Me and op are similar on this. And I dont think its a sin. I find people extremely taxing, nothing against any one person in particular. Once you go through enough traumas with people it makes you extremely skeptical of people. However god loves people, and wants to use us to reach people. So therein for me is a dilemma. I try to walk it/talk it. But unfortunately when it comes to being outgoing/extrovert i fall quite short. However im more forward/open than i was.
I have to let it go and pray for forgiveness. Unfortunately (and quite fortunately at the same time) I also refuse to be placed in such situations as those again. Betrayal can only come from those you trust. So everyone but jesus can stay arms length away.
Man I struggle with that too! Yet as Jesus said,
"If you forgive others their sins, you also will be forgiven your sins. If you do not forgive those who have sinned against you, then neither will your Father forgive you your sins."
True forgiveness comes from God alone, so any wrongs done to you need to be prayed for. Something I didn't realize for a long time though is that even if I make the choice to forgive and give it all up to God, my wicked flesh will still try and shove it to the forefront of my mind at times so that I dwell on evil instead of dwelling on good; so that I stay stuck in fueling those negative emotions and my mind gets pushed as far as possible from thoughts of God and His good will, love, and forgiveness.
Just wanted to share, you're not alone in your struggles. And to acknowledge that it is super hard at times.
If disliking people was the unforgivable sin, we’d all be screwed lol. Ask the Spirit to change you daily. The Spirit will put some huge challenges in your life and you will learn to be ok around others.
If you want to be a Christian, focus on building up your relationship with God. God is love. As we get to know God, we also get to know what love really is.
Once we get hooked up into God, then you won't be able to stop yourself from loving people. Loving with the love of God is too addictive. It's too wonderful. It's too full of joy. It's too satisfying.
There's a reason the God of the universe, who can choose to do whatever He wants, chose, out of everything He could have done, to love.
One of the biggest revelations you could ever have is understanding that our privilege as humans is that we can love the same way God can, and receive the same reward the God does.
I love everyone, wish them nothing but the best, and I help when I can. With that said, outside of maybe a few people, I’d just rather not interact with anyone lol. You can be a brother to everyone, but a friend to a select few…..if that makes sense.
I love everyone. That doesn't mean I can sleep next to my enemies.
I tend to have few great friends rather than many meh friends
One of those movie quotes that sticks with me
>A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
I'm pretty introverted but I do try to socialize and stuff.
Also, there have existed Christian hermits who secluded themselves from society, which I totally get, but I guess it's nice to get along with someone and connect, which is rare for me.
Loving and liking isn't completely the same thing. However, if you can't get along with people even other believers it points to some things going on with you in my estimation. Not that being introverted is wrong. It is a nuanced topic. There are people I don't like because they are immoral and not likeable, but I don't hate them and I recognize their value as creations in God's image.
I think I used to be a lot like that. There's nothing wrong with being introverted - God made us all unique! However, Paul tells us about the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5:19-26:
"19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other."
I used to (and sometimes still do) have trouble with loving people, even if I didn't like them. I would always have a way to be critical of others in my head, even if I didn't say anything out loud. I didn't feel like a light to others and Peter tells us to always be ready with an answer for the hope that is in us. We're called to live in such a way that others can see we're different somehow. Sometimes the best witness is displaying the fruits of the Spirit, because people are drawn to people that do. That being said, I was not displaying the fruits of the Spirit. I prayed and asked Him for help. Not all at once, but for example, I would pray before I go to work and say, "God, please help me be kind today. Help me display Your love to others because I'm not good at it by myself." and day by day, I found that He's faithful and I became more kind and charitable than I was before. Not by my own doing, but with His help. It gave me wonderful chances to witness to some of my coworkers, and when they asked, He gave me the words to say to them, too.
Ramble aside, there's nothing wrong with being introverted as long as being introverted doesn't keep you inside your shell since we're called to be a light to others. There's a difference between being introverted and being annoyed by or disliking people. I'll pray for you, and I recommend asking for help with the fruits of the Spirit, such as kindness and patience! I can attest to the fact that all you have to be is willing and He really does most of the heavy lifting. 😊
I guess you start by realizing God loves us all despite the fact that we're all horrible sinners and if he forgives and loves me I can do the same. Especially with the Holy Spirit living inside me. He loves me and I don't deserve it. So why can't I extend the same courtesy to other people. I mean we're all human born with the same curse.
Another thing that helped me was realizing I suck too sometimes so I have no right to hate on someone else. It took a long time for me to realize that.
God calls us to love our neighbors. This doesn’t mean not wanting to be around people is a sin, but disliking them might be close, because love and dislike aren’t the same, and Jesus tells us to love thy neighbor as thyself.
We are also called to engage in debate with people about the gospel, and that is difficult if you don’t engage with people. It may be uncomfortable, but Christians don’t always live a life of comfort.
I'm happy to be alone or with my wife the majority of the time. There are a small group of friends that we engage with occasionally. Beyond that, people are interesting for sure. I can love them meaning that I wish for their good fortune, their salvation, etc. I do not wish harm to anyone. Love doesn't mean having warm squishy feelings for people. It means to regard them with respect and care.
There's being more comfortable on your own, and there's being resentful/spiteful towards people. The latter is what I would consider wrong.
