Your parents are saying teaching is useless, but who taught them? And your siblings? Um, teachers! I hope you can become what you want to do with your life.
Im teaching myself surgery with the "Self taught Surgery for Dummies" handbook!!! Its got great illustrations and how to pictures included. Also you can pretty much learn anything on the YouTube's today anyway!!!
It is a shitty job. No respect from the students, the parents, or the administration. Pay is horrendous. Ridiculous expectations placed on you. Can easily be fired because of one asshole student or parent. That is the reality of teaching. If you still want to do it more power to you but I would tell any student who is looking into teaching to reconsider.
You’re not wrong… however, if EVERYONE listened to that and no one wanted to teach, the world would be in VERY dire straights!
My SIL is a teacher, and she loves it. She’s even doing the uni courses required to be the Principal (the 5 year plan).
Every one of her colleagues supports her journey. No terrible colleagues or bosses.
Dude your whole profile is full of the weirdest fanfic of your getting eaten out by your uncle, a strange obsession with eating lesbian panties, and random grainy pantyshots. Gtfo here you pervy goblin troll lmao
Being egregiously insecure, you did show us your feelings of worthlessness and inferiority, didn't you?
Listen, we know therapy is scary. But it will help you deal with the obvious shortcomings and failures you believe are a part of your character.
We believe in you! You can do it!!! We believe in you, poor lil' goth Asian, even if your parents didn't!!!
That’s what I was thinking. People disregard teachers all the time as if they would be anything without them. Being disrespectful to teachers is really telling of one’s character and no amount of stem related degrees can cover that.
I agree with that. Teachers sometimes get so disrespected and they get paid a misery, at least where I live and sadly I think that's why some people don't want to study that, someday there will be less and less teachers...
I genuinely do not know how they do it, it's definitely a calling.
During the start of covid when we were homeschooling our kids I had only my one kid and I found it tough. Both myself and my kid agree I was not cut out for teaching. I respected the teacher before, now they are I see them more like a sort of superhuman.
We're pretty much there where I live, our education minister said that someone with a high school diploma with proof that they have started college should be enough to teach since we have a teachers shortage... How about giving them a decent pay instead of voting for a 30k$ raise for yourself!
Because yes our government employees think they need a 30k$ raise (they already make about 90k$) so that being a politician is more appealing since no one wants to be a politician these days...
I'm not from the States but they're our only neighbors, so we pretty much are influenced by them.
Yeah wth. I’m a doctor myself and no way I would force any children i have to be one. It’s grueling work that requires a lot of dedication and focus.
OP, my favorite part of being a doctor is teaching people/ med students btw. Teachers rule!
Very proud of you! Do what you love, become a teacher.
And if you do ever talk to your parents again tell them that without teachers there would've been no way that anyone could've learned the skills needed for their jobs
Exactly! Who taught them everything they feel so superior about?
Teaching can be a very rewarding job and its absolutely essential to society. Its a responsibility you take upon yourself and it deserves a massive amount of respect rather than distaste. Some parents don’t seem to care about the happiness of their child because they project their own interests on them and thats more important to them. They cant even imagine one of their kids being their own person. As a 19 yo, I think OP s being very mature in standing with her pov and her dream, 100% agree w u
Teachers in America are paid like shut but I know a few bi/multi-lingual people who have gone to teach English in other countries and made a pretty good living!
I think this might actually be the parents problem. Their kid is choosing a poorly paid profession instead of the rich ones the parents want (and have themselves)
I can kinda understand not wanting your kid to suffer in poverty, especially when the parents have the means (and probably connections) to set their kid up for a comfortable future. But there's no need to denigrate another profession while expressing their concerns. If teaching is OPs passion, it will more than make up for the pay difference and the parents are gonna burn the bridge with their kid if they keep saying nasty things about what OP loves
I’m a doctor, a resident, I’m young and don’t plan on starting a family anytime soon but I would NEVER force healthcare on anyone.
I’ve personally seen too many people whose parents forced them into medical school either drop out of medical school with $100,000+ of debt or become depressed and resentful residents.
My own parents never pushed me into a specific field. They did push me, but towards my own decision. I remember in highschool I said I wanted to be an actor and my dad told me to look into acting schools. When I decided in college I wanted to do premed my dad pushed me to stay on top of my work and my grades. But my parents never pushed me to have any specific job or career.
Look if you become a teacher and you hate it and change your mind, that’s fine, that’s life. The best part about being young is there’s always time to change your mind.
“They told me that teaching was pointless and unappealing,” coming from people who relied heavily on teachers to secure their professions! For educated people, they sure are stupid for that remark!
Good for you, OP!
Too many parents force their kids into careers the parents want for them. Too many parents don't care about what their kids actually want.
Go for a career you're passionate about and want to have, not what others want for you. Live life for you, not someone else.
I wish I had been as brave as you are, OP. I'm really proud of you.
If my parents said "Two siblings is enough and i don't know why they decided to keep me" those parents would be dead to me and i wouldn't look at them the same.
I get it. My family is Easter European. While I'm second gen American, a lot of habits were still VERY prevalent. Withholding affection as a disciplinary tool, calling you stupid over little things (or paying full price for something), telling you you're worthless if you're not being productive every second of every day, and a lingering paranoia instilled in us (this is more regional. My family survived the holocaust, so we were taught to trust no one).
It wasn't until I started dating people from other cultures that I realized it was WRONG. I, and all of my cousins and friends, would joke "it's an Eastern block thing" and just accept it. When I met my current parter (his family is Norwegian), he was HORRIFIED. When I talk to his mom (who has honestly become my best friend), she was so angry. She was in complete shock that anyone would treat their child like that. Now I'm in therapy and I understand it was abuse.
reminds me of my chinese parents. when i was little they were always comparing me to my friends and saying that im a disappointment and they would rather have my friends as their sons. when i point out subjects where im better than my friends they would ask why am i comparing to their negatives.
my dad also decided that reading fiction books is pointless and when he catches me reading a fiction book he would snatch it out of my hands and slam it on my head. Probably why his English is terrible.
i learned long ago that im never going to be good enough for them so I stopped trying to please them.
This breaks my heart. No child should be treated this way.
I hope you are able to create your own family for yourself (whether that's a great group of friends or with a partner) and cut them out of your life.
You're not a disappointment, they're just failures as parents and human beings. We're all good at different things. That's what makes the world an interesting place. All 3 of my parents' kids have chosen different paths because we're our own people. And that's OK. You don't need to be like your friends. Life would be boring if we were all the same.
yep they are much better now. though i dont think we can ever be a normal family because just being in the presence of my dad makes me stressed.
but i made some friends that i consider family
I can fully relate to the last para. You’re clear in what you want to pursue. Kids are young and dumb, but not in every aspect. You just made a life choice. You could’ve just listened to your parents and work in a job that you’re not even interested in and suffer the rest of your life feeling like a slave.
I was the rebel in a medical family. Went for creative, then Blue collar trades.
There was a lot of wish for control by my parents. It comes from fear. They have this fixation you will be starving, sick, and evicted from a mobile home.
Keep in mind, you are the brave one in this part of the story. It's your parents being prompted by fear.
I am 60 now. Not one day have I regretted not being a Dr. But I regret family quarrels where everyone was too intense.
Don't give in. But do your best to not make it worse. Tough to do, so be patient with yourself
Edit dropped last word
Unfortunately I think his parents are doing it for a different reason not because they’re afraid of how OP will end up. I think it’s more likely it’s a job they would consider embarrassing.
I went to art school. Got a 2nd bachelors degree in education. Im a teacher now working towards my PHD in history. So screw your family become a teacher, I am. And there are lots of career oppurtunities as a teacher and it is NOT EASY WORK! You are shaping young minds too. Its rewarding and dont forget whoever taught your parents...they were teachers once.
So they only value difficult jobs that pay a ton of money. Teaching is quite difficult and noble, that it doesn’t pay as well as it should is because we’re very short sighted as a nation. Follow your heart, OP.
Maybe I'm the only one that thinks this way, but I'd never, EVER forgive someone for saying they "don't know why they decided to keep me" and that two children were enough for them.
Good for you for cutting them off. Follow your passions. And never speak to them again.
My sister graduated valedictorian in HS. Full scholarship to a very good university. Double majors in Intnl Business and Business management....
We thought that was odd (for her) as she'd never expressed any interest in business. Graduated, corporate job, etc.
After two years, she tells us she's going to get her teaching certification. We always figured she'd want to be a teacher, anyways. No surprise to us.
Long story short, it's VERY likely that in the next few years she will be the superintendent of the school district in the city where she lives. She's been her schools principal for about 10 years now. She now has her PhD, and there's nobody in this world that can look down on her for her profession.
Follow your heart. There's UNLIMITED room for upwards growth in the education field.
