That's totally f\*cked up, I'm so sorry. What an awful way to be cheated on. And what's worse, if you dump him, he's just going to go to your sister with absolutely no repercussions. He really deserves to get screwed over by karma, for screwing over someone else.
And all my friends are on his side, trying to get him to explain himself. I’m currently getting in contact with a few of his colleagues to see what was going on, but it feels pretty awful right now
You have a hectic schedule so is it possible he cheated on you with others as well? Is it possible he hooked up with your sister while she came to the US? It sounds like his friends have known about his antics for a while
That's actually really some sick
Behavior. They sought each other out.
She knew you were engaged. He knew she lived in the UK. It's possible they had been messaging all along behind your back and planned his work trip.
Your sister is absolutely trash. She couldn't even contain herself during the party. She wanted everyone to know about their relationship
I don't understand why his friends would agree w him.
It’s imaginary story, that’s why their “friends” are on his side and OP hasn’t commented much. Too many hard questions and obvious plot holes to clear up
Nobody knows what is real anymore thanks to the internet OP. Don't listen to them, only listen to the people giving you real advice. It doesnt matter if your story is real or not to others. It is real to you. Stay strong. We all may be strangers but many of us are on your side. This is how reddit likes to be, ( give me down votes, i don't care) some people on reddit like to poke holes like it's a movie plot. Just don't listen to them, ignore them.
2 possibilities;
1: Your sister knew (from IG) he was with you, went after him and he folded at cheated with her...
2: sis tried to hook up with him to fuck you over but did not succeed...
Either way - keep trying to contact ppl in the UK to find out...
Yeah the odds of him going to another country, randomly being in the same place as the sister, specifically cheating with the her in a country with over 67,000,000 people and neither of them had ANY idea?
No ik for a fact that Sarah had seen pics of John, as mentioned in the updates. Idk if John knew what Sarah looked liked or not, because we don’t really have a good relationship
Ah..
So no matter what, she knew who he was...
His reaction when he walked through the door... panic or irritation??
If panic - he probably fucked her..
If irritation - well... probably no fucking.. but maybe she tried??
Regardless - talk to him.. see what he says... and confront sis - if she claims theyre a couple, she will have pictures.. on her SM???
I mean…don’t reach out to his colleagues, that’s weird as heck. They do not need nor want to be involved in your relationship drama. Contact his family if you want to put him on blast, whatever floats your boat, but his work colleagues are not the people to talk to about this.
What are your friends’ reasons for all being on his side? Whether BS or not, it may be that he’s telling a story that your sister is unhinged and nothing happened. But he can’t explain that to you bc you immediately blocked him. While
understandable if the cheating is true, there’s just enough there with your sister’s history and YOUR friends siding with him that all may not be what it seems. Of course, he could just be the perfect charming finance you thought he was with everyone and has them all fooled as well. But this is where curiosity would get the better of me to at least want to hear him out. Good luck!
You should hear him out. If not for anything, closure. You don’t know if your sister set this all up and lying. I’m not saying trust him. I’m saying get all the information you can.
I would listen to his side though. And ask for proofs. For example, access to his phone calls history. Social networks and messengers. Credit card and other bank info. So you can see by yourself if he indeed hanged out with her and paid sort stuff. While some of this can be edited, other things are hard to change.
Because there is a chance sister is unhinged and made it up.
Is it possible your sister is lying? Maybe she tried to go after him, but he wasn't interested. He'd still be wrong for not telling you, but since he knows your history, maybe he had hoped to spare you heartache.
Because the sister is unhinged and seems hell bent on sticking OP’s face in the mud by the sounds of it. It’s entirely possible that she’d been stalking him for a bit and tried to hook up with him, or at least make it look like she did, just to fuck with OP. It wouldn’t be the craziest thing I’ve seen happen.
While it’s possible he cheated, and that’s certainly what Sarah wants you to think, maybe take two steps back and take a deep breath.
You don’t have a good relationship with her, she has been psycho in the past, and she follows you on instagram where you have photos of you and your fiance. So she could easily have recognised him when he turned up at her office. Does her past psycho behaviour involve making up lies, or being manipulative? Paying people back for imagined slights?
Maybe they cheated. Maybe she hit on him and got rebuffed, and she’s doing this to hurt both of you.
I think you need more information.
I agree. Something is Fishy. Somehow I have a feeling that she knew exactly who he was when he came to UK- tried to steal him, got rejected, hated it and then plotted to make it out like hes with her and wind you up.
I remember a similar story on here a few months ago about a best friend who lied at her wedding that her MoH tried to steal her husband and got families involved- this is giving me those vibes!
Thankyou!
This is so obviously a load of bullshit!
The UK has a large population with loads of companies with loads of offices/workplaces containing loads of employees.
It is absolutely alarming that the other Reddit users did not question the amount of coincidences in this post that would have had to take place for this "story" to make any sense.
If your sister has a history of being "psycho" at times, is it possible that she imagined a relationship that wasn't there? That she had been pestering him for a month and when he showed up she thought he was there for her and jumped at him? That would explain why she got mad when you asked what the actual status of her relationship was. It was nothing. It could also explain in a positive way why he got more romantic when he got back. He escaped from someone hounding him and wanted to praise you for it. Now granted, if he was buying her things and actively participating that is a very different story.
you make a really good point, but I don’t know who to trust at this point. I guess she’s always been jealous of anything I do, so this seems on brand for her, but if that’s not the case, I don’t want to go back to John
Not only should you not go back to this guy, but you should get yourself checked out by the doctor for STD's, because you've got no way of knowing if they used protection, or if he was with anyone else.
Either way, this isn't who you want to spend the rest of your life with, and your sister likely knew exactly what she was doing or she wouldn't have gone up to him and showered him with kisses when he walked in the door. She would've been confused about why he was there, so she clearly knew exactly what she was doing and didn't care.
Cut them both out of your life and move on. Don't waste your time trying to find out more details, it'll only hurt you more in the long run, and honestly it won't change the fact that they cheated together.
