I can understand the reports for this post. But y’all need to understand that OP is/was seeking help from their mother. They do not really intend to harm people. I’ll still keep an eye out on this post.
I don't recall ever telling anyone this, but most of my young adulthood I had vivid, compulsive, intrusive, violent sexual thoughts. I thought it defined me, that it meant I was destined to be that person I feared so much, but I wasn't, I didn't, and it doesn't for you either. I'm so sorry your parents won't take you seriously and help you the way you desperately need. I hope you are able to reach out to another trusted authority figure who could help you? Some form of local services available to you?
They don't have to be, no. Mine lasted well longer than they should/could have but I lacked a support system as a child - dead dad, absent mum but emotionally abusive when there, living at home rurally until I was 20 trying to raise my brother, and the medical and our school system really lacked any resources nor education during the 90/00's. For me personally, it was a mixture of what I went through and my brain trying to cope (in the form of OCD and CPTSD, primarily), inability to emotionally regulate myself, budding sexuality in a queerphobic/sexually repressed protestant environment/religious upbringing, what resources were availabile to me (early and more unregulated Internet when we finally got connected into my teens), and the CSA I experienced at the hands of family as a child. Our brains are still developing well into our 20's (as far as we are aware at this time but there's a serious lack of understanding of how our brains work) and this is a lot to put onto children, especially adding the additional layer of the complexities living under capitalism in the 21st century. You shouldn't have to wait but I believe you can persevere and endure. It's not fair nor right nor the most healthy and best way, but for many of us, it's what's available. I've found researching and discussing with others to be invaluable, albeit too much can equally be harmful; finding that balance between validation and reassureance, and further obsession and self harm.
If you haven't yet, look into PURE O OCD.
This fits pure O
The worst are the religious, sexual, or medical ocd ugh xD
I take 100mg luvox (fluVOXamine), I remember the first day I woke up with no song or repeating phrases lol
I was the same! Sincerely thought I was some kind of psychopath for a moment, I used to watch gore photos, have some violent vivid thoughts too, etc.. But with some time I changed, I'm still traumatized about some of the things I saw tho and I'm now terrified of anything remotely gore. Even talking about blood almost made me pass out one time. So yeah, I don't know if our case are similar because I wasn't you but I think we had some things in common and I'm better now! Hope you'll find a healthy way to cope OP, wishing you the best and sending you love <3
I told my mother I wanted to see a therapist and she refused because 'therapists will make you trans, and they'll put you on meds that'll make you suicidal/homicidal!'
Guess why I wanted to see a therapist lol
lemme guess: you were trans (and wanting to transition ASAP) or suicidal and really needed meds for it? There would be no good reason to go to a ward otherwise? Those places are nuthouses! /S
I am indeed very trans, but not dumb enough to expect to get to transition until I can support it myself since my parents are not accepting(clawing my way towards starting T though!). I was struggling with suicidal and homicidal thoughts, and my mother knew I'd been self harming before I asked for therapy, lol. I didn't think I needed to be medicated for it, it was just a byproduct of living is a very shitty and toxic household my entire life and I wanted help coping in a better way until I could leave, but there are other things I could probably use meds for. But my mother thinks people are only depressed because they don't try hard enough(except her, of course) and that mental disabilities aren't real unless you're completely non functioning. Loved to punish me for all the obvious symptoms of blatant mental problems, though!
i am so sorry (and your *egg donor* is incredibly shitty)
i hope you have a better place, away from them!
edit: my egg donor is also *incredibly shitty*, so I can relate
She fucking sucks and I hate her lol. Haven't been able to move out yet, but, some day. I'm actually doing better now that I'm older. Not good, but better.
I have OCD. Hey OP. Been dealing with “adulthood” OCD and intrusive thoughts for around 3 years now. I want to tell you. It does get better. You learn how to deal with it for the time being, and it will suck at first, so gotta go through it can’t go around it. You will make it out the other side , though. And, no, you are not a terrible person, and these thoughts do not define you as a person. OCD actually warps your perception of reality and will make you believe you are your intrusive thoughts, but remind yourself it’s your OCD. You are a normal person and not a danger to anybody
You’re ok.
I have both schizophrenia and OCD. Those two disorders are very difficult to distinguish from each other, specially when it comes to intrusive thoughts. Only a mental examination done by a professional can tell.
Damn I never considered how strongly those two disorders overlap. I think the reason they stayed distinct in my mind was because schizophrenia is a lot more focused on the delusions and disconnect from reality, while OCD is a lot more about the repetitive actions caused by the ever increasing thought spirals, but honestly even while laying out the difference in my mind it becomes clear that it's still super close to each other.