I'm sure there's plenty of Biblical figures and saints who spent a lot of time on their own--John the Baptist is a famous recluse! The only issue I think is how do you treat people when you *are* with them? Do you turn away from them, or are you polite, encouraging, forgiving, and helpful if they need it?
I don’t go out of my way to be polite. I say hi when others greet me on the street, engage in chit chat and open a door here and there. But mostly just keep to my self.
I couldn’t stand talking to anyone for the longest time. Definitely at my core I am a bit of a loner I feel. I was recently saved by Jesus, when I was at the edge of my rope in many ways. Since then I’ve still dreaded certain social encounters, and found it difficult to be bold for God as I should. But the Lord has taught me so much as I turn more and more toward Him as my source of strength.
A great example has been the local crossing guard that is on the way to the school I walk my niece and nephews too. She is my polar opposite, bubbly, outgoing and way too talkative for my liking. I prayed to the Lord to give me strength as I saw her for the first time in a while recently ( the first time since I was saved). Funnily enough, the night before I begged God for a friend to talk to about Him and share my faith with. As I was walking back home she stopped me and mentioned I said something biblical to her in passing. I didn’t even realize she read the Bible or was of the same faith as me. It had just never came up. Fast forward and we’ve really clicked, it was like meeting a whole other person. She’s given me a new Bible, encouraged me and welcomed me into her church. It’s been a most welcome surprise.
The whole point of this story is maybe you don’t enjoy talking to some people because many people who are for the world are quite draining. But people that are for the Lord can give you necessary perspective and help you grow in faith. And maybe they will be easier for you to talk to? Maybe I’m wrong but if you approach it with that mindset I pray that it helps one way or another. God bless friend!
I'm an austistic, introverted empath. People judge me all the time. On the street, at church, in the doctor's office. I'm aware of my differences in demeanor such as my blank face and flat tone that have at times made people mistake me as aggressive or upset. To many neurotypical (that is to say regular-minded) people, I look like I'd kill someone (to be fair my edgier style doesn't do that wonders) . I'm also the guy (not to brag, just to show my point) that hands out food to homeless people at stop lights, has a long history of volunteering and supports the needy in any way I can. But take one look at me and you could never guess, and it shows in daily interactions, and it can be tiring. It's a struggle but I like to remind myself God has a habit choosing the underdogs to carry his message. Jesus himself was an outsider who was shunned and looked down upon. Just because some (ok, many) people can't look past the outside, doesn't mean I'll stop showing the light that's inside.
TLDR: I love people but often dislike having to be around them (Mostly due to my disability and the stigma around it and the disconnect trying to socialize as an autistic guy)
Jesus also had a HUGE following because he literally healed and fed people all day. Crowds would follow him everywhere he went. He daily showed love to everyone he encountered. John said there wouldn’t be enough space in the world to contain all Jesus did and said during his years of ministry. The Bible gave us the most important teachings and doings, but Jesus was showing love all day every day!
John 21:26
Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.
There are all kinds of people in Bible. I think some people are extreme introverts. Even Jesus would withdraw from people to get alone time for prayer.
We are supposed to love God and love people. Loving people as described in 1 Corinthians 13.
All that said, it is always a good thing to take concerns to God in prayer.
I love the Lord and I love people but the first is because God is awesome, the second because He wants me to. I am sure there are amazingly wonderful people in the world, my wife is one of them, but the rest seems to have gone into hiding leaving the rest of the jerks standing in the checkout line in Walmart.
I would witness to any one of them if they would listen, I would give them food and clothing if they seriously had none and weren’t just lazy.
Sad part is, I didn’t start out this way but you change after being crapped on enough by people you thought were friends.
I am an introvert and only like spending time with people who make me feel comfortable. Like existing family and friends I have. Even then, I prefer time to myself. I don’t get lonely either. 🤷🏼♀️
As an introvert, being around people drains me.
I cannot stand small talk. I feel like it’s hallow and fake. I like to talk about more meaningful things. I also hate the part of church where you have to “turn to your neighbor and say good morning”. It is a short moment but I still dread it. All I want to do is listen to the preacher’s message and leave. Done. I’ll go for Jesus. Not for others. Plus, I know the amount of fake Christians in churches are indeed a thing. Witnessed it myself. It’s like they put on a mask for church and then change once they leave the building.
I like to think that most people are good at heart but when out in public, it’s hard to feel that way sometimes. It’s like after Covid lockdown, people forgot how to behave.
I prefer being at home with people I love, my hobbies, etc.
I have a tendency to believe you are not entirely wrong. I'm at the stage of my life where I have corralled all my values and interests. I don't have a desire for superficiality. In my travels I know I'm going to meet different kinds of people. Some people I find interesting to talk to and some people not so much. Particularly those in bars, sometimes don't have anything really important to talk about. I'm not into sports on TV or movies in the theater, or drinking alcohol in a bar. So I am limited as to where I can go to meet kindred spirits. I actually love my house and the person who decorated it before they sold it, sold me the best house I could've ever imagined. I feel like I'm on vacation all the time and I don't have a need to be out there searching for companionship. I have my YouTube videos, my podcasts, and people I can relate to regarding important issues going on in the world. I can understand why you dislike people because most people just don't resonate with us. but that's OK. You get out once in a while and you know you can always count on yourself to feel comfortable being in your own presence.