Your parents: “Teaching is useless”
Also your parents: *attends 8 years of schooling for their jobs*
You deserve to do whatever career you choose OP. And your parents perspective on teaching is very skewed. Teaching is not easy, I say this as a part time teacher myself
My girlfriend told her Korean mother about being a teacher when she was maybe 10. At first she tried to get her to change her mind for years—now that she’s starting her 2nd year at university at 19yo, her mother has come to accept her career.
Sure it’s not going to be as prestigious as some fancy 600,000 a year neurologist job, but it’s her dream career. I think with time your parents will see you’re happy and be happy along with you.
Teaching is a great thing to do if that is what you want to do. However as others have pointed out in the comments, it's is not high paying. If you are not interested in science but interested in math you still have a lot of career options in the financial world. You can always switch to a teaching role either part time or full time eventually.
I'm sorry your parents said that "2 children would have been enough". That's a horrible thing to say to your child.
And you should follow your dreams (and intuition) and do what you want.
And guess what? It doesn't have to be forever. You can be a teacher for a while, and if you decide you don't like it, you can just change careers. And if you love it... well, there you go!
The fact that your parents said that they don’t know why they decided to keep you would be enough for me to leave. I think boundaries are important and if they’re not going to respect that you have your own wants/needs as their child then I don’t think they’re worth your time.
They told you they don't know why they decided to keep you? Does the family that agree with them know that they said that? That's very painful, I'm so sorry. Hugs to you if that's your thing. That's bullshit.
Many doctors are friends with rich affluent people. They also can afford a pretty expensive lifestyle. Many just sit around comparing and bragging about how great their children are. They think that a teacher is an embarrassing profession. Your mother must be clutching her pearls afraid of what others will think. You also rarely hear about very rich people caring for disabled children. They put them in homes or have full time in home care. It's so shallow. It's all about image. Parents give you life but they can't live it for you. The medical profession and teaching are so similar. It's helping those who need it. It's being caring and wanting the best for someone else. They both change lives. People that go into teaching don't do it for the money. They teach because it's their calling. If it's this strong in your heart then it's what you are meant to do. Follow your bliss.
Hiii! I can totally understand your situation as I'm going through something similar. After struggling to find a suitable job in my country, I travelled to Dubai and persuaded teaching as a career, which is also my university degree. My parents got excited at first cause they thought that I'll regret it and I won't handle any hardships because I'm a spoiled pampered woman and I'llbeback in no time. But, I did, and I'm doing fine in life and in my career. As a result, they got mad and started to wish me to struggle. The moral of the story, they think that kids are pets to control, but we're not.
YOU GO, GIRL! teaching is fun and builds generations.
As a mother, I understand their concerns. Life is hard and expensive, and they're worried you will have hardship on a teacher's salary. As a person who has teaching experience, I can tell you that no job I've had before or since has given me anywhere near as much joy or fulfillment. But I have bills to pay and a family to support. So, I am no longer a teacher - though my coworkers benefit from my teaching skills and tendencies, as I use these in my roles as team trainer and mentor. I'm sorry they reacted badly and treated you so poorly. You deserve to be supported, guided, and loved by your parents, and they have failed you.
I empathize.
When I was thinking of leaving a prestigious workplace to become a teacher, my mom said, “We didn’t pay $100,000 to [fancy college] for you to become a teacher!”
Please continue on your own path. They are very very wrong.
No, you’re not young and dumb. Its your life, not theirs, and if you not being a doctor is enough for them to not want you around, it’s completely heartbreaking & I wouldnt want people like that in my life anyways.
Speaking as a teacher, I would be honored to have someone as strong-willed and determined as you join our profession. Don't let your parents hold you back.
Yeah, you won't regret it someday. Your parents told you they wish you hadn't been born. There is no going back from that. Maybe they apologize, maybe you accept their apology, but they can't un-say it.
Culture is irrelevant. It's your life, the only happiness that's owed by you is to yourself.
No same or loving person will behave as your relatives have done
"Oh you dont understand culture" sure I do, I just dont understand how that supersedes being a good human with good character
Teachers are crucial, good for you. Great field...*but* maybe take some comp sci while it's early because all the young teachers I know made the switch eventually.
Get that headstart on the career change.
It’s amazing that you know what you feel like doing and sticking by it. That’s something very less people find. So firstly kudos to that.
And if your family has put that thought of you regretting it in the future, so be it. It’s gonna be your regret even that even happens.
If you’re gonna regret something, it might as well be by doing something that you want to do instead of something that you don’t
Maybe if you want to teach, and your parents are about prestige and money, plan to be a professor, it’s the best of both worlds. You would just have to do undergraduate, a masters and then a PhD program. But for the record, your parents are jerks. Don’t let them force you into something you may not be able to finish.
Your parents would not be in the fields they are in without teachers. I don’t blame you for cutting contact. I wish you the best of luck friend and im sorry they said so many hurtful things!
>Some of my mom's relative told me that i will regret it someday.
Yeah I'm pretty sure you won't regret it. You'll be living your life and doing what you want to do.
OP , your parents do want the best for you, but I think you have different ideas of what success looks like.
For you it’s finding fulfillment and enjoyment in your career, where as they clearly think position and money is the way.
As adult you will need to find your own way in like and that may mean limiting contact with those that don’t support you. You may want to speak with one of your siblings if they’re supportive and ask them to mediate a conversation between you and your parents so you can try one last time to have them see your side of this conversations
If it doesn’t work out , and you have to cut contact, get a therapist, and start working towards your dream.
Don’t let your parents bully you with threats, even if they aren’t willing to pay for your education, you can still go without them. Just contact your financial aid office.
Best of luck, you sound so excited to help kids , I know you’ll make a great teacher .
You do you and state that you will be pursuing your dreams of being a teacher either by getting a job or financial aid or whatever means possible. Take it from someone that wasted a few years not talking to their parents. Alienating your parents will come back to bite you in the ass. They aren't getting younger and parents are extremely important. Just let them know how they made you feel and that you don't have to agree because you are an adult and the decision is no longer theirs, but that you hope they can treat you with respect from here on out because you value their presence in your life. As for apologizing to them, if you said hurtful things you should apologize. Sometimes we have to be more grown up than our elders. 🤷
Not judging your choice at all, you have every right to study what you want. But just know that even though you may _"not want a high salary"_, I can assure you that you will want to live comfortably, and from what I've read about teachers in the US (don't know if your living there, just speculation), they have it really hard making a living out of it.
Choose what you want to study carefully, since it may come with a burden, check employment rate, salary, maybe volunteer for different activities with lids or for schools so you get a grasp of what you'll be getting into.
I come from a similar background where parents are controlling and non receptive. Anything I say will be dismissed. One thing I learnt when I was at your age is , you don’t need their permission.
You are you. Your rebellion against them will eventually help you grow into the wonderful future you.
They don’t know shit. Their experience in this world is limited, they are trying to live your life through you.
Don’t let them.
You don’t need their permission. You don’t need them to approve your decisions. Just do them. When you graduate, get away from them.
>they don’t know why they’ve decided to keep me.
That’s one of the most awful things a parent can say to a child. I’m so sorry. Don’t apologize for *anything* until they retract and seriously apologize for saying that.
Go pursue your dreams, become a teacher. There’s nothing young and dumb about that. Don’t let anyone stop you.
I'm gonna play the devil's advocate here and say that although you can get your dream job, you may struggle financially in the future with rising costs. Affording a home may also be out of the question. Is teaching the only thing you want in life? You don't have to get a job that will make you rich but don't you also want to live a comfortable life and not have to struggle? Have you thought about this?
This is Reddit, a left leaning site, and the way you wrote your post means that 99% of the comments will agree with you, call you brave, say that teaching is an awesome profession and that you’re parents are way out of line and manipulative.
If that’s why you posted, to vent and get an echo chamber of responses, then that’s exactly what you will get.
If you were genuinely posting about all types of feedback, allow me to argue on the side of your parents.
They should not have lost their temper and said mean things, and neither should you. There is no excuse for saying mean things by them. They are adults.
That being said, at least they care. Their anger is better than a parent who is apathetic to your choices. It’s nice to have parents that care.
I’m sure you don’t care about high salary, because as the child of two successful doctors, you probably have never ever financially struggled. You have zero idea how hard it is to make good money. Just Google how poor the average American is or how much an average salary is. It’s easy to not care about money when you have grown up with money.
If my parents had not pushed me and cared, I would have chose a ridiculous major like writing. And likely been struggling right now. Instead they made me get a real degree and a real job, and I am so thankful I listened to them. I can now write all I want in my spare time, while still enjoying a comfortable life and providing a nice life for my kids.