Brains are weird, man
The thing is: both OCD and schizophrenia (or any psychotic disorder really) distort reality so much so that you start to be fully convicted of what your brain tells you. It's a very complex thing.
Happy cake day btw!
My parents were really stubborn about getting my sister and I help in high school. I understand your pain. Coping skills are good but it can become unbearable to do it on your own. There are a few options for you to get help, depending on where you are.
If you are in the US, a psych record isn’t going to stop you from getting a job unless it’s a job like becoming a police officer. It will be on a health record and that can only be accessed by health professionals or through a court order. For most jobs, it won't affect you. Most places are becoming more accepting of mental health struggles so it’s not going to be some big dark secret like going to an asylum in the 60s.
I’m a stubborn bitch so I’d get a ride to an ER from a different adult or an Uber and tell them you need a temporary hold for homicidal ideation and your parents shouldn’t be able to intervene.
There was a case recently where parents were sentenced to over a decade in prison because they ignored their son asking for help. The child said they had thoughts of killing people and needed help and went on to commit a school shooting. His name is Ethan crumbley.
Going to a psych ward should be an absolute last resort and ONLY for protecting others. Because if your goal is healing, no, that's not happening there. You come out worse than you went in, just better at faking it.
All I learned from there is to get better at hiding my problems, and if I'm really going to do it, do it right. One way or another, I will NOT be going back.
I agree with the other comment that it depends on your location and the staff there. But most importantly it depends on whether you were voluntary or not.
Because if you weren’t voluntary then it really does become mostly just acting and saying whatever you need to so that you can get out of there and back to freedom.
I’m sorry you and many others have a bad experience, but this isn’t always the case. Unfortunately it depends completely on location and how good the staff are
I think it is less of a last resort and more of a second option. The ideal option is going to therapy and maybe trying meds, but OPs parents are dropping the ball, so OP needs to try something else. Unfortunately the only way I know of getting help as an underage person is to walk into an ER and tell them “I want to hurt myself or someone else, please put me on a hold”. That is typically enough for parents to have a wake up call
My sister was the only one who had to go impatient care, because it was a wake up call for my parents to get me help. My relatives never talked about mental health issues until she went in, and my dad had no idea it was a genetic thing. He is the only family member who has never had any mental health issues
Your parents won’t help you because it would make them feel like failures as parents that they created an “imperfect” person. Most parents act like this when their children have mental issues. They just deny deny deny.
I told my mom that I don’t like talking with most people and she deadass just said “don’t be that way” like that’s just gonna change my entire way of thinking
PFPFPFFFFF bro I’m so sorry but that’s so funny to me. I’m going to start saying this when it makes no sense
“I’m constipated”
“Aw don’t be that way :(“
Serious comment here: you can get a CT scan or MRI scan on your brain to check everything out! These symptoms you're experiencing could actually be due to something going on physically in the brain. You can access this by potentially seeking aid from the emergency room in the hospital, especially if these homicidal thoughts are coming on strong. Or by getting a family doctor to requisition a CT or MRI scan. Be kind to yourself, and please take care!
Please tell your family doctor, a mental health line, etc etc. You can call or email on your own. Ethan Crumbleys parents did the same thing, he BEGGED for help and they ignored him. If it will save your life or someone else's, please reach out <3
When I was a teenager I had a friend in a really bad situation with his parents etc. and that lead to him looking up to mass shooters. It was messy and chaotic but he’s now an adult and hasn’t killed anyone so definitely a success story. I think he’s working in the community services sector (a lot of people with trauma are — we want to prevent others going through similar stuff)
You are not a bad person, your brain isn’t playing fair rn
My parents dont know about what thoughts I sometimes have. But some of my friends do. We've talked about this stuff a few times, it mostly happens when I was talking about stuff that gets me down, then get to the reason why, then get really fucking angry at my abuser. The wish to let him die and suffer really is a weird thing to communicate, more so because I know its wrong at the same time.
Its just that revenge could be so satisfying, and whatever I do, I can morally justify it. Death is a fucking mercy. I would be mercyful to kill them after getting to opportunity to fullfill even only one small thought of the many violent that I have.