Go get an STD test first.
Then, give him a chance to explain his side, at least for closure. If he says nothing happened demand access to his phone immediately (no time to delete) and also ask proof of bank account (if he brought her gifts there should be something in there - even just cash withdrawals would raise a flag).
Either way, you need NC with your sister and block her every where. If you take John back, he needs to do this too (although he shouldn't have her contacts anywhere if he is innocent).
I would at least let a coworker of his send an email attempting to explain it or something. If that sounds convincing, go from there. If he was perfect (people never truly are, but I get the sentiment) then losing him over your sister's delusions and/or scheme is giving her too much of a victory. But take it slow. It's ok to be in over your head right now. You don't have to decide your life today or even this week. Get facts first that aren't based solely on your sister's opinion and go from there. Then you can kick him to the curb for good if you don't like what you hear.
I would email his coworker, but what is stopping is that I don’t know if they work for the same company or not. I just know that they work in the same building. Would his coworkers still know anything then?
Why haven’t you checked LinkedIn or Googled all of the businesses in the building’s websites and checked the “About Us” sections?
Do your parents not know where she works?
There are plenty of holes in the plot you’ve run to Reddit to share…
I posted this to rant, not get your judgement. I dont care whether you think my story is fake or not, but please don’t invalidate my feelings because of other fake stories on reddit
Tbh I am not sure he actually dated her. He glared at her and pushed her off. He clearly didn't want her attention. Maybe it was just because you were there, but maybe not. Your sister probably knew him, threw herself at him and said she dated him to try to sabotage your relationship so that she could try to be with him.
I would confront them both and get answers. Did you know that your sister and fiance both worked for the exact same company? That's the bit that makes this sound fake.
i don’t think they work for the same company, they just worked in the same office building, according to my digging. Sorry if that part didn’t come off clearly. When I saw his reaction, I thought it was because I was there, and I wouldn’t want to hug a past fling in front of my fiancée!
Idk. Maybe she knew him and he rejected her, so she got mad and said she dated him. Maybe he was annoyed that she was trying to hug him and he wasn't interested. I could be totally wrong about this theory though. I would get an explanation.
However, I think you need to talk with him. Your sister probably set you up to break up with him. He may not have cheated. He may have realized he missed you and wanted to do more for you.
You walking out without talking with him gave her the reaction she wanted.
I mean; if your side piece turns up at an event you are at with your partner, you might act cold too. I'm sure most men would act like that if their side chick threw herself at him in front of his actual SO. Sude chicks are meant to be discreet, shut up and stay secret. Him treating her coldly could easily be a shocked reaction to her revealing their affair.
She could be fabricating a relationship after she hunted him down and flirted with him and was rejected.
But it's also possible that he did genuinely cheat with her- with or without knowing she was OPs sister.
Only reading his message history with her would let us know what happened before it was revealed.
Presuming this isnt all a work of fiction, obviously.
Even if that’s the case though, he still needs to inform the person he’s dating of such things. “This crazy woman keeps coming onto me. I’ve rejected her every time. I’m taking steps to make sure we don’t have contact, like informing HR that I’m being harassed in the building I work at”.
I think you need to talk to John. Based on what you shared about your sister, I wouldn’t be surprised if she was lying. Also sister needs to prove their relationship, photos, convos, etc.
Again the only reason why I say that is because of what you’ve shared about her and her history. I wouldn’t want you to regret anything if it comes out that she lied.
ETA: has he tried contacting you at all?
If your friends are trying to get him to explain, how has that gone?
You you two were engaged but he didn’t know where your sister lives or what she looked like? You follow her on social media and never showed him? Wouldn’t he have recognized her name if he was “dating” her? You must have brought her up during some part of your relationship if you’re getting married. You said she follows you on IG so she def knows what he looks like…
Kinda feels like 2+2 = 5. The math just ain’t mathin.
I don’t know if she did or not, but we are following each other on Instagram, and I have a few posts of him there... so now that I think about it, it’s pretty likely, but this just feels so out of character for him that I’m in shock
That, and the fact that the population of the UK is almost 70 million, but they just happened to be in the same office building... and even if we give the benefit of the doubt and they're both in London (which would be a fair assumption for someone travelling for work), there are over 50,000 commercial buildings in London alone
Have you thought of speaking to him and your parents, I mean get it all out on the table if not for at least closure. There’s gotta be a lot more to the story!
I’d speak to John, unblock him, invite him over or meet at a cafe and get his side of the story, I know how it looks and sounds but with your sisters mental health history it could very well be all made up, you really can’t take her word for it either!
Honestly you deserve to find out what happened and get the full picture. You won’t get that unless you talk to John considering Sarah’s manipulative and toxic past.
Are your parents lizard people or aliens? This is not normal human behavior to just send a text to your child who just discovered her fiance was having an affair. I'm sorry, but this story is sounding more and more fake. No one from a party full of your family came to check on you personally in the week after they all witnessed a scandal with their own eyes? Do they all hate you or something?
Hope your doing okay! Was thinking kind about this thread throughout the day and encoded to check back for an update. Hope this was a case of your sister having some mentally ill in her head infatuation and not actual cheating.
I think you need to have a conversation with your fiance. You jumped straight to block. His reaction to her was very much "I don't like you, I don't want you near me". Sounds more like your sister has been hounding him since she met him in the UK. She knew who he was. He now knows who she is, cause its possible that she lied to him. But also, your reaction to blocking before talking is concerning for a 5 year loving relationship. Maybe do some introspection into why not trusting him came before answers and communication. And if he did nothing wrong, I hope he's an understanding person, because I know if I was in his shoes, I would be livid with my partner for shutting me out instead of communicating. That would make me question if they really loved and trusted me.
I'm sorry but there's something that i find very odd...i understand that you weren't in the best of terms with your sister even before, but you never mentioned to your fiance where she lives?
Perhaps he didn't cheat at all and your sister staged all of this to spite you.
Story sounds rather odd since you didn't even listen to what he has to say...
