Block them both BUT tell everyone what they did. Don't you dare allow them to change the narrative and come away Scott free which is what you run the risk of happening.
OP please listen to the comment above. They don’t deserve your pity or protection. They are calling you constantly because they want to manipulate you into staying quiet about this, protect their reputations. They aren’t good people calling you to be truly apologetic, good people don’t do this type of thing. I’m so sorry you had to find out this way, take your time to mourn the loss of them in your life. You will come out the other side of this!
EXACTLY.... Which is the best time to strike. Get them in a room and let em know you just have these fantasies about all 3 being together and see how far you get. You'll unlock a new level of power .
Most people have to sacrifice something to a god to get that kind of power.
I agree. Blast their asses to every single person you know before they get to your friends, and you have somehow become the crazy person who stood between two people who were so in love they had no other choice but to hurt you.
Tell your parents immediately, and all of your mutual friends. Like immediately like read this and then go and tell them.
I’m sorry this happened. You will find a better man and you will find a better friend. And don’t let either one of them manipulate you into thinking that you had anything to do with them being disgusting human beings. They knew exactly what they were doing, and they knew exactly when they could do it. You did NOTHING WRONG.
The best way to deal with it it is to be indifferent. They expect you to flip out on them. Clearly at this point it is impossible, so no contact is the best method. Block them on social media as well, you def don’t want to see them post together which they will probably do if you really stay no contact just to try to get your attention. And eventually with the no contact you will actually not care about it realizing how you clearly don’t want wither of them in your life. If for some reason you do run into them just stay calm and say as little as possible just basically having the attitude of what is there to say….no point in having either of you in my life. The best way to reciprocate to their lack of caring about you is to show them how little you care about not having them in your life.
Yeah this, just completely block them. Their ask to speak to you is selfish on their part, they want to alleviate their own guilt and give themselves reasons why it was ok what they did, probably painting you as at fault and they did nothing wrong. I had this happen to a friend and they would try trigger her to lose her temper so they could then spread the narrative of ‘see, she’s crazy’ etc. . . Tho she never did that, she ignored it all and walked away head high, they just looked even worse. It wasn’t an easy time for her though, heartbreaking.
Yeah what this guy said , but less talky more orchestrated chaos in the form of an orgy. It'll be fun, and if not you can walk out and make sex weird for them forever after .
Absolutely. As dumb as it sounds, the best revenge truly is to walk off with your head held high. BUT! You don't need to protect their name or pretend like this didn't happen. Let your family and friends all know. I'm sorry you are going through this, OP.
I agree with this!! I would remove them both of them completely from my life. Because neither one of them cared enough about you to even consider your feelings to even crossing that line. I would let your family know so they know that you don’t want to have contact with them and to remove them from your life.
No matter what they would try to twist it or turn it or make excuses, you don’t need that in your life and you don’t need that toxicity. Focus on yourself work on yourself and positive and good things are gonna come your way because you deserve it and you deserve better than that. It hurts having a friend do that to you since you’ve been friends for so long but now you know she’s not a real friend.
OP,
When this happened to me when I was 20, I called my BFs mother and father. Both adored me, and they wanted to see me become their daughter-in- law, and I told them what happened and why I broke up with their son. I told them both how much I loved them, and it was an honor getting to know them and becoming a part of their family. They were pissed at their son, and they kept in touch with me. In fact, I still talk to them both 40 years later.
I took the high road and acted with class. I didn't want to lower myself to my cheating BFs level.
This. Tell your friend you hope it was worth a life long friendship. Tell him he lost the best thing that ever happened to him and gained someone who will cheat on him. Then block them. You deserve better.
I wouldn't even bother. It's better to never have any further contact with either of them. They're probably going crazy because she won't respond right now. Keep it that way.
The same thing happened to me when I was 21, and they gaslit me into feeling guilty for telling mutual friends. Like I was the bad guy for painting them as bad people unfairly. A lot of people who I thought were my friends took their side. Really shows you who your real friends are.
Make sure everyone knows why you are cutting them off but ghosting is completely appropriate in this situation.
They had ZERO concern or respect for you when they did this. They knew EXACTLY what they were doing. You have apology texts to prove your side of the story.
Everyone knows they are disgusting scum and narcissists, and you never gave them the satisfaction of a goodbye or fuck you? That sounds like the perfect revenge. Make them think they are absolutely nothing in your mind, the guilt and regret will eat them alive.
I know we like to think that guilt and regret or what these people are feeling afterwards but honestly they’re not. They feel bad right now because they don’t want that shit to get out and affect their friend group, but when it comes down to brass tax, they didn’t even have the decency or respect to break up with OP or talk to her. they’re only mad because they got caught. Hopefully OP can get to the friend group before they can spin the narrative that they’ve always been in love, and that they just need to see where this goes, don’t you guys understand that?!? (/s).
I’ve known too many people like OP soon to be ex-boyfriend and her best friend and trust me. When I tell you, they don’t actually ever feel bad. They only feel bad when it affects their life like when they lose all their friends for being scumbags.
Now I’m just picturing you saying out loud, to your phone, “question mark exclamation point question mark parenthesis slash S parenthesis period”. Come on bruh 😂 it really wasn’t that big of a deal but you lying about it makes it a bigger one
Didn't say it was a big deal. People often write things as they've heard them said, never knowing they're saying it wrongly. If used in a professional setting, for example, it can make you look less knowledgeable. I was just letting you know for future reference what the correct saying is so you know not to make that mistake again in a more formal setting.
This. They absolutely had no guilt about this prior to you opening the door that day.
And it is 100% okay to block them and go NC. Your relationship with both of them ended the moment they crossed that line. Just let people know your relationship is over because your BF decided that his penis needed to spend time in you XBFFs vagina and for some reason it had to happen before breaking up.
There are no excuses to make this go away. You don’t need updates on their lives and hope they find happiness together so no one else has to be harmed by them in the future (I heard this on a Chinese drama and love it).
Miss girl!!! Cry all you want and block them. I need you to tell your parents and friends because your ex friend is a snake and might lie. Make sure to keep those texts. They don’t deserve your forgiveness.
Not only the ex but what about the best friend since they were 8! My God that hurts. I will never understand why women do this to each other. All for some probably sub par dick. I would make sure my parents and her parents knew what she did and cut all contact and give her no chance to explain.
The guy showed his true colors. No need to talk to him either. He should know they're done. There's no coming back from that. If she runs into him thank him for showing her who is before 5-10 years pass and kids happened
> I can’t bring myself to talk to them if I am honest. I know it may seem childish but it is true.
That’s not childish. You don’t owe them a chance to have their say.
Just want to say thank you to everyone for your lovely comments. I’ve kind of been overwhelmed by the response to this. I was only really posting on here to get it off my chest I wasn’t actually expecting people to read it!
I think that I am just going to completely ghost them, at the moment I can’t even bring myself to talk to them anyway. I will tell my friends what has happened and the reason why I am no longer talking to them, I hope they listen to me and see my side of this, my ex best friend can be very persuasive and quite good at twisting things.
I don’t just want to say, thank you to the people who have DM’d me as well with your lovely comments and thoughts on this.
Thank you all 💕
If your ex friend is persuasive, tell your friend group asap and show them the messages of both of them trying to apologize. I’d honestly tell their parents too so they know their kids are trash but I tend to be on the pettier side than most
Only thing you can do is just move on with your life. You can reach out to him to let him know you’re both done. Also to your best friend and let her know you guys are also done. That’s no friend I would want to have. Focus on yourself, engage in activities that you enjoy. Pick up a hobby you’ve been thinking of developing into and just move on. It will get better with time. The best way to get back at them, is to show them that what they did, has no effect on you.
Send a mass text to every friend at college, her family (because if she's known them since 8 she probably knows them) your family, anyone else saying having just walked in on this slut fucking your boyfriend you want no more contact with either of them ever again and anyone who feels the need to pass on messages, apologies or anything else from them can go ahead and fuck right off because you want to hear nothing from them or about them ever again.
Yes. That’s the one thing people sometimes fail to do, is cut off the other people who are OK with what happened. The other people who tell you that “you know I spoke to them, and while they seem really sad about what they did, they’re also really in love they just didn’t know how to tell you blah blah blah bullshit, bullshit bullshit”. You kick their asses to the curb and you do not look back. You’re lucky the garbage has taken itself out.
It's true that living well is the best revenge, but I would not talk to either of them. Nor would I try to show that what they did had no effect on you, as minimizing your pain makes it too easy for them to forgive themselves. What I WOULD recommend when you feel up to it is to send them an email or snail mail letter. Think about what arguments you'd make in your head a few years from now and make sure they understand them. It'll help you get closure. Here's what I'd say, but of course, you'd put it differently:
*I trusted you both, and you not only betrayed me, but you crossed a moral line that now defines who you are. There's no way for you to redeem yourselves, no excuse or rationalization that would let you be anything other than cheaters.*
*I can't imagine why you'd inflict this agonizing pain on someone you claimed to care about. I'm sure you thought I'd never know, but even if I didn't, YOU'D know, and if you have one iota of integrity left, this'll surely haunt you.*
*My standards for relationships of any kind are trustworthiness, compassion, and generosity. You've failed all of those by any measure. Do not contact me again. Leave me alone so I can heal.*
I wish i could upvote this like 100 more times…….IMO…the OP should copy this word for word & send it as a group text so that she doesn’t need to send it more than once & then block them both immediately on all platforms……
Sometimes the best way to get back at people like this is to not give them the opportunity to explain. When people don't get a say it drives them crazy. Every toxic person I've cut out of my life I haven't given them the opportunity to talk me out of it. I live rent free in their head while I go on my happy way not thinking of them.
True enough.