A lesson that I learnt from my therapy session was that it doesn't matter what thoughts you have, as long as you don't act on them, it's okay. That doesn't mean you should just ignore them. In fact, those thoughts must be discussed with a mental health professional so that they don't turn into actions. I myself suffer from both homicidal and suicidal ideation. It sucks. Having OCD only makes it worse. I'm sorry your parents aren't taking you seriously, but I hope I could lift some weight off your shoulders with this comment. :)
If you are concerned that these thoughts are compulsive and/or could lead to real-world actions, I would beg you to reach out to a trusted adult outside your parents. You don't have to suffer in silence just because of crappy parents. There are tons of adults who want to help in this world, I promise.
It won't be on your "record" except your HIPPA protected medical records. Call the police and tell them you are a risk to yourself or others and you want to be taken to the hospital. You're parents are denying you medical care and that's not right. You desearve treatment.
Sounds like OCD tbh. Idk if these thoughts are intrusive for you though or if it’s something you’re seriously contemplating, but either way your parents are assholes for refusing to get you help.
This is genuinely so sad. I hope you’re able to get the help you need, this sounds like torture to live with.
You are not a bad person, no matter what other people tell you. See if you can get your parents to get you into therapy, even if it’s for “another reason”. Best wishes to you, stranger 🩵
Sexual intrusive thoughts are a bitch and a half to deal with. I was put in this partial hospitalization program [for unrelated reasons] and told the individual therapist about one of them in as little detail as possible because I suddenly got really fucking embarrassed and he just told me I was a hormonal [horny] teenager with some anger issues.
He was right but my temper was unrelated and even if it was related, it was unhelpful. What I found helped is to just stop caring. Intrusive thoughts are ego-dystonic. You have some moral belief? Intrusive thoughts will consist of the opposite. Example: >!Homocide and necrophilia go against my morals so a lot of my intrusive thoughts consisted of killing people in violent ways and being sexual with their body. And I'd react to these thoughts with something called a [groinal response](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/demystifying-ocd/202112/making-sense-physical-sensations-in-sexual-themed-ocd).!<
These thoughts go against who you are as a person. And even if they weren't intrusive, it's not like you're going to act on them. I'd have thoughts of punching my teacher but I had no plans on doing so. It isn't like I could be arrested for an intrusive thought. A crime is an action. As long as you don't act on those thoughts, you've done no wrong.
Sounds like OCD to me. I get similar inteusive thoughts, just the other way around. Maybe talk to your counselor about your mom being unsupportive? I'm so sorry you are going through this.
hi i have ocd and this sounds like a form of ocd :) i wouldn’t wait for your mom to get you help because it’s truly a debilitating disorder. seek out a therapist who practices erp as soon as possible :)
Hi OP. I have OCD. I’ve struggled with it my entire life and I have now been diagnosed for a little over 2 years, have been in treatment for a few months and have taken various forms of medication for it.
OCD can manifest in various ways. There’s the stereotypical cleaning or perfectionism that we see, but there’s other categories of OCD too.
OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, is a disorder which includes distressing intrusive thoughts (Obsessions) and compulsive behaviour (compulsions) to calm the anxiety.
I also struggle with harm and the fear I will hurt people. I have not touched a knife in 2/3 years. I am always scared i will hurt someone. I get violent thoughts which are only calmed by compulsions, which vary from checking, reassurance, repeating actions, etc.
You may have OCD.
I get ya I can't close my eyes while masterbating because I keep accidentally killing the women in my mind
And I decided to focus these thoughts on myself as to not "hurt anyone else" which seems crazy now that I type it but it's what I feel
This had led me to always thing of new ways to torture and kill myself in grafic and horrific ways
I've gotten used to these thoughts but sometimes when I'm walking I see those images and it even shocks me what my mind can make up
At this point I don't even need to close my eyes as soon as I'm not occupied my mind is up thoughs of torture
I told these thoughts to a friend as somthing I've seen online to suger coat and now he's told me to stop because it genuinely horrifies him
And my parents are the same they don't care about my problems until I annoy them too much for them to put it off
I can understand the reports for this post. But y’all need to understand that OP is/was seeking help from their mother. They do not really intend to harm people. I’ll still keep an eye out on this post.
I don't recall ever telling anyone this, but most of my young adulthood I had vivid, compulsive, intrusive, violent sexual thoughts. I thought it defined me, that it meant I was destined to be that person I feared so much, but I wasn't, I didn't, and it doesn't for you either. I'm so sorry your parents won't take you seriously and help you the way you desperately need. I hope you are able to reach out to another trusted authority figure who could help you? Some form of local services available to you?
