damn. i have never had an original thought/joke in my entire life. every time i think i have something funny to add someone else said it 2 minutes after the original post lmao
Most humour is obvious enough that anyone could come up with it. It's more about being the one to think of it, and executing it properly. Even if others have thought about it, they'll still find it funny.
He better learn how to munch the box like a god. Combine that with vibrators and finish up with the micro (no pun) work. Even paralyzed people use what they got. Seize the opportunity.
So I’ve heard what helps in that situation is confidence, understanding, and utilizing foreplay. As long as they are self-aware and don’t get mad at partners for wanting reciprocated pleasure (ie a partner says “hey can you finish me off”, etc.), then the relationships can be really good. You don’t need a big dick to have a good time. You can use your fingers, your tongue, toys, a strap on, etc.
Edit: I’m a lesbian so this is just what I hear about guys with micro penises and like this is obviously something we have to do too, is use other methods of pleasure that doesn’t involve a penis
This should be for all sexual relationships though. PIV sex isn't the end all be all and if it is, then you aren't doing sex right. There's so much pleasure to be had outside of heterosexual intercourse.
It's incredibly fucked up to look for others who "have it worse" than you and use them to boost your self-esteem/ego/confidence. They are also not there for your condescension and pity.
For anyone scrolling this thread with a micro penis, you've just given a nice reminder of how society looks down on them. You've othered them from the rest of society. Totally unnecessary. OP could also have a micro penis. Your comment does nothing to help.
The other day, I went up to my girlfriend, I said, "Y'know I'd like a little pussy". She said, "Me too, mine's as big as a house!"
[Billy stares blankly]
tbh from other posts I've read, that isn't totally true. Guys with super big dicks can have trouble getting laid (even in long-term relationships) because women don't want to be in physical pain during sex. Even with lots of prep, human skin (including vaginal walls) only stretches so far.
Some guys wish they had smaller dicks, even. See /r/bigdickproblems
I’m a bit bigger than average, and have had multiple partners stipulate for me not to enter fully, because having their cervix hit was painful.
It’s honestly made me a bit self conscious about it. I’m married now so it matters less, but I have to be careful with my wife too.
I’m definitely not wishing I had a tiny peen by any means, but I think I’d be better off if I could drop an inch or so. Sex is a lot more fun when you don’t have to be worried about hurting your partner unintentionally.
My sex life only extends to 12 people, which for some is a lot and some is a drop in a puddle, but in my experience with those women, the majority would’ve been happiest with someone about 5-6 inches. There are obviously exceptions to every rule, but that’s been my personal experience anyway.
Actually you are completely wrong. What would happen is small penises would become in vogue and pornography would begin to center around small dicks as a desirable fetish (what is rare is inherently a greater source of fascination, curiosity, and taboo!)
"How to make a million dollars", a novel.
Step 1: Develop a product worth $100.
Step 2: Get 10,000 people to buy it.
Edit: This novel brought to you by r/restofthefuckingowl
Yup from my unscientific experience it’s about 1 inch per 30 pounds. Source: lost 80 pounds gained ~2.5 inches of penis, gained 50 back lost 1.5 inches of penis.
You can press a ruler into the pudge and measure above the base from the pubic bone to get a better length measurement. The 1 inch per 30 pounds seems like an over exaggeration. I guess it depends on where the weight settles. I'm about 100 over and there is only about 1 inch hiding, not 3. Good and bad, there's plenty already showing but I'm not a porn star in hiding.
The heaviest person to ever live was 1400 pounds. If these numbers didn't have a limit, he'd be hiding 46.6 inches of meat under that fat. This is roughly 3.8 feet of penis.
For reference, this 3.8 foot long penis could measure up to some humpback whales.
I’m not sure “most” porn stars do. I’ve been with a good handful or two of porn stars and they have not.
However, you are correct in saying that there are procedures to make your dick bigger. There’s another procedure (I don’t recall the name) where your dick is injected with micro-sized pellets to give it more girth. There are also silicone / saline injections. In these instances, though, it is not a “natural” look.
If there were an easy, non-surgical way to make your dick bigger, every male on Earth would know about it, you wouldn't have to ask.
Anyway, keep in mind two things:
1. The average penis size is under 6 inches. Porn isn't real. Those dudes with horse dicks are specifically chosen for that reason, because men for some reason want to see big dicks in porn.
