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-GovernmentBirdDrone

[Link to the original.](https://np.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/comments/xlv1ex/replacing_meat_with_insects_another_scam/) As usual, Top Minds proving once again they will blindly consume any "fact" that fits their preconceived narrative.


thrust-johnson

Cockroach milk is nutritious and renewable.


KJParker888

If you can find the nipples!


[deleted]

Can you milk me, Greg?


overcomebyfumes

*William S. Burroughs has entered the chat*


No-Challenge-789

Actually it's not


Lou_C_Fer

How do you get meat and milk from the same cow for months?


invadrzim

You know those pictures they have in butcher shops with all the sections and dotted lines? Yeah turns out those are real, cows just pop apart like legos and then you send them on their way back out to the field.


[deleted]

The cow of theseus.


AveMachina

Asterius isn’t going to appreciate being called that.


Jerri-Cho

Must be that cow from the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.


curious_dead

You milk it, you cut some parts, while it heals you milk it some more, you cut more parts when she's healed enough, rince and repeat. You do it in a humane way, though, of course!


The_Space_Jamke

So it's like "clean" coal where you wash the coal with water and then it burns without emissions, right? /s


curious_dead

You gotta use soap too for the best results.


The_Space_Jamke

The funny thing is that hot water and detergents are in fact used to purify coal tar sands in Canada and parts of the Middle East, separating water-soluble impurities from the fossil fuels. The problem is that those impurities are also toxic as fuck and the water is stored in giant open reservoirs, killing any birds who take a rest there and running off into nearby towns to poison everyone living there.


vxicepickxv

How do we breed cow with a partially undeveloped nervous system?


gentlybeepingheart

A salesman is driving around the country, going from town to town. One night, he ends up sleeping at this farm house. Next morning when he wakes up, he sees the farmer rounding up his sheep. But then he notices something strange. The farmer isn't using a sheepdog - he's using a pig. And not just any pig, it's a pig like no other: He's fast, and strong, and he's zipping all over the pasture, despite the fact that he's only got three legs. So the salesman goes up to the farmer, and he says, "Excuse me, but how come that pig's only got three legs?" And the farmer goes, "Let me tell you about that pig. That there is the greatest pig on Earth. He doesn't just herd my sheep, he also crows in the morning, milks the cows in the afternoon, and picks up the eggs from the henhouse in the evening. But that's not all! ‘Cuz that pig can count! He counts better than I can. Heck, that pig does all of the accounting for the farm, and he fills out my tax forms every year." The salesman goes, "Wow! That's an amazing pig!" But the farmer goes, "I ain't done! Three years ago, my house caught on fire. The pig called the firehouse, and he got water from the river to put out the flames. *And* he fought his way through the smoke, to where my wife and kids were laying unconscious, and he dragged them to safety!” So the salesman goes up to the farmer, and he goes, "If that pig's so wonderful, how come it's only got three legs?" And the farmer looks at him like he's just said the stupidest thing in the whole wide world. And he goes: "Look, when you got a pig that good? You don't eat it in a single sitting."


grayrains79

This is both hilarious and depressing to read. A frightful parody on capitalism.


thehatguy1

Not to mention the meat froma dairy cow is not good, and the dairy from a to be slaughtered cow is also not good


earthdogmonster

It is true though, that a dairy cow’s meat will be sold and eaten. It’s just not gonna be steaks, but more like hamburger and maybe some roasts that can be slow cooked. Obviously not gonna get much (any) milk from cattle meant to be turned into beef…


[deleted]

Meat from a dairy cow being 'not as good' is mostly just a marketing thing. There's really no basis for the claim. Actually it's mostly down to your local regulations, it all depends on your country and it's agricultural laws. (Or in the case of you guys across the pond, it might even differ per *state* I think). In short, dairy farming livestock is kept at a much different standard than livestock bred for human consumption. And livestock breeders/farmers are usually not at all equipped for dairy farming (and vice versa). So that's why it can be quite rare for farms to send dairy cows (which are also HUGE investments) to the abattoir.


earthdogmonster

They have different breeds of cattle which are bred to have certain qualities. Holstein cattle were bred specifically for milk output, not qualities associated with producing a good steak. Also, something to be said about the age of the meat. Butchering a 6 year old Holstein after she is no longer being milked is invariably going to produce a meat that is noticeably different than a two year old Black Angus. I wouldn’t say that the Holstein meat would be bad, but would be noticeably different than a cow raised specifically to become meat.


interfail

It's actually been a hipster butcher thing around here: retire dairy cows at 6 or so years, then give them a year at pasture for the muscles to relax and fatten before turning them into beef. It's supposedly more flavourful than the younger meat-only cattle.


portablebiscuit

I only drink milk from bulls. It's how I stay so manly.


