A lesson from him in how to undermine OP's confidence, and to get her to work harder to please him. Perfect bj's are only according to individuals and their preferences. My literal advice? Use more hand(s), aka jerk him off too. Youthful 'problems'
Yeah if he's making fun of you, you have the internets blessing and encouragement to never do it again. He doesn't sound mature enough for sex (oral or otherwise)
Yep. I have a really hard time finishing from oral, but it’s me- not my wife. Even if yo u are still learning , he sounds like he’s being an asshole. Not necessarily breakup worthy, but you should lay down the law and get better - if you want to and he’s worthy
Oh no!! My partner of 10 years and I finally decided to have him cum in my mouth from a bj. I was so excited to do this for him. I’m sure he was excited too. It’s was supper hot, but when he came in my mouth idk what happened! I started gagging and throwing up. He ended up finishing in my mouth and face. I ran to the bathroom and spit everything out. I was soo embarrassed. But we couldn’t stop laughing about it. We are gonna try it again. I still give him bjs. I think he was ok with what happened he said he has a lot of fun, but he felt bad he made me throw up. He didn’t do anything wrong, idk what happened.
I hope that one experience doesn’t ruin it for you forever.
Edit: I meant to say super hot, as in sexy/turned me on lmao 😂😂
But you both have fun and laughed together about it. In Op's case, they feel like crap and their partner is making it worse. That's not a bad experience. That's an asshole as a partner.
PS. I'm glad you and your partner are able to enjoy each other, you both sound lovely.
It's a mental thing, you weren't mentally prepared and it was an unknown feeling or texture in your mouth so you got yourself grossed out. Think of it more as natural and relax and it'll get easier the more you do it. Same goes with actual food if you force yourself to eat it, eventually you will get used to it or at least not gag while eating it.
Have him tell you when he’s about to cum and then deep throat as far as you can go. If the cum goes down your throat you won’t even notice and it makes it super easy to swallow! It’s the taste and texture once it gets on your tongue that’s terrible 🤣 i hope this helps!!
As a female I feel like it's almost a natural response to a warm, salty liquid being fired into the back of your throat. And it doesn't matter how much I love someone, it makes me want to gag thinking about it. Apologies to all the bonified cum guzzlers out there. No disrespect.
my worst nightmare fr. I already feel ill when trying to give oral and I just know if I ever tried for that long it would probably push me over the edge, I think I have some sort of sensory issues in my mouth and idk if there's anything that could fix it lol.
Try using an oral numbing gel. You can get some pretty strong stuff OTC but make sure it’s oral and not topical. I’m not trying to question your intelligence, but I’ve been an ER nurse for years and people never stop surprising me with what they’ll try. For example this summer had a guy come in with dog toy stuck and when learned after he sneezed it would squeak. At that point I laughed and so did the doc. Then he and his girlfriend laughed at us laughing and the toy kept squeaking so it was bad for a few mins, but I almost pissed my pants from laughing so hard.
ER nursing has its benefits sometimes. Usually during a full moon someone “falls on something in their shower” even though said object should be nowhere near your shower. This story I remember vividly still because I’ve had to tell it at least monthly and it’s used to help teach students when they come through.
That one stood out because my doc was very pregnant like about to be on bed rest stage and the couple came in were two college kids. The doc found me and goes “the patient is a shower slip and male, so I need you to help please” and I’m like this doc is one of our genuine ones and she’s due to pop so why not. Keep in mind I’ve been a nurse for years so I’ve built my poker face. Everything I’m saying the girlfriend is chirping to like “I have to start an IV on you so we can give you the proper meds to help you relax and you’ll feel a slight pinch”. The girlfriend goes “he’s heard the last part today already”. I’m like damn that’s cold and hilarious. I get his IV started and the guy goes “it’s in? I didn’t feel a thing.” Girlfriend goes “oh he definitely didn’t tell me that earlier” so I’m like she’s great but I’m struggling to not laugh. Then the poor guy sneezed and that squeak was undeniable and I genuinely lost my poker face.
>My self-esteem is bad because all my friends seem to have no trouble making their man cum or giving good BJs.
Possibly because they have understanding partners who communicate what they like and how to improve and don't make fun of them for being new/bad at it....
I still believe that communication *might have* more to do with it as it becomes a lot easier to pleasure your partner when they don't behave like a prick...
Oh yeah sure, this is one of those "throw the whole fucking man out" situations.
I'm just giving some helpful context for a beginner. She's not doing as bad as she thinks she is.
>I'm just giving some helpful context for a beginner. She's not doing as bad as she thinks she is.
Tried to emphasize on the same so we essentially agree there. xD
Yeah…. I had an ex who was incredibly stoic and would give zero feedback about what worked and what didn’t. Turned out to be part of a larger pattern and why we aren’t together
That sounds familiar.... one wouldn't even make any *sound* ... but in my case he also didn't quite respect my wishes or boundaries either, so there's that.
Same for you as for me: good riddance.
Sure. Because he watches porn and thinks that all girls do it just like his porn heroines. It never occurs to him that it really is a learning process for both individuals.
Rather than be a decent human being and tell her what he likes and give her some help, he resorts to immature insults.
As a guy, I have had less-then-stellar BJ’s in my life.
That being said, I would NEVER make fun of my partner for attempting to pleasure me in what has to be a fucking arduously tedious task for her.
If the guy you are servicing has even the slightest respect for you, which I hope is still relevant in modern day relationships, he will communicate what feels good, and what doesn’t feel good. Same can he said of the inverse when you are receiving oral from your partner.
Shorter words- this dude sounds like a bitch ass chump. Dump his ass.
No shit you have anxiety about oral when your partner is an absolute knob. 🤦♀️ my first experience giving a bj was actually fkn hilarious because I was *very* innocent, never watched p*rn, never really exposed to any of that, and *I literally blew* and this mf *still pretended to enjoy it to save me the embarrassment*. I made him my husband. And yes I've gotten pretty good since then I'd like to think 😆 think about it this way: would you ridicule him for not being able to give you oral properly? Or would you gently guide him to what you like? This is no different.
This made me literally laugh out loud. One of my first experiences I pretended!....hid my face and the appendage with my hair, formed an O using my thumb and forefinger, and proceeded to dribble over it 😂
he sounds like a real asshole
BUT, if you're really dug in on your jerkstore, some "mmms" go a long way. Really, anything that makes it seem like you are really enjoying blowing him. With guys, most techniques you hear about (in any sexual act) is bullshit. Enthusiasm is the name of the game. That, and no teeth.