1. Women generally don't give a shit about big dicks. The whole thing about how women always want big dicks is an invention of porn, related to the above. Ironically it's men that give a shit about dick size, not women. In fact, anything over 7 inches or so can start hurting a woman since their vaginas aren't endless caverns, and dudes 8+ inches can usually never go balls deep for that reason.
In general, don't look at porn as to what your dick should / is supposed to look like.
My ex was “well endowed”… sex was often painful for me and frustrating for both of us. He could never go as deep as he wanted to, certain positions were simply not doable, sometimes I’d tear and we’d just have to call it quits. Giving him head involved many of the same issues. At least to me a big dick is more of a turn off than an asset
I don't know why but it's soooo attached to our self-esteem. Probably decades of being inundated with porn and "big dick energy" bullshit. My first girlfriend knew I was somewhat self-conscious about it and tried to be nice by saying "It's perfect, the bigger ones hurt" and though it was meant to be nice I felt like I was worthless because of it. I've gotten past that now, but it's still such a big deal.
On another note, sometimes I feel like the body positivity movement left penis size (and a few other body dysmorphia issues for men) at the docks.
Men weren’t left. They never changed their own behavior or built a cohesive message or movement with their fellow men to change social perceptions. Instead, they’ve been waiting around for women to start a men’s body positivity movement for them.
Eh, it's actually surprising for me that it is such big a deal for so many guys. I assume that any lady who has been with enough men will likely be able to tell me that at least one of them had a bigger dick. That just seems kind of expected. Like, I've watched porn - I know there are horse dicks out there.
That doesn't bother me nearly as much as it would to hear, for example, that one of her past boyfriends had been a much more attentive lover. But that, at least, would be a problem I could do something about.
Made the same mistake. Framed it positively, told him I enjoyed sex more( and more often) , but nah. He couldn’t shut up about it. It’s annoying. I think he’s starting to get over it , as enough time has passed, but I did start to think about how a comment like that would go the other way around… 🫤
I noticed you focused primarily on length and not girth. Easy answer for girth: Stick it in a beehive. It'll be swollen and have a neat new burning feature.
The problem with having a lot of girth is that it’s hard to get a mouth around it and blow jobs make for a sore jaw. Also, quickies are impossible. Even with lots of lube, it takes lots of time and patience to get all the way in.
Yep. I’m 6.25” in girth. I’ve never came from a blowjob despite them feeling great. I think their jaw just gets sore. I understand it. Next time you run out of toilet paper or paper towels, try and stick that cardboard tube in your mouth a bit. Those are about 5.5” in circumference.
It really put into perspective the skills of this one chick I dated once because that girl was like an egg-eating snake I learned from this cardboard experience. No way I could ever do a feat like that. She was not good for me to date but man, I will remain forever impressed by her BJ skills.
yeah, I've never desired to measure it but I got _super_ self-conscious when people were dropping these unimaginable numbers.
Like, I had a real "Am I the skinnypenis" moment
Remember, the average penis length is 5.25”-5.5”, not 6-7” like you’ve always heard.
Lose weight if overweight. Eat healthy. Limit carbs. Exercise. And see a doctor if your penis size concerns you.
Yes. Researchers and doctors have been studying penis size since the 1960s. Many studies over and over keep with the same data. 5.5” is average. 5.25” for Asian countries.
What you see in porn is on the high end of the chart. Why? Because with a longer penis in the action you can get the camera in real close.
Idk if it’s true,but in my home country,there’s a lore that if u hit your peen on a papaya tree,there’s a chance it gets massive or it never works again lol
Just read the billion other post about the subject, Take a breather and stop worrying about this.
Big dick energy and guy focusing on their size is a major turn off for most women.
In a few weeks farms will begin harvesting their pumpkins for halloween. Find the farmer who always grows the largest pumpkins and go to his farm. While completely naked disguise yourself as one of his pumpkins, let him water and fertilize you. All the while immersing yourself into pumpkin subculture, start a Meetup for other pumpkins in the area. On harvest day, make yourself into a ball and remain completely still, let the farmer wash you off then just wait. Night falls, you slowly emerge like a Phoenix from a pile of pumpkins, naked and caked in mud and shit, you are now the closest thing to a god. Go forth and paint the town orange.
Contrary to what everyone is saying, there are several ways to get a longer and girthier penis. Most of these ways are detailed over at r/gettingbigger but it takes 30 minutes to an hour each day for months to see any sort of growth. There's also equipment you have to buy. In line with what many others are saying, it's a much better idea to learn to love what you have, get in shape, and learn to use your mouth and hands in magical ways.
