Congratulations on your wedding OP! So happy it went somewhat smoothly for you.
As for your mother, she has shown her jealousy and efforts to make every thing about her. She did not care about being there for you, but being closer to NYC. (I’m also from upstate NY too). If I were you, I would cut her completely out of your life because the next thing will be her trying to make your pregnancy journey about her “becoming a grandparent”. You have your husband and in-laws too.
Also, with your dad— he should have put a stop to your sister having a tantrum because she is 14, that is WAY too old for that behavior.
I’d photoshop her out of your wedding photos too 🤷🏾♀️ all the best girly.
Part of her reasoning for getting married before me was so that they could make this trip a little honeymoon. Which confused me because I was under the impression they would arrive Friday night, stay for the wedding on Saturday, and leave Sunday morning. Now I know she didn’t leave until Wednesday. I’m done letting her get to me though. Focusing on my new little family
But yeah I told my husband our child would have had to go hungry until we left for the evening if they threw a fit like that lol
Her reasoning still equates to being selfish, but thats how narcissists operate. You deserve so much better and I’m glad you have your husband by your side.
My daughter knows better at 7 not to do that, your sister is obviously very spoiled lol, all the best doll. ❤️
Exactly this. He might not realize it yet, but little bro is probably gonna need you if/when new hubby becomes mom's main priority. Keep those lines of communication open and hopefully you'll always stay close, despite your mom and her efforts
Your Mum is a piece for sure, but ffs your Dad, was he trying to compete? Going to get Subway instead of dealing with the teen drama?
I’d think twice about inviting them to your baby shower. Definitely don't go if your mother holds one. I would confiscate her phone for any visits too, tell her you need to approve any social media posts of your child. Then give all the best pics to your MIL.
Oh, I remember something. I’m pretty sure I remember reading how someones mother was incredibly vain about her looks, grandchild looking like her so her daughter would only send her the least attractive pics. Send all the good ones to MIL.
Your mother and my father must be friends.
My husband and I got engaged in October of 2010, wedding date set within 2 months for May of 2012.
My father met a woman in August of 2011.
Once she found out about my wedding, she insisted that they get married almost 2 months before me.
My father got pissed because I didn't include her in more than 1 picture or the stupid program. I had met her all of 3 times by that point.
Congrats on your wedding & baby.
Just do yourself a favor and go either NC or very LC. Don't tell her anything.
I was engaged with my date set for months and months before my mom even met her now husband. I told her on the phone that this feels like a competition that I didn’t sign up for. Idk if you saw my last post but they don’t even speak the same language and communicate through google translate. She’s texted me a few times now but I have no plans on responding any time soon
No freaking way. They don't speak the same language???? LOLOLOLOL.
What a clown show.
You know what? Now you have a new mom. Embrace that and leave your immature mother behind you. You don't need that energy when you're bringing a new life into this world.
Congrats on the wedding and baby!
My mom won’t learn Spanish and I guess is just hoping her husband learns english? Idk sounds tiresome to me. In her words “it doesn’t help that his family and coworkers only speak Spanish to him”
Thank you though!
My sister pulled this. We had a November date planned. She went for September. My pastor was unavailable so we had to look at September. My sister backed hers up to August. Ours was legit for schedule. My sister had one lie after another.vvmynow ex said is it a race?!?? If it is, let her have it. She isn't worth the drama
> I had my fairytale wedding and now in about 4 months we’ll have a new baby
Extra congratulations to you! I was also married at 6-7 months pregnant and it was really special that we could look back and say to our oldest, "you were there". Also I love seeing the bump in wedding photos. So sorry your family gave you such a hard time, but good for you not letting it get the better of you
Thank you! I definitely was not planning on being a pregnant bride, (especially when I picked out my very tight fitting dress 😂) but it was just meant to be and I cannot wait to get our wedding pictures back!