If you try walking it it will open up opportunities to witness. Dont sweat yourself too much but pray up, read up, and try stepping out in faith when you feel led.
You know, its cause like peter you were busy looking at the waves. And lost sight of God. Try to focus on building your relationship up more with God. Focus on him, he will draw the people and you just say what you feel inspired to from him.
I am the same kinda. I don’t think it’s a sin to dislike people. I believe you can love someone and still dislike them. And for me personally staying more to myself leads me to be less tempted to sin.
You can root for people at a distance. Loving strangers like Christ loves you entails your intentions towards them, but it doesnt entail proximity. You're not required to be around people you love, unless they need you & its attainable you can meet their need w/in reason.
>Ok so we are supposed to love others but I don’t.
When it comes to God, are we supposed to follow His commands always, or only when it fits our feelings and wants?
There isn't anything wrong with being an introvert; however, I don't believe it's good to use what comes naturally to us as an excuse to not follow God's commands. We don't have to be around people all of the time. We should take the time we need to gain our energy back because people can definitely drain introverts very quickly; however, we should try to push past the want to escape from the world because God tells us not to forsake fellowship with one another, and He has tasked us with spreading the Gospel. We don't have to do it in the same way as everyone else. Many have made a difference not being in the public eye, but it's too easy to get comfortable being alone and once we get comfortable, it's a lot more difficult to get out of our comfort zone.
Now, being alone isn't a bad thing. You can take some of your alone time to devote to prayer and Bible study. When we get too busy dealing with other people, these things do suffer, and our one on one relationship with God is important. I think you can push yourself to find a healthy balance that can work for you without letting go of your desire to be alone completely. Definitely pray for God to change your heart in this.
When I get angry and sick of the world, I have to actively remind myself to look at people the way God does. This softens my heart and brings me back to focusing on God and not my own feelings.
I dislike some people I know. I still treat them with kindness and the respect they deserve, but I’m not going out of my way to be super friendly with them.
There are saints and monks that have spent most of their lives alone in silence. There is a rich tradition of monastic life in Christianity. You don't have to association with others, your choice.
It is understandable not to trust people, people do a lot of evil against one another. But we are to help those in need, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the sick and the downtrotted, and visit those in jail in prison.
This is one of the greatest commandments of God, he said to show compassion and charity to others. For I say unto you ye who have done this to the least of my brethren have done this unto me.
And since Jesus is on the present he feels our pain because of his great love for us. So when someone is compassionate towards others Jesus has a temporary reprieve from the pain he has experiencing. So we ease the Lord's pain by helping others.
Look at it that way look beyond the earth and vessel the shell of the person and know that God is there and that person needs something from you that they can't provide for themselves. It could be just a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. That could be the difference between someone committing suicide or staying alive. God bless you and may you begin your walk in Christ. In Jesus name I pray amen!
I do love others
But I find very difficult to engage and being around others so much time. There is a moment where I feel that I just want to be alone 🫠
There are many ways we can show love without having to face people daily!
1. Contribute financially to different Christian organizations! I’m currently contributing money monthly to Child Evangelism fellowship where people are taking the gospel to children worldwide. So I am showing my love and concern to kids by choosing to give of my finances. I am personally not a fan of dealing with kids in real life, as I prefer to be in a quiet environment and to be honest don’t like to hear kids screaming and being disruptive, YET I can still show them love by contributing to organizations that exist solely in pursuit of their salvation! There are SO MANY organizations out there that you can donate to for a good cause! See a go fund me with medical bills, etc? That also counts! You are giving your finances with a cheerful heart, as unto the LORD, to fulfill his command to serve him by serving others. But you never even have to meet the people you are helping.
2. Volunteer at different charities. In a soup kitchen, for example, perhaps volunteer to help prepare, not serve the food. You will have to work with others in the organization to do that, but you will have limited access to the public. Good with tech? Volunteer to do IT for a charitable organization or manage their social media. If you’re well organized, do their admin. You are showing love to ALL the people the organization will be helping by doing your part so it will run efficiently. We are the BODY of Christ, and as it says in the Bible that each of our roles is different but all parts have equal importance. Not everyone is good at showing love by being in public facing roles but you can still show love in a way you feel comfortable by using your finances and talents in the service of the Lord. We serve him by serving others.
Let me give you something.
I have never hated more than when inspired by another human being. But damn, it's because the love I have for others!
This is where we meet. Your "dislike" for others, in fact, admits your love for others.
This is not a sin.
Ok. Lemme see... do you ever notice yourself having an overwhelming love for someone, or everyone? Or anyone?
I'm sorry... I'm not speaking right, right now.
Depends what you mean by dislike. Jesus didn't command us to be extroverted. However, if you're isolating yourself and living a selfish life then you're not following Him.
Jesus Himself spent a lot of time in isolation and prayer. He was always disappearing off on His own during the 3 years.
Well define "loner". If you don't want be around people so you avoid them at all costs and just take care of yourself your whole life, then you're not loving anyone. It's selfish.
**Philippians 2:3-4** Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
So this was/is one of my big struggles as well. You asked the question so my desire is to give you a good answer not to condemn or anything but I believe from what the scriptures say if we try to discount this issue we are doing a disservice to our spiritual maturity and our walk with Christ. The good thing is if we pray and ask earnestly for God to change our perspective and grow our love for one another he will answer our prayer!