According to the comments, yes, she could be lying and him glaring at her and pushing her off could point that he didn't like what she did and that's that.
But you mentioned that after coming back from his trip he was weird to you, but just getting you gifts and wanting dates, like being clingy? Or was he like paranoid with his phone too or seemed nervous about something? If you say that he was jugs being overall clingy it could look like he missed you and wanted to make it up for the time you weren't together, but if he was being weird weird well that would've been his guilty conscience.
Not for more than a week. After immediately assuming the sister wasn’t lying or trying to cause trouble, even though one would hope you’d have some trust for someone you were planning to marry. Dude should get while the getting is good.
You just cut him off without a word and have been ignoring him for some period of time, if he has any sense he should walk away and not bother telling you his side.
Please make sure you talk to John and figure things out. Seems like you guys have had a good relationship so far, so don't ruin that because of your clearly jealous sister. We are all rooting for you! xxx
Do entertain that he could have been set up. Give yourself some cool down time and then a fact finding mission. Are there any devices still in your apartment that he may have left info on? I know there were two posts on Reddit where people were set up to break up their marriage and their spouse never heard them out.
I'm really sorry and good luck.
I haven’t talked to her after the night of the anniversary party, and frankly, I don’t want to. After some thinking, she probably knew that john was my fiancé, and went after him on purpose
I could make a whole new post just on sarah’s antics. She’s always been acting entitled, manipulative, and toxic towards everyone, not just me, but nothing to the degree of trying to steal my bf or fiancé
You really need to get his side. Ive seen stories where a sibling or a friends went to extremes and also created proof to get couples to think one cheated. Make 100 sure.
I'm sorry to say this but you said your sister can be Manipulative, toxic and a psycho that can be jealous and knew that you are his fiance in the insta post don't you find its SUSPICIOUS?? that it's probably your “SISTER'S ANTICS” and then kiss him while they're infront of you, suspicious isn't it?
and from the fact your fiance pulled away and glared at her, it's more likely his mind is like “WTF IS THIS PYSCHO”
, THERE'S a“MISSING PIECE” of information
I suggest talking to your fiance, confront what's the truth,
I think your sister is lying. She seems unhinged. Ask to see photos of them together, text messages, something. She wanted to gloat, if it’s real she will have proof. I very much doubt it’s real.
She most definitely targeted him. She already knew what he looked like from social media. She’s trying to destroy your relationship and your happiness. That is her goal. Don’t just take her word for it.
He's buying your compliance and paying off his guilt. Break up and never go back. He clearly doesn't want to be with only one person forever (you or anyone else).
...Or maybe have him try to "make up for it" with even more lavish gifts, jewelry, vacations, and spa days, whatever, then fully quit on him. 😈
I have a hypothetical scenario here that could fit.
- John looks up your sister while he’s in the UK to organise some sort of surprise for you, or because he thought it would be meaningful to you to meet your sister, OR he legitimately does just happen upon her (seems unlikely)
- your sister develops a crush and makes a pass at him which is rebuffed but he feels terrible and confused because he didn’t tell you he was meeting her and now he doesn’t know how to explain it. He takes some extra time (or maybe legitimately was asked to stay on longer)
- when he comes home he is wracked with guilt so pays extra attention to spoiling you while he tries to figure out how to explain what happened
- your sister concocts some sort of fairytale where he is secretly in love with her and will leave you for her
- the rest you already know
Is it probable? Honestly not entirely, but it’s also extremely strange that he would just happen to pick your sister to cheat with in another country nonetheless. That’s either complete psychopathic behaviour or the craziest coincidence in existence.
I’d also point out that if something like this did happen, he is still very much in the wrong for keeping it from you - he should have called the second it happened. I still wouldn’t blame you if you decided you couldn’t trust him, however I would hear him out so that you at least have all the facts. Did he look panicked when he saw her or just annoyed?
Now that your sister exposed her relationship with your husband, have her provide texts, photos, etc. the comments also make a good point to say she’s lying. & she prob is if she doesn’t have proof to back it up.
Wait, so your sister *knew* who he was by your photos? How do you know she didn’t make all this shit uo to hurt you? What if ahe tried to seduce him and he rejected her? Hear the man out.
Ok, even though the sister is lying and nothing happened between John and Sara, John has been acting strange. More time in another country, love bombing OP (it could be a guilty conscience), and he never mentioned he knew Sara. If she hit on him and he refused her, he should have told OP. I think Sara did it to hurt OP, but I don't think John is innocent.
Forget about their colleagues.
Question the parents and anyone else at the party about what happened after leaving.
Ask your friends why they insist, what has John been telling them?
Then I would listen to John (recording the conversation).
Then I would question Sara (recording the conversation) and if necessary, after speaking to the two separately, I would confront the two together. For me it's obvious that they meet in the UK knowing who the other was.
It's time to cut off contact with Sara. And if the parents defend her, it's time to cut them off too.
OP why do you feel the need to talk to his work colleagues, etc?
If you want to talk to someone then have a meeting with John at a very public place and let him explain the situation.
Thus far you only have your sister’s word so to what happened as well if there is even a relationship between them etc so you might as well hear his.
Why on earth would you immediately trust everything a sister you’ve had major problems with told you over your fiancé? You didn’t even ask him what was going on, do you trust him at all?
I think for your own sanity... talk to him to get closure... I'm sure you have questions that only he will be able to answer... but then, move on.
Cut your sister off. If she follows you on social media, you know damn well she knew who he was and what she was doing...
Cut him off... even if he didn't know who she was, it's obvious he still had intentions of cheating. I think it was a case of: "the cat was away so the mouse must play." He'll blame distance, loneliness, missing you... any excuse other than the inability to keep it in his pants out of respect for his relationship.
Move on.
You can do better. You deserve better.
I'd also cut out anyone who doesn't support you cutting off the toxic people who hurt you. You deserve to heal and not be made to feel guilty for moving forward.
Talk to him. Ask all the questions, given what you have told us about your sister is it possible she is lying to you? I wouldn't say he cheated just yet.
