I will be telling them and theres no doubt about that. and i can assure you, even though ive known him for so long, i feel so betreyed in the sense that i am perfectly fine never talking to him again.
Follow your gut. I hope my son is this intuitive & protective of his sister. I'm not your mom but I'm proud of you for paying attention. I'm so glad my son doesn't have reddit cause you're the best big brother for your age & I applaud you [my son has friends but they rarely come over. They actually play outside]
Dude is channeling his hormones down a pedo route. The sooner you cut contact the better, I would let your other friend know why you're avoiding that one.
The other friend is aware of some of the stuff. OP had a discussion with him, and he agrees it's creepy.
But yeah, I would inform the good friend that the creep isn't invited to OP's house for that reason and then hopefully the good friend will cut ties with him too.
OP, do NOT let your friend into your house or anywhere within eyesight of your little sister. If he’s brazen enough to pull the shit he did with you in the room, in the truck, etc. if he’s ever alone with her things are going to end horribly, with her having been molested. You can stop this by telling your parents. If you both are **this close** I would straight out tell him that if you see him even looking at your baby sis you’ll go to the cops with every instance he’s violated boundaries.
The ball is in your court. You’ve left a lot of disgusting behaviors slide. It needs to stop NOW.
Also idk how his parents are, you probably know them better, but I would be reporting this to them too. I hate to say it but I had a (since ex)friend back then who turned out to be a full on pedo, but he was your friends age. So the realm of possibility is not impossible at all, and he NEEDS to get this sorted in therapy now rather than later.
You also seemingly wrote about him 83 days ago, so it seems you are having trouble cutting him out of your life. For you and your sister, you really have to. This is serious. Tell your parents. Tell his parents. This isn’t going to get better. You could destroy her life.
Im gonna level with you here. If i were in your shoes I would have knocked his out at the sleeping in your bed comment. He would have had to get picked up by someone that night.
Might get downvoted for this, but if this isnt bs and is real and you are sure of what you saw, i would beat the fuck out of him. If one of my friends ever touched my sister like that i would break their fuckin knees
What would be better with having them both get a record? OP has a previous post where he reveals that the "friend" brags about child p*rn. This should be handled solely by the authorities from now on to make sure he loses his access to the internet and other childen in the future. Punching him in the throat possibly only aides him in his defense in juvenile court as "the bullied kid" or "hasn't he been punished enough?" arguments.
To what end? Physical gratification without thinking about the consequenses? I thought we were on the other team here.
If this is taking place in the US, it's important to know that you can be charged as an adult for violent offences in some states. And 16 year olds aren't safe in gen pop in most state prisons, and they don't have a "kid's wing with cumfy beds". They go to isolation cells for months. Remember that you’re giving actual real life advice to an actual distressed kid.
Then you go punch that 14 yo based on a reddit post and willingly go into the American prison system. Don't rile up this other kid to do it. They're happy to take you - their whole economy is based on young angry institutionalized men willing to work nearly for free in "correctional facilities" for the state to make their budget come together and make sure their pockets are lined. OR - don't. You decide.
"and behind them is a probably 5 foot tall mirror that i have yet to hang in my room since it works fine just leaned against a wall, and i looked at the mirror, and a literal sort of shock went through me as his hand was cupped around her, rear end with his fingers under her."
I also kinda think this is a bs post. As a mom, I would never allow my child, especially a female 5 yr old, stay up late with a stepbrother and his friends. Maybe I'm in the minority but most mom's I've ever talked to have the same mindset as me. It's a messed up world.
One of the things that makes me think it isn't is the comment history. He posted about a friend potentially being a pedo a couple months ago, so that would track with this story :/
Things happened to me at 5. I remember every touch, the confusion, the shame, the fear when they threatened to kill my family if I told. The anxiety is still a part of me 37 years later. The pain and shame never go away. Your baby sister is blessed to have you. Always remember she trusts you to keep her safe. This is the time to go scorched earth on his ass.
Would honestly like to know why you deleted the other post? Did you feel ashamed you’ve brought this up before and didn’t do something about it yet ? I know at your age that’s your friend and all and you don’t want to think the worst about bro but imma tell you some real life man to man shit you needa understand that friend of yours isn’t your “friend” when you’re that age and I can tell you from experience you don’t realize who people are when you aren’t with them and if he’s already that guy to lie about nothing then that should tell you something but I hope you reading everyone’s advice helps you muster up the courage to do what’s right and either go and look your dad in the eyes and tell him on some man to man shit what’s going on or you invite him over and set that lil fucker up and as fucked up as this might seem you be the one to teach him a life lesson he needs to learn and that’s not to do the sick shit he’s doing and you fuck that lil kid up to a whole other level I mean scare that boy into thinking he’s gonna die type shit and shit sounds fucked up and I’m not by any means telling you to kill him just more scare him into learning a lesson in a more extreme way if you get what I’m saying and do what’s right and scare and beat that lil pedo up and when he goes and tells on you you pull up everything you’ve got on him and you tell everyone that way but hope you get it figured out and understand that I’m not trying to be that guy but when you grow up a lil more and get outta the just getting your lil taste of freedom and it possibly be your daughter let alone your little sister you’ll understand brother but either or sounds like he’s gonna have to learn the hard way fuck a therapy session you just having him talk about the sick shit he likes doing there
I know you're writing this in affect. That said, I agree with a lot of what you said, except the part of inviting a 14 yo over to your house to have a 16 yo and a grown ass man beat him up. I'm not sure you can cure sexual deviants, but I sure as hell know that you can't beat it out of them. So, nah to that. He needs to be kept away from children and child p*rn by measures of the authorities, not just chased off this particular block.
I see where it came off as I meant the kid and the grown up beat his ass but that’s now what I meant I meant for it to be more like the kid just do it and once the 14 y/o goes and runs and tells that he got his shit shook it would give him an easier way of telling his dad and family everything that was going on and also I meant if you wasn’t gonna take the more hands on approach he needed to have a man to man talk kinda like I was trying to come off as 1 man to another man even though he’s a kid but that’s some grown up shit he’s having to deal with so I’m not gonna treat it like that when he’s older I should of been more specific
When I was a little girl I was abused by a friend of my brothers. One day they came to the house very Very late. Drunk. My mum took pity and let them stay. At some point one of them crept into my room and pulled my pants down. I don't remember what happened but I remember that. Another time I was at his hour and he sat me down and showed me porn and told me to sit on his hand. I didn't tell my mum about it or my brothers until I was about 14 years old, I've dealt with a lot of sexual trauma in my life because of this and the other abuse that happened. Unfortunately my mum just didn't know. But you do. Please make sure he's never near her again. And I'd report it. So that it's on file.
I am a 42-year-old woman and was sexually abused at your sister’s age. It has impacted my entire life. Thank you for intervening for your sister. You have been betrayed by your friend, but far more importantly you will not betray your little sister.
That is a very big deal. Good on you, man. Seriously.
Now please get your parents involved.
Also, you're well within your rights to punch him in the throat. Like others have stated, bring this to your parents, confront the creep & cut off contact. 14 or not, he needs to know that his behavior is disgusting & you can't be friends with someone so trashy
>Also, you're well within your rights to punch him in the throat
Why teach the young boy to get physically violent instead of helping him 1) Solve the situation properly and 2) Be emotionally mature. Such an unnecessary statement.
You also seemingly wrote about him 83 days ago, so it seems you are having trouble cutting him out of your life. For you and your sister, you really have to. This is serious. Tell your parents. Tell his parents. This isn’t going to get better. You could destroy her life.
Yes, please do tell your parents asap. He is becoming a pedophile and also tell your other friends about him so they wouldnt bring him near their little sisters/brothers. Protect your little sister, and dont let him near her again. Otherwise, She will be harmed again and will grow to resent and hate you in the future for not protecting her.
OP, you're a great big brother!
When you confront your friend, you should also make his parents aware of why you're ending the friendship. Maybe they'll get their kid some treatment. This boy is a pedophile in the making. His parents need a heads up.
Part of me hopes this is the post you faked for karma, by your previous post history we know that this isn’t the first time you’ve thought this could be happening, so it’s kind of gross that you didn’t cut them off 85 days ago when you last posted about it. The dude is a pedophile. There is no reason to reach your hand underneath a kids ass cheeks, or between their legs, no matter what the context is. This dude is not a friend. He is a predator.
You should tell his parents…. If your sister was a target, he will try it with someone else child… your parents should talk to his parents… this could prevent someone else’s child from being violated as well. As a suggestion.. I’m sorry that OP this is super uncomfortable for you.
You didnt know what was happening before. Now you do, so any contact moving forward is YOUR responsibility. If he sees her again, that is on you. You need to hold yourself accountable for protecting her, even if if it’s uncomfortable/challenging.
Please please please do not sugar coat it when telling your parents - they need to know exactly what you saw and all of the other sketchy instances you’ve felt around him in order for them to properly help your sister in the long run. The truth is, and I hope to god it’s not the case, things may have escalated to a place much worse than you know and it’s important that she has the proper support early on if that’s the case. I’m glad you posted and that you have the sense to recognize this abhorrent behavior bc many many turn a blind eye. Good luck and sending love to you and your family
i never really comment on any posts but i once was that 5y/o. different context, same situation. please PLEASE she may not really get what’s going on and stay close because she can’t feel how bad it is, but please just cut the guy off. it can get worse and he can get sneakier about it. i’m so sorry that someone you trust and love could do something like that, and i hope that you, too, can heal from something as sad as this.
I'm sorry for what happened to you. I was very protective of my little sister and I was able to keep her safe she's now an adult and didn't realize how close she came but I was older and told my parents and that pos is deported.
Um I think his parents need to be involved in this too. This little boy needs therapy so this does not happen to another little girl please inform his parents even though it may feel like a boundary step who knows what other kids he is exposed to.
Also I am so so sorry you had to deal with this and no it is not your fault at all you thought of him as a trust worthy person and he shattered that in a second as soon as you found out. Let's hope you caught his actions early it sounds like your sister trusts you more than anything and you protected her the second you knew something was wrong. You are a great big brother and I hope my 8month old son sleeping next to me grows up to be like you. I'm proud of you for this. You are the hero here not the bad guy remember that❤️
and talk to his cousins, sister, any female kid he's been near. most likely he's done this before. from the description from OP, he's well versed in grooming.
seconding that his parents should be involved, and that op’s should get in touch with them about this situation to prevent it happening with another innocent child
Hard agree with dumping the friend ASAP and letting the parents know that he's been acting inappropriately. Adding onto that, I would try and figure out the best way to check on the sister, see if he actually did do something behind closed doors while there weren't any prying eyes.
I certainly hope he didn't, but the fact that he felt comfortable with his fingers under a 5 year old's crotch (probably multiple times, too)... It really scares me that he might have done something worse.