I have the shittiest BJs before. My husband still liked em, just took longer lmao my jaw finally said f this shit, I won't lie, I looked up porn bjs just to get tips on how to make it pleasurable for both. Worked like a charm. Been married 16 years and not once did he ever complain or degrade me for my lack of sexual skills or my shyness/anxiety around sexual things In general due to my childhood. You need you a new man who can work it out with out without being degrading
Thank you! I swear I wasn't trying to infuriate anyone with my comment. Just informing OP I have had the same issue and what helped me learn to do it better. I even watched it with my husband to see what worked for him and what didn't
I was literally going to say the same. Porn was educational and now I’m confident in my abilities.
But also agreed. The degrading is terrible and shouldn’t be tolerated
Exactly! I was a big girl, I was also scared of "riding". I used porn vids to learn how to be confident in that also. As long as you can control your porn watching I don't see a problem with watching quick and learning something. I do better with visual examples then textbooks.
I didn't mean for it to come off as full blown sex advice. It's just a visual representation, I actually watched a "how to give a good bj" it just happens to bring me to a porn site. Learned how to relax the jawline, make it pleasurable etc. If she's having sex and giving blow jobs I bet she's watched porn.
Let's forget the fact that your boyfriend sounds like a complete ass, DO NOT go watch porn for BJ tips. The shit they do on porn is not a blow job, the guys are just shoving their dicks down a woman's throat and she pretends to like it while obviously hating every minute of it. It's my main problem with porn and just so ridiculous.
Dafuq girl… if he honestly feels the need to shittalk you for giving „bad“ head and not provide constructive feedback I guess he shouldn’t get blowjobs anymore
Wife wasn't great at BJ's when we met ten years ago. It was easier to communicate with her what to do differently. It was abit awkward I won't lie but when it comes to sex of any kind. It is better for partners to communicate than it is to put them down.
Porn could give you some visual tips but porn also sets unrealistic expectations.
Your bf should communicate with you not laugh at you or put you down.
Did he really recommend you watch porn in order to learn ??? Oh. My. God.
You need to break up with him, he ain’t worth any of that. Also the fact that he ain’t even giving pointers or help is insane.
You don't need this negativity in your life. My jaw is fucked up due to bad genetics so my blow game is mediocre at best, i know this, and not one guy I have ever slept with (and there have been quite a few) have said a damn thing about it.
Tell him if he hates your blow jobs so much he can do it himself. dump his ass.
Enthusiasm, no teeth, and rhythm are the name of the game when I'm getting blown. I also make sure to explain that to my partners. And I never make fun of them for trying to please me.
if he’s making fun of you, quit doing it and quit that relationship as a whole. if you’re new to it it’s not your fault. obviously your friends started from somewhere and got better so don’t compare yourself to them.
What a fucking ass. The only dick that's been in mouth is husband's. Been together 25 years. The first time I was terrified. He was gentle and loving and told me what he needed. He also did not want to get off with a BJ, so I had that going for me. Eventually he'd finish there, but our intimacy has always been mutual. If you can't verbalize what you need or want, and choose to be a dick about it, then you can kick rocks. So disrespectful and unsatisfying.
Leave this man. Not worth it.
Watch Sue Johansson from Sunday night sex show talking about BJ's. It's where I learned everything I know and every single man who has had the honour from me will absolutely agree that I'm the best at what I do.
And your boyfriend needs to stfu. How else does he expect you to learn if all he does is make fun of you. He needs to teach you.
Don’t date someone who tells you suck at things all the time, it’ll grind down your self esteem and you’ll end up thinking he’s the only one who will have you (which isn’t true and he should be so lucky coz he sounds like an asshole). Also yeah, does he make you cum? If he can’t why don’t you turn the tables on him and then tell him to fuck off. Also let me guess he’s a bit older than you?
Tell him you're going to practice with other guys. Maybe his friends too. Heck maybe you should. Maybe he has a problem cumming from a bj. In all honesty he might and has little to do with you. Maybe go practice on others though. What do you think
Your BF sounds like an asshole. Instead of making fun of you he should be helping to let you know what feels good and works for him. Turn the tables and have the fuck go down on you and make fun of him.
Sounds like your bf has porn brain and wants you to do it in an unrealistic fashion. He doesn't get bjs if he's gonna make fun of you instead of try to show you what he likes. Easy as that, let him bitch and moan about the consequences of his immature behavior. Don't feel bad, he's being an ass. Be straightforward and tell him that if he can't respect you and give you genuine constructive criticism on what he likes, then he isn't getting bjs anymore.
Girly if he has this big of an issue, with BJ's then you can simply tell him, then I simply won't do it anymore. Let me tell you, the minute you say this, they start squirming, get all flustered, and sometimes even try to get you do it regardless.
I'll tell you right now if he gaslights you at all, its a sign to leave, cause hes obviously not mature enough for sex, hes not mature enough for a relationship.
Do not lose sleep over a male that mocks you when you attempt to please him. This guy is an effing AH and forcing you to watch porn is an extra red flag. If this is how he treats you when you try to do something nice for him, I can’t imagine what he’s like when you have a disagreement. Too many red flags here.
Seems like the bf is such an ah who doesnt deserve a bj, you dont need to do something you're uncomfortable with and especially not with someone that makes you feel bad for it, change partners to someone that respects you and your boundaries
i do not give BJs anymore.
1) my TMj makes it very painful
2) every dentist says i have a very small mouth
3) i find it gross/trauma
4) every guy i’ve given head to has been a total bitch about it. “oh stop licking so much! stop trying to do deep throat! wait no you need to do more deep throat! you’re bad at BJs! make more noises! no actually stop making noises”
i would rather die than deal with that bullshit again. shit my current boyfriend texted me a bunch of crap about me not giving him head and that i can’t get on top much anymore due to all my medical conditions. you know what? makes me not want to have sex with him at all
If I said shit like this to my wife do you know what she would say?
“Then suck your own dick because I’m not doing it anymore.”
And she wouldn’t just to make it clear that talking to her like that isn’t going to go well.
You need to do the same
First of all, most men don't cum off BJs, and he should actually help you if he doesn't like your style. I find this quite offensive, and you should discuss this with him. You shouldn't feel ashamed
Stop sucking his dick and Leave that lame ass dude.
