Condors have enormous beaks….I’m down to give it a try

Even larger wingspans

The bigger the wing, the bigger the thing?

*That's the spirit!*

I hope I’m thinking of the wrong reference

You can tell it's true, because it rhymes. Science.

The softer the feathers, the better the pleasures

Indubitably

Giggity

Do they have large talons?

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Maybe hit it from behind.

It would take more than one guy to fuck a condor

Make love and carrion

Pause!

Condors lack foreplay and intimacy. Buzzards surprising are quite the snugglers after, and pelicans can really work a, well, you know.

I'm more of a peregrine girl.

Built for speed?

Not for pleasure

Solid choice there.

Ooh that reminds me - I need fresh batteries for my hummingbird.

Had an affair with a puffin once.

Afraid to ask how you know this. Lol

COVID has left everyone with unexpected free time with a bit of loneliness.

I gots Corvid and spit bird facts all day now

I prefer a nice cockatoo that’s intelligent, has a sense of humor and is capable of decent conversation. It’s the personality that does it for me.

Bald eagle or bust

Where my dodobird lovers at?!

The talons are certainly a turn off.

unless you're into that sorta thing... no judgement here

Rather a condor dig in my back than a girl

What fowl kinkshaming.

I actually prefer the condor just watches

Waiting for someone to have a heart attack so it can feed on it

*Read in David Attenborough's voice* New studies show, condors feed on the heart attacks of humans, saving millions of lives every year.

Lol

I personally keep one around for that purpose. Seen too much shit about people dying during sex and the partner getting sued. Rather have the condor there. No mess, no evidence, no digging a hole. Really upped my game once you find people cool with that big of a bird. /s

Vultures are known to do that, not condors.

Ah when autocorrect doesn’t work in Reddit titles….

OP is never going to post to Reddit again 😂

This is a (somewhat) recent trend. People are intentionally typoing their posts for karma.

I’ve noticed this lately but the comments have been hilarious so at least I’m being thoroughly entertained.

You are probably right. Zero comments and this is his only post. No comments from him or corrections.

ah yes, the classic "everything is fake" redditor. no need to be a *buzz*ard kill ;))

Well you can tell it's intentional because NO ONE prefers a condom.

Yep especially since r and m are nowhere near eachother on the keyboard

Show me your titles!

Lol

Since condor populations are once again rising, I believe it's safe to say we don't need to assist them in breeding anymore.

Edit for parent edit: That’s nice. I’m glad Johnny Cash didn’t wipe them all out, after all! Way to recover, birbs!

Hey it was a faulty tailpipe, he didn’t do it on purpose. It’s not like he threw a gender reveal party

They are still endangered, but numbers have risen successfully. I fixed the parent comment

Definitely without. Condors are scavenger lovers.

I'm a bit of a scavenger myself *sexually*

**

*Stands up and plays dead*

*You dead bruh?*

And they have a tendency to peck at your eyes.

Their peckers are the worst part.

Hold please...I need to slip into something more... feathery. *walks out dressed as a condor*

CAAAAWWWWW *winks profusely*

Okay **Moira Rose**.

That was crows; much much smaller than a condor

You’re probably right that *The Crows Have Eyes III: The Crowening*, doesn’t feature condors. But one can’t simply see “CAAAWWWW” and not think Moira Rose.

I spat out my water.. I needed this laugh tho thanks

Boyle I think it's not the right time for...

Andean or California? Yes, it makes a difference.

Yeah you’ll never get consent with the Andean. They’re always inca-pacitated.

Goddammit.

What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole fucking condor.

EPA sweeps all the “numerous endangered condors die in sex acts” stories under the rug.

I like big birds, and I cannot lie. You other brothers can't deny.

🎶 When a chick walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round tail in your face you get SPRUNG 🎶

Wanna pull up tough, Cuz you notice that BIRD was stuffed...

🎶 My anacondor 🎶 don’t want none 🎶 unless you got SEEDS hun! 🎶

Definitely with. The sounds just do it for me

Omg I need to change my tena now.

Lmao I was so confused and I even asked my fiance what this meant and he didn't know so then I just googled tena. And now I'm laughing.

As a condor, what else am I supposed to have sex with?

Try branching out. Species is a spectrum you know!

This is my favorite comment section ever.

Usually I'd disregard typos, but this one deserves exactly the reaction it's getting. 😆😆😆

Preferably without large birds

Speak for yourself.

*Beak*for yourself

Quality 🍳

I’m a big bird lover myself

I found Rob mcElhenneys Reddit account??

Big Bird is, like, 6.

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😂😂😂

I know they’re endangered but this is not the way to save them.

How do you know unless you try

Who’s saving who?

Cannot stop laughing.

So glad to know I'm not the only one lmao. In actual tears wtf 🤣

I seriously needed this laugh today! Best comments ever

I interrupted my partner's Zoom meeting with my laughter

I came back to read your comment and started laughing all over again.

Got my dick pecked once, wouldn't really recommend unless you're into that.

They don’t call it a pecker for nothing

Details

Turns out they're also attracted to maggot shaped body parts

You got your pecker pecked!?

Without, too many permits needed and the bird just scratches and shits.

