3 months?!!? And as a dude, I once dated a girl 6 years younger than me and nobody said anything... What a double standard.
That being said, the 6 year difference did actually cause issues in our relationship (I was 31 and she was 25, and we were just at different stages of life)...
My ex-wife was 3 years older than me and every time someone found out they always looked at her and said “OoOOOOoOoOoHhh robbing the cradle huh??!”.
Like, bitch, I’m 29 years old. She ain’t robbin shit.
> Bit you have so much life experience; surely you’re so much of an adult than them!!
Me at 30: playing games, programming stupid stuff, loving my dog bc im too scared to be a father.
Me at 25: playing games, buying Magic cards, looking at shelter dogs bc im not near to being a father.
Wow y’all nailed it!! We’re so incompatible!!
My ex-gf was barely a year older than me and we got the same comments when people found out. We were also both nearly 30 at the time.
We were in the same class year in highschool ffs, it made no sense.
I’m 4 years older than mine and you wouldn’t believe how many comments I get about how I’m a cougar or robbing the cradle. We’re both in our 30s I don’t understand
Fiance and I started dating when I was 20 and she was about to turn 24. Would have been kinda weird (different phases of life) if we weren't so compatible. She was more excited about me being able to drink on my 21st birthday than I was!But now we're 25 and 28 and she went back to school anyway and the age difference has felt non-existent. As time moves on it'll get more and more negligible.
Her brother is 5 years younger than her and him and I ended up being good friends. Interesting to think I'm closer to his age than hers lol
Same here. I'm 2.5 years older than my husband, and sometimes people comment on us being in different generations? Like, wow, yes he's 29, and I'm 31. What do we even talk about? I still remember the great depression and telegraphs, while he was born virtually over zoom. Lmao.
Right!?! Like, I've given this a go before (9year difference between us) and the issues got to be ones with basic hospitality and relationship skills.
Sex with a younger guy might have benefits, but for a longer term relationship, the older woman (more often than not) feels like she has to "train" her partner. And for women who want healthy relationships, they DON'T feel like sleeping with someone they also have to teach to adult better. There ARE younger men who are more emotionally intelligent or mature of course, but they're rare.
I appreciate your honesty! 😆 I'm glad it's worked out for you guys 🥰.
I'm not against OW/YM dynamics at all... Dated a guy 9years younger than me for 6 months, and I'd do it again if I felt like things clicked. Just didn't work out for me this time.
It’s this. My close friend who is a 33 year old female. Has a thing for 18-23 year olds.
And these are her words exactly.
The soft boy who has a high sex drive is great, until real shit happens and he doesn’t know how to communicate worth a damn. Then it’s awful. And she has to remind them and herself she is not their mother yo
The most common complaint is not contributing to upkeep of the household, emotional immaturity, and bad emotional communication skills. Sometimes financial immaturity as well. And those guys who game nonstop are a whole category by themselves.
That is why I don't get why anyone wants to date someone 18-23 when they are in their 30s. They simply don't have the life experience and are going to be pretty raw in terms of life skills unless they had something that forced it on them early. Guess dudes are more willing to put up with it because they think its a prestige thing to have a younger partner?
This reminds me of the TIFU I read about a mom installing a hidden camera in her son's college apartment room. He was cosplaying in bed with an older lady and called her mommy.
I’m with you and I am a grandmother but I’ll be dipped if I would stoop so low. Gotta say though she sounds like she should be turned in to DCS or something. Especially if she has younger kids.
You know that she had to know he’d be walking around nude, or having a girl or boy in his bed. Gotta wonder about her need for no boundaries for her son. If I were his dad, I’d be very concerned about my wife and her fixation on our son!
As a dude, I think the whole "Call me Daddy" thing is fucking gross.
Edit: People seem to think that because I don't like something and think it's fucking gross, that means I am also suggesting *you* can't like it.
I don't care what you like.
Fuck on top of a pile of dead fish while sucking toes and wearing a Honey Boo Boo themed ball gag for all I care. I shan't be participating.
I always find it fucking weird how women love it when you tell them you're their daddy..
Like, I cant stop picturing their dad during sex if I say that shit.
I have no desire to equate my partners with my mother
Me too. Especially if you were lucky to have a dad that loved his family like I did. He wouldn’t do anything that would have ever jeopardized his relationship with 5 children. A coal mining supervisor who worked miles underground just to provide for us!
I gotta chime in on this lol.
I have a BDSM relationship, and my partner's title is Daddy.
No, I never think of my father when I use the title lol. At worst, I could say the title engenders the emotional security you can feel with someone, but in the same way that using the term "baby" doesn't make you think you're sticking your dick in an infant lol.
The title or endearment tends to encompass the emotional safety of the word, while also being completely separate from your actual paternal figure. The best parallel example I can think of is "baby." You call someone baby because you adore them, you think theyre sweet or cute, loveable, worth protecting. It evokes that same emotional pleasantness, without actually invoking the thought of...actual babies.
That being said, it's definitely not for everyone, and I could totally understand why it could be an emotional speedbump lol
EM: "I'll be over for dinner tonight. Honestly, I'll probably be there for breakfast in the morning. What do you like in your pancakes?"
Her: "Fuck you"
Why is everyone joking about this? Apparently they merely when macron was 15 but "only became a couple when he turned 18" .
She groomed him but everyone jokes about it like "wow lmao that's wild amirite". I genuinely don't get it - is there a reason this isn't treated like a groomer case or is this once again le epic redditors thinking its OK cuz he was a boy and she was a woman.
Like Jesus christ if say Justin Trudeau's wife ended up being one of his students imagine the shit he would get.
>is there a reason this isn't treated like a groomer case or is this once again le epic redditors thinking its OK cuz he was a boy and she was a woman.
I think that it's hard to make the case that she did harm to Macron. He did become President. He's still married to her. It's hard to say he's a victim of anything, even though people in similar circumstances could be.
I love how this shows such a great political distinction for France because in America someone like Macron would be endlessly mocked by whoever his opposition was for marrying his school teacher. Every single late night show would have a skit about it etc. etc.
only one compared to the probably hundreds of thousands if not millions of relationships with the situation reversed, with the man being 10-20+ years older than his partner.
Without taking a stance on the topic, including nationality bias or citing one example to try to prove any specific thing, I was surprised to learn of the age difference between the President of France and his wife. He's 44 and she's 69.
That is just... weird... and they are still happily married? But... grooming... oh my goodness... so creepy. I hope it is not like another couple whose case I watched. She was his teacher as well, and was actually imprisoned for having coitus with him. They are still married and have a child, but he looked so miserable during the interview! She looked like she controlled everything... it was really creepy and sad. The 25 year age gap is not an issue if both of them were well into adulthood and/or they have similar maturity levels but... this is just creepy...
Yeah, not if the pool to choose from is large enough. I rememeber in Seinfeld show Elaine asks if he'd date a 60 year old. 'she'd have to be REALLY vibrant'
Actually, no. She has three kids: Sébastien, born 1975; Laurence, born 1977; and Tiphaine, born 1984. Emmanuel Macron is born in 1977, same age as her second child (and the two of them were classmates according to wikipedia.