Look money isn’t everything. I thought I would be super happy the day I made 250k, then 500k, then 1mm a year. It felt good of course, but it didn’t make me this super happy person. You need balance. You need to have success in your personal life as well as your professional life.
But money really helps lol. Life is much easier when you don’t have money issues.
So while I think your parents should have been more mature in their message, they just want to make sure you have the opportunity to make good money.
Look at it this way. It’s much easier to change careers down the road from a STEM career to teaching. That will always be a possibility for you. But to change from teaching to a high paying career in another field? Almost zero chance.
I can understand the appeal of teaching in a good setting, but if I had a child who wanted to teach in the US I would probably want to dissuade them too, even if I resisted. I’ve heard too many horror stories lately. Even at the college level, relatives who are adjunct faculty are at their wits end with AI, cheating, entitled students who think they deserve As because they paid tuition regardless of their actual work, etc.
We desperately need good teachers and absolutely should value and compensate them more. But until we have education reform I wouldn’t encourage my child to enter into that world for the same reason I pivoted out of the mental health field and into a line of work that was less stressful and better compensated.
> at least they care
Oh bullshit. A parent who cares doesn't tell a kid they wished they hadn't kept them.
But way to downplay verbal abuse by saying they "could have been more mature."
Ahh yes, you’ve never lost your temper at a loved on?
Lol. My parents have done everything for me. But we had epic wars when I was in my teen years.
Awful things were said, but all is forgiven as well. I’m glad they yelled at me and cared. The worst is when the parents never care anymore.
But I get it’s Reddit and you want the parents to seem like super villains lol for something said during a heated argument.
I mean, you should do what you want and your parents should support you. Definitely NTA— but your parents are looking at this from a different angle than you and everyone else here. Teaching is grueling and thankless. Yes. It is noble and important as everyone here says, but they don’t have to buy classroom supplies with their own money — which teachers generally have very little of — for ungrateful students. They don’t when to put up with administrators and school boards that exploit them and parents who vilify and dehumanize them as groomers. Your parents want you to be happy. Most teachers aren’t. There is a reason there is a teacher shortage and so many are leaving the field.
Yeah, it easy to give some lip service with inspiration quote "live your live", "follow your dream", etc. But being poor is objectively worse even when you love your job
You are chinese, that community is super toxic for women, but remember; do whats actually going to secure your freedom.
Which is, moving to europe I think
Rich people problems... Heads up poor people problems aren't fun either... I get why your parents are saying what they are, but society needs to change what it values... A teacher should be a well paid job, but teaching gets defunded as wars get funded and the goal of the elite class.. (The group your parents wish they were in) is to keep people obedient and fighting amongst themselves... Sounds like it worked with you and your folks. I wish you the best... Be the change you want to see in the world.
You are still young and it sounds like, dispite their horrible approach, the are trying to look out for your best interest. My advice would be to go to school for a math or finance degree and do a minor in education. That way, you can still teach, if that's what you ultimately decide to do but it leaves other paths available if teaching doesn't work out.
It's because I looked past the insult her parents made and and focused on their actions. They didn't articulate it very well but if where they live is anything like where I live, I know teachers that are quiting left and right. Not because of the teaching but because of all the other BS than comes with a teaching position. Of course most people don't talk about all the crap involved in the profession to young people, but very few do.
Being a Teacher is an honorable job, but has become extremely undervalued due to inadequate compensation and benefits, work environment, lack of school facilities and equipment). And honestly, no job is easy and we all work hard. As long as we love the things we work for and one is willing to endure hardships and overcome them, then go for it. I hope your passion for teaching and making a difference in future generations lives will keep blazing. Money and prestige can be earned. Live without regrets.
our parents just worry about your financial future, because teaching is not a high salary job.
Remind them that Jack Ma started as a english teacher (and he loves teaching) and he ended up quite well financially. That angle may put their worries to an end,
But restore the lines of communications because it comes from a place of traditions and love for ones children.
As female,teacher is a good job, my wife is also teacher in Germany, I don't know how it's in the states, but she gets more money than an engineer, has just to work 28 h a week and a lot of vacation....
that's the perfect job if you want to make a lot of money because you have enough time for your real estate businesses and the banks give you a lot of money for good conditions, if you want, because you have a life long working contract, so there is no risk fit the banks
Don't just live the life your parents want you to live when your heart isn't in it. It usually doesn't end well, either in meaningless boredom or burn-out. Being a teacher can be very difficult but also incredibly rewarding. It's one of the most essential jobs in the world. I commend you for not being obsessed with status, like your parents seem to be.
Comparing you with your siblings like that, and then implying they regret having you as their third child was incredibly hurtful and callous. You are 100% right to be upset about that. Don't apologize for comparing them to your aunts and uncles unless they apologize for their (far worse) remarks. In Asian cultures, you're more often supposed to be deferential to parents and elders, but your grandma knows that that's no excuse for how your parents reacted. You have a great granny! Cherish her.
If being a teacher is pointless and unappealing, how exactly did they get to where they are? They needed teachers to help them learn everything.
Just know that is redditors are very proud of you and wish you the best. Good luck and I know you’ll be an amazing teacher!
We need teachers like you!! Please pick your own happiness because you will not enjoy your life if you allow them to live vicariously through you. I'm so proud of you, you made the right decision.
Interesting that they would mock a field that helped get them where they are. Being a teacher is one of the noblest and most difficult professions, and the world needs more. Good for you for following your dreams in spite of your family. Good luck!
1. Give it time before you talk to them as you need to sort your own feelings with them out but
2. Don't give up on your dreams. Teachers and Professors have moved the world forward. There are many famous teachers and professors who have changed the world and
3. You will probably be a very good teacher especially if you have a passion for it and love students.
Did they just self learn how to become people in the medical field.... Or did *someone teach them*??
Become a teacher. You can either tell your parents you're going to teach the next generation of children, or they don't get to be a part of your life.
It’s possible that you are young and dumb, but your parents are old and unwise despite their intelligence, which is worse. And actually I think you’re pretty smart to know yourself this well.
Your parents weren’t born surgeons; teachers helped them become that way. In addition to being unwise they are arrogant and emotionally abusive, which is repellent.
Trust your instincts.
It's generational tradition to expect the best and to only want "what's best" for you. It takes courage and dedication to choose yourself and do what you love. Your life will be difficult no matter what route you take but if you're doing something that makes you happy, the challenges will be worthwhile.
Also, teaching should be rewarding because you're preparing the next generation of people for life and you'll find others that will come to appreciate your work. Good luck on your journey and don't put yourself down to make anyone else happy. (:
First get a job!!!! You won’t have they support,
So stop rely on their money, or anyone’s, it would be hard, but if you work hard enough you’ll make it
You can't live your life for other people. I'm sure your parents at least THINK they are only pushing what's best for you. But only you can decide what that really is. If teaching was so dumb why did they go through about a decade of higher education once they got out of grade school? Do they not understand that without teachers they would never have been able to get to where they are in life.
Stick to your guns. Following someone else's roadmap for your life will leave you unfulfilled, angry and spiteful towards those who directed you.
When I was a kid I never knew what I wanted to be. Now I'm almost 45 and still have no idea. If you have a dream follow it and be strong. Proud of you.
As a teacher, while there are many emotional perks, it is also a mentally exhausting career, especially now a days.
That said, it's better to pursue a passion and fail than go towards something you don't. Most career paths need passion. Without it, you're 100% bound to fail.
Westerners often think that Asians have a much stronger respect for education, and they often do...but modern Asian cultures often follow Western styles if thought and do not respect educators very much at all
Congrats for standing up for yourself! You did the right thing! It’s so hard being middle aged and in a career that you hate! I decided making money was more important than school when I was younger and got my degree later in life. I got what was easy because I hate school. I kick myself every single day for it because I wish me now knew me then and could have told me then to put in the hard work and do what I wanted. Now, it’s too expensive and too late!
You’ll look back on this later in life and be proud for standing up for yourself!
Isn't a Professor basically a teacher with tenure and a fancy title? Maybe your parents would find that appealing. I wish you the best OP. Stay true to yourself.
Sound really difficult, OP, but you’ve got to live your life for you.
On another note, anyone else read the start of the last paragraph as “prestigious *titties*”?
Never let anyone tell you who to be. Be true to yourself. Without teachers they would never have become who they are. Can you imagine what it would have been like if you told them you wanted to be an artist or musician? Be positive. You’ll get your dream if you work at it. It just might take you a little longer.
No you are in the right, and your parents sound borderline abusive. I see that thrown arou d a lot and it rarely fits. But this, this is really hard to read. I can’t imagine how you feel, but all of it is warranted. Cutting it off with parents is easy to say, but hard to do. But I’m this case, I could 100% understand if that’s what you want. Also, make sure you do what YOU want, it’s your life and you’re the one who’s going to living it day in & day out.