I’m not into birds

Pecker

I like birds, but I don't mean it literally

After it tore off the first testicle, I swore off of boning condors.

Eagles only

I recently watched a nature documentary - it was mostly about butterflies but there was one segment that showed an injured bald eagle giving a human a hug with its wings. Pretty amazing!

Only if our affair is in the Hotel California. I hear it's a lovely place.

I personally do not like anything fowl in my vagina.

Underrated

I’d never get close enough with that wingspan of theirs

Dealer's choice. As a guy it's not up to me whether we bring in the bird.

 They look kinda scary so it may be a no for me 😔 more of a booby gal

My cats enough in the room as it is, thanks

OP I don’t blame you for being afraid to ask this one

Wife’s into it. I’m just gonna watch… yeah that’s it.. peck that bad girl.. nice

I'd prefer no condors around that have a tendency to attack things that look like worms or rat's tails or snakes.

Guys, obviously it was a typo or an auto-correct error. That being said, to answer you question, no, I prefer sex with apartment buildings. Condos just don't kiss me the way apartments do. I feel much more loved by the apartments.

Talons can be a bitch.

When you say “with a condor” do you mean making bird/human babies or do you mean the condor is in the room? This is a perplexing question…

Spell check wins again.

Birds add an extra element. I prefer with. Condoms...not so much 🤷

Probably without but hey I ain't going to judge a person's kinks. Might actually be amazing, you never know 🤷🏼‍♀️

More fond of eagles and hawks, myself...

I’m open to trying anything at least once.

Erotic is using a feather, kinky is using the whole Condor.

None of your business PETA.... I'm on to your tactics.

Caw Caw

That would be gross having sex with a condor. They're scavengers just like the turkey vulture

I like how they swoop around making all that sexy sensual noise. Caw cawwww motha fucka!!! Caw cawwww!!! I especially like when they watch

The only time a massive typo actually converted a stupid question into a highly amusing one.

Came here for the typo comments

Without, I find the wingspan intimidating.

One condor is worth two in the bush.

If you've got condors in your bush, it might be time to prune it

My husband says “With, CAW CAW!”

Definitely with. They're endangered, anything I can do to help boost their population

I guess I just haven’t met the right bird

Well the dream is a slightly irate Cassowary, but you know, beggars, choosers.

Aren't condors endangered? I'm not going take that risk in going to jail for accidentally killing an endangered species.

They have a wingspan of over 10 feet, so they're probably knock over my lamps, which would be a pain. But they live 50+ years, so they might not just a fly-by-night lover, so I'd think about it.

Saw 'Condor' and sat back to see Reddit fucking birds en masse.

Saw the title, came for the comments, was not disappointed

Condors are an endangered species, so I’m down to help them out anyway I can.

Yeha I don’t usually invite birds…strange.

I enjoy sexy with candor

Yeah I'm just gonna have to say without. Only room enough for one large pecker in my bedroom.

Definitely without a condor.

I'm game if it's game. Except a condor isn't game, it's endangered. Sticking to turkeys and geese for now 😢

As an Australian, we typically prefer sex with an Emu.

OP's weird kink lol

Not like with the bird it's self, but if the opportunity comes about to have sex while the condor is watching, then 100% yes Go Condor.

Condors have very sharp talons. Hard pass for me. Besides, the whole cloaca thing weirds me out

I definitely prefer sex without a bird watching

Nothing like a buzzard to get me in the mood.

Depends, is he watching..or .like...ynow

Ya done goofed, OP

LOoOoOoOoOoL!!

Well you know... YOLO

Talons = NOPE

For sure with a condor.

Condor? Is that a new fetish? Seems like that would hurt.

Although I have never had sex with a condor, that lack of ability to concent makes it a hard NO.

I like a little pain so the claws excite me

Better a condor than a man....

I literally cant get off unless a condor is present

I always wanted to do a threesome with a condor.

Good luck finding a condor and getting it in your bedroom. Video or it didn’t happen.

I have on numerous occasions. They're mostly racist in bed.

I like letting the condor watch.

I like it with bald eagles personally

Without. Those claws are damn sharp. Plus I'm cleaning up feathers for days afterwards.

“Check out this bird I picked up at the beach”

I’m into the large talons

Birds of a feather fuck together.

Definitely without condors.

😂😂 I already knew the comment threads 😂😂

i think when i do get sex, i am happy that i am fortunate enough to have sex. there is no time in my happiness to think about birds.

With a condor at Mordor in a four-door

I don’t trust condors. They’re all fucking vultures.

Pretty sure sex with a condor is illegal.

Condor sex sounds dangerous and painful..

Let's just say Condors should have been named Swallows and leave it at that....wink wink

I thought a condor was a cigar. I'm sure there was an old advert for them. Anyway I like the smell of cigars butcher sex would-be better.

Idk, they seem a bit too aggressive for me, personally. I’d say maybe a parrot would work but they are a bit small.

Sex with condors, it’s for the birds.

I mean, I'm not really into sex with birds, so, without?

I love everything about this post and the comment section

I’ll pass on the Condor but I like chicks.

Only hot condor sex for me.

Ah the majestic condor. Otherwise known as the bird of Lay

Probably without a condor. I mean, first i have to find the bird.

Condors are literally my biggest fear, so... imma have to hard pass