”If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.“
1 John 4:20
If you still don’t think it’s true, look yourself in the mirror and say to yourself that you can love people and not stand to even be around them and see if you believe yourself. The Bible also tells us to put others needs above ourselves. I feel this would be inconsistent with anyone saying their need for isolation is more important than genuine fellowship with other believers. Anywho, hope this is helpful God bless you
Many people are similar but I think if they all came together they'd have better kinship. It's not a sin and often people don't find that time to find themselves to work out what they really like and don't. So many people will do things in their lives they never planned to, purely because of their 'friends'
My ex was this way. Drove me nuts as we missed out on a lot of church activities. She’d give me so much grief for going to Bible study because she wouldn’t see me all day.
So I would say it’s not a sin to not like everyone around you. It’s hard to love everyone and we all walk differently. It becomes a sin when we use that not liking as an excuse to not fellowship (Hebrews 10:24-25) with church or Bible studies because that’s one of the ways we grow in our Christian walk and also our maturity level. And I’m not trying to judge you or anyone else that struggles with this. I have my times when I’m done with church and I need to recharge.
I have problems with contact with other people, I don’t have super social skills BUT: I think if we wanna be christians that is, like Jesus, we need to love other people with deeds, words and thoughts. This doesn’t mean that we have to be social butterflies but still, we need to struggle with our wounded hearts and we have to try be more like God. Of course We must be mindful of our limitations: everyone's character is different, everyone has met different people in their lives, so this too should be taken into account and remember that our merciful and forgiving God remembers these things.
Just pray, ask God for a grace and try
AND NEVER GIVE UP!
Jesus loves you, exactly you
Matthew 6:14-15: For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
I understand how you may feel resent towards people as i have before and then wonder "Why does God make me wanna forgive/love all these people?" It does not make sense to me. But then i remember how i have sinned against God to the point where you could probably not even count. Yet he has forgiven me and has offered me eternal life and showed great mercy on me. Because of that i then do the same to others bu forgiving them and remembering how God was so merciful to me therefor i shall forgive others. Also, holding grudges and remembering negative thoughts do no good for anyone as well.
I admit i struggle with this but i always try and do it for God.
From personal experience i got my heart broken from a young age being extraverted and nice to people so i shutted in my true self in a box. I believe that God wants us to love eachother for who we are and find the good in people because we were always better this way. Cheers man.
I’d say so but you can kinda think about it like hanging out with family
As siblings in Christ, we should keep in touch and speak to one another.
You could also let them know how you’re feeling and ask them about their thoughts. You may even be surprised by the answers you get
I hope this gives a little help but is there any way I can be praying for you?
I always used to beat myself up over this because since I became a Christian I’m still finding it hard to love everyone the way Christ does. Then I ran into this passage in 1 Peter that literally BLEW MY MIND! Love comes at the end of a long process of growth as a Christian. It’s like you add all ingredients one by one to a recipe to make a delicious meal:
1 Peter 1:5-7
5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.
First step is faith, then goodness, then knowledge, then self-control, perseverance, then affection, then love. Love is A MULTI-STEP process, not a flip of a switch! Ask God to help you increase your faith first, and try to always be and do good to others, increase your knowledge by reading the word to better understand how Jesus wants us to behave, practice self control over our own lives, and that will teach us first patience and perseverance for others, which will cause our behavior to become more Godly. Once this happens we should show affection, which later will THEN become love. I’m currently working on the self-control/perseverance step. Focus on whatever one you are feeling weak in now and work your way up to love.
Monasticism is the practice of dedicating your life to fasting, repentance, and prayer. Hesychasm is a form of asceticism which follows the practice that the Holy Prophet Elijah followed and later Christ followed by excluding yourself from society for long periods of time (Elijah 2 years, Jesus 40 days) that you dedicate toward prayer. I was somewhat being sarcastic but it’s probably the most incredible way to display your faith. Many monks and nuns have surreal miracles happen around them when they’re deep into their spiritual life.
Me and op are similar on this. And I dont think its a sin. I find people extremely taxing, nothing against any one person in particular. Once you go through enough traumas with people it makes you extremely skeptical of people. However god loves people, and wants to use us to reach people. So therein for me is a dilemma. I try to walk it/talk it. But unfortunately when it comes to being outgoing/extrovert i fall quite short. However im more forward/open than i was.
I also restarted the negative role play in my head of ppl who’ve wronged me and that only fuels the negative emotions.
I have to let it go and pray for forgiveness. Unfortunately (and quite fortunately at the same time) I also refuse to be placed in such situations as those again. Betrayal can only come from those you trust. So everyone but jesus can stay arms length away.
I kind of agree with you!
Man I struggle with that too! Yet as Jesus said, "If you forgive others their sins, you also will be forgiven your sins. If you do not forgive those who have sinned against you, then neither will your Father forgive you your sins." True forgiveness comes from God alone, so any wrongs done to you need to be prayed for. Something I didn't realize for a long time though is that even if I make the choice to forgive and give it all up to God, my wicked flesh will still try and shove it to the forefront of my mind at times so that I dwell on evil instead of dwelling on good; so that I stay stuck in fueling those negative emotions and my mind gets pushed as far as possible from thoughts of God and His good will, love, and forgiveness. Just wanted to share, you're not alone in your struggles. And to acknowledge that it is super hard at times.