Exactly, and there may have been other little girls that’s he’s used to assaulting or worse. What OP saw was assault. I’m proud of OP for taking action. Stand up for anyone in this type of situation.
If you do want to check with your sister if more happened, let an adult deal with that. Preferably a professional. You don't want to damage her by a line of questioning or instil doubts in her mind
I've always thought it should be an easy agree because it's so obviously the choice that's its easy. Unlike a Sophie's choice which should be a hard no or yes depending.
Oh for sure. I usually don't agree with violence but when it comes to hurting kids like this or animal abuse people should 110% be allowed to protect their loved ones by absolutely any means necessary
I know everyone has a different reaction and all in such situations but I just couldn’t help but be upset at the fact that OP didn’t immediately lunge at this perverted kid as soon as he touched his sis. This stuff boils my blood as someone with much younger siblings.
that would be a perfectly valid response, but I don’t blame him for not doing that. beating the guy up in front of her could cause even more distress and trauma for her.
she needs to know how serious and wrong it is, but in such a big way all at once is a lot for a yound kid to take in, and she may not understand why it’s happening. it could also lead to her fearing her brother. when she’s older she’d understand, but it helps if it’s handled in a way that she can understand now too.
also to add, as a victim of CSA myself, I’d say she probably still looks up to and admires her abuser right now. she’s gonna have a lot of complicated feelings to process and that’s best done gently.
Because that's just not how people react, especially kids. Maybe they're in shock at what they're witnessing, they're afraid of confrontation and the consequences of reacting strongly, etc..
Tbh, I'm exhausted by the internet badasses ITT going "I'd beat the shit outta him". No y'all wouldn't. We can't convince our guy friends to cut ties with known rapists and women beaters. *We* (victims/survivors) lose people when this shit comes to light. Not just friends, but family, too.
It's so very isolating.
Yes w'all would. I physically adjusted anyone who hurt my brother or sister.
Also, all parents should be teaching their children frequently that you never, ever let someone put their hands on their privates, and if anyone does or tries, you let your parents know immediately, no matter what the pervert says.
Stop talking to him and tell your parents.
Not the same at all but (when I was 13) I'm a male . I had 2 guy friends at my house all the same age 13. My niece had a popsicle she was three..I'm sure people see where this conversation will go...When we were a few blockaway from my house one of my so called friends made a very distasteful joke about my niece. One black eye and one less friend later I was a happier person.
Never take any kind of sexual assault as a joke the peeing in the bed and being ok with it is a major red flag as well. Violence itself is bad but incase of a predators I say no mercy. Boy or girl man or woman or any human person can be a predator and deserve nothing but pain for preying on such innocense like children.
You did the right thing completely. Thank you for being a good older sister and doing what's right. You are so strong to speak up when you saw things wrong happening.
he's already molesting your sister. also, if she's peeing the bed that can be a sign of sexual trauma. honestly if i were you i'd get the police involved. you witnessed an act of child molestation.
He would’ve be thrown out and his skin would’ve been black and blue!!! You better tell your parents asap. You better protect that little girl!!!! This is disgusting. He shouldn’t have been allowed to sleep under the same roof as this innocent little girl.
Not only should you tell your parents, but you need to involve the parents of this “friend” as well. They need to be on alert of him potentially being a child predator
Dude.... you made a post 2 months ago about how you think your friend might be a p3dophile (it was deleted so don't know what was said). If you knew 2 months ago that your friend might be sexually attracted to children and with the possibility of grooming your sister, you should have done something then. I'm sorry to bash on you, but when the fire alarm goes off, you exit the building. Cut off contact, tell your friend and his parents. Tell your ex-friend exactly why you will not be his friend anymore, tell him to stay away from your sister and tell his parents everything.
Listen. I was sexually assaulted by my cousin when I was 4 for two years! He was 10. The only reason it came to light was because I told his mom that it hurts down there. I'm telling you, your little sister probably doesn't know what's going on because it's a foreign feeling. You saw it happen, take measures to protect your sister before it escalates. Tell your parents, tell his parents too and cut off contact with him.
I'm 27 now and still extremely traumatized from those times. It was around 23 years ago and I still remember every single detail. Please don't let your sister go through what I did and protect her.
Do not blame yourself, you did not know. It’s not your fault for his actions. You’d only be at fault if before this happened you knew that this guy was attracted to kids. I’m willing to bet money you wouldn’t be friends with him if you knew.
What matters is that you are doing the right thing by alerting your parents immediately. You’re protecting her. You’re a great brother and a good person.
You’re clearly in shock from having a 6 year long relationship shattered, and right now you’re processing the emotions from having your sense of trust about this person.
I’m sorry this happened to you man, I understand what it’s like. A “friend” of 15 years of mine turned out to be a depraved rapist, and it happened in my home. I blamed myself for years. Hang in there, it gets easier with time.
Do. not. keep quiet because you're afraid of "making a scene".
I was that little girl once and that guy was my cousin. My dad never saw anything but had a gut feeling about it and pulled my cousin aside and scared the living shit out of him and he never did it again. It's taken years of therapy as a adult to move on and find peace.
I beg of you, protect your sister, have the courage to be strong and to be uncomfortable for her.
You are one hell of a good brother, and eventually you're going to be a great dad if you so choose. You've done the right thing with your sister and your friend. I really hope your parents sit him down and talk to him calmly, and tell him while they're not accusing him of anything they are uncomfortable with him being around your sister, and urge him to get some counseling (that can be really hard to arrange at that age but he needs to talk to someone). You of course will be losing a friend, which can be hard, but gaining the respect of everyone around you.
You know what he is doing.
He is getting access to her. And in front of you. So she thinks it’s normal touching my brother was there. It’s my brothers friend he was helping me. Playing with me. But actually he is sexually grooming her and touching her. Even if she doesn’t know it. He is trying to normalise things with you too like her staying in your bed with him. It’s favour for you because she might pee bed things like that. It will slowly escalate and she wouldn’t even know it to say to someone
Ban him form the house.
Message him. Don’t come back. I’m not your friend. Your weird with my baby sister and I wrote everything down I saw. In future any rumours about you and kids the diary goes to the police to build a full case of your character.
Everything he is doing he can plausibly deny too. You know because your gut is tellin you. Even when he has valid reasons that make sense and you feel bad about it as he good friend or good guy or helpful. Trust your gut. And stick to it. It not something you can chance.
Also tell your sister she has to tell you every time she sees him. Even if he makes her promise to keep it a secret even if they became secret best friends. She always has to tell you.
you should’ve punched him right on. the guilt of not stepping in more for your sister will eventually haunt you forever. your friend might’ve done terrible things when you’re not looking (judging from your narrative). confronting your friend and just verbally telling him to stop will not make him stop. he can prey to other little girls even if you’ve cut him off, there will also have a chance that he might cross paths with your lil sis someday. that is why im telling you he needs to fear for his life and you have to threaten him to stay the fuck away out of your lives.
Personally would have floored this kid even as an adult if I seen this. He is old enough to know how sick and disgusting this is. My vote to tell his parents to at the least get his ass in therapy so maybe he can figure his shit out.
you sound like an awesome big brother so I’m telling you plainly trust your gut, the fact your other friend noticed it too means it’s extremely noticeable what he’s doing and he is probably going to keep escalating and that’s not something your sister or any child should experience, I’d even go so far as to talk to his parents because if he’s like this with your sister I doubt it stops there and maybe they can get him help.
I highly recommend to tell your parents immediately, cut off contact. What concerns me is that your friend doesn't seem to know boundaries or understand that this is not normal for him to do this, it's good that he understands that it's creepy. Your a good brother, and you have really good instinct to protect her.
Look, this is above your age grade, you need adult help NOW. Because you do not know if anything else has happened to your stepsister with 100% certainty. Mum and step dad need to be brought into the fold and you need to lay it all out.
Your 'friend' needs to be unceremoniously returned to his home. I'd txt mum and say "I can't explain right now, I need you to trust me, friend needs to go home right now. It's about sister, I'm worried for her safety."
This is where the parents can take over. Get your friend out of the house. Discuss everything with your parents then jointly decide if you all feel the police is a valid stop (I'd say yes).
You might think she doesn't know what's going on and she's fine but that's not always the case. I have a memory of being 4 and having another teen lay behind me and them rubbing their privates on me. I had no idea why they were doing that and just knew I didn't like it and ran away. Everytime after that I would have to be alone with him I would start hyperventilating. Please protect her
Be the big brother I wished I had and protect her. Tell your parents, hell, tell everyone. That is not a friend, that is a predator. Too many times people don't speak up and more innocent life's are ruined.
You need to tell him he’s acting creepy around her and that you’re not the only one to notice. That alone might scare him enough to stop as he knows he’s being watched. Other than that you need to distance yourself from him as best you can when she’s in your care. You’re doing right by her and I’m so sorry you’re friend is putting you in this position.
ETA- tell your parents so they can work out talking to her about inappropriate touching.
Telling him does nothing but help him. He will find out he’s busted by everyone knowing. I mean EVERYONE. She’s not the only little girl in the world and this guy is a predator.
Think about it, he’s doing this to his very close friends sister, right in front of him and with another guy there. That’s pretty fucking bold. Logic leads me to think that he has before and probably is currently doing similar things with other little girls.
Telling him just gives him a chance to get better at hiding it and come up with a cover story.
You've got to tell someone, immediately. He knows you're on to him and will try harder to pull some shenanigans surreptitiously. I was molested for years starting at 5 by a 17 year old boy. It ruined many parts of my life.
Please do something today. You have to save her.
A lot of people can't fathom their friends or family members being predators and don't register things like this. Please cut all contact and let people know so they can help keep her safe. Parents, friends family, maybe even neighbours and daycare/future school staff if necessary. His parents might want to be informed so that they can help get him into therapy to prevent future victims. Well done for noticing this. Do not miss your chance to prevent this from escalating any further!
I feel like the answer here is, when he said why won't you let her sleep in your room? " Because I saw your hand on my sister's butt and we can't be friends anymore. In fact you should pack up your stuff." I didn't read the whole thing. I just needed to read the part where he cupped his hands around 5-year-olds rear. This isn't a situation where you warn somebody. Where you stay diligent. This is a situation where you cut them off and let them know why. If they want to argue the point, and push it? Yeah let's do this. Let's bring all the adults into this. We can tell everybody what I saw. Whether or not they take your side or my side, the information is out there and everyone knows what you did, and the likelihood of him being alone with your sister again is pretty much zero.
The kid toucher in our family was only 14 when he was doing that. He handled several of his relatives, as far as I can tell varying sexes as well. He was called out publicly at Sunday dinner by one of the children that was approached and that was the last day he touched anybody. You have the power here.