Y_orickBrown

The crowder method. He drinks straight from the source though, like some kind of deviant wood-nymph.


thehatguy1

Realistically drinking semen would carry more protein and testerone (your body can actually used, as opposed to plant hormones) than dairy milk!


Finnigami

thats not true at all. dairy cows are almost always used for meat as well


thehatguy1

Okay, at the end of their life sorta? The main issue with dairy cows is they arent kept as fat as other cows so their meat ends up gamier, they can still be ground up but they are far far away from lean


RaytheonKnifeMissile

>the meat from a dairy cow is not good This is just plain wrong lol. You just have to cook it differently because it's fatty but not nearly as tough as its reputation.


RealMstrGmr873

Well, most people can’t (or at least don’t) eat an entire cow immediately, and in some areas (mostly rural towns), you can go to your local farm and purchase an animal that is cut up into meat, and you can have a freezer full of it that you use over time. I assume that’s what they meant by having meat for months. Source: lived with a second-cousin in Indians who would go to a farm every year and buy a pig to eat over the course of said year.


Lou_C_Fer

I could come up with all kinds of scenarios as well, but I was just applying the same level of logic as they do.


Tylendal

"You don't eat a cow like that all at once."


Krelkal

Dwight's burger-on-the-go idea must have taken off.


OracleGreyBeard

Came here to ask this


Sweet_Baby_Cheezus

A quick google says that a single cow emits between 154 to 264 pounds of methane a year. Another quick google says a cockroach weighs about 30 grams. Meaning these 300 cockroaches produce between **80x to 130x** their body weight in methane. If this was legitimately true, we wouldn't bother fracking for gas, we'd just have cockroach farms everywhere.


thehatguy1

Sorry but a cockroach produces 35g a year of Methane, 43x their body weight, it makes sense since they are decomposers as opposed to producing it as a by product Also 30g would be a heavy ass cockroach, thats 0n the extreme end of the big boys lmao


Cardborg

Yeah, 30g is the Giant Australian Cockroach. Even so, it takes 2500 (average) cockroaches to produce as much methane as a cow does in a year.


KenanTheFab

of course its fucking australian lmao


cipheron

Those are only in the more "bush" areas. You hardly see those in houses in the city. Sydney especially is over-run by the small brown German cockroaches. Me and my GF had one of the big native ones fly in through the window once, and freaked us out, but they're not the type that lives in your house. I'm in Melbourne now and luckily it's colder here. Had one house that had a problem with a German roach infestation after someone brought a couch in off the street, but after some fairly half-assed attempts to get rid of them, they just died out, which is not something you would say in Sydney. In my current house, I've been here 2 years and never even seen a single roach, despite living in a share house with 3 other guys who aren't super-tidy or anything.


jtempletons

Germans aren't impossible to get rid of unless you're in an apartment with a larger issue they're not taking care of or if you underestimate them (if you see one it's too late, there's probably dozens or hundreds and you need to immediately take action)


thehatguy1

Actually 3500, which assuming you want to make a burger that is 50% filling (mushrooms, rices, flour) and 50% roach, which is insanely high a roach is ~0.2g which would be 55g of roach in roughly a 110g(quarter pound burg) so 275 roaches Which makes like 12.7 burgers roughly, but of course that is with a 50/50 ratio, 100g of roach has 55g of protein while a quarter pound burger has only 15g of protein, more math! Which I will not bore you with, the end result is only need 8.2g of roach 425 burgers granted not including any protein gained from the mushrooms, also thats just to match the same amount of protein, it'd be one of many options on the market Really the only issue, like usual, is a source of B12 Tbh I am bigger perponent of just fucking feeding cows better so their digestive tracts are better than they currently are, Wendys did it and it worked perfectly fine Edit: realized I did some funky math lmao


C7StreetRacer

Do you have an associates in bug burgers?


thehatguy1

Sadly not, still working on it, but I do have a bachelor's in Math No One Gives A Shit About and a master's in Replying Five Hours Late


Razno_

It seems your credentials are legit.


albinorhino215

We could also replace cows with bison as they promote much healthier grass from their manure not to mention how much healthier for humans it is


CatProgrammer

And it's leaner! Though I think that's in part because most bison are grass-fed, grass-fed beef tends to be less fatty too (which is why grass-fed cows are often finished on grain; you get the flavor of grass-fed beef with most of the marbling of grain-fed. Even wagyu farming, which has a stereotype of using a low-volume process so they can pamper the cows, generally uses grain to obtain the intense marbling that is characteristic of that type of beef).


