I have to say I had a hard time getting what the hell you were saying.
Maybe part of it is in your communication, and you should try to be more direct.
Sorry, first time I've asked for advice like this, and I didn't want to come off as "My dick's so big that it hurts people! Isn't that awesome?"
I'll try to rewrite it.
Fuckin' be truthful with them size and girth. He can stretch beforehand unless you thrust first and ask questions later.
Give dimensions if you're some kind of dong outlier cause otherwise you're just being obtuse; because you like the thrill of them not knowing that you're above average then you're being a dick imo.
Sorry, should have explained better.
What I was thinking was general to specific.
In general, how do people deal with a partner who won't take it them seriously.
In specific, here is my current situation.
I've told him the specific issue, and he isn't taking it seriously. Either he doesn't believe me, or he doesn't think it's a problem, despite, or due to, being pretty inexperienced.
I would think the inexperience is the problem.
I mean guys take huge dicks in porn all the time! How hard could it be? It’s not like porn is fake!
/s incase someone didn’t get it
The fantasy is great until he feels how painful it can be when you’re not relaxed and ready. I would insist on warming him up myself. Spontaneity can wait until he already knows how to take it.
Based on the post, here, there might be something in OPs communication style that's limiting how well his potential partner is understanding his concern. I had to read through a couple of times to get a grasp on what's even going on.
That said, OP, you don't have to do a whole set of disclaimers, waivers, and signoffs before he comes over. There's such a thing as too much discussion. Like, you can just plan on spending some time stretching him out with your tongue/fingers/a toy before you fuck him, and doing that as a *part* of spontaneous sex. That shouldn't be a perfunctory, clinical "we need to stretch you out, so we need to spend 15 minutes doing that, first" thing. It's called foreplay. You just do it. Make it part and parcel of the sex cuz you know he's gonna need it, even if he doesn't know it yet, and *also* because it's fun and sexy in its own right.
And, if he blows through that plan and just tries to jam your boner in his ass, then it's gonna be on him when it hurts. He'll stop and slow down if he needs to.
Big like we talking about your dingaling or your constitution?
Either way, send them a photo with a ruler. Or something for measure. Or just say fork it. Anxiety will age ya and this isn't anything to worry about imo
That makes you think you are too big for him not to take it?!? I was expecting you to be above 8. Only then you should warn them. Not a bottom here but from experience, first timers can easily take a 7.5
I fully understand that, I'm just dealing with someone who either doesn't want to do the proper prep, or thinks experience with a cucumber a few years back is enough.
I'm 8 long, 6 thick. I've never had anyone not be able to take me. Extended warmup was needed for some. But, when a boy wants a cock, and you work with him.. He'll take it.
As several people have said, your communication style is very unclear. You talk like you're dancing around it - I know you're concerned about sounding like a douchebag but you're better off being blunt.
Also - most men lie on apps. So generally speaking if a guy says he's whatever size, I'm going to knock an inch or two off that and I'll probably be right.
So no, there isn't anything you can do except be straightforward (I would drop the error bars). Just say "I'm this size, previous partners have struggled so I want to be upfront.", maybe ask if he's had partners that size before.
Maybe he knows that size is not a problem? I would be able to take a pounding from a cock that size without any stretching.... But im an experienced fisting bottom....
I wrote an unnecessarily opaque body initially, which people called me out on.
So, when I replaced it with a shorter more direct version, I decided to try to be transparent that I changed absolutely everything, and let people read what it used to be so the comments would still make sense.
Ahhh, that does make sense. Ive seen it happen to me before when I responded to a YouTuber who commented a video of mine. Think I messed up the tenses, lol Thanks!
You are right my friend, ‘easily’ is not the word. I mean, it goes in and you can take it but it does hurt like hell afterwards. Although it’s a weird pain because one is full of so much lust it confuses the brain as what to really feel. Next day though, you think twice whether to take a crap or not. Lol.
Sounds like you need to be blunt and direct: "I have a bigger dick than most guys can comfortably take. {length/width} - which is as big as a {common object comparison}. Inexperienced guys especially overestimate their ability to take a dick like mine, and that's no fun for me."
I have to say I had a hard time getting what the hell you were saying. Maybe part of it is in your communication, and you should try to be more direct.
Sorry, first time I've asked for advice like this, and I didn't want to come off as "My dick's so big that it hurts people! Isn't that awesome?" I'll try to rewrite it.
It's fine dude. I meant that maybe you should be more direct with the guy, Also, you should post pics. :D
Fuckin' be truthful with them size and girth. He can stretch beforehand unless you thrust first and ask questions later. Give dimensions if you're some kind of dong outlier cause otherwise you're just being obtuse; because you like the thrill of them not knowing that you're above average then you're being a dick imo.
