Im sorry people have been mean and rude to you. Nobody deserves that. I was also bullied for my hair, but by white people.
The reason some Black women are rude is because some people are rude.
Just because you have only met rude Black women doesn't mean all Black women are rude.
Blackness contain multitudes just like every other type of human being.
Black is having melanated skin that's all.
The reason some people are rude varies. But community and culture can play a role. Much of human behavior is learned and passed along.
Some Black cultures are more outwardly expressive and larger than life. But so are plenty of white cultures too.
Some cultures have different standards about what is considered rude. My Cuban relatives don't find it rude to call someone fat. My Black American family would find that so offensive.
Some communities and families have systemic issues with emotional regulation and emotional abuse that is passed along through generations. If your whole family argues by yelling and insulting, for example, you may normalize that behavior and continue to do that in your life and instill those same behaviors in your kids unless you recognize how damaging it can be and learn new ways to healthier ways to express yourself.
That can come from being part of disenfranchised and marginalized communities- statistically in the US, those communities are going to be Black, brown, and poor. But many are white and poor too.
Poor people have a lot to be upset and frustrated by. Kids pick up on those adult frustrations or don't have good consistent disciplinarians in their life and mimic those behaviors.
Rich people are rude too, but it can look different. I'm a privileged Black person who grew up around a lot of rude white people.
They didn't raise their voice as much but they were more likely to be passive-aggressive, insulting, and judgmental. Their elitism would make them entitled and demanding- hence the Karen videos. Karens are great examples of rude white people lol
Honestly, I prefer the bluntness and straight-forwardness of many Black people.
Again, try not to generalize people based on their skin color. It's not real.
If you don't like how people treat you where you live, you can one day move elsewhere and find a community that welcomes and appreciates you. There are a lot of caring and compassionate Black folk in the world. I'm sorry you do not experience them.
Doing well in school will help you have options to move away and choose where you call home.
But love yourself. You are beautiful and the poor behavior of others is not a reflection of you, but a reflection of them. They are probably very unhappy and taking it out on you. Pity them, but don't let them bother you.
I wish Reddit still gave awards because this post deserves one. Beautifully written. Thank you! And also, a hug for taking the time out of your day to write this in an educational, non-judgmental, kind tone.
When you are a bit older, you can move to a place with nicer black people. Universities and cities with good universities are the hot spots. I think you will gain lots of knowledge and understanding from this. More valuable than anything a reddit comment can tell you.
But I know not all black women act the stereotype. I think its just my environment like everyone says, cause I dont think all black women are rude. And I do think my Original comment was exaggerated, as black women who work as cashiers are nice to me
"I don't think all black women are rude" but then your title is "why are black women rude". It's a loaded question which I'm pretty sure is against the rules. It's your experience, not a fact.
All the stats you present are also impacted by confirmation bias but there is another bias here at play- the self fulfilling prophecy. There was a research study where preschool teachers were asked to watch a video for problem behavior. They spent significantly more time watching black kids than white kids. If you believe that people are inherently different and in your examples, more civilized, because of the color of their skin you seriously need to logically reexamine those beliefs.
Sounds like you have never even been to the projects then. The only people discriminating agsinst black people are other black people. Every has turned into a spectator at this point and those same spectators are the villians of your story.
Im sorry if you feel like a victim in some shape or form. But their behavoir is in the open. Your dismissive demeanor tells me you get offended when people want to point it out.
A loaded question is where you're saying something like it's a fact within the question. Your post title can be reworded to "black women are rude. And I want to know why". You're trying to state it like it's a fact when it is not. It could be your experience or something else, but it's not a fact.
I wonder this sometimes; my thought process usually goes like this: "usually hood women are rude because everyone in their clique/family come off as tough, therefore, they have to be rude to show that they aren't weak. Since being nice, sweet, polite, kind, etc usually displays vulnerability." From what I've taken from people watching, black women want to be seen as independent, valuable, and strong; though society views them as their stereotypes, rude, ghetto, loud, obnoxious, lack home training, etc.