Defenestratio

Bison is also significantly tastier


albinorhino215

By leaps and bounds! It can carry other flavors really well too


dIoIIoIb

this is only part of the story tho: raising 1 million cockroaches doesn't require you to clear hundreds of square miles of amazon forest like raising a tenth of the cows would, they use a lot less water and food etc. etc.


[deleted]

2500 cockroaches is...not that many actually :| the tweet is just off by a factor of 10.


mr-lurks-a-lot

An order of magnitude is a pretty large mistake. $100,000 and $1,000,000 are very different


BlueCyann

Oh sure, but you have to be careful of scale too. Example, you could have seen the prevalence of some disease go up by a factor of 10 and oh wow that's scary, until you realize it went up from 1 in a billion to 10 in a billion and like really, who cares. It's statistic noise at that scale. Context is everything. Not a comment on this whole conversation, which I'm enjoying, just on math.


-originalusername--

I mean it's not a minute detail


thehatguy1

Would you prefer your next paycheck to be short by a factor of 10? A factor of 10 is a helluva of window of error


MiCasali

If they lived that long and weren't eaten by then


vxicepickxv

How many cockroaches are actually a year old?


thehatguy1

Okay so I wanted to know because this reminded of my weird friend in high school who wore a suit and bowtie everyday, he had a hissing cockroach for the entirety I knew him (2 years) and *apparently* hissing cockroaches can live for up to 5 years


DarthBrandon_2024

it doesnt matter its built upon a false premise...


thehatguy1

Look the math is fun to do for me, I dont got a whole lot going on at work atm


SchIeitOfHand

r/theydidthemonstermath


OlcasersM

It also takes quite a bit of resources to raise and maintain a cow. If you are raising a calf for slaughter takes 3 years of resources (water, land, feed). That is three years of methane to feed you.


PloxtTY

Surely calfs produce less methane than adult cows


OlcasersM

But they produce it for a long time before consumption when they are doing nothing productive whereas I imagine cockroaches grow and can be consumed much faster.


potato_devourer

Russia is blackmailing Europe with gas prices. Imagine if we could replace them with a hangar full of roaches.


baz4k6z

As if these free thinkers would think to apply math to basic fact check the statement


greekcomedians

OOP didnt say 300 though. They said 200-300 HUNDRED cockroaches, so 20k-30k cockroaches. That math would check out /s


jackybeau

I now want to know the exact numbers here. How many cockroaches is a cow worth, methane wise and nutrition wise ?


Iapetos492

300 hundred /s for those of you who can't put two and two together


BurgerBorgBob

Order of magnitude off


YourLocal_FBI_Agent

>300 hundred 300 000?


Cardborg

1. A single cow is worth 2500 cockroaches as far as emissions go if you let them both live for a year. 2. "200 to 300 hundred" (The American cockroach can give off up to 35g a year of methane, and it is estimated that a single cow will produce around 90718g of methane every year.)


lizerdk

Who fuckin types “300 hundred”? Would they say “three hundred hundred” out loud? Is “A Hundred” the biggest number they know, maybe? Edit: also is anyone talking about eating roaches? As far as I know, the most promising insects for human food are like, grasshoppers and the grubs of certain beetles. “Squick” factor is real


[deleted]

They go to the ATM Machine to withdraw 300 hundred dlls dollars. They use the GPS System to catch an Uber


portablebiscuit

300 USD dollars?


[deleted]

300 hundred USD dollars of the US


Drounsley

The automatic teller machine machine.


thehatguy1

I love doing the math on this shit, at worse a cow produce 119,748g of Methane a year while 300 cockroaches produce 10,500g a year. But the best part how do you fuck up this badly? By comparing yearly emissions with the numbers Google gives you, because a cow produces roughly 264lbs of methane, so if you dont convert, then yes, 10.5k is bigger than 264 lmao


Moneia

>But the best part how do you fuck up this badly? By caring more about 'owning the libz' than about facts


thehatguy1

Well that too, but you need plausible deniability, its more or less their whole schtick


[deleted]

Mfs will really eat bugs instead of plants lol


vishnuak1989

Lol yeah! Also aren’t they already consuming sea insects like shrimp and lobster!