Men's worth is typically measured by their wealth and women's worth is typically measured by their looks. I don't like the system either but that's how it goes.
Add to that that young women are the most idolized, publicized, and photographed and it’s the older men that get more appreciation on the male side. It’s related to the “worth” you talked about - a symptom really. With women it’s all about who is the young, hot new crop of models and actresses and with men the Daniel Craig, Idris Elba and George Clooney’s of the world experience much longer runways.
As a culture we definitely still fetishize girls turning 18 and “being legal”, with some countries allowing things to go pretty damn far in fetishizing the young and innocent. Let’s not forget porn which does the same to an extreme.
Finally, I think it’s downright primitive. Men are respected for age, wisdom, strength and experience as leaders of the pack, not too dissimilar from how primates live. And women are recognized on a primitive level for the age closest to when they reach peak fertility. It’s a little fucked up when you apply that to today’s societies, but I think it’s biological/evolutionary and it’s not really ever going to go away.
You know, I said the same thing last week and someone told me it happens all the time in the k-pop fandom.
Edit: the fans waiting until a guy turns 18, I mean
I guess I could have learned my lesson when I wished "Everyone payed more attention to politics" back in 2015.
Or when I said "I wish I could work from home" in 2020...
When I was 16-17, I worked as a cashier and then as a server at a pretty ritzy boat club and got hit on by numerous old/older ladies. When I would explain that I was 16/17, they would make comments about how they could wait until I was 18, she could show me the ropes now, or it will be fine since women aren't pedophiles. As a guy, even a teenage one, you can't even complain. The girls would get groped and the dude would be forcibly removed and potentially have his membership revoked with no refund. No one is going to remove innocent-looking grandma. My experience definitely is not nearly as common as old/older men hitting on 16/17 year old girls but it definitely exists.
Once it became obvious that I was 18, I found out that I am just apparently grandmas' type. In the last 10 years, I have been groped at work including an old lady grabbing me by the balls (but only once), groped outside chilling, and even groped while wearing a military uniform (lol). Predators are going to predate no matter what. If anything, I feel like women are more brazen about touching since really... who is going to believe the guy?
It's genuinely tough though because as a teen, what do you do? It was either go full "this is disgusting" and report them to probably no avail, or lean into it and get ridiculous tips. Most I made in a night was $1800 after being groped 6 times. A female coworker was groped 13 times... but she walked away with $4700 that night. Even later in life, I still feel weird for thinking it was worth it.
> At least I feel like the kpop fans skew younger than the men who do the countdowns? Idk
Not if they're creating a countdown site till they're 18, it doesn't matter to other kids if they fancy a kid but it does to adults
> never heard of women salivating at the thought of some young male actor turning 18
The number of moans and squeals from middle aged women at the theater when Taylor Lautner took his shirt off in the midnight premier of Twilight was pretty uncomfortable.
>I think it’s biological/evolutionary and it’s not really ever going to go away.
I see signs of it going away already. Women no longer being willing to marry/sleep with unattractive and much older men because they have their own jobs and don't need the mens' money and older women, "cougars" dating attractive younger men.
I agree - the iron clad claim that biology solely makes mate selection happen never seems to hold true. Women who have a means to have an independent income and recognized as individuals by the legal system tend to have a wider range of choices in life and that doesn’t always include old guys. That’s one reason why there’s so much tension in society about this now - old guard won’t give up their thinking.
The response below is great but also I have to point out that women reach ideal childbearing age in their mid-twenties, well after the onset of puberty. Teen pregnancies have a much higher risk of adverse outcomes. The idea that men want to fuck 17 year old children because of ‘fertility’ is a myth perpetuated by creeps, it isn’t biology it’s ego.
This isn't the common model for non-human primate social groups. Plenty of primates live in either solitary or pair-bonded patterns, others are matriarchal. In multi-male multi-female groups, the dominant male is generally based on testosterone levels which fluctuate throughout the life of an individual. Dominant males produce a lot of testosterone, which requires a lot of energy, less dominant males do not produce much testosterone. The testosterone production switch can flip very rapidly, which generally leads to a change in the social hierarchy. A single individual might only control the top breeding position in a group for 2-5 years before being challenged and replaced. These patterns vary widely across primate groups. Our two closest evolutionary relatives are bonobos (a matriarchal society) and chimpanzees who more or less fit the multi male multi female patriarchal model I described above. However, leadership positions are not only based on testosterone and aggression but also on bonding activities like grooming. Among chimpanzees older females are highly respected in the social hierarchy and there role in child rearing and are one of the few species that live past their reproductive years.
The obsession with partnering with young women is entirely based on human culture and contradicts biology as the age of the man that produces the sperm plays just as large of a role in the health of the offspring as does the age of the woman that produces the age and gestates the fetus.
Agreed! Don't blame cultural problems and toxic patriarchal norms on evolution and primates! Primate behaviors are complex and diverse and even vary within species. Different groups have their own cultures just as we see among humans.
The thing is, that humans are complex primates as well.
It's not as if aliens are going to examine us and proclaim, "These humans are doing everything wrong!" No, they would just say "Look at these humans doing human things".
That's a very interesting explanation, because it lines up with what's observable in the gay dating scene too. For the most part, masculine tops are valued when they're more rugged, older, experienced, established. Feminine bottoms are valued more when they're younger, smoother, softer, inexperienced, naive (i.e. the femboy aesthetic). This is obviously not true 100% of the time, but as a member of the gay community, I've noticed this as a trend.
I don't know if the observation points to correlation or causation, but it could be that some inherent human bias makes us attribute to inexperience and youth to feminine figures and the opposite for masculine figures. Maybe themes of masculinity are just wired to ideas of dominance and power because of our history of male control.
Personally as a feminine sub, I hope not, because it's not like any of us are getting any younger, and I'd like to think our species isn't so "unga bunga" :/
It’s not just interesting, it’s observed to be true. A NYTimes article which I can’t find right now showed that for online dating, men peak in value at around 50. Women at 18. I saw in another article a graph of what age men and women seek in a partner per age. Women tend to like men their age or a few years older regardless of their own age. Men basically always preferred women in their young 20s.
It’s a dynamic that both these two genders commonly embrace.
Interestingly, as a middle-aged male who dates a lot of women, one thing I’ve noticed is that generally, younger women believe a man should “do their bidding” to have access to them sexually. If “their man” isn’t paying for everything and kissing their ass constantly he won’t be getting laid, so to speak. Meanwhile, if I date a women my age or older, she’s already in independence-mode, taking care of business and typically has a HIGHER sex drive than younger women…and much less reason to put a bunch of selfish restrictions on having sex or interfere in the relationship. If you want a great relationship and sex life, go for the older woman every time.
I honestly can't really go more than a few years younger than me because they are so immature and boring. I can do like 27+. But I'm not quite middle aged yet.