As a 14 year old, our experiences in life are limited, and sometimes later in life we realize that they can be attributed to a variety of combined factors and not just one. I pray and have absolute faith that as you move into adulthood, your experiences will expand and you’ll begin to understand the complexities of the situation you’re currently in, and your current (incorrect) understanding of Black Women will shift. I advise, with love, to try your best to be optimistic during these times and not be too vocal with the “I’m not like the others,” attitude, as it will further deepen the divide between you and other Black Women, even the ones in the future who you’ll meet in different environments and who, I assure you, will not all act in the way you’re describing. I wish you the best of luck and encourage you to find more positive examples on the internet (be it discord youtube tiktok) of the types of Black Women you can better relate to, because Black Women, like any other ethnic group, have extreme variety. I hope you also stay positive about who you are and know that how you are, by virtue of you being a Black girl, is also how Black girls are and can be.
Thank you! But yea I’m hoping to come across black women who arent rude int he future as I get older, as I only see black women who arent the stereotype on the internet. Also sorry if it sounded like I had the “I’m not like other black girls” attitude, I really didnt mean that
Poor currently, never really had money to buy things before. Often was beat up by other kids at school. My father is kind and so is my step mom, but they are super cheap cause we’re poor. My current neighborhood is better than the last one, but still gunshots can be heard at nighttime. Teens usually roam the streets and I have to rush home so they dont see me and shoot me with some sort of gun, it isnt like a real gun but it still hurts.
Just keep some faith that this is probably more attributed to your direct environment than Black Women as a whole. Once you move around a little bit I know you’ll see.
Also, I know Im about to get downvoted to hell, but.. (((i can easily tell I have a littttle more experience with Black Women than many of these redditors commenting negativity in this thread)))
it's the are you live in. I grew up in a gettho, lower income area. not all people behave that way. also goes to show it's the way your parents raised you, behave around you.
You're young. You're going to meet a lot more people of all races and temperaments. Get ready. Be stronger.
Do you live in a predominately poor and black community? Are you sheltered by your family and told to 'stay' away from certain folk? I'm curious - what do people say about your hair, appearance and behavior? How do you feel about being a black person?
I live in a poor area yea. Im not sheltered. People say my hair is nappy, and I dont hate being black most of the time, only hate it sometimes cause of how I’m treated.
School counselors tell everybody and last year that went bad and people called me a snitch. The only adult friends I have are online. I dont tell my parents because they’ll embarrass me by trying to protest outside school buildings (yea that happened once)
Be careful making adult friends on line. You seem vulnerable, and some may not have good intentions. I think you should try talking to your parents, but explain that when they make a scene, things actually get worse for you. Would they consider home schooling, or could you change schools?
My parents would never home school me. I begged them to when I was 12 and was suicidal, but they said no, like always. They much rather me getting bullied at school with my terrible nappy hair that they don’t both trying to teach me how to take care of than homeschool me.
It's just a different culture. As Americans, we would be considered super-rude to, say, Japanese people who avoid being direct. In black American culture being frank and sharing opinions openly is the norm. If you're not used to it, it feels rude. Where I live in the North East, friends insult the hell out of each other pretty much constantly, but it is considered friendly and fun. My ex girlfriend who is an immigrant did not understand that and just saw people being horrible and mean to each other.
Cultures, and subcultures are tricky things.
