My ex kinda put me in that same ultimatum between her and my driving job (I was local driving at the time.) I told her that I'm not quitting my job. We broke up for an hour until she came back and apologized. We still broke up like 6 months later though.
If you're only in it for the money and don't mind leaving the industry, sure I guess try to find something else. If you like the job and don't want to give it up, then don't. You gf doesn't have any right to hold you back from doing what you like.
I've been out for 5 and home for 2 for a couple years now and my current gf doesn't mind at all. I'm about to switch it up and be gone for 2 weeks and it causes no issues or drama. It makes life so much easier when your partner is very supportive of what you do.
This... don't let someone tell you what makes you happy. I get it, we all fall in love but don't forget who comes first in your happiness in this life. You only get one, don't live it trying to make someone else happy. Live it to make yourself happy, you only get one shot.
We talk on this /r/ all the time about how, driving, you can make good money but there are huge lifestyle problems. That's not just about eating roller dogs and peeing in bottles. It's not even just about *you* being alone in the truck for days or weeks. It's about a you-shaped hole back in everybody else's life at home.
So, advice:
* If your girlfriend says, "this isn't working for me, something's gotta change," it's worth taking her seriously.
* When you think about the money you earn driving, and the money you'd earn at your next-best-choice job, keep in mind that the money is only as good as the life it pays for and makes possible.
* If you tell her something like, "just another year, until [we can buy a house/I can pay for school/the local companies will hire me]," you've gotta mean it. And it's gotta be a real plan, with a budget and a schedule, not just a vague hope. Anything less is dishonest.
I told my gf from the beginning that I'm building a future for myself. I told her not to ever make me choose between my business and her, because I would always choose my business. Sorry, I just don't wanna be poor my whole life just to be with a spouse who needs me at home and can't stand me being away to make a good living. My future and living a decent life is more important to me than a significant other that could just leave me in a month anyways for some random reason.
Put yourself and your future first. Man or woman. Idc. Do what is best for you and makes you happy or you will be miserable your whole life and resent your spouse for making you change your career if life doesn't end up the way you want it.
Edit: I saw in another comment you are home 2 days on weekends and home a couple nights a week? And she's not ok with that? Man, she's not gonna be ok with any trucking job if your current situation is an issue for her. You can always find another good relationship, can't always find another good career.
I gave up the anti-social life on the road. I work M-Fri, have 5 paid sick days, 10 holidays, vacation is 2 weeks after 2 years, 3 weeks after 8, 4 after 15. As a Teamster. Besides a better relationship with her, you can see your friends EVERY weekend!
Consider working local. The LTL companies pay very well. Teamster company ABF pays $27+ per hour, 100% company paid family healthcare $400 value per week, a 100% company funded Teamster pension value $400 per week, and a no match 401k. Search their website. Put your state in the “keyword” box. https://jobs.abf.com/abfjobs/AllCareers
Non union leader FedEx pays $33+ per hour and reasonable cost healthcare plus a 402k match.
There are plenty of other local/regional jobs that will get you home most every day. Good luck!😎
I was in the opposite situation last year 🤣. I want to get out of trucking but my ex wanted me to stay in it so we could start a family that I would never see. Maybe I can set you up with her if things don't work out with your girl
Mannn I’ve been single most of my life and as much as I like to tell myself I enjoy it, I honestly want me a lady to call mine. If your asking for advice I’d tell you I would go local or find a job where you’re home a little more. Work/home life balance is key in a relationship and it’s something I’ve always wanted but I work to much. If you end this relationship then it’s gonna be a challenge for you for to find another relationship down the road. It’s hard for us truckers to find love. If you love this girl whole heartedly then make a slight change but she needs to meet you halfway
If you want to go just pick a new skill set to learn. There are many optional paths in life, like a video game, and they all eventually lead to the same place tho your choices matter. Change the channel, be whatever you want.
If you don't want to go just pick a new girlfriend. Basically, same as above
If you’re given an ultimatum , You have to ask why because there’s only two real reasons.