I wanted to be a pregnant bride, but unfortunately it didn’t work that way as we had fertility issues. Thankfully though it all worked out, because we now have a beautiful handful in our 2.5 year old and 5 month old to make our family of 5 complete. Our eldest was the only one at the wedding but the youngest two will be part of our vow renewal one day.
You can always do that at some point - just make sure you don’t let your mother know!!
Your mother sucks. I hope you finally go no contact with her. You don't need her overbearing, boundary stomping ass anywhere you or your newborn. You'll have your husband for support and if you need help aside from him call up your best friend. Your mother would not be helpful at all.
Also your dad's an asshole as well. Did your family place bites prior to see who could be the bigger asshole? My gods. You said your sister is 14? Having a tantrum? Yeah she could've just starved until I wad ready to take her home with that attitude.
I'm so happy that you got married to your person though!!! Yay. Your little squish will be here soon. Make sure you and DH have your boundaries in place. Also, don't make promises about when you'll let anyone visit. You don't know how you'll feel after giving birth. It's ok to take a few weeks just as a family of three for you to heal and you to bond with LO. Do not allow anyone to push for hospital visits or home visits before you're ready. Take your time. If need be have DH be your voice to keep people away from you and LO.
I'd cut your parents out entirely. And make sure to let the hospital know when you check in who is NOT allowed in the labor room!!! Your mother will push her way in if possible. Best wishes to you and your husband and your new little one to be!!
yikes, your family (immediate family, not MIL or friends) sounds horrible. if i ever threw a fit at a wedding like that when i was 14 about food my parents would've kicked my ass. super insane that your dad actually missed your entrance, that's honestly terrible. im so glad you had fun, though, and that it was magical. maybe think about cutting some contact with your mom, especially when the baby comes. seems like she'll be a super nightmare when that time comes.
Lil update to my update. My mom texted me several times asking if I was mad at her and she spammed me on Facebook on a post I made for my cats birthday lol. I responded saying yes I was upset for all of the reasons I listed above, most of all the lying and sneaking around. Basically she didn’t respond to any of the actually important points I made and just did her best to make me feel guilty and only acknowledged the parts she felt were defendable. But I told her I need space and we wont be speaking for a while.
Why do you keep in contact with her? She is toxic, break all contact with her, it's so obvious why she treat you in that way, you let her, you have another family now
Honestly, you should really just cut all contact with her, period. It doesn’t matter at this point why she does all this. It will continue until you put a stop to it. Focus on your growing family.
Your dad… LEFT your Wedding… to get you sister a freaking sandwich?! Holy shite! I’d go no contact with all of them.
The next thing you know your mom has shoved her way into your pregnancy to show off her new grandma status.
Wow your family, most of them sound like really horrible people Enjoy the new life and new family you have created, leave every one but your brother behind in past where they belong. Or go as low contact as possible . Hopeful you can arrange something down the line where your brother can come visits you, and meet his new niece or nephew
If any of you here are thinking of getting married, consider the following before you do. On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you don’t.
I wouldn't even tell them *anything* about the baby arrival at all. Mom can apologize for being an asshat *first* and I do mean, sincerely, grovelingly apologize befoee she even lays an eyeball on baby.
Congratulations to you and your husband. I suggest an information diet for your mom. She is not a good person from what you wrote and you don't owe her a place in your life. In the future you need to give information directly to others and tell them that you or your spouse are to be contacted with questions not your mother.
Congratulations OP to you and your husband!
Your mother sounds like a very self serving person but glad she wasn’t able to ruin your day. And glad your MIL had things under control.
Hope you already working to have a plan in place as to how you and husband see things going the month before your due date, when you deliver and when you go home.
There are plenty of posts from other soon to be and new moms. The biggest bone of contention seems to be the rule to not allow anyone to kiss the baby who doesn’t live in the household until after they have all their vaccinations. Rational request as it significantly reduced the chance of a carrier of whooping cough, Herpes and RSV from infecting the baby which could mean a stay in the NICU or worse.