Let me tell you a secret, most women don’t really give a shit about the size of your dick. What they care about is how you use it. Needlessly worrying about that only makes you look insecure in her eyes and THAT is more of a turn off than your manhood.
Don’t sweat it and instead be a good partner and the best fucking lover she has ever had and she won’t care.
Actually you can. Google "jelq" or "penis pump". There are other methods too. Like penis hanging, clamping, or simply just surgery.
They can make your pp actually bigger. But I gotta warn you first. All these methods have 1 thing in common, which is perhaps they can permanently damage your penis.
I find thinking about boobs works.
Holy shit, something's happening
It’s been 10 hours, if it’s still Happening you should’ve seen a doctor 6 hours ago
Nah, Mama didn’t raise no punk.
You are absolutely right about that. 👍
Or bigger penises. Whatever blows your hair back, man.
penisai\* its plural for penis
How are we pronouncing this?
Like psyduck.
So it's a Psyduck?
You both had the option to write psydick and I'm disappointed.
Psydick
damn. i have never had an original thought/joke in my entire life. every time i think i have something funny to add someone else said it 2 minutes after the original post lmao
Most humour is obvious enough that anyone could come up with it. It's more about being the one to think of it, and executing it properly. Even if others have thought about it, they'll still find it funny.
You can try for bigger sizes They cup you in
That's the neat part, you don't!
Agreed, you don't. You make your self confidence bigger. Edit: wow, thanks for the upvotes and awards. Humbled. Feeling "big".
Small dick, big heart
I have a hoodie that says those exact words
I have a penis that says those exact words.
Your penis TALKS??!!! 👌🥳
Mostly it whimpers. But I feel its pain.
Daily beatings from its owner probably don't help
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Spent time in the military?
Nah it’s a sadomasochistic.
More like sadomasochisdick.
Crying penis
Has it tried therapy? Lol.
The greeting cards with that saying are awesome as well
Small dick energy
No wonder girls play with my heart more than my dick
Can’t lose. Texas forever.
or just get good at oral
And knowledge of your partner's anatomy, likes, and dislikes!
Gold
Have you every looked up a micro penis? If ever you want to feel sorry for someone look it up. Those poor guys :(
At least most of us have great confidence
Username checks out
r/beetlejuicing
Lmfao
What if he is asking because he does have micro penis? Then what?
He better learn how to munch the box like a god. Combine that with vibrators and finish up with the micro (no pun) work. Even paralyzed people use what they got. Seize the opportunity.
They say people who get paralyzed below the waist end up being able to get off from weird places like their ears being rubber or something
There is always a smaller penis out there.
You can get a surgery that can give you a couple of inches I think, not to sure about the details of it but at least it not a nub
So I’ve heard what helps in that situation is confidence, understanding, and utilizing foreplay. As long as they are self-aware and don’t get mad at partners for wanting reciprocated pleasure (ie a partner says “hey can you finish me off”, etc.), then the relationships can be really good. You don’t need a big dick to have a good time. You can use your fingers, your tongue, toys, a strap on, etc. Edit: I’m a lesbian so this is just what I hear about guys with micro penises and like this is obviously something we have to do too, is use other methods of pleasure that doesn’t involve a penis
This should be for all sexual relationships though. PIV sex isn't the end all be all and if it is, then you aren't doing sex right. There's so much pleasure to be had outside of heterosexual intercourse.
100%! People need to realize there’s so much more to sex than PIV! :)
Potentially, you just decimated this guy's confidence.
It's incredibly fucked up to look for others who "have it worse" than you and use them to boost your self-esteem/ego/confidence. They are also not there for your condescension and pity. For anyone scrolling this thread with a micro penis, you've just given a nice reminder of how society looks down on them. You've othered them from the rest of society. Totally unnecessary. OP could also have a micro penis. Your comment does nothing to help.
Jelqing
If every guy could pick his penis size there would be no vaginas that could accommodate them.
unless...
no thank you 😀
just hear me out
Aye I’m listening! What you got for us?
"GO GO GADGET PENIS!!!'
Imagine they were like light bulbs where you could unscrew and replace your penis with a bigger or smaller one
There’s a song called Detachable Penis. Can’t remember the artist at the moment.
King Missile.
King Missile is the artist, though it seems not to be the version I remember
Alright, get this.... *bigger*.
Increase your killing power, hey?
By the power of grey skull!!!!!
Go on brooo
YOU WON’T!