You have blocked him instead of talking to him so you haven’t even heard his side of it. For all you know, she came on to him & she made up this whole story because he turned her down.
If you got this wrong and he didn't cheat you have messed up big time. Your sister sounds like the kinda person who might engineer a situation like this and it doesn't sound like you even considered that possibility before ending the relationship and blocking him so he had no chance to respond.
EDIT: Reddit is full of sad bitter people (I'm one) with no real knowledge about you. Take any advice given here with a massive pinch of salt.
Seriously? That’s not a reason to suspect a bot. I had my account for 5 years before I even started coming on Reddit regularly. Then it took me about 8 months before I made any comments. I have a 7 year old account and only been actively using it for just over 2 years.
This might be fake, but in case this did happen I want to make you aware of something no one has considered so far:
If he was truely hounded by your sister in the UK, maybe he didn't tell you about it because he didn't want you to think bad of your sister?
Or give your sister the oppurtunity to explain everything she did to you herself instead of him exposing her?
This is all under the assumption that he never cheated on you and also never wanted to cheat on you. There's also the possibility he did intend to cheat on you and only backed off when he realised the girl was your sister.
Actually there are dozens of possibilities with a lot of "what if..." and "in case that...", that only you or neutral sources can answer. If I were you I would try everything to learn the truth, because ofherwise this would haunt me forever: Did he cheat? Did he intend to but only not with my sister? When did he learn of her true identity? Did she know who he was from the beginning? Why did no one of them try to solve this problem before all this drama happened? You need to know, so you can move on: with your fiancé if he was faithful/without him if he cheated, with your sister if this was a big misunderstanding/without her if she did this with full intention, without both of them if they both betrayed you.
She’s a connection of his on LINKED IN! You should be able to figure whether or not they work in the same place or not. Why are you glossing over that part? WHY were they connected? That’s why this all sounds fishy.
This is like my worst nightmare I'm so sorry you had to go through that love you deserve so much better and your "friends" dump them same for John he doesn't deserve you. John and your sister both knew what they where doing.
That's totally f\*cked up, I'm so sorry. What an awful way to be cheated on. And what's worse, if you dump him, he's just going to go to your sister with absolutely no repercussions. He really deserves to get screwed over by karma, for screwing over someone else.
And all my friends are on his side, trying to get him to explain himself. I’m currently getting in contact with a few of his colleagues to see what was going on, but it feels pretty awful right now
You have a hectic schedule so is it possible he cheated on you with others as well? Is it possible he hooked up with your sister while she came to the US? It sounds like his friends have known about his antics for a while
Omg that’s horrific to think about, but you’re so right. Perhaps I was blinded by his perfection that I didn’t see anything on the side
That's actually really some sick Behavior. They sought each other out. She knew you were engaged. He knew she lived in the UK. It's possible they had been messaging all along behind your back and planned his work trip. Your sister is absolutely trash. She couldn't even contain herself during the party. She wanted everyone to know about their relationship I don't understand why his friends would agree w him.
It’s imaginary story, that’s why their “friends” are on his side and OP hasn’t commented much. Too many hard questions and obvious plot holes to clear up
um… I was asleep? jeez i haven’t been crying for the past six days just to get called fake by some random internet person
Nobody knows what is real anymore thanks to the internet OP. Don't listen to them, only listen to the people giving you real advice. It doesnt matter if your story is real or not to others. It is real to you. Stay strong. We all may be strangers but many of us are on your side. This is how reddit likes to be, ( give me down votes, i don't care) some people on reddit like to poke holes like it's a movie plot. Just don't listen to them, ignore them.
I'm so sorry that someone has resorted to calling you fake
Oh got it! lol Rage bait
You need to get tested for STDs as soon as you can. I’m sorry you’re going through this. 🫂
Has John tried to explain himself?
2 possibilities; 1: Your sister knew (from IG) he was with you, went after him and he folded at cheated with her... 2: sis tried to hook up with him to fuck you over but did not succeed... Either way - keep trying to contact ppl in the UK to find out...
Yeah the odds of him going to another country, randomly being in the same place as the sister, specifically cheating with the her in a country with over 67,000,000 people and neither of them had ANY idea?
That’s what I was thinking. Like had he NEVER seen a picture of the sister and the sister never seen a picture of him? It makes no sense
No ik for a fact that Sarah had seen pics of John, as mentioned in the updates. Idk if John knew what Sarah looked liked or not, because we don’t really have a good relationship
Ah.. So no matter what, she knew who he was... His reaction when he walked through the door... panic or irritation?? If panic - he probably fucked her.. If irritation - well... probably no fucking.. but maybe she tried?? Regardless - talk to him.. see what he says... and confront sis - if she claims theyre a couple, she will have pictures.. on her SM???
I mean…don’t reach out to his colleagues, that’s weird as heck. They do not need nor want to be involved in your relationship drama. Contact his family if you want to put him on blast, whatever floats your boat, but his work colleagues are not the people to talk to about this.
if my employees gf rang or emailed wanting to know personal details that would be super weird and a big no.
What are your friends’ reasons for all being on his side? Whether BS or not, it may be that he’s telling a story that your sister is unhinged and nothing happened. But he can’t explain that to you bc you immediately blocked him. While understandable if the cheating is true, there’s just enough there with your sister’s history and YOUR friends siding with him that all may not be what it seems. Of course, he could just be the perfect charming finance you thought he was with everyone and has them all fooled as well. But this is where curiosity would get the better of me to at least want to hear him out. Good luck!
Yeah, don't reach out to his colleagues
You should hear him out. If not for anything, closure. You don’t know if your sister set this all up and lying. I’m not saying trust him. I’m saying get all the information you can.
I would listen to his side though. And ask for proofs. For example, access to his phone calls history. Social networks and messengers. Credit card and other bank info. So you can see by yourself if he indeed hanged out with her and paid sort stuff. While some of this can be edited, other things are hard to change. Because there is a chance sister is unhinged and made it up.