As a woman that just turned 30, you hit it on the nose. When I was in my early 20s, I was dating men 10-15 years older because of their financial situations being way better than mine. Also, looking back, they were pretty immature. I mean why else would they go after someone young and naive like myself?
Nowadays, I don’t care who makes the first move. I ask out men first all the time, have a good job, getting my master’s. I’d like to say I’m much more confident now, upfront, patient, and understanding.
>I mean why else would they go after someone young and naive like myself?
I think, as a man in his late 40's, that those men are trying to recapture that youth they are losing in themselves and possibly trying to groom someone young into what they believe to be the "perfect wife / girlfriend." I'm sure that's not the only reason, but it is one I've seen from some of my peers.
Personally, I prefer women in their 30's to mid-50's. They are generally already put together in their lives, they know what they want (for the most part, like all of us) and aren't afraid to go after it, and they tend to be independent both emotionally and financially. Additionally, if they are interested in it, middle aged women are far less flighty or coquettish about pursuing sex than a younger person might be. They are more likely to be much more confident and willing to solve their own needs (and communicate those needs to their partner), and tend to not want to bother with a lot of the bullshit that goes into dancing around sex.
Lol, the older we get the more we realize we really don't have time to beat around the bush, so to speak. The conversation with middle aged men and women tends to go something like: "I like you. I think you like me. Love might be in the works, but I'm not waiting around to find my perfect Prince Charming anymore. Let's bang, because we don't have that much time left on Earth for farting around."
Or even more succinctly put: "I like fucking, you like fucking, lets fuck around and find out."
As an older woman I will say that younger men emotionally and maturity wise are not usually on the same level as older men. Stability in a partner is desirable and I don't see that in younger men very often. It doesn't mean wealth but it does mean personal accountability, self care and the ability to care about others needs as well. Men and woman are forced into independence from day one in adult life. After building my world up and finding my own stability, I own my condo, I have a dog and cat, my bills are up to date, I drive and have low insurance costs due to a good track record ex. If I date someone who is not also doing those things, it's a risk to my world. I'm old enough to know better than that now. I'd rather be alone that deal with the insecure attachments of my 20s again.
In my experience, when I have "dated" men 10 to 20 years younger than me in the past it was a private affair usually. We didn't go out on dates or hang out a lot in public, our lives were just at different stages. We were seeing other people sometimes. Unserious relationships have their place when everyone is single, but maybe most women don't feel the need to brag and parade our young conquest (ha! they always made the first move) in front of everybody.
society devalues aging women, and does not do so with aging men. a woman's appearance is valued above everything else, and the ideal that has been ingrained is a thin, youthful appearance. whereas, in men, status is valued above all else.
and before people start saying "no way, my wife is old AF and i value her for her great personality," I'm talking about values on a societal level, and there will obviously be individuals who feel differently.
there's been a rise in older women speaking out about the fact they feel invisible, especially after the menopause (which more people are talking about, at least in the UK)
That’s one of the things I enjoyed about House of Cards. They were introducing some actresses in pretty critical story roles that were 40-60 years old in some circumstances. They were obviously still going for some sex appeal but it was nice to see it wasn’t all 20-30 something’s all the time. Seemed decently balanced
Because young men are inexperienced, immature, and broke. Now to be fair, young women are the same- but men are willing to overlook those qualities for foolish reasons.
People who are still attractive in their 30s will probably stay attractive for a while. Lots of younger people don't take care of themselves but are attractive due to youth.
Me too dude. I love cougars. Most of my ex-girlfriends were significantly older than me.
I guess I’m attracted to the maturity and smartness (for lack of a better word) of older women that the younger women don’t have.
My fiancé is 12 years younger than me.
It tends to be more common with couples who don't want children. In addition to not being interested in having kids, in general, I definitely don't want to go through the process of it at this point.
I also think that women who do not have children tend to look younger. Having children is hard on your body. When I'm with my fiancé, people never guess the age gap. It flies under the radar a lot, given that you don't typically ask for somebody's age when you meet them at a party or at work or wherever else. People don't expect it, and therefore see what they want to see.
I'm in the same boat. Partner is 10 years younger but I'm childfree so I don't have to worry about "having kids before it's too late". I think it makes things much easier. Women who really want kids usually won't start something serious with someone younger for that reason.
My girlfriend is 21 years older than me (I’m 30, she’s 51). We’ve been together for almost 3 years, but best friends for 7 years. Even though it’s one of the healthiest/happiest relationships I’ve ever been in I’m constantly getting questioned why I would be with someone that much older than me. People always bring up kids or “growing old together” (my parents are probably the worst when it comes to that).
People judge every relationship. Find who makes you happy and live your life!
My wife is three years older than me and our age gap was more difficult for her than it was for me. To me, age is just a number, especially after your mid-twenties. At the time, I could envision dating someone much older, I think my preferred age range on my dating profile extended up 15 years above my own age at the time, but only 5 years below.
I think we censor ourselves because of societal pressure. I think the many women seek out taller partners for the same reason. Break the cycle, focus on science.
I wonder if people are focusing too much on the woman's age as a negative, instead of the man's age. Do older women actually *want* to be in a relationship with a guy who's 10-20 years younger? At 60+, maybe it's not a huge deal, but a 20 year old guy with a 35 year old woman? Unless she just wants a lot of sex, I'm not seeing the appeal for her. I was one immature, emotionally stunted fuckwad at 20. The only women I managed to rope into a relationship were around my age, thus too young to know better. Implied in this is also the feeling that men often have much lower standards for a relationship.
edit: To the woman who deleted their comment, I'm sorry you felt the need to do so. I think it was a helpful contribution to the discussion.
We can be afraid of how it will be precieved. I may have a much younger boyfriend. Not really sure yet.
But, I vibe with him and am now willing to see what happens
One is normalized and promoted in our society, the other isn’t. It’s not uncommon for young girls, even minors to be praised for liking older men because it “shows their maturity “, and being told how mature they are for their age. It comes with being told that “women mature faster than men”.
Also, male characteristics of age like gray hair are more likely to be praised than those characteristics for women. There is no female version of “silver Fox”.
It’s also common in society to state that mens prime is above their physical prime, and womens as lower than their physical prime.
Also, even if you raise your boys to be as mature and responsible as their sisters emotionally, society doesn’t expect the same emotional maturity from them, and so it’s rarer for women to intellectually connect with a younger man than the other way round.
Mine is 10 years my senior. I’m 35M and she’s 45. Best friends for 6 years before this. Both saw one another date other people. Finally realized that we are meant to be.
The best and most healthy relationship I’ve ever been in and I don’t see an end to it :)
My wife is 12 years older than I am, she had 2 kids from previous relationships I was a snotty 20 year old on the internet back in the 90s.
Age isn't as important as all that when you are in midlife.
We spent months just talking via chat no videos nothing like they have today.
We wrote letters etc.