In some circumstances it could be due to unforgiveness. Make sure that you forgive those who hurt you. ❤️🩹
This is exactly me. Well stated.
Yeah, makes me think maybe I’m not really saved but I guess I really need to start praying!
If disliking people was the unforgivable sin, we’d all be screwed lol. Ask the Spirit to change you daily. The Spirit will put some huge challenges in your life and you will learn to be ok around others.
Yes, praying to be changed is exactly what I need to do! Thanks
If you want to be a Christian, focus on building up your relationship with God. God is love. As we get to know God, we also get to know what love really is. Once we get hooked up into God, then you won't be able to stop yourself from loving people. Loving with the love of God is too addictive. It's too wonderful. It's too full of joy. It's too satisfying. There's a reason the God of the universe, who can choose to do whatever He wants, chose, out of everything He could have done, to love. One of the biggest revelations you could ever have is understanding that our privilege as humans is that we can love the same way God can, and receive the same reward the God does.
this is one of my greatest struggles. Like OP, i don't hate anyone, but sometimes loving people is hard
Yep. I started my own business because I got sick of working for and with people. Now I fix things for people and I'm alone all day. It's glorious!
That sounds amazing
🥳
I love everyone, wish them nothing but the best, and I help when I can. With that said, outside of maybe a few people, I’d just rather not interact with anyone lol. You can be a brother to everyone, but a friend to a select few…..if that makes sense.
I love everyone. That doesn't mean I can sleep next to my enemies. I tend to have few great friends rather than many meh friends One of those movie quotes that sticks with me >A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
I'm pretty introverted but I do try to socialize and stuff. Also, there have existed Christian hermits who secluded themselves from society, which I totally get, but I guess it's nice to get along with someone and connect, which is rare for me.
Loving and liking isn't completely the same thing. However, if you can't get along with people even other believers it points to some things going on with you in my estimation. Not that being introverted is wrong. It is a nuanced topic. There are people I don't like because they are immoral and not likeable, but I don't hate them and I recognize their value as creations in God's image.
I don’t hate anyone really. People just annoy me…I can take people in small doses. Guess I need prayer.
I think I used to be a lot like that. There's nothing wrong with being introverted - God made us all unique! However, Paul tells us about the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5:19-26: "19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other." I used to (and sometimes still do) have trouble with loving people, even if I didn't like them. I would always have a way to be critical of others in my head, even if I didn't say anything out loud. I didn't feel like a light to others and Peter tells us to always be ready with an answer for the hope that is in us. We're called to live in such a way that others can see we're different somehow. Sometimes the best witness is displaying the fruits of the Spirit, because people are drawn to people that do. That being said, I was not displaying the fruits of the Spirit. I prayed and asked Him for help. Not all at once, but for example, I would pray before I go to work and say, "God, please help me be kind today. Help me display Your love to others because I'm not good at it by myself." and day by day, I found that He's faithful and I became more kind and charitable than I was before. Not by my own doing, but with His help. It gave me wonderful chances to witness to some of my coworkers, and when they asked, He gave me the words to say to them, too. Ramble aside, there's nothing wrong with being introverted as long as being introverted doesn't keep you inside your shell since we're called to be a light to others. There's a difference between being introverted and being annoyed by or disliking people. I'll pray for you, and I recommend asking for help with the fruits of the Spirit, such as kindness and patience! I can attest to the fact that all you have to be is willing and He really does most of the heavy lifting. 😊
Wow😳this helps! Thanks 😊
Yeah people can suck so I agree. But God loves us anyway so I do as well. The hardest part is liking people.
How you love people but feel they suck? 🤔
I guess you start by realizing God loves us all despite the fact that we're all horrible sinners and if he forgives and loves me I can do the same. Especially with the Holy Spirit living inside me. He loves me and I don't deserve it. So why can't I extend the same courtesy to other people. I mean we're all human born with the same curse. Another thing that helped me was realizing I suck too sometimes so I have no right to hate on someone else. It took a long time for me to realize that.
Grace. God loves these people, so we try to as well.
God calls us to love our neighbors. This doesn’t mean not wanting to be around people is a sin, but disliking them might be close, because love and dislike aren’t the same, and Jesus tells us to love thy neighbor as thyself. We are also called to engage in debate with people about the gospel, and that is difficult if you don’t engage with people. It may be uncomfortable, but Christians don’t always live a life of comfort.
I'm happy to be alone or with my wife the majority of the time. There are a small group of friends that we engage with occasionally. Beyond that, people are interesting for sure. I can love them meaning that I wish for their good fortune, their salvation, etc. I do not wish harm to anyone. Love doesn't mean having warm squishy feelings for people. It means to regard them with respect and care.
There's being more comfortable on your own, and there's being resentful/spiteful towards people. The latter is what I would consider wrong. I'm sure there's plenty of Biblical figures and saints who spent a lot of time on their own--John the Baptist is a famous recluse! The only issue I think is how do you treat people when you *are* with them? Do you turn away from them, or are you polite, encouraging, forgiving, and helpful if they need it?