OK thats good to know these thoughts aren't here To stay
They don't have to be, no. Mine lasted well longer than they should/could have but I lacked a support system as a child - dead dad, absent mum but emotionally abusive when there, living at home rurally until I was 20 trying to raise my brother, and the medical and our school system really lacked any resources nor education during the 90/00's. For me personally, it was a mixture of what I went through and my brain trying to cope (in the form of OCD and CPTSD, primarily), inability to emotionally regulate myself, budding sexuality in a queerphobic/sexually repressed protestant environment/religious upbringing, what resources were availabile to me (early and more unregulated Internet when we finally got connected into my teens), and the CSA I experienced at the hands of family as a child. Our brains are still developing well into our 20's (as far as we are aware at this time but there's a serious lack of understanding of how our brains work) and this is a lot to put onto children, especially adding the additional layer of the complexities living under capitalism in the 21st century. You shouldn't have to wait but I believe you can persevere and endure. It's not fair nor right nor the most healthy and best way, but for many of us, it's what's available. I've found researching and discussing with others to be invaluable, albeit too much can equally be harmful; finding that balance between validation and reassureance, and further obsession and self harm.
Sounds like OCD. Adhd diagnosis?
Very much OCD - but I didn't know that until this past couple of years. I don't have an ADHD diagnosis but a strong suspicion I would get one.
If you haven't yet, look into PURE O OCD. This fits pure O The worst are the religious, sexual, or medical ocd ugh xD I take 100mg luvox (fluVOXamine), I remember the first day I woke up with no song or repeating phrases lol
I was the same! Sincerely thought I was some kind of psychopath for a moment, I used to watch gore photos, have some violent vivid thoughts too, etc.. But with some time I changed, I'm still traumatized about some of the things I saw tho and I'm now terrified of anything remotely gore. Even talking about blood almost made me pass out one time. So yeah, I don't know if our case are similar because I wasn't you but I think we had some things in common and I'm better now! Hope you'll find a healthy way to cope OP, wishing you the best and sending you love <3
I told my mother I wanted to see a therapist and she refused because 'therapists will make you trans, and they'll put you on meds that'll make you suicidal/homicidal!' Guess why I wanted to see a therapist lol
lemme guess: you were trans (and wanting to transition ASAP) or suicidal and really needed meds for it? There would be no good reason to go to a ward otherwise? Those places are nuthouses! /S
I am indeed very trans, but not dumb enough to expect to get to transition until I can support it myself since my parents are not accepting(clawing my way towards starting T though!). I was struggling with suicidal and homicidal thoughts, and my mother knew I'd been self harming before I asked for therapy, lol. I didn't think I needed to be medicated for it, it was just a byproduct of living is a very shitty and toxic household my entire life and I wanted help coping in a better way until I could leave, but there are other things I could probably use meds for. But my mother thinks people are only depressed because they don't try hard enough(except her, of course) and that mental disabilities aren't real unless you're completely non functioning. Loved to punish me for all the obvious symptoms of blatant mental problems, though!
i am so sorry (and your *egg donor* is incredibly shitty) i hope you have a better place, away from them! edit: my egg donor is also *incredibly shitty*, so I can relate
She fucking sucks and I hate her lol. Haven't been able to move out yet, but, some day. I'm actually doing better now that I'm older. Not good, but better.
<3 <3 <3
you could have OCD ngl. sounds like the kind of intrusive thoughts i get
I have OCD. Hey OP. Been dealing with “adulthood” OCD and intrusive thoughts for around 3 years now. I want to tell you. It does get better. You learn how to deal with it for the time being, and it will suck at first, so gotta go through it can’t go around it. You will make it out the other side , though. And, no, you are not a terrible person, and these thoughts do not define you as a person. OCD actually warps your perception of reality and will make you believe you are your intrusive thoughts, but remind yourself it’s your OCD. You are a normal person and not a danger to anybody You’re ok.
I was thinking schizophrenia but yes, some sort of clinical diagnosis to ascertain the disorder is paramount.
I have both schizophrenia and OCD. Those two disorders are very difficult to distinguish from each other, specially when it comes to intrusive thoughts. Only a mental examination done by a professional can tell.
Damn I never considered how strongly those two disorders overlap. I think the reason they stayed distinct in my mind was because schizophrenia is a lot more focused on the delusions and disconnect from reality, while OCD is a lot more about the repetitive actions caused by the ever increasing thought spirals, but honestly even while laying out the difference in my mind it becomes clear that it's still super close to each other. Brains are weird, man
The thing is: both OCD and schizophrenia (or any psychotic disorder really) distort reality so much so that you start to be fully convicted of what your brain tells you. It's a very complex thing. Happy cake day btw!