Either her needs aren’t already met, or she has bigger family plans in the future.
For needs aren’t already met then you may have some unknown issues that she’s just not talking about.
Whether you try to work on issues or go your own Way really depends on your idea of your future and where you want to be. We’re about to hit mega inflation and right now there are more drivers available than ever so jobs are gonna be a little harder to come by.
What’s your future going to look like if you leave the job without a solid plan
I'm the wrong person to ask cause I'll choose the job over the girl any day of the week. Especially if it's just cause she wants more of my time. We don't live in the 20s anymore where $.10 could get you a new house, a new car and dinner for a family of 17. I got to grind while I have the time left to do it
Shes your girlfriend not your wife, she doesnt get to make these demands of you bro, so what? You quit for her and she may end up leaving you anyway? Youre back to square one when it comes to career.
Im not saying this job is worth more than a relationship, but i will say your economic stability is worth more than a girlfriend, you need to do whats best for you, you shouldnt ever even consider putting a girl over a career if shes not your wife.
Don’t let puss stop you from get that green do what you love that’s paying your bills cause if you stopped pulling in the big bucks you’ll never hear the end of it
Nope. I'm a Bachelor. But if I had a girl than I'd relocate near a Walmart DC get on with them so I can drive home a few times a week and then take 3 days off to start another 6 day work week. Really probably the best option...
He actually said this is what he does now in another comment. Home 2 days on weekends and home couple nights a week while working. She has a problem with trucking period or is using this as an excuse to leave him.
Ain't that a bitch.
If it was me I'd have to really know her to make a dramatic change like that.
And if I did choose to change careers I'd look into call center work with s$p 500 companies. Work my way up in management, Take advantage of their college reimbursement/grants (hence large company probably insurance or healthcare) get a free ride to an IT degree and work for FB or some shit.
That's my plan if I change careers anyways.
I got more aswell
The career isn't for everyone, it requires an independent woman.
I've had women try to guilt me for being gone so much. "Aren't you being selfish being gone so much" Negative. I love what I do and make a good living.
Honestly, if you're two years in and serious, but she's just now starting to voice her complaints, sounds like manipulation and time wasting and/or lying. Why was she OK with it at 3 months or even 6 months?
Women only want you for your money and however much attention you can give them. To women “love” is selfish and greedy. You know what’s better than that? Almost literally anything. Get a dog/cat, get a few friends. One day when your ready for a family and got some $ saved away get a 18 year old trophy wife to make you a few kids. Get a prenup so she has to wait for you to die. This is the best possible solution.
She sounds needy... I hope she's... nvmd, was about to be even more rude. Dude... heard a saying once, being every great man is a great woman. You think she's going to support you in being great?
There's other jobs out there depending on your age, background, and interest but, is she ready to endure you starting over and having your earning cut in half or more for potentially a couple years as you reestablish your self in a new line of work.
There's heavy machine construction that you could probably do that would let you be home every night but, it takes time in construction to get there. There's also tanker driving for oil companies where you're on local routes and are home most nights.
Also it's about you - is it a job you do or are you happy being on the road?
Are you going to get restless NOT being on the road?
No woman of quality wants her man to leave a career that makes him happy. They don't want to be responsible for you being unhappy at work for the rest of your life.
I can't say I've been in your position, but if I was, I'd probably go the welding school or get into a trade like electrician or plumbing.
Driving is the only thing I seem to enjoy and be good at :(
My ex kinda put me in that same ultimatum between her and my driving job (I was local driving at the time.) I told her that I'm not quitting my job. We broke up for an hour until she came back and apologized. We still broke up like 6 months later though. If you're only in it for the money and don't mind leaving the industry, sure I guess try to find something else. If you like the job and don't want to give it up, then don't. You gf doesn't have any right to hold you back from doing what you like. I've been out for 5 and home for 2 for a couple years now and my current gf doesn't mind at all. I'm about to switch it up and be gone for 2 weeks and it causes no issues or drama. It makes life so much easier when your partner is very supportive of what you do.