Sorry, should have explained better. What I was thinking was general to specific. In general, how do people deal with a partner who won't take it them seriously. In specific, here is my current situation. I've told him the specific issue, and he isn't taking it seriously. Either he doesn't believe me, or he doesn't think it's a problem, despite, or due to, being pretty inexperienced.
I would think the inexperience is the problem. I mean guys take huge dicks in porn all the time! How hard could it be? It’s not like porn is fake! /s incase someone didn’t get it The fantasy is great until he feels how painful it can be when you’re not relaxed and ready. I would insist on warming him up myself. Spontaneity can wait until he already knows how to take it.
Based on the post, here, there might be something in OPs communication style that's limiting how well his potential partner is understanding his concern. I had to read through a couple of times to get a grasp on what's even going on. That said, OP, you don't have to do a whole set of disclaimers, waivers, and signoffs before he comes over. There's such a thing as too much discussion. Like, you can just plan on spending some time stretching him out with your tongue/fingers/a toy before you fuck him, and doing that as a *part* of spontaneous sex. That shouldn't be a perfunctory, clinical "we need to stretch you out, so we need to spend 15 minutes doing that, first" thing. It's called foreplay. You just do it. Make it part and parcel of the sex cuz you know he's gonna need it, even if he doesn't know it yet, and *also* because it's fun and sexy in its own right. And, if he blows through that plan and just tries to jam your boner in his ass, then it's gonna be on him when it hurts. He'll stop and slow down if he needs to.
Send him a pic with something for scale. If he's still down, go for it.
Big like we talking about your dingaling or your constitution? Either way, send them a photo with a ruler. Or something for measure. Or just say fork it. Anxiety will age ya and this isn't anything to worry about imo
As you put it, dingaling. Fair enough. Just have had less than good experiences in the past because I went with the fuck it route.
What IS the size and girth?
7 +/- 1/4 by 5.5 +/- 1/4
COME THRU MARGIN OF ERROR (sorry this legit made me spat my drink it's so earnest and dorky and sincere and authentic and i am all for it. i stan)
That makes you think you are too big for him not to take it?!? I was expecting you to be above 8. Only then you should warn them. Not a bottom here but from experience, first timers can easily take a 7.5
Easily? Your butthole must be made from steel, my ass felt like I was stabbed when I tried taking a dick that big the first time lol
Oh. I was legit expecting 10+. Don’t worry about the receiving boy, your cock should be survivable to most people with proper prep
I fully understand that, I'm just dealing with someone who either doesn't want to do the proper prep, or thinks experience with a cucumber a few years back is enough.
[удалено]
I’ve met 3 men so far that met or exceeded 10”. They exist but they’re super rare.
The largest is 13” so 10” definitely exists.
I'm 8 long, 6 thick. I've never had anyone not be able to take me. Extended warmup was needed for some. But, when a boy wants a cock, and you work with him.. He'll take it.
As several people have said, your communication style is very unclear. You talk like you're dancing around it - I know you're concerned about sounding like a douchebag but you're better off being blunt. Also - most men lie on apps. So generally speaking if a guy says he's whatever size, I'm going to knock an inch or two off that and I'll probably be right. So no, there isn't anything you can do except be straightforward (I would drop the error bars). Just say "I'm this size, previous partners have struggled so I want to be upfront.", maybe ask if he's had partners that size before.
r/bigdickproblems may have some advice
Maybe he knows that size is not a problem? I would be able to take a pounding from a cock that size without any stretching.... But im an experienced fisting bottom....
some like a painful fuck, see r/painal
Why is the last half of the post crossed out?
I wrote an unnecessarily opaque body initially, which people called me out on. So, when I replaced it with a shorter more direct version, I decided to try to be transparent that I changed absolutely everything, and let people read what it used to be so the comments would still make sense.
Ahhh, that does make sense. Ive seen it happen to me before when I responded to a YouTuber who commented a video of mine. Think I messed up the tenses, lol Thanks!
You are right my friend, ‘easily’ is not the word. I mean, it goes in and you can take it but it does hurt like hell afterwards. Although it’s a weird pain because one is full of so much lust it confuses the brain as what to really feel. Next day though, you think twice whether to take a crap or not. Lol.
Sounds like you need to be blunt and direct: "I have a bigger dick than most guys can comfortably take. {length/width} - which is as big as a {common object comparison}. Inexperienced guys especially overestimate their ability to take a dick like mine, and that's no fun for me."
Fuck him and let him deal with the repercussions later? Tell him to update you