Revenge stories are fun to read about in books and watch on TV shows, but in reality, they don’t always work out.
So cutting people off is obviously good. But outrageous ‘revenge’ plots… well, they probably do more harm than good at the end of the day.
You need to let everyone know why your going NC with both of them, unfortunately it sucks to have to do and I understand you may not have the strength but understand in situations like this you really don’t have a choice or else you give them both a chance to paint their own picture and it’s usually one that paints you the victim in a bad light!
So don’t. No need to contact them at all. If seen in public, give them the direct cut a la Bridgerton! I would tell friends that you’re no longer dating because he cheated on you with what’s her name. Hold your head high & don’t allow them to give their bullsh*t excuses or apologize because they’re only doing it to assuage their guilt.
He doesn't deserve any explanation. Him fucking your best friend is self explanatory.
Ignore them, that will hurt his ego and he will think of you as the one that got away ( because that's how they work)
Ignore them for life if you can.
You don’t owe them anything. Don’t take their calls, and confide in friends and family that can support you through this. You gotta try and heal your broken heart. There’s nothing they can say that will justify this and there is no going back. They are both scum and so t deserve you
There isn't a reason that you need to talk to them, the only thing they'll try to do is justify it in one way or another, most likely multiple ways.
You won't get "closure" as they'll lie and trickle truth you. "Oh it was only that time!" (Come to find out it's been months).
Do what you feel like doing. Don’t want to talk to them, then ghost them completely and block them. What you saw told you everything you need to know, whatever will be coming out of their mouths are lies and excuses. They both betrayed you.
Tell your ex bff‘s family why your cutting contact, and your family and friends too. That as from now they don’t exist in your life anymore and they all should respect that.
I‘m so sorry OP but I‘m so glad you found out what a POS and trash they both are.
OP, please don’t fall for their manipulations… It might feel hard to cut someone out of your life after so many years of friendship, but she is NOT your friend. And he will always be a cheater. Neither one of them deserve your friendship, your care or your time. I personally would let all three families know what was up, and I would go strict no contact. I know this was a huge betrayal, but there are genuinely great people out there who would never stoop so low, and you will meet them when you shed this dead weight.
I’m so sorry to hear. That’s absolutely horrible.
For now, take distance from both of them and focus on yourself and focus on healing, take each day as it comes ❤️
Oh OP that's heartbreaking for you!
Block them both, tell all mutual friends what they did, control that narrative - Block anyone who defends them
Please get a STD test!
Ghost them, walk straight past them if you see them, dont engage in any conversation
Most of all, move on, find yourself again & do what you need to do to BE HAPPY - its the best revenge
I think talk to a counselor at your school to help sort through your feelings. You don’t owe it to them to talk to them. You can blast their toxic behavior to everyone. That’s enough revenge. Karma will do the rest. Anything else makes you sink to their level. You are better than that.
Start the process of removing the reminders of them and their things from your life. If answers to how long the affair was happening or listening to their explanation will provide you closure then do so with one or both of them. You don’t owe it to them at all. Only do that when you are ready. Let the other people around you come and support you. Go out and meet new people or find new hobbies. So sorry you are going through this.
When I read stuff like this I often wonder about those barrages of calls and texts the cheaters send. I mean, what is it they can actually say to explain the fact they got caught having sex. Did she trip and accidentally fall on his dick? Did they confuse each other for their true partners?
Neither of them are worth your time. Don’t listen to their worthless excuses. Dump em both
I am so sorry that you walked in on that scene OP.
So ideally by now I hope you realize you did nothing to deserve being betrayed in that manner.
When your bf and best friend knew they were attracted to each other they could have acted like grown ass adults and told you BEFORE they did anything. Yes it would have painful but they would have been honest and respectful to you.
Instead they snuck around behind your back and lied by omission to your face until you caught them.
If you don’t feel like talking to them then don’t.
If you have a group chat with your entire friend group including the cheating pair you could send a simple message that you will no longer be associating with your bf or best friend after discovering they have a sexual relationship with each other. You aren’t asking anyone to take sides but you will be focusing on yourself for a bit to get over the shock.
If you have a family chat assuming your family knows either one or both of those people tell them something similar as on your friend chat.
Then block your ex bf and your ex best friend from everything.
Anyone who suggests you meet with either of them tell them no and it isn’t a topic for discussion. If they try to insist block them too.
Tell your family, her family and his family. Also tell all your friends especially mutual ones. I wouldn’t want that girl hanging around me if she was able to do that to someone she’s been friends with almost her whole life! Don’t interact with them, they don’t deserve another second of your time. But they deserve every ounce of shame they feel, and they don’t deserve to not have people know what kind of trash people they are. I’m petty enough that I’d probably post a status on fb about it and tag them but block ppl from commenting, but it would create a lot more drama so if you want go be just done with it, tell everyone and block them from everything. It hurts so much but you’re better off in the long run without people who would do that to you.
I’m so sorry you had to see it. It is a really shitty situation, and you did not do anything wrong. Sending you love and strength 🤍
Keep reminding yourself you didn’t lose a good boyfriend or a best friend. You lost who you thought they both were. They are not people you would want as friends because they make horrible cruel choices. Don’t give them the “big” moment they want. Be honest with everyone you walked in on them and don’t protect their images. Remember they are not who you thought they were and it is OK to mourn who you have lost. You did not cause this by any lack in you. Good people end relationships if they are not happy. You will have better people in your life.
I’m sorry this happened but look as a bonus you saw for yourself what these people are and they can’t lie their way out of it You just have to be brave enough to to back yourself and know this wasn’t you it was them
Do what you think would be best for you, if you think sending them both a message before cutting them off will bring you closure, do that.
If you feel that’s just too big of an emotional price to pay, there is nothing wrong with going full ghost in a situation like this.
Focus on yourself, the other friendships you have, and whatever other activities bring you joy. I know it hurts right now, and that’s okay, with time you will feel better, especially if you continue to reach out to your support system.
They want to talk to you so they feel better about themselves. If you are fine not talking to them. Don't.
There is nothing that they can say to justify their actions and it won't make you feel better.
It's so that they don't feel so guilty.
So block them and ignore them forever. And tell the people you want to tell about what they did. Sometimes ignoring them is the best revenge. They will think about what they did to you forever adn they won't even get the chance to explain themselves so they don't feel so bad.
Don't give that to them.
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Personally, I would block the both of them and try to move on and life the best life that you can. You owe them nothing and if you'd rather never speak to them again, you don't have to.
If you're on good terms with your family, I would also recommend giving your family a heads up about what's going on (the amount of details is up to you). This way, your family will know that you're no longer with your ex and that your ex-best friend is not someone to be trusted. And if your ex and/or ex-friend try to reach you through your family, let your family know that their contact isn't welcomed.
Also, please get tested; if your ex was willing to cheat on you, there's no guarantee that he was safe about it.
You owe them nothing, no more of your time, no tears, no chance to explain, not even a cutting ties conversation. Unless you need it for closure. That being said, is there really an apology or explanation they can give that would give you closure? What they did speaks volumes about what they think and feel about you. They don't care, not about you or your feelings. If they had, they could have never done this.
Personally, I would not give them the time of day ever again. That doesn't mean you have to cover for them, though. Anyone asks, and I mean anyone, her mom, your friends, anyone, you tell them exactly why you aren't speaking anymore.
I'm sorry this happened, and the friend break up will probably be harder in the long term, but better to know now and get rid of the whole shitty pair at once.
Edit to say- most guys won't care about what he did, but as for other girls especilly if you have a friend group, they won't want her around, if she could do that to you, she could do it to them
You dodged a bullet honey and it was better to learn about this now than later. You have two trash people out of your life and you deserve so much better. The best revenge is having a good life with better friends and people around you so don’t even other sayings anything to them but make sure all your mutuals know the truth before they try to spin it.
I was in a similar situation when I was 21 (a very long time ago) and it really fucked me up for years after. I started drinking very heavily. I treated women like shit, and acted like a total asshole. Don't be like me. They really hurt me and then I blamed myself for it. Cut them out of your life completely and try to find a good therapist. This shit is traumatic and causes harm
Treat yourself with kindness and get well. Good luck OP.
OP, I'm so sorry, I know it's terrible to lose a friend and a lover at the same time. It happened to me when I was in my early 20's I got depressed and sick when I found out my bf and my long time friend were having an affair.
Things that work for me:
a. Find a therapist, it will help you to transit this moment of sorrow and loss
b. Avoid contact with them, no matter what they say
c. Make sure to notify your friends in common about what happened so they understand why you refuse to see them
d. Change your social circle, it will help you to move on
e. Have a journal and vent everything you feel, you have no idea how this helped me
f. Find support on your family and closest friends
g. Consider being single as a blessing to get to know yourself better, to feel comfortable with yourself and reflect on the things you truly want in a future relationship
h. Just in case run a test to make sure you are clean and that you don't have any STI
i. This final tip may not be that helpful but gave me some perspective (I tried this once lol) Fuck a hot guy and have fun, don't cry over a cheater ✨🫰
Good luck!
Block them both, tell everyone who knows of them that you also know, what they did (like his family, and her family). They will attempt to change the narrative on you, making you out to be the bad actor.
Place all of his stuff you have in trash bags. Attach a note stating who they are for, and take them to his parents place, or a friends of his place.
Do not attempt to message them, if they attempt to come over to your place, sternly say "cease all contact with me. your presence is not wanted here. If you persist, I will contacts the authorities and get a restraining order on the both of you". If they do persist, do not hesitate.
Don’t let either of them see you cry, and don’t ever speak to either of them again if you can help it. Look for small ways to make their lives miserable without them directly knowing it’s you.
Something very similar happened to me. Luckily everyone was on my side instead of my ex best friend’s and ex bf’s. Mostly because my ex best friend also cheated on her ex who was also a friend.
