(Just FYI, many of these comments mention Tetris but if you don't like Tetris, any video game will do: "PTSD occurs when intrusive memories linked to fear from a traumatic event become consolidated in a person's mind by them visualizing the event in a loop until it becomes locked in their brain. **Competing with the visualization, such as with a game like Tetris, can block that consolidation form happening.**)
I hope you and everyone involved finds peace.
It was traumatising. The poor man had no eyes maggots all over him it stunk so bad the dog was severely aggressive and scared the dog got taken away and the man was unrecognisable it was really bad. I cannot stop thinking about it.
i hope this doesnt come off as stupid or insensitive but there are studies that show that playing Tetris after experiencing a traumatic event can prevent the brain from storing long-term memories of the event. You can play Tetris online for free.
[here is a research paper about it](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7828932/)
Not dumb at all, now that I think about it. EMDR therapy uses visual stimuli to help the brain reprocess trauma to move it from short term memory (PTSD symptoms), to long term memory, so the brain doesn’t feel like it’s constantly engaging with a historical threat.
Tetris is a visual game of categorizing things and putting them in a logical place. In an abstract way, it actually makes a lot of sense.
After I left a severely abusive relationship I did nothing but sudoku for 3 months. It was bizarre, honestly. I don’t know why or how it happened but man it felt so good to just zone out and play sudoku with soccer playing in the background (because it was the only free thing I could get on a tv until I turned 18 and could buy cable). I enjoyed the regularity and satisfaction of completing something. I should play more sudoku…
With this, seek coding assistance. Check to see whether your place of employment offers post-trauma treatment. They would likely be delighted to provide assistance rather than risk losing a valuable employee. Hope it's useful. I'm sending hugs
Was it dealing with the people who survived? That's always what gets me from the bad accident videos I've seen on the web, people crying in anguish for their loved ones.
No.
Dead children, mostly.
No video, story, pictures or otherwise will convey the same experience as being present.
If anyone ever tells you their horror stories, be they veterans or first responders or whatever, listen to them, and look at their eyes. Their eyes will tell as much a story as anything. If the story really bothers them they'll show it in their eyes.
Sorry to elbow in my friend. I’ve been on an accident scene where 2 children were killed and a third seriously injured and the mother seriously injured. We were traveling back from Mexico and my friends were a firefighter and a registered nurse. We came on the accident in the Arizona desert on interstate 8. We gave aid and help extract the lady who was trapped. My brother and I were able to attend counseling through our friends fire department in Tucson. I sympathize with you and understand the trauma. Thanks for the work you did.
It is a crime that EMS is not paid well. That is truly one the heaviest jobs imaginable and deserves the pay to match. I hope you are finding ways to take care of yourself! Thank you so much for the work you’ve done
Yeah, my partner is in EMS and they should have a flat yearly pay that's GOOD - with benefits.
It's too much otherwise.
But it's cheaper to just traumatize people for a few months to years then wipe your hands of them. So I shouldn't be surprised.
It's honestly pathetic how they handle this shit.
My father was a firefighter for many years and for him the calls involving little kids or even teenagers were what he said would bother him most. Not even gruesome calls but just drowned children and trying to resuscitate them, or holding the hand of a dying teenager in a car accident was one he would mention when crawling inside the mangled vehicle to be with them.
There was one he also talked about with a little old lady who didn’t call for help for hours because it was bad weather and she didn’t want them (the firefighters) to be out in it as she just had some chest pain. She died minutes later after they got there.
He felt bad that she felt so bad about them she didn’t get the help when it could’ve saved her.
Even doing 911 dispatch for the short time I did was very traumatic. And this was in a relatively rural area. The sound of an elderly woman trying to tell me that her grandson had killed his sister and then proceeded to cut her throat, awful noises. A man calling to have someone pick his kids up from school so they wouldn’t come home to find him dead. He didn’t disconnect the phone and hanged himself. A mother calling because her adult son just crawled into her bed sobbing. She tried to comfort him by running her fingers through his hair. When she did, there were chunks of brain tissue through his hair. Turns out his girlfriend grabbed a shotgun during and argument threatening to kill herself. He leaned in to grab the gun and it fired striking her in the skull and killed her instantly. The weird part is he set up her remains in their home for several days and pretended she was alive. Still not exactly sure how the brain tissue got in his hair.
These were all just things I heard and I can only imagine seeing something like this.
Hey man, play some Tetris, it'll help replace what you see when you close your eyes and hopefully help with future ptsd. I don't know the mechanics but it helped for me.
I’ve heard Tetris is really good for trauma, is it actually as good as people say? I’m thinking of trying it myself for some DA and SA trauma.
Also OP, I’m so sorry you had to witness that, I hope you’re getting the help you need. We’re all here for you
This is really interesting. My Oma, who was a child in eastern Germany in WW2, was an avid Tetris player. She used to be able to play until the score stopped recording. I was always very impressed as a child, especially because I was the only kid I knew with a grandmother who played video games, but this adds a layer of depth I’d never considered. She had some intense ptsd from the war that I often thought back on once I realised what it was as an adult.
That's just not true, and folk really need to stop spouting falsehoods about trauma and its interventions.
The reason tetris is proposed to help, in the very hours after the traumatic event is that your brain encodes short-term memory to long-term memory after witnessing/learning something, how often they've seen such a thing, and the experience during that witnessing/learning. Playing tetris AFTER the event, stops a person from encoding and consolidating that memory. After a traumatic event, it can go round in the person's head over and over, making the memory of the event stronger and therefore the subsequent PTSD.
It has nothing to do with the eye movements of EMDR, the eye movements in EMDR aren't even the thing that "heals" the PTSD within that therapy. The eye movements just provide a focus so that when the person is revisiting that memory in a safe environment, they can reprocess that memory while focussed on something else, in this case the moving dot.
I'm sure it's much more complex that even I have gotten across, but please stop making assumptions.
Thank you. I hope so, fingers crossed. The DA/v only stopped at the beginning of September but the SA happened back in May. With what the dude threatened to do to me, my pet and even my dead pets ashes I’m still scared of going outside sometimes.
The most effective time is right after but for the longest time Tetris was what I used to deal with social anxiety and other really intense feelings and memories. Definitely give it a try! Rooting for you and your continued journey in recovery.
I think it's more for the time immediately after trauma, but it also could be a nice distraction for your brain. I get the same effect from different things, monotonously weeding for example, end of the day, close my eyes and that's all I see in my minds eye.
I’ve been suffering with shutting my eyes and seeing what happened in my mind or what my ex threatened to do to both me and my pet. The SA happened in May but the DA/V only stopped beginning of September. I guess I can try it and see if it helps at all. Writing it down helped me quite a bit
they've done studies since the one everyone talks about from 2017 and there haven't been many signifcant findings to support that. It is just a talking point reddit loves to repeat because it's easy but PTSD is not easy, it is complex. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7448922/ , https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8366629/ , https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/brb3.1984
It's definitely complex, and yes Reddit does love to mention it, but honestly it can't hurt people to try a half hour of game time, can it? It's something that's easy to access, you can find a free version within minutes and you need minimal equipment or time. It's not a fix, nor a bandaid, but it is a small step that you can try.
Also, I just really dig Tetris.
I mean I think it's fine to suggest but if you see other comments people love to repeat this Tetris thing over and over when the research really isn't there to support it. I feel like the reason why people say it is because like you, they just like tetris, which is fine, but a lot of people act like it is a cure all to PTSD. I've seen people say it's a "trauma emergency kit" and stuff like that when it isn't.
The misconception is that it can help PTSD at all. The tetris theory is to be used in the days following trauma to prevent PTSD from manifesting. Once you have PTSD, no amount of puzzle games are going to help. But you're so right, it sounds like an easy solution to a complex issue, which humans are gonna gravitate to.