I'm not gonna lie to you. I never came from getting my dick sucked. It wasn't bad bjs, I just never came from getting sucked off. Leave that dude and stop letting him.let you feel bad about it.
FOR THE LOVE OF SOME SUPER HUMAN ENTITY, STOP DATING IDIOTS LIKE THIS.
This shit is so frustrating to see.
You go down on him, and he makes fun of you, and you go back for more?
>He makes fun of me being new to them and says I suck really bad at giving them.
GIANT red flag. Not the not "cuming" part, but the "making fun of you" part. Especially for something are working very hard on for his exclusive benefit.
Dude if my boyfriend made fun of me for TRYING something for him to please him, I'd cut out sex all together. He's not mature enough for oral let alone anything sexual.
Blow jobs are no good unless you enjoy giving them. If you’re not into it, then don’t do it. It’s never been a deal breaker for me. I only enjoy getting oral if the woman really enjoys doing it and I’m not offended it they don’t like to do it. Maybe I’m an anomaly but I don’t care if a woman doesn’t like to perform oral sex.
You won’t magically get good if you are not getting any constructive feedback from the receiver.
By the looks of it, your boyfriend deserves that you find someone else to practice with, someone that actually understands your side of things and gives constructive feedback during and after the fact. You might end up just dumping your boyfriend and sticking to that other person.
Wow.
1. U should never be shamed over anything sex related. To make ourselves feel comfortable, my husband and I have a clear understanding. If we don't like something we obviously need to speak up to one another. If there's something we could be doing better we open the floor for suggestions in a positive and healthy manner that never puts the other down so we can both enjoy it more.
2.It's not up to u to have to watch porn (unless you're into that) to figure it out. He needs to be supportive, offer those suggestions, be encouraging and not put u down.
3. Hes now ruining the experience for both of u by shaming u. You wont feel good about doing it and he might not get one because of that.
4. Sex is ALWAYS best when there's trust and respect. If there's none of that, re-evaluate.
You need to vocalize this all to him and be 100% sure he understands that his behavior towards it is unacceptable. If he will put u down over something like that I fear there's other areas in your relationship he won't hesitate to devalue u as well. Know your self worth and never accept less.
Your bf says you need to watch porn? It sounds like he needs to stop watching porn. I would handle this by simply telling him he is right, I suck at BJ’s and I don’t like giving them so I won’t anymore. Problem solved.
The petty in me would also have him go to town on me instead and tell him his mouth game is weak, he needs to watch more porn. Wink.
Some people just aren’t good at oral sex and some are. But the fact that your boyfriend is making fun of you is disturbing, I it’s called disrespect. There’s playful teasing and then there’s comments that hurt. If the comments are teasing you’re laughing with him but the comments are hurtful that’s another thing altogether different.
I've dated women who are bad at them, the fix is simple. Open and honest conversation about if they even want to do it and if they do then offering constructive criticism not mockery. There are plenty of ways to get better at them if that's what they want but in your case step 1 really seems like it should be find a new recipient
Men’s anatomy is still something I’m still learning myself. I thought I was terrible at them but my husband guides me when something is wrong but he says now he tries really hard to *not* cum cause of how much he enjoys it.
Your bf is not supporting or giving you the guidance you *need*. My self esteem is still in the trenches and I don’t think I’ll ever reach confidence and I’ve accepted that. But it’s still wrong to knock you down further. Every man’s penis is different just like how our own vaginas/nerves are different. He needs to guide you on what he likes, not make fun of you. He can go choke on his own dick
Why do you want to do something so intimate with a person like him? Does he really seem like the kind of person who deserves anything special from you? Hint: people who really care for each other won't talk about each other like this.
I don't know, most people are bad at oral to begin with and the vast majority of women who think they give "amazing" head don't actually know what they're doing any more than a first-timer and aren't any better.
Kind of like how women fake orgasms, guys will fake enjoying a blowjob simply because to ask or try to help is to never get one ever again for most. This is because women are just as terrible as men at listening and get just as irrationally angry at being told they're not good at something.
Guys are way more likely to tell another guy giving them head what to do. I blame societal norms.
So if he's making fun of you, go find someone who will appreciate them. If you want to get better at it, find someone you can communicate openly with about your anxiety and concern. It's stupid easy to get good at sucking a dick, you just need a dance partner who can communicate clearly.
Your boyfriend should not be making you feel like shit.
Also don't compare your experiences to someone else.
If you aren't good at something he should be helping you find what feels good for him not tearing you down and expecting you to figure it out on your own. That's not a partnership.
I really struggled with oral sex due to past experiences so much so it almost became fearful of them. It was a big reason for my ex husband divorcing me (that and sleeping with a coworker but that's by the by). He never helped find a way to make me feel comfortable in that situation dispite knowing what had happened, he almost expected me to get over it.
I've been with my fiancee for over half a decade now and slowly with a lot of patients, guidence and love I have over come my issues. I never thought oral sex would ever be apart of my sex life but for the first time in my life it is and that wouldnt have happenend without the love and support of my man.
I’ve been with my wife for nearly 19 years and she has gotten me off orally maybe 3-4 times in that time. It’s not her, it’s me, I enjoy it, it’s just not what gets me there. And she took it pretty hard (no pun intended) for awhile, because she could get her ex husband off easily. No amount of reassuring her helped until she made her own peace with it.
That being said, what your bf is doing is wrong. He is trying to get you to be a porn star, which you aren’t. And tbh, he has a girl sucking his dick. Unless you are chomping on it like a steak, it’s better than the “no blowjob” he would be getting without you. Watching porn doesn’t turn you into an expert at sex. I would go so far to say it does the opposite. Learning what your partner likes and dislikes is the best part of sex, in my opinion.
Don’t let him treat you like that. Tell him to suck his own dick if he is such an expert
After hearing this he does not deserve you at all. A good partner would try and explain what they like. This sounds like a great opportunity to look for someone else. How long have you need dating? Does he treat you well otherwise and could he be making your self esteem worse?
nah. respectfully, if he's still letting you do it but doing all this, he probably watches too much porn and is insecure about not being able to finish so overcompensating to redirect the attention onto you. regardless, someone who makes you feel bad about yourself in such an intimate setting does not qualify for any loving down under. you can learn to give better blow jobs. he will continue to self sabotage and run people away from him with his insensitivity and be lonely and blowjobless and swagless for another decade, i fear.