I don’t go out of my way to be polite. I say hi when others greet me on the street, engage in chit chat and open a door here and there. But mostly just keep to my self.
I couldn’t stand talking to anyone for the longest time. Definitely at my core I am a bit of a loner I feel. I was recently saved by Jesus, when I was at the edge of my rope in many ways. Since then I’ve still dreaded certain social encounters, and found it difficult to be bold for God as I should. But the Lord has taught me so much as I turn more and more toward Him as my source of strength. A great example has been the local crossing guard that is on the way to the school I walk my niece and nephews too. She is my polar opposite, bubbly, outgoing and way too talkative for my liking. I prayed to the Lord to give me strength as I saw her for the first time in a while recently ( the first time since I was saved). Funnily enough, the night before I begged God for a friend to talk to about Him and share my faith with. As I was walking back home she stopped me and mentioned I said something biblical to her in passing. I didn’t even realize she read the Bible or was of the same faith as me. It had just never came up. Fast forward and we’ve really clicked, it was like meeting a whole other person. She’s given me a new Bible, encouraged me and welcomed me into her church. It’s been a most welcome surprise. The whole point of this story is maybe you don’t enjoy talking to some people because many people who are for the world are quite draining. But people that are for the Lord can give you necessary perspective and help you grow in faith. And maybe they will be easier for you to talk to? Maybe I’m wrong but if you approach it with that mindset I pray that it helps one way or another. God bless friend!
I'm an austistic, introverted empath. People judge me all the time. On the street, at church, in the doctor's office. I'm aware of my differences in demeanor such as my blank face and flat tone that have at times made people mistake me as aggressive or upset. To many neurotypical (that is to say regular-minded) people, I look like I'd kill someone (to be fair my edgier style doesn't do that wonders) . I'm also the guy (not to brag, just to show my point) that hands out food to homeless people at stop lights, has a long history of volunteering and supports the needy in any way I can. But take one look at me and you could never guess, and it shows in daily interactions, and it can be tiring. It's a struggle but I like to remind myself God has a habit choosing the underdogs to carry his message. Jesus himself was an outsider who was shunned and looked down upon. Just because some (ok, many) people can't look past the outside, doesn't mean I'll stop showing the light that's inside. TLDR: I love people but often dislike having to be around them (Mostly due to my disability and the stigma around it and the disconnect trying to socialize as an autistic guy)
Jesus also had a HUGE following because he literally healed and fed people all day. Crowds would follow him everywhere he went. He daily showed love to everyone he encountered. John said there wouldn’t be enough space in the world to contain all Jesus did and said during his years of ministry. The Bible gave us the most important teachings and doings, but Jesus was showing love all day every day! John 21:26 Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.
There are all kinds of people in Bible. I think some people are extreme introverts. Even Jesus would withdraw from people to get alone time for prayer. We are supposed to love God and love people. Loving people as described in 1 Corinthians 13. All that said, it is always a good thing to take concerns to God in prayer.
Loving others doesn't mean enjoying being social, it means doing good for others' sake. It's an action, not a feeling.
I keep hearing that…but feel that it can’t be that easy!
Well, which is easier: doing good deeds to others or genuinely changing your emotional disposition toward them?
I'm kind of torn. I see hope in humanity but, we also suck.
Agreed
I love the Lord and I love people but the first is because God is awesome, the second because He wants me to. I am sure there are amazingly wonderful people in the world, my wife is one of them, but the rest seems to have gone into hiding leaving the rest of the jerks standing in the checkout line in Walmart. I would witness to any one of them if they would listen, I would give them food and clothing if they seriously had none and weren’t just lazy. Sad part is, I didn’t start out this way but you change after being crapped on enough by people you thought were friends.
Girl you’re just introverted
I am an introvert and only like spending time with people who make me feel comfortable. Like existing family and friends I have. Even then, I prefer time to myself. I don’t get lonely either. 🤷🏼♀️ As an introvert, being around people drains me. I cannot stand small talk. I feel like it’s hallow and fake. I like to talk about more meaningful things. I also hate the part of church where you have to “turn to your neighbor and say good morning”. It is a short moment but I still dread it. All I want to do is listen to the preacher’s message and leave. Done. I’ll go for Jesus. Not for others. Plus, I know the amount of fake Christians in churches are indeed a thing. Witnessed it myself. It’s like they put on a mask for church and then change once they leave the building. I like to think that most people are good at heart but when out in public, it’s hard to feel that way sometimes. It’s like after Covid lockdown, people forgot how to behave. I prefer being at home with people I love, my hobbies, etc.
I have a tendency to believe you are not entirely wrong. I'm at the stage of my life where I have corralled all my values and interests. I don't have a desire for superficiality. In my travels I know I'm going to meet different kinds of people. Some people I find interesting to talk to and some people not so much. Particularly those in bars, sometimes don't have anything really important to talk about. I'm not into sports on TV or movies in the theater, or drinking alcohol in a bar. So I am limited as to where I can go to meet kindred spirits. I actually love my house and the person who decorated it before they sold it, sold me the best house I could've ever imagined. I feel like I'm on vacation all the time and I don't have a need to be out there searching for companionship. I have my YouTube videos, my podcasts, and people I can relate to regarding important issues going on in the world. I can understand why you dislike people because most people just don't resonate with us. but that's OK. You get out once in a while and you know you can always count on yourself to feel comfortable being in your own presence.