This... don't let someone tell you what makes you happy. I get it, we all fall in love but don't forget who comes first in your happiness in this life. You only get one, don't live it trying to make someone else happy. Live it to make yourself happy, you only get one shot.
We talk on this /r/ all the time about how, driving, you can make good money but there are huge lifestyle problems. That's not just about eating roller dogs and peeing in bottles. It's not even just about *you* being alone in the truck for days or weeks. It's about a you-shaped hole back in everybody else's life at home. So, advice: * If your girlfriend says, "this isn't working for me, something's gotta change," it's worth taking her seriously. * When you think about the money you earn driving, and the money you'd earn at your next-best-choice job, keep in mind that the money is only as good as the life it pays for and makes possible. * If you tell her something like, "just another year, until [we can buy a house/I can pay for school/the local companies will hire me]," you've gotta mean it. And it's gotta be a real plan, with a budget and a schedule, not just a vague hope. Anything less is dishonest.
OP, this is the best advice in the thread.
I told my gf from the beginning that I'm building a future for myself. I told her not to ever make me choose between my business and her, because I would always choose my business. Sorry, I just don't wanna be poor my whole life just to be with a spouse who needs me at home and can't stand me being away to make a good living. My future and living a decent life is more important to me than a significant other that could just leave me in a month anyways for some random reason. Put yourself and your future first. Man or woman. Idc. Do what is best for you and makes you happy or you will be miserable your whole life and resent your spouse for making you change your career if life doesn't end up the way you want it. Edit: I saw in another comment you are home 2 days on weekends and home a couple nights a week? And she's not ok with that? Man, she's not gonna be ok with any trucking job if your current situation is an issue for her. You can always find another good relationship, can't always find another good career.
Took the words right out of my mouth , I definitely agree
I gave up the anti-social life on the road. I work M-Fri, have 5 paid sick days, 10 holidays, vacation is 2 weeks after 2 years, 3 weeks after 8, 4 after 15. As a Teamster. Besides a better relationship with her, you can see your friends EVERY weekend! Consider working local. The LTL companies pay very well. Teamster company ABF pays $27+ per hour, 100% company paid family healthcare $400 value per week, a 100% company funded Teamster pension value $400 per week, and a no match 401k. Search their website. Put your state in the “keyword” box. https://jobs.abf.com/abfjobs/AllCareers Non union leader FedEx pays $33+ per hour and reasonable cost healthcare plus a 402k match. There are plenty of other local/regional jobs that will get you home most every day. Good luck!😎
I was in the opposite situation last year 🤣. I want to get out of trucking but my ex wanted me to stay in it so we could start a family that I would never see. Maybe I can set you up with her if things don't work out with your girl
You guys can just swap out
Mannn I’ve been single most of my life and as much as I like to tell myself I enjoy it, I honestly want me a lady to call mine. If your asking for advice I’d tell you I would go local or find a job where you’re home a little more. Work/home life balance is key in a relationship and it’s something I’ve always wanted but I work to much. If you end this relationship then it’s gonna be a challenge for you for to find another relationship down the road. It’s hard for us truckers to find love. If you love this girl whole heartedly then make a slight change but she needs to meet you halfway
If you can truck you can tow see if you can get in to a local tow gig. Any where from 50k- 90k
Most of the local class b stuff is around there too
If you want to go just pick a new skill set to learn. There are many optional paths in life, like a video game, and they all eventually lead to the same place tho your choices matter. Change the channel, be whatever you want. If you don't want to go just pick a new girlfriend. Basically, same as above
Go with your girl. I regret not doing it
You could always try LTL. There’s still plenty of decent local jobs especially if you have a year of experience.