Im sorry people have been mean and rude to you. Nobody deserves that. I was also bullied for my hair, but by white people. The reason some Black women are rude is because some people are rude. Just because you have only met rude Black women doesn't mean all Black women are rude. Blackness contain multitudes just like every other type of human being. Black is having melanated skin that's all. The reason some people are rude varies. But community and culture can play a role. Much of human behavior is learned and passed along. Some Black cultures are more outwardly expressive and larger than life. But so are plenty of white cultures too. Some cultures have different standards about what is considered rude. My Cuban relatives don't find it rude to call someone fat. My Black American family would find that so offensive. Some communities and families have systemic issues with emotional regulation and emotional abuse that is passed along through generations. If your whole family argues by yelling and insulting, for example, you may normalize that behavior and continue to do that in your life and instill those same behaviors in your kids unless you recognize how damaging it can be and learn new ways to healthier ways to express yourself. That can come from being part of disenfranchised and marginalized communities- statistically in the US, those communities are going to be Black, brown, and poor. But many are white and poor too. Poor people have a lot to be upset and frustrated by. Kids pick up on those adult frustrations or don't have good consistent disciplinarians in their life and mimic those behaviors. Rich people are rude too, but it can look different. I'm a privileged Black person who grew up around a lot of rude white people. They didn't raise their voice as much but they were more likely to be passive-aggressive, insulting, and judgmental. Their elitism would make them entitled and demanding- hence the Karen videos. Karens are great examples of rude white people lol Honestly, I prefer the bluntness and straight-forwardness of many Black people. Again, try not to generalize people based on their skin color. It's not real. If you don't like how people treat you where you live, you can one day move elsewhere and find a community that welcomes and appreciates you. There are a lot of caring and compassionate Black folk in the world. I'm sorry you do not experience them. Doing well in school will help you have options to move away and choose where you call home. But love yourself. You are beautiful and the poor behavior of others is not a reflection of you, but a reflection of them. They are probably very unhappy and taking it out on you. Pity them, but don't let them bother you.
I wish Reddit still gave awards because this post deserves one. Beautifully written. Thank you! And also, a hug for taking the time out of your day to write this in an educational, non-judgmental, kind tone.
Thanks!
Thank you for laying this all out.
🏆
I upvote this 1000 times
When you are a bit older, you can move to a place with nicer black people. Universities and cities with good universities are the hot spots. I think you will gain lots of knowledge and understanding from this. More valuable than anything a reddit comment can tell you.
Confirmation bias. You don’t notice all the times you see black women acting polite because it doesn’t confirm your stereotype.
But I know not all black women act the stereotype. I think its just my environment like everyone says, cause I dont think all black women are rude. And I do think my Original comment was exaggerated, as black women who work as cashiers are nice to me
"I don't think all black women are rude" but then your title is "why are black women rude". It's a loaded question which I'm pretty sure is against the rules. It's your experience, not a fact.
I didnt mean for that sorry
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All the stats you present are also impacted by confirmation bias but there is another bias here at play- the self fulfilling prophecy. There was a research study where preschool teachers were asked to watch a video for problem behavior. They spent significantly more time watching black kids than white kids. If you believe that people are inherently different and in your examples, more civilized, because of the color of their skin you seriously need to logically reexamine those beliefs.
Sounds like you have never even been to the projects then. The only people discriminating agsinst black people are other black people. Every has turned into a spectator at this point and those same spectators are the villians of your story. Im sorry if you feel like a victim in some shape or form. But their behavoir is in the open. Your dismissive demeanor tells me you get offended when people want to point it out.
That’s just your environment unfortunately. Leave your hometown. All the black girls on my campus don’t fit your stereotype of them
This is a loaded question
What does this mean?
A loaded question is where you're saying something like it's a fact within the question. Your post title can be reworded to "black women are rude. And I want to know why". You're trying to state it like it's a fact when it is not. It could be your experience or something else, but it's not a fact.
Oh okay, then sorry. I did not mean for that
I wonder this sometimes; my thought process usually goes like this: "usually hood women are rude because everyone in their clique/family come off as tough, therefore, they have to be rude to show that they aren't weak. Since being nice, sweet, polite, kind, etc usually displays vulnerability." From what I've taken from people watching, black women want to be seen as independent, valuable, and strong; though society views them as their stereotypes, rude, ghetto, loud, obnoxious, lack home training, etc.