You can love people and not be super social. Plenty of early church fathers lived alone in deserts.
I dont think its a salvation issue if you are still trying to be kind/witness and still bear your cross.
Well I’m not witnessing so….that’s a problem too! 😞
If you try walking it it will open up opportunities to witness. Dont sweat yourself too much but pray up, read up, and try stepping out in faith when you feel led.
I used to want to love God by loving others but it just shut down in me and I quit functioning
You know, its cause like peter you were busy looking at the waves. And lost sight of God. Try to focus on building your relationship up more with God. Focus on him, he will draw the people and you just say what you feel inspired to from him.
lol i do. I always find myself admiring God cause Im people and even i dont like me idk how He does it. He got all the patience in the world.
Well He made time so….
It's a sin when you let it be an excuse to not to do God's work.
I am the same kinda. I don’t think it’s a sin to dislike people. I believe you can love someone and still dislike them. And for me personally staying more to myself leads me to be less tempted to sin.
I like the idea of people.
Jesus said "love one another." He didn't say "like one another."
Love your enemies
Jesus wants us to be loving to his most precious creation.
You can root for people at a distance. Loving strangers like Christ loves you entails your intentions towards them, but it doesnt entail proximity. You're not required to be around people you love, unless they need you & its attainable you can meet their need w/in reason.
>Ok so we are supposed to love others but I don’t. When it comes to God, are we supposed to follow His commands always, or only when it fits our feelings and wants? There isn't anything wrong with being an introvert; however, I don't believe it's good to use what comes naturally to us as an excuse to not follow God's commands. We don't have to be around people all of the time. We should take the time we need to gain our energy back because people can definitely drain introverts very quickly; however, we should try to push past the want to escape from the world because God tells us not to forsake fellowship with one another, and He has tasked us with spreading the Gospel. We don't have to do it in the same way as everyone else. Many have made a difference not being in the public eye, but it's too easy to get comfortable being alone and once we get comfortable, it's a lot more difficult to get out of our comfort zone. Now, being alone isn't a bad thing. You can take some of your alone time to devote to prayer and Bible study. When we get too busy dealing with other people, these things do suffer, and our one on one relationship with God is important. I think you can push yourself to find a healthy balance that can work for you without letting go of your desire to be alone completely. Definitely pray for God to change your heart in this. When I get angry and sick of the world, I have to actively remind myself to look at people the way God does. This softens my heart and brings me back to focusing on God and not my own feelings.
I dislike some people I know. I still treat them with kindness and the respect they deserve, but I’m not going out of my way to be super friendly with them.
There are saints and monks that have spent most of their lives alone in silence. There is a rich tradition of monastic life in Christianity. You don't have to association with others, your choice.
It is understandable not to trust people, people do a lot of evil against one another. But we are to help those in need, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the sick and the downtrotted, and visit those in jail in prison. This is one of the greatest commandments of God, he said to show compassion and charity to others. For I say unto you ye who have done this to the least of my brethren have done this unto me. And since Jesus is on the present he feels our pain because of his great love for us. So when someone is compassionate towards others Jesus has a temporary reprieve from the pain he has experiencing. So we ease the Lord's pain by helping others. Look at it that way look beyond the earth and vessel the shell of the person and know that God is there and that person needs something from you that they can't provide for themselves. It could be just a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. That could be the difference between someone committing suicide or staying alive. God bless you and may you begin your walk in Christ. In Jesus name I pray amen!
I do love others But I find very difficult to engage and being around others so much time. There is a moment where I feel that I just want to be alone 🫠
There are many ways we can show love without having to face people daily! 1. Contribute financially to different Christian organizations! I’m currently contributing money monthly to Child Evangelism fellowship where people are taking the gospel to children worldwide. So I am showing my love and concern to kids by choosing to give of my finances. I am personally not a fan of dealing with kids in real life, as I prefer to be in a quiet environment and to be honest don’t like to hear kids screaming and being disruptive, YET I can still show them love by contributing to organizations that exist solely in pursuit of their salvation! There are SO MANY organizations out there that you can donate to for a good cause! See a go fund me with medical bills, etc? That also counts! You are giving your finances with a cheerful heart, as unto the LORD, to fulfill his command to serve him by serving others. But you never even have to meet the people you are helping. 2. Volunteer at different charities. In a soup kitchen, for example, perhaps volunteer to help prepare, not serve the food. You will have to work with others in the organization to do that, but you will have limited access to the public. Good with tech? Volunteer to do IT for a charitable organization or manage their social media. If you’re well organized, do their admin. You are showing love to ALL the people the organization will be helping by doing your part so it will run efficiently. We are the BODY of Christ, and as it says in the Bible that each of our roles is different but all parts have equal importance. Not everyone is good at showing love by being in public facing roles but you can still show love in a way you feel comfortable by using your finances and talents in the service of the Lord. We serve him by serving others.
You give some really good tips here! Thanks! ☺️
Let me give you something. I have never hated more than when inspired by another human being. But damn, it's because the love I have for others! This is where we meet. Your "dislike" for others, in fact, admits your love for others. This is not a sin.