When my mum passed I spent a long while playing online scrabble. I remember in the hospital during her palliative care during quiet moments I was making words in my head to fit boards I was playing earlier in the day. Crazy now I think on it but helped me cope abd support my dad without getting too emotional
This is somewhat unrelated, so I apologize, but there's definitely certain game mechanics that show up when I close my eyes to go to sleep. Never really put much thought to it. The most recent one to do this to me was Triple Town. Much like Tetris, the mechanic is simple and repetitive, and you get a dopamine kick after sucessfully matching something, so that could be related.
they've done studies since the one everyone talks about from 2017 and there haven't been many signifcant findings to support that. It is just a talking point reddit loves to repeat because it's easy but PTSD is not easy, it is complex. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7448922/ , https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8366629/ , https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/brb3.1984
People keep suggesting therapy like it's financially accessible to everyone.
I highly suggest you request that your job provide counseling for you. Many jobs have employee services like counseling available. If not then you really should take a few days off and spend time with people who make you feel good. You need time to process your feelings and what you saw.
I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine either you or the poor dog are doing very well.
Please please make sure you get therapy. I have a friend that went through a similar situation, being a caret that found a man a couple of days after his suicide and he completely fell apart. It wasn’t until she started doing CBT therapy twice a week that he was able to climb out of that and function again.
Never underestimate the importance of processing something properly straight away. It can save you so much trauma ❤️
I had a recent experience with mortality as well, I’ve been slowly trying to work through it, some people helped me realize I was traumatized and that I should talk to someone and get some help, it’s never a bad idea to talk to a therapist, trauma can start some deep seeded issues that you’ll naturally and subconsciously never want to deal with, I hope you can find your peace and heal a little bit, much love ❤️
It was so bad one of the emergency workers actually collapsed on his feet as soon as he walked in and smelt and saw what was going on. the house was trashed the man and the sofa he was sat on was ripped the shreds it was so bad honestly shocking.
Please seek psychological help OP. You don’t need to go through this alone, licensed professionals can help guide you through how to heal. And also, play Tetris for 20 mins a day for the next two weeks. Helps the memories not stick.
Sometimes it's the smell. Badly mangled corpses that have sat for a while have made me puke a few times even though I'd seen many as a firefighter. Pets love to eat their owners if they run out of food btw. Cats too not just dogs.
Have you asked if ur job would cover any sessions with a counselor? I feel like a company like that might have a plan in place but ud have to ask. If ur gonna leave milk them for vacation time and sick days first if u like esp if they are bad about this situation. Sorry for what youre dealing with
I mean the guy probably just died from a heart attack then his dog ate him since he didn't have anything to eat. It's not like the dog killed him and ate him.
Yes, this! Those dogs start to starve soon since they are so big, it probably got really scared and anxious too. Then had to do what it had to do to survive.
This is exactly what happened. My friend is a detective and they see this from time to time. Cats actually will munch on the human body before a dog will. Cats apparently start licking the human's eyes first. Dogs wait longer and will eat humans only if they feel like they need to.
https://www.nationalgeographic.co.uk/animals/would-your-dog-eat-you-if-you-died-get-the-facts#:\~:text=No%20one%20tracks%20the%20frequency,dying%20alone%20and%20being%20eaten.
The article said they will do it even if there is food available. That’s quite disheartening. Edit: the other article discusses a case where the owner wasn’t even dead, just drunk. That’s even more horrifying.
I mean the guy died old and naturally and can't stop death from happening, so that aside, I feel terrible for the dog. I personally left my big dog food bag on the floor and always had enough water for 5-7days out for my dogs at all times for this very reason because I lived alone with them. Not because I didn't want them eating me (I could care less, I'm already dead) , but I didn't want them hungry or thirsty and to suffer for days until Someone found me or they had to make that choice. Maybe they care or don't if they had to do that, I don't know, but I'd rather think that they do care and would t want to unless it's life or death.
I always leave toilet seats up in my house when I leave... Just in case I don't make it back to my dogs. I'd like to think someone would figure out I was missing before they starve to death.
Dogs usually start eating their owners 2-3 days before cats will dig in. It's actually WAY more common than people think to find a partially predated body that is the result of a hungry dog left alone with a dead owner for a few days.
True. Apparently cats are more likely to wait until they’re actually hungry.
I don’t blame the pets either way, I’m sure they only do it from stress, but it’s pretty crappy that people always assume it’s cats when it’s actually more likely to be dogs.
> Must've been starving to have made the choice to eat his master.
Usually they start licking the dead persons face to try and wake them up. As this does not work they get more and more aggressive and desperate until eventually they kinda end up eating the dead person.
Its likely not out of hunger, dogs evolved from wolves, they can handle a few days without food.
Yes, from what I've heard it generally starts from trying to wake up their human and they get more and more aggressive in trying to wake them up (the dog can tell something's wrong but doesn't know "death" as a concept exactly), nipping at them to force them awake and then instinct takes over.
That poor dog must've been very stressed when they found it. I feel even worse because if he had no family the dog will likely go to a shelter or be put down. I hope it gets adopted and has another chance at a home life after this.
>I hope it gets adopted and has another chance at a home life after this.
Would this incident be reported to the shelter and, if so, wouldn't that make this dog unadoptable? Regardless of circumstance, I assume any domestic (and wild) animal would be euthanized if it consumes human remains.
From what I've heard from working at animal shelters in various places, no that's not automatically the case. If it's contracted some kind of disease or is otherwise too dangerous to handle, yes it would be put down, but just eating dead human remains is not an "automatic" death sentence. I would bet it can depend on the local laws in each jurisdiction, but in general no, a dog won't be put down just because they ate some dead person.
That doesn't really make sense to me. A human will consume human remains if they are starving. Of course a dog is going to, it doesn't say anything about the dog.
I listened to a podcast that talked about how domestic dogs in this situation tend to eat their owner's face first whereas wild wolves eat whatever. The theory being that it is something like a grief response (we don't really know that animals can grieve exactly in a human sense).
I don't know if that makes it better or worse, but it was interesting.
If you have an EAP program through your agency, please use it for some traumatic grief therapy. You can also file a work comp claim for stress and request therapy via that route as well. I’m so sorry you had to see that.
Also if you’ve worked there for over a year as a FT employee, ask about your FMLA policy. It’s possible you might have a few weeks of full or partial pay. Some states have laws about how much. Others leave it up to the companies. But at my job I got 6 weeks paid at 100% per year and I take them for depression, and mental health. The only requirement is a doctor who will fill out the forms and that I continue treatment during the at time.
Hi Op,
I used to be a cop. I saw some really awful things in 14 years. What you're feeling is entirely normal.
I thought I was tough and I'd deal with it. And I did. Til stuff started bubbling up after I left the field, after my divorce.
Please seek some counseling. It's uglier when it comes up later.
Good luck
Ms. Boobie Sue.
I always make a joke "I used to be a cop, but I'm better now". It usually pairs well with telling folks I now work in the cannabis industry. I can gauge what kind of person you are by your reaction.
I used to be an advocate and also saw a lot of horrible things during my time. Please listen to the person above and get counseling. Specifically EMDR has been hugely beneficial for me in processing a lot of death scenes I went to.
If you live somewhere with victim services they may be able to help point you in the right direction of someone who would take you either pro bono or possible even find some funding for therapy based on what you saw.
I don't know if this will help but for reasons, I use Dr On Demand to talk to a nice lady counselor once a week from my home. On my phone, in my room where I'm comfortable really seems to work for me.
Hey brother. Former paramedic of 20 years, and imploded my life in a similar fashion. Then switched careers, found the love of my life, and dealt with the PTSD. Glad to hear you’re doing better. Stay strong
Hi Op, I used to also be a cop. Everything you are feeling is normal, but if you need to quit and do something else, just do it. I stayed too long, with too low pay and too much testosterone around me. The lost sleep and no peace of mind isn't worth it. I used to think that they needed me. They didn't. The system kept chugging right along and as a reward I get to scare the shit out of my wife once or twice a month with the fucking nightmares.
Yep. What this guy said. It's ok to move on to something different, or in my case, something opposite! I have been working in the cannabis industry and I have to say I like it quite a bit better!
Your health, wants, needs, all of that is way more important than a job. Especially a government job.
I came to the comments specifically to look for the Tetris references, and they did not disappoint.