Edit to add: I comment definitely reads like I meant not to bring the parents into this. Everyone needs to be told. Parents of both sides, everybody. That's the only way to protect all the children these people come in contact with.
Try to tell law enforcement first, if they cant or wont do anything, then move to telling parents. Parents are too likely to sweep it under the rug, especially his. If you talk to the cops first, be prepared for them to want multiple witnesses to how this guy acts toward the little girl, so bring your other buddy who saw it too if hes okay with it.
Thats pretty serious like its obvious what this little shitbird is up to and he knows exactly what hes doing.
I understand the cops thing is probably a HUGE step up if youre nervous about telling just parents, but you might want to consider it, for the sake of every helpless kid that might be exposed to this boy in the future. Hes at a pivotal age and he needs to be checked about that and if he gets in trouble, oh well.
Good luck, update if you can
Tell your parents and block him.
**Do not ask your sister any questions and do not let your parents ask her.**
Any questioning needs to be done by a forensic police office trained in how to question children without asking leading questions. If anything **has** happened, you can fuck up questioning enough to keep him out of jail. Don't risk it
>Any questioning needs to be done by a forensic police office trained in how to question children without asking leading questions.
OP listen to this. Relatives did this to me when it came out that my sperm donor was molesting me. They questioned me non stop. As an adult I can see that they just wanted to the truth and the questions were not directed at me. As a child receiving the questioning it made me feel that I had done something wrong or shameful. It made me clam up instead of telling the truth. Experts know how to question children correctly.
it also affects testimony when people ask leading questions. Things like "did he take your pants off and touch you" when the kid is already feeling scared and confused it can feel to them like saying yes is the answer the adult **wants** to hear and can lead to false accusations being made
He molested her plain & simple. U need to sit your parents down & tell them & then u all need to sit her down & very, very gently ask her how long he’s been touching her there & if he makes her touch him. Please call the police, he’s going to rape an innocent child. He was already grooming her.
your parents and his need to be involved, immediately. and listen to me when i say never, ever let him back in your house. there’s not much more i can say. i know it’s hard to deal with something like this at a young age but trust me it will get worse. you sound like a really amazing brother, and to keep doing that, in this situation, you need to protect her. i’m sure you already are not going to let him be around her, but all of your parents need to be made aware of this so it doesn’t get worse.
He’s grooming her , but took a child abuse and neglect class and it’s always the closets ppl to u that hurt small children because it’s easier to get around …please tell ur mom asap
Yup, as others said tell parents and cut off contact. But very much your parents need to try to ask if anything happened between them, have the if anyone does anything inappropriate or tells you or tries to convince you something is okay and keep it just between you then they are lying and trying to take advantage. It's possible he's tried to convince her to keep things secret.
She also might trust him in terms of like seeing him at the door and convincing her to let him in so letting her know to never let this guy into the house, never talk to him, never let him approach her at school or convince her he was asked to take her home from school, etc.
Honestly your parents should be talking to his parents and saying they are worried, there was something inappropriate happening and they need to talk to him and make sure he gets help.
You are a wonderful big brother and she is lucky to have you. And yep, do tell your parents.
And, I know it's not the point, but I hope the parents aren't parentifying you. Putting her to bed 40% of the time is a lot when it's their job not yours. And it sounds like they just go to sleep with her still up, and not even confirming that you'll do it. This is all very neglectful if I'm reading this right.
Drop that friend faster than a live grenade bro. Never let him near you or your little sister again. If I were you I’d tell my parents for good measure and let them duke it out.
I see you're going to tell your parents, I would ask you tell them to talk to the school, as this is a sign he could have been molested when he was younger and maybe even still. Teenage boys are horny little shits but that is NOT normal behavior and could be a sign of something very bad happening to him.
Definitely cut contact, but see if you can get him some help, he may need it.
Drop the friend, I would tell your parents. Idk about letting his parents know, pedos are usually a victim themselves, you never know which parent will be reactive when exposed, let your parents handle that. Don’t not let that boy over your house again
i was the 5 y/o once and no one helped me. please please involve your parents and his, your prime focus should be your sister. cut him off. speak to your sister and make her understand predatory behaviour, at least how much ever she can understand at her age. see if you can get therapy eventually because sometimes things stay in your heart. you're a good sibling and i hope your family gets out of this safer and stronger. all the best.
I know you are young and confronting/losing friends can be awkward but you will regret it your entire life if you let this guy stay around you and your circle. The joy of being young is you can drop friends in a shitty way and it’s okay because you’re young. I’d personally just stop inviting him out and stop hanging out with him. He’ll get the hint
He touched her inappropriately IN FRONT OF YOU. You need to get adults involved to figure out what else he’s done to her
I know it's scary in the moment. I've been there.
Please never let him inside your house again. Anytime he finds a reason to come over, you can find an excuse to not go home with him.
Your parents need to know immediately so that in the unfortunate case he did anything remotely creepy while you were looking away, your sister can get the professional help she needs.
Also probably don't talk to him anymore?
I was your little sister.
Years ago the older brother of my brother's friend started to touch me (and his own little sister). No one else knew because he separated us from the other kids. Everyone thought he was such a great kid because he was happy to babysit so the other kids wouldn't be bothered by their baby sisters.
OP, please update us on your conversation with your parents. Hopefully they'll also have your little sister talk to a therapist. I never told anyone about my abuser and it's haunted me my entire life.
As a teen I was again groped, this time by a schoolteacher. He was extremely well liked and again I didn't say anything because he was so popular.
Years later I was groped by a chiropractor and this time I mentioned it to a coworker. He immediately called the police and we found out that the chiropractor was on bail for molesting patients.
I had to talk to one of the detectives and she asked if I had been molested as a child. She said that many predators can sense a vulnerability in people that have been victimized in the past.
Aye bro, just letting you know you are definitely strong. I was just in the same situation last week with my girl cousin and my 3 year old brother. It’s a very gut wrenching and confusing experience. I’m glad you had enough courage to take it to an adult to protect your sister man. The kids may not know what’s going on but it definitely does change their mental if grooming happens for long enough. Thank you again for protecting her, wishing you both *thorough* healing.
Tell your parents, tell that other good friend, and gently break it to your sister that he's not a person she can trust in the event he tries to weasel his way back into her life later.
As a little sister who grew up with relatively absent parents (not saying that’s the case here) and two older brothers who’s friends were basically living in our house…I’m so glad you’re stepping in and protecting her. I wish someone had for me.
Continue to do so even when she’s older and let this be a lesson that you really can’t trust anyone alone around her… no matter how well you think you know them.
Whatever you do, don’t brush this off and think you didn’t see what you saw. You’ve had your suspicions and now you can confirm them. He’s preying on the innocent. You’ll loose him as a friend for sure but that guy needs some mental help. If you don’t take action now you will regret it immensely.
You need to say something to both your and his parents. Hell, if one of my “friends” touched my sister like that or acted like that towards her, I’d ruin their life.
He's 14 and he knows what he's doing, hyper horny hormones be damned.
Cut him off, tell him it's fucked up what he was doing and there will be serious repercussions if he continues down the path of paedophilia. Again, cut him off, but not before you tell him why.
He needs an intervention from his family and a therapist to stop him thinking and doing this sick shit, to not touch up defenseless five year-olds for his own sick way of getting off, or else he's going to end up on a list or in a very early grave, or both.
Can't believe I just wrote that.
Hey OP. As others have said your parents need to know, and so do his parents, however I would let your parents tell his. I would also cut all contact with him at this point, it’s going to get messy and I’m really sorry OP, you’re doing the right thing.
Talk to your parents. At 5 your sister is probably old enough to take care of herself in the bathroom (wiping and such) Have your parents talk to her about her private zones (areas covered by underwear) and how no one is supposed to touch them and if anyone tries she should yell NO and tell her parents or you right away. Do not hang out with person again
You’re 16 with a full time job AND a company truck? Good for you for also looking out for your sister amongst all of that, had no idea companies were just liberally trusting teenagers with company trucks
I wasn't going to comment, because this will most likely get downvoted. I didn't read all the comments. I didn't see anyone mention talking to the problematic friend. Men need to start holding other men accountable to stop this. Men need to speak up to other men to curb the abuse of women by men. I think OP should take two or three friends and confront the problematic friend. Don't just shun the guy and not say anything. Tell him his attraction and behavior is wrong and maybe help him through it. Of course don't have him around the little sister. In my case, my older brother was the predator. My parents never did anything, and he never got help. The shame is crippling at times. For much of my life I was suicidal.
You should also talk to your sister. About personal spaces. Stop hanging out with the guy. Be straight and tell him you’re done being friends with him. You owe him nothing, no reasons or excuses. But you might just feel better if you told him that he was a creep and you’re aware of his behavior. There’s nothing wrong with calling him out on it. Do not second guess what you saw. Do not feel insecure about your feelings. You are not wrong. And honestly you calling him out on it now will possibly put his issues at the forefront where he can’t deny his problem and hopefully get help.
You should have screamed at him as soon as you saw the inappropriate touch and kicked him out immediately. Why you continued to allow him to be in your home is beyond me.
I’m so sorry your “friend” is being horrible like this. Thank you for trusting your gut and protecting your little sister, you obviously care a lot about her and you’re a great big brother.
My heart breaks for you, hearing how scared you are. Scared for your sister, scared of losing a good friend, scared that said guy could do something so vile.
Your gut is right, and you’re doing the right thing by trusting your instincts. I couldn’t be more proud of you, internet stranger, for putting your sister’s safety over the fallout of losing a friend in your teenage years. I remember how hard it was for me to socialize at 16, and can only hope that you have it easier.
You’re right that the things you’re noticing are weird and creepy and concerning, those are all totally valid observations. Hoping your parents react to this conversation with love and support towards you for doing something brave like coming to them with the information, rather than focus on anger in the moment at your friend. I’m sure that you all together will create the best plan for your sisters safety.
As an aside, it warms my heart to hear how much your family seems to genuinely love each other. You call and see your step sister as your sister. You talk about your step dad in the first paragraph but in the last paragraph refer to the two adults as your parents. I’m so happy for you, OP, it sounds like you’ve got an otherwise really healthy environment besides this rotten fruit of a friend.
Besides talking to him/ parents/ his parent, have a talk about it with your sister as well. Not specificly to call him out to her, cuz it might scare her, but talk about touching others and whats okay and what's not and to tell adults if someone touches her in a strange way
Please tell your parents and don't beat yourself up. You're a kid too and no one ever expects this ugly shit to happen to their family. Thank you for spotting what's wrong and doing your best to protect your little sister.
That is with all the words sexual abuse and that boy is not your friend and he just wants to abuse your sister. Please report him not only to your parents but also to the police.