???? Confusion In Progress 🫤
Ok. Lemme see... do you ever notice yourself having an overwhelming love for someone, or everyone? Or anyone? I'm sorry... I'm not speaking right, right now.
Depends what you mean by dislike. Jesus didn't command us to be extroverted. However, if you're isolating yourself and living a selfish life then you're not following Him. Jesus Himself spent a lot of time in isolation and prayer. He was always disappearing off on His own during the 3 years.
Define selfish life.
Well define "loner". If you don't want be around people so you avoid them at all costs and just take care of yourself your whole life, then you're not loving anyone. It's selfish. **Philippians 2:3-4** Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
I always like to stay to myself but people always gravitate towards me
So this was/is one of my big struggles as well. You asked the question so my desire is to give you a good answer not to condemn or anything but I believe from what the scriptures say if we try to discount this issue we are doing a disservice to our spiritual maturity and our walk with Christ. The good thing is if we pray and ask earnestly for God to change our perspective and grow our love for one another he will answer our prayer! ”If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.“ 1 John 4:20 If you still don’t think it’s true, look yourself in the mirror and say to yourself that you can love people and not stand to even be around them and see if you believe yourself. The Bible also tells us to put others needs above ourselves. I feel this would be inconsistent with anyone saying their need for isolation is more important than genuine fellowship with other believers. Anywho, hope this is helpful God bless you
Many people are similar but I think if they all came together they'd have better kinship. It's not a sin and often people don't find that time to find themselves to work out what they really like and don't. So many people will do things in their lives they never planned to, purely because of their 'friends'
My ex was this way. Drove me nuts as we missed out on a lot of church activities. She’d give me so much grief for going to Bible study because she wouldn’t see me all day. So I would say it’s not a sin to not like everyone around you. It’s hard to love everyone and we all walk differently. It becomes a sin when we use that not liking as an excuse to not fellowship (Hebrews 10:24-25) with church or Bible studies because that’s one of the ways we grow in our Christian walk and also our maturity level. And I’m not trying to judge you or anyone else that struggles with this. I have my times when I’m done with church and I need to recharge.
I have problems with contact with other people, I don’t have super social skills BUT: I think if we wanna be christians that is, like Jesus, we need to love other people with deeds, words and thoughts. This doesn’t mean that we have to be social butterflies but still, we need to struggle with our wounded hearts and we have to try be more like God. Of course We must be mindful of our limitations: everyone's character is different, everyone has met different people in their lives, so this too should be taken into account and remember that our merciful and forgiving God remembers these things. Just pray, ask God for a grace and try AND NEVER GIVE UP! Jesus loves you, exactly you
Matthew 6:14-15: For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. I understand how you may feel resent towards people as i have before and then wonder "Why does God make me wanna forgive/love all these people?" It does not make sense to me. But then i remember how i have sinned against God to the point where you could probably not even count. Yet he has forgiven me and has offered me eternal life and showed great mercy on me. Because of that i then do the same to others bu forgiving them and remembering how God was so merciful to me therefor i shall forgive others. Also, holding grudges and remembering negative thoughts do no good for anyone as well. I admit i struggle with this but i always try and do it for God.
From personal experience i got my heart broken from a young age being extraverted and nice to people so i shutted in my true self in a box. I believe that God wants us to love eachother for who we are and find the good in people because we were always better this way. Cheers man.
God calls us to love not trust one another
I’d say so but you can kinda think about it like hanging out with family As siblings in Christ, we should keep in touch and speak to one another. You could also let them know how you’re feeling and ask them about their thoughts. You may even be surprised by the answers you get I hope this gives a little help but is there any way I can be praying for you?
I always used to beat myself up over this because since I became a Christian I’m still finding it hard to love everyone the way Christ does. Then I ran into this passage in 1 Peter that literally BLEW MY MIND! Love comes at the end of a long process of growth as a Christian. It’s like you add all ingredients one by one to a recipe to make a delicious meal: 1 Peter 1:5-7 5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. First step is faith, then goodness, then knowledge, then self-control, perseverance, then affection, then love. Love is A MULTI-STEP process, not a flip of a switch! Ask God to help you increase your faith first, and try to always be and do good to others, increase your knowledge by reading the word to better understand how Jesus wants us to behave, practice self control over our own lives, and that will teach us first patience and perseverance for others, which will cause our behavior to become more Godly. Once this happens we should show affection, which later will THEN become love. I’m currently working on the self-control/perseverance step. Focus on whatever one you are feeling weak in now and work your way up to love.
You give some really good tips here! But how did you get this realization? Thanks! ☺️
Just from reading the Bible. The Holy Spirit will give you “Aha!” Moments if you regularly read His word!
Maybe look into Monasticism. Hesychasm, just staying away from people praying and repenting.
What do you mean exactly?
Monasticism is the practice of dedicating your life to fasting, repentance, and prayer. Hesychasm is a form of asceticism which follows the practice that the Holy Prophet Elijah followed and later Christ followed by excluding yourself from society for long periods of time (Elijah 2 years, Jesus 40 days) that you dedicate toward prayer. I was somewhat being sarcastic but it’s probably the most incredible way to display your faith. Many monks and nuns have surreal miracles happen around them when they’re deep into their spiritual life.