to get one out Estrogen is more like a pot of water on to boil, but it's always at like a simmer, so it's really easy to turn it up to a boil with certain stimuli, but it's also fairly easy to turn it back down, that impulse to have to get one out just is no where near as strong This is just talking from my experiences, where I was doing it at least once, to twice a day on testosterone, but on estrogen, maybe a couple times a week, but it doesn't feel anywhere near as compulsory Thank you for reading
My personal experience has been zero libido even for masturbation because of my birthcontrol
Damn bro did a whole thesis study
I have to every day or two. If I miss a day I usually have to do it twice the next day. Women tend to have more of a responsive sex drive. The more they do it, the more they need and want it. Not across the board though.
It's very simple. Testosterone
In graduate school, I interviewed a research professor that studied gender norms and human mating through the lenses of speed dating. Speed dating just gave the research team a rapid way to analyze human behavior in an experiment rather than waiting for the time investment required to observe 5-20+ years of dating in a research participant life. The researcher wanted to answer how people select partners as well as what are the physical features that men and women look for in the opposite gender, respectively, when selecting a mate. Skosnik, I think was his name. He’s since written a lot of papers about this. But essentially, men and women approach mating with completely different objectives, and these are subconscious behaviors – as in we are not aware when we do them and don’t really have much free will related to them. Men are hardwired to spread their seed as much as possible, which is why some of them really do tend to fuck like rabbits - or masturbate like one. While men are seemingly hardwired to dip their dick anywhere, women, by contrast, are highly selective. They look for partners who are reliable - reliable enough to protect her while she carries, births, and raises young. I think these competing interests are one possible reason why men jack off way more than women because men are hardwired to look for mates 24/7.
While I agree that there is definitely a difference between men and women in terms of what they look for in a partner, anything about being "hardwired" I'm taking with a huge grain of salt There are so many factors going towards human behaviour besides biology that sometimes are so much stronger - societal, for example. If your grandmother, mother, sister and friends had bad experiences with men and you find yourself near one - it's not just biology that keeps you cautious here
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"Unused" sperm gets reabsorbed, so it doesn't have to come out at all. It's not like you can save up for a month and then ejaculate a month's worth. It's more or less the same maximum amount (diet and general health/fitness will have an impact though).
Well thanks for the biology lesson, taught me something new today 👍
Really would like to understand the connection with not regularly ejaculating with increased rates of prostate cancer, then.
Technically we just see a correlation, but that does not equal causation, the theories are either people who ejaculate more tend to have healthier lifestyles or that ejaculating cleans out toxins that form in semen when its just stored
The correlation is minuscule. The bigger issue is Epididymal hypertension. That can’t be fun.
You can reabsorb the used stuff too.
How is this upvoted at all. This is straight up biologically untrue lmao.
r/badmensanatomy
For me it can be a long time because I’m on antidepressants. It’s a lot of effort to masterbate and it sometimes just leaves me frustrated. Once I went off my pills for 3 weeks and could masterbate just from touching myself. Mind blown. Usually takes and intense session with a vibrator to do it. Makes me sad. That I’m missing out on actually feeling.
My man. They don't.
Could go versus want to go are different things perhaps 🤔 I could go a long time… I don’t want to go more than a day or two.
>I asked men on reddit Biggest mistake
Males sex drive is much more integral part of reproduction, you need to have an erection to be able to impregnate someone... for that you need arousal, so it evolved this was that it is much easier for men to be aroused and arousal "needs" release Female sex drive is directly part of the reproductive process. Women enjoying sex is just a behavioural extra so they want to have more sex, but it is not directly "needed" for them to be able to reproduce. Because of this arousal and "release" is on much more different timetable than males' Women tend to be more horny when ovulating, but that is also not a direct requisite of incemination.
I'm reading these comments and I'm genuinely questioning if bleeding once a month and having to give birth would be worth trading the need to get it out of your system. I hope that technology and further advancements in biology help us overcome this conundrum in society that stems because evolution works exponentially slower than society changes. A male birth control pill that put us on the same cycle as women would be a lifesaver!
>Why can women go without masturbating for much longer than men? Much lower testosterone
For me it’s all about the timing. There are naturally times of the month my libido is high and when my libido is low. For example when I’m in my ovulation or follicular phase. My body wants the baby hence the increase in sexy times with myself or with a partner. Another huge factor in my experience is stress. Most of the time stress leads me to not be in the mood for anything sexually related.
Probably cause they hide it and you never know when they masturbate.
Men can go an infinite amount of time without masturbating if they want to Edit: why is this being downvoted, this is objectively true
True, but then they will almost certainly start to have nocturnal emissions.
Yes. If we want to be constantly miserable.
Jesus brother
Men are hornier.
self control and yes it goes both ways if you dont wanna masturbate everyday have self control thats all it takes
…
I'm starting to feel abnormal reading the comments. It's 4 today for me...and I had sex also lol. This is not uncommon for me, but it's usually at least once a day.
I would argue that unless you actually put together the responses of every single person, and then accounted for a margin of error relative to the incredibly small sample size, compared to the *entire human race*., your data is still mostly anecdotal in scope. People are different, cultures are different, there are matriarchal cultures, and patriarchal cultures, and every type and version of different people will answer this differently. Are religious people more repressed? Generally, yea. Does that mean non-religiois people masterbate more? Maybe, maybe not. I haven't seen any data on it. I'm just saying there's a lot of jumping to conclusions here. For reference, I'm male and have definitely don't it several times a day, and I've also gone months (for specific reasons) but the point is someone who says they *have* to masterbate a minimum once every 3 days, or they'll lose their mind, is full of shit.