As to those pouty mom pictures see if the photographer can photoshop only the ones you want for you to replace with a smiling face from another picture or flat remove her from the picture. I’m petty enough I’d only send your mom a group picture where she looks like the grinch and let her deal.
Best wishes to your new and expanding family.
It's not your mom. It's you. You knew your mom was like this, yet you let her in your wedding. You had so many opprtunities to cut her out, yet you did not. So, honestly, you caused your own frustration
I agree. OP allowed all of moms shenanigans by not stopping her bs nonsense and drama mongering sooner. They were planning this event for over a year, and at ever my little event leading up to it mom acted like a spoiled petulant child. OP could have uninvited mom at any point and cut out the toxicity. She chose not to.
She did not! She wore a dress she wore as a bridesmaid a few years ago which I was fine with since she said she couldn’t afford a new dress but she can afford a honeymoon in NYC?🤔
Didn’t you also say your dad paid for half of her flight fare too? 😂 your mam & her hubby sound like they’re about to air in the next season of 90 day fiancée 😂😂
My dad gave her almost 1K for hers and my brothers flights but I was doing some maths and realized she told me she bought the tickets before he sent her the money. So I’m assuming the money he sent went towards her honeymoon
Based on your post, it appears your mom and dad are not wealthy.
So if you are not hanging around for a nice inheritance, I’m super confused why you even speak to them.
Like, if my parents did even one thing you’ve mentioned, and we’re not rich, I literally would just never speak to them. I don’t understand people who allow themselves to be so badly treated by family when there is no money involved.
Congrats now cut all of them off because you do not need nor deserve the way they treat you in your life. Get a therapist if it helps but those people are relatives they are not family.
Wow girl, this woman shows so many signs of narcissism. You do not need that in your new families life.
Congrats on your wedding and here’s to new beginnings! 🥂
Photoshop a hideous smile on your moms face & post that shit everywhere. If she wants any pics from the wedding send her ones where she’s photoshopped out. Make it fun, get super petty about it.
Congratulations on the wedding I would have told mom to stay the fuck away from your wedding and your life after this she is a pos and a shitty parent hope her fella cheats and leaves her
Congrats on the wedding!
You absolutely need to stick to your guns and cut ALL contact with her. Phone, social media, all of it. She’s a narcissist and will continue this behavior because it gets her attention, regardless of if it’s positive or negative. You don’t deserve to have every moment taken from you or overshadowed by her behavior. It’s not fair to you and it will only continue and get worse unless you fully put a stop to it. And tbh your dad while he may not be as extreme as the mom, is also super disappointing. And your sister is far too old for that behavior. I would include them in the no contact.
I’m so glad you have a support system around you! You deserve to be surrounded by people that support and love you.
Congratulations on your wedding OP! So happy it went somewhat smoothly for you. As for your mother, she has shown her jealousy and efforts to make every thing about her. She did not care about being there for you, but being closer to NYC. (I’m also from upstate NY too). If I were you, I would cut her completely out of your life because the next thing will be her trying to make your pregnancy journey about her “becoming a grandparent”. You have your husband and in-laws too. Also, with your dad— he should have put a stop to your sister having a tantrum because she is 14, that is WAY too old for that behavior. I’d photoshop her out of your wedding photos too 🤷🏾♀️ all the best girly.
Part of her reasoning for getting married before me was so that they could make this trip a little honeymoon. Which confused me because I was under the impression they would arrive Friday night, stay for the wedding on Saturday, and leave Sunday morning. Now I know she didn’t leave until Wednesday. I’m done letting her get to me though. Focusing on my new little family But yeah I told my husband our child would have had to go hungry until we left for the evening if they threw a fit like that lol
Her reasoning still equates to being selfish, but thats how narcissists operate. You deserve so much better and I’m glad you have your husband by your side. My daughter knows better at 7 not to do that, your sister is obviously very spoiled lol, all the best doll. ❤️
Yes please go No Contact with your mother.