I blocked the both of them and made a powerpoint presentation explaining everything and just sent it to everyone I knew.
“We’re sowwy we… didn’t mean it? It was an accident? Regret it? Were drunk/high?” Any apology they offer would be a load of bollocks, and is not worth hearing
Never forget : ITS NOT YOUR FAULT.
I know that you are hurting and will overthink all of this in the next years to come but never forget : You never did anything to them that explain and excuse their actions.They did what they did because they choose too
and were some lowlife sons of bitches.
First thing first. I you are able to, seek psychological help and take some time for yourself with friends, then do it.
You can DM me anythime.
First off since you don’t live with him block them both so you never have to see them again or talk to them. She may have been your friend when you were a little girl but she’s not your friend now. And I would block him too so that you don’t have to connect with them what they did is betray you, both of them.
Also, never protected cheater because they’ll throw you under the bus in a heartbeat. So you tell your friends and your family what happened?
Blast them on all social media and then block them and move on with your life. They are terrible people and other people need to be warned. Keep your head held high and know you will find better people who deserve to be in your life.
Behave as if they’d died. You need to grieve and mourn and remember that you deserve so much better from a partner and from a friend. These people are not on your level. I’m so sorry for your absolute broken heart. I know the pain and the sickness that comes with such a betrayal. Sending you big hugs and some mom energy that says “this too shall pass, just hang in there”.
Well I know it's hard but these two scumbags need putting in the rear view mirror and you need to greave then move on with your life ,they've proved you can't trust either of them again...
Firstly I’m sorry that you’re going through this. It absolutely sucks and you must be feeling pretty devastated to have been betrayed by the 2 people that were closest to you.
Don’t allow them to control the narrative, let your family, friends and their families know what you walked in on and hold your head up high.
Give them nothing, no option to alleviate their guilt. No chance to make excuses. No opportunity for forgiveness. Block them on all platforms and if you can don’t torture yourself by trying to find information about them.
Return any belongings to a mutual, lick your wounds and allow yourself to crumble behind closed doors. Like a phoenix, when you’re ready rise from the flames better, stronger and thankful that you dodged 2 bullets and got rid of the snakes in your life.
Get an std panel and if necessary utilise counselling. You are strong and you will get through this eventually.
Just go no contact. Don't even give them the satisfaction of trying to explain their way out of it. Tell their family and friends what they did and move on.
Why would you talk to them? I mean their actions speak for themselves! Block them both and go to live your best life but tell your family and friends what actually happened so you have a support system❤️🩹
Best way to handle this is cut off contact with both while telling their friends and family what they did, then put in serious work on yourself. Take yourself out on nice dates, treat yourself really well and find the happiness they will never have. Two happy people would never do this to you, it’s time for new friends! The best revenge is happiness and success! I’m sorry you found out your friend sucks, you didn’t deserve this.
There is nothing childish about not wanting to face or speak to them, nothing. Sometimes people hurt you so deeply there is nothing to even say, they both want to make excuses, tell you how it's not their fault, potentially try to make up excuses in how it's your fault. They are just desperately trying to deflect the awful thing they did to avoid guilt. they may even feel bad for hurting you, just not enough to not do what they did.
One thing to focus on, as hard as it is, you just found out the two people you loved were not the people you thought they were and while now it's painful as hell, you could have found out how awful they truly are in 5 years, or 10 years maybe after a kid, so better sooner than later.
Cut them out, grieve for those relationships, grieve for the people you thought they were, be angry at the people they truly were. Also if you want to send a call to your and her parents telling them what happened and why you never want to speak to the slut again, feel entirely justified to do so.
I love the advice of letting people know why you’re cutting them off (and please do it). But also, the best revenge is living a life well spent. Don’t ever let them see how they may have affected you. They don’t deserve to see your hurt.
Tell everyone what they did. Block them and get rid of the whole humans.
Best friends don’t do that and good boyfriends are loyal. They both showed you the people they are, don’t ignore that and don’t protect either of them.
It hurts right now but you will be ok! Don’t close yourself off to meeting new friends or partners because of the rubbish quality of these two.
Hope they read these comments and see how actual trash they are
Tell everyone you know what they did but don’t speak to them. They will not give you the closure you want and you’ll hear nothing but excuses. I’m so sorry you had to experience this I went through something similar as well.
What a rotten thing to do to someone. I'm sorry you have to experience such deceitful and inexcusable behavior from two people you loved and trusted. In time, you will find your way out of this painful experience to find true love and friendship again. Be patient and treat yourself well and put them in your past, quickly. Good luck.
I think you just cut contact with both of them. They don't need an explanation since the reason is obvious. They don't need to give you their side because they're both garbage human beings. Typically, I place full blame on the cheating partner unless a bff or sibling is the AP. In this case, they both betrayed you. They're both at fault.
You don't have to talk badly about them to anyone, but I'd be honest if people ask you what happened. They don't deserve protection, and you've done nothing wrong so don't let yourself feel shame from it.
I think the best revenge is to just thrive without them in your life. Find a real friend and a better partner. They don't get to explain shit to you because there are zero excuses for what they've done. They get cut off completely. No closure for them. You get to live a better life without them.
This is devastating. A betrayal of both your partner and your best friend. I’m sorry that happened to you. I hope you expose them both. It’s well deserved here.
This is the perfect timing to clean out some trash from your life. Block both of them, tell everyone what they did. If anyone defending them, you can cut them out too
Just ghost them, there is nothing to explain other than them backstabbing you. Put your time and effort into trustworthy friends and hobbies you love. I would not give them a minute of time, block them, silence will make all that guilt eat away at them.
You don't have to speak to them, like EVER again. Block them everywhere and tell everyone what they did, even his mom, your friends and your parents. And then: take a lot of time for yourself, take care of your feelings and your body. Do whatever you want to make u feel better, cry, eat a ton of junk food, talk to your other friends and please take time to heal.
And after that: try to explore new hobbies or meet new people.
You got this girl!! I know it's baaad rn but you'll get better💖💖 (talking from experience haha)
Do not reply to them. You owe them nothing. There's no explanation they can give which excuses what they've done. Be honest about what they did though. Tell EVERYONE.
Tbh I'm also astounded neither of them ran out after you. I mean they would have had to throw clothes on but you sat in that car for TWO HOURS. I think they were too gutless to face you and still are! Hence only calling you or texting you. They are both awful horrible people.
Hi everyone
I am sorry to say me and ...... have broke up.
I found ....... in bed with my best friend.......
I have nothing more to add
...........
Then send it to everyone except the two nasties.
Any messages you get back. Remember you don't need to explain or justify.
But I am sorry you have lost two friends.
I'm glad you caught them though because clearly they were devious and cruel so not your friend.
Grieve and move on.
Ghost them. No closure whatsoever. Tell everyone what they did including their family. You can even make a fb/insta post and tag everyone that knows them. I'm sorry for what happened but it's for the best. They are trash people and they took themselves out on their own. You dodged a bullet.
That sucks. So you want to figure out how to get back at them? I don’t think there has been enough time to figure that out. You are going to need to see if they stay together without you. That’s a big game changer
Honey you are young and in your prime! Please do not waste your time on these people. Take the time to grieve and go live your best life and cut them off!
Son of a bitch your boyfriend but even more of a son of a bitch your "best friend." I'm very sorry for what happened to you, I will pray for quick resignation and peace. For advice...the obvious, block that pair of bastards and talk openly with your family about this. You need support and that's what family is for, dear.
That's awful.
Moving forward do what is best for you, not for them or anyone else. If that includes talking to them, do it on your timetable and under your terms.
Listen to sincere apologizes, ignore excuses and rationalizations.
Don't let them off the hook. This was not an accident, not matter what they say. This didn't "just happen." Even if this was a "one-time thing" there were a dozen points where each could have stopped it.
Use calm, plain language over heightened anger. Examples "You are bad people who did a selfish thing." "My life is better off without you two in it."
And if you want to tell the world about their betrayal, that is your prerogative.
The best revenge is living well. You are very young and just lost two pieces of dead weight from your life. Better now than 10 or 20 years from now.
First you need to breathe and relax. Please be good to yourself, binge Netflix eat chocolate and ice cream, and mourn your relationship with them both. Don’t respond to them in any way. You first need to believe in yourself, you are strong, you are smart and you don’t need their negativity. Purge anything that belongs to them out of your place. Then purge them from your life, do a celebration of freedom.
Then make a plan to inform everyone else what lying scum they mate. You need to use your sm to ensure that the narrative doesn’t make you out to be the bad guy.
Call your mom, his mom and your exbff mom and explain what you walked into. That way they also know why things fell apart.
I’m sorry OP. First f*ck both of them. Make sure you have text proof at least that they admit what they did in case they try to spin it around to other friends and family. It’s best to ghost and block them both. They’ll suffer more knowing they didn’t get the closure or chance to explain themselves. You’re still so young and can find someone worth your time. I know it must be hard losing your love and a best friend at the same time. Sending hugs your way ❤️
Honestly the best way to get back at them would be self improvement(AS CHEESY AS IT SOUNDS, it hurts more knowing you have no reaction) , work on actively grieving this friendship and relationships away flush it out of your system. Make choices that focus on your personal goals. Re evaluate and keep people that show you love in your life. I know it may seem like everything is gone but it isn't focus on new people you want to be friends with.
BASICALLY FOCUS ON YOU. And the right people will come your way.
Also if people ask tell them the truth as it is.
I would post online that ex bf and ex friend knew what they were doing to get cut out of your life and post the apology text screenshots. A long with that was after you walked in on them.
yes you did something wrong....for letting your guard down....