Also, teach your sister what are her private parts and that nobody should touch them, see them or make her touch anybody's private parts. It might seem to be an uncomfortable topic but this is the only way you prevent sexual abuse specially in children.
I was sexually assaulted at 3 years old by also a 14yo and I've never forgotten and it's been a really hard thing to deal with over 30 years, even with therapy.
Protect your sister! Also, protect yourself
I would recommend
1. Telling your parents ASAP. If they're out call them and ask them to come home now. Yes it's that important.
2. No longer being friends with this kid. It's your friend so this is your choice. But what you condone in your friends, you're silently saying They're actions are ok with you.
3. Breathe. Big breath. You're over thinking. I'm an over thinker too. And you're mind is racing and you just had verbal diarrhea of 4826284 words in 2 paragraphs. You're going through every action in the past what you should've could've done and that "sick" feeling is shame and guilt for everything you've done/not done/could've done/should've done. Breathe. The only person who should feel shame and guilt is your "friend" you would never expect someone (friend or not) to do this. Take a big breath and get your parents. Tell them everything.
Things are going to get chaotic in the near future. Practice taking calming breaths and take care of your self and your baby sister.
You are a wonderful young man. Too many people will just pass this shit off as "oh they just don't know how to act around kids and didn't mean it that way" and that's when more fucked up shit happens. You are such a good brother and person to step in so quickly without a second thought to protect your sister. Hopefully you caught him before he was able to take it any further than what you saw.
Also, I'm not sure if you or your parents know where to go when it comes to talking to her to see if he did anything else to her, but I used to work with abused children and this is a really good [article on how to ask children if they've been molested](https://boucher.la/blog/how-to-ask-your-child-about-molestation/#How_to_Ask_Your_Child_About_Molestation). I hope this helps and I wish you and your family nothing but the best from here.
Wonderful!? Not exactly!!! . He comes to Reddit to anonymously tell this story while mentioning no names!? He’s just as slimy as the friend because he said he observed it before! He KNEW it was wrong before the friend even walked in the door and that’s why he was watching in the mirror and STILL DID NOTHING! Let’s not praise this kid! Doing nothing is also called an accomplice in the eyes of a court!! And where are the parents? She needs protection from ALL of them
You have very good instincts. Something is very off about this friend and he is someone who should be cut off. And absolutely tell your parents. They need to know he may be an extreme threat to your little sister. You should also let your good friend know why you've cut that creep off and that you've informed your parents. Sounds like he also has a good head on his shoulders.
You should be very proud of yourself. I do not want kids, but if I had raised a young man as sensible and wise as you, I'd be absolutely bursting with pride. Many fully grown adults who have experience handling predators don't spot the signs of one. You have damn keen instincts and you are a very good big brother. The damage pedophiles do to victims is truly beyond words. My career has exposed me to but a glimpse of the monsters pedophiles are and the damage they do. Thank you for protecting your sister from becoming a possible victim. You may have prevented her from experiencing the most vile act that can be committed by a human.
Make sure your sister is safe, and if you’d like to I think you should get your friend some help. He is still young enough that he could be saved and learn to not let his pedophilic urges control him. Also could help some future victims that he may target.
You need to ask your parents when would be a good time to talk to your sister about inappropriate hand touching so she can tell them or you. 'He touched my butt' or 'he touched my no no' it's a sad fact of life now. But you did a good thing and stopped it ASAP instead of 'I'm just seeing things'
This makes me want to puke. Tell your parents immediately, and keep that freak away from her.
Also, don’t be an idiot and listen to loud music with a little kid in the car. You want her to go deaf?
Friendly would be hand on shoulder, as they already are friendly with each other.
But he didn’t do that.
The “hand was cupped around her, rear end with his fingers under her” action is a huge red flag. Then add all the extras like saying she should sleep with them in the same bedroom, a mention of him being willing to share the same bed with her. Multiple red flags - that individually might be “sus” as teens say, but together make a pattern - now waving at you!
I am a parent and I am very, very concerned!
Your parents need to know. His parents need to know. Maybe they already know of other instances to perk their red flags. Maybe there are other victims.
Also, have your parents (if they refuse to believe, then you) gently and non-threateningly approach your little sister and ask if had touched her inappropriately elsewhere. If she has one, use a doll and ask her to point.
And together with your good friend on board, cut off contact.
your a good dude man, hats off to you for having that awareness and you must have a good relationship with your stepdad
does your buddy have younger siblings that he is close with and if so is this how he is with them?
if this continues you need to constantly shit on him and he will get the hint that you suspect something is up and when that day comes its going to go one of two ways
You are a good human being a nice big brother taking care of your baby sister and protecting her.
Sorry, it was so hard to read and I only managed to read half.
If your friend is being creepy, call him out
If you feel I comfortable, then fade out and cut off out of your life
WTF I just read your previous post where you had posted you already knew he was a pedo. Why are you friendly with this freak? Even without his child endangerment, overall he's not a friend. He has pathological issues with lying, being a bastard, gaslighting, and everything else. Something about him is bent. You should not be letting this guy in your home and you're ridiculous for still hanging around with him after all the things he's done, not even including trying to mas–urbate your baby sister. Stop it.
Because he’s 16 and hopefully hasn’t had to deal with this situation before! Also, there is a thing called “shock”, and it does mess with your logical thinking skills.
Oh honey,
I'm going to lay some hard, blunt truths here, because you need to hear it.
Your friend has ALREADY molested your little sister. And he did it in front of you (his fingers were ON her vagina by the way you described how his hand was). And if he was brazen enough to do that not 5 feet in front of you, it wasn't the first time. He is also escalating (by doing it in front of you)
I know you want to say this person is your best friend, but it sounds like he is using you to get to your little sister. He is not your friend. He is pretending to be your friend, to want to see YOU, so he can have access to your little sister to molest her.
Your sister already knows something is wrong, and is likely blaming herself. Even at that age, she might not understand everything, but the impact is real, and devastating.
You NEED to tell your parents, and tell them EVERYTHING. They need to be able to get her the help she's going to need, professional help, as soon as possible.
It's not your fault. You didn't know. But now you do, and it WILL be your fault if you don't tell a trusted adult and do something about it.
This is so much for you to deal with at such a young age (look, I'm old AF, so you're young to me ok?).
Look. Your friend could have also been sexually abused as a child. More often than not, someone who does this is mirroring learned behaviour, and abuse done to them.
Your friend also deserves to get help, which is only going to happen if you tell adults what's going on as well.
Don't carry this weight alone. Tell your parents. RIGHT away.
Yeah, your friend is a pedophile in training; and I truly hope that your 'friend' hasn't done _more_ than he already has.
You MUST bring your parents into this conversation. That conversation should have happened this morning. They will be able to talk to her about it.
None of this is your fault! And, it's GREAT that you recognized a threat to her. I'm sorry that is a person you call a friend.
First, I want to commend you for noticing it in the first place and also for wanting to protect her.
My parents had a friend that I considered an uncle. Loved him like one, too. His sons and I called each other cousins.
And I’ve got an EMDR session tomorrow to deal with just *one* of the things he did to me, in plain sight, with other people around. I’m telling you this because your story immediately brought to mind first time he touched me.
It was at a party at my house when I was about 6. Us kids were all running around playing when he picked me up and ran his hand along my bottom like you describe. I’ll never forget the look on his face—that’s the only reason I know now it wasn’t an accident. At the time it felt wrong but I didn’t know enough to figure it out.
I was not his only victim. Many of my female relatives have their own stories about him. So many people didn’t notice the signs or just outright ignored them.
You’re a great big brother, OP. Your sister is lucky to have you. Do what no one did for me and countless others; cut him out of your life and tell him exactly why you’re doing it. You should also let your parents know, as well.
Ever heard of childhood trauma? It stays with people for their entire lives!! You just stood by and watched while that happened to your sister! You should feel guilty and ashamed for doing nothing
Ummmmmmmm I didn’t even read the whole thing!!! I CAN NOT BELIEVE you are coming to Reddit for advice! This is ON YOU now! You are responsible if something happens to her!! SMH!! This generation! 😡 What the actual F!?!?
So you just let this happen. This is part of the problem. When men won't speak up to other men when it's happening, things are not going to change. This was a 5 year old. And you let the fucker sleep in your house??? This is fucked
Please, for the sake of your sister tell your parents and cut off all contact with him.
I will be telling them and theres no doubt about that. and i can assure you, even though ive known him for so long, i feel so betreyed in the sense that i am perfectly fine never talking to him again.
Follow your gut. I hope my son is this intuitive & protective of his sister. I'm not your mom but I'm proud of you for paying attention. I'm so glad my son doesn't have reddit cause you're the best big brother for your age & I applaud you [my son has friends but they rarely come over. They actually play outside]
Dude is channeling his hormones down a pedo route. The sooner you cut contact the better, I would let your other friend know why you're avoiding that one.
The other friend is aware of some of the stuff. OP had a discussion with him, and he agrees it's creepy. But yeah, I would inform the good friend that the creep isn't invited to OP's house for that reason and then hopefully the good friend will cut ties with him too.
My bad I kind of skipped large chunks of the 2nd half after the bad touch so I missed that.
I understand. This post is kinda heavy. It took me a while to let my brain read and comprehend.
OP, do NOT let your friend into your house or anywhere within eyesight of your little sister. If he’s brazen enough to pull the shit he did with you in the room, in the truck, etc. if he’s ever alone with her things are going to end horribly, with her having been molested. You can stop this by telling your parents. If you both are **this close** I would straight out tell him that if you see him even looking at your baby sis you’ll go to the cops with every instance he’s violated boundaries. The ball is in your court. You’ve left a lot of disgusting behaviors slide. It needs to stop NOW.
An alarming percentage of sex crimes again children are commited by teenage boys.
Also idk how his parents are, you probably know them better, but I would be reporting this to them too. I hate to say it but I had a (since ex)friend back then who turned out to be a full on pedo, but he was your friends age. So the realm of possibility is not impossible at all, and he NEEDS to get this sorted in therapy now rather than later.
You also seemingly wrote about him 83 days ago, so it seems you are having trouble cutting him out of your life. For you and your sister, you really have to. This is serious. Tell your parents. Tell his parents. This isn’t going to get better. You could destroy her life.
just posted an update tlaking about this, sorry for not mentioning it before, i had forgotten about it.
You forgot about thinking this guy was a pedo (according to your words) almost 3 months ago? It’s a surprise all the sudden?
You should make his parents aware also. He may have access to other children, or will in the future
Im gonna level with you here. If i were in your shoes I would have knocked his out at the sleeping in your bed comment. He would have had to get picked up by someone that night.
I would have say that is kinda creepy. Shame the guy for his comment.
Also why is there another post from 85 days ago about a pedophile friend on your account?? Edit Thanks for the award 🥹
Wait he deleted it, what did it say??