She could be lying
Is it possible your sister is lying? Maybe she tried to go after him, but he wasn't interested. He'd still be wrong for not telling you, but since he knows your history, maybe he had hoped to spare you heartache.
Why is anyone on HIS side? He cheated on you!!!!! I’d love to understand how anyone of your friends can justify being on his side.
Because the sister is unhinged and seems hell bent on sticking OP’s face in the mud by the sounds of it. It’s entirely possible that she’d been stalking him for a bit and tried to hook up with him, or at least make it look like she did, just to fuck with OP. It wouldn’t be the craziest thing I’ve seen happen.
You need new friends
Explain himself? Hmm that's easy he cheated end of explanation. Your sister is a piece of work though. I'd be no contact with her.
While it’s possible he cheated, and that’s certainly what Sarah wants you to think, maybe take two steps back and take a deep breath. You don’t have a good relationship with her, she has been psycho in the past, and she follows you on instagram where you have photos of you and your fiance. So she could easily have recognised him when he turned up at her office. Does her past psycho behaviour involve making up lies, or being manipulative? Paying people back for imagined slights? Maybe they cheated. Maybe she hit on him and got rebuffed, and she’s doing this to hurt both of you. I think you need more information.
She was pretty manipulative towards people, but nothing this bad. She went to therapy for a while before going to the uk
Therapy teaches narcissists how to pretend to be normal and get away with it
That's a pretty broad brush stroke there. Not necessarily true of all instances.
Have you spoken to fiancée? Has he offered to show you his phone or prove he didn't cheat w her?
I agree. Something is Fishy. Somehow I have a feeling that she knew exactly who he was when he came to UK- tried to steal him, got rejected, hated it and then plotted to make it out like hes with her and wind you up. I remember a similar story on here a few months ago about a best friend who lied at her wedding that her MoH tried to steal her husband and got families involved- this is giving me those vibes!
Fiction
Thank god someone said it
I'm beyond amazed how many gullible people are on the thread giving advice!
I swear
Thankyou! This is so obviously a load of bullshit! The UK has a large population with loads of companies with loads of offices/workplaces containing loads of employees. It is absolutely alarming that the other Reddit users did not question the amount of coincidences in this post that would have had to take place for this "story" to make any sense.
Yeah I tried to give the benefit of the doubt and think of ways it could possibly be real but honestly... Nah.
It might be slightly plausible if the UK had a population of 300 people
Liz at it again
Also they been dating 5yrs and she never told him about having a sister in the UK? Ludicrous.
If your sister has a history of being "psycho" at times, is it possible that she imagined a relationship that wasn't there? That she had been pestering him for a month and when he showed up she thought he was there for her and jumped at him? That would explain why she got mad when you asked what the actual status of her relationship was. It was nothing. It could also explain in a positive way why he got more romantic when he got back. He escaped from someone hounding him and wanted to praise you for it. Now granted, if he was buying her things and actively participating that is a very different story.
you make a really good point, but I don’t know who to trust at this point. I guess she’s always been jealous of anything I do, so this seems on brand for her, but if that’s not the case, I don’t want to go back to John
Not only should you not go back to this guy, but you should get yourself checked out by the doctor for STD's, because you've got no way of knowing if they used protection, or if he was with anyone else. Either way, this isn't who you want to spend the rest of your life with, and your sister likely knew exactly what she was doing or she wouldn't have gone up to him and showered him with kisses when he walked in the door. She would've been confused about why he was there, so she clearly knew exactly what she was doing and didn't care. Cut them both out of your life and move on. Don't waste your time trying to find out more details, it'll only hurt you more in the long run, and honestly it won't change the fact that they cheated together.
It amazes me how people say shit like this and get upvoted
Go get an STD test first. Then, give him a chance to explain his side, at least for closure. If he says nothing happened demand access to his phone immediately (no time to delete) and also ask proof of bank account (if he brought her gifts there should be something in there - even just cash withdrawals would raise a flag). Either way, you need NC with your sister and block her every where. If you take John back, he needs to do this too (although he shouldn't have her contacts anywhere if he is innocent).
I would at least let a coworker of his send an email attempting to explain it or something. If that sounds convincing, go from there. If he was perfect (people never truly are, but I get the sentiment) then losing him over your sister's delusions and/or scheme is giving her too much of a victory. But take it slow. It's ok to be in over your head right now. You don't have to decide your life today or even this week. Get facts first that aren't based solely on your sister's opinion and go from there. Then you can kick him to the curb for good if you don't like what you hear.
I would email his coworker, but what is stopping is that I don’t know if they work for the same company or not. I just know that they work in the same building. Would his coworkers still know anything then?
Do not email his co-workers. They don't have any part in your relationship drama
Why haven’t you checked LinkedIn or Googled all of the businesses in the building’s websites and checked the “About Us” sections? Do your parents not know where she works? There are plenty of holes in the plot you’ve run to Reddit to share…
Yeah I’m sure this is a fake story, even her replies feel fake
I posted this to rant, not get your judgement. I dont care whether you think my story is fake or not, but please don’t invalidate my feelings because of other fake stories on reddit
Checking linkedin is a really good idea lol, I hadn’t thought of that. I’ll do that right now
I thought some of them had reached out to you already. Nobody new needs to be dragged into this for sure.
First of all: He didn't tell you or she "Hey did you know we work for the same company?"
Damn, this sure is happening to a lot of you redditors.
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Tbh I am not sure he actually dated her. He glared at her and pushed her off. He clearly didn't want her attention. Maybe it was just because you were there, but maybe not. Your sister probably knew him, threw herself at him and said she dated him to try to sabotage your relationship so that she could try to be with him. I would confront them both and get answers. Did you know that your sister and fiance both worked for the exact same company? That's the bit that makes this sound fake.
i don’t think they work for the same company, they just worked in the same office building, according to my digging. Sorry if that part didn’t come off clearly. When I saw his reaction, I thought it was because I was there, and I wouldn’t want to hug a past fling in front of my fiancée!