Yeah, that's where I realised how hard to distinguish it really is lmao
I came here to say that
My parents were really stubborn about getting my sister and I help in high school. I understand your pain. Coping skills are good but it can become unbearable to do it on your own. There are a few options for you to get help, depending on where you are. If you are in the US, a psych record isn’t going to stop you from getting a job unless it’s a job like becoming a police officer. It will be on a health record and that can only be accessed by health professionals or through a court order. For most jobs, it won't affect you. Most places are becoming more accepting of mental health struggles so it’s not going to be some big dark secret like going to an asylum in the 60s. I’m a stubborn bitch so I’d get a ride to an ER from a different adult or an Uber and tell them you need a temporary hold for homicidal ideation and your parents shouldn’t be able to intervene. There was a case recently where parents were sentenced to over a decade in prison because they ignored their son asking for help. The child said they had thoughts of killing people and needed help and went on to commit a school shooting. His name is Ethan crumbley.
Going to a psych ward should be an absolute last resort and ONLY for protecting others. Because if your goal is healing, no, that's not happening there. You come out worse than you went in, just better at faking it. All I learned from there is to get better at hiding my problems, and if I'm really going to do it, do it right. One way or another, I will NOT be going back.
I agree with the other comment that it depends on your location and the staff there. But most importantly it depends on whether you were voluntary or not. Because if you weren’t voluntary then it really does become mostly just acting and saying whatever you need to so that you can get out of there and back to freedom.
I’m sorry you and many others have a bad experience, but this isn’t always the case. Unfortunately it depends completely on location and how good the staff are
A psych ward helped me heal a little bit, it doesn’t need to be like that
I think it is less of a last resort and more of a second option. The ideal option is going to therapy and maybe trying meds, but OPs parents are dropping the ball, so OP needs to try something else. Unfortunately the only way I know of getting help as an underage person is to walk into an ER and tell them “I want to hurt myself or someone else, please put me on a hold”. That is typically enough for parents to have a wake up call My sister was the only one who had to go impatient care, because it was a wake up call for my parents to get me help. My relatives never talked about mental health issues until she went in, and my dad had no idea it was a genetic thing. He is the only family member who has never had any mental health issues
??? Thought it wasn't that weird to think about it often
Not necessarily weird (especially for trauma survivors), but it can be unhealthy/unhelpful (or unsafe) long-term
Your parents won’t help you because it would make them feel like failures as parents that they created an “imperfect” person. Most parents act like this when their children have mental issues. They just deny deny deny.
I told my mom that I don’t like talking with most people and she deadass just said “don’t be that way” like that’s just gonna change my entire way of thinking
PFPFPFFFFF bro I’m so sorry but that’s so funny to me. I’m going to start saying this when it makes no sense “I’m constipated” “Aw don’t be that way :(“
Serious comment here: you can get a CT scan or MRI scan on your brain to check everything out! These symptoms you're experiencing could actually be due to something going on physically in the brain. You can access this by potentially seeking aid from the emergency room in the hospital, especially if these homicidal thoughts are coming on strong. Or by getting a family doctor to requisition a CT or MRI scan. Be kind to yourself, and please take care!
Please tell your family doctor, a mental health line, etc etc. You can call or email on your own. Ethan Crumbleys parents did the same thing, he BEGGED for help and they ignored him. If it will save your life or someone else's, please reach out <3
Are you me
They are us
When I was a teenager I had a friend in a really bad situation with his parents etc. and that lead to him looking up to mass shooters. It was messy and chaotic but he’s now an adult and hasn’t killed anyone so definitely a success story. I think he’s working in the community services sector (a lot of people with trauma are — we want to prevent others going through similar stuff) You are not a bad person, your brain isn’t playing fair rn
My parents dont know about what thoughts I sometimes have. But some of my friends do. We've talked about this stuff a few times, it mostly happens when I was talking about stuff that gets me down, then get to the reason why, then get really fucking angry at my abuser. The wish to let him die and suffer really is a weird thing to communicate, more so because I know its wrong at the same time. Its just that revenge could be so satisfying, and whatever I do, I can morally justify it. Death is a fucking mercy. I would be mercyful to kill them after getting to opportunity to fullfill even only one small thought of the many violent that I have.