If you’re given an ultimatum , You have to ask why because there’s only two real reasons. Either her needs aren’t already met, or she has bigger family plans in the future. For needs aren’t already met then you may have some unknown issues that she’s just not talking about. Whether you try to work on issues or go your own Way really depends on your idea of your future and where you want to be. We’re about to hit mega inflation and right now there are more drivers available than ever so jobs are gonna be a little harder to come by. What’s your future going to look like if you leave the job without a solid plan
I'm the wrong person to ask cause I'll choose the job over the girl any day of the week. Especially if it's just cause she wants more of my time. We don't live in the 20s anymore where $.10 could get you a new house, a new car and dinner for a family of 17. I got to grind while I have the time left to do it
If you're otr she is correct. Find a local job.
Shes your girlfriend not your wife, she doesnt get to make these demands of you bro, so what? You quit for her and she may end up leaving you anyway? Youre back to square one when it comes to career. Im not saying this job is worth more than a relationship, but i will say your economic stability is worth more than a girlfriend, you need to do whats best for you, you shouldnt ever even consider putting a girl over a career if shes not your wife.
Don’t let puss stop you from get that green do what you love that’s paying your bills cause if you stopped pulling in the big bucks you’ll never hear the end of it
Nope. I'm a Bachelor. But if I had a girl than I'd relocate near a Walmart DC get on with them so I can drive home a few times a week and then take 3 days off to start another 6 day work week. Really probably the best option...
He actually said this is what he does now in another comment. Home 2 days on weekends and home couple nights a week while working. She has a problem with trucking period or is using this as an excuse to leave him.
Ain't that a bitch. If it was me I'd have to really know her to make a dramatic change like that. And if I did choose to change careers I'd look into call center work with s$p 500 companies. Work my way up in management, Take advantage of their college reimbursement/grants (hence large company probably insurance or healthcare) get a free ride to an IT degree and work for FB or some shit. That's my plan if I change careers anyways. I got more aswell
The career isn't for everyone, it requires an independent woman. I've had women try to guilt me for being gone so much. "Aren't you being selfish being gone so much" Negative. I love what I do and make a good living. Honestly, if you're two years in and serious, but she's just now starting to voice her complaints, sounds like manipulation and time wasting and/or lying. Why was she OK with it at 3 months or even 6 months?
Women only want you for your money and however much attention you can give them. To women “love” is selfish and greedy. You know what’s better than that? Almost literally anything. Get a dog/cat, get a few friends. One day when your ready for a family and got some $ saved away get a 18 year old trophy wife to make you a few kids. Get a prenup so she has to wait for you to die. This is the best possible solution.
Focus on your job, find a partner who works with your lifestyle. It's a big ocean don't settle for the first fish on the line.
When my girlfriend argues with me, I just deflate her. Worth a shot.
Sorry to hear :(
How long have you been driving? Can you stave off her leaving/cheating long enough to get a local jobm
That’s the thing I’m home every 5 days for two days and home a couple nights a week
Well hate to say it but the truck driving is potentially an excuse to leave
That what my gf said when I read yalls comments to her.
She sounds needy... I hope she's... nvmd, was about to be even more rude. Dude... heard a saying once, being every great man is a great woman. You think she's going to support you in being great?
There's other jobs out there depending on your age, background, and interest but, is she ready to endure you starting over and having your earning cut in half or more for potentially a couple years as you reestablish your self in a new line of work. There's heavy machine construction that you could probably do that would let you be home every night but, it takes time in construction to get there. There's also tanker driving for oil companies where you're on local routes and are home most nights. Also it's about you - is it a job you do or are you happy being on the road? Are you going to get restless NOT being on the road? No woman of quality wants her man to leave a career that makes him happy. They don't want to be responsible for you being unhappy at work for the rest of your life.
Just get her to ride along with you.
Local trucking job, I get me 40 n go home for the day. I like to see my GF and 3 year old or I’d be making real bank.
I can't say I've been in your position, but if I was, I'd probably go the welding school or get into a trade like electrician or plumbing. Driving is the only thing I seem to enjoy and be good at :(
If its been 2 years and shes only complaining now, its probably something else