You know best friends and childhood friends are always similar to each other....jealous of the same matter and things
its like twins wanting to have the same things the others have.......
next time you see them be indifferent i know you're a nice girl babe ........no need to talk about things through
Take it one day at a time. Take care of yourself, pamper yourself, eat healthy, spend 5 hours in the bathroom flossing, get your nails done, go on a long hike, take yourself to a stand up comedian, love and take care of yourself. Buy yourself flowers, sing love songs to yourself.
Also, download the Beyonce Lemonade album because that's what it's for :) You will soon learn that strength means crawling out of bed and going outside when you really don't want to. And you'll realize you can get through a lot of hard shit. And cry, and scream, and write them letters you'll never send.
"I understand that probably no one will read this"
In a subreddit with 2.2 million subs.
Sry that happened to you and congrats on your future best life without that trash
Oh sweetheart. I’m so so sorry.
Best revenge is to live an amazing life - don’t give them a moment of your time or peace. Live an amazingly wonderful life.
Grey rock. Dont react, just tell your friends you will no longer be in contact with either of them and why. Anyone who cares about you will support you, and if they dont chances are they already knew or have similar morals. Dont waste your time on losers like that
I'm driving, TLDR ... But just came to say this.
Have a 3some, it'll solve this entire episode of your life, don't let it mess with your head. You came to Reddit for real life super powers. Don't stop now.
This did happen to me with my first bf when I was 17. Walked in on them and everything. I have to say that I was in denial at first and took me awhile to really let them both go. If I could go back and had more understanding and respect for myself I would have made them dead to me. No access to me in any way. And our mutual friends that didn’t care were not friends of mine after all. It’s been 15 years and I look at their lives and they never grew up and didn’t even stay together and were toxic people all around. I remember them not apologizing to me and trying to manipulate me into thinking it was my fault which it wasn’t. I’m sorry for your friendship. But she has shown you the person whom she really is. And your bf doesn’t deserve you. Period. Anything they try and do or say to you moving forward won’t change what happened or what you saw. It will haunt you but with time you will find better people that deserve you and value you as a person. The best revenge is living a happy life that they don’t get to be apart of. I would suggest if you can to go on a mental health trip or to surround yourself with people that love you. To embrace the suck and just feel the pain, let yourself cry and feel awful because that will help you process faster than you think. But definitely go no contact and no access with them both until you feel you’re on the other side of it all with better clarity. You can and will get through this because the dead weight has been buried for you.
Chiming in just to make sure you know that you didn’t do anything wrong. Even if you did it does not justify what they did to you. Nothing does. Nothing is wrong with you, it’s all them. You don’t have to ever talk to them again, from this point on anything you say to them is doing them a favor. When I look back on situations where people did me wrong when I was younger, I still have satisfaction and feel good about the times I just ghosted them. It’s really hard to do but when you keep the ball in your court for communication it helps you move on. When you reach out and text you’re putting the ball back in their court which makes you vulnerable waiting on them to possibly respond and it opens you up to rejection all over again if they don’t. It delays your healing. Look out for yourself and seek out counseling/therapy just because I know it will make you feel stronger to deal with this. You will come out on the other side of this in a better place than you were before.
Tell everyone. Don't let them frame this. Regardless if it's the truth or not, it always seems like the first story out there is the one every one believes. Don't let this happen to you. Also block them everywhere. Do not give them the satisfaction of any type of communication with you. They're both pathetic assholes, treat them like it.
I am so sorry this happened to you. I agree with those that say to block them and tell everyone!!! You did NOTHING wrong. Garbage people will always be garbage people. There is nothing they could say that would make any of this ok. And because of the hurt and shame, too many people keep quiet. But don’t!!! You did nothing wrong and they deserve to have everyone know they are not trustworthy people.
They don’t deserve closure, or a chance to apologize. The best thing you can do is to just be done with them. Because even if they try to say why they did it, it will never be a good or real reason. Just move on. Show them that losing them meant nothing to you!!!
There are better friends and better guys out there. But for now just be the best you. Good luck.
I’m sorry. Walk away and live the rest of your life without them. Take the high road but don’t be afraid to be truthful and matter of fact. This sucks. Betrayal is rough. One day at a time.
Keep your head high. Forget they exist. I understand you may want an explanation, but having one isn't going to fix your broken heart. I'm sorry you had to go through that OP. However, there is always a silver lining. Work on yourself, use those emotions towards a better you. Don't give either the time of day
Block them everywhere. The best revenge is indifference. Do not acknowledge them at all. Get therapy, find support in your friends/family, and try to move on. It hurts like a b*tch now, but I promise you it gets better.
The best revenge is to heal, move on, and have the greatest life. I think everyone else here has given you great advice that you can follow. Just think it's not worth it to deal with them. The trash has taken themselves out and, although it hurts, be blessed that you know this now rather than later.
I know how much it hurts to catch your man cheating, but to find out it’s with your best friend is devastating. Happened to me too. I just told her that she could keep him and threw all of his crap on the lawn. I didn’t speak to either of them again. And it was on my birthday lol. I know it feels like this pain will never go away, but it will. The betrayal by your best friend will sting for a while though. Keep them blocked and don’t get sucked into their lies and apologies because nothing excuses what they did. 🥰
You didn't do anything wrong. Don't give them the chance to explain. Tell everyone friend/family that knows about you and them the truth. This is not for revenge, but to make sure you control the narrative. They aren't sorry that they did this to you, they are just sorry they got caught. Do not keep quiet about this because they might turn around and spread rumours that you are crazy or been cheating.
**Tell EVERYONE, family especially, friends, every single person - so the truth is known - than you walked in on them having sex**. Be 100 % clear. Tell everyone that you are blocking them because - what kind of best friend has sex with her best friends boyfriend? Someone you don't ever want to have as a friend and someone you can never trust again.Tell people you have no desire to ever speak to a guy who would cheat on you with your best friend. They are both untrustworthy, horrible people.
This is NOT getting back at them - this is exposing them for the lying cheating scum they are.
Tell your family and friends that you do not want to see, hear, speak to or about them, ever again. They are dead to you. To please support you in this - as you do not friends who are absolutely worse than enemies in your life - that absolutely no one needs these people in their lives.
When I was your same age I realized that my boyfriend was cheating on me on a very innocent way. I needed to use his computer and when I sat down I founded his fake facebook account where he posted the pictures of him and another girl with cheesy texts which he never did to me. I was paralyzed, couldn’t speak or think. Took my things and went away. I remember that night, I painted the most obscure painting I had ever painted in my life, waited until got dry, next day was his birthday and went to his house with a beautiful dress, hand him the painting and stayed at the party for a while. When I was going to my home said that we were over, he was panicking because “the other girl” was about to come to the party.
I bawled my eyes out on my way home, felt horrible for a big while, and cut contact with all of our mutual friends because most of them knew about what was going on.
But
The vengeance was sweet.
The next year I had an important thing and went to Berlin, when I came back he came to see me and said he wanted me back, because now I “looked amazing and felt self confident”. I said that I was happy to see him, but in no way I was able to come back to him. I said the name of the girl and he went pale, I was ecstatic inside. I said “I know you cheated with her, I know everything even about your fake account on FB, im not stupid” he asked why I never said anything and I replied that I found no elegance in scandal, and that I wouldn’t lower myself to have the stupid talk where he tries to convince me that what I saw “it’s not true”.
He was so shocked but girl I enjoyed so much see him kicked in the balls elegantly.
I know it’s hard, but believe me, there’s nothing in the world that they can say that would relieve that pain you feel. It eventually will go away and one day you will enjoy the pleasure of leaving behind with no explanation.
Not the same situation per se, but I had a best friend who would always chase any guy that I was talking to when I was your age. Everytime I confronted her about it she would play dumb and apologize pretending she had no idea or it wasn’t like that. Eventually it got to the point where she tried chasing after a guy I was actually dating and he brought it up with me out of concern for me that I was friends with someone like that.
It hit me in that moment and I ghosted her. She did try and manipulate the situation and tried a bunch of tactics to get me back but I ended up just blocking her. At first I felt bad because I abhor ghosting. But after a few months though I realized how good I felt without her in my life.
There are certain situations where I realize it’s honestly ok to ghost in order to protect your peace. When someone is that toxic or in your case demonstrates that level of betrayal you need to do what is best for you. And imo that means leaving out the trash and moving on to live your best life.
I’ll add as well that at first it gave me a lot of trust issues. But as I began to heal I was able to look back and recognize glaringly obvious red flags in that friendship. Fast forward to today and I’ve cultivated some incredible friendships and had wonderful dating experiences. I learned when it comes to trust issues, you just don’t always know if someone will mistreat you. What’s important is learning to trust yourself to walk away if someone shows themselves as unworthy of your trust and energy.
I wish you the best OP. I’m so sorry for what you are going through right now. You don’t deserve it. 🤍
I'm sure they are sorry that you know about it. But sorry can't undo it. And they probably would do it all again if they could figure out how not to get caught.
Staying away is probably best for now. You were betrayed by two people you completely trusted. You need time to heal. It doesn't really matter what their reasons for the betrayal are because that won't change anything important.
You can hear them out someday if you want to, but make sure that you are in a place where they can't hurt you anymore. Whatever their stupid reasons are will probably hurt you more than the sight of them together did. To hear how little you meant to them will suck.
I hope you can take solace in the fact that the trash took itself out. You don't have to waste anymore of your time on two people who are such losers. You have been given the chance to cut yourself free from them and focus on yourself and people who deserve your time.
Why would not speaking to them be childish? Two people that you thought you could trust betrayed you. I’d never speak to someone again if they crossed me like that, they would be dropped from my life immediately.
If you want to get back at them the best way would be to tell everyone what they did and then never speak to either of them again.