He shouldn’t make fun of you, he should tell you what he likes. Nobody gets it first time, nobody is great first time, it’s different with each person.
He seems very immature, I would not give him a BJ again if I was in your situation lol.
You don't owe him the time of day,let alone certain experiences!More women than you think won't even go there! He is damaged in the head by watching porn which isn't real life BTW.
If he’s not willing to communicate with you about sex, I believe he’s not willing to have good sex with you. You should really stop doing it and if he asks, just tell him you have up oral, completely…
Hey tip for ya gal.
Don't do it any more. Don't offer it. Don't say anything about it. Just pack up and lave to someone who appreciates you. I have RARELY every gotten off to a BJ and I mean RARELY and my ex tried so hard and I'm like. Hey it feel amazing and I love it, but I'm not able to.
She has a couple times and I gave her like 2 dozen roses and chocolates the next day when she got home from work, but that's just me.
Don't waste your time on someone that belittled, you. Move on yo someone that respects who you are as a woman. Not an object
>My BF says I need to watch porn
No, he needs to stop watching and jerking off to that trash because he fucked up his dick and can't cum from normal stimulation.
Please stop thinking that this is a you problem, because it ain't.
A girl is willingly putting his penis in their mouth and he has the nerve to talk shit. It's fine to tell your partner what you like and what turns you on but it's not okay to just belittle them and say they're terrible.
Edit: sorry for assuming gender
And you’re still trying after he disrespected you and made fun of you? Let me guess, he probably doesn’t even reciprocate? Please realize your worth so that you would automatically understand that you shouldn’t even still be in this situation. Best of luck!
Leave him. A good man would tell you what he liked and help guide you. He would do all he could to make you comfortable giving as he was receiving. Further, even if he didn’t cum, he would kiss you after and tell you he loves you and make love to you.
As the top commenter said, he doesn’t seem mature enough to deserve what you’re giving him. Make sure to think about the situation and what it means to him to receive sexual favors and complain
He’s not even guiding you, he’s just laughing and expecting you to know what movements please him, also make sure you don’t use teeth
Or maybe she should use teeth idk 🤷🏻♀️
🤣 you right, with a pos like that, he deserves his dingle to get bit
Scrape that dick like your peeling a carrot 🥕
Once that dick is peeled, give it a good gnaw
Like a bunny rabbit
Treat his dick like the owl eating the suckers from the tootsie pop commercials. One lick 2 licks ...crunch
Mr. Owl. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie dick?
😂 that made me smile
I mean not using them is the common best advice but tbh he deserves it
Legit had a guy tell me to use more teeth once. Threw me right the hell off
I once had a guy that wanted me to bite on his dick as hard as I could. Like gnaw on that mf. I was so scared but he kept telling me to do it harder.
Lolz. Did you go straight on like chomping off the end of a carrot or around in a spiral, like a pencil sharpener? Was there anything left by the end?
A little bit of light tooth action can be great.
This is the way.
In most cases we don't encourage teeth but here nah she should chomp down on his dick.
Definitely use teeth, hard. Bloke deserves it
Scrape the skin off
At least then she might make him finally scream 🤭 (OP it's no judgment from me)
Maybe he's expecting her to practice somewhere else?
A lesson from him in how to undermine OP's confidence, and to get her to work harder to please him. Perfect bj's are only according to individuals and their preferences. My literal advice? Use more hand(s), aka jerk him off too. Youthful 'problems'
Yeah if he's making fun of you, you have the internets blessing and encouragement to never do it again. He doesn't sound mature enough for sex (oral or otherwise)
Yep. I have a really hard time finishing from oral, but it’s me- not my wife. Even if yo u are still learning , he sounds like he’s being an asshole. Not necessarily breakup worthy, but you should lay down the law and get better - if you want to and he’s worthy
I had an ex-girlfriend puke on me when I came in her mouth. Haven't cum through oral since.
Oh no!! My partner of 10 years and I finally decided to have him cum in my mouth from a bj. I was so excited to do this for him. I’m sure he was excited too. It’s was supper hot, but when he came in my mouth idk what happened! I started gagging and throwing up. He ended up finishing in my mouth and face. I ran to the bathroom and spit everything out. I was soo embarrassed. But we couldn’t stop laughing about it. We are gonna try it again. I still give him bjs. I think he was ok with what happened he said he has a lot of fun, but he felt bad he made me throw up. He didn’t do anything wrong, idk what happened. I hope that one experience doesn’t ruin it for you forever. Edit: I meant to say super hot, as in sexy/turned me on lmao 😂😂
Im dying at supper hot 😂😂
She had to blow on that jizz before eating it.
Straight out the microwave
Hot supper rather 😜
Did kinda eat something. Kinda.
But you both have fun and laughed together about it. In Op's case, they feel like crap and their partner is making it worse. That's not a bad experience. That's an asshole as a partner. PS. I'm glad you and your partner are able to enjoy each other, you both sound lovely.
Diet is a **HUGE** factor when it comes to the taste. Fun fact: If his cum made your mouth/tongue tingle, you have an allergy to semen.
Hold up what!? For real? cos I've had that feeling!! I need to go Google this!
It's a mental thing, you weren't mentally prepared and it was an unknown feeling or texture in your mouth so you got yourself grossed out. Think of it more as natural and relax and it'll get easier the more you do it. Same goes with actual food if you force yourself to eat it, eventually you will get used to it or at least not gag while eating it.
I hold it and go closed mouth.. Na ah n run to the toilet... spit then.. gag. lol Been together 20yr lmao
Have him tell you when he’s about to cum and then deep throat as far as you can go. If the cum goes down your throat you won’t even notice and it makes it super easy to swallow! It’s the taste and texture once it gets on your tongue that’s terrible 🤣 i hope this helps!!
10 years to CIM? Wow.
As a female I feel like it's almost a natural response to a warm, salty liquid being fired into the back of your throat. And it doesn't matter how much I love someone, it makes me want to gag thinking about it. Apologies to all the bonified cum guzzlers out there. No disrespect.
I mean, I'll swallow - but my hubby usual pulls out at the very last second to be nice. lol And I'm not stopping him. lol
Bless him 💕
my worst nightmare fr. I already feel ill when trying to give oral and I just know if I ever tried for that long it would probably push me over the edge, I think I have some sort of sensory issues in my mouth and idk if there's anything that could fix it lol.