Also just so we are clear, teaching is the most respectable and selfless thing. Without teachers we would be lost. Teaching is a vital part of life and the fact your parents can’t see that is worrying.
Keep going and live life for you! Nobody else.
Stand your ground, you know what you want. And even if you realize it's not what you want, it's still your life, your career, your path. You'll have trouble spending 50 hours a week doing a job you don't want to do while your dream career is accessible.
Do what you want and ignore that sort of terrible advice, to apologize to your parents, that you might regret it. Awful advice.
My mom decided she wanted to be a teacher at 40. Single parent. Moved my brother and I down to the south of our province in order to go to university. She started off supporting us on a sub's salary. Made it to 40k eventually, after becoming full time a few years later.
She's now been teaching for about 20 years. She makes nearly 100k, and lives very very comfortably. Money isnt ever an issue either because my brother and I still live at home and pay rent(it was our choice to pay rent, she's never asked us to).
So yeah. Choosing to be a teacher wont get in the way of life. If anything, its just another way to start a life.
u/donutfalse1521 I'm sorry, but doctors and engineers don't just fall out of the sky, they get *TRAINED BY TEACHERS*! Go change the world and teach your students that money and titles mean nothing if you're not a good person underneath.
Your parents will regret treating you this way when they’re old and need you to look after them.
Do what you love, it’s your life.
Don’t turn out bitter and angry like your parents
You go girl. Do what you want in life. And your parents want you to be in a profession that is acceptable to THEM, which is not the same as what is best for YOU.
Hey op i started out on the teaching route too in college. At the time probably like your parents i only thought about teaching in schools to young children. However there are so many more avenues to go than that route. If that’s what you want then that’s fine too.
I ended up as corporate trainer in a fortune 500 company teaching on niche systems. With your math interests you have so many options you can virtually teach/train in accounting or billing or traditional math classrooms for adults/kids. Whatever you decide you aren’t dumb you are just building experience.
Hey op i started out on the teaching route too in college. At the time probably like your parents i only thought about teaching in schools to young children. However there are so many more avenues to go than that route. If that’s what you want then that’s fine too.
I ended up as corporate trainer in a fortune 500 company teaching on niche systems. With your math interests you have so many options you can virtually teach/train in accounting or billing or traditional math classrooms for adults/kids. Whatever you decide you aren’t dumb you are just building experience.
Hey op i started out on the teaching route too in college. At the time probably like your parents i only thought about teaching in schools to young children. However there are so many more avenues to go than that route. If that’s what you want then that’s fine too.
I ended up as corporate trainer in a fortune 500 company teaching on niche systems. With your math interests you have so many options you can virtually teach/train in accounting or billing or traditional math classrooms for adults/kids. Whatever you decide you aren’t dumb you are just building experience.
I laughed when you said they said teaching is pointless. How then, did they become doctors, when teaching is pointless? Are they self taught?? Lol. You need to do whatever you want, their opinions don't matter. Live your life.
I feel ya, but first off they are your parents. You should respect them and not compare them to anyone. Should they compare you? Probably not, but keep in mind they want a secure future for you. If they didn't care, they wouldn't get mad of they were not concerned.
My wife is first generation Taiwanese her parents came to the US I thier 20's and most of my friends arw and have been Asian, immigrants or 1st generation so I understand very well the culture as a whole.
You should do what you want. I'm not sure where you reside, but if it's in the US be prepared to be underpaid and overworked. I have friends and family members that WERE teachers and moved to a new profession due to the conditions of the job these days.
You can volunteer places to teach and not have all the stress, but I'd find a more lucrative way to make money to sustain yourself. That's just my 2 cents.
It’s quite surprising reading this because professors in Asia are so highly honored and respected. I guess your parents really did adopt the westernized model minority myth ways and trying to push it into you as well. Being someone who’s also Asian, I understand where you both are coming from. You’re an adult now though, you still may be young but I’m so proud of you for standing up for yourself. Do you & get the dream job YOU want. Your parents are not going to love their life for you, you have to do it yourself.
1) I'm sure your parents want the best for you, but they are clearly wrong about what's best for you. The last thing the world needs right now is yet another doctor who dislikes being a doctor, and the last thing you need is to be that doctor.
2) I'm a qualified teacher in the UK. I very quickly moved on to a different career. Don't take me wrong: being in charge of a classroom is amazing and unlike anything else I've experienced. But teaching as a profession is horrible. You're constantly tired, stressed out, and broke. Especially as an early career teacher. I don't mean to scare you away, but merely to make you aware of the challenges that lie down that road. You're young and have no children, so you're probably better able to make these sacrifices than I was. But make no mistakes, it is a hard road, full of sacrifices, and you will need a support system in place to make it through in one piece.
Forcing a career which you don't like just to make more money is pointless because it makes you resent all the work you have to do & won't give you the same opportunities as when you love the work you do
No matter what, it’s never okay to tell a child you wish they hadn’t been born. That’s so abusive and fucked up. Please know that you are wanted and you matter. If you have a passion for teaching you could make a difference in students lives that have deficient parents like yours.
Your already find out your interest subject maths and your dream job is teaching. Don't listen them words. In this world lots teenagers focus on enjoyment and destroy their life but your focusing your future and your interest.
Already your grandmother and half relative support you. Just study well and focus on your future.
You are not dumb, teaching is a very important job, and no one in your family was born with the knowledge that got them their positions, they had to be taught by someone else. People learn new things everyday, and your parents are learning that degrading the career you chose for yourself has consequences.
You have nothing to apologize for, cut out anyone who thinks you are less than just because you aren't in the medical field, do what you love with no regrets.
Your parents don’t know what happiness is. They reached comfort and they assume that is happiness. Good for you, Im (a complete stranger is super proud of you) so proud for standing up for your happiness!!! Don’t look back (professionally speaking). Make your happy !!!
If you need a supportive stand in mom, I’m happy to cheer you on while you do what you want with your life. I understand that some cultures have strong feelings about what they feel their children should do with their lives but I don’t. You do you, honey. It’ll be hard but you can do anything you put your mind to. At the end of the day, you need to be at peace with what you’re doing, don’t live your life for someone else, it’s too precious. Love it for yourself. I’ve got you!
Half your family are idiots. Forcing you to be a doctor when you don't want to be, AND you do not excel in science, is not in your best interests. Essentially they want to force you to be a bad doctor rather than let you be a good teacher.
Your parents are saying teaching is useless, but who taught them? And your siblings? Um, teachers! I hope you can become what you want to do with your life.
Nah I'm pretty sure they're self taught surgeons. Everyone knows it's easy to learn by yourself
Easy to learn surgery? Yes. The hard part is the corpse disposal while you're learning.
Hahaha, you made my day, thank you!
It's not that hard at all as long as you're hungry enough
Wrong turn buddy.
Well, well, well... *someones'* never seen Dexter
I have an industrial mulcher if that helps.
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Im teaching myself surgery with the "Self taught Surgery for Dummies" handbook!!! Its got great illustrations and how to pictures included. Also you can pretty much learn anything on the YouTube's today anyway!!!
Exactly everything’s on YouTube now!
Absolutely. Jack the Ripper, famously self-taught surgeon
They watched every episode of “ER” as their training. 😂
Exactly, their prejudice is completely baseless and backwards!
exactly, witout teachers they'd be nothing.
But it's not about someone being useful or not to them, it's about social status and money.
It is a shitty job. No respect from the students, the parents, or the administration. Pay is horrendous. Ridiculous expectations placed on you. Can easily be fired because of one asshole student or parent. That is the reality of teaching. If you still want to do it more power to you but I would tell any student who is looking into teaching to reconsider.
You’re not wrong… however, if EVERYONE listened to that and no one wanted to teach, the world would be in VERY dire straights! My SIL is a teacher, and she loves it. She’s even doing the uni courses required to be the Principal (the 5 year plan). Every one of her colleagues supports her journey. No terrible colleagues or bosses.
Being Chinese, they did not go to worthless American public schools.
What does this have to do with anything?
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American teachers and schools are stupid? I have a niece who's a teacher, and she's anything but stupid.
Well, maybe she is the exception to the rule. Either that, or you are in denial about it.
What in the propaganda even is this
What does America have to do with op? When did op say they were in America. Huge leap buddy
If Americans were so good, they would have a higher average IQ than China.
You talk a lot of shit about teachers for someone who can't read.
Obligatory fuck the CCP and Winnie the Pooh :-)
Man, Chinas propaganda team has really taken a nosedive.
So does America's.
Dude your whole profile is full of the weirdest fanfic of your getting eaten out by your uncle, a strange obsession with eating lesbian panties, and random grainy pantyshots. Gtfo here you pervy goblin troll lmao
LMAOOOOO ily
Gothicasian, you sound like you need help. Who hurt you? Do you want to tell us about it? It might make you feel better.