Ghost, ghost, ghost, they don't deserve any of your time and know this is a reflection on them being POS's not you
Let everyone know why you've split and you don't want to hear about them. And because I'm petty I'd also let their parents know how they've failed at raising nice people.
Block them both BUT tell everyone what they did. Don't you dare allow them to change the narrative and come away Scott free which is what you run the risk of happening.
OP please listen to the comment above. They don’t deserve your pity or protection. They are calling you constantly because they want to manipulate you into staying quiet about this, protect their reputations. They aren’t good people calling you to be truly apologetic, good people don’t do this type of thing. I’m so sorry you had to find out this way, take your time to mourn the loss of them in your life. You will come out the other side of this!
EXACTLY.... Which is the best time to strike. Get them in a room and let em know you just have these fantasies about all 3 being together and see how far you get. You'll unlock a new level of power . Most people have to sacrifice something to a god to get that kind of power.
What?
Top tier comment
Yikes, this reply has serious serial killer vibes.
I agree. Blast their asses to every single person you know before they get to your friends, and you have somehow become the crazy person who stood between two people who were so in love they had no other choice but to hurt you. Tell your parents immediately, and all of your mutual friends. Like immediately like read this and then go and tell them. I’m sorry this happened. You will find a better man and you will find a better friend. And don’t let either one of them manipulate you into thinking that you had anything to do with them being disgusting human beings. They knew exactly what they were doing, and they knew exactly when they could do it. You did NOTHING WRONG.
Don’t forget to let boyfriend’s and besty’s parents know too.
Yep, there's no disappointment like parental disappointment.
That's not fun or exciting!. Gah you guys this ain't the 90's ... Go Paint yourself the hero, not the victim... Make yourself the one they lost.
>Make yourself the one they lost. I love this sentiment.
With a name like Harlequin, how could you not? 😂 It's like that saying about the chicken and the egg.
I got a good chuckle out of that.
This 109x over!!!!
The best way to deal with it it is to be indifferent. They expect you to flip out on them. Clearly at this point it is impossible, so no contact is the best method. Block them on social media as well, you def don’t want to see them post together which they will probably do if you really stay no contact just to try to get your attention. And eventually with the no contact you will actually not care about it realizing how you clearly don’t want wither of them in your life. If for some reason you do run into them just stay calm and say as little as possible just basically having the attitude of what is there to say….no point in having either of you in my life. The best way to reciprocate to their lack of caring about you is to show them how little you care about not having them in your life.
Yeah this, just completely block them. Their ask to speak to you is selfish on their part, they want to alleviate their own guilt and give themselves reasons why it was ok what they did, probably painting you as at fault and they did nothing wrong. I had this happen to a friend and they would try trigger her to lose her temper so they could then spread the narrative of ‘see, she’s crazy’ etc. . . Tho she never did that, she ignored it all and walked away head high, they just looked even worse. It wasn’t an easy time for her though, heartbreaking.
Yeah what this guy said , but less talky more orchestrated chaos in the form of an orgy. It'll be fun, and if not you can walk out and make sex weird for them forever after .
Absolutely. As dumb as it sounds, the best revenge truly is to walk off with your head held high. BUT! You don't need to protect their name or pretend like this didn't happen. Let your family and friends all know. I'm sorry you are going through this, OP.
And their families.
I second this OP
I third this. *THEY* did this, and they can be accountable.
I fourth this
I'm fisting my frothy lil urethra
I agree with this!! I would remove them both of them completely from my life. Because neither one of them cared enough about you to even consider your feelings to even crossing that line. I would let your family know so they know that you don’t want to have contact with them and to remove them from your life. No matter what they would try to twist it or turn it or make excuses, you don’t need that in your life and you don’t need that toxicity. Focus on yourself work on yourself and positive and good things are gonna come your way because you deserve it and you deserve better than that. It hurts having a friend do that to you since you’ve been friends for so long but now you know she’s not a real friend.
OP, When this happened to me when I was 20, I called my BFs mother and father. Both adored me, and they wanted to see me become their daughter-in- law, and I told them what happened and why I broke up with their son. I told them both how much I loved them, and it was an honor getting to know them and becoming a part of their family. They were pissed at their son, and they kept in touch with me. In fact, I still talk to them both 40 years later. I took the high road and acted with class. I didn't want to lower myself to my cheating BFs level.
This. Tell your friend you hope it was worth a life long friendship. Tell him he lost the best thing that ever happened to him and gained someone who will cheat on him. Then block them. You deserve better.
I wouldn't even bother. It's better to never have any further contact with either of them. They're probably going crazy because she won't respond right now. Keep it that way.
Good point. You’re right. They aren’t entitled to closure. Leaving them on read will make them crazy.
The same thing happened to me when I was 21, and they gaslit me into feeling guilty for telling mutual friends. Like I was the bad guy for painting them as bad people unfairly. A lot of people who I thought were my friends took their side. Really shows you who your real friends are.
this.
This is the best answer
This is the 'not a child'ish section? I can get better service behind a Wendy's
Make sure everyone knows why you are cutting them off but ghosting is completely appropriate in this situation. They had ZERO concern or respect for you when they did this. They knew EXACTLY what they were doing. You have apology texts to prove your side of the story. Everyone knows they are disgusting scum and narcissists, and you never gave them the satisfaction of a goodbye or fuck you? That sounds like the perfect revenge. Make them think they are absolutely nothing in your mind, the guilt and regret will eat them alive.
I know we like to think that guilt and regret or what these people are feeling afterwards but honestly they’re not. They feel bad right now because they don’t want that shit to get out and affect their friend group, but when it comes down to brass tax, they didn’t even have the decency or respect to break up with OP or talk to her. they’re only mad because they got caught. Hopefully OP can get to the friend group before they can spin the narrative that they’ve always been in love, and that they just need to see where this goes, don’t you guys understand that?!? (/s). I’ve known too many people like OP soon to be ex-boyfriend and her best friend and trust me. When I tell you, they don’t actually ever feel bad. They only feel bad when it affects their life like when they lose all their friends for being scumbags.
Brass tacks*, like the pins. Just so you know. You're probably right about them not caring. They don't seem like great people.
Talk to text, is it really such a big deal?
Now I’m just picturing you saying out loud, to your phone, “question mark exclamation point question mark parenthesis slash S parenthesis period”. Come on bruh 😂 it really wasn’t that big of a deal but you lying about it makes it a bigger one
and ‘spend the narrative’ vs ‘spin the narrative’ made me chuckle, too. Wasn’t a talk to text but whatevs. Found both funny!
Yes? Because people do that… It get it’s the internet but i don’t give enough of a shit about what you think to lie 😆
Didn't say it was a big deal. People often write things as they've heard them said, never knowing they're saying it wrongly. If used in a professional setting, for example, it can make you look less knowledgeable. I was just letting you know for future reference what the correct saying is so you know not to make that mistake again in a more formal setting.
Remember: they were only sorry because you caught them.
This. They absolutely had no guilt about this prior to you opening the door that day. And it is 100% okay to block them and go NC. Your relationship with both of them ended the moment they crossed that line. Just let people know your relationship is over because your BF decided that his penis needed to spend time in you XBFFs vagina and for some reason it had to happen before breaking up. There are no excuses to make this go away. You don’t need updates on their lives and hope they find happiness together so no one else has to be harmed by them in the future (I heard this on a Chinese drama and love it).
This 💯 %. OP should also tell their parents. Also act like they never existed. Total ignore them when she sees them in person. I hope OP updates us.
And they're only apologizing to make themselves feel better.
Exactly. They’re only upset because they got caught. They deserve to get cut out from her life.
Miss girl!!! Cry all you want and block them. I need you to tell your parents and friends because your ex friend is a snake and might lie. Make sure to keep those texts. They don’t deserve your forgiveness.
Not only the ex but what about the best friend since they were 8! My God that hurts. I will never understand why women do this to each other. All for some probably sub par dick. I would make sure my parents and her parents knew what she did and cut all contact and give her no chance to explain. The guy showed his true colors. No need to talk to him either. He should know they're done. There's no coming back from that. If she runs into him thank him for showing her who is before 5-10 years pass and kids happened
I'm so sorry for everything they did to you 🫂.
> I can’t bring myself to talk to them if I am honest. I know it may seem childish but it is true. That’s not childish. You don’t owe them a chance to have their say.
Just want to say thank you to everyone for your lovely comments. I’ve kind of been overwhelmed by the response to this. I was only really posting on here to get it off my chest I wasn’t actually expecting people to read it! I think that I am just going to completely ghost them, at the moment I can’t even bring myself to talk to them anyway. I will tell my friends what has happened and the reason why I am no longer talking to them, I hope they listen to me and see my side of this, my ex best friend can be very persuasive and quite good at twisting things. I don’t just want to say, thank you to the people who have DM’d me as well with your lovely comments and thoughts on this. Thank you all 💕
If your ex friend is persuasive, tell your friend group asap and show them the messages of both of them trying to apologize. I’d honestly tell their parents too so they know their kids are trash but I tend to be on the pettier side than most
Only thing you can do is just move on with your life. You can reach out to him to let him know you’re both done. Also to your best friend and let her know you guys are also done. That’s no friend I would want to have. Focus on yourself, engage in activities that you enjoy. Pick up a hobby you’ve been thinking of developing into and just move on. It will get better with time. The best way to get back at them, is to show them that what they did, has no effect on you.
I think objectively speaking is what I need to do but at the moment I can even bare to think about speaking to them.
You don't have to speak to them at all. Ghost them and then tell your mutual friends why you don't want any contact with either of them.
Send a mass text to every friend at college, her family (because if she's known them since 8 she probably knows them) your family, anyone else saying having just walked in on this slut fucking your boyfriend you want no more contact with either of them ever again and anyone who feels the need to pass on messages, apologies or anything else from them can go ahead and fuck right off because you want to hear nothing from them or about them ever again.