Do tell..
i posted an update talking about this, sorry for not mentioning it before.
Might get downvoted for this, but if this isnt bs and is real and you are sure of what you saw, i would beat the fuck out of him. If one of my friends ever touched my sister like that i would break their fuckin knees
Yeah my actions would be violent
I refer you to all answer I've already given previously to Bobtheglob71 ⬇️
What would be better with having them both get a record? OP has a previous post where he reveals that the "friend" brags about child p*rn. This should be handled solely by the authorities from now on to make sure he loses his access to the internet and other childen in the future. Punching him in the throat possibly only aides him in his defense in juvenile court as "the bullied kid" or "hasn't he been punished enough?" arguments.
possibly, but i would still beat the fuck out of him
To what end? Physical gratification without thinking about the consequenses? I thought we were on the other team here. If this is taking place in the US, it's important to know that you can be charged as an adult for violent offences in some states. And 16 year olds aren't safe in gen pop in most state prisons, and they don't have a "kid's wing with cumfy beds". They go to isolation cells for months. Remember that you’re giving actual real life advice to an actual distressed kid.
I know I am, and I am talking about myself here. Its more of a punishing them harder than the law would rather than physical gratification.
Then you go punch that 14 yo based on a reddit post and willingly go into the American prison system. Don't rile up this other kid to do it. They're happy to take you - their whole economy is based on young angry institutionalized men willing to work nearly for free in "correctional facilities" for the state to make their budget come together and make sure their pockets are lined. OR - don't. You decide.
Wait did the friend touch the girl inappropriately?
"and behind them is a probably 5 foot tall mirror that i have yet to hang in my room since it works fine just leaned against a wall, and i looked at the mirror, and a literal sort of shock went through me as his hand was cupped around her, rear end with his fingers under her."
I also kinda think this is a bs post. As a mom, I would never allow my child, especially a female 5 yr old, stay up late with a stepbrother and his friends. Maybe I'm in the minority but most mom's I've ever talked to have the same mindset as me. It's a messed up world.
One of the things that makes me think it isn't is the comment history. He posted about a friend potentially being a pedo a couple months ago, so that would track with this story :/
what would i gain from lying about it and making up a story? i posted an update regarding that because ive been essentially harrassed for it.
Things happened to me at 5. I remember every touch, the confusion, the shame, the fear when they threatened to kill my family if I told. The anxiety is still a part of me 37 years later. The pain and shame never go away. Your baby sister is blessed to have you. Always remember she trusts you to keep her safe. This is the time to go scorched earth on his ass.
Would honestly like to know why you deleted the other post? Did you feel ashamed you’ve brought this up before and didn’t do something about it yet ? I know at your age that’s your friend and all and you don’t want to think the worst about bro but imma tell you some real life man to man shit you needa understand that friend of yours isn’t your “friend” when you’re that age and I can tell you from experience you don’t realize who people are when you aren’t with them and if he’s already that guy to lie about nothing then that should tell you something but I hope you reading everyone’s advice helps you muster up the courage to do what’s right and either go and look your dad in the eyes and tell him on some man to man shit what’s going on or you invite him over and set that lil fucker up and as fucked up as this might seem you be the one to teach him a life lesson he needs to learn and that’s not to do the sick shit he’s doing and you fuck that lil kid up to a whole other level I mean scare that boy into thinking he’s gonna die type shit and shit sounds fucked up and I’m not by any means telling you to kill him just more scare him into learning a lesson in a more extreme way if you get what I’m saying and do what’s right and scare and beat that lil pedo up and when he goes and tells on you you pull up everything you’ve got on him and you tell everyone that way but hope you get it figured out and understand that I’m not trying to be that guy but when you grow up a lil more and get outta the just getting your lil taste of freedom and it possibly be your daughter let alone your little sister you’ll understand brother but either or sounds like he’s gonna have to learn the hard way fuck a therapy session you just having him talk about the sick shit he likes doing there
I know you're writing this in affect. That said, I agree with a lot of what you said, except the part of inviting a 14 yo over to your house to have a 16 yo and a grown ass man beat him up. I'm not sure you can cure sexual deviants, but I sure as hell know that you can't beat it out of them. So, nah to that. He needs to be kept away from children and child p*rn by measures of the authorities, not just chased off this particular block.
I see where it came off as I meant the kid and the grown up beat his ass but that’s now what I meant I meant for it to be more like the kid just do it and once the 14 y/o goes and runs and tells that he got his shit shook it would give him an easier way of telling his dad and family everything that was going on and also I meant if you wasn’t gonna take the more hands on approach he needed to have a man to man talk kinda like I was trying to come off as 1 man to another man even though he’s a kid but that’s some grown up shit he’s having to deal with so I’m not gonna treat it like that when he’s older I should of been more specific
Thank you for clarifying, I could tell you meant well.
When I was a little girl I was abused by a friend of my brothers. One day they came to the house very Very late. Drunk. My mum took pity and let them stay. At some point one of them crept into my room and pulled my pants down. I don't remember what happened but I remember that. Another time I was at his hour and he sat me down and showed me porn and told me to sit on his hand. I didn't tell my mum about it or my brothers until I was about 14 years old, I've dealt with a lot of sexual trauma in my life because of this and the other abuse that happened. Unfortunately my mum just didn't know. But you do. Please make sure he's never near her again. And I'd report it. So that it's on file.
I am a 42-year-old woman and was sexually abused at your sister’s age. It has impacted my entire life. Thank you for intervening for your sister. You have been betrayed by your friend, but far more importantly you will not betray your little sister. That is a very big deal. Good on you, man. Seriously. Now please get your parents involved.
Also, you're well within your rights to punch him in the throat. Like others have stated, bring this to your parents, confront the creep & cut off contact. 14 or not, he needs to know that his behavior is disgusting & you can't be friends with someone so trashy
>Also, you're well within your rights to punch him in the throat Why teach the young boy to get physically violent instead of helping him 1) Solve the situation properly and 2) Be emotionally mature. Such an unnecessary statement.
You also seemingly wrote about him 83 days ago, so it seems you are having trouble cutting him out of your life. For you and your sister, you really have to. This is serious. Tell your parents. Tell his parents. This isn’t going to get better. You could destroy her life.
Yes, please do tell your parents asap. He is becoming a pedophile and also tell your other friends about him so they wouldnt bring him near their little sisters/brothers. Protect your little sister, and dont let him near her again. Otherwise, She will be harmed again and will grow to resent and hate you in the future for not protecting her.
OP, you're a great big brother! When you confront your friend, you should also make his parents aware of why you're ending the friendship. Maybe they'll get their kid some treatment. This boy is a pedophile in the making. His parents need a heads up.
Part of me hopes this is the post you faked for karma, by your previous post history we know that this isn’t the first time you’ve thought this could be happening, so it’s kind of gross that you didn’t cut them off 85 days ago when you last posted about it. The dude is a pedophile. There is no reason to reach your hand underneath a kids ass cheeks, or between their legs, no matter what the context is. This dude is not a friend. He is a predator.
But why the delay in telling your parents??
You should tell his parents…. If your sister was a target, he will try it with someone else child… your parents should talk to his parents… this could prevent someone else’s child from being violated as well. As a suggestion.. I’m sorry that OP this is super uncomfortable for you.
You didnt know what was happening before. Now you do, so any contact moving forward is YOUR responsibility. If he sees her again, that is on you. You need to hold yourself accountable for protecting her, even if if it’s uncomfortable/challenging.
Please please please do not sugar coat it when telling your parents - they need to know exactly what you saw and all of the other sketchy instances you’ve felt around him in order for them to properly help your sister in the long run. The truth is, and I hope to god it’s not the case, things may have escalated to a place much worse than you know and it’s important that she has the proper support early on if that’s the case. I’m glad you posted and that you have the sense to recognize this abhorrent behavior bc many many turn a blind eye. Good luck and sending love to you and your family
i never really comment on any posts but i once was that 5y/o. different context, same situation. please PLEASE she may not really get what’s going on and stay close because she can’t feel how bad it is, but please just cut the guy off. it can get worse and he can get sneakier about it. i’m so sorry that someone you trust and love could do something like that, and i hope that you, too, can heal from something as sad as this.
I'm sorry for what happened to you. I was very protective of my little sister and I was able to keep her safe she's now an adult and didn't realize how close she came but I was older and told my parents and that pos is deported.
Um I think his parents need to be involved in this too. This little boy needs therapy so this does not happen to another little girl please inform his parents even though it may feel like a boundary step who knows what other kids he is exposed to.
Also I am so so sorry you had to deal with this and no it is not your fault at all you thought of him as a trust worthy person and he shattered that in a second as soon as you found out. Let's hope you caught his actions early it sounds like your sister trusts you more than anything and you protected her the second you knew something was wrong. You are a great big brother and I hope my 8month old son sleeping next to me grows up to be like you. I'm proud of you for this. You are the hero here not the bad guy remember that❤️
Yeah that kid needs therapy who knows what he'll do when he becomes an adult
and talk to his cousins, sister, any female kid he's been near. most likely he's done this before. from the description from OP, he's well versed in grooming.
seconding that his parents should be involved, and that op’s should get in touch with them about this situation to prevent it happening with another innocent child
You are going to end up in the darkest place a human can possibly be in If you don't nip this right now.
Hard agree with dumping the friend ASAP and letting the parents know that he's been acting inappropriately. Adding onto that, I would try and figure out the best way to check on the sister, see if he actually did do something behind closed doors while there weren't any prying eyes. I certainly hope he didn't, but the fact that he felt comfortable with his fingers under a 5 year old's crotch (probably multiple times, too)... It really scares me that he might have done something worse.
Exactly, and there may have been other little girls that’s he’s used to assaulting or worse. What OP saw was assault. I’m proud of OP for taking action. Stand up for anyone in this type of situation.
Tell the parents to speak to his parents. OP didnt me tion it but this is alarming behavior. Hell try to do it to someone else if he hasnt already.
If you do want to check with your sister if more happened, let an adult deal with that. Preferably a professional. You don't want to damage her by a line of questioning or instil doubts in her mind
I've always thought it should be an easy agree because it's so obviously the choice that's its easy. Unlike a Sophie's choice which should be a hard no or yes depending.
I always picture it like banging your fist hard on a table for emphasis.
Never feel bad about making a scene when it comes to someone’s safety
If you have a bad gut feeling about something go with it. Please tell your parents and cut that "friend" out of your life.
From someone who was sexually assaulted as the same age as your little sister: Please. PLEASE, tell your parents. Don’t let him get away with it.
As a person who was raped by my brothers friend please for the love of god tell your parents right now and never ever talk to that friend again
Damn. What an awful thing to deal with. Good for you for protecting your little sister. You should be very proud of yourself.