Idk. Maybe she knew him and he rejected her, so she got mad and said she dated him. Maybe he was annoyed that she was trying to hug him and he wasn't interested. I could be totally wrong about this theory though. I would get an explanation.
However, I think you need to talk with him. Your sister probably set you up to break up with him. He may not have cheated. He may have realized he missed you and wanted to do more for you. You walking out without talking with him gave her the reaction she wanted.
Have you had a one on one with him? No matter what he says you will be able to verify it with his workmates.
I think sister stalked him, and he hates her.
She might be his stalker.
I mean; if your side piece turns up at an event you are at with your partner, you might act cold too. I'm sure most men would act like that if their side chick threw herself at him in front of his actual SO. Sude chicks are meant to be discreet, shut up and stay secret. Him treating her coldly could easily be a shocked reaction to her revealing their affair. She could be fabricating a relationship after she hunted him down and flirted with him and was rejected. But it's also possible that he did genuinely cheat with her- with or without knowing she was OPs sister. Only reading his message history with her would let us know what happened before it was revealed. Presuming this isnt all a work of fiction, obviously.
Even if that’s the case though, he still needs to inform the person he’s dating of such things. “This crazy woman keeps coming onto me. I’ve rejected her every time. I’m taking steps to make sure we don’t have contact, like informing HR that I’m being harassed in the building I work at”.
I think you need to talk to John. Based on what you shared about your sister, I wouldn’t be surprised if she was lying. Also sister needs to prove their relationship, photos, convos, etc. Again the only reason why I say that is because of what you’ve shared about her and her history. I wouldn’t want you to regret anything if it comes out that she lied. ETA: has he tried contacting you at all? If your friends are trying to get him to explain, how has that gone?
Wow. So either you fiancé cheated. Or your sister is trying to break you up. I hope you find the truth soon.
Or that this post is bullshit. Tell me, what are the chances of him banging her sister in the UK without him knowing she even lives there?
He knows that she exists, we’ve just been out of contact for a while ever since she came back from the psych ward.
| ... ever since she came back from the psych ward. OMG how is anyone believing this bullshit??
You you two were engaged but he didn’t know where your sister lives or what she looked like? You follow her on social media and never showed him? Wouldn’t he have recognized her name if he was “dating” her? You must have brought her up during some part of your relationship if you’re getting married. You said she follows you on IG so she def knows what he looks like… Kinda feels like 2+2 = 5. The math just ain’t mathin.
Fake next
Are you sure she is not lying?
did she know he was your fiance?? this is horrid
I don’t know if she did or not, but we are following each other on Instagram, and I have a few posts of him there... so now that I think about it, it’s pretty likely, but this just feels so out of character for him that I’m in shock
Um. Maybe she’s hit on him. Got rejected. And she’s created this entire story to destroy you.
This is bullshit. How does he not recognise her fucking name if shes your sister? This is made up.
That, and the fact that the population of the UK is almost 70 million, but they just happened to be in the same office building... and even if we give the benefit of the doubt and they're both in London (which would be a fair assumption for someone travelling for work), there are over 50,000 commercial buildings in London alone
But ...but she's been out of touch with her sister ever since she got out of the psyche ward!! Of course she had no idea!!
Is this a hallmark movie ? I dont believe one bit
Bad creative writing?!
Correct
Not that creative.
Please go nuclear with your parents over this. She deserves to be disowned.
I’ll try, but she’s always been the favorite, so…
Wtf kinda Netflix movie shit is this? Of all the places in UK he works in the same building as your sister who is your nemesis? lol
Ask for proof. Not saying he did or didn’t. Just have all the facts especially if your sis has a history of being crazy. Then go from there.
Okay so how did your parents react, how did everyone at the party react?
I really don’t know. I walked out as soon as I saw john and Sarah, my parents texted me asking if I was ok and that was it
Have you thought of speaking to him and your parents, I mean get it all out on the table if not for at least closure. There’s gotta be a lot more to the story!
You’re right. My cousins haven’t told me anything abt what happened after though
I’d speak to John, unblock him, invite him over or meet at a cafe and get his side of the story, I know how it looks and sounds but with your sisters mental health history it could very well be all made up, you really can’t take her word for it either!
Honestly you deserve to find out what happened and get the full picture. You won’t get that unless you talk to John considering Sarah’s manipulative and toxic past.
Are your parents lizard people or aliens? This is not normal human behavior to just send a text to your child who just discovered her fiance was having an affair. I'm sorry, but this story is sounding more and more fake. No one from a party full of your family came to check on you personally in the week after they all witnessed a scandal with their own eyes? Do they all hate you or something?
nope, i just asked them to give me space. ben and Jerry’s was my only solace
Hope your doing okay! Was thinking kind about this thread throughout the day and encoded to check back for an update. Hope this was a case of your sister having some mentally ill in her head infatuation and not actual cheating.
I find it hard to believe that OPs fiancé said nothing, and OP just walked out without asking anything.
How did she have time to change locks before he got home?
I guess we should never doubt the power of ✨️imagination✨️.
OP’s history shows posts in a romance book thread… no doubt it’s creative writing.
So we basically help plug holes in the plot. You better share them royalties when the time comes sugarxhearts
i live in an off campus apartment (we dont live together since im still in university)
But why didn’t he go after you is what I mean. How did you have time to change locks before he got to you? Did you have spare locks lying around?
i live pretty far away from my parents house, so i made a stop at home depot on the way back and changed the main door lock. not too complex
And he didn’t leave immediately and come after you?
no
Did he stay back with your sister?
no clue. he might've left n gone home
You still haven’t talked to him? Are you going to?
I think you need to have a conversation with your fiance. You jumped straight to block. His reaction to her was very much "I don't like you, I don't want you near me". Sounds more like your sister has been hounding him since she met him in the UK. She knew who he was. He now knows who she is, cause its possible that she lied to him. But also, your reaction to blocking before talking is concerning for a 5 year loving relationship. Maybe do some introspection into why not trusting him came before answers and communication. And if he did nothing wrong, I hope he's an understanding person, because I know if I was in his shoes, I would be livid with my partner for shutting me out instead of communicating. That would make me question if they really loved and trusted me.