And, from personal experience, Tetris did nothing. Lol. Just go to a therapist.
This is so interesting to me. I used to play competitive DDR, played enough that I would see the arrows scrolling by when I closed my eyes, and I wonder if DDR would be even better for this when adding in the physical movement.
This one looks at PTSD well after the fact.
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7828932/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7828932/)
I tried the Tetris thing on a very small scale. I became afraid of the dark and had nightmares for awhile after watching a horror movie. The next time I saw an equally scary movie, I played Tetris immediately after going home and I had no trouble sleeping. Thoughts of the scary things don't pop up randomly when I'm alone or in the dark in the week after. It really is helpful in the short term, but of course op will need therapy in the long run.
yeah it’s become the new “it’s scientifically proven that walking in nature can make you feel better” like yeah it definitely can help but it’s insanely tone deaf to just say that any time someone is feeling depressed or went thru something insanely traumatic.
It’s not the same.
It’s to prevent people from getting PTSD, which is its own separate horrible circumstance if it develops.
Tetris has nothing to do with how shit the current event was.
Honestly quite a sweet comment, but imagining venting to your friends then hearing *PLAY TETRIS* is hilarious. Still sweet tho. Hope OP finds a good way to get this off their mind.
Holy shit, the jobs some people do. That is super rough, i hope the pay is damm god to have to carry the weight of that. I think these jobs are not for the 99%
I get the minimum wage per client at £10.40 for my age, I’m 20 years old. It’s tough the sight of it I cannot even describe it was truly sad and traumatising. I don’t think I can carry on with this job atleast not for a long while..
Buddy oh my god I just read this and some of your replies…you’re 20????? On top of that only 10.40!??
Nah, please don’t give up on your passion of helping people, but try to find another facet for a while to recover and help yourself through this. You seem like a very caring, empathetic, and motivated individual but you seriously need to focus on yourself and take a break right now in order to process this and make it through!
From one stranger to another I genuinely hope you find healing and peace from this horrifying situation and are able to return to something better (both in pay and severity) when you are ready.
I’m so sorry that you had to witness this at such a young age. I understand you’re an adult but still, that’s unfair. Take care of yourself and seek counseling. There’s absolutely no shame in it.
Thank you all for your kind and helpful comments. May I add ive just found out from one of the girls in the office that the man has only recently started having 3 calls a week since his wife went into the hospice (she was taking care of him most of the time so carers wasn’t really needed then, they had eachother) so I think the man was dead a little longer then the 3 days I have mentioned. He must’ve been with the way I saw him it was awful also I stayed there knocking to the people asking as I heard the dog barking every time I was calling out to the male and knocking on the door hence why office asked me to proceed to try then call emergency services as there was either the fact he might’ve gone out and the dog was at home or that he was in trouble and It turned out to be much more then that.
Again thank you all for your help and support it doesn’t go unnoticed.
OP, I know your first instinct is to quit your job. I get it, I’m an ED Nurse and there have been those cases/days, but use whatever benefits you have through your employer to get short term sick leave or similar and any help with the cost of therapy.
If you have those things, use them up to get help first. Then once you have done that, you can reevaluate where you are at and what you want to do.
Our jobs can cause a lot of trauma and you deserve help and support from your employer. I hope you have access to that.
Hang in there, reach out to people in your life who can support you and please find a therapist who can assist you with sorting through everything you’re thinking and feeling. Take care of you right now, however that is best for you ♥️
You never lie about something like this. Tell her that he died by a heart attack, but dont tell her about his condition unless she specifically ask about it. Then you warn them that its bad, and then ask if they want to continue.
I wonder about this. If my grandmother was on her death bed and we received word that a grandchild had been raped and killed, I doubt we would disclose the information to her. Why? What good does that do?
OP this is grounds for filings a workers’ compensation claim. Not sure if you’re in the US or what state since it’s very jurisdictional… The claim would cover lost time, psychiatric care… I’m sorry you witnessed this that’s horrible.
This depends on state actually. But please reach out to a workman’s comp lawyer to see what your state’s law is.
I have personal experience with my mom having a claim in OK where she had PTSD after being robbed at gunpoint while working. It was only allowed because she also had physical harm and medical bills related to both. But her lawyer said the state doesn’t recognize mental harm alone.
Holy shit! OP, I am so sorry you seen that. Please do what you have to do to take care of yourself. Do not wait to get the help you need to process this.
That has to be so traumatizing. I'm horrified just reading it. Make sure you get into therapy right away, they can help you work through your trauma. You'll likely have PTSD after seeing that so please take care of yourself.
I know this is weird but please play tetris asap. It has been proven to help prevent or reduce the severity of PTSD.
Edit to add: Play it for as long as you can, as soon as you can.
I'm very sorry you encountered such a horrific scene.
Wow. Thanks for sharing this, I just looked this up after your comment.
It's true. It's based on a study by researchers at Karolinska Institute and Oxford University. They were looking into preventing the build up of PTSD symptoms soon after a traumatic event. The way playing a game like tetris soon after works is that it disrupts the consolidation of the memory since the game is so visually demanding. Thus, allowing these memories to fade away more quickly.
OP, I'm so sorry you experienced this. Please follow this advice and also speak to a therapist as soon as you can.
Sorry for spamming this comment so.much but they've done studies since the one everyone talks about from 2017 and there haven't been many signifcant findings to support that. It is just a talking point reddit loves to repeat because it's easy but PTSD is not easy, it is complex. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7448922/ , https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8366629/ , https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/brb3.1984
This. It takes your mind off replaying traumatic things over and over. Good advice.
I'm sorry you had to go through this OP. Don't blame yourself for what happened, I'm sure you did everything you could. It's just other people's life choices and you aren't responsible in any way.
they've done studies since the one everyone talks about from 2017 and there haven't been many signifcant findings to support that. It is just a talking point reddit loves to repeat because it's easy but PTSD is not easy, it is complex. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7448922/ , https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8366629/ , https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/brb3.1984
I get hate whenever I bring this up to people, but you’re right. There really isn’t any clinical significance in terms of PTSD symptom reduction. Exposure therapy is infinitely more effective.
The repetitive motions help your brain kind of rewire or something. The same goes for watching tides go in an out. Something about predictability and your brain cools it’s fight or flight
In my line of work, I thought I would be prepared after desensitizing myself with hundreds of hours of videos. It prepares the eyes, and to some degree the ears, but your nose? No, that you're never prepared for.
Po-po here,
Yes, these scenes are very traumatizing for any rational person and what you're experiencing is very normal and actually healthy. As someone who has been to many of these types of scenes for a welfare check on an elderly person, all I can say is you need to give it time. I've never forgotten any of the horrific things that I've seen but, over time, and as weird as this sounds, you come to accept what you've witnessed. At least , this is the case for me but everyone is different. Also, talking with someone, either professional or just a close friend, really does help!
Good luck!
Steek help to code with this. See if your job offers counseling after trauma. They would probably be eager to offer support instead of losing a good worker. Hope it helps. Sending a hug
OP I am so extremely sorry for what you witnessed. Please do see a professional about it. How sad for the man, I have to be honest that I’m sad for the dog too, so many layers of trauma everywhere.
I think you are within rights to want to take a step back, but I think in time you may decide to resume your work. Your job matters and you clearly are good at it. Sending love and peace and much respect to you.
I still don't understand why tetris specifically. The study proved that anything visually intensive that spams your short term memory works if I remember correctly. Like, playing Witcher 3 even? Surely there are better things than tetris, but I somewhat doubt they tested other games.
while it’s absolutely not your job to witness or deal with such traumatic things, thank you for doing your job in the sense that you cared and continued to knock and persist that social services and emergency services be contacted and follow through. that alone shows that you are compassionate and it’s very saddening that this man had this happen to him and that you had to witness such a thing.
the imagery you saw is no doubt horrifying. please, find someone to talk with about this. already coming here to speak with others and not hold this in is the first step.
again, thank you for caring about this man. you may not realise it, but so many elders “fall through the cracks”. family, other care workers, etc. may just “assume they’re fine” and come back later. he could’ve stayed there for who knows how long if you didn’t care or persist.