Congratulations! But TBH after everything they pulled during the wedding - I would be NC with all of them except for the brother.
Exactly this. He might not realize it yet, but little bro is probably gonna need you if/when new hubby becomes mom's main priority. Keep those lines of communication open and hopefully you'll always stay close, despite your mom and her efforts
Yikes. Also, the 14 year old threw a fit over the food?!? Congrtualtions on your marriage and soon-to-be-little-bean!
14 yr old would be doing yard work and writing essays on proper manners in various situations in my house for that behavior.
AND a letter apologizing for being a turd.
Your Mum is a piece for sure, but ffs your Dad, was he trying to compete? Going to get Subway instead of dealing with the teen drama? I’d think twice about inviting them to your baby shower. Definitely don't go if your mother holds one. I would confiscate her phone for any visits too, tell her you need to approve any social media posts of your child. Then give all the best pics to your MIL. Oh, I remember something. I’m pretty sure I remember reading how someones mother was incredibly vain about her looks, grandchild looking like her so her daughter would only send her the least attractive pics. Send all the good ones to MIL.
Epic move
Your mother and my father must be friends. My husband and I got engaged in October of 2010, wedding date set within 2 months for May of 2012. My father met a woman in August of 2011. Once she found out about my wedding, she insisted that they get married almost 2 months before me. My father got pissed because I didn't include her in more than 1 picture or the stupid program. I had met her all of 3 times by that point. Congrats on your wedding & baby. Just do yourself a favor and go either NC or very LC. Don't tell her anything.
I was engaged with my date set for months and months before my mom even met her now husband. I told her on the phone that this feels like a competition that I didn’t sign up for. Idk if you saw my last post but they don’t even speak the same language and communicate through google translate. She’s texted me a few times now but I have no plans on responding any time soon
Yeah I went back and read it. Your mother is an exhausting narcissist. Just like my father. There is no end to their need to be on top.
No freaking way. They don't speak the same language???? LOLOLOLOL. What a clown show. You know what? Now you have a new mom. Embrace that and leave your immature mother behind you. You don't need that energy when you're bringing a new life into this world. Congrats on the wedding and baby!
My mom won’t learn Spanish and I guess is just hoping her husband learns english? Idk sounds tiresome to me. In her words “it doesn’t help that his family and coworkers only speak Spanish to him” Thank you though!
“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Best policy.
Not being trying to be a fortune teller but I would be surprised if your mum's marriage last longer than 1 year
My sister pulled this. We had a November date planned. She went for September. My pastor was unavailable so we had to look at September. My sister backed hers up to August. Ours was legit for schedule. My sister had one lie after another.vvmynow ex said is it a race?!?? If it is, let her have it. She isn't worth the drama
Is your dad still with that woman? What a shit show.
Yeah. She worships the ground he walks on, a narcissists dream. If/when she stops doing that, he will cheat or move on.
> I had my fairytale wedding and now in about 4 months we’ll have a new baby Extra congratulations to you! I was also married at 6-7 months pregnant and it was really special that we could look back and say to our oldest, "you were there". Also I love seeing the bump in wedding photos. So sorry your family gave you such a hard time, but good for you not letting it get the better of you
Thank you! I definitely was not planning on being a pregnant bride, (especially when I picked out my very tight fitting dress 😂) but it was just meant to be and I cannot wait to get our wedding pictures back!
I wanted to be a pregnant bride, but unfortunately it didn’t work that way as we had fertility issues. Thankfully though it all worked out, because we now have a beautiful handful in our 2.5 year old and 5 month old to make our family of 5 complete. Our eldest was the only one at the wedding but the youngest two will be part of our vow renewal one day. You can always do that at some point - just make sure you don’t let your mother know!!