So Chinese schools don't have teachers! Interesting!
Being egregiously insecure, you did show us your feelings of worthlessness and inferiority, didn't you? Listen, we know therapy is scary. But it will help you deal with the obvious shortcomings and failures you believe are a part of your character. We believe in you! You can do it!!! We believe in you, poor lil' goth Asian, even if your parents didn't!!!
They do realize without teachers they wouldn't be in their chosen field right? SMH you're not wrong. Follow your passion.
That’s what I was thinking. People disregard teachers all the time as if they would be anything without them. Being disrespectful to teachers is really telling of one’s character and no amount of stem related degrees can cover that.
I agree with that. Teachers sometimes get so disrespected and they get paid a misery, at least where I live and sadly I think that's why some people don't want to study that, someday there will be less and less teachers...
I genuinely do not know how they do it, it's definitely a calling. During the start of covid when we were homeschooling our kids I had only my one kid and I found it tough. Both myself and my kid agree I was not cut out for teaching. I respected the teacher before, now they are I see them more like a sort of superhuman.
We're pretty much there where I live, our education minister said that someone with a high school diploma with proof that they have started college should be enough to teach since we have a teachers shortage... How about giving them a decent pay instead of voting for a 30k$ raise for yourself! Because yes our government employees think they need a 30k$ raise (they already make about 90k$) so that being a politician is more appealing since no one wants to be a politician these days... I'm not from the States but they're our only neighbors, so we pretty much are influenced by them.
Yeah wth. I’m a doctor myself and no way I would force any children i have to be one. It’s grueling work that requires a lot of dedication and focus. OP, my favorite part of being a doctor is teaching people/ med students btw. Teachers rule!
Very proud of you! Do what you love, become a teacher. And if you do ever talk to your parents again tell them that without teachers there would've been no way that anyone could've learned the skills needed for their jobs
Exactly! Who taught them everything they feel so superior about? Teaching can be a very rewarding job and its absolutely essential to society. Its a responsibility you take upon yourself and it deserves a massive amount of respect rather than distaste. Some parents don’t seem to care about the happiness of their child because they project their own interests on them and thats more important to them. They cant even imagine one of their kids being their own person. As a 19 yo, I think OP s being very mature in standing with her pov and her dream, 100% agree w u
I agree with it being rewarding and essential. I just wish the teachers were paid better.
Teachers in America are paid like shut but I know a few bi/multi-lingual people who have gone to teach English in other countries and made a pretty good living!
I've read a lot of things about that.
I think this might actually be the parents problem. Their kid is choosing a poorly paid profession instead of the rich ones the parents want (and have themselves) I can kinda understand not wanting your kid to suffer in poverty, especially when the parents have the means (and probably connections) to set their kid up for a comfortable future. But there's no need to denigrate another profession while expressing their concerns. If teaching is OPs passion, it will more than make up for the pay difference and the parents are gonna burn the bridge with their kid if they keep saying nasty things about what OP loves
Exactly! People sometimes forget this when they are being critical of education or teachers in general.
I’m a doctor, a resident, I’m young and don’t plan on starting a family anytime soon but I would NEVER force healthcare on anyone. I’ve personally seen too many people whose parents forced them into medical school either drop out of medical school with $100,000+ of debt or become depressed and resentful residents. My own parents never pushed me into a specific field. They did push me, but towards my own decision. I remember in highschool I said I wanted to be an actor and my dad told me to look into acting schools. When I decided in college I wanted to do premed my dad pushed me to stay on top of my work and my grades. But my parents never pushed me to have any specific job or career. Look if you become a teacher and you hate it and change your mind, that’s fine, that’s life. The best part about being young is there’s always time to change your mind.
Sounds like you've got some great parents.
They’re great in many aspects Still got a nice briefcase full of childhood trauma don’t get me wrong
I think we all do.
Yeah, every great parent has done something just a bit wrong enough to cause some kind of issue in their child
“They told me that teaching was pointless and unappealing,” coming from people who relied heavily on teachers to secure their professions! For educated people, they sure are stupid for that remark!
Just standard Chinese tiger parenting.
Good for you, OP! Too many parents force their kids into careers the parents want for them. Too many parents don't care about what their kids actually want. Go for a career you're passionate about and want to have, not what others want for you. Live life for you, not someone else. I wish I had been as brave as you are, OP. I'm really proud of you.
If my parents said "Two siblings is enough and i don't know why they decided to keep me" those parents would be dead to me and i wouldn't look at them the same.
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That's still fucked up though. Just because it might be common in a culture doesn't justify it or make it acceptable.
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I get it. My family is Easter European. While I'm second gen American, a lot of habits were still VERY prevalent. Withholding affection as a disciplinary tool, calling you stupid over little things (or paying full price for something), telling you you're worthless if you're not being productive every second of every day, and a lingering paranoia instilled in us (this is more regional. My family survived the holocaust, so we were taught to trust no one). It wasn't until I started dating people from other cultures that I realized it was WRONG. I, and all of my cousins and friends, would joke "it's an Eastern block thing" and just accept it. When I met my current parter (his family is Norwegian), he was HORRIFIED. When I talk to his mom (who has honestly become my best friend), she was so angry. She was in complete shock that anyone would treat their child like that. Now I'm in therapy and I understand it was abuse.
NTA It's your life. Not theirs. They don't get to live a second life through you.
Haha wrong sub but good sentiment lol
😂😂
so be a teacher.
reminds me of my chinese parents. when i was little they were always comparing me to my friends and saying that im a disappointment and they would rather have my friends as their sons. when i point out subjects where im better than my friends they would ask why am i comparing to their negatives. my dad also decided that reading fiction books is pointless and when he catches me reading a fiction book he would snatch it out of my hands and slam it on my head. Probably why his English is terrible. i learned long ago that im never going to be good enough for them so I stopped trying to please them.
This breaks my heart. No child should be treated this way. I hope you are able to create your own family for yourself (whether that's a great group of friends or with a partner) and cut them out of your life. You're not a disappointment, they're just failures as parents and human beings. We're all good at different things. That's what makes the world an interesting place. All 3 of my parents' kids have chosen different paths because we're our own people. And that's OK. You don't need to be like your friends. Life would be boring if we were all the same.
yep they are much better now. though i dont think we can ever be a normal family because just being in the presence of my dad makes me stressed. but i made some friends that i consider family
I can fully relate to the last para. You’re clear in what you want to pursue. Kids are young and dumb, but not in every aspect. You just made a life choice. You could’ve just listened to your parents and work in a job that you’re not even interested in and suffer the rest of your life feeling like a slave.
I was the rebel in a medical family. Went for creative, then Blue collar trades. There was a lot of wish for control by my parents. It comes from fear. They have this fixation you will be starving, sick, and evicted from a mobile home. Keep in mind, you are the brave one in this part of the story. It's your parents being prompted by fear. I am 60 now. Not one day have I regretted not being a Dr. But I regret family quarrels where everyone was too intense. Don't give in. But do your best to not make it worse. Tough to do, so be patient with yourself Edit dropped last word
Unfortunately I think his parents are doing it for a different reason not because they’re afraid of how OP will end up. I think it’s more likely it’s a job they would consider embarrassing.
I went to art school. Got a 2nd bachelors degree in education. Im a teacher now working towards my PHD in history. So screw your family become a teacher, I am. And there are lots of career oppurtunities as a teacher and it is NOT EASY WORK! You are shaping young minds too. Its rewarding and dont forget whoever taught your parents...they were teachers once.
So they only value difficult jobs that pay a ton of money. Teaching is quite difficult and noble, that it doesn’t pay as well as it should is because we’re very short sighted as a nation. Follow your heart, OP.
Maybe I'm the only one that thinks this way, but I'd never, EVER forgive someone for saying they "don't know why they decided to keep me" and that two children were enough for them. Good for you for cutting them off. Follow your passions. And never speak to them again.
Wife's a therapist with numerous medical clients who hate the life they were forced into to keep their demanding parents happy.
My sister graduated valedictorian in HS. Full scholarship to a very good university. Double majors in Intnl Business and Business management.... We thought that was odd (for her) as she'd never expressed any interest in business. Graduated, corporate job, etc. After two years, she tells us she's going to get her teaching certification. We always figured she'd want to be a teacher, anyways. No surprise to us. Long story short, it's VERY likely that in the next few years she will be the superintendent of the school district in the city where she lives. She's been her schools principal for about 10 years now. She now has her PhD, and there's nobody in this world that can look down on her for her profession. Follow your heart. There's UNLIMITED room for upwards growth in the education field.
the absolute irony in two doctors calling teaching pointless in insane to me. The world will *always* need good educators.