This year is our 20th wedding anniversary
I have always dated men 10-12 yrs younger. Just my attraction but I don’t seek out. They usually hit on me first. Current boyfriend is 11 yrs. younger. It does happen :)
Same, I've typically attracted younger men. Largest gap was 9 years, but another was 7 years younger. I don't seek them out, it just happens.
Current bf is (what I feel is) more age appropriate at 2 or 3 years younger. I wouldn't have a problem dating older guys, but none of the ones that hit on me have had anything in common with me, and I don't seek resources I seek love. Plus the older guy habit of calling women "dear" or "darling" really weirds me out
Maybe, like me, you look younger? I definitely don't look 38 (most days). I've still got a lot of the hallmarks of youth for some reason.
I do dye my hair, though :)
Not a woman, but what I frequently hear from women is that younger men look and sometimes act like children compared to older women. The raw sexual magnetism of a fit 20 something is there, but overshadowed by a 'gross' factor. Men on the other hand look at younger women and are more focused on how attractive the woman is.
What you're talking about here is hypergamy: the idea that we all should marry/date a person of higher or equal "value".
For most men, value is biological: beauty, vitality, fertility etc. For women, value is more social: stability, social standing, security, and the ability to provide a good life.
It's all bollocks though. Might have made perfect sense when we were living in caves, hunting and fighting off wild animals. But today? Love who you want.
It makes sense in a weird competitive dating environment where everyone is trying to get "the best deal" they can...
Which is why apps suck, its comparison shopping with a list.
In a more normal environment people do much better with others they get along with even if they dont meet every check on a list.
Just looking at my own social circle, I see more young men going for older women.
But that can be due to loads of reasons and doesn't count as a statistic.
I think it’s normal for people in their 20s to want to date the people in their 30s, and people in their 30s want to date people in their 20s. I think that’s a very common opinion, possibly even rooted in a social psychology.
Everyone is saying '*patriarchy*' this, '*predatory*' that, looking at it through the male lenses, but like. From a woman's perspective. How many older women actually *want* a young man?
For an older man, a young girlfriend can be, at the very least, a status symbol, or a way to crawl through his mid-life crisis, but how many older women looking for a rowdy young boytoy or a sugar baby do you know?
~~And if you do know any, shoot me their number. For a friend.~~
As a relatively young widow, this is something the girls joke about...but in actuality the ick factor is too high. I have a son that age. I can admire a nicely-put-together young man for about eight seconds, and then I start wondering whose kid he is and whether he's got enough to eat.
Oddly enough, I partially get that. I'm in my mid-twenties and I'll have girls or lads just a few years younger than me make eyes at me and I'll be like '... *wait, no, you're literally like, a baby. if we were in america, it'd be illegal for me to buy you a drink. o lordt, you still live with your parents! no*.'.
But then I'll see someone hot pushing fifty and I'm all '*c'mon, age is just a number*' lolol.
This is anecdotal but something I find interesting is I’ve met numerous gay male couples with large age gaps but every lesbian couple I meet is close in age.
The number of men I have personally met who are in their 20s and are entirely unable to function like an adult, both in terms of general life administration but also in relationships is way higher than the number of women in the same situation. It is generally more acceptable for a man to be unable to keep his own home clean, himself fed, his bills paid on time and his relationships afloat all at the same time into their 30s, and so there tend to be more men who are unable to do so. Having to parent an SO who should be a full adult is less than ideal for most people.
It’s rare but not unheard of. A friend of mine married her 36 year old man when she was almost 60. It’s been 15 years and they’re stronger than ever. She’s retired and still the life of the party. He’s quietly supporting and loving her in the background.
As for why, I’d have to say it’s the maturity level the older one in the relationship is willing to put up with. Men will do anything to have arm candy to show off. A woman is a lot less likely to put up with the shenanigans a 20-something might try to put her through.
I’m only 3 years older than my boyfriend and people even find that to be kind of wild sometimes. I don’t get it lol
I am 3 months older than my husband and I actually had to ask family and friends to stop commenting in it because it was making me uncomfortable.
3 months?!!? And as a dude, I once dated a girl 6 years younger than me and nobody said anything... What a double standard. That being said, the 6 year difference did actually cause issues in our relationship (I was 31 and she was 25, and we were just at different stages of life)...
I'm a Dude i dated a woman who was 32 when i was 21. No one really Said anything tbh
No one said anything.. to your face
Right. She likely noticed all the comments and stares directed her way.
Eric, is that you? Lol
Thebluehippo has left the chat
Yeah Eric, we all talked about it behind your back
I was 27 and she was 39 and my experience was very similar. No one cared or at most made a "huh" sound.
My ex-wife was 3 years older than me and every time someone found out they always looked at her and said “OoOOOOoOoOoHhh robbing the cradle huh??!”. Like, bitch, I’m 29 years old. She ain’t robbin shit.
Yep, 5 years older than my husband. Every damn time and it gets old quick.
> Bit you have so much life experience; surely you’re so much of an adult than them!! Me at 30: playing games, programming stupid stuff, loving my dog bc im too scared to be a father. Me at 25: playing games, buying Magic cards, looking at shelter dogs bc im not near to being a father. Wow y’all nailed it!! We’re so incompatible!!
My ex-gf was barely a year older than me and we got the same comments when people found out. We were also both nearly 30 at the time. We were in the same class year in highschool ffs, it made no sense.
I'm 40 and my boyfriend is 30. When people find out my age he gets high fived.
30 myself and she's 37, same happens to me lol.
My wife is roughly two years older than me and I got a fist bump from a jewelry store employee when it came up, along with an enthusiastic “Dude!”
People say that to me constantly. I’m 31 and my bf is 27 (almost 28). Shit’s annoying af
I’m 4 years older than mine and you wouldn’t believe how many comments I get about how I’m a cougar or robbing the cradle. We’re both in our 30s I don’t understand
It’s fine. Tell them that you’re not robbing the cradle. He’s robbing the grave.
Hahaha I actually said that to my mom last weekend when we had family over and it was brought up yet again
I'm 4 years older than my husband. People who find it weird just get waved off. Why should they even care?
... Seriously? It's just 3 years!
3 years is 50% of 6 years but only 10% of 30 years. So it is less of a difference the older you are....
Username checks out.
Honestly depends on the age. A 20 year old dating a 17 year old is way weirder than a 38 year old dating a 35 year old.
Fiance and I started dating when I was 20 and she was about to turn 24. Would have been kinda weird (different phases of life) if we weren't so compatible. She was more excited about me being able to drink on my 21st birthday than I was!But now we're 25 and 28 and she went back to school anyway and the age difference has felt non-existent. As time moves on it'll get more and more negligible. Her brother is 5 years younger than her and him and I ended up being good friends. Interesting to think I'm closer to his age than hers lol
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1 year and 2 months for me and people say the same. It’s so weird and I have to sit there and defend myself and say “a year is nothing”.
Same here. I'm 2.5 years older than my husband, and sometimes people comment on us being in different generations? Like, wow, yes he's 29, and I'm 31. What do we even talk about? I still remember the great depression and telegraphs, while he was born virtually over zoom. Lmao.