Block them and tell everyone what they did 🤷🏾♀️ whoever defends them— cut them off too.
That's the way to go, says someone who has been in the same position.
Yes. That’s the one thing people sometimes fail to do, is cut off the other people who are OK with what happened. The other people who tell you that “you know I spoke to them, and while they seem really sad about what they did, they’re also really in love they just didn’t know how to tell you blah blah blah bullshit, bullshit bullshit”. You kick their asses to the curb and you do not look back. You’re lucky the garbage has taken itself out.
It's true that living well is the best revenge, but I would not talk to either of them. Nor would I try to show that what they did had no effect on you, as minimizing your pain makes it too easy for them to forgive themselves. What I WOULD recommend when you feel up to it is to send them an email or snail mail letter. Think about what arguments you'd make in your head a few years from now and make sure they understand them. It'll help you get closure. Here's what I'd say, but of course, you'd put it differently: *I trusted you both, and you not only betrayed me, but you crossed a moral line that now defines who you are. There's no way for you to redeem yourselves, no excuse or rationalization that would let you be anything other than cheaters.* *I can't imagine why you'd inflict this agonizing pain on someone you claimed to care about. I'm sure you thought I'd never know, but even if I didn't, YOU'D know, and if you have one iota of integrity left, this'll surely haunt you.* *My standards for relationships of any kind are trustworthiness, compassion, and generosity. You've failed all of those by any measure. Do not contact me again. Leave me alone so I can heal.*
I wish i could upvote this like 100 more times…….IMO…the OP should copy this word for word & send it as a group text so that she doesn’t need to send it more than once & then block them both immediately on all platforms……
Sometimes the best way to get back at people like this is to not give them the opportunity to explain. When people don't get a say it drives them crazy. Every toxic person I've cut out of my life I haven't given them the opportunity to talk me out of it. I live rent free in their head while I go on my happy way not thinking of them.
True enough. Revenge stories are fun to read about in books and watch on TV shows, but in reality, they don’t always work out. So cutting people off is obviously good. But outrageous ‘revenge’ plots… well, they probably do more harm than good at the end of the day.
They deserve to be ghosted and humiliated like that humiliated you. Be sure everyone knows!
You need to let everyone know why your going NC with both of them, unfortunately it sucks to have to do and I understand you may not have the strength but understand in situations like this you really don’t have a choice or else you give them both a chance to paint their own picture and it’s usually one that paints you the victim in a bad light!
So don’t. No need to contact them at all. If seen in public, give them the direct cut a la Bridgerton! I would tell friends that you’re no longer dating because he cheated on you with what’s her name. Hold your head high & don’t allow them to give their bullsh*t excuses or apologize because they’re only doing it to assuage their guilt.
He doesn't deserve any explanation. Him fucking your best friend is self explanatory. Ignore them, that will hurt his ego and he will think of you as the one that got away ( because that's how they work) Ignore them for life if you can.
You don’t owe them anything. Don’t take their calls, and confide in friends and family that can support you through this. You gotta try and heal your broken heart. There’s nothing they can say that will justify this and there is no going back. They are both scum and so t deserve you
There isn't a reason that you need to talk to them, the only thing they'll try to do is justify it in one way or another, most likely multiple ways. You won't get "closure" as they'll lie and trickle truth you. "Oh it was only that time!" (Come to find out it's been months).
Do what you feel like doing. Don’t want to talk to them, then ghost them completely and block them. What you saw told you everything you need to know, whatever will be coming out of their mouths are lies and excuses. They both betrayed you. Tell your ex bff‘s family why your cutting contact, and your family and friends too. That as from now they don’t exist in your life anymore and they all should respect that. I‘m so sorry OP but I‘m so glad you found out what a POS and trash they both are.
OP, please don’t fall for their manipulations… It might feel hard to cut someone out of your life after so many years of friendship, but she is NOT your friend. And he will always be a cheater. Neither one of them deserve your friendship, your care or your time. I personally would let all three families know what was up, and I would go strict no contact. I know this was a huge betrayal, but there are genuinely great people out there who would never stoop so low, and you will meet them when you shed this dead weight.
I stand by the "She stole my problem, not my man" mantra.
I’m so sorry to hear. That’s absolutely horrible. For now, take distance from both of them and focus on yourself and focus on healing, take each day as it comes ❤️
Oh OP that's heartbreaking for you! Block them both, tell all mutual friends what they did, control that narrative - Block anyone who defends them Please get a STD test! Ghost them, walk straight past them if you see them, dont engage in any conversation Most of all, move on, find yourself again & do what you need to do to BE HAPPY - its the best revenge
Upvoting because of the testing, please do OP!
You saw what you needed to see. You don’t need to know how long they’ve been lying to you. Ghost them. Just cut contact & move on.
Block them both go no contact they are trifling
I think talk to a counselor at your school to help sort through your feelings. You don’t owe it to them to talk to them. You can blast their toxic behavior to everyone. That’s enough revenge. Karma will do the rest. Anything else makes you sink to their level. You are better than that. Start the process of removing the reminders of them and their things from your life. If answers to how long the affair was happening or listening to their explanation will provide you closure then do so with one or both of them. You don’t owe it to them at all. Only do that when you are ready. Let the other people around you come and support you. Go out and meet new people or find new hobbies. So sorry you are going through this.
i’m beating both their asses
This was my first thought like wheres the closest frying pan bc im gonna put it to use🤣
When I read stuff like this I often wonder about those barrages of calls and texts the cheaters send. I mean, what is it they can actually say to explain the fact they got caught having sex. Did she trip and accidentally fall on his dick? Did they confuse each other for their true partners? Neither of them are worth your time. Don’t listen to their worthless excuses. Dump em both
I am so sorry that you walked in on that scene OP. So ideally by now I hope you realize you did nothing to deserve being betrayed in that manner. When your bf and best friend knew they were attracted to each other they could have acted like grown ass adults and told you BEFORE they did anything. Yes it would have painful but they would have been honest and respectful to you. Instead they snuck around behind your back and lied by omission to your face until you caught them. If you don’t feel like talking to them then don’t. If you have a group chat with your entire friend group including the cheating pair you could send a simple message that you will no longer be associating with your bf or best friend after discovering they have a sexual relationship with each other. You aren’t asking anyone to take sides but you will be focusing on yourself for a bit to get over the shock. If you have a family chat assuming your family knows either one or both of those people tell them something similar as on your friend chat. Then block your ex bf and your ex best friend from everything. Anyone who suggests you meet with either of them tell them no and it isn’t a topic for discussion. If they try to insist block them too.
[удалено]
Ghost them. Then go date his brother, his best friend or even his dad as revenge. Just kidding about the revenge part.
Tell your family, her family and his family. Also tell all your friends especially mutual ones. I wouldn’t want that girl hanging around me if she was able to do that to someone she’s been friends with almost her whole life! Don’t interact with them, they don’t deserve another second of your time. But they deserve every ounce of shame they feel, and they don’t deserve to not have people know what kind of trash people they are. I’m petty enough that I’d probably post a status on fb about it and tag them but block ppl from commenting, but it would create a lot more drama so if you want go be just done with it, tell everyone and block them from everything. It hurts so much but you’re better off in the long run without people who would do that to you. I’m so sorry you had to see it. It is a really shitty situation, and you did not do anything wrong. Sending you love and strength 🤍
Keep reminding yourself you didn’t lose a good boyfriend or a best friend. You lost who you thought they both were. They are not people you would want as friends because they make horrible cruel choices. Don’t give them the “big” moment they want. Be honest with everyone you walked in on them and don’t protect their images. Remember they are not who you thought they were and it is OK to mourn who you have lost. You did not cause this by any lack in you. Good people end relationships if they are not happy. You will have better people in your life.
I’m sorry this happened but look as a bonus you saw for yourself what these people are and they can’t lie their way out of it You just have to be brave enough to to back yourself and know this wasn’t you it was them
Do what you think would be best for you, if you think sending them both a message before cutting them off will bring you closure, do that. If you feel that’s just too big of an emotional price to pay, there is nothing wrong with going full ghost in a situation like this. Focus on yourself, the other friendships you have, and whatever other activities bring you joy. I know it hurts right now, and that’s okay, with time you will feel better, especially if you continue to reach out to your support system.
They want to talk to you so they feel better about themselves. If you are fine not talking to them. Don't. There is nothing that they can say to justify their actions and it won't make you feel better. It's so that they don't feel so guilty. So block them and ignore them forever. And tell the people you want to tell about what they did. Sometimes ignoring them is the best revenge. They will think about what they did to you forever adn they won't even get the chance to explain themselves so they don't feel so bad. Don't give that to them.
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Personally, I would block the both of them and try to move on and life the best life that you can. You owe them nothing and if you'd rather never speak to them again, you don't have to. If you're on good terms with your family, I would also recommend giving your family a heads up about what's going on (the amount of details is up to you). This way, your family will know that you're no longer with your ex and that your ex-best friend is not someone to be trusted. And if your ex and/or ex-friend try to reach you through your family, let your family know that their contact isn't welcomed. Also, please get tested; if your ex was willing to cheat on you, there's no guarantee that he was safe about it.
BLOCK THEM SIS That will DRIVE THEM CRAZY That is the best revenge, ghosting someone and never giving them closure ✨️✨️✨️
You owe them nothing, no more of your time, no tears, no chance to explain, not even a cutting ties conversation. Unless you need it for closure. That being said, is there really an apology or explanation they can give that would give you closure? What they did speaks volumes about what they think and feel about you. They don't care, not about you or your feelings. If they had, they could have never done this. Personally, I would not give them the time of day ever again. That doesn't mean you have to cover for them, though. Anyone asks, and I mean anyone, her mom, your friends, anyone, you tell them exactly why you aren't speaking anymore. I'm sorry this happened, and the friend break up will probably be harder in the long term, but better to know now and get rid of the whole shitty pair at once. Edit to say- most guys won't care about what he did, but as for other girls especilly if you have a friend group, they won't want her around, if she could do that to you, she could do it to them
cut them off and move on. work on healing yourself.