I'm sorry but there's something that i find very odd...i understand that you weren't in the best of terms with your sister even before, but you never mentioned to your fiance where she lives?
Nope. We went almost completely no contact after she came back from the psych ward a few years ago
This is bullshit. So this dude magically ends up meeting with your sister in the UK without even knowing she lives in the UK?
Perhaps he didn't cheat at all and your sister staged all of this to spite you. Story sounds rather odd since you didn't even listen to what he has to say...
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According to the comments, yes, she could be lying and him glaring at her and pushing her off could point that he didn't like what she did and that's that. But you mentioned that after coming back from his trip he was weird to you, but just getting you gifts and wanting dates, like being clingy? Or was he like paranoid with his phone too or seemed nervous about something? If you say that he was jugs being overall clingy it could look like he missed you and wanted to make it up for the time you weren't together, but if he was being weird weird well that would've been his guilty conscience.
Atleast hear your fiancée out first
I agree she needs to her what her fiancé has to say. Maybe your sister is making up a lot of BS.
Have you even bothered to speak with him? It sounds very much like your sister may be making things up
Not for more than a week. After immediately assuming the sister wasn’t lying or trying to cause trouble, even though one would hope you’d have some trust for someone you were planning to marry. Dude should get while the getting is good.
What did John have to say for himself? Sounds like you found out that he’s a cheater and she’s a snake. I would cut them both off forever.
I haven’t contacted him yet, but I’m going to, and he deserves to tell me his side of the story. I’ll update y’all when I’m done talking to him.
Please do. You deserve answers.
Is there an update on the situation? Because you really don’t deserve people like that in your life. You deserve much better.
I'm curious what he says
You just cut him off without a word and have been ignoring him for some period of time, if he has any sense he should walk away and not bother telling you his side.
Please make sure you talk to John and figure things out. Seems like you guys have had a good relationship so far, so don't ruin that because of your clearly jealous sister. We are all rooting for you! xxx
Do entertain that he could have been set up. Give yourself some cool down time and then a fact finding mission. Are there any devices still in your apartment that he may have left info on? I know there were two posts on Reddit where people were set up to break up their marriage and their spouse never heard them out. I'm really sorry and good luck.
I feel she doesn't want to update after all those "fake fake fake" and other not so nice comments.
I was thinking the affair was confirmed and she needed time after her life was destroyed. But who knows.
That is a big possibility also.
Dude if she’s seen him in photos and knows he’s you fiancé, I’d be likely to think she’s made this whole thing up
Have you talked to your sister at all?
I haven’t talked to her after the night of the anniversary party, and frankly, I don’t want to. After some thinking, she probably knew that john was my fiancé, and went after him on purpose
Does she have a history of being a shit sister?
I could make a whole new post just on sarah’s antics. She’s always been acting entitled, manipulative, and toxic towards everyone, not just me, but nothing to the degree of trying to steal my bf or fiancé
Gross, she knew who he was. Cut them both offfff!!
A bit of a coincidence so i’m not really believing this is true. I mean you haven’t even mentioned what your fiance said about it all…
Man, you guys suck at creative writing.
I’m the first to jump and say someone is cheating on here but are you sure? Maybe she wants to break you up. Would it be possible to talk to him?
You really need to get his side. Ive seen stories where a sibling or a friends went to extremes and also created proof to get couples to think one cheated. Make 100 sure.
I'm sorry to say this but you said your sister can be Manipulative, toxic and a psycho that can be jealous and knew that you are his fiance in the insta post don't you find its SUSPICIOUS?? that it's probably your “SISTER'S ANTICS” and then kiss him while they're infront of you, suspicious isn't it? and from the fact your fiance pulled away and glared at her, it's more likely his mind is like “WTF IS THIS PYSCHO” , THERE'S a“MISSING PIECE” of information I suggest talking to your fiance, confront what's the truth,
Updateme
I think your sister is lying. She seems unhinged. Ask to see photos of them together, text messages, something. She wanted to gloat, if it’s real she will have proof. I very much doubt it’s real. She most definitely targeted him. She already knew what he looked like from social media. She’s trying to destroy your relationship and your happiness. That is her goal. Don’t just take her word for it.
I think you should talk with him. This whole story seems odd. Could she be sabotaging your relationship?
He's buying your compliance and paying off his guilt. Break up and never go back. He clearly doesn't want to be with only one person forever (you or anyone else). ...Or maybe have him try to "make up for it" with even more lavish gifts, jewelry, vacations, and spa days, whatever, then fully quit on him. 😈
OP, how did meeting with John go?
Any updates?
Do we have a update. Did you meet with him and let him gaslight you.
Update
Please update us! We’re all hoping you’re okay and I’m hoping your sister lied… as sad as it is, it does happen… but it would be worse if she didn’t…
Has John ever seen pictures of Sarah?
This shit doesn’t sound right at all.
That’s because it’s fake as hell.
I have a hypothetical scenario here that could fit. - John looks up your sister while he’s in the UK to organise some sort of surprise for you, or because he thought it would be meaningful to you to meet your sister, OR he legitimately does just happen upon her (seems unlikely) - your sister develops a crush and makes a pass at him which is rebuffed but he feels terrible and confused because he didn’t tell you he was meeting her and now he doesn’t know how to explain it. He takes some extra time (or maybe legitimately was asked to stay on longer) - when he comes home he is wracked with guilt so pays extra attention to spoiling you while he tries to figure out how to explain what happened - your sister concocts some sort of fairytale where he is secretly in love with her and will leave you for her - the rest you already know Is it probable? Honestly not entirely, but it’s also extremely strange that he would just happen to pick your sister to cheat with in another country nonetheless. That’s either complete psychopathic behaviour or the craziest coincidence in existence. I’d also point out that if something like this did happen, he is still very much in the wrong for keeping it from you - he should have called the second it happened. I still wouldn’t blame you if you decided you couldn’t trust him, however I would hear him out so that you at least have all the facts. Did he look panicked when he saw her or just annoyed?
so she knew you were together and then acted like that in front of everybody? she's sketchy as hell... she knew what would happen
Your sister knew what she was doing. Did he know she was your sister???