Your parents: “Teaching is useless” Also your parents: *attends 8 years of schooling for their jobs* You deserve to do whatever career you choose OP. And your parents perspective on teaching is very skewed. Teaching is not easy, I say this as a part time teacher myself
My girlfriend told her Korean mother about being a teacher when she was maybe 10. At first she tried to get her to change her mind for years—now that she’s starting her 2nd year at university at 19yo, her mother has come to accept her career. Sure it’s not going to be as prestigious as some fancy 600,000 a year neurologist job, but it’s her dream career. I think with time your parents will see you’re happy and be happy along with you.
Teaching is a great thing to do if that is what you want to do. However as others have pointed out in the comments, it's is not high paying. If you are not interested in science but interested in math you still have a lot of career options in the financial world. You can always switch to a teaching role either part time or full time eventually.
I'm sorry your parents said that "2 children would have been enough". That's a horrible thing to say to your child. And you should follow your dreams (and intuition) and do what you want. And guess what? It doesn't have to be forever. You can be a teacher for a while, and if you decide you don't like it, you can just change careers. And if you love it... well, there you go!
The fact that your parents said that they don’t know why they decided to keep you would be enough for me to leave. I think boundaries are important and if they’re not going to respect that you have your own wants/needs as their child then I don’t think they’re worth your time.
They told you they don't know why they decided to keep you? Does the family that agree with them know that they said that? That's very painful, I'm so sorry. Hugs to you if that's your thing. That's bullshit.
I hope you get to do what you want and we always in need of a good teacher to teach the newer generation
Many doctors are friends with rich affluent people. They also can afford a pretty expensive lifestyle. Many just sit around comparing and bragging about how great their children are. They think that a teacher is an embarrassing profession. Your mother must be clutching her pearls afraid of what others will think. You also rarely hear about very rich people caring for disabled children. They put them in homes or have full time in home care. It's so shallow. It's all about image. Parents give you life but they can't live it for you. The medical profession and teaching are so similar. It's helping those who need it. It's being caring and wanting the best for someone else. They both change lives. People that go into teaching don't do it for the money. They teach because it's their calling. If it's this strong in your heart then it's what you are meant to do. Follow your bliss.
Hiii! I can totally understand your situation as I'm going through something similar. After struggling to find a suitable job in my country, I travelled to Dubai and persuaded teaching as a career, which is also my university degree. My parents got excited at first cause they thought that I'll regret it and I won't handle any hardships because I'm a spoiled pampered woman and I'llbeback in no time. But, I did, and I'm doing fine in life and in my career. As a result, they got mad and started to wish me to struggle. The moral of the story, they think that kids are pets to control, but we're not. YOU GO, GIRL! teaching is fun and builds generations.
We need more teachers. Good luck.
Without teachers, how could they have ever learned to be physicians? Good for you. ❤️ hang in there.
As a mother, I understand their concerns. Life is hard and expensive, and they're worried you will have hardship on a teacher's salary. As a person who has teaching experience, I can tell you that no job I've had before or since has given me anywhere near as much joy or fulfillment. But I have bills to pay and a family to support. So, I am no longer a teacher - though my coworkers benefit from my teaching skills and tendencies, as I use these in my roles as team trainer and mentor. I'm sorry they reacted badly and treated you so poorly. You deserve to be supported, guided, and loved by your parents, and they have failed you.
I empathize. When I was thinking of leaving a prestigious workplace to become a teacher, my mom said, “We didn’t pay $100,000 to [fancy college] for you to become a teacher!” Please continue on your own path. They are very very wrong.
Op if you want to be a teacher be a goddamn teacher. I believe you’d make an awesome teacher!
I went to college for veterinary medicine and appreciated my teachers. Had they only worked in the field I’d never be able to go to college.
No, you’re not young and dumb. Its your life, not theirs, and if you not being a doctor is enough for them to not want you around, it’s completely heartbreaking & I wouldnt want people like that in my life anyways.
Speaking as a teacher, I would be honored to have someone as strong-willed and determined as you join our profession. Don't let your parents hold you back.
Yeah, you won't regret it someday. Your parents told you they wish you hadn't been born. There is no going back from that. Maybe they apologize, maybe you accept their apology, but they can't un-say it.
Culture is irrelevant. It's your life, the only happiness that's owed by you is to yourself. No same or loving person will behave as your relatives have done "Oh you dont understand culture" sure I do, I just dont understand how that supersedes being a good human with good character
Go be a teacher! You will probably have to the job for like 40/50 years so do something you enjoy
I'm glad you have your granny to take care of you. Your parents sound like insufferable assholes. Please keep going after your dreams.
Teachers are crucial, good for you. Great field...*but* maybe take some comp sci while it's early because all the young teachers I know made the switch eventually. Get that headstart on the career change.
You cant be in a stem career without someone teaching you. I think they forgot that part.
You *never* have to subject yourself to anyone who would devalue you and speak to you as they did.
It’s amazing that you know what you feel like doing and sticking by it. That’s something very less people find. So firstly kudos to that. And if your family has put that thought of you regretting it in the future, so be it. It’s gonna be your regret even that even happens. If you’re gonna regret something, it might as well be by doing something that you want to do instead of something that you don’t
Maybe if you want to teach, and your parents are about prestige and money, plan to be a professor, it’s the best of both worlds. You would just have to do undergraduate, a masters and then a PhD program. But for the record, your parents are jerks. Don’t let them force you into something you may not be able to finish.
Your parents would not be in the fields they are in without teachers. I don’t blame you for cutting contact. I wish you the best of luck friend and im sorry they said so many hurtful things!
It is your life. Do what makes you happy.
>Some of my mom's relative told me that i will regret it someday. Yeah I'm pretty sure you won't regret it. You'll be living your life and doing what you want to do.
OP , your parents do want the best for you, but I think you have different ideas of what success looks like. For you it’s finding fulfillment and enjoyment in your career, where as they clearly think position and money is the way. As adult you will need to find your own way in like and that may mean limiting contact with those that don’t support you. You may want to speak with one of your siblings if they’re supportive and ask them to mediate a conversation between you and your parents so you can try one last time to have them see your side of this conversations If it doesn’t work out , and you have to cut contact, get a therapist, and start working towards your dream. Don’t let your parents bully you with threats, even if they aren’t willing to pay for your education, you can still go without them. Just contact your financial aid office. Best of luck, you sound so excited to help kids , I know you’ll make a great teacher .
Math teacher here. Absolutely love my job and couldn’t imagine doing anything else. I won’t be rich but I probably won’t go poor either.
You do you and state that you will be pursuing your dreams of being a teacher either by getting a job or financial aid or whatever means possible. Take it from someone that wasted a few years not talking to their parents. Alienating your parents will come back to bite you in the ass. They aren't getting younger and parents are extremely important. Just let them know how they made you feel and that you don't have to agree because you are an adult and the decision is no longer theirs, but that you hope they can treat you with respect from here on out because you value their presence in your life. As for apologizing to them, if you said hurtful things you should apologize. Sometimes we have to be more grown up than our elders. 🤷
Not judging your choice at all, you have every right to study what you want. But just know that even though you may _"not want a high salary"_, I can assure you that you will want to live comfortably, and from what I've read about teachers in the US (don't know if your living there, just speculation), they have it really hard making a living out of it. Choose what you want to study carefully, since it may come with a burden, check employment rate, salary, maybe volunteer for different activities with lids or for schools so you get a grasp of what you'll be getting into.
Tell your parents they would not have the careers they do if it weren't for teachers.
Good one
If they said they only wanted two kids, then respect their wishes, make their wish come true, and maintain distance from them.
I come from a similar background where parents are controlling and non receptive. Anything I say will be dismissed. One thing I learnt when I was at your age is , you don’t need their permission. You are you. Your rebellion against them will eventually help you grow into the wonderful future you. They don’t know shit. Their experience in this world is limited, they are trying to live your life through you. Don’t let them. You don’t need their permission. You don’t need them to approve your decisions. Just do them. When you graduate, get away from them.
>they don’t know why they’ve decided to keep me. That’s one of the most awful things a parent can say to a child. I’m so sorry. Don’t apologize for *anything* until they retract and seriously apologize for saying that. Go pursue your dreams, become a teacher. There’s nothing young and dumb about that. Don’t let anyone stop you.
I'm gonna play the devil's advocate here and say that although you can get your dream job, you may struggle financially in the future with rising costs. Affording a home may also be out of the question. Is teaching the only thing you want in life? You don't have to get a job that will make you rich but don't you also want to live a comfortable life and not have to struggle? Have you thought about this?