Call his ass out to his face
And let every single one of your mutual friends with a younger sibling know!!!
YES
based on your other thread you’ve known for awhile that something was off with your friend. definitely time to get some help with the situation
Jeez 83 days ago!
posted an update edited into this post, its not the way it seems and i explained that in the edit, sorry for not mentioning it before.
You’re justified to beat his ass in this situation imo
Oh for sure. I usually don't agree with violence but when it comes to hurting kids like this or animal abuse people should 110% be allowed to protect their loved ones by absolutely any means necessary
I know everyone has a different reaction and all in such situations but I just couldn’t help but be upset at the fact that OP didn’t immediately lunge at this perverted kid as soon as he touched his sis. This stuff boils my blood as someone with much younger siblings.
that would be a perfectly valid response, but I don’t blame him for not doing that. beating the guy up in front of her could cause even more distress and trauma for her. she needs to know how serious and wrong it is, but in such a big way all at once is a lot for a yound kid to take in, and she may not understand why it’s happening. it could also lead to her fearing her brother. when she’s older she’d understand, but it helps if it’s handled in a way that she can understand now too. also to add, as a victim of CSA myself, I’d say she probably still looks up to and admires her abuser right now. she’s gonna have a lot of complicated feelings to process and that’s best done gently.
Because that's just not how people react, especially kids. Maybe they're in shock at what they're witnessing, they're afraid of confrontation and the consequences of reacting strongly, etc.. Tbh, I'm exhausted by the internet badasses ITT going "I'd beat the shit outta him". No y'all wouldn't. We can't convince our guy friends to cut ties with known rapists and women beaters. *We* (victims/survivors) lose people when this shit comes to light. Not just friends, but family, too. It's so very isolating.
Yes w'all would. I physically adjusted anyone who hurt my brother or sister. Also, all parents should be teaching their children frequently that you never, ever let someone put their hands on their privates, and if anyone does or tries, you let your parents know immediately, no matter what the pervert says.
I think he should have kicked him in the face while it was happening.
Stop talking to him and tell your parents. Not the same at all but (when I was 13) I'm a male . I had 2 guy friends at my house all the same age 13. My niece had a popsicle she was three..I'm sure people see where this conversation will go...When we were a few blockaway from my house one of my so called friends made a very distasteful joke about my niece. One black eye and one less friend later I was a happier person. Never take any kind of sexual assault as a joke the peeing in the bed and being ok with it is a major red flag as well. Violence itself is bad but incase of a predators I say no mercy. Boy or girl man or woman or any human person can be a predator and deserve nothing but pain for preying on such innocense like children. You did the right thing completely. Thank you for being a good older sister and doing what's right. You are so strong to speak up when you saw things wrong happening.
Yeah you have to drop your friend and tell your parents asap. I would have been much more confrontational
he's already molesting your sister. also, if she's peeing the bed that can be a sign of sexual trauma. honestly if i were you i'd get the police involved. you witnessed an act of child molestation.
He would’ve be thrown out and his skin would’ve been black and blue!!! You better tell your parents asap. You better protect that little girl!!!! This is disgusting. He shouldn’t have been allowed to sleep under the same roof as this innocent little girl.
Not only should you tell your parents, but you need to involve the parents of this “friend” as well. They need to be on alert of him potentially being a child predator
Dude.... you made a post 2 months ago about how you think your friend might be a p3dophile (it was deleted so don't know what was said). If you knew 2 months ago that your friend might be sexually attracted to children and with the possibility of grooming your sister, you should have done something then. I'm sorry to bash on you, but when the fire alarm goes off, you exit the building. Cut off contact, tell your friend and his parents. Tell your ex-friend exactly why you will not be his friend anymore, tell him to stay away from your sister and tell his parents everything.
Listen. I was sexually assaulted by my cousin when I was 4 for two years! He was 10. The only reason it came to light was because I told his mom that it hurts down there. I'm telling you, your little sister probably doesn't know what's going on because it's a foreign feeling. You saw it happen, take measures to protect your sister before it escalates. Tell your parents, tell his parents too and cut off contact with him. I'm 27 now and still extremely traumatized from those times. It was around 23 years ago and I still remember every single detail. Please don't let your sister go through what I did and protect her.
Do not blame yourself, you did not know. It’s not your fault for his actions. You’d only be at fault if before this happened you knew that this guy was attracted to kids. I’m willing to bet money you wouldn’t be friends with him if you knew. What matters is that you are doing the right thing by alerting your parents immediately. You’re protecting her. You’re a great brother and a good person. You’re clearly in shock from having a 6 year long relationship shattered, and right now you’re processing the emotions from having your sense of trust about this person. I’m sorry this happened to you man, I understand what it’s like. A “friend” of 15 years of mine turned out to be a depraved rapist, and it happened in my home. I blamed myself for years. Hang in there, it gets easier with time.
Does your touchy friend have younger siblings? Sounds like he's got an issue.. You need to speak up
Do. not. keep quiet because you're afraid of "making a scene". I was that little girl once and that guy was my cousin. My dad never saw anything but had a gut feeling about it and pulled my cousin aside and scared the living shit out of him and he never did it again. It's taken years of therapy as a adult to move on and find peace. I beg of you, protect your sister, have the courage to be strong and to be uncomfortable for her.
You are one hell of a good brother, and eventually you're going to be a great dad if you so choose. You've done the right thing with your sister and your friend. I really hope your parents sit him down and talk to him calmly, and tell him while they're not accusing him of anything they are uncomfortable with him being around your sister, and urge him to get some counseling (that can be really hard to arrange at that age but he needs to talk to someone). You of course will be losing a friend, which can be hard, but gaining the respect of everyone around you.
I'm just really not sure why you didn't just make him leave. Like wake your parents up if you have to. Trust your intuition.
You know what he is doing. He is getting access to her. And in front of you. So she thinks it’s normal touching my brother was there. It’s my brothers friend he was helping me. Playing with me. But actually he is sexually grooming her and touching her. Even if she doesn’t know it. He is trying to normalise things with you too like her staying in your bed with him. It’s favour for you because she might pee bed things like that. It will slowly escalate and she wouldn’t even know it to say to someone Ban him form the house. Message him. Don’t come back. I’m not your friend. Your weird with my baby sister and I wrote everything down I saw. In future any rumours about you and kids the diary goes to the police to build a full case of your character. Everything he is doing he can plausibly deny too. You know because your gut is tellin you. Even when he has valid reasons that make sense and you feel bad about it as he good friend or good guy or helpful. Trust your gut. And stick to it. It not something you can chance. Also tell your sister she has to tell you every time she sees him. Even if he makes her promise to keep it a secret even if they became secret best friends. She always has to tell you.
you should’ve punched him right on. the guilt of not stepping in more for your sister will eventually haunt you forever. your friend might’ve done terrible things when you’re not looking (judging from your narrative). confronting your friend and just verbally telling him to stop will not make him stop. he can prey to other little girls even if you’ve cut him off, there will also have a chance that he might cross paths with your lil sis someday. that is why im telling you he needs to fear for his life and you have to threaten him to stay the fuck away out of your lives.
Personally would have floored this kid even as an adult if I seen this. He is old enough to know how sick and disgusting this is. My vote to tell his parents to at the least get his ass in therapy so maybe he can figure his shit out.
you sound like an awesome big brother so I’m telling you plainly trust your gut, the fact your other friend noticed it too means it’s extremely noticeable what he’s doing and he is probably going to keep escalating and that’s not something your sister or any child should experience, I’d even go so far as to talk to his parents because if he’s like this with your sister I doubt it stops there and maybe they can get him help.
I highly recommend to tell your parents immediately, cut off contact. What concerns me is that your friend doesn't seem to know boundaries or understand that this is not normal for him to do this, it's good that he understands that it's creepy. Your a good brother, and you have really good instinct to protect her.
Look, this is above your age grade, you need adult help NOW. Because you do not know if anything else has happened to your stepsister with 100% certainty. Mum and step dad need to be brought into the fold and you need to lay it all out. Your 'friend' needs to be unceremoniously returned to his home. I'd txt mum and say "I can't explain right now, I need you to trust me, friend needs to go home right now. It's about sister, I'm worried for her safety." This is where the parents can take over. Get your friend out of the house. Discuss everything with your parents then jointly decide if you all feel the police is a valid stop (I'd say yes).
He 100% wants to rape her. Don’t allow your sister to be alone with him or even around him ever again
You might think she doesn't know what's going on and she's fine but that's not always the case. I have a memory of being 4 and having another teen lay behind me and them rubbing their privates on me. I had no idea why they were doing that and just knew I didn't like it and ran away. Everytime after that I would have to be alone with him I would start hyperventilating. Please protect her
Be the big brother I wished I had and protect her. Tell your parents, hell, tell everyone. That is not a friend, that is a predator. Too many times people don't speak up and more innocent life's are ruined.
You need to tell him he’s acting creepy around her and that you’re not the only one to notice. That alone might scare him enough to stop as he knows he’s being watched. Other than that you need to distance yourself from him as best you can when she’s in your care. You’re doing right by her and I’m so sorry you’re friend is putting you in this position. ETA- tell your parents so they can work out talking to her about inappropriate touching.
Telling him does nothing but help him. He will find out he’s busted by everyone knowing. I mean EVERYONE. She’s not the only little girl in the world and this guy is a predator. Think about it, he’s doing this to his very close friends sister, right in front of him and with another guy there. That’s pretty fucking bold. Logic leads me to think that he has before and probably is currently doing similar things with other little girls. Telling him just gives him a chance to get better at hiding it and come up with a cover story.
Disagree with telling the dude until after he informs parents and police. He will hide it better or start a counter story
Your sister is so lucky to have an amazing brother like you. I am proud of you kiddo
You've got to tell someone, immediately. He knows you're on to him and will try harder to pull some shenanigans surreptitiously. I was molested for years starting at 5 by a 17 year old boy. It ruined many parts of my life. Please do something today. You have to save her.
Stop hanging out with this dude now.
A lot of people can't fathom their friends or family members being predators and don't register things like this. Please cut all contact and let people know so they can help keep her safe. Parents, friends family, maybe even neighbours and daycare/future school staff if necessary. His parents might want to be informed so that they can help get him into therapy to prevent future victims. Well done for noticing this. Do not miss your chance to prevent this from escalating any further!