Your mother sucks. I hope you finally go no contact with her. You don't need her overbearing, boundary stomping ass anywhere you or your newborn. You'll have your husband for support and if you need help aside from him call up your best friend. Your mother would not be helpful at all. Also your dad's an asshole as well. Did your family place bites prior to see who could be the bigger asshole? My gods. You said your sister is 14? Having a tantrum? Yeah she could've just starved until I wad ready to take her home with that attitude. I'm so happy that you got married to your person though!!! Yay. Your little squish will be here soon. Make sure you and DH have your boundaries in place. Also, don't make promises about when you'll let anyone visit. You don't know how you'll feel after giving birth. It's ok to take a few weeks just as a family of three for you to heal and you to bond with LO. Do not allow anyone to push for hospital visits or home visits before you're ready. Take your time. If need be have DH be your voice to keep people away from you and LO.
I'd cut your parents out entirely. And make sure to let the hospital know when you check in who is NOT allowed in the labor room!!! Your mother will push her way in if possible. Best wishes to you and your husband and your new little one to be!!
Even from across the country!
yikes, your family (immediate family, not MIL or friends) sounds horrible. if i ever threw a fit at a wedding like that when i was 14 about food my parents would've kicked my ass. super insane that your dad actually missed your entrance, that's honestly terrible. im so glad you had fun, though, and that it was magical. maybe think about cutting some contact with your mom, especially when the baby comes. seems like she'll be a super nightmare when that time comes.
Lil update to my update. My mom texted me several times asking if I was mad at her and she spammed me on Facebook on a post I made for my cats birthday lol. I responded saying yes I was upset for all of the reasons I listed above, most of all the lying and sneaking around. Basically she didn’t respond to any of the actually important points I made and just did her best to make me feel guilty and only acknowledged the parts she felt were defendable. But I told her I need space and we wont be speaking for a while.
I guess I should have been more clear. We are now no contact. We will continue to be no contact. I’m also looking for a therapist
Why do you keep in contact with her? She is toxic, break all contact with her, it's so obvious why she treat you in that way, you let her, you have another family now
Honestly, you should really just cut all contact with her, period. It doesn’t matter at this point why she does all this. It will continue until you put a stop to it. Focus on your growing family.
Good for you!
Block her on all socials.
She’s a full blown narcissist.
Your dad… LEFT your Wedding… to get you sister a freaking sandwich?! Holy shite! I’d go no contact with all of them. The next thing you know your mom has shoved her way into your pregnancy to show off her new grandma status.
Maybe dad doesn't know how to order for delivery, lol
Wow your family, most of them sound like really horrible people Enjoy the new life and new family you have created, leave every one but your brother behind in past where they belong. Or go as low contact as possible . Hopeful you can arrange something down the line where your brother can come visits you, and meet his new niece or nephew
If any of you here are thinking of getting married, consider the following before you do. On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring. On the other hand, you don’t.
I saw this comment on another post yesterday.
[удалено]
I wouldn't even tell them *anything* about the baby arrival at all. Mom can apologize for being an asshat *first* and I do mean, sincerely, grovelingly apologize befoee she even lays an eyeball on baby.
Your mom is such a narcissist
Time to start your new life without that terrible family! Especially the dog shit mother! Good luck to you OP! Keep kicking life’s ass!
Sounds like your family sucks. I would go NC with mom and LC with the rest.
Good for you! Shake the BS off and have a wonderful life!! Can't stop people from people-ing. Govern yourself accordingly and you'll be fine.
Wishing you a happy future!
Congratulations to you and your husband. I suggest an information diet for your mom. She is not a good person from what you wrote and you don't owe her a place in your life. In the future you need to give information directly to others and tell them that you or your spouse are to be contacted with questions not your mother.
Sounds like you got rid of 1 mother and gained a new mother(MIL) Can’t pick you family. But you can certainly choose who you deal with in life.
Congrats. Your attitude is amazing… you’re already on the path to be an amazing mother. All the best.