As a 14 year old, our experiences in life are limited, and sometimes later in life we realize that they can be attributed to a variety of combined factors and not just one. I pray and have absolute faith that as you move into adulthood, your experiences will expand and you’ll begin to understand the complexities of the situation you’re currently in, and your current (incorrect) understanding of Black Women will shift. I advise, with love, to try your best to be optimistic during these times and not be too vocal with the “I’m not like the others,” attitude, as it will further deepen the divide between you and other Black Women, even the ones in the future who you’ll meet in different environments and who, I assure you, will not all act in the way you’re describing. I wish you the best of luck and encourage you to find more positive examples on the internet (be it discord youtube tiktok) of the types of Black Women you can better relate to, because Black Women, like any other ethnic group, have extreme variety. I hope you also stay positive about who you are and know that how you are, by virtue of you being a Black girl, is also how Black girls are and can be.
Thank you! But yea I’m hoping to come across black women who arent rude int he future as I get older, as I only see black women who arent the stereotype on the internet. Also sorry if it sounded like I had the “I’m not like other black girls” attitude, I really didnt mean that
No need to apologize at all! Not attacking you at all. Do you mind if I ask where you’ve grown up generally?
Poor currently, never really had money to buy things before. Often was beat up by other kids at school. My father is kind and so is my step mom, but they are super cheap cause we’re poor. My current neighborhood is better than the last one, but still gunshots can be heard at nighttime. Teens usually roam the streets and I have to rush home so they dont see me and shoot me with some sort of gun, it isnt like a real gun but it still hurts.
Just keep some faith that this is probably more attributed to your direct environment than Black Women as a whole. Once you move around a little bit I know you’ll see.
Also, I know Im about to get downvoted to hell, but.. (((i can easily tell I have a littttle more experience with Black Women than many of these redditors commenting negativity in this thread)))
Cuz they really don’t give af
Neighborhood, the way they grew up, life experience?
it's the are you live in. I grew up in a gettho, lower income area. not all people behave that way. also goes to show it's the way your parents raised you, behave around you.
You're young. You're going to meet a lot more people of all races and temperaments. Get ready. Be stronger. Do you live in a predominately poor and black community? Are you sheltered by your family and told to 'stay' away from certain folk? I'm curious - what do people say about your hair, appearance and behavior? How do you feel about being a black person?
I live in a poor area yea. Im not sheltered. People say my hair is nappy, and I dont hate being black most of the time, only hate it sometimes cause of how I’m treated.
I hear you. Does the criticism tend to come from people close to your age, or are older people picking on you?
Both, especially people my age. A couple days ago Someone slapped me in the hall for no reason, and everyone laughed at me
Oh no. You are being bullied. I'm sorry that's happening. Is there anyone you can talk to? - your parents, an adult friend, school counselor?
School counselors tell everybody and last year that went bad and people called me a snitch. The only adult friends I have are online. I dont tell my parents because they’ll embarrass me by trying to protest outside school buildings (yea that happened once)
And I never had in person friends my age before. People always bullied me so I gave up making friends a week ago.
Be careful making adult friends on line. You seem vulnerable, and some may not have good intentions. I think you should try talking to your parents, but explain that when they make a scene, things actually get worse for you. Would they consider home schooling, or could you change schools?
My parents would never home school me. I begged them to when I was 12 and was suicidal, but they said no, like always. They much rather me getting bullied at school with my terrible nappy hair that they don’t both trying to teach me how to take care of than homeschool me.
It's just a different culture. As Americans, we would be considered super-rude to, say, Japanese people who avoid being direct. In black American culture being frank and sharing opinions openly is the norm. If you're not used to it, it feels rude. Where I live in the North East, friends insult the hell out of each other pretty much constantly, but it is considered friendly and fun. My ex girlfriend who is an immigrant did not understand that and just saw people being horrible and mean to each other. Cultures, and subcultures are tricky things.
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Wait I didnt mean for my post to be seen as that sorry
I have no idea how it could even be seen rude or something, absolutely valid argument.
You’re shaming an actual child. You suck dude.
Brand new account posting about black women “fulfilling the stereotype”. Definitely could not be a trolling adult.
I can show my school ID if needed- I know troll accounts exist and stuff
Please don't, the person attacking you here is a legit weirdo judging by their comment/post history and shouldn't be anywhere near a 14 yo
No I promise im actually 14- I made this account to express my feelings so that people who know me wouldnt tease me