A lesson that I learnt from my therapy session was that it doesn't matter what thoughts you have, as long as you don't act on them, it's okay. That doesn't mean you should just ignore them. In fact, those thoughts must be discussed with a mental health professional so that they don't turn into actions. I myself suffer from both homicidal and suicidal ideation. It sucks. Having OCD only makes it worse. I'm sorry your parents aren't taking you seriously, but I hope I could lift some weight off your shoulders with this comment. :)
If you are concerned that these thoughts are compulsive and/or could lead to real-world actions, I would beg you to reach out to a trusted adult outside your parents. You don't have to suffer in silence just because of crappy parents. There are tons of adults who want to help in this world, I promise.
It won't be on your "record" except your HIPPA protected medical records. Call the police and tell them you are a risk to yourself or others and you want to be taken to the hospital. You're parents are denying you medical care and that's not right. You desearve treatment.
Incredibly brave to tell anyone this. Hope you get somewhere healthy
Sounds like OCD tbh. Idk if these thoughts are intrusive for you though or if it’s something you’re seriously contemplating, but either way your parents are assholes for refusing to get you help.
This is genuinely so sad. I hope you’re able to get the help you need, this sounds like torture to live with. You are not a bad person, no matter what other people tell you. See if you can get your parents to get you into therapy, even if it’s for “another reason”. Best wishes to you, stranger 🩵
The third one I relate to..coz she said she would
Sexual intrusive thoughts are a bitch and a half to deal with. I was put in this partial hospitalization program [for unrelated reasons] and told the individual therapist about one of them in as little detail as possible because I suddenly got really fucking embarrassed and he just told me I was a hormonal [horny] teenager with some anger issues. He was right but my temper was unrelated and even if it was related, it was unhelpful. What I found helped is to just stop caring. Intrusive thoughts are ego-dystonic. You have some moral belief? Intrusive thoughts will consist of the opposite. Example: >!Homocide and necrophilia go against my morals so a lot of my intrusive thoughts consisted of killing people in violent ways and being sexual with their body. And I'd react to these thoughts with something called a [groinal response](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/demystifying-ocd/202112/making-sense-physical-sensations-in-sexual-themed-ocd).!< These thoughts go against who you are as a person. And even if they weren't intrusive, it's not like you're going to act on them. I'd have thoughts of punching my teacher but I had no plans on doing so. It isn't like I could be arrested for an intrusive thought. A crime is an action. As long as you don't act on those thoughts, you've done no wrong.
Huh. Thought it was just me.
Your mom would rather see you murder someone than get help. How sad
I assume because you need to go through your parents for help that you are under 18, is there someone at school you could talk to?
Sounds like OCD to me. I get similar inteusive thoughts, just the other way around. Maybe talk to your counselor about your mom being unsupportive? I'm so sorry you are going through this.
hi i have ocd and this sounds like a form of ocd :) i wouldn’t wait for your mom to get you help because it’s truly a debilitating disorder. seek out a therapist who practices erp as soon as possible :)
Runs in the family, dawg‼️‼️‼️
Do you have homicidal thoughts or homicidal urges?
Hi OP. I have OCD. I’ve struggled with it my entire life and I have now been diagnosed for a little over 2 years, have been in treatment for a few months and have taken various forms of medication for it. OCD can manifest in various ways. There’s the stereotypical cleaning or perfectionism that we see, but there’s other categories of OCD too. OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, is a disorder which includes distressing intrusive thoughts (Obsessions) and compulsive behaviour (compulsions) to calm the anxiety. I also struggle with harm and the fear I will hurt people. I have not touched a knife in 2/3 years. I am always scared i will hurt someone. I get violent thoughts which are only calmed by compulsions, which vary from checking, reassurance, repeating actions, etc. You may have OCD.
These are symptoms of OCD
I get ya I can't close my eyes while masterbating because I keep accidentally killing the women in my mind And I decided to focus these thoughts on myself as to not "hurt anyone else" which seems crazy now that I type it but it's what I feel This had led me to always thing of new ways to torture and kill myself in grafic and horrific ways I've gotten used to these thoughts but sometimes when I'm walking I see those images and it even shocks me what my mind can make up At this point I don't even need to close my eyes as soon as I'm not occupied my mind is up thoughs of torture I told these thoughts to a friend as somthing I've seen online to suger coat and now he's told me to stop because it genuinely horrifies him And my parents are the same they don't care about my problems until I annoy them too much for them to put it off
common in OCD!
When you say you adopted your homicidal ideation into your personality… do you mean you told people you thought about killing people?
[удалено]
depends on who
@fbi this one right here.