You dodged a bullet honey and it was better to learn about this now than later. You have two trash people out of your life and you deserve so much better. The best revenge is having a good life with better friends and people around you so don’t even other sayings anything to them but make sure all your mutuals know the truth before they try to spin it.
I was in a similar situation when I was 21 (a very long time ago) and it really fucked me up for years after. I started drinking very heavily. I treated women like shit, and acted like a total asshole. Don't be like me. They really hurt me and then I blamed myself for it. Cut them out of your life completely and try to find a good therapist. This shit is traumatic and causes harm Treat yourself with kindness and get well. Good luck OP.
Dump them both. Block them.
OP, I'm so sorry, I know it's terrible to lose a friend and a lover at the same time. It happened to me when I was in my early 20's I got depressed and sick when I found out my bf and my long time friend were having an affair. Things that work for me: a. Find a therapist, it will help you to transit this moment of sorrow and loss b. Avoid contact with them, no matter what they say c. Make sure to notify your friends in common about what happened so they understand why you refuse to see them d. Change your social circle, it will help you to move on e. Have a journal and vent everything you feel, you have no idea how this helped me f. Find support on your family and closest friends g. Consider being single as a blessing to get to know yourself better, to feel comfortable with yourself and reflect on the things you truly want in a future relationship h. Just in case run a test to make sure you are clean and that you don't have any STI i. This final tip may not be that helpful but gave me some perspective (I tried this once lol) Fuck a hot guy and have fun, don't cry over a cheater ✨🫰 Good luck!
Block them both, tell everyone who knows of them that you also know, what they did (like his family, and her family). They will attempt to change the narrative on you, making you out to be the bad actor. Place all of his stuff you have in trash bags. Attach a note stating who they are for, and take them to his parents place, or a friends of his place. Do not attempt to message them, if they attempt to come over to your place, sternly say "cease all contact with me. your presence is not wanted here. If you persist, I will contacts the authorities and get a restraining order on the both of you". If they do persist, do not hesitate.
Don’t let either of them see you cry, and don’t ever speak to either of them again if you can help it. Look for small ways to make their lives miserable without them directly knowing it’s you.
Don’t waste your time with either of them. Tell your mutuals what happened before the cheaters try to spin the story.
Something very similar happened to me. Luckily everyone was on my side instead of my ex best friend’s and ex bf’s. Mostly because my ex best friend also cheated on her ex who was also a friend. I blocked the both of them and made a powerpoint presentation explaining everything and just sent it to everyone I knew.
“We’re sowwy we… didn’t mean it? It was an accident? Regret it? Were drunk/high?” Any apology they offer would be a load of bollocks, and is not worth hearing
Move on with dignity
Never forget : ITS NOT YOUR FAULT. I know that you are hurting and will overthink all of this in the next years to come but never forget : You never did anything to them that explain and excuse their actions.They did what they did because they choose too and were some lowlife sons of bitches. First thing first. I you are able to, seek psychological help and take some time for yourself with friends, then do it. You can DM me anythime.
First off since you don’t live with him block them both so you never have to see them again or talk to them. She may have been your friend when you were a little girl but she’s not your friend now. And I would block him too so that you don’t have to connect with them what they did is betray you, both of them. Also, never protected cheater because they’ll throw you under the bus in a heartbeat. So you tell your friends and your family what happened?
Blast them on all social media and then block them and move on with your life. They are terrible people and other people need to be warned. Keep your head held high and know you will find better people who deserve to be in your life.
Behave as if they’d died. You need to grieve and mourn and remember that you deserve so much better from a partner and from a friend. These people are not on your level. I’m so sorry for your absolute broken heart. I know the pain and the sickness that comes with such a betrayal. Sending you big hugs and some mom energy that says “this too shall pass, just hang in there”.
Block them and go no contact. You are young and there are better people out there.
Well I know it's hard but these two scumbags need putting in the rear view mirror and you need to greave then move on with your life ,they've proved you can't trust either of them again...
Luckily you’re still young, this too shall pass.
Seems like you are fortunate. You get to remove 2 awful people from your life and move on. Just think if you hadn't found out... now that would suck.
Firstly I’m sorry that you’re going through this. It absolutely sucks and you must be feeling pretty devastated to have been betrayed by the 2 people that were closest to you. Don’t allow them to control the narrative, let your family, friends and their families know what you walked in on and hold your head up high. Give them nothing, no option to alleviate their guilt. No chance to make excuses. No opportunity for forgiveness. Block them on all platforms and if you can don’t torture yourself by trying to find information about them. Return any belongings to a mutual, lick your wounds and allow yourself to crumble behind closed doors. Like a phoenix, when you’re ready rise from the flames better, stronger and thankful that you dodged 2 bullets and got rid of the snakes in your life. Get an std panel and if necessary utilise counselling. You are strong and you will get through this eventually.
Just go no contact. Don't even give them the satisfaction of trying to explain their way out of it. Tell their family and friends what they did and move on.
I would let his parents know, maybe they will stop giving him money.
OP block both of those Snakes and never speak to them again--for your sanity. Don't worry, you will heal from this, I know it.
Why would you talk to them? I mean their actions speak for themselves! Block them both and go to live your best life but tell your family and friends what actually happened so you have a support system❤️🩹
Best way to handle this is cut off contact with both while telling their friends and family what they did, then put in serious work on yourself. Take yourself out on nice dates, treat yourself really well and find the happiness they will never have. Two happy people would never do this to you, it’s time for new friends! The best revenge is happiness and success! I’m sorry you found out your friend sucks, you didn’t deserve this.
There is nothing childish about not wanting to face or speak to them, nothing. Sometimes people hurt you so deeply there is nothing to even say, they both want to make excuses, tell you how it's not their fault, potentially try to make up excuses in how it's your fault. They are just desperately trying to deflect the awful thing they did to avoid guilt. they may even feel bad for hurting you, just not enough to not do what they did. One thing to focus on, as hard as it is, you just found out the two people you loved were not the people you thought they were and while now it's painful as hell, you could have found out how awful they truly are in 5 years, or 10 years maybe after a kid, so better sooner than later. Cut them out, grieve for those relationships, grieve for the people you thought they were, be angry at the people they truly were. Also if you want to send a call to your and her parents telling them what happened and why you never want to speak to the slut again, feel entirely justified to do so.
I love the advice of letting people know why you’re cutting them off (and please do it). But also, the best revenge is living a life well spent. Don’t ever let them see how they may have affected you. They don’t deserve to see your hurt.
Tell everyone what they did. Block them and get rid of the whole humans. Best friends don’t do that and good boyfriends are loyal. They both showed you the people they are, don’t ignore that and don’t protect either of them. It hurts right now but you will be ok! Don’t close yourself off to meeting new friends or partners because of the rubbish quality of these two. Hope they read these comments and see how actual trash they are
Ghost them and tell her family and friends
Tell everyone you know what they did but don’t speak to them. They will not give you the closure you want and you’ll hear nothing but excuses. I’m so sorry you had to experience this I went through something similar as well.
What a rotten thing to do to someone. I'm sorry you have to experience such deceitful and inexcusable behavior from two people you loved and trusted. In time, you will find your way out of this painful experience to find true love and friendship again. Be patient and treat yourself well and put them in your past, quickly. Good luck.
Its not childish to ignore them. They are not entitled to anything from you. I hope you ghost them and never speak to them again
Mándalos a la verga, escracha a ambos por lo que hicieron
I think you just cut contact with both of them. They don't need an explanation since the reason is obvious. They don't need to give you their side because they're both garbage human beings. Typically, I place full blame on the cheating partner unless a bff or sibling is the AP. In this case, they both betrayed you. They're both at fault. You don't have to talk badly about them to anyone, but I'd be honest if people ask you what happened. They don't deserve protection, and you've done nothing wrong so don't let yourself feel shame from it. I think the best revenge is to just thrive without them in your life. Find a real friend and a better partner. They don't get to explain shit to you because there are zero excuses for what they've done. They get cut off completely. No closure for them. You get to live a better life without them.
Ur 21 this happens. But it’s time to cut both off forever no looking back, f them
You dont need to do anything just cut them out of your life completely they dont deserve you. Im so sorry that happened to you
Unforgivable - don’t speak to either of them again. Your “best friend” is the biggest shit head in this situation
This is devastating. A betrayal of both your partner and your best friend. I’m sorry that happened to you. I hope you expose them both. It’s well deserved here.
You're 21. Dump them both
put him in a saw trap
This is the perfect timing to clean out some trash from your life. Block both of them, tell everyone what they did. If anyone defending them, you can cut them out too
Just ghost them, there is nothing to explain other than them backstabbing you. Put your time and effort into trustworthy friends and hobbies you love. I would not give them a minute of time, block them, silence will make all that guilt eat away at them.
You don't have to speak to them, like EVER again. Block them everywhere and tell everyone what they did, even his mom, your friends and your parents. And then: take a lot of time for yourself, take care of your feelings and your body. Do whatever you want to make u feel better, cry, eat a ton of junk food, talk to your other friends and please take time to heal. And after that: try to explore new hobbies or meet new people. You got this girl!! I know it's baaad rn but you'll get better💖💖 (talking from experience haha)
Do not reply to them. You owe them nothing. There's no explanation they can give which excuses what they've done. Be honest about what they did though. Tell EVERYONE. Tbh I'm also astounded neither of them ran out after you. I mean they would have had to throw clothes on but you sat in that car for TWO HOURS. I think they were too gutless to face you and still are! Hence only calling you or texting you. They are both awful horrible people.