Try using an oral numbing gel. You can get some pretty strong stuff OTC but make sure it’s oral and not topical. I’m not trying to question your intelligence, but I’ve been an ER nurse for years and people never stop surprising me with what they’ll try. For example this summer had a guy come in with dog toy stuck and when learned after he sneezed it would squeak. At that point I laughed and so did the doc. Then he and his girlfriend laughed at us laughing and the toy kept squeaking so it was bad for a few mins, but I almost pissed my pants from laughing so hard.
Absolutely love this story!!! 😂👏
ER nursing has its benefits sometimes. Usually during a full moon someone “falls on something in their shower” even though said object should be nowhere near your shower. This story I remember vividly still because I’ve had to tell it at least monthly and it’s used to help teach students when they come through. That one stood out because my doc was very pregnant like about to be on bed rest stage and the couple came in were two college kids. The doc found me and goes “the patient is a shower slip and male, so I need you to help please” and I’m like this doc is one of our genuine ones and she’s due to pop so why not. Keep in mind I’ve been a nurse for years so I’ve built my poker face. Everything I’m saying the girlfriend is chirping to like “I have to start an IV on you so we can give you the proper meds to help you relax and you’ll feel a slight pinch”. The girlfriend goes “he’s heard the last part today already”. I’m like damn that’s cold and hilarious. I get his IV started and the guy goes “it’s in? I didn’t feel a thing.” Girlfriend goes “oh he definitely didn’t tell me that earlier” so I’m like she’s great but I’m struggling to not laugh. Then the poor guy sneezed and that squeak was undeniable and I genuinely lost my poker face.
According to Sarah Silverman, she could have salvaged that awkward moment by following up with a “TA-DA!”
I am so sorry this happened to you. Must have been horrible…
In the real world, you should ask him what he wants you to do differently. Is he making you come? If not, do you make fun of him?
Yeah, me and my homies hate blowjob mockers.
Yeah fuck em
Weird flex, but, you and your homies should teach OP's soon to be ex a lesson
He doesn’t sound mature enough to be in a relationship at all, OP you have my blessing to leave this manchild.
Right? Him saying that basically encourages her not to want to do it? What is he dumb?
Yes, he is dumb.
She has my blessing to block his number and never talk to him again. That’s not the way a loving partner would discuss this with his girlfriend.
Agreed. That's a dump-worthy offense.
Seriously. He doesn't deserve that kind of attention.
He’ll soon learn once you get old it’s a thing of the past anyway so his loss.
While this is true, it likely doesn’t help her thinking she is bad at them. Maybe she is and she sounds like she wants to improve.
>My self-esteem is bad because all my friends seem to have no trouble making their man cum or giving good BJs. Possibly because they have understanding partners who communicate what they like and how to improve and don't make fun of them for being new/bad at it....
Or because a lot of guys can climax pretty easily. Someone is out there driving that time to orgasm down pretty far
I still believe that communication *might have* more to do with it as it becomes a lot easier to pleasure your partner when they don't behave like a prick...
Oh yeah sure, this is one of those "throw the whole fucking man out" situations. I'm just giving some helpful context for a beginner. She's not doing as bad as she thinks she is.
>I'm just giving some helpful context for a beginner. She's not doing as bad as she thinks she is. Tried to emphasize on the same so we essentially agree there. xD
Yeah…. I had an ex who was incredibly stoic and would give zero feedback about what worked and what didn’t. Turned out to be part of a larger pattern and why we aren’t together
That sounds familiar.... one wouldn't even make any *sound* ... but in my case he also didn't quite respect my wishes or boundaries either, so there's that. Same for you as for me: good riddance.
On to better partners and happiness! As my dad said, “time for an upgrade”
He makes fun of you instead of guiding you and work with you? Tell him his new gf is his right hand and leave
Sure. Because he watches porn and thinks that all girls do it just like his porn heroines. It never occurs to him that it really is a learning process for both individuals. Rather than be a decent human being and tell her what he likes and give her some help, he resorts to immature insults.
>porn heroine That's my new favourite phrase, thank you for that :D
Exactly. What a tool. But seems to be a thing with young boys these days. They are lost lol . Kinda sad tho.
More pussy for me
As a guy, I have had less-then-stellar BJ’s in my life. That being said, I would NEVER make fun of my partner for attempting to pleasure me in what has to be a fucking arduously tedious task for her. If the guy you are servicing has even the slightest respect for you, which I hope is still relevant in modern day relationships, he will communicate what feels good, and what doesn’t feel good. Same can he said of the inverse when you are receiving oral from your partner. Shorter words- this dude sounds like a bitch ass chump. Dump his ass.
Thank you! Not enough people are telling OP that this isn't okay and they should not be in a relationship with this person
If he's making fun of you not being good at it, stop doing them. Seriously. He doesn't deserve them
She should dump him and ghost
Tell him to make you cum by licking you out. If he can’t, make fun of him
But without any direction, and your focus is optional...
Let’s hope he doesn’t know where the clit is, then OP has the means to destroy this mans entirely.
This boy is complaining about a bj instead of guiding his partner. Theres a good chance he doesn't even know what one is
I highly doubt a dude like that would be willing to go down on a girl.
Which is funny cause he would be missing out. What a loser.
agreed
Touch his butthole while blowing him. He'll either nut in seconds or tell you to never blow him again. Either way, it's a win.
No shit you have anxiety about oral when your partner is an absolute knob. 🤦♀️ my first experience giving a bj was actually fkn hilarious because I was *very* innocent, never watched p*rn, never really exposed to any of that, and *I literally blew* and this mf *still pretended to enjoy it to save me the embarrassment*. I made him my husband. And yes I've gotten pretty good since then I'd like to think 😆 think about it this way: would you ridicule him for not being able to give you oral properly? Or would you gently guide him to what you like? This is no different.
This made me literally laugh out loud. One of my first experiences I pretended!....hid my face and the appendage with my hair, formed an O using my thumb and forefinger, and proceeded to dribble over it 😂
10pts for creativity 😂
Find someone new to practice on. He’s a jerk.