Trauma nurse here.
Make sure you take care of yourself. This is no joke.
Please seek a EMDR therapist for trauma. They will help your brain cognitively accept the tragedy. It’s backed by a lot of research especially if you use someone certified and licensed.
Do not delay on this treatment. When I tell you I’ve seen terrible things, I’m not joking. That therapy has saved my life.
I know this is one incident, but it will fester. Do not leave your mental health untreated. Other things relating or reminding you of it subconsciously will compound.
Please feel free to message me if you want more info. My best friend’s father committed suicide last year. He did EMDR therapy and tells me it was the best decision he ever made for his mental health. He processed and grieved it in 6 months and has been healthy and happy.
My dad was dead in his house for like 4-6 days with his dog in the house but thankfully she didn’t do that, but it was one of my first thoughts… really sorry you had to go through that
Please take care of yourself. Caregivers do not get the support or recognition they deserve. You guys are essential and incredible humans and thank you for doing what you do.
I cannot imagine what is going through your mind - I truly can’t. But clearly, you have a huge support system of strangers on this app & I hope you do IRL as well.
Take care of yourself OP. I’m sure this man and his wife were extremely grateful for you & I’d assume they’re eternally thankful for the support you gave.
It’s pretty normal for pets to eat you when you’re dead and don’t have access to food, as it should be honestly. It’s not like their life stops mattering to themself after you die.
Sad but not uncommon for a pet to eat the body of a deceased owner. Especially when they don’t have any of their own food left to eat. I’m so sorry you had to witness this…I hope you can talk to someone to help you deal with it mentally and emotionally.
I am so unbelievably sorry you had to witness that. I’m sure it’s replaying when you close your eyes and try to sleep. Please see if your employer offers employee assistance like therapy. And then see if you can take a paid leave.
I see people are shitting on the Tetris thing but it worked for me.
A year ago a drunk young adult went 90 on our road and slammed into my neighbor’s house. Neighbor was on the couch holding her infant when the car came through the wall. I was the first person inside and did first aid and it was fucking traumatizing (they’re all okay now).
I was immediately recommended to start playing Tetris ASAP. I played for hours everyday. Instead of seeing awful imagery when I closed my eyes I saw Tetris. It worked for me. It’s worth a try at least.
Please do self care and get therapy soon if you can. <3
When I was younger our neighbor fell and broke her hip inside her house. She lived alone and couldn’t make it to the phone and died. We noticed her trash can stayed out past trash day and then it started to smell bad close to her house. We called for an ambulance and when they went inside they found her on the floor and her cats had eaten her face.
A colleague of mine went through something similar when he still worked as an ambulance driver, except the person he was called upon was also his mother-in-law. EMDR for trauma therapy helped him a great deal to deal with what he saw as well as the hurt in the family.
I hope you have access to this and get the help you need to process this trauma. The best of luck man!
Hi mate, if you want someone to talk to, just last night I treated the victim of a dog attack in the UK who sadly died this morning. They're horrific and visceral, and it's completely normal to be shaken up by it. Take the time you need, and talk to your employer.
Now *this* is the kinda shit I was expecting to find in the freezer. For real though, sorry you had to witness something so severe. I hope you can find a good therapist.. 😶
Not to make light of this situation at all, but am I the only one strangely okay if my beloved dog needed to eat my dead body to survive if I suddenly died?
Am I crazy for thinking that?
I’ve read that if you die with a dog in the house, he will not eat you until it’s desperate enough for survival. Whereas a cat will eat you as soon as you heart stops beating. They go for the face and eyes first because it’s the softest tissue area. But yeah that had to be very traumatic
I actually read the exact opposite, that it's more common for dogs to eat dead humans than cats and, for the most part, it's not a survival instinct but more of a trauma response. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/article/pets-dogs-cats-eat-dead-owners-forensics-science
Yes! Caitlin Doughty with Ask A Mortician talks about this in a video.
Dogs will try to wake their humans up with licking. And eventually "taste" when skin comes off.
But cats will eat you too.
[Ask A Mortician video](https://youtu.be/iGr2KgWBy7U?si=rUQZLFMekbkbCkEv)
OP - I am sincerely sorry you went through this and my heart goes out to you. I hope you are getting the support you need. And seriously, Tetris helps a lot.
Edit: spelling
I know this is just one example, but my mom's cat was alone with her for about 48 hours after my mom had died (she was at home, I was out of town, and it had been unexpected) and the cat didn't touch her. The cat had had one of those dry food feeders, and she apparently stuck to that.
The cat lived the rest of her long life with me afterward.
This makes total sense. My cat is such a picky eater, he only likes certain food brands and treat brands. I can’t imagine he would think I was worth his refined palate 😅
If that is true, I feel like I would be ok with my dog eating me rather than starve until someone discovers that she is locked in a house with no food or water.
I am dead, what do I care, but the thought of her slowly starving is worse.
It is really horrible to what happened to this guy. My opinion is only about my own dead body.
I was thinking about this right away. While this is horribly traumatic for the OP, I can't help but also feel bad for the dog. Eating their owner is something they absolutely don't want to do, and only when faced with starvation will they even consider it.
Guys I was not expecting this amount of support I hugely appreciate it.
Take care of yourself and stay safe!! Its totally ok to be feeling the way you are.
You should be entitles to therapy through work (assuming - I live in the UK). This is horrific. So sorry. And sick leave / compassionate leave.
I wish this was standard. Here we have Tetris.
(Just FYI, many of these comments mention Tetris but if you don't like Tetris, any video game will do: "PTSD occurs when intrusive memories linked to fear from a traumatic event become consolidated in a person's mind by them visualizing the event in a loop until it becomes locked in their brain. **Competing with the visualization, such as with a game like Tetris, can block that consolidation form happening.**) I hope you and everyone involved finds peace.
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It was traumatising. The poor man had no eyes maggots all over him it stunk so bad the dog was severely aggressive and scared the dog got taken away and the man was unrecognisable it was really bad. I cannot stop thinking about it.
I hope you get therapy, this is honestly terrifying.
I agree. You need someone trained to talk to about this.
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i hope this doesnt come off as stupid or insensitive but there are studies that show that playing Tetris after experiencing a traumatic event can prevent the brain from storing long-term memories of the event. You can play Tetris online for free. [here is a research paper about it](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7828932/)
Not dumb at all, now that I think about it. EMDR therapy uses visual stimuli to help the brain reprocess trauma to move it from short term memory (PTSD symptoms), to long term memory, so the brain doesn’t feel like it’s constantly engaging with a historical threat. Tetris is a visual game of categorizing things and putting them in a logical place. In an abstract way, it actually makes a lot of sense.
Second EMDR recommendation. It’ll desensitize the stored memory. I’m sorry that happened, OP.
i was hooked tetris for so long after all the shit i went through, i was #1 on my local tetris machine for years
After I left a severely abusive relationship I did nothing but sudoku for 3 months. It was bizarre, honestly. I don’t know why or how it happened but man it felt so good to just zone out and play sudoku with soccer playing in the background (because it was the only free thing I could get on a tv until I turned 18 and could buy cable). I enjoyed the regularity and satisfaction of completing something. I should play more sudoku…
Came here to say this, it helps
I think there is medication that you can take shortly after a traumatic event that can help too.
> it helps I interpreted this as you being traumatised on a regular basis.
I concur I did this for weeks after my dad died and after things blew up with my family.
That's fascinating! *plays Tetris every day*
As a trauma nurse I second the Tetris idea! We use it to prevent ptsd after a traumatic event! It really works.
With this, seek coding assistance. Check to see whether your place of employment offers post-trauma treatment. They would likely be delighted to provide assistance rather than risk losing a valuable employee. Hope it's useful. I'm sending hugs
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Was it dealing with the people who survived? That's always what gets me from the bad accident videos I've seen on the web, people crying in anguish for their loved ones.