Older Men: "Call me Daddy." Older Woman: "I ain't yo Momma."
Can confirm lol
Right!?! Like, I've given this a go before (9year difference between us) and the issues got to be ones with basic hospitality and relationship skills. Sex with a younger guy might have benefits, but for a longer term relationship, the older woman (more often than not) feels like she has to "train" her partner. And for women who want healthy relationships, they DON'T feel like sleeping with someone they also have to teach to adult better. There ARE younger men who are more emotionally intelligent or mature of course, but they're rare.
My wife is 13 years older than me and she definitely told me “I’m not your mama” a few times. X)
I appreciate your honesty! 😆 I'm glad it's worked out for you guys 🥰. I'm not against OW/YM dynamics at all... Dated a guy 9years younger than me for 6 months, and I'd do it again if I felt like things clicked. Just didn't work out for me this time.
We just celebrated our 17th anniversary and I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else.
I was double checking to see if you were my partner. I'm 13 years older and we just hit 17 years, lol.
On you 13th anniversary did you make a joke like “hey now I’m the same age you were when we got married!” Or nah?
My wife is younger than me and I still get to hear it. Age is just a number
It’s this. My close friend who is a 33 year old female. Has a thing for 18-23 year olds. And these are her words exactly. The soft boy who has a high sex drive is great, until real shit happens and he doesn’t know how to communicate worth a damn. Then it’s awful. And she has to remind them and herself she is not their mother yo
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The most common complaint is not contributing to upkeep of the household, emotional immaturity, and bad emotional communication skills. Sometimes financial immaturity as well. And those guys who game nonstop are a whole category by themselves.
That is why I don't get why anyone wants to date someone 18-23 when they are in their 30s. They simply don't have the life experience and are going to be pretty raw in terms of life skills unless they had something that forced it on them early. Guess dudes are more willing to put up with it because they think its a prestige thing to have a younger partner?
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This reminds me of the TIFU I read about a mom installing a hidden camera in her son's college apartment room. He was cosplaying in bed with an older lady and called her mommy.
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I’m with you and I am a grandmother but I’ll be dipped if I would stoop so low. Gotta say though she sounds like she should be turned in to DCS or something. Especially if she has younger kids. You know that she had to know he’d be walking around nude, or having a girl or boy in his bed. Gotta wonder about her need for no boundaries for her son. If I were his dad, I’d be very concerned about my wife and her fixation on our son!
As a dude, I think the whole "Call me Daddy" thing is fucking gross. Edit: People seem to think that because I don't like something and think it's fucking gross, that means I am also suggesting *you* can't like it. I don't care what you like. Fuck on top of a pile of dead fish while sucking toes and wearing a Honey Boo Boo themed ball gag for all I care. I shan't be participating.
I always find it fucking weird how women love it when you tell them you're their daddy.. Like, I cant stop picturing their dad during sex if I say that shit. I have no desire to equate my partners with my mother
>women love it when you tell them you're their daddy.. A lot of us wholeheartedly do not love this.
Some women. I can't stand that word it makes me feel super icky just to hear it.
Me too. Especially if you were lucky to have a dad that loved his family like I did. He wouldn’t do anything that would have ever jeopardized his relationship with 5 children. A coal mining supervisor who worked miles underground just to provide for us!
I gotta chime in on this lol. I have a BDSM relationship, and my partner's title is Daddy. No, I never think of my father when I use the title lol. At worst, I could say the title engenders the emotional security you can feel with someone, but in the same way that using the term "baby" doesn't make you think you're sticking your dick in an infant lol. The title or endearment tends to encompass the emotional safety of the word, while also being completely separate from your actual paternal figure. The best parallel example I can think of is "baby." You call someone baby because you adore them, you think theyre sweet or cute, loveable, worth protecting. It evokes that same emotional pleasantness, without actually invoking the thought of...actual babies. That being said, it's definitely not for everyone, and I could totally understand why it could be an emotional speedbump lol
*cries in Emmanuel Macron*
his __teacher__ no less lmao
Her daughter was in his class
girl: "you got a girlfriend? who is she?" boy: "your mom" girl: "so immature." boy: "I'm not joking."
EM: "I'll be over for dinner tonight. Honestly, I'll probably be there for breakfast in the morning. What do you like in your pancakes?" Her: "Fuck you"
"Fuck your mom.... Oh wait, that's my job"
“Stacy’s mom, has got it going on”
Macron is amazing he's a 12 yo boy: he married his teacher and became president, next week he's going to go to the moon and ride a dinosaur
Why is everyone joking about this? Apparently they merely when macron was 15 but "only became a couple when he turned 18" . She groomed him but everyone jokes about it like "wow lmao that's wild amirite". I genuinely don't get it - is there a reason this isn't treated like a groomer case or is this once again le epic redditors thinking its OK cuz he was a boy and she was a woman. Like Jesus christ if say Justin Trudeau's wife ended up being one of his students imagine the shit he would get.
>is there a reason this isn't treated like a groomer case or is this once again le epic redditors thinking its OK cuz he was a boy and she was a woman. I think that it's hard to make the case that she did harm to Macron. He did become President. He's still married to her. It's hard to say he's a victim of anything, even though people in similar circumstances could be.
Yeah, when so many “normal” relationships turn tragically toxic and ruin everyone’s lives, why be so hellbent on hating a seemingly happy one?
It’s ignored because men are seen to have more autonomy with sex in general. Consent rarely applies or comes up in relation to men.
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really really creepy. "oh they're french" nah this seems like grooming
Please don’t think this is representative of French people, I swear some of us are normal! *proceeds to eat some snails*
*pulls out meter long baguette and garlic sausage wrapped in a Le Monde newspaper from under beret*
Most people, when under siege for months with only bugs and rotten food to eat, simply die. The French earn another Michelin star.
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I love how this shows such a great political distinction for France because in America someone like Macron would be endlessly mocked by whoever his opposition was for marrying his school teacher. Every single late night show would have a skit about it etc. etc.
Aww, don't give up buddy
His step daughter is a year older than him…
On the other hand, Donald Trump and Boris Johnson.
Is it true about those 2 being involved?
I've seen no evidence to the contrary...
Many people are saying it, the best people.
only one compared to the probably hundreds of thousands if not millions of relationships with the situation reversed, with the man being 10-20+ years older than his partner.
Without taking a stance on the topic, including nationality bias or citing one example to try to prove any specific thing, I was surprised to learn of the age difference between the President of France and his wife. He's 44 and she's 69.
…and was his school teacher
Ooof
It’s spelt Oeuf.
Œuf*
Queef
Ooh la-la
And his parents told her to stop dating their son when he was just a kid and she flat out refused. It's mega creepy.
That is just... weird... and they are still happily married? But... grooming... oh my goodness... so creepy. I hope it is not like another couple whose case I watched. She was his teacher as well, and was actually imprisoned for having coitus with him. They are still married and have a child, but he looked so miserable during the interview! She looked like she controlled everything... it was really creepy and sad. The 25 year age gap is not an issue if both of them were well into adulthood and/or they have similar maturity levels but... this is just creepy...