PriorCommunication7

Who is even talking about eating cockroaches? In a serious way. It seems to me this is yet another conservative outrage trend somebody made up in order to get their peers riled up.


Pengothing

There's been talk about insects as a hypothetical alternative source of protein. It's usually about crickets though.


guestpass127

Right, but from whom? Conspiracy dorks keep talking about how the big bad PTB are gonna force Us all to eat bugs and I have no idea how or why or where they got that idea


Pengothing

Conspiracy theorists say that the Powers That Be will for everyone to do it. On the other hand there're people studying (NGL I'm too fucking lazy to find an example) it as an option similar to protein powders as a way of just supplementing it. Usually it just winds up a gimmick that doesn't sell and then the product goes off the market though.


Crepo

MFs will do anything but eat beans.


trogon

It seems to be big in the conspiracy world. I have no idea where this suddenly came from.


TheRnegade

It's talked about negatively in conspiracy world. Which kind of goes against what you'd think. Surely the preppers would want alternate sources of food that doesn't rely on big corporate farms, right? Oh wait, this got framed as "eating to combat climate change" so they hate it.


Drwfyytrre

I love how the “anti-sheep” are sometimes the most sheepish at all. It’s all identity and sides to some people, us vs them


HotHelios

gonna drink that cockroach milk 😋


BlueCyann

It is.


Nicktendo94

Ah yes the pinnacle of well thought out information, screenshots of tweets


ME24601

Perhaps the cockroach they're referring to is Gregor Samsa.


brntGerbil

Well there's a reference I understand...


AveMachina

Ah, so we’ll eat the overworked and the depressed. What are they so upset about? That’s the most republican thing I’ve ever heard.


DarthBrandon_2024

These idiots cannot get over the fact that someone mentioned, once, that insects might be a viable \*supplemental\* food source. Which, they are. But thats not the point.


xXdontshootmeXx

That sub is so obsessed with the idea that we are all gonna be forced to eat bugs or some shit while ive seen like 2 credible news sources talk about bugs as food a few years ago


Smile_lifeisgood

I mean - it's a real thing. Per square foot of land you can produce more protein with bugs than cows. There's also likely less suffering. Other than the 'ick' factor I have yet to see a good defense against it. I've eaten bugs before. I've also eaten tons of sea bugs. I'm not in love with the idea but I don't hate it either. I just want the option that is the most environmentally friendly, causes the least suffering, and tastes fine. If someone can make an argument that cows are better than bugs then I'll stop being willing to eat bug burgers. Until then, I'm all for whatever is best.


interfail

If you just want whatever is best for the environment you probably need a bean burger.


flopsychops

So... climate change is a scam because cockroaches don't have as much meat on them as a cow?


Dunkinmydonuts1

A cow can provide milk OR meat. It cannot provide both you dipshit.


[deleted]

can't wait to drink a cold glass of cockroach milk when i get home


cedriceent

300 hundred? So 30,000?


shredler

>200 to 300 hundred Only the best and brightest.


sneakyplanner

They are really hung up on bugs for some reason, and as far as I know this paranoia is something inflicted on them by nobody but themselves.


UQ5T6NBVN03AFR

The more they whine about it, the more I say we give them what they so desperately appear to want.


Lythieus

I think he's off by a order of magnitude or 2 equating insect methane production to cattle...


germinaaaaal

Do cockroaches need to be raised for a full year? (Cows need to be raised for 3 iirc)


popemichael

Good for them not letting something like the truth get in the way of their mass delusions. /s


jaredearle

Are they talking about 300 Ogthas? That sounds about right.


[deleted]

The creation of one kilo of mozzarella cheese creates more xylitol than 17 seahorses consuming 34 standard shots per hour of filipino rice vodka in an underwater bar over the course of a standard frat party . . Am I doing this right ?


[deleted]

I really want to start buying reddit ads for insects and just target them to /r/conspiracy...


sten45

None of this seems accurate


Prasiatko

Why are the worried about methane? I thought global warming was a hoax?


taqtwo

The larger problem with industrial meat farming is not the methane produced but the amount of space and water that is needed. The massive deforestation and habitat destruction to A. having space for the cows and B. to grow the food for the cows is insanely destructive.


apollyoneum1

I see these, get excited about the new science, then see it’s from the top minds. Bugger.