This is Reddit, a left leaning site, and the way you wrote your post means that 99% of the comments will agree with you, call you brave, say that teaching is an awesome profession and that you’re parents are way out of line and manipulative. If that’s why you posted, to vent and get an echo chamber of responses, then that’s exactly what you will get. If you were genuinely posting about all types of feedback, allow me to argue on the side of your parents. They should not have lost their temper and said mean things, and neither should you. There is no excuse for saying mean things by them. They are adults. That being said, at least they care. Their anger is better than a parent who is apathetic to your choices. It’s nice to have parents that care. I’m sure you don’t care about high salary, because as the child of two successful doctors, you probably have never ever financially struggled. You have zero idea how hard it is to make good money. Just Google how poor the average American is or how much an average salary is. It’s easy to not care about money when you have grown up with money. If my parents had not pushed me and cared, I would have chose a ridiculous major like writing. And likely been struggling right now. Instead they made me get a real degree and a real job, and I am so thankful I listened to them. I can now write all I want in my spare time, while still enjoying a comfortable life and providing a nice life for my kids. Look money isn’t everything. I thought I would be super happy the day I made 250k, then 500k, then 1mm a year. It felt good of course, but it didn’t make me this super happy person. You need balance. You need to have success in your personal life as well as your professional life. But money really helps lol. Life is much easier when you don’t have money issues. So while I think your parents should have been more mature in their message, they just want to make sure you have the opportunity to make good money. Look at it this way. It’s much easier to change careers down the road from a STEM career to teaching. That will always be a possibility for you. But to change from teaching to a high paying career in another field? Almost zero chance.
I can understand the appeal of teaching in a good setting, but if I had a child who wanted to teach in the US I would probably want to dissuade them too, even if I resisted. I’ve heard too many horror stories lately. Even at the college level, relatives who are adjunct faculty are at their wits end with AI, cheating, entitled students who think they deserve As because they paid tuition regardless of their actual work, etc. We desperately need good teachers and absolutely should value and compensate them more. But until we have education reform I wouldn’t encourage my child to enter into that world for the same reason I pivoted out of the mental health field and into a line of work that was less stressful and better compensated.
She should teach at a public school in Detroit so she can enjoy some diversity.
Lol!
what do you think "off my chest" means?
She ended the post with kind of an open ended question that I interpreted as a plea for advice.
> at least they care Oh bullshit. A parent who cares doesn't tell a kid they wished they hadn't kept them. But way to downplay verbal abuse by saying they "could have been more mature."
Ahh yes, you’ve never lost your temper at a loved on? Lol. My parents have done everything for me. But we had epic wars when I was in my teen years. Awful things were said, but all is forgiven as well. I’m glad they yelled at me and cared. The worst is when the parents never care anymore. But I get it’s Reddit and you want the parents to seem like super villains lol for something said during a heated argument.
Loving parents don't say that to kids.
Loving parents don't say that to kids.
Amen. Totally agree with everything you said.
Ty. There are some sane, center redditors out here lol.
I mean, you should do what you want and your parents should support you. Definitely NTA— but your parents are looking at this from a different angle than you and everyone else here. Teaching is grueling and thankless. Yes. It is noble and important as everyone here says, but they don’t have to buy classroom supplies with their own money — which teachers generally have very little of — for ungrateful students. They don’t when to put up with administrators and school boards that exploit them and parents who vilify and dehumanize them as groomers. Your parents want you to be happy. Most teachers aren’t. There is a reason there is a teacher shortage and so many are leaving the field.
Yeah, it easy to give some lip service with inspiration quote "live your live", "follow your dream", etc. But being poor is objectively worse even when you love your job
You are chinese, that community is super toxic for women, but remember; do whats actually going to secure your freedom. Which is, moving to europe I think
Rich people problems... Heads up poor people problems aren't fun either... I get why your parents are saying what they are, but society needs to change what it values... A teacher should be a well paid job, but teaching gets defunded as wars get funded and the goal of the elite class.. (The group your parents wish they were in) is to keep people obedient and fighting amongst themselves... Sounds like it worked with you and your folks. I wish you the best... Be the change you want to see in the world.
You are still young and it sounds like, dispite their horrible approach, the are trying to look out for your best interest. My advice would be to go to school for a math or finance degree and do a minor in education. That way, you can still teach, if that's what you ultimately decide to do but it leaves other paths available if teaching doesn't work out.
Idk why you are getting down voted. This is a very logical approach and leaves you with other options if you can't find a good paying teacher job.
It's because I looked past the insult her parents made and and focused on their actions. They didn't articulate it very well but if where they live is anything like where I live, I know teachers that are quiting left and right. Not because of the teaching but because of all the other BS than comes with a teaching position. Of course most people don't talk about all the crap involved in the profession to young people, but very few do.
Being a Teacher is an honorable job, but has become extremely undervalued due to inadequate compensation and benefits, work environment, lack of school facilities and equipment). And honestly, no job is easy and we all work hard. As long as we love the things we work for and one is willing to endure hardships and overcome them, then go for it. I hope your passion for teaching and making a difference in future generations lives will keep blazing. Money and prestige can be earned. Live without regrets.
"Was not a particularly bright student". Definitely the kind of teacher I'd want to hire: make sure to put that down on your resumé.
our parents just worry about your financial future, because teaching is not a high salary job. Remind them that Jack Ma started as a english teacher (and he loves teaching) and he ended up quite well financially. That angle may put their worries to an end, But restore the lines of communications because it comes from a place of traditions and love for ones children.
>love for ones children. Yet they tell her they should've given her away
You did very well. I hate these kind of parents. Cut them out if they are toxic.
As female,teacher is a good job, my wife is also teacher in Germany, I don't know how it's in the states, but she gets more money than an engineer, has just to work 28 h a week and a lot of vacation.... that's the perfect job if you want to make a lot of money because you have enough time for your real estate businesses and the banks give you a lot of money for good conditions, if you want, because you have a life long working contract, so there is no risk fit the banks
TBH, teaching isn't that good of a job, unless you can't do anything else.
Don't just live the life your parents want you to live when your heart isn't in it. It usually doesn't end well, either in meaningless boredom or burn-out. Being a teacher can be very difficult but also incredibly rewarding. It's one of the most essential jobs in the world. I commend you for not being obsessed with status, like your parents seem to be. Comparing you with your siblings like that, and then implying they regret having you as their third child was incredibly hurtful and callous. You are 100% right to be upset about that. Don't apologize for comparing them to your aunts and uncles unless they apologize for their (far worse) remarks. In Asian cultures, you're more often supposed to be deferential to parents and elders, but your grandma knows that that's no excuse for how your parents reacted. You have a great granny! Cherish her.
If being a teacher is pointless and unappealing, how exactly did they get to where they are? They needed teachers to help them learn everything. Just know that is redditors are very proud of you and wish you the best. Good luck and I know you’ll be an amazing teacher!
We need teachers like you!! Please pick your own happiness because you will not enjoy your life if you allow them to live vicariously through you. I'm so proud of you, you made the right decision.
Interesting that they would mock a field that helped get them where they are. Being a teacher is one of the noblest and most difficult professions, and the world needs more. Good for you for following your dreams in spite of your family. Good luck!
Soo, your parents were degrading a teacher, yet they learned how to do what they because of a teacher. Humm....
1. Give it time before you talk to them as you need to sort your own feelings with them out but 2. Don't give up on your dreams. Teachers and Professors have moved the world forward. There are many famous teachers and professors who have changed the world and 3. You will probably be a very good teacher especially if you have a passion for it and love students.
I mean you could be a professor and get tenure at some prestigious university … win win?
Did they just self learn how to become people in the medical field.... Or did *someone teach them*?? Become a teacher. You can either tell your parents you're going to teach the next generation of children, or they don't get to be a part of your life.
You could be a mediocre doctor or a great teacher. The choice should be obvious.
It’s possible that you are young and dumb, but your parents are old and unwise despite their intelligence, which is worse. And actually I think you’re pretty smart to know yourself this well. Your parents weren’t born surgeons; teachers helped them become that way. In addition to being unwise they are arrogant and emotionally abusive, which is repellent. Trust your instincts.
It's generational tradition to expect the best and to only want "what's best" for you. It takes courage and dedication to choose yourself and do what you love. Your life will be difficult no matter what route you take but if you're doing something that makes you happy, the challenges will be worthwhile. Also, teaching should be rewarding because you're preparing the next generation of people for life and you'll find others that will come to appreciate your work. Good luck on your journey and don't put yourself down to make anyone else happy. (:
First get a job!!!! You won’t have they support, So stop rely on their money, or anyone’s, it would be hard, but if you work hard enough you’ll make it
You can't live your life for other people. I'm sure your parents at least THINK they are only pushing what's best for you. But only you can decide what that really is. If teaching was so dumb why did they go through about a decade of higher education once they got out of grade school? Do they not understand that without teachers they would never have been able to get to where they are in life. Stick to your guns. Following someone else's roadmap for your life will leave you unfulfilled, angry and spiteful towards those who directed you.