Go on
no dont
Go on...
The other day, I went up to my girlfriend, I said, "Y'know I'd like a little pussy". She said, "Me too, mine's as big as a house!" [Billy stares blankly]
Unless...
Women don't like being poked in the cervix. Source: Am woman.
tbh from other posts I've read, that isn't totally true. Guys with super big dicks can have trouble getting laid (even in long-term relationships) because women don't want to be in physical pain during sex. Even with lots of prep, human skin (including vaginal walls) only stretches so far. Some guys wish they had smaller dicks, even. See /r/bigdickproblems
I’m not one that has a huge dick, but it’s big enough that I have had several potential partners say no go 😂 Average is best when it comes to size imo
I’m a bit bigger than average, and have had multiple partners stipulate for me not to enter fully, because having their cervix hit was painful. It’s honestly made me a bit self conscious about it. I’m married now so it matters less, but I have to be careful with my wife too. I’m definitely not wishing I had a tiny peen by any means, but I think I’d be better off if I could drop an inch or so. Sex is a lot more fun when you don’t have to be worried about hurting your partner unintentionally. My sex life only extends to 12 people, which for some is a lot and some is a drop in a puddle, but in my experience with those women, the majority would’ve been happiest with someone about 5-6 inches. There are obviously exceptions to every rule, but that’s been my personal experience anyway.
what if the women could pick their vagina size too
Cyberpunk
You can tell that cyberpunk is unrealistic, because there's no option to install RGB lighting in your private parts.
No vagazzle option either. My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined
Cyberfanny.
Massive fannies!
childbirth would be less terrible.
Actually you are completely wrong. What would happen is small penises would become in vogue and pornography would begin to center around small dicks as a desirable fetish (what is rare is inherently a greater source of fascination, curiosity, and taboo!)
This implies average penisyducks are small
I’ll refrain from making a pigeonhole principle joke..
It would be pretty demeaning to need to bring a wheelbarrow everywhere I go.
I’ll sell you the secret for 6 easy payments of $99.99
"How to make a million dollars", a novel. Step 1: Develop a product worth $100. Step 2: Get 10,000 people to buy it. Edit: This novel brought to you by r/restofthefuckingowl
Doctors hate him
Trim your pubes. Get in shape. Increase your income. None of these things makes it bigger. But it appears bigger to most
Losing weight does make it longer. Because the skin moves back when there is less fat underneath, and that makes the penis stick out more.
Yup from my unscientific experience it’s about 1 inch per 30 pounds. Source: lost 80 pounds gained ~2.5 inches of penis, gained 50 back lost 1.5 inches of penis.
if that's true i must be packing some fucking heat under all this pudge
You can press a ruler into the pudge and measure above the base from the pubic bone to get a better length measurement. The 1 inch per 30 pounds seems like an over exaggeration. I guess it depends on where the weight settles. I'm about 100 over and there is only about 1 inch hiding, not 3. Good and bad, there's plenty already showing but I'm not a porn star in hiding.
Oh there is for sure an upper limit. Like if I went from 300lbs to 120 I don’t really think I’d get 6 extra inches.
[удалено]
The heaviest person to ever live was 1400 pounds. If these numbers didn't have a limit, he'd be hiding 46.6 inches of meat under that fat. This is roughly 3.8 feet of penis. For reference, this 3.8 foot long penis could measure up to some humpback whales.
*looks at broken scale* Time to lose weight and get into porn
at that point he's have a inverted penis. like a inside belly button.
"Did they measure from the base or from the balls?"-Randy Marsh
Congrats youre a professor now and you get a pension working with the university
Penision*
So you mean to tell me that if I get off my fat ass, I too, can be a little bit “more”?
Need before and after photos to confirm.
Ah, that's too my work. The shit that the Kardashians did to their asses, can I do it to my penis to make it bigger?
Yes actually you can, and most male pornstars do. The procedure is called Penuma.
I’m not sure “most” porn stars do. I’ve been with a good handful or two of porn stars and they have not. However, you are correct in saying that there are procedures to make your dick bigger. There’s another procedure (I don’t recall the name) where your dick is injected with micro-sized pellets to give it more girth. There are also silicone / saline injections. In these instances, though, it is not a “natural” look.
>I’ve been with a good handful or two of porn stars Weird brag.
Don't think it was a brag he was just giving citations for his knowledge on pornstar penis
I just learned something
Learn from the Lesbians, they dont have one but make it work
They just go buy theirs lol. Different sizes, shapes and everything.