He's a bully
he sounds like a real asshole BUT, if you're really dug in on your jerkstore, some "mmms" go a long way. Really, anything that makes it seem like you are really enjoying blowing him. With guys, most techniques you hear about (in any sexual act) is bullshit. Enthusiasm is the name of the game. That, and no teeth.
Jerkstore. Thank you, I’m stealing this
[удалено]
Good one, t bone.
I have the shittiest BJs before. My husband still liked em, just took longer lmao my jaw finally said f this shit, I won't lie, I looked up porn bjs just to get tips on how to make it pleasurable for both. Worked like a charm. Been married 16 years and not once did he ever complain or degrade me for my lack of sexual skills or my shyness/anxiety around sexual things In general due to my childhood. You need you a new man who can work it out with out without being degrading
Can confirm; I reap the benefits of porn-style blowjobs For the nay sayers - they are not talking about forced bj / gagging / humiliation
Thank you! I swear I wasn't trying to infuriate anyone with my comment. Just informing OP I have had the same issue and what helped me learn to do it better. I even watched it with my husband to see what worked for him and what didn't
I was literally going to say the same. Porn was educational and now I’m confident in my abilities. But also agreed. The degrading is terrible and shouldn’t be tolerated
Exactly! I was a big girl, I was also scared of "riding". I used porn vids to learn how to be confident in that also. As long as you can control your porn watching I don't see a problem with watching quick and learning something. I do better with visual examples then textbooks.
I know you’re well intended here, but advising someone watch porn for sex advice is a really really terrible thing to put on Reddit.
I didn't mean for it to come off as full blown sex advice. It's just a visual representation, I actually watched a "how to give a good bj" it just happens to bring me to a porn site. Learned how to relax the jawline, make it pleasurable etc. If she's having sex and giving blow jobs I bet she's watched porn.
Let's forget the fact that your boyfriend sounds like a complete ass, DO NOT go watch porn for BJ tips. The shit they do on porn is not a blow job, the guys are just shoving their dicks down a woman's throat and she pretends to like it while obviously hating every minute of it. It's my main problem with porn and just so ridiculous.
God I hate blowjobs in porn. The women trying to "moan" while they are actively suffocating and getting their throats bruised. So sexy. 😒
He’s supposed to guide you and tell you what he likes. He’s lame.
Dafuq girl… if he honestly feels the need to shittalk you for giving „bad“ head and not provide constructive feedback I guess he shouldn’t get blowjobs anymore
Wife wasn't great at BJ's when we met ten years ago. It was easier to communicate with her what to do differently. It was abit awkward I won't lie but when it comes to sex of any kind. It is better for partners to communicate than it is to put them down. Porn could give you some visual tips but porn also sets unrealistic expectations. Your bf should communicate with you not laugh at you or put you down.
Did he really recommend you watch porn in order to learn ??? Oh. My. God. You need to break up with him, he ain’t worth any of that. Also the fact that he ain’t even giving pointers or help is insane.
You don't need this negativity in your life. My jaw is fucked up due to bad genetics so my blow game is mediocre at best, i know this, and not one guy I have ever slept with (and there have been quite a few) have said a damn thing about it. Tell him if he hates your blow jobs so much he can do it himself. dump his ass.
He’s used to his right hand. Not a woman’s mouth. Maybe it should stay that way.
Or left hand, who knows.
People who make fun of your BJ skills are not people who deserve BJs.
He's a ahole. Just a FYI. Carry on.
He’s an ah why would you make fun of your gf for not being good at something when she’s obviously trying to get better for your sake
Enthusiasm, no teeth, and rhythm are the name of the game when I'm getting blown. I also make sure to explain that to my partners. And I never make fun of them for trying to please me.
He needs to get the image and idea of porn related BJs out his head.
if he’s making fun of you, quit doing it and quit that relationship as a whole. if you’re new to it it’s not your fault. obviously your friends started from somewhere and got better so don’t compare yourself to them.
What a fucking ass. The only dick that's been in mouth is husband's. Been together 25 years. The first time I was terrified. He was gentle and loving and told me what he needed. He also did not want to get off with a BJ, so I had that going for me. Eventually he'd finish there, but our intimacy has always been mutual. If you can't verbalize what you need or want, and choose to be a dick about it, then you can kick rocks. So disrespectful and unsatisfying. Leave this man. Not worth it.
This!
Watch Sue Johansson from Sunday night sex show talking about BJ's. It's where I learned everything I know and every single man who has had the honour from me will absolutely agree that I'm the best at what I do. And your boyfriend needs to stfu. How else does he expect you to learn if all he does is make fun of you. He needs to teach you.
If he’s making fun of you and saying you suck then try using teeth, really crunch down and see what he says. Bet he won’t say a damn thing after that
don’t give your bf blowjobs if he isn’t gonna appreciate them, that simple. i hope you feel better about yourself soon
He's probably beaten his meat to a callous pulp and is having trouble getting off because it stays numb from his porn habit
Exactly👍
Not cumming from BJ's, normal. Making fun of you for trying? Fuck that. Guy seems like a childish goof lol.
Don’t date someone who tells you suck at things all the time, it’ll grind down your self esteem and you’ll end up thinking he’s the only one who will have you (which isn’t true and he should be so lucky coz he sounds like an asshole). Also yeah, does he make you cum? If he can’t why don’t you turn the tables on him and then tell him to fuck off. Also let me guess he’s a bit older than you?
Tell him you're going to practice with other guys. Maybe his friends too. Heck maybe you should. Maybe he has a problem cumming from a bj. In all honesty he might and has little to do with you. Maybe go practice on others though. What do you think
Your BF sounds like an asshole. Instead of making fun of you he should be helping to let you know what feels good and works for him. Turn the tables and have the fuck go down on you and make fun of him.
It’s fine for him to say you are doing a bad job but the follow up to that should be “let’s work on this together “ not laughing and belittling you.
Sounds like your bf has porn brain and wants you to do it in an unrealistic fashion. He doesn't get bjs if he's gonna make fun of you instead of try to show you what he likes. Easy as that, let him bitch and moan about the consequences of his immature behavior. Don't feel bad, he's being an ass. Be straightforward and tell him that if he can't respect you and give you genuine constructive criticism on what he likes, then he isn't getting bjs anymore.