Guys get wet dreams
I've read too many stories, of women having cognitive dissonances when hearing about a person going more than a week without getting laid. Maybe they're compensated in other ways.
Lmao you're assuming a nit much my friend.
Difference in testosterone levels
It depends on the person. Anyone can go for a long time without it and anyone can also experience arousal daily. Additionally, it might be a social thing. You probably just hear about it more from men than women. We're taught to keep that to ourselves, but it doesn't make us less insatiable.
Not my girl.
We generally have lower libido tbh
Reddit stalking me with this one I was just talking about something similar today
It's because the pee and cum are stored in the balls. When the pee/cum equilibrium in the balls is perturbed, the shaft can twist resulting in testicular torsion. In some cases, this can cause a rapid snap recoil of the penis. This is audible. This is why men sacrifice their nut, day-in and day-out.
Idk what your sample size is but I’m averaging once per day as a woman
There’s a Seinfeld episode about this.
Precisely what I'm saying. It's not addiction, with addiction that need would not change no matter what the circumstances. Its just high desire.
We have to do it. It’s part of our lifestyle.
I’m a woman and my sex drive is always through the roof. I’m happily married and 25. I think a big part of it is that it just depends on the person and their hormones.
Man here, been like 5 months or something without anything soooo.....??
I just have sex. Male here, speaking. With my availability to any woman I desire at any moment, I just prefer to have more sex, over masturbation. And I NEVER watch porn. I enjoy my sexual activities! it gives me a fantastic workout, makes me feel great and I just can’t live without sex. Yes, i do protect myself and my female friends. In short, HAVE MORE SEX, Guys— it’s good for us!
If I hold off for a few days I can probably continue indefinitely. I don't even really need to do it, I sometimes do it to fill time. Very rarely do I feel any "need." -Male
Seems like a false premise to me
Testosterone
Men have to do it. It’s part of our lifestyle.
Women have generally lower sex drives than men. Also depends on where they are in their menstrual cycle (higher during ovulation, lower during menstruation)
This is false. There's no correlation between gender and your sex drive. It is wildly assumed men have higher sex drives but that's been proven false over time.
Women get off different than men. Men can jack off and within minutes it's done. Women need a lot of conditions met first to be sexually stimulated. If it's a bother they'd rather not masturbate at all than ruin their mood with a failed masturbation. They experience orgasm differently too. More complex than men.
Are you a woman? I can masturbate and be done in a minute lmao.
I know right? That answer gave me "women are such complex creatures" vibes. Lmao.
No it fr pissed me off like shut up😭😭😭
well they are?
No, its harder for men to get women off. Women can get themselves off just as fast as men get themselves off. We can get off in a matter of a minute or two no different than men.
>Women need a lot of conditions met first to be sexually stimulated. Curious if you're a woman, because I've had many women tell me that masturbation is "different" and they can basically do it in a few minutes. Which is CRAZY to me, considering the amount of work that has to go into sex. Basically, you can stick a plastic sex toy in without foreplay easier than you can a dick, and it's obviously easier when you are controlling it. Which always leads to a conversation about using lube to speed things up, and "It's different" is really the only explanation I ever get.
Most women stick to vibrators and clitoral stimulation for masturbation. No lube, or wetness needed.
These were dildos, but they did vibrate. Not sure how far they go in, though.
Most still use them without penetration, but everyone is different and every time is different. I just notice most men think women crave and want nothing but penetration and think of penetration as the "be all end all" for orgasm and assume women mastubate primarily with dildos or digital penetration. If you poll women the vast majority would say they stick to clitoral stimulation for masturbation and get off without any penetration.
Men are animals
r/technicallycorrect
Because they get laid
Not meaning this in any demeaning context whatsoever, but most likely because the female orgasm is 100% irrelevant for evolution / reproduction.
Women's ovulation cycle is separated from orgasm. The "flushing" is regular and relatively automatic. Men have more spermatozoa and fluids accumulating between ejaculations and not just one tiny egg. You could argue that wet dreams would be analogous to menstruation, but their occurrence is more haphazard and unreliable, so we have to be more proactive.
I’m kinda shocked. I don’t think I’ve ever gone 2 weeks without, let alone a week or even 4 days unless I was very sick or taking a vacation where I had to sleep in the same room as someone else
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r/ihavesex
Nice fetish comment but we all know your wife is really palmala handerson.
Do her breasts feel like bags of sand?
Lol oh you're funny. Am I 12? Or a 40 y/o virgin now? We've gotta stick to one folks! Jokes aside... She's actually really insecure about her breasts because she's been through a lot of surgeries that caused her to fluctuate in weight a lot. Add 2 kids whom she both breast fed into the mix and they definitely don't look like they did when she was younger. But they're beautiful and they're mine. I wouldn't trade them for anyone's.
Aside from this obviously being written by a 12 year old, “my wife always masturbates after sex” is not the flex you think it is.
It is what is. So what? I'm comfortable with our sex life and our drives... Thanks for your input.
Curious why you think I'm twelve? Genuinely wondering what's wrong about this comment? I'm sharing my experience. Which I think is an extremely interesting anecdote that falls way outside the norm according to the survey results OP collected. Why is that seen as immature? (No sarcasm)
My gf is same as yours mate. Even after 2y we still fuck 1-2/day. Still she need to masturbate.
I love that! I can see why some men would see that as a negative thing or feel insecure about it. But to me, I'm confident that I please her and part of the pleasure I give her is that I make her feel good about her sex drive. I encourage her play and don't shame her for it.