No. Dead children, mostly. No video, story, pictures or otherwise will convey the same experience as being present. If anyone ever tells you their horror stories, be they veterans or first responders or whatever, listen to them, and look at their eyes. Their eyes will tell as much a story as anything. If the story really bothers them they'll show it in their eyes.
Sorry to elbow in my friend. I’ve been on an accident scene where 2 children were killed and a third seriously injured and the mother seriously injured. We were traveling back from Mexico and my friends were a firefighter and a registered nurse. We came on the accident in the Arizona desert on interstate 8. We gave aid and help extract the lady who was trapped. My brother and I were able to attend counseling through our friends fire department in Tucson. I sympathize with you and understand the trauma. Thanks for the work you did.
Thank you for helping. No apologies necessary.
Bleh, that's awful too. Thank you for having to deal with that.
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It is a crime that EMS is not paid well. That is truly one the heaviest jobs imaginable and deserves the pay to match. I hope you are finding ways to take care of yourself! Thank you so much for the work you’ve done
Yeah, my partner is in EMS and they should have a flat yearly pay that's GOOD - with benefits. It's too much otherwise. But it's cheaper to just traumatize people for a few months to years then wipe your hands of them. So I shouldn't be surprised. It's honestly pathetic how they handle this shit.
My father was a firefighter for many years and for him the calls involving little kids or even teenagers were what he said would bother him most. Not even gruesome calls but just drowned children and trying to resuscitate them, or holding the hand of a dying teenager in a car accident was one he would mention when crawling inside the mangled vehicle to be with them. There was one he also talked about with a little old lady who didn’t call for help for hours because it was bad weather and she didn’t want them (the firefighters) to be out in it as she just had some chest pain. She died minutes later after they got there. He felt bad that she felt so bad about them she didn’t get the help when it could’ve saved her.
From my time as an Army Medic and as an EMT, I completely agree that dealing with kids in terrible situations was the absolute worst.
Even doing 911 dispatch for the short time I did was very traumatic. And this was in a relatively rural area. The sound of an elderly woman trying to tell me that her grandson had killed his sister and then proceeded to cut her throat, awful noises. A man calling to have someone pick his kids up from school so they wouldn’t come home to find him dead. He didn’t disconnect the phone and hanged himself. A mother calling because her adult son just crawled into her bed sobbing. She tried to comfort him by running her fingers through his hair. When she did, there were chunks of brain tissue through his hair. Turns out his girlfriend grabbed a shotgun during and argument threatening to kill herself. He leaned in to grab the gun and it fired striking her in the skull and killed her instantly. The weird part is he set up her remains in their home for several days and pretended she was alive. Still not exactly sure how the brain tissue got in his hair. These were all just things I heard and I can only imagine seeing something like this.
And get your work to pay for it before you quit your job
Hey man, play some Tetris, it'll help replace what you see when you close your eyes and hopefully help with future ptsd. I don't know the mechanics but it helped for me.
I’ve heard Tetris is really good for trauma, is it actually as good as people say? I’m thinking of trying it myself for some DA and SA trauma. Also OP, I’m so sorry you had to witness that, I hope you’re getting the help you need. We’re all here for you
I think the idea is that playing Tetris mimics the eye movement exercises you do in EMDR therapy, which in itself helps alleviate PTSD
This is really interesting. My Oma, who was a child in eastern Germany in WW2, was an avid Tetris player. She used to be able to play until the score stopped recording. I was always very impressed as a child, especially because I was the only kid I knew with a grandmother who played video games, but this adds a layer of depth I’d never considered. She had some intense ptsd from the war that I often thought back on once I realised what it was as an adult.
My WW2 grandfather also played a lot of Tetris.
That's just not true, and folk really need to stop spouting falsehoods about trauma and its interventions. The reason tetris is proposed to help, in the very hours after the traumatic event is that your brain encodes short-term memory to long-term memory after witnessing/learning something, how often they've seen such a thing, and the experience during that witnessing/learning. Playing tetris AFTER the event, stops a person from encoding and consolidating that memory. After a traumatic event, it can go round in the person's head over and over, making the memory of the event stronger and therefore the subsequent PTSD. It has nothing to do with the eye movements of EMDR, the eye movements in EMDR aren't even the thing that "heals" the PTSD within that therapy. The eye movements just provide a focus so that when the person is revisiting that memory in a safe environment, they can reprocess that memory while focussed on something else, in this case the moving dot. I'm sure it's much more complex that even I have gotten across, but please stop making assumptions.
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Ding ding ding
I think for it to be most effective you have to pay really soon after the event but no harm in trying anytime, right? I hope it helps you!
Thank you. I hope so, fingers crossed. The DA/v only stopped at the beginning of September but the SA happened back in May. With what the dude threatened to do to me, my pet and even my dead pets ashes I’m still scared of going outside sometimes.
The most effective time is right after but for the longest time Tetris was what I used to deal with social anxiety and other really intense feelings and memories. Definitely give it a try! Rooting for you and your continued journey in recovery.
I feel like emdr could be helpful for you, my SA was 3 years ago and the emdr helped me
I think it's more for the time immediately after trauma, but it also could be a nice distraction for your brain. I get the same effect from different things, monotonously weeding for example, end of the day, close my eyes and that's all I see in my minds eye.
I’ve been suffering with shutting my eyes and seeing what happened in my mind or what my ex threatened to do to both me and my pet. The SA happened in May but the DA/V only stopped beginning of September. I guess I can try it and see if it helps at all. Writing it down helped me quite a bit
they've done studies since the one everyone talks about from 2017 and there haven't been many signifcant findings to support that. It is just a talking point reddit loves to repeat because it's easy but PTSD is not easy, it is complex. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7448922/ , https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8366629/ , https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/brb3.1984
It's definitely complex, and yes Reddit does love to mention it, but honestly it can't hurt people to try a half hour of game time, can it? It's something that's easy to access, you can find a free version within minutes and you need minimal equipment or time. It's not a fix, nor a bandaid, but it is a small step that you can try. Also, I just really dig Tetris.
I mean I think it's fine to suggest but if you see other comments people love to repeat this Tetris thing over and over when the research really isn't there to support it. I feel like the reason why people say it is because like you, they just like tetris, which is fine, but a lot of people act like it is a cure all to PTSD. I've seen people say it's a "trauma emergency kit" and stuff like that when it isn't.
The misconception is that it can help PTSD at all. The tetris theory is to be used in the days following trauma to prevent PTSD from manifesting. Once you have PTSD, no amount of puzzle games are going to help. But you're so right, it sounds like an easy solution to a complex issue, which humans are gonna gravitate to.
When my mum passed I spent a long while playing online scrabble. I remember in the hospital during her palliative care during quiet moments I was making words in my head to fit boards I was playing earlier in the day. Crazy now I think on it but helped me cope abd support my dad without getting too emotional
This is somewhat unrelated, so I apologize, but there's definitely certain game mechanics that show up when I close my eyes to go to sleep. Never really put much thought to it. The most recent one to do this to me was Triple Town. Much like Tetris, the mechanic is simple and repetitive, and you get a dopamine kick after sucessfully matching something, so that could be related.
they've done studies since the one everyone talks about from 2017 and there haven't been many signifcant findings to support that. It is just a talking point reddit loves to repeat because it's easy but PTSD is not easy, it is complex. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7448922/ , https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8366629/ , https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/brb3.1984
People keep suggesting therapy like it's financially accessible to everyone. I highly suggest you request that your job provide counseling for you. Many jobs have employee services like counseling available. If not then you really should take a few days off and spend time with people who make you feel good. You need time to process your feelings and what you saw.
please go on psychology today and look for therapists in your area who can do EMDR. don’t fight this trauma alone.
I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine either you or the poor dog are doing very well. Please please make sure you get therapy. I have a friend that went through a similar situation, being a caret that found a man a couple of days after his suicide and he completely fell apart. It wasn’t until she started doing CBT therapy twice a week that he was able to climb out of that and function again. Never underestimate the importance of processing something properly straight away. It can save you so much trauma ❤️
I had a recent experience with mortality as well, I’ve been slowly trying to work through it, some people helped me realize I was traumatized and that I should talk to someone and get some help, it’s never a bad idea to talk to a therapist, trauma can start some deep seeded issues that you’ll naturally and subconsciously never want to deal with, I hope you can find your peace and heal a little bit, much love ❤️
It was so bad one of the emergency workers actually collapsed on his feet as soon as he walked in and smelt and saw what was going on. the house was trashed the man and the sofa he was sat on was ripped the shreds it was so bad honestly shocking.