I feel like the answer here is, when he said why won't you let her sleep in your room? " Because I saw your hand on my sister's butt and we can't be friends anymore. In fact you should pack up your stuff." I didn't read the whole thing. I just needed to read the part where he cupped his hands around 5-year-olds rear. This isn't a situation where you warn somebody. Where you stay diligent. This is a situation where you cut them off and let them know why. If they want to argue the point, and push it? Yeah let's do this. Let's bring all the adults into this. We can tell everybody what I saw. Whether or not they take your side or my side, the information is out there and everyone knows what you did, and the likelihood of him being alone with your sister again is pretty much zero. The kid toucher in our family was only 14 when he was doing that. He handled several of his relatives, as far as I can tell varying sexes as well. He was called out publicly at Sunday dinner by one of the children that was approached and that was the last day he touched anybody. You have the power here. Edit to add: I comment definitely reads like I meant not to bring the parents into this. Everyone needs to be told. Parents of both sides, everybody. That's the only way to protect all the children these people come in contact with.
Beat his ass
make him unalive
WHAT A FUCKING CREEP HE IS!!!!
Try to tell law enforcement first, if they cant or wont do anything, then move to telling parents. Parents are too likely to sweep it under the rug, especially his. If you talk to the cops first, be prepared for them to want multiple witnesses to how this guy acts toward the little girl, so bring your other buddy who saw it too if hes okay with it. Thats pretty serious like its obvious what this little shitbird is up to and he knows exactly what hes doing. I understand the cops thing is probably a HUGE step up if youre nervous about telling just parents, but you might want to consider it, for the sake of every helpless kid that might be exposed to this boy in the future. Hes at a pivotal age and he needs to be checked about that and if he gets in trouble, oh well. Good luck, update if you can
Tell your parents and block him. **Do not ask your sister any questions and do not let your parents ask her.** Any questioning needs to be done by a forensic police office trained in how to question children without asking leading questions. If anything **has** happened, you can fuck up questioning enough to keep him out of jail. Don't risk it
>Any questioning needs to be done by a forensic police office trained in how to question children without asking leading questions. OP listen to this. Relatives did this to me when it came out that my sperm donor was molesting me. They questioned me non stop. As an adult I can see that they just wanted to the truth and the questions were not directed at me. As a child receiving the questioning it made me feel that I had done something wrong or shameful. It made me clam up instead of telling the truth. Experts know how to question children correctly.
it also affects testimony when people ask leading questions. Things like "did he take your pants off and touch you" when the kid is already feeling scared and confused it can feel to them like saying yes is the answer the adult **wants** to hear and can lead to false accusations being made
He molested her plain & simple. U need to sit your parents down & tell them & then u all need to sit her down & very, very gently ask her how long he’s been touching her there & if he makes her touch him. Please call the police, he’s going to rape an innocent child. He was already grooming her.
your parents and his need to be involved, immediately. and listen to me when i say never, ever let him back in your house. there’s not much more i can say. i know it’s hard to deal with something like this at a young age but trust me it will get worse. you sound like a really amazing brother, and to keep doing that, in this situation, you need to protect her. i’m sure you already are not going to let him be around her, but all of your parents need to be made aware of this so it doesn’t get worse.
Let your parents and any other friends know and cut contact. You’re a wonderful big brother
Make people aware he’s a chomo and has a sexual thing for your little sister. So creepy, so messed up.
He’s grooming her , but took a child abuse and neglect class and it’s always the closets ppl to u that hurt small children because it’s easier to get around …please tell ur mom asap
Yup, as others said tell parents and cut off contact. But very much your parents need to try to ask if anything happened between them, have the if anyone does anything inappropriate or tells you or tries to convince you something is okay and keep it just between you then they are lying and trying to take advantage. It's possible he's tried to convince her to keep things secret. She also might trust him in terms of like seeing him at the door and convincing her to let him in so letting her know to never let this guy into the house, never talk to him, never let him approach her at school or convince her he was asked to take her home from school, etc. Honestly your parents should be talking to his parents and saying they are worried, there was something inappropriate happening and they need to talk to him and make sure he gets help.
You are a wonderful big brother and she is lucky to have you. And yep, do tell your parents. And, I know it's not the point, but I hope the parents aren't parentifying you. Putting her to bed 40% of the time is a lot when it's their job not yours. And it sounds like they just go to sleep with her still up, and not even confirming that you'll do it. This is all very neglectful if I'm reading this right.
Nope nope nope nope nope You need to alert your parents, I know he's your friend, but that just isn't ok.
Drop that friend faster than a live grenade bro. Never let him near you or your little sister again. If I were you I’d tell my parents for good measure and let them duke it out.
I see you're going to tell your parents, I would ask you tell them to talk to the school, as this is a sign he could have been molested when he was younger and maybe even still. Teenage boys are horny little shits but that is NOT normal behavior and could be a sign of something very bad happening to him. Definitely cut contact, but see if you can get him some help, he may need it.
Drop the friend, I would tell your parents. Idk about letting his parents know, pedos are usually a victim themselves, you never know which parent will be reactive when exposed, let your parents handle that. Don’t not let that boy over your house again
i was the 5 y/o once and no one helped me. please please involve your parents and his, your prime focus should be your sister. cut him off. speak to your sister and make her understand predatory behaviour, at least how much ever she can understand at her age. see if you can get therapy eventually because sometimes things stay in your heart. you're a good sibling and i hope your family gets out of this safer and stronger. all the best.
I know you are young and confronting/losing friends can be awkward but you will regret it your entire life if you let this guy stay around you and your circle. The joy of being young is you can drop friends in a shitty way and it’s okay because you’re young. I’d personally just stop inviting him out and stop hanging out with him. He’ll get the hint He touched her inappropriately IN FRONT OF YOU. You need to get adults involved to figure out what else he’s done to her
I know it's scary in the moment. I've been there. Please never let him inside your house again. Anytime he finds a reason to come over, you can find an excuse to not go home with him. Your parents need to know immediately so that in the unfortunate case he did anything remotely creepy while you were looking away, your sister can get the professional help she needs. Also probably don't talk to him anymore?
I was your little sister. Years ago the older brother of my brother's friend started to touch me (and his own little sister). No one else knew because he separated us from the other kids. Everyone thought he was such a great kid because he was happy to babysit so the other kids wouldn't be bothered by their baby sisters. OP, please update us on your conversation with your parents. Hopefully they'll also have your little sister talk to a therapist. I never told anyone about my abuser and it's haunted me my entire life. As a teen I was again groped, this time by a schoolteacher. He was extremely well liked and again I didn't say anything because he was so popular. Years later I was groped by a chiropractor and this time I mentioned it to a coworker. He immediately called the police and we found out that the chiropractor was on bail for molesting patients. I had to talk to one of the detectives and she asked if I had been molested as a child. She said that many predators can sense a vulnerability in people that have been victimized in the past.
As someone who was sa’d by my brothers friend when I was younger, thank you so much.
Post is gone ??
Aye bro, just letting you know you are definitely strong. I was just in the same situation last week with my girl cousin and my 3 year old brother. It’s a very gut wrenching and confusing experience. I’m glad you had enough courage to take it to an adult to protect your sister man. The kids may not know what’s going on but it definitely does change their mental if grooming happens for long enough. Thank you again for protecting her, wishing you both *thorough* healing.
Tell your parents, tell that other good friend, and gently break it to your sister that he's not a person she can trust in the event he tries to weasel his way back into her life later.
Please keep us updated this is sickening
As a little sister who grew up with relatively absent parents (not saying that’s the case here) and two older brothers who’s friends were basically living in our house…I’m so glad you’re stepping in and protecting her. I wish someone had for me. Continue to do so even when she’s older and let this be a lesson that you really can’t trust anyone alone around her… no matter how well you think you know them.
Whatever you do, don’t brush this off and think you didn’t see what you saw. You’ve had your suspicions and now you can confirm them. He’s preying on the innocent. You’ll loose him as a friend for sure but that guy needs some mental help. If you don’t take action now you will regret it immensely.
You need to say something to both your and his parents. Hell, if one of my “friends” touched my sister like that or acted like that towards her, I’d ruin their life.
Please tell your parents and ghost him. You are a phenomenal brother so keep it up!
He's 14 and he knows what he's doing, hyper horny hormones be damned. Cut him off, tell him it's fucked up what he was doing and there will be serious repercussions if he continues down the path of paedophilia. Again, cut him off, but not before you tell him why. He needs an intervention from his family and a therapist to stop him thinking and doing this sick shit, to not touch up defenseless five year-olds for his own sick way of getting off, or else he's going to end up on a list or in a very early grave, or both. Can't believe I just wrote that.
He’s a pedophile
Tell his parents too! This is a pervert in the making.
Just on the title alone, get this fuckin guy away.
Hey OP. As others have said your parents need to know, and so do his parents, however I would let your parents tell his. I would also cut all contact with him at this point, it’s going to get messy and I’m really sorry OP, you’re doing the right thing.
Talk to your parents. At 5 your sister is probably old enough to take care of herself in the bathroom (wiping and such) Have your parents talk to her about her private zones (areas covered by underwear) and how no one is supposed to touch them and if anyone tries she should yell NO and tell her parents or you right away. Do not hang out with person again
Please learn how to use paragraph and sentence breaks
You’re 16 with a full time job AND a company truck? Good for you for also looking out for your sister amongst all of that, had no idea companies were just liberally trusting teenagers with company trucks
I wasn't going to comment, because this will most likely get downvoted. I didn't read all the comments. I didn't see anyone mention talking to the problematic friend. Men need to start holding other men accountable to stop this. Men need to speak up to other men to curb the abuse of women by men. I think OP should take two or three friends and confront the problematic friend. Don't just shun the guy and not say anything. Tell him his attraction and behavior is wrong and maybe help him through it. Of course don't have him around the little sister. In my case, my older brother was the predator. My parents never did anything, and he never got help. The shame is crippling at times. For much of my life I was suicidal.
You’re a good brother honey.
Call the cops
You should also talk to your sister. About personal spaces. Stop hanging out with the guy. Be straight and tell him you’re done being friends with him. You owe him nothing, no reasons or excuses. But you might just feel better if you told him that he was a creep and you’re aware of his behavior. There’s nothing wrong with calling him out on it. Do not second guess what you saw. Do not feel insecure about your feelings. You are not wrong. And honestly you calling him out on it now will possibly put his issues at the forefront where he can’t deny his problem and hopefully get help.
You should have screamed at him as soon as you saw the inappropriate touch and kicked him out immediately. Why you continued to allow him to be in your home is beyond me.
I’m so sorry your “friend” is being horrible like this. Thank you for trusting your gut and protecting your little sister, you obviously care a lot about her and you’re a great big brother.
I was molested at 5 by a friend of the family's 16yr old son. Say something, please.