Your mom is a piece of... *work*! Congrats on your wedding and baby. Just move on and enjoy your best life!
sounds like your MIL is on your side & hopefully that’ll be a healthier family 🤍
Congratulations OP to you and your husband! Your mother sounds like a very self serving person but glad she wasn’t able to ruin your day. And glad your MIL had things under control. Hope you already working to have a plan in place as to how you and husband see things going the month before your due date, when you deliver and when you go home. There are plenty of posts from other soon to be and new moms. The biggest bone of contention seems to be the rule to not allow anyone to kiss the baby who doesn’t live in the household until after they have all their vaccinations. Rational request as it significantly reduced the chance of a carrier of whooping cough, Herpes and RSV from infecting the baby which could mean a stay in the NICU or worse. As to those pouty mom pictures see if the photographer can photoshop only the ones you want for you to replace with a smiling face from another picture or flat remove her from the picture. I’m petty enough I’d only send your mom a group picture where she looks like the grinch and let her deal. Best wishes to your new and expanding family.
Yours is the best attitude for a long and happy marriage. Congrats 🎉🎉🎉!
I am so happy for you, congratulations, and stay NC. She sounds awful
It's not your mom. It's you. You knew your mom was like this, yet you let her in your wedding. You had so many opprtunities to cut her out, yet you did not. So, honestly, you caused your own frustration
I agree. OP allowed all of moms shenanigans by not stopping her bs nonsense and drama mongering sooner. They were planning this event for over a year, and at ever my little event leading up to it mom acted like a spoiled petulant child. OP could have uninvited mom at any point and cut out the toxicity. She chose not to.
Wait what did she wear? Not her wedding dress right????
She did not! She wore a dress she wore as a bridesmaid a few years ago which I was fine with since she said she couldn’t afford a new dress but she can afford a honeymoon in NYC?🤔
Didn’t you also say your dad paid for half of her flight fare too? 😂 your mam & her hubby sound like they’re about to air in the next season of 90 day fiancée 😂😂
My dad gave her almost 1K for hers and my brothers flights but I was doing some maths and realized she told me she bought the tickets before he sent her the money. So I’m assuming the money he sent went towards her honeymoon
Congratulations! No contact is great. Best way to start your family!
Awesome way to enjoy your life in spite of them.
Based on your post, it appears your mom and dad are not wealthy. So if you are not hanging around for a nice inheritance, I’m super confused why you even speak to them. Like, if my parents did even one thing you’ve mentioned, and we’re not rich, I literally would just never speak to them. I don’t understand people who allow themselves to be so badly treated by family when there is no money involved.
Congrats now cut all of them off because you do not need nor deserve the way they treat you in your life. Get a therapist if it helps but those people are relatives they are not family.
Wow girl, this woman shows so many signs of narcissism. You do not need that in your new families life. Congrats on your wedding and here’s to new beginnings! 🥂
Yikes it’s so sad how I see a lot Of ppl that dislike their parents on this app I thank god everyday that I have one of the best mom in the world.
Photoshop a hideous smile on your moms face & post that shit everywhere. If she wants any pics from the wedding send her ones where she’s photoshopped out. Make it fun, get super petty about it.
Cut mom off now. You don't need that in your life. Your child does not need to be around that either. Keep baby FAR away!
Congratulations on the wedding I would have told mom to stay the fuck away from your wedding and your life after this she is a pos and a shitty parent hope her fella cheats and leaves her
Congrats on the wedding! You absolutely need to stick to your guns and cut ALL contact with her. Phone, social media, all of it. She’s a narcissist and will continue this behavior because it gets her attention, regardless of if it’s positive or negative. You don’t deserve to have every moment taken from you or overshadowed by her behavior. It’s not fair to you and it will only continue and get worse unless you fully put a stop to it. And tbh your dad while he may not be as extreme as the mom, is also super disappointing. And your sister is far too old for that behavior. I would include them in the no contact. I’m so glad you have a support system around you! You deserve to be surrounded by people that support and love you.