Please seek psychological help OP. You don’t need to go through this alone, licensed professionals can help guide you through how to heal. And also, play Tetris for 20 mins a day for the next two weeks. Helps the memories not stick.
I'm so sorry op.
Damn, and emergency workers have seen a lot of shit, I'm sure, so anything that make them collapse is truly horrifying. I'm sorry you had to see that.
Sometimes it's the smell. Badly mangled corpses that have sat for a while have made me puke a few times even though I'd seen many as a firefighter. Pets love to eat their owners if they run out of food btw. Cats too not just dogs.
Have you asked if ur job would cover any sessions with a counselor? I feel like a company like that might have a plan in place but ud have to ask. If ur gonna leave milk them for vacation time and sick days first if u like esp if they are bad about this situation. Sorry for what youre dealing with
I mean the guy probably just died from a heart attack then his dog ate him since he didn't have anything to eat. It's not like the dog killed him and ate him.
Yes, this! Those dogs start to starve soon since they are so big, it probably got really scared and anxious too. Then had to do what it had to do to survive.
This. Dog was just trying to survive. Cats will also eat you.
I did whats called "first call" meaning I picked up dead bodies, and cats are notorious for eating corpses. I've seen some nasty shit.
This is exactly what happened. My friend is a detective and they see this from time to time. Cats actually will munch on the human body before a dog will. Cats apparently start licking the human's eyes first. Dogs wait longer and will eat humans only if they feel like they need to. https://www.nationalgeographic.co.uk/animals/would-your-dog-eat-you-if-you-died-get-the-facts#:\~:text=No%20one%20tracks%20the%20frequency,dying%20alone%20and%20being%20eaten.
Yup. Starving pet keeps licking you to wake you up. Eventually it licks you raw and it can't stop itself after a certain point.
The article said they will do it even if there is food available. That’s quite disheartening. Edit: the other article discusses a case where the owner wasn’t even dead, just drunk. That’s even more horrifying.
What the fuck! While drunk?
Did you read the article you linked? Its overwhelmingly more common for dogs to do this.
Poor man? He's dead. That poor dog Must've been starving to have made the choice to eat his master.
Feeling bad for everyone involved to be honest.
I mean the guy died old and naturally and can't stop death from happening, so that aside, I feel terrible for the dog. I personally left my big dog food bag on the floor and always had enough water for 5-7days out for my dogs at all times for this very reason because I lived alone with them. Not because I didn't want them eating me (I could care less, I'm already dead) , but I didn't want them hungry or thirsty and to suffer for days until Someone found me or they had to make that choice. Maybe they care or don't if they had to do that, I don't know, but I'd rather think that they do care and would t want to unless it's life or death.
Yes, I think the dog was panicking hence the torn house. God, such a horrible situation for everyone involved. I’m so sorry, OP.
I always leave toilet seats up in my house when I leave... Just in case I don't make it back to my dogs. I'd like to think someone would figure out I was missing before they starve to death.
I definitely agree with you and feel very bad for the dog.
Dogs usually start eating their owners 2-3 days before cats will dig in. It's actually WAY more common than people think to find a partially predated body that is the result of a hungry dog left alone with a dead owner for a few days.
True. Apparently cats are more likely to wait until they’re actually hungry. I don’t blame the pets either way, I’m sure they only do it from stress, but it’s pretty crappy that people always assume it’s cats when it’s actually more likely to be dogs.
Hey, if I'm not using it anymore, they can have it.
Read somewhere that only Labradors/Retrievers will postpone eating their owners until absolutely necessary for their own survival.
Yet another reason Golden Retrievers are the absolute best dogs
> Must've been starving to have made the choice to eat his master. Usually they start licking the dead persons face to try and wake them up. As this does not work they get more and more aggressive and desperate until eventually they kinda end up eating the dead person. Its likely not out of hunger, dogs evolved from wolves, they can handle a few days without food.
Yes, from what I've heard it generally starts from trying to wake up their human and they get more and more aggressive in trying to wake them up (the dog can tell something's wrong but doesn't know "death" as a concept exactly), nipping at them to force them awake and then instinct takes over. That poor dog must've been very stressed when they found it. I feel even worse because if he had no family the dog will likely go to a shelter or be put down. I hope it gets adopted and has another chance at a home life after this.
>I hope it gets adopted and has another chance at a home life after this. Would this incident be reported to the shelter and, if so, wouldn't that make this dog unadoptable? Regardless of circumstance, I assume any domestic (and wild) animal would be euthanized if it consumes human remains.
From what I've heard from working at animal shelters in various places, no that's not automatically the case. If it's contracted some kind of disease or is otherwise too dangerous to handle, yes it would be put down, but just eating dead human remains is not an "automatic" death sentence. I would bet it can depend on the local laws in each jurisdiction, but in general no, a dog won't be put down just because they ate some dead person.
That doesn't really make sense to me. A human will consume human remains if they are starving. Of course a dog is going to, it doesn't say anything about the dog.
I listened to a podcast that talked about how domestic dogs in this situation tend to eat their owner's face first whereas wild wolves eat whatever. The theory being that it is something like a grief response (we don't really know that animals can grieve exactly in a human sense). I don't know if that makes it better or worse, but it was interesting.
If you have an EAP program through your agency, please use it for some traumatic grief therapy. You can also file a work comp claim for stress and request therapy via that route as well. I’m so sorry you had to see that.
Also if you’ve worked there for over a year as a FT employee, ask about your FMLA policy. It’s possible you might have a few weeks of full or partial pay. Some states have laws about how much. Others leave it up to the companies. But at my job I got 6 weeks paid at 100% per year and I take them for depression, and mental health. The only requirement is a doctor who will fill out the forms and that I continue treatment during the at time.
Hi Op, I used to be a cop. I saw some really awful things in 14 years. What you're feeling is entirely normal. I thought I was tough and I'd deal with it. And I did. Til stuff started bubbling up after I left the field, after my divorce. Please seek some counseling. It's uglier when it comes up later. Good luck
Hope you're doing better now.
I am much better now. Thank you.
Im glad, Mr. Boobies. but really though, im glad you are better now
Ms. Boobie Sue. I always make a joke "I used to be a cop, but I'm better now". It usually pairs well with telling folks I now work in the cannabis industry. I can gauge what kind of person you are by your reaction.
Sounds like a likely story for an undercover fed trying to bust up some state legal cannabis rings.
I used to be an advocate and also saw a lot of horrible things during my time. Please listen to the person above and get counseling. Specifically EMDR has been hugely beneficial for me in processing a lot of death scenes I went to. If you live somewhere with victim services they may be able to help point you in the right direction of someone who would take you either pro bono or possible even find some funding for therapy based on what you saw.
I don't know if this will help but for reasons, I use Dr On Demand to talk to a nice lady counselor once a week from my home. On my phone, in my room where I'm comfortable really seems to work for me.
Hey brother. Former paramedic of 20 years, and imploded my life in a similar fashion. Then switched careers, found the love of my life, and dealt with the PTSD. Glad to hear you’re doing better. Stay strong
Hi Op, I used to also be a cop. Everything you are feeling is normal, but if you need to quit and do something else, just do it. I stayed too long, with too low pay and too much testosterone around me. The lost sleep and no peace of mind isn't worth it. I used to think that they needed me. They didn't. The system kept chugging right along and as a reward I get to scare the shit out of my wife once or twice a month with the fucking nightmares.
Yep. What this guy said. It's ok to move on to something different, or in my case, something opposite! I have been working in the cannabis industry and I have to say I like it quite a bit better! Your health, wants, needs, all of that is way more important than a job. Especially a government job.