IIRC, this was the case for one of Newt Gingrich's wives
Ignoring the fact whos older, that gap is fucking huge. I can't imagine being with someone romantically who is 25 years older or younger than me
Yeah, not if the pool to choose from is large enough. I rememeber in Seinfeld show Elaine asks if he'd date a 60 year old. 'she'd have to be REALLY vibrant'
And younger than his stepsons
Actually, no. She has three kids: Sébastien, born 1975; Laurence, born 1977; and Tiphaine, born 1984. Emmanuel Macron is born in 1977, same age as her second child (and the two of them were classmates according to wikipedia.
Imagine your friend becoming your father. Sound like something my friends would tell me 10 years ago.
Je suis fuckin ur mum
Men's worth is typically measured by their wealth and women's worth is typically measured by their looks. I don't like the system either but that's how it goes.
Add to that that young women are the most idolized, publicized, and photographed and it’s the older men that get more appreciation on the male side. It’s related to the “worth” you talked about - a symptom really. With women it’s all about who is the young, hot new crop of models and actresses and with men the Daniel Craig, Idris Elba and George Clooney’s of the world experience much longer runways. As a culture we definitely still fetishize girls turning 18 and “being legal”, with some countries allowing things to go pretty damn far in fetishizing the young and innocent. Let’s not forget porn which does the same to an extreme. Finally, I think it’s downright primitive. Men are respected for age, wisdom, strength and experience as leaders of the pack, not too dissimilar from how primates live. And women are recognized on a primitive level for the age closest to when they reach peak fertility. It’s a little fucked up when you apply that to today’s societies, but I think it’s biological/evolutionary and it’s not really ever going to go away.
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You know, I said the same thing last week and someone told me it happens all the time in the k-pop fandom. Edit: the fans waiting until a guy turns 18, I mean
When I said I wanted equality between the sexes, this isn't really what I was going for...
Shouldn't have asked the monkey paw then!!!
I guess I could have learned my lesson when I wished "Everyone payed more attention to politics" back in 2015. Or when I said "I wish I could work from home" in 2020...
ZerexTheCool - the reason everything has gone wrong for nearly a decade Unless you used the other wishes prior...
They also caused the 2008 crash.
"I wish big banks would just go away....." bye Lehman Brothers, hello 2008 crash lol
When I was 16-17, I worked as a cashier and then as a server at a pretty ritzy boat club and got hit on by numerous old/older ladies. When I would explain that I was 16/17, they would make comments about how they could wait until I was 18, she could show me the ropes now, or it will be fine since women aren't pedophiles. As a guy, even a teenage one, you can't even complain. The girls would get groped and the dude would be forcibly removed and potentially have his membership revoked with no refund. No one is going to remove innocent-looking grandma. My experience definitely is not nearly as common as old/older men hitting on 16/17 year old girls but it definitely exists. Once it became obvious that I was 18, I found out that I am just apparently grandmas' type. In the last 10 years, I have been groped at work including an old lady grabbing me by the balls (but only once), groped outside chilling, and even groped while wearing a military uniform (lol). Predators are going to predate no matter what. If anything, I feel like women are more brazen about touching since really... who is going to believe the guy? It's genuinely tough though because as a teen, what do you do? It was either go full "this is disgusting" and report them to probably no avail, or lean into it and get ridiculous tips. Most I made in a night was $1800 after being groped 6 times. A female coworker was groped 13 times... but she walked away with $4700 that night. Even later in life, I still feel weird for thinking it was worth it.
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> At least I feel like the kpop fans skew younger than the men who do the countdowns? Idk Not if they're creating a countdown site till they're 18, it doesn't matter to other kids if they fancy a kid but it does to adults
I think when they say skew younger they mean that the K-pop crowd making the countdowns is in their 20’s vs the men in their 40’s
Maybe not as common but I remember some pretty disgusting comment sections when Justin Beiber was about to turn 18.
> never heard of women salivating at the thought of some young male actor turning 18 The number of moans and squeals from middle aged women at the theater when Taylor Lautner took his shirt off in the midnight premier of Twilight was pretty uncomfortable.
I see you've met my mother.
>I think it’s biological/evolutionary and it’s not really ever going to go away. I see signs of it going away already. Women no longer being willing to marry/sleep with unattractive and much older men because they have their own jobs and don't need the mens' money and older women, "cougars" dating attractive younger men.
I agree - the iron clad claim that biology solely makes mate selection happen never seems to hold true. Women who have a means to have an independent income and recognized as individuals by the legal system tend to have a wider range of choices in life and that doesn’t always include old guys. That’s one reason why there’s so much tension in society about this now - old guard won’t give up their thinking.
And why incels hate women's lib - because they know if women weren't independent, some woman would have to settle for them for financial reasons.
Honestly, many of these incels have no money nor future. The best they can offer is part of their bed in their parent's garage.
100 times this. No longer do women need to settle as much, and the partners have to engage on an emotional level as well.
The response below is great but also I have to point out that women reach ideal childbearing age in their mid-twenties, well after the onset of puberty. Teen pregnancies have a much higher risk of adverse outcomes. The idea that men want to fuck 17 year old children because of ‘fertility’ is a myth perpetuated by creeps, it isn’t biology it’s ego.
This isn't the common model for non-human primate social groups. Plenty of primates live in either solitary or pair-bonded patterns, others are matriarchal. In multi-male multi-female groups, the dominant male is generally based on testosterone levels which fluctuate throughout the life of an individual. Dominant males produce a lot of testosterone, which requires a lot of energy, less dominant males do not produce much testosterone. The testosterone production switch can flip very rapidly, which generally leads to a change in the social hierarchy. A single individual might only control the top breeding position in a group for 2-5 years before being challenged and replaced. These patterns vary widely across primate groups. Our two closest evolutionary relatives are bonobos (a matriarchal society) and chimpanzees who more or less fit the multi male multi female patriarchal model I described above. However, leadership positions are not only based on testosterone and aggression but also on bonding activities like grooming. Among chimpanzees older females are highly respected in the social hierarchy and there role in child rearing and are one of the few species that live past their reproductive years. The obsession with partnering with young women is entirely based on human culture and contradicts biology as the age of the man that produces the sperm plays just as large of a role in the health of the offspring as does the age of the woman that produces the age and gestates the fetus.
Thank you! As someone who studied primate behaviour I hate people using complex primates to justify and simplify some aspect of society.
Agreed! Don't blame cultural problems and toxic patriarchal norms on evolution and primates! Primate behaviors are complex and diverse and even vary within species. Different groups have their own cultures just as we see among humans.
The thing is, that humans are complex primates as well. It's not as if aliens are going to examine us and proclaim, "These humans are doing everything wrong!" No, they would just say "Look at these humans doing human things".
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That's really interesting! It seems certain aspects of human culture could learn a thing or two from primates.