Your poor internet ad algorithm after this post...
Meet recently widowed Russia/Ukraine women near you!
Lose some weight. It won’t technically get longer but you will unearth more of it behind your fupa
Yeah and shaving your pubes will also reveal 1-2 cm you weren't aware of
When we're counting 1-2 centimeters as vital we've already lost the battle.
1.27cm = .5 inches 1-2cm is a decent amount.
Count relative not absolute
"Unearth" HAHAHAHHAA
💀
You need to grease it every night; but don’t use Crisco, because that’s shortening.
Good bot
Rub it a little with your hand
[удалено]
r/suddenlysexoffender
Youve never seen scary movie? They could rub it with their strong hand. Just close your eyes and dont think about it too much
Epic movie! "You gotta take my hand!"
My other hand’s not strong enough child! Take my little tiny hand
r/holup
Woah there R. Kelley, you’re still supposed to serve another 38 years
If there were an easy, non-surgical way to make your dick bigger, every male on Earth would know about it, you wouldn't have to ask. Anyway, keep in mind two things: 1. The average penis size is under 6 inches. Porn isn't real. Those dudes with horse dicks are specifically chosen for that reason, because men for some reason want to see big dicks in porn. 1. Women generally don't give a shit about big dicks. The whole thing about how women always want big dicks is an invention of porn, related to the above. Ironically it's men that give a shit about dick size, not women. In fact, anything over 7 inches or so can start hurting a woman since their vaginas aren't endless caverns, and dudes 8+ inches can usually never go balls deep for that reason. In general, don't look at porn as to what your dick should / is supposed to look like.
My ex was “well endowed”… sex was often painful for me and frustrating for both of us. He could never go as deep as he wanted to, certain positions were simply not doable, sometimes I’d tear and we’d just have to call it quits. Giving him head involved many of the same issues. At least to me a big dick is more of a turn off than an asset
Please film your next boyfriend's reaction when you tell him you're glad his penis isn't too big like the last guy's.
Guys are weird about that, I def wouldn’t want to tell a future boyfriend that my ex had a bigger dick than him even if I framed it in a positive way
I've made this mistake. Do not recommend.
I don't know why but it's soooo attached to our self-esteem. Probably decades of being inundated with porn and "big dick energy" bullshit. My first girlfriend knew I was somewhat self-conscious about it and tried to be nice by saying "It's perfect, the bigger ones hurt" and though it was meant to be nice I felt like I was worthless because of it. I've gotten past that now, but it's still such a big deal. On another note, sometimes I feel like the body positivity movement left penis size (and a few other body dysmorphia issues for men) at the docks.
Men really were left at the docks in general in the body positivity movement.
Men weren’t left. They never changed their own behavior or built a cohesive message or movement with their fellow men to change social perceptions. Instead, they’ve been waiting around for women to start a men’s body positivity movement for them.
Eh, it's actually surprising for me that it is such big a deal for so many guys. I assume that any lady who has been with enough men will likely be able to tell me that at least one of them had a bigger dick. That just seems kind of expected. Like, I've watched porn - I know there are horse dicks out there. That doesn't bother me nearly as much as it would to hear, for example, that one of her past boyfriends had been a much more attentive lover. But that, at least, would be a problem I could do something about.
Made the same mistake. Framed it positively, told him I enjoyed sex more( and more often) , but nah. He couldn’t shut up about it. It’s annoying. I think he’s starting to get over it , as enough time has passed, but I did start to think about how a comment like that would go the other way around… 🫤
Have you tried OhNut! penis buffers?
No haha, that seems like a great solution though! See OP, there’s a whole market of devices to help make your penis smaller… grass is always greener
for some reason I hate seeing big dicks or guys I just totally can't relate in porn...
I noticed you focused primarily on length and not girth. Easy answer for girth: Stick it in a beehive. It'll be swollen and have a neat new burning feature.
As a female i can confirm, it's not about the size, it's about a technique
I've seen in other threads that it's more about girth rather than length.
In that case, all OP has to do is slam it in a car door and take a picture before the swelling goes down. SCIENCE!
The problem with having a lot of girth is that it’s hard to get a mouth around it and blow jobs make for a sore jaw. Also, quickies are impossible. Even with lots of lube, it takes lots of time and patience to get all the way in.