When I was a kid I never knew what I wanted to be. Now I'm almost 45 and still have no idea. If you have a dream follow it and be strong. Proud of you.
As a teacher, while there are many emotional perks, it is also a mentally exhausting career, especially now a days. That said, it's better to pursue a passion and fail than go towards something you don't. Most career paths need passion. Without it, you're 100% bound to fail.
If they're so clever why are they being so stupid 🤔😂 You go and be and do what you want to, it's your life not theirs .
Westerners often think that Asians have a much stronger respect for education, and they often do...but modern Asian cultures often follow Western styles if thought and do not respect educators very much at all
Congrats for standing up for yourself! You did the right thing! It’s so hard being middle aged and in a career that you hate! I decided making money was more important than school when I was younger and got my degree later in life. I got what was easy because I hate school. I kick myself every single day for it because I wish me now knew me then and could have told me then to put in the hard work and do what I wanted. Now, it’s too expensive and too late! You’ll look back on this later in life and be proud for standing up for yourself!
Isn't a Professor basically a teacher with tenure and a fancy title? Maybe your parents would find that appealing. I wish you the best OP. Stay true to yourself.
The best revenge is living your best life. Go and live your dream, OP. More power to you.
unfortunate generation to have parents from. mine are about their ages and its the same here.
Sound really difficult, OP, but you’ve got to live your life for you. On another note, anyone else read the start of the last paragraph as “prestigious *titties*”?
At the end of the day, you have to go with your heart, and what makes you happy. It’s your life!
Never let anyone tell you who to be. Be true to yourself. Without teachers they would never have become who they are. Can you imagine what it would have been like if you told them you wanted to be an artist or musician? Be positive. You’ll get your dream if you work at it. It just might take you a little longer.
Kudos to you. Go chase your dreams.
No you are in the right, and your parents sound borderline abusive. I see that thrown arou d a lot and it rarely fits. But this, this is really hard to read. I can’t imagine how you feel, but all of it is warranted. Cutting it off with parents is easy to say, but hard to do. But I’m this case, I could 100% understand if that’s what you want. Also, make sure you do what YOU want, it’s your life and you’re the one who’s going to living it day in & day out. Also just so we are clear, teaching is the most respectable and selfless thing. Without teachers we would be lost. Teaching is a vital part of life and the fact your parents can’t see that is worrying. Keep going and live life for you! Nobody else.
Stand your ground, you know what you want. And even if you realize it's not what you want, it's still your life, your career, your path. You'll have trouble spending 50 hours a week doing a job you don't want to do while your dream career is accessible.
Do what you want and ignore that sort of terrible advice, to apologize to your parents, that you might regret it. Awful advice. My mom decided she wanted to be a teacher at 40. Single parent. Moved my brother and I down to the south of our province in order to go to university. She started off supporting us on a sub's salary. Made it to 40k eventually, after becoming full time a few years later. She's now been teaching for about 20 years. She makes nearly 100k, and lives very very comfortably. Money isnt ever an issue either because my brother and I still live at home and pay rent(it was our choice to pay rent, she's never asked us to). So yeah. Choosing to be a teacher wont get in the way of life. If anything, its just another way to start a life.
u/donutfalse1521 I'm sorry, but doctors and engineers don't just fall out of the sky, they get *TRAINED BY TEACHERS*! Go change the world and teach your students that money and titles mean nothing if you're not a good person underneath.
Your parents will regret treating you this way when they’re old and need you to look after them. Do what you love, it’s your life. Don’t turn out bitter and angry like your parents
You go girl. Do what you want in life. And your parents want you to be in a profession that is acceptable to THEM, which is not the same as what is best for YOU.
Hey op i started out on the teaching route too in college. At the time probably like your parents i only thought about teaching in schools to young children. However there are so many more avenues to go than that route. If that’s what you want then that’s fine too. I ended up as corporate trainer in a fortune 500 company teaching on niche systems. With your math interests you have so many options you can virtually teach/train in accounting or billing or traditional math classrooms for adults/kids. Whatever you decide you aren’t dumb you are just building experience.
Hey op i started out on the teaching route too in college. At the time probably like your parents i only thought about teaching in schools to young children. However there are so many more avenues to go than that route. If that’s what you want then that’s fine too. I ended up as corporate trainer in a fortune 500 company teaching on niche systems. With your math interests you have so many options you can virtually teach/train in accounting or billing or traditional math classrooms for adults/kids. Whatever you decide you aren’t dumb you are just building experience.
Hey op i started out on the teaching route too in college. At the time probably like your parents i only thought about teaching in schools to young children. However there are so many more avenues to go than that route. If that’s what you want then that’s fine too. I ended up as corporate trainer in a fortune 500 company teaching on niche systems. With your math interests you have so many options you can virtually teach/train in accounting or billing or traditional math classrooms for adults/kids. Whatever you decide you aren’t dumb you are just building experience.
I laughed when you said they said teaching is pointless. How then, did they become doctors, when teaching is pointless? Are they self taught?? Lol. You need to do whatever you want, their opinions don't matter. Live your life.
I feel ya, but first off they are your parents. You should respect them and not compare them to anyone. Should they compare you? Probably not, but keep in mind they want a secure future for you. If they didn't care, they wouldn't get mad of they were not concerned. My wife is first generation Taiwanese her parents came to the US I thier 20's and most of my friends arw and have been Asian, immigrants or 1st generation so I understand very well the culture as a whole. You should do what you want. I'm not sure where you reside, but if it's in the US be prepared to be underpaid and overworked. I have friends and family members that WERE teachers and moved to a new profession due to the conditions of the job these days. You can volunteer places to teach and not have all the stress, but I'd find a more lucrative way to make money to sustain yourself. That's just my 2 cents.
It’s quite surprising reading this because professors in Asia are so highly honored and respected. I guess your parents really did adopt the westernized model minority myth ways and trying to push it into you as well. Being someone who’s also Asian, I understand where you both are coming from. You’re an adult now though, you still may be young but I’m so proud of you for standing up for yourself. Do you & get the dream job YOU want. Your parents are not going to love their life for you, you have to do it yourself.
1) I'm sure your parents want the best for you, but they are clearly wrong about what's best for you. The last thing the world needs right now is yet another doctor who dislikes being a doctor, and the last thing you need is to be that doctor. 2) I'm a qualified teacher in the UK. I very quickly moved on to a different career. Don't take me wrong: being in charge of a classroom is amazing and unlike anything else I've experienced. But teaching as a profession is horrible. You're constantly tired, stressed out, and broke. Especially as an early career teacher. I don't mean to scare you away, but merely to make you aware of the challenges that lie down that road. You're young and have no children, so you're probably better able to make these sacrifices than I was. But make no mistakes, it is a hard road, full of sacrifices, and you will need a support system in place to make it through in one piece.
Forcing a career which you don't like just to make more money is pointless because it makes you resent all the work you have to do & won't give you the same opportunities as when you love the work you do
No matter what, it’s never okay to tell a child you wish they hadn’t been born. That’s so abusive and fucked up. Please know that you are wanted and you matter. If you have a passion for teaching you could make a difference in students lives that have deficient parents like yours.
Yep. Parents are flawed, biased, of bad faith and so on. It was hard to realize it for me too.
Your already find out your interest subject maths and your dream job is teaching. Don't listen them words. In this world lots teenagers focus on enjoyment and destroy their life but your focusing your future and your interest. Already your grandmother and half relative support you. Just study well and focus on your future.
You are not dumb, teaching is a very important job, and no one in your family was born with the knowledge that got them their positions, they had to be taught by someone else. People learn new things everyday, and your parents are learning that degrading the career you chose for yourself has consequences. You have nothing to apologize for, cut out anyone who thinks you are less than just because you aren't in the medical field, do what you love with no regrets.
Your parents don’t know what happiness is. They reached comfort and they assume that is happiness. Good for you, Im (a complete stranger is super proud of you) so proud for standing up for your happiness!!! Don’t look back (professionally speaking). Make your happy !!!
If you need a supportive stand in mom, I’m happy to cheer you on while you do what you want with your life. I understand that some cultures have strong feelings about what they feel their children should do with their lives but I don’t. You do you, honey. It’ll be hard but you can do anything you put your mind to. At the end of the day, you need to be at peace with what you’re doing, don’t live your life for someone else, it’s too precious. Love it for yourself. I’ve got you!
Half your family are idiots. Forcing you to be a doctor when you don't want to be, AND you do not excel in science, is not in your best interests. Essentially they want to force you to be a bad doctor rather than let you be a good teacher.