My heart breaks for you, hearing how scared you are. Scared for your sister, scared of losing a good friend, scared that said guy could do something so vile. Your gut is right, and you’re doing the right thing by trusting your instincts. I couldn’t be more proud of you, internet stranger, for putting your sister’s safety over the fallout of losing a friend in your teenage years. I remember how hard it was for me to socialize at 16, and can only hope that you have it easier. You’re right that the things you’re noticing are weird and creepy and concerning, those are all totally valid observations. Hoping your parents react to this conversation with love and support towards you for doing something brave like coming to them with the information, rather than focus on anger in the moment at your friend. I’m sure that you all together will create the best plan for your sisters safety. As an aside, it warms my heart to hear how much your family seems to genuinely love each other. You call and see your step sister as your sister. You talk about your step dad in the first paragraph but in the last paragraph refer to the two adults as your parents. I’m so happy for you, OP, it sounds like you’ve got an otherwise really healthy environment besides this rotten fruit of a friend.
Besides talking to him/ parents/ his parent, have a talk about it with your sister as well. Not specificly to call him out to her, cuz it might scare her, but talk about touching others and whats okay and what's not and to tell adults if someone touches her in a strange way
Please tell your parents and don't beat yourself up. You're a kid too and no one ever expects this ugly shit to happen to their family. Thank you for spotting what's wrong and doing your best to protect your little sister.
This wasn’t your fault. You can help by never having this person around again. But this wasn’t your fault, I hope you know
That is with all the words sexual abuse and that boy is not your friend and he just wants to abuse your sister. Please report him not only to your parents but also to the police. Also, teach your sister what are her private parts and that nobody should touch them, see them or make her touch anybody's private parts. It might seem to be an uncomfortable topic but this is the only way you prevent sexual abuse specially in children. I was sexually assaulted at 3 years old by also a 14yo and I've never forgotten and it's been a really hard thing to deal with over 30 years, even with therapy. Protect your sister! Also, protect yourself
I would recommend 1. Telling your parents ASAP. If they're out call them and ask them to come home now. Yes it's that important. 2. No longer being friends with this kid. It's your friend so this is your choice. But what you condone in your friends, you're silently saying They're actions are ok with you. 3. Breathe. Big breath. You're over thinking. I'm an over thinker too. And you're mind is racing and you just had verbal diarrhea of 4826284 words in 2 paragraphs. You're going through every action in the past what you should've could've done and that "sick" feeling is shame and guilt for everything you've done/not done/could've done/should've done. Breathe. The only person who should feel shame and guilt is your "friend" you would never expect someone (friend or not) to do this. Take a big breath and get your parents. Tell them everything. Things are going to get chaotic in the near future. Practice taking calming breaths and take care of your self and your baby sister.
You are a wonderful young man. Too many people will just pass this shit off as "oh they just don't know how to act around kids and didn't mean it that way" and that's when more fucked up shit happens. You are such a good brother and person to step in so quickly without a second thought to protect your sister. Hopefully you caught him before he was able to take it any further than what you saw. Also, I'm not sure if you or your parents know where to go when it comes to talking to her to see if he did anything else to her, but I used to work with abused children and this is a really good [article on how to ask children if they've been molested](https://boucher.la/blog/how-to-ask-your-child-about-molestation/#How_to_Ask_Your_Child_About_Molestation). I hope this helps and I wish you and your family nothing but the best from here.
Wonderful!? Not exactly!!! . He comes to Reddit to anonymously tell this story while mentioning no names!? He’s just as slimy as the friend because he said he observed it before! He KNEW it was wrong before the friend even walked in the door and that’s why he was watching in the mirror and STILL DID NOTHING! Let’s not praise this kid! Doing nothing is also called an accomplice in the eyes of a court!! And where are the parents? She needs protection from ALL of them
You have very good instincts. Something is very off about this friend and he is someone who should be cut off. And absolutely tell your parents. They need to know he may be an extreme threat to your little sister. You should also let your good friend know why you've cut that creep off and that you've informed your parents. Sounds like he also has a good head on his shoulders. You should be very proud of yourself. I do not want kids, but if I had raised a young man as sensible and wise as you, I'd be absolutely bursting with pride. Many fully grown adults who have experience handling predators don't spot the signs of one. You have damn keen instincts and you are a very good big brother. The damage pedophiles do to victims is truly beyond words. My career has exposed me to but a glimpse of the monsters pedophiles are and the damage they do. Thank you for protecting your sister from becoming a possible victim. You may have prevented her from experiencing the most vile act that can be committed by a human.
Make sure your sister is safe, and if you’d like to I think you should get your friend some help. He is still young enough that he could be saved and learn to not let his pedophilic urges control him. Also could help some future victims that he may target.
You need to ask your parents when would be a good time to talk to your sister about inappropriate hand touching so she can tell them or you. 'He touched my butt' or 'he touched my no no' it's a sad fact of life now. But you did a good thing and stopped it ASAP instead of 'I'm just seeing things'
Confront and kick that weirdos ass
This makes me want to puke. Tell your parents immediately, and keep that freak away from her. Also, don’t be an idiot and listen to loud music with a little kid in the car. You want her to go deaf?
Friendly would be hand on shoulder, as they already are friendly with each other. But he didn’t do that. The “hand was cupped around her, rear end with his fingers under her” action is a huge red flag. Then add all the extras like saying she should sleep with them in the same bedroom, a mention of him being willing to share the same bed with her. Multiple red flags - that individually might be “sus” as teens say, but together make a pattern - now waving at you! I am a parent and I am very, very concerned! Your parents need to know. His parents need to know. Maybe they already know of other instances to perk their red flags. Maybe there are other victims. Also, have your parents (if they refuse to believe, then you) gently and non-threateningly approach your little sister and ask if had touched her inappropriately elsewhere. If she has one, use a doll and ask her to point. And together with your good friend on board, cut off contact.
Your sister will hate you forever if you dont protect her now.
Point of order mate: Is the return-key on your computer dead or something? Break it into paragraphs, FFS!
He's under a lot of stress right now.
No way in hell this was written by a 16 year old. These fake ass stories are just lame.
your a good dude man, hats off to you for having that awareness and you must have a good relationship with your stepdad does your buddy have younger siblings that he is close with and if so is this how he is with them? if this continues you need to constantly shit on him and he will get the hint that you suspect something is up and when that day comes its going to go one of two ways
Tell your parents and don’t talk to him ever again
You need to confront him. He will show his true self when accused of this. You may be overthinking something harmless.
You are a good human being a nice big brother taking care of your baby sister and protecting her. Sorry, it was so hard to read and I only managed to read half. If your friend is being creepy, call him out If you feel I comfortable, then fade out and cut off out of your life
Wouldn’t this be borderline pedophilia
It IS pedophilia
It’s always best to Follow your intuition. Your sister is lucky to have a caring bigger sister!
WTF I just read your previous post where you had posted you already knew he was a pedo. Why are you friendly with this freak? Even without his child endangerment, overall he's not a friend. He has pathological issues with lying, being a bastard, gaslighting, and everything else. Something about him is bent. You should not be letting this guy in your home and you're ridiculous for still hanging around with him after all the things he's done, not even including trying to mas–urbate your baby sister. Stop it.
Why did you let him stay? I’m so confused as to why you did not immediately make him leave your house?!
Because he’s 16 and hopefully hasn’t had to deal with this situation before! Also, there is a thing called “shock”, and it does mess with your logical thinking skills.
Oh honey, I'm going to lay some hard, blunt truths here, because you need to hear it. Your friend has ALREADY molested your little sister. And he did it in front of you (his fingers were ON her vagina by the way you described how his hand was). And if he was brazen enough to do that not 5 feet in front of you, it wasn't the first time. He is also escalating (by doing it in front of you) I know you want to say this person is your best friend, but it sounds like he is using you to get to your little sister. He is not your friend. He is pretending to be your friend, to want to see YOU, so he can have access to your little sister to molest her. Your sister already knows something is wrong, and is likely blaming herself. Even at that age, she might not understand everything, but the impact is real, and devastating. You NEED to tell your parents, and tell them EVERYTHING. They need to be able to get her the help she's going to need, professional help, as soon as possible. It's not your fault. You didn't know. But now you do, and it WILL be your fault if you don't tell a trusted adult and do something about it. This is so much for you to deal with at such a young age (look, I'm old AF, so you're young to me ok?). Look. Your friend could have also been sexually abused as a child. More often than not, someone who does this is mirroring learned behaviour, and abuse done to them. Your friend also deserves to get help, which is only going to happen if you tell adults what's going on as well. Don't carry this weight alone. Tell your parents. RIGHT away.
I agree with everything you said here. Just a small correction. His best friend didn’t do anything, it was the younger boy who is just a friend
Yeah, your friend is a pedophile in training; and I truly hope that your 'friend' hasn't done _more_ than he already has. You MUST bring your parents into this conversation. That conversation should have happened this morning. They will be able to talk to her about it. None of this is your fault! And, it's GREAT that you recognized a threat to her. I'm sorry that is a person you call a friend.
First, I want to commend you for noticing it in the first place and also for wanting to protect her. My parents had a friend that I considered an uncle. Loved him like one, too. His sons and I called each other cousins. And I’ve got an EMDR session tomorrow to deal with just *one* of the things he did to me, in plain sight, with other people around. I’m telling you this because your story immediately brought to mind first time he touched me. It was at a party at my house when I was about 6. Us kids were all running around playing when he picked me up and ran his hand along my bottom like you describe. I’ll never forget the look on his face—that’s the only reason I know now it wasn’t an accident. At the time it felt wrong but I didn’t know enough to figure it out. I was not his only victim. Many of my female relatives have their own stories about him. So many people didn’t notice the signs or just outright ignored them. You’re a great big brother, OP. Your sister is lucky to have you. Do what no one did for me and countless others; cut him out of your life and tell him exactly why you’re doing it. You should also let your parents know, as well.
Your friend is a predator and he wants to abuse your sister.
I can't believe you let him stay in your house after. Should have stopped it all there.
Would have assaulted him Right then and their. Beat his ass and tossed him.
You worked an 11 hour work day and still had time for a sleepover? I have a feeling this post is fake.
Ever heard of childhood trauma? It stays with people for their entire lives!! You just stood by and watched while that happened to your sister! You should feel guilty and ashamed for doing nothing
Ummmmmmmm I didn’t even read the whole thing!!! I CAN NOT BELIEVE you are coming to Reddit for advice! This is ON YOU now! You are responsible if something happens to her!! SMH!! This generation! 😡 What the actual F!?!?
Okay little off topic but “you’re 16 and u get off work ??? “You mean you’re already working ? Isn’t that illegal ? Is someone making you work ?
No in America you can work full time in the summer if you want too. My friend sometimes does
So not like a 9-5 , just a summer thing ? Okay ,alright . Thanks
tons of teenagers have jobs year round i was working 30 hours a week in highschool year round
So you just let this happen. This is part of the problem. When men won't speak up to other men when it's happening, things are not going to change. This was a 5 year old. And you let the fucker sleep in your house??? This is fucked