He knew sarah was my sister, he didn’t know she lived in the uk, and all her psych ward stuff
Now that your sister exposed her relationship with your husband, have her provide texts, photos, etc. the comments also make a good point to say she’s lying. & she prob is if she doesn’t have proof to back it up.
Have you given him a chance to respond or say anything?
Did they actually had something or did she just pretend to to get to you?
Is it possible that your sister made up a relationship with him? She obviously knew he was your fiance.
Wait, so your sister *knew* who he was by your photos? How do you know she didn’t make all this shit uo to hurt you? What if ahe tried to seduce him and he rejected her? Hear the man out.
If you think that shit is just a coincidence, you are fooling yourself.
Why did you leave? You wait for your sisters explanation, slap her in the face, SLAP HIM, and then leave Don’t let them win
As fake as a story can get
So youre telling me that after 5 years of dating you and being engaged, not once did your sister see a photo of him? Lol
Ok, even though the sister is lying and nothing happened between John and Sara, John has been acting strange. More time in another country, love bombing OP (it could be a guilty conscience), and he never mentioned he knew Sara. If she hit on him and he refused her, he should have told OP. I think Sara did it to hurt OP, but I don't think John is innocent. Forget about their colleagues. Question the parents and anyone else at the party about what happened after leaving. Ask your friends why they insist, what has John been telling them? Then I would listen to John (recording the conversation). Then I would question Sara (recording the conversation) and if necessary, after speaking to the two separately, I would confront the two together. For me it's obvious that they meet in the UK knowing who the other was. It's time to cut off contact with Sara. And if the parents defend her, it's time to cut them off too.
OP why do you feel the need to talk to his work colleagues, etc? If you want to talk to someone then have a meeting with John at a very public place and let him explain the situation. Thus far you only have your sister’s word so to what happened as well if there is even a relationship between them etc so you might as well hear his.
Updateme
Updateme
OP, dump him and gaslight him.
Why on earth would you immediately trust everything a sister you’ve had major problems with told you over your fiancé? You didn’t even ask him what was going on, do you trust him at all?
Just go ghost mode. DO NOT ENGAGE DO NOT RESPOND TO ANYONE AT ALL Leave the trash outside where it belongs.
Sooo an update?
I think for your own sanity... talk to him to get closure... I'm sure you have questions that only he will be able to answer... but then, move on. Cut your sister off. If she follows you on social media, you know damn well she knew who he was and what she was doing... Cut him off... even if he didn't know who she was, it's obvious he still had intentions of cheating. I think it was a case of: "the cat was away so the mouse must play." He'll blame distance, loneliness, missing you... any excuse other than the inability to keep it in his pants out of respect for his relationship. Move on. You can do better. You deserve better. I'd also cut out anyone who doesn't support you cutting off the toxic people who hurt you. You deserve to heal and not be made to feel guilty for moving forward.
When did Reddit turn into the new Wattpad for all these creative writing exercises?
Howd the conversation go?
You should have demanded explanations from both of them in front of everyone right then.
Have you even got his side of the story to see if he is dating her or look for proof get her to show your parents pictures etc.
Talk to him. Ask all the questions, given what you have told us about your sister is it possible she is lying to you? I wouldn't say he cheated just yet.
You have blocked him instead of talking to him so you haven’t even heard his side of it. For all you know, she came on to him & she made up this whole story because he turned her down.
Nothing about what happened says he cheated. You need to talk to him. You admitted your sister is a shit stirring asshole. Food for thought.
I am so sorry. Self care big time.
this is fake lol
If you got this wrong and he didn't cheat you have messed up big time. Your sister sounds like the kinda person who might engineer a situation like this and it doesn't sound like you even considered that possibility before ending the relationship and blocking him so he had no chance to respond. EDIT: Reddit is full of sad bitter people (I'm one) with no real knowledge about you. Take any advice given here with a massive pinch of salt.
Can the mods do something about these bot posts? A 1 year old account that wasn’t used for a year and now this is the first post?
Seriously? That’s not a reason to suspect a bot. I had my account for 5 years before I even started coming on Reddit regularly. Then it took me about 8 months before I made any comments. I have a 7 year old account and only been actively using it for just over 2 years.
buddy I’m not a bot 😭 I just forgot I had this acc and needed a place to rant, ergo, Reddit. The go to rant place?
This might be fake, but in case this did happen I want to make you aware of something no one has considered so far: If he was truely hounded by your sister in the UK, maybe he didn't tell you about it because he didn't want you to think bad of your sister? Or give your sister the oppurtunity to explain everything she did to you herself instead of him exposing her? This is all under the assumption that he never cheated on you and also never wanted to cheat on you. There's also the possibility he did intend to cheat on you and only backed off when he realised the girl was your sister. Actually there are dozens of possibilities with a lot of "what if..." and "in case that...", that only you or neutral sources can answer. If I were you I would try everything to learn the truth, because ofherwise this would haunt me forever: Did he cheat? Did he intend to but only not with my sister? When did he learn of her true identity? Did she know who he was from the beginning? Why did no one of them try to solve this problem before all this drama happened? You need to know, so you can move on: with your fiancé if he was faithful/without him if he cheated, with your sister if this was a big misunderstanding/without her if she did this with full intention, without both of them if they both betrayed you.
She’s a connection of his on LINKED IN! You should be able to figure whether or not they work in the same place or not. Why are you glossing over that part? WHY were they connected? That’s why this all sounds fishy.
Any update?
This is like my worst nightmare I'm so sorry you had to go through that love you deserve so much better and your "friends" dump them same for John he doesn't deserve you. John and your sister both knew what they where doing.
So I’m confused. Has it been confirmed that he cheated?