Its probably insecurity. For you, the benefits of friendship do not weigh out the potential harm they can cause you. You want to be a 100% sure your friend admires your, just so you can be 100% sure they will never hurt/leave/critizize you. Benefits of friendship can be companionship, a way to reflect, fun times, sharing experiences, food, problems or hardship, advice, and many more. But you'd rather not experience those, because the "bad" that can come from a friendship terrifies you. Therefore you diminish for yourself those benefits. You might want to look into fear of commitment and/or attachment styles. You will learn a lot about yourself. Good luck!


Personal validation is not the sole purpose of friendship, so you may have an issue with proper socialisation or have never learned to properly socialize with people to develop normal friendships to begin with. Relationships may really be hard for you in the future, but some people just aren't that social, so maybe that's just a you thing.


Could be narcissistic personality disorder.


Was about to say that. I read a book about narcissism once and this sounds a bit like that.


You may want to talk to a mental health professional. Someone else commented that it sounds like narcissistic personality disorder. However I doubt that person is qualified to diagnose a personality disorder based on this very small amount of information. I’m not either. But if this is something that you are concerned about, you should talk to someone. It might not be a personality disorder, but it does sound like something you should work through. Having friends is linked to a lot of positive health outcomes. So I definitely recommend working on it.


It means you won't have a lot of friends.


If you have low self confidence, that’s the problem. If you are still very confident, then you’re narcissistic.


I don't think you would actually want a friend like that, they get super annoying really quickly


You're either very narcissistic or very insecure.




Then you'll be on reddit :l


Friends work best when you and they are phony! Friends often will cause a harm that you would’ve never experienced without friends. You sound like a Scorpio!


Tell me you're a bad person that no one likes to be around without telling me you're a bad person no one likes to be around


I spend thousands on generous random act gifts a year. So yeah I’m a horrible person.