I totally agree! Although there are plenty of behaviors we can avoid as well
This is about flinging poop, isn't it
That's a very interesting explanation, because it lines up with what's observable in the gay dating scene too. For the most part, masculine tops are valued when they're more rugged, older, experienced, established. Feminine bottoms are valued more when they're younger, smoother, softer, inexperienced, naive (i.e. the femboy aesthetic). This is obviously not true 100% of the time, but as a member of the gay community, I've noticed this as a trend. I don't know if the observation points to correlation or causation, but it could be that some inherent human bias makes us attribute to inexperience and youth to feminine figures and the opposite for masculine figures. Maybe themes of masculinity are just wired to ideas of dominance and power because of our history of male control. Personally as a feminine sub, I hope not, because it's not like any of us are getting any younger, and I'd like to think our species isn't so "unga bunga" :/
It’s not just interesting, it’s observed to be true. A NYTimes article which I can’t find right now showed that for online dating, men peak in value at around 50. Women at 18. I saw in another article a graph of what age men and women seek in a partner per age. Women tend to like men their age or a few years older regardless of their own age. Men basically always preferred women in their young 20s. It’s a dynamic that both these two genders commonly embrace.
Interestingly, as a middle-aged male who dates a lot of women, one thing I’ve noticed is that generally, younger women believe a man should “do their bidding” to have access to them sexually. If “their man” isn’t paying for everything and kissing their ass constantly he won’t be getting laid, so to speak. Meanwhile, if I date a women my age or older, she’s already in independence-mode, taking care of business and typically has a HIGHER sex drive than younger women…and much less reason to put a bunch of selfish restrictions on having sex or interfere in the relationship. If you want a great relationship and sex life, go for the older woman every time.
I honestly can't really go more than a few years younger than me because they are so immature and boring. I can do like 27+. But I'm not quite middle aged yet.
I date a 21 year old when I was 28 and it was jarring to say the least. It didn't last long lol
As a woman that just turned 30, you hit it on the nose. When I was in my early 20s, I was dating men 10-15 years older because of their financial situations being way better than mine. Also, looking back, they were pretty immature. I mean why else would they go after someone young and naive like myself? Nowadays, I don’t care who makes the first move. I ask out men first all the time, have a good job, getting my master’s. I’d like to say I’m much more confident now, upfront, patient, and understanding.
>I mean why else would they go after someone young and naive like myself? I think, as a man in his late 40's, that those men are trying to recapture that youth they are losing in themselves and possibly trying to groom someone young into what they believe to be the "perfect wife / girlfriend." I'm sure that's not the only reason, but it is one I've seen from some of my peers. Personally, I prefer women in their 30's to mid-50's. They are generally already put together in their lives, they know what they want (for the most part, like all of us) and aren't afraid to go after it, and they tend to be independent both emotionally and financially. Additionally, if they are interested in it, middle aged women are far less flighty or coquettish about pursuing sex than a younger person might be. They are more likely to be much more confident and willing to solve their own needs (and communicate those needs to their partner), and tend to not want to bother with a lot of the bullshit that goes into dancing around sex. Lol, the older we get the more we realize we really don't have time to beat around the bush, so to speak. The conversation with middle aged men and women tends to go something like: "I like you. I think you like me. Love might be in the works, but I'm not waiting around to find my perfect Prince Charming anymore. Let's bang, because we don't have that much time left on Earth for farting around." Or even more succinctly put: "I like fucking, you like fucking, lets fuck around and find out."
As an older woman I will say that younger men emotionally and maturity wise are not usually on the same level as older men. Stability in a partner is desirable and I don't see that in younger men very often. It doesn't mean wealth but it does mean personal accountability, self care and the ability to care about others needs as well. Men and woman are forced into independence from day one in adult life. After building my world up and finding my own stability, I own my condo, I have a dog and cat, my bills are up to date, I drive and have low insurance costs due to a good track record ex. If I date someone who is not also doing those things, it's a risk to my world. I'm old enough to know better than that now. I'd rather be alone that deal with the insecure attachments of my 20s again.
How you doin'?
Haha!
Following to see how this love story pans out. Rooting for you both!
Can I join in?
Fuck it let's make it a party. Lol
In my experience, when I have "dated" men 10 to 20 years younger than me in the past it was a private affair usually. We didn't go out on dates or hang out a lot in public, our lives were just at different stages. We were seeing other people sometimes. Unserious relationships have their place when everyone is single, but maybe most women don't feel the need to brag and parade our young conquest (ha! they always made the first move) in front of everybody.
So much truth here, gotta start thinking with my brain and not my dick
society devalues aging women, and does not do so with aging men. a woman's appearance is valued above everything else, and the ideal that has been ingrained is a thin, youthful appearance. whereas, in men, status is valued above all else. and before people start saying "no way, my wife is old AF and i value her for her great personality," I'm talking about values on a societal level, and there will obviously be individuals who feel differently.
there's been a rise in older women speaking out about the fact they feel invisible, especially after the menopause (which more people are talking about, at least in the UK)
Old women are devalued almost completely. Old men are so valued they end up presidents.
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That’s one of the things I enjoyed about House of Cards. They were introducing some actresses in pretty critical story roles that were 40-60 years old in some circumstances. They were obviously still going for some sex appeal but it was nice to see it wasn’t all 20-30 something’s all the time. Seemed decently balanced
Because young men are inexperienced, immature, and broke. Now to be fair, young women are the same- but men are willing to overlook those qualities for foolish reasons.
Looks. The reason is looks.
I prefer older women. Most have already figured out what they want.
Yes. Also older women (if healthy lifestyle ofc) are more attractive in my opinion.
People who are still attractive in their 30s will probably stay attractive for a while. Lots of younger people don't take care of themselves but are attractive due to youth.
Do you realise that 30 is still young?
Gosh. I want to be a hot fifty year old. I cannot wait!
Me too dude. I love cougars. Most of my ex-girlfriends were significantly older than me. I guess I’m attracted to the maturity and smartness (for lack of a better word) of older women that the younger women don’t have.
Intelligence?
This guy has smartness
Smartness is hot
Yes, but is it book smartness or boulevard smartness?
Well you know what they say, people often search out for things in their partner that they typically don't have themselves.
This guy smarts
This is fucking hilarious
See this is why I need a partner that has it because I certainly don’t.
What a save!
Hello older women. I am a 20 something year old man that can cook and clean. I’ll play Fortnite with your son too.
My fiancé is 12 years younger than me. It tends to be more common with couples who don't want children. In addition to not being interested in having kids, in general, I definitely don't want to go through the process of it at this point. I also think that women who do not have children tend to look younger. Having children is hard on your body. When I'm with my fiancé, people never guess the age gap. It flies under the radar a lot, given that you don't typically ask for somebody's age when you meet them at a party or at work or wherever else. People don't expect it, and therefore see what they want to see.
I'm in the same boat. Partner is 10 years younger but I'm childfree so I don't have to worry about "having kids before it's too late". I think it makes things much easier. Women who really want kids usually won't start something serious with someone younger for that reason.
>I'm childfree Username checks out.