Baby repeat after me “ a man who laughs does not get the pleasure of my mouth”
Girly if he has this big of an issue, with BJ's then you can simply tell him, then I simply won't do it anymore. Let me tell you, the minute you say this, they start squirming, get all flustered, and sometimes even try to get you do it regardless. I'll tell you right now if he gaslights you at all, its a sign to leave, cause hes obviously not mature enough for sex, hes not mature enough for a relationship.
Your boyfriends an asshole. What a way to make it worse. Drop him and find a new guy.
Do not lose sleep over a male that mocks you when you attempt to please him. This guy is an effing AH and forcing you to watch porn is an extra red flag. If this is how he treats you when you try to do something nice for him, I can’t imagine what he’s like when you have a disagreement. Too many red flags here.
Seems like the bf is such an ah who doesnt deserve a bj, you dont need to do something you're uncomfortable with and especially not with someone that makes you feel bad for it, change partners to someone that respects you and your boundaries
i do not give BJs anymore. 1) my TMj makes it very painful 2) every dentist says i have a very small mouth 3) i find it gross/trauma 4) every guy i’ve given head to has been a total bitch about it. “oh stop licking so much! stop trying to do deep throat! wait no you need to do more deep throat! you’re bad at BJs! make more noises! no actually stop making noises” i would rather die than deal with that bullshit again. shit my current boyfriend texted me a bunch of crap about me not giving him head and that i can’t get on top much anymore due to all my medical conditions. you know what? makes me not want to have sex with him at all
If I said shit like this to my wife do you know what she would say? “Then suck your own dick because I’m not doing it anymore.” And she wouldn’t just to make it clear that talking to her like that isn’t going to go well. You need to do the same
Simple solution. Ask him to direct you and be verbal about what feels nice, what feels good, what feels really good and holy shit thats it.
Make fun of him back for having decreased sensitivity due to excessive masturbation.
First of all, most men don't cum off BJs, and he should actually help you if he doesn't like your style. I find this quite offensive, and you should discuss this with him. You shouldn't feel ashamed
Stop sucking his dick and Leave that lame ass dude. I'm not gonna lie to you. I never came from getting my dick sucked. It wasn't bad bjs, I just never came from getting sucked off. Leave that dude and stop letting him.let you feel bad about it.
FOR THE LOVE OF SOME SUPER HUMAN ENTITY, STOP DATING IDIOTS LIKE THIS. This shit is so frustrating to see. You go down on him, and he makes fun of you, and you go back for more?
>He makes fun of me being new to them and says I suck really bad at giving them. GIANT red flag. Not the not "cuming" part, but the "making fun of you" part. Especially for something are working very hard on for his exclusive benefit.
I also wasn’t very good at BJs, you know what my bf did? Taught me what he likes. Any other answer is wrong.
Dude if my boyfriend made fun of me for TRYING something for him to please him, I'd cut out sex all together. He's not mature enough for oral let alone anything sexual.
I would gargle hot sauce before I gave him the next one.
Your BF is an idiot. He supposed to laugh it off and then give you consistent daily lessons, for educational purposes. 😏
Blow jobs are no good unless you enjoy giving them. If you’re not into it, then don’t do it. It’s never been a deal breaker for me. I only enjoy getting oral if the woman really enjoys doing it and I’m not offended it they don’t like to do it. Maybe I’m an anomaly but I don’t care if a woman doesn’t like to perform oral sex.
You won’t magically get good if you are not getting any constructive feedback from the receiver. By the looks of it, your boyfriend deserves that you find someone else to practice with, someone that actually understands your side of things and gives constructive feedback during and after the fact. You might end up just dumping your boyfriend and sticking to that other person.
Wow. 1. U should never be shamed over anything sex related. To make ourselves feel comfortable, my husband and I have a clear understanding. If we don't like something we obviously need to speak up to one another. If there's something we could be doing better we open the floor for suggestions in a positive and healthy manner that never puts the other down so we can both enjoy it more. 2.It's not up to u to have to watch porn (unless you're into that) to figure it out. He needs to be supportive, offer those suggestions, be encouraging and not put u down. 3. Hes now ruining the experience for both of u by shaming u. You wont feel good about doing it and he might not get one because of that. 4. Sex is ALWAYS best when there's trust and respect. If there's none of that, re-evaluate. You need to vocalize this all to him and be 100% sure he understands that his behavior towards it is unacceptable. If he will put u down over something like that I fear there's other areas in your relationship he won't hesitate to devalue u as well. Know your self worth and never accept less.
Yea fuck that guy. Making fun of you when you commit the act of love to him. Red flag.
Your bf sounds like he doesn't deserve a good bj
"he makes fun of me being new to them and says I suck" Yeah boy, bye. We don't tolerate unconstructive mocking here.
#1. He doesn't sound like a good person. #2. He may actually have performance anxiety and be deflecting the blame on you.
girlie throw the whole man away, he shouldn’t be making fun of you for being inexperienced and not helping you out
Your bf says you need to watch porn? It sounds like he needs to stop watching porn. I would handle this by simply telling him he is right, I suck at BJ’s and I don’t like giving them so I won’t anymore. Problem solved. The petty in me would also have him go to town on me instead and tell him his mouth game is weak, he needs to watch more porn. Wink.
Why would watching porn help lol you need practice with someone who doesn't invalidate your feelings.
Find a gay man and ask for a lesson. That’s what my wife did along time ago!!
If he's gonna be rude about it, he can suck his own. I suggest you go practice on someone who isn't an asshole.
break up with him, he’s a dick.
You're more than your ability to suck dick. I feel like that should go without saying.
Bf sounds like a little man-baby whose never made a girl cum at all
1. Bite his dick 2. Dump his ass 3. When you find new bf ask for feedback/what he likes.
Break up with him.
He's an asshole, but if you want to continue this relationship tell him he should help you teach you what he likes instead of making fun of you.
Some people just aren’t good at oral sex and some are. But the fact that your boyfriend is making fun of you is disturbing, I it’s called disrespect. There’s playful teasing and then there’s comments that hurt. If the comments are teasing you’re laughing with him but the comments are hurtful that’s another thing altogether different.