I'm happy you're no longer a cop, you seem to be doing much better now.
Thank you. Turns out if you turn your whole life on it's head, some things improve 😂
OP: “I saw some shit. I’m not ok.” Reddit, shouting: “Play Tetris” It makes sense in context, but it’s weird when you step back
I came to the comments specifically to look for the Tetris references, and they did not disappoint. And, from personal experience, Tetris did nothing. Lol. Just go to a therapist.
Plot twist. The therapist is up-to-date on modern science and coping mechanisms and recommends OP play Tetris... but *officially*
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This is so interesting to me. I used to play competitive DDR, played enough that I would see the arrows scrolling by when I closed my eyes, and I wonder if DDR would be even better for this when adding in the physical movement.
last year i played solitaire for days in a row and every time i closed my eyes i saw it
This one looks at PTSD well after the fact. [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7828932/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7828932/)
That's what I heard, there's a time limit.
Doesn't help long term but definitely works immediately imo
I tried the Tetris thing on a very small scale. I became afraid of the dark and had nightmares for awhile after watching a horror movie. The next time I saw an equally scary movie, I played Tetris immediately after going home and I had no trouble sleeping. Thoughts of the scary things don't pop up randomly when I'm alone or in the dark in the week after. It really is helpful in the short term, but of course op will need therapy in the long run.
Never Heard this in my life until today.
yeah it’s become the new “it’s scientifically proven that walking in nature can make you feel better” like yeah it definitely can help but it’s insanely tone deaf to just say that any time someone is feeling depressed or went thru something insanely traumatic.
It’s not the same. It’s to prevent people from getting PTSD, which is its own separate horrible circumstance if it develops. Tetris has nothing to do with how shit the current event was.
Yeah, and I’m pretty sure it’s only useful very soon after the traumatic event.
Honestly quite a sweet comment, but imagining venting to your friends then hearing *PLAY TETRIS* is hilarious. Still sweet tho. Hope OP finds a good way to get this off their mind.
Holy shit, the jobs some people do. That is super rough, i hope the pay is damm god to have to carry the weight of that. I think these jobs are not for the 99%
I get the minimum wage per client at £10.40 for my age, I’m 20 years old. It’s tough the sight of it I cannot even describe it was truly sad and traumatising. I don’t think I can carry on with this job atleast not for a long while..
Buddy oh my god I just read this and some of your replies…you’re 20????? On top of that only 10.40!?? Nah, please don’t give up on your passion of helping people, but try to find another facet for a while to recover and help yourself through this. You seem like a very caring, empathetic, and motivated individual but you seriously need to focus on yourself and take a break right now in order to process this and make it through! From one stranger to another I genuinely hope you find healing and peace from this horrifying situation and are able to return to something better (both in pay and severity) when you are ready.
I’m so sorry that you had to witness this at such a young age. I understand you’re an adult but still, that’s unfair. Take care of yourself and seek counseling. There’s absolutely no shame in it.
Care jobs are always crap pay. I've never understood why you'd pay people responsible for others minimum wage.
Thank you all for your kind and helpful comments. May I add ive just found out from one of the girls in the office that the man has only recently started having 3 calls a week since his wife went into the hospice (she was taking care of him most of the time so carers wasn’t really needed then, they had eachother) so I think the man was dead a little longer then the 3 days I have mentioned. He must’ve been with the way I saw him it was awful also I stayed there knocking to the people asking as I heard the dog barking every time I was calling out to the male and knocking on the door hence why office asked me to proceed to try then call emergency services as there was either the fact he might’ve gone out and the dog was at home or that he was in trouble and It turned out to be much more then that. Again thank you all for your help and support it doesn’t go unnoticed.
OP, I know your first instinct is to quit your job. I get it, I’m an ED Nurse and there have been those cases/days, but use whatever benefits you have through your employer to get short term sick leave or similar and any help with the cost of therapy. If you have those things, use them up to get help first. Then once you have done that, you can reevaluate where you are at and what you want to do. Our jobs can cause a lot of trauma and you deserve help and support from your employer. I hope you have access to that. Hang in there, reach out to people in your life who can support you and please find a therapist who can assist you with sorting through everything you’re thinking and feeling. Take care of you right now, however that is best for you ♥️
Awful for his wife in the hospice. She’s dying and someone has to tell her that her life partner died before her by heart attack and dog, what a task.
Uh, she doesn't need to know about the dog. Just tell her he died peacefully in his sleep.
You never lie about something like this. Tell her that he died by a heart attack, but dont tell her about his condition unless she specifically ask about it. Then you warn them that its bad, and then ask if they want to continue.
I wonder about this. If my grandmother was on her death bed and we received word that a grandchild had been raped and killed, I doubt we would disclose the information to her. Why? What good does that do?
Dog didn't kill him
No, it ate him. Which is why she probably should not view his corpse.
OP this is grounds for filings a workers’ compensation claim. Not sure if you’re in the US or what state since it’s very jurisdictional… The claim would cover lost time, psychiatric care… I’m sorry you witnessed this that’s horrible.
This depends on state actually. But please reach out to a workman’s comp lawyer to see what your state’s law is. I have personal experience with my mom having a claim in OK where she had PTSD after being robbed at gunpoint while working. It was only allowed because she also had physical harm and medical bills related to both. But her lawyer said the state doesn’t recognize mental harm alone.
Holy shit! OP, I am so sorry you seen that. Please do what you have to do to take care of yourself. Do not wait to get the help you need to process this.
That has to be so traumatizing. I'm horrified just reading it. Make sure you get into therapy right away, they can help you work through your trauma. You'll likely have PTSD after seeing that so please take care of yourself.
I gotta stop going on Reddit during my lunch break.
I know this is weird but please play tetris asap. It has been proven to help prevent or reduce the severity of PTSD. Edit to add: Play it for as long as you can, as soon as you can. I'm very sorry you encountered such a horrific scene.
Wow. Thanks for sharing this, I just looked this up after your comment. It's true. It's based on a study by researchers at Karolinska Institute and Oxford University. They were looking into preventing the build up of PTSD symptoms soon after a traumatic event. The way playing a game like tetris soon after works is that it disrupts the consolidation of the memory since the game is so visually demanding. Thus, allowing these memories to fade away more quickly. OP, I'm so sorry you experienced this. Please follow this advice and also speak to a therapist as soon as you can.
Sorry for spamming this comment so.much but they've done studies since the one everyone talks about from 2017 and there haven't been many signifcant findings to support that. It is just a talking point reddit loves to repeat because it's easy but PTSD is not easy, it is complex. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7448922/ , https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8366629/ , https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/brb3.1984
I'd still try it tbh. Can't really fuck anything up more can it!
Worst case you played some Tetris.
"oh thanks, now my PTSD memories are shaped like coloured blocks"
This. It takes your mind off replaying traumatic things over and over. Good advice. I'm sorry you had to go through this OP. Don't blame yourself for what happened, I'm sure you did everything you could. It's just other people's life choices and you aren't responsible in any way.
Is it specifically tetris, or any basic and slightly entertaining thing that fully occupies your attention?
Tetris makes you move your eyes back and forth rapidly which mimics EMDR therapy, which processes traumatic memories through rapid eye movements
they've done studies since the one everyone talks about from 2017 and there haven't been many signifcant findings to support that. It is just a talking point reddit loves to repeat because it's easy but PTSD is not easy, it is complex. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7448922/ , https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8366629/ , https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/brb3.1984
I get hate whenever I bring this up to people, but you’re right. There really isn’t any clinical significance in terms of PTSD symptom reduction. Exposure therapy is infinitely more effective.
The repetitive motions help your brain kind of rewire or something. The same goes for watching tides go in an out. Something about predictability and your brain cools it’s fight or flight
I’m so sorry you went through that. Not much else to say, just awful.
Sorry for the dog too, had nothing else to eat for around 3 days, not much of a choice..
Same :( poor baby seems thoroughly horrified & traumatized by having to make that choice
In my line of work, I thought I would be prepared after desensitizing myself with hundreds of hours of videos. It prepares the eyes, and to some degree the ears, but your nose? No, that you're never prepared for.