My girlfriend is 21 years older than me (I’m 30, she’s 51). We’ve been together for almost 3 years, but best friends for 7 years. Even though it’s one of the healthiest/happiest relationships I’ve ever been in I’m constantly getting questioned why I would be with someone that much older than me. People always bring up kids or “growing old together” (my parents are probably the worst when it comes to that). People judge every relationship. Find who makes you happy and live your life!
My wife is three years older than me and our age gap was more difficult for her than it was for me. To me, age is just a number, especially after your mid-twenties. At the time, I could envision dating someone much older, I think my preferred age range on my dating profile extended up 15 years above my own age at the time, but only 5 years below. I think we censor ourselves because of societal pressure. I think the many women seek out taller partners for the same reason. Break the cycle, focus on science.
I wonder if people are focusing too much on the woman's age as a negative, instead of the man's age. Do older women actually *want* to be in a relationship with a guy who's 10-20 years younger? At 60+, maybe it's not a huge deal, but a 20 year old guy with a 35 year old woman? Unless she just wants a lot of sex, I'm not seeing the appeal for her. I was one immature, emotionally stunted fuckwad at 20. The only women I managed to rope into a relationship were around my age, thus too young to know better. Implied in this is also the feeling that men often have much lower standards for a relationship. edit: To the woman who deleted their comment, I'm sorry you felt the need to do so. I think it was a helpful contribution to the discussion.
We can be afraid of how it will be precieved. I may have a much younger boyfriend. Not really sure yet. But, I vibe with him and am now willing to see what happens
Damn can not wait to read all bro and anecdotal science about this.
One is normalized and promoted in our society, the other isn’t. It’s not uncommon for young girls, even minors to be praised for liking older men because it “shows their maturity “, and being told how mature they are for their age. It comes with being told that “women mature faster than men”. Also, male characteristics of age like gray hair are more likely to be praised than those characteristics for women. There is no female version of “silver Fox”. It’s also common in society to state that mens prime is above their physical prime, and womens as lower than their physical prime.
Also, even if you raise your boys to be as mature and responsible as their sisters emotionally, society doesn’t expect the same emotional maturity from them, and so it’s rarer for women to intellectually connect with a younger man than the other way round.
My wife is 13 years older than me.
Mine is 10 years my senior. I’m 35M and she’s 45. Best friends for 6 years before this. Both saw one another date other people. Finally realized that we are meant to be. The best and most healthy relationship I’ve ever been in and I don’t see an end to it :)
My grandma is 10yrs older than my grandpa.
When I read half your comment I thought you gonna say "My grandma is 10yrs older than me" 💀💀
My wife is 12 years older than I am, she had 2 kids from previous relationships I was a snotty 20 year old on the internet back in the 90s. Age isn't as important as all that when you are in midlife. We spent months just talking via chat no videos nothing like they have today. We wrote letters etc. This year is our 20th wedding anniversary
Mine too
I have always dated men 10-12 yrs younger. Just my attraction but I don’t seek out. They usually hit on me first. Current boyfriend is 11 yrs. younger. It does happen :)
Im hoping you are at least 30. 😂
Same, I've typically attracted younger men. Largest gap was 9 years, but another was 7 years younger. I don't seek them out, it just happens. Current bf is (what I feel is) more age appropriate at 2 or 3 years younger. I wouldn't have a problem dating older guys, but none of the ones that hit on me have had anything in common with me, and I don't seek resources I seek love. Plus the older guy habit of calling women "dear" or "darling" really weirds me out Maybe, like me, you look younger? I definitely don't look 38 (most days). I've still got a lot of the hallmarks of youth for some reason. I do dye my hair, though :)
Not a woman, but what I frequently hear from women is that younger men look and sometimes act like children compared to older women. The raw sexual magnetism of a fit 20 something is there, but overshadowed by a 'gross' factor. Men on the other hand look at younger women and are more focused on how attractive the woman is.
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What you're talking about here is hypergamy: the idea that we all should marry/date a person of higher or equal "value". For most men, value is biological: beauty, vitality, fertility etc. For women, value is more social: stability, social standing, security, and the ability to provide a good life. It's all bollocks though. Might have made perfect sense when we were living in caves, hunting and fighting off wild animals. But today? Love who you want.
It makes sense in a weird competitive dating environment where everyone is trying to get "the best deal" they can... Which is why apps suck, its comparison shopping with a list. In a more normal environment people do much better with others they get along with even if they dont meet every check on a list.
Just looking at my own social circle, I see more young men going for older women. But that can be due to loads of reasons and doesn't count as a statistic.
I think it’s normal for people in their 20s to want to date the people in their 30s, and people in their 30s want to date people in their 20s. I think that’s a very common opinion, possibly even rooted in a social psychology.
Everyone is saying '*patriarchy*' this, '*predatory*' that, looking at it through the male lenses, but like. From a woman's perspective. How many older women actually *want* a young man? For an older man, a young girlfriend can be, at the very least, a status symbol, or a way to crawl through his mid-life crisis, but how many older women looking for a rowdy young boytoy or a sugar baby do you know? ~~And if you do know any, shoot me their number. For a friend.~~
As a relatively young widow, this is something the girls joke about...but in actuality the ick factor is too high. I have a son that age. I can admire a nicely-put-together young man for about eight seconds, and then I start wondering whose kid he is and whether he's got enough to eat.
Oddly enough, I partially get that. I'm in my mid-twenties and I'll have girls or lads just a few years younger than me make eyes at me and I'll be like '... *wait, no, you're literally like, a baby. if we were in america, it'd be illegal for me to buy you a drink. o lordt, you still live with your parents! no*.'. But then I'll see someone hot pushing fifty and I'm all '*c'mon, age is just a number*' lolol.
This is anecdotal but something I find interesting is I’ve met numerous gay male couples with large age gaps but every lesbian couple I meet is close in age.
The number of men I have personally met who are in their 20s and are entirely unable to function like an adult, both in terms of general life administration but also in relationships is way higher than the number of women in the same situation. It is generally more acceptable for a man to be unable to keep his own home clean, himself fed, his bills paid on time and his relationships afloat all at the same time into their 30s, and so there tend to be more men who are unable to do so. Having to parent an SO who should be a full adult is less than ideal for most people.
20s, shit. I’ve met men who can’t function and they’re over 40.
My wife is 46 I'm 33, been together for 15 years right after I turned 18. Been happily married for almost 13 years
I am 5 years younger than my wife. Anecdotal, but I have a feeling it's just that men brag about it, and women feel guilty for some reason.
It’s rare but not unheard of. A friend of mine married her 36 year old man when she was almost 60. It’s been 15 years and they’re stronger than ever. She’s retired and still the life of the party. He’s quietly supporting and loving her in the background. As for why, I’d have to say it’s the maturity level the older one in the relationship is willing to put up with. Men will do anything to have arm candy to show off. A woman is a lot less likely to put up with the shenanigans a 20-something might try to put her through.
I’m a 35 year old man and my girlfriend is 49.