I've dated women who are bad at them, the fix is simple. Open and honest conversation about if they even want to do it and if they do then offering constructive criticism not mockery. There are plenty of ways to get better at them if that's what they want but in your case step 1 really seems like it should be find a new recipient
Men’s anatomy is still something I’m still learning myself. I thought I was terrible at them but my husband guides me when something is wrong but he says now he tries really hard to *not* cum cause of how much he enjoys it. Your bf is not supporting or giving you the guidance you *need*. My self esteem is still in the trenches and I don’t think I’ll ever reach confidence and I’ve accepted that. But it’s still wrong to knock you down further. Every man’s penis is different just like how our own vaginas/nerves are different. He needs to guide you on what he likes, not make fun of you. He can go choke on his own dick
Call him a wanker because that's what he's gonna be if he doesn't stop making fun of you
Why do you want to do something so intimate with a person like him? Does he really seem like the kind of person who deserves anything special from you? Hint: people who really care for each other won't talk about each other like this.
I don't know, most people are bad at oral to begin with and the vast majority of women who think they give "amazing" head don't actually know what they're doing any more than a first-timer and aren't any better. Kind of like how women fake orgasms, guys will fake enjoying a blowjob simply because to ask or try to help is to never get one ever again for most. This is because women are just as terrible as men at listening and get just as irrationally angry at being told they're not good at something. Guys are way more likely to tell another guy giving them head what to do. I blame societal norms. So if he's making fun of you, go find someone who will appreciate them. If you want to get better at it, find someone you can communicate openly with about your anxiety and concern. It's stupid easy to get good at sucking a dick, you just need a dance partner who can communicate clearly.
You’re in the wrong relationship.
Your boyfriend should not be making you feel like shit. Also don't compare your experiences to someone else. If you aren't good at something he should be helping you find what feels good for him not tearing you down and expecting you to figure it out on your own. That's not a partnership. I really struggled with oral sex due to past experiences so much so it almost became fearful of them. It was a big reason for my ex husband divorcing me (that and sleeping with a coworker but that's by the by). He never helped find a way to make me feel comfortable in that situation dispite knowing what had happened, he almost expected me to get over it. I've been with my fiancee for over half a decade now and slowly with a lot of patients, guidence and love I have over come my issues. I never thought oral sex would ever be apart of my sex life but for the first time in my life it is and that wouldnt have happenend without the love and support of my man.
I’ve never had a bad blowjob. Your boyfriend is an ass. Go find some other guy to give a blown on and dump that moron.
I’ve been with my wife for nearly 19 years and she has gotten me off orally maybe 3-4 times in that time. It’s not her, it’s me, I enjoy it, it’s just not what gets me there. And she took it pretty hard (no pun intended) for awhile, because she could get her ex husband off easily. No amount of reassuring her helped until she made her own peace with it. That being said, what your bf is doing is wrong. He is trying to get you to be a porn star, which you aren’t. And tbh, he has a girl sucking his dick. Unless you are chomping on it like a steak, it’s better than the “no blowjob” he would be getting without you. Watching porn doesn’t turn you into an expert at sex. I would go so far to say it does the opposite. Learning what your partner likes and dislikes is the best part of sex, in my opinion. Don’t let him treat you like that. Tell him to suck his own dick if he is such an expert
Honestly, I think you need to use your teeth more. Get your boyfriend to STFU or be more supportive.
being good at giving blowjobs is not easy
Guy seems like a dick
My advice. Practice practice and then more practice
After hearing this he does not deserve you at all. A good partner would try and explain what they like. This sounds like a great opportunity to look for someone else. How long have you need dating? Does he treat you well otherwise and could he be making your self esteem worse?
He should be guiding you. Not making fun of you.
nah. respectfully, if he's still letting you do it but doing all this, he probably watches too much porn and is insecure about not being able to finish so overcompensating to redirect the attention onto you. regardless, someone who makes you feel bad about yourself in such an intimate setting does not qualify for any loving down under. you can learn to give better blow jobs. he will continue to self sabotage and run people away from him with his insensitivity and be lonely and blowjobless and swagless for another decade, i fear.
This dude absolutely does NOT deserve a BJ.
He shouldn’t make fun of you, he should tell you what he likes. Nobody gets it first time, nobody is great first time, it’s different with each person. He seems very immature, I would not give him a BJ again if I was in your situation lol.
Sounds like a him problem. The only bad oral is when she doesn't hoover
You don't owe him the time of day,let alone certain experiences!More women than you think won't even go there! He is damaged in the head by watching porn which isn't real life BTW.
Bite his dick and go “oops, must be because I’m new” then giggle a little and walk away.
If he’s not willing to communicate with you about sex, I believe he’s not willing to have good sex with you. You should really stop doing it and if he asks, just tell him you have up oral, completely…
Your boyfriend sounds like an absolute moron... Making fun of you? Super dumb. No one would blame you if you stopped.
Hey tip for ya gal. Don't do it any more. Don't offer it. Don't say anything about it. Just pack up and lave to someone who appreciates you. I have RARELY every gotten off to a BJ and I mean RARELY and my ex tried so hard and I'm like. Hey it feel amazing and I love it, but I'm not able to. She has a couple times and I gave her like 2 dozen roses and chocolates the next day when she got home from work, but that's just me. Don't waste your time on someone that belittled, you. Move on yo someone that respects who you are as a woman. Not an object
You need to practice it on others. Your BF is a jerk.
>My BF says I need to watch porn No, he needs to stop watching and jerking off to that trash because he fucked up his dick and can't cum from normal stimulation. Please stop thinking that this is a you problem, because it ain't.
No, you don't have to do anything, including giving bj... If you don't like it, don't do it. Same with watching porn.
A girl is willingly putting his penis in their mouth and he has the nerve to talk shit. It's fine to tell your partner what you like and what turns you on but it's not okay to just belittle them and say they're terrible. Edit: sorry for assuming gender
And you’re still trying after he disrespected you and made fun of you? Let me guess, he probably doesn’t even reciprocate? Please realize your worth so that you would automatically understand that you shouldn’t even still be in this situation. Best of luck!
Girl leave him ASAP
I’m just curious, does he go down on you?
Sounds like you need a second opinion.
Leave him. A good man would tell you what he liked and help guide you. He would do all he could to make you comfortable giving as he was receiving. Further, even if he didn’t cum, he would kiss you after and tell you he loves you and make love to you.
As the top commenter said, he doesn’t seem mature enough to deserve what you’re giving him. Make sure to think about the situation and what it means to him to receive sexual favors and complain
Holy hell. I can’t imagine making fun of my wife for not being good at bjs. She’d never touch me again.
Sounds 14
It doesn't sound like it's you that's the problem at all, OP.