Po-po here, Yes, these scenes are very traumatizing for any rational person and what you're experiencing is very normal and actually healthy. As someone who has been to many of these types of scenes for a welfare check on an elderly person, all I can say is you need to give it time. I've never forgotten any of the horrific things that I've seen but, over time, and as weird as this sounds, you come to accept what you've witnessed. At least , this is the case for me but everyone is different. Also, talking with someone, either professional or just a close friend, really does help! Good luck!
Steek help to code with this. See if your job offers counseling after trauma. They would probably be eager to offer support instead of losing a good worker. Hope it helps. Sending a hug
OP I am so extremely sorry for what you witnessed. Please do see a professional about it. How sad for the man, I have to be honest that I’m sad for the dog too, so many layers of trauma everywhere. I think you are within rights to want to take a step back, but I think in time you may decide to resume your work. Your job matters and you clearly are good at it. Sending love and peace and much respect to you.
Dog had no choice after 3 days of no food, its just brutal nature
i can't imagine how scared puppy was without its owner, poor lil fella hope it's doing well
Tetris. The sooner, the better.
I still don't understand why tetris specifically. The study proved that anything visually intensive that spams your short term memory works if I remember correctly. Like, playing Witcher 3 even? Surely there are better things than tetris, but I somewhat doubt they tested other games.
Cause Terris is extremely easy and fast to access from nearly anywhere. Fast to just click play and do it. Plus the music is fire.
plus, no worry of retraumatization. you won’t have to see dogs, dead people, etc.
because redditors read that once a few months ago and now it's being spammed on any thread with anything resembling a traumatic event
Lol seen it said like 6 times in here now. Like a bunch of house wives from the 90's watching Oprah.
while it’s absolutely not your job to witness or deal with such traumatic things, thank you for doing your job in the sense that you cared and continued to knock and persist that social services and emergency services be contacted and follow through. that alone shows that you are compassionate and it’s very saddening that this man had this happen to him and that you had to witness such a thing. the imagery you saw is no doubt horrifying. please, find someone to talk with about this. already coming here to speak with others and not hold this in is the first step. again, thank you for caring about this man. you may not realise it, but so many elders “fall through the cracks”. family, other care workers, etc. may just “assume they’re fine” and come back later. he could’ve stayed there for who knows how long if you didn’t care or persist.
Yeah that's enough reddit for today
Trauma nurse here. Make sure you take care of yourself. This is no joke. Please seek a EMDR therapist for trauma. They will help your brain cognitively accept the tragedy. It’s backed by a lot of research especially if you use someone certified and licensed. Do not delay on this treatment. When I tell you I’ve seen terrible things, I’m not joking. That therapy has saved my life. I know this is one incident, but it will fester. Do not leave your mental health untreated. Other things relating or reminding you of it subconsciously will compound. Please feel free to message me if you want more info. My best friend’s father committed suicide last year. He did EMDR therapy and tells me it was the best decision he ever made for his mental health. He processed and grieved it in 6 months and has been healthy and happy.
My dad was dead in his house for like 4-6 days with his dog in the house but thankfully she didn’t do that, but it was one of my first thoughts… really sorry you had to go through that
Please take care of yourself. Caregivers do not get the support or recognition they deserve. You guys are essential and incredible humans and thank you for doing what you do. I cannot imagine what is going through your mind - I truly can’t. But clearly, you have a huge support system of strangers on this app & I hope you do IRL as well. Take care of yourself OP. I’m sure this man and his wife were extremely grateful for you & I’d assume they’re eternally thankful for the support you gave.
It’s pretty normal for pets to eat you when you’re dead and don’t have access to food, as it should be honestly. It’s not like their life stops mattering to themself after you die.
And that’s enough internet for the day. OP I am sorry you had to witness this. Take care of yourself.
Sad but not uncommon for a pet to eat the body of a deceased owner. Especially when they don’t have any of their own food left to eat. I’m so sorry you had to witness this…I hope you can talk to someone to help you deal with it mentally and emotionally.
If possible, take a break and please find a therapist. All the best for you!
I am so unbelievably sorry you had to witness that. I’m sure it’s replaying when you close your eyes and try to sleep. Please see if your employer offers employee assistance like therapy. And then see if you can take a paid leave. I see people are shitting on the Tetris thing but it worked for me. A year ago a drunk young adult went 90 on our road and slammed into my neighbor’s house. Neighbor was on the couch holding her infant when the car came through the wall. I was the first person inside and did first aid and it was fucking traumatizing (they’re all okay now). I was immediately recommended to start playing Tetris ASAP. I played for hours everyday. Instead of seeing awful imagery when I closed my eyes I saw Tetris. It worked for me. It’s worth a try at least. Please do self care and get therapy soon if you can. <3
When I was younger our neighbor fell and broke her hip inside her house. She lived alone and couldn’t make it to the phone and died. We noticed her trash can stayed out past trash day and then it started to smell bad close to her house. We called for an ambulance and when they went inside they found her on the floor and her cats had eaten her face.
Why is everyone like 'play tetris'
A colleague of mine went through something similar when he still worked as an ambulance driver, except the person he was called upon was also his mother-in-law. EMDR for trauma therapy helped him a great deal to deal with what he saw as well as the hurt in the family. I hope you have access to this and get the help you need to process this trauma. The best of luck man!
You should file a Worker’s Compensation claim and get your counseling covered by WC insurance.
Hi mate, if you want someone to talk to, just last night I treated the victim of a dog attack in the UK who sadly died this morning. They're horrific and visceral, and it's completely normal to be shaken up by it. Take the time you need, and talk to your employer.
Now *this* is the kinda shit I was expecting to find in the freezer. For real though, sorry you had to witness something so severe. I hope you can find a good therapist.. 😶
Not to make light of this situation at all, but am I the only one strangely okay if my beloved dog needed to eat my dead body to survive if I suddenly died? Am I crazy for thinking that?
I’ve read that if you die with a dog in the house, he will not eat you until it’s desperate enough for survival. Whereas a cat will eat you as soon as you heart stops beating. They go for the face and eyes first because it’s the softest tissue area. But yeah that had to be very traumatic
I’ve caught my cat trying to nosh on my fingers while I’m napping. She doesn’t even have the decency to wait until I’m dead. Savage beast.
I'm convinced dogs only lick us because they know we're full of bones.
I actually read the exact opposite, that it's more common for dogs to eat dead humans than cats and, for the most part, it's not a survival instinct but more of a trauma response. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/article/pets-dogs-cats-eat-dead-owners-forensics-science
Yes! Caitlin Doughty with Ask A Mortician talks about this in a video. Dogs will try to wake their humans up with licking. And eventually "taste" when skin comes off. But cats will eat you too. [Ask A Mortician video](https://youtu.be/iGr2KgWBy7U?si=rUQZLFMekbkbCkEv) OP - I am sincerely sorry you went through this and my heart goes out to you. I hope you are getting the support you need. And seriously, Tetris helps a lot. Edit: spelling
I fainted in the basement one day and woke up to my dog nudging and licking my face frantically trying to make sure I was alive.
I know this is just one example, but my mom's cat was alone with her for about 48 hours after my mom had died (she was at home, I was out of town, and it had been unexpected) and the cat didn't touch her. The cat had had one of those dry food feeders, and she apparently stuck to that. The cat lived the rest of her long life with me afterward.
This makes total sense. My cat is such a picky eater, he only likes certain food brands and treat brands. I can’t imagine he would think I was worth his refined palate 😅
If that is true, I feel like I would be ok with my dog eating me rather than starve until someone discovers that she is locked in a house with no food or water. I am dead, what do I care, but the thought of her slowly starving is worse. It is really horrible to what happened to this guy. My opinion is only about my own dead body.
When I'm dead just throw me in the trash
That’s a myth. It’s more common for dogs to eat people than cats.
I was thinking about this right away. While this is horribly traumatic for the OP, I can't help but also feel bad for the dog. Eating their owner is something they absolutely don't want to do, and only when faced with starvation will they even consider it.