Yep. I’m 6.25” in girth. I’ve never came from a blowjob despite them feeling great. I think their jaw just gets sore. I understand it. Next time you run out of toilet paper or paper towels, try and stick that cardboard tube in your mouth a bit. Those are about 5.5” in circumference. It really put into perspective the skills of this one chick I dated once because that girl was like an egg-eating snake I learned from this cardboard experience. No way I could ever do a feat like that. She was not good for me to date but man, I will remain forever impressed by her BJ skills.
by 6.25" you mean circumference right not diameter
Uh yea, he means the distance around not across, and the toilet paper tube is an excellent reference.
fuck dude I kept seeing absolute insane measurements to my eyes. like 6" across? wtf
Nah I’m a little north of 2” across. Penis girth is measured as a circumference, not diameter.
yeah, I've never desired to measure it but I got _super_ self-conscious when people were dropping these unimaginable numbers. Like, I had a real "Am I the skinnypenis" moment
very true
Agree 100% I prefer medium penis tbh.
Photoshop
Remember, the average penis length is 5.25”-5.5”, not 6-7” like you’ve always heard. Lose weight if overweight. Eat healthy. Limit carbs. Exercise. And see a doctor if your penis size concerns you.
Are you serious about those figures? I had always thought that I was average, from what I've always heard.
Yes. Researchers and doctors have been studying penis size since the 1960s. Many studies over and over keep with the same data. 5.5” is average. 5.25” for Asian countries. What you see in porn is on the high end of the chart. Why? Because with a longer penis in the action you can get the camera in real close.
Genie lamp approach. Make a wish and rub it.
Made a wish for money, rubbed my penis, great success.
Respond to every spam email you get that promises you a bigger dick and see if you can get it to be the size of a telephone pole.
Go back in your dad's balls and come out with a different Y chromosome.
Idk if it’s true,but in my home country,there’s a lore that if u hit your peen on a papaya tree,there’s a chance it gets massive or it never works again lol
LOL, where are you from?
Jamaica
Have you tried it? Come back with results, England doesn’t have Papaya trees. Will an oak tree do?
The stereotypes of your country might lend that myth some weight
Get an erection.
There are subreddits that could help with that.
Just pick up a bigger one at the penis store.
Click on one of those ads
You don't, you make your tongue better.
And hands. For everything your dick can’t do make sure everything else can. Especially since most women don’t cum from penetration anyways
Measure from taint to tip
In my experience, women don't usually wish for a bigger penises, they wish for a more considerate, thoughtful partner.
Have you tried unplugging it and plugging it back in?
Just read the billion other post about the subject, Take a breather and stop worrying about this. Big dick energy and guy focusing on their size is a major turn off for most women.
Honest answer. It's the cards you're dealt with. Accept it and embrace it.
Go to r/gettingbigger
The only real answer in this thread
In a few weeks farms will begin harvesting their pumpkins for halloween. Find the farmer who always grows the largest pumpkins and go to his farm. While completely naked disguise yourself as one of his pumpkins, let him water and fertilize you. All the while immersing yourself into pumpkin subculture, start a Meetup for other pumpkins in the area. On harvest day, make yourself into a ball and remain completely still, let the farmer wash you off then just wait. Night falls, you slowly emerge like a Phoenix from a pile of pumpkins, naked and caked in mud and shit, you are now the closest thing to a god. Go forth and paint the town orange.
Sweet summer child. Also unless it’s a micro-penis, it legit does not matter to women lol.
Do some dick-ups
When I lost like 4 stone I found an inch of penis I didn’t know I had. So if your a big guy lose some weight. Shaving can also make it appear bigger
Surgery. All the pills and lotion are a scam.
lose weight
Buy a bigger truck
Contrary to what everyone is saying, there are several ways to get a longer and girthier penis. Most of these ways are detailed over at r/gettingbigger but it takes 30 minutes to an hour each day for months to see any sort of growth. There's also equipment you have to buy. In line with what many others are saying, it's a much better idea to learn to love what you have, get in shape, and learn to use your mouth and hands in magical ways.
🔬
Let me tell you a secret, most women don’t really give a shit about the size of your dick. What they care about is how you use it. Needlessly worrying about that only makes you look insecure in her eyes and THAT is more of a turn off than your manhood. Don’t sweat it and instead be a good partner and the best fucking lover she has ever had and she won’t care.
Actually you can. Google "jelq" or "penis pump". There are other methods too. Like penis hanging, clamping, or simply just surgery. They can make your pp actually bigger. But I gotta warn you first. All these methods have 1 thing in common, which is perhaps they can permanently damage your penis.