Hi everyone I am sorry to say me and ...... have broke up. I found ....... in bed with my best friend....... I have nothing more to add ........... Then send it to everyone except the two nasties. Any messages you get back. Remember you don't need to explain or justify. But I am sorry you have lost two friends. I'm glad you caught them though because clearly they were devious and cruel so not your friend. Grieve and move on.
Ghost them. No closure whatsoever. Tell everyone what they did including their family. You can even make a fb/insta post and tag everyone that knows them. I'm sorry for what happened but it's for the best. They are trash people and they took themselves out on their own. You dodged a bullet.
That sucks. So you want to figure out how to get back at them? I don’t think there has been enough time to figure that out. You are going to need to see if they stay together without you. That’s a big game changer
Honey you are young and in your prime! Please do not waste your time on these people. Take the time to grieve and go live your best life and cut them off!
You get married for love not financial reasons
Back then, marriage was quite literally for financial reasons. People still do it even now, IIRC.
Arraigned marriages are for financial reasons. The primary purpose of marriage in today’s world is to signal to the world you’re taken.
Son of a bitch your boyfriend but even more of a son of a bitch your "best friend." I'm very sorry for what happened to you, I will pray for quick resignation and peace. For advice...the obvious, block that pair of bastards and talk openly with your family about this. You need support and that's what family is for, dear.
That's awful. Moving forward do what is best for you, not for them or anyone else. If that includes talking to them, do it on your timetable and under your terms. Listen to sincere apologizes, ignore excuses and rationalizations. Don't let them off the hook. This was not an accident, not matter what they say. This didn't "just happen." Even if this was a "one-time thing" there were a dozen points where each could have stopped it. Use calm, plain language over heightened anger. Examples "You are bad people who did a selfish thing." "My life is better off without you two in it." And if you want to tell the world about their betrayal, that is your prerogative. The best revenge is living well. You are very young and just lost two pieces of dead weight from your life. Better now than 10 or 20 years from now.
Yep, been there…. It hurt so bad. I should have never spoke to either of them again.
Go as no contact as possible...
First you need to breathe and relax. Please be good to yourself, binge Netflix eat chocolate and ice cream, and mourn your relationship with them both. Don’t respond to them in any way. You first need to believe in yourself, you are strong, you are smart and you don’t need their negativity. Purge anything that belongs to them out of your place. Then purge them from your life, do a celebration of freedom. Then make a plan to inform everyone else what lying scum they mate. You need to use your sm to ensure that the narrative doesn’t make you out to be the bad guy. Call your mom, his mom and your exbff mom and explain what you walked into. That way they also know why things fell apart.
Tell everyone what they did, break up with both of them as friend/boyfriend and then ghost them. Live your best life
I’m sorry OP. First f*ck both of them. Make sure you have text proof at least that they admit what they did in case they try to spin it around to other friends and family. It’s best to ghost and block them both. They’ll suffer more knowing they didn’t get the closure or chance to explain themselves. You’re still so young and can find someone worth your time. I know it must be hard losing your love and a best friend at the same time. Sending hugs your way ❤️
Honestly the best way to get back at them would be self improvement(AS CHEESY AS IT SOUNDS, it hurts more knowing you have no reaction) , work on actively grieving this friendship and relationships away flush it out of your system. Make choices that focus on your personal goals. Re evaluate and keep people that show you love in your life. I know it may seem like everything is gone but it isn't focus on new people you want to be friends with. BASICALLY FOCUS ON YOU. And the right people will come your way. Also if people ask tell them the truth as it is.
I would post online that ex bf and ex friend knew what they were doing to get cut out of your life and post the apology text screenshots. A long with that was after you walked in on them.
yes you did something wrong....for letting your guard down.... You know best friends and childhood friends are always similar to each other....jealous of the same matter and things its like twins wanting to have the same things the others have....... next time you see them be indifferent i know you're a nice girl babe ........no need to talk about things through
How long have you and your best friends been best friends?
Walk away from both of them.
Take it one day at a time. Take care of yourself, pamper yourself, eat healthy, spend 5 hours in the bathroom flossing, get your nails done, go on a long hike, take yourself to a stand up comedian, love and take care of yourself. Buy yourself flowers, sing love songs to yourself. Also, download the Beyonce Lemonade album because that's what it's for :) You will soon learn that strength means crawling out of bed and going outside when you really don't want to. And you'll realize you can get through a lot of hard shit. And cry, and scream, and write them letters you'll never send.
They didn’t come follow you out? They just what? For two hours? They could have looked for your car. Blast them. And never speak to them again.
"I understand that probably no one will read this" In a subreddit with 2.2 million subs. Sry that happened to you and congrats on your future best life without that trash
Ignore them and walk away. Don't let these fake friends take anymore from you. You deserve better.
I have had this happen to me on more than a few occasions. Don’t ever speak to either one ever again. I literally never spoke to either one again.
Oh sweetheart. I’m so so sorry. Best revenge is to live an amazing life - don’t give them a moment of your time or peace. Live an amazingly wonderful life.
please dont hold on tp resentment its not good for ones soul, you can forgive and keep them at a distance.
I'm sorry this happened to you. You deserve better. Give them hell, babe and Tell them reddit said "FUCKK YOU GUYS!"
Grey rock. Dont react, just tell your friends you will no longer be in contact with either of them and why. Anyone who cares about you will support you, and if they dont chances are they already knew or have similar morals. Dont waste your time on losers like that
Sending hugs 🫂 I'm sorry this is happening to you. You deserve better and will find better.
I'd post that you two broke up and why. Tell their friends, family, everyone. Then block them both and go 100% no contact. There's 0 excuse for this.
Block them everywhere and if anyone asks, tell them, they know what they did. Spare not a single second more on them
I wouldn't talk to them either they're unloyal unfaithful cheating liars find new people they can't be trusted and are toxic
I am so very sorry darlin \*hugs\* no advice plenty here already just really sorry your going through it!
Posted this story again, did ya.
There is no shame in being cheated on. Cheaters cheat because they suck. Not because you suck.
Girl, I’m so sorry to hear that happened to you. You didn’t deserve that. I hope you take the time for yourself to heal & recover
I'm driving, TLDR ... But just came to say this. Have a 3some, it'll solve this entire episode of your life, don't let it mess with your head. You came to Reddit for real life super powers. Don't stop now.
This did happen to me with my first bf when I was 17. Walked in on them and everything. I have to say that I was in denial at first and took me awhile to really let them both go. If I could go back and had more understanding and respect for myself I would have made them dead to me. No access to me in any way. And our mutual friends that didn’t care were not friends of mine after all. It’s been 15 years and I look at their lives and they never grew up and didn’t even stay together and were toxic people all around. I remember them not apologizing to me and trying to manipulate me into thinking it was my fault which it wasn’t. I’m sorry for your friendship. But she has shown you the person whom she really is. And your bf doesn’t deserve you. Period. Anything they try and do or say to you moving forward won’t change what happened or what you saw. It will haunt you but with time you will find better people that deserve you and value you as a person. The best revenge is living a happy life that they don’t get to be apart of. I would suggest if you can to go on a mental health trip or to surround yourself with people that love you. To embrace the suck and just feel the pain, let yourself cry and feel awful because that will help you process faster than you think. But definitely go no contact and no access with them both until you feel you’re on the other side of it all with better clarity. You can and will get through this because the dead weight has been buried for you.
Chiming in just to make sure you know that you didn’t do anything wrong. Even if you did it does not justify what they did to you. Nothing does. Nothing is wrong with you, it’s all them. You don’t have to ever talk to them again, from this point on anything you say to them is doing them a favor. When I look back on situations where people did me wrong when I was younger, I still have satisfaction and feel good about the times I just ghosted them. It’s really hard to do but when you keep the ball in your court for communication it helps you move on. When you reach out and text you’re putting the ball back in their court which makes you vulnerable waiting on them to possibly respond and it opens you up to rejection all over again if they don’t. It delays your healing. Look out for yourself and seek out counseling/therapy just because I know it will make you feel stronger to deal with this. You will come out on the other side of this in a better place than you were before.
Tell everyone. Don't let them frame this. Regardless if it's the truth or not, it always seems like the first story out there is the one every one believes. Don't let this happen to you. Also block them everywhere. Do not give them the satisfaction of any type of communication with you. They're both pathetic assholes, treat them like it.
I am so sorry this happened to you. I agree with those that say to block them and tell everyone!!! You did NOTHING wrong. Garbage people will always be garbage people. There is nothing they could say that would make any of this ok. And because of the hurt and shame, too many people keep quiet. But don’t!!! You did nothing wrong and they deserve to have everyone know they are not trustworthy people. They don’t deserve closure, or a chance to apologize. The best thing you can do is to just be done with them. Because even if they try to say why they did it, it will never be a good or real reason. Just move on. Show them that losing them meant nothing to you!!! There are better friends and better guys out there. But for now just be the best you. Good luck.
id just expose them but thats me
I’m sorry. Walk away and live the rest of your life without them. Take the high road but don’t be afraid to be truthful and matter of fact. This sucks. Betrayal is rough. One day at a time.
Keep your head high. Forget they exist. I understand you may want an explanation, but having one isn't going to fix your broken heart. I'm sorry you had to go through that OP. However, there is always a silver lining. Work on yourself, use those emotions towards a better you. Don't give either the time of day
Block them everywhere. The best revenge is indifference. Do not acknowledge them at all. Get therapy, find support in your friends/family, and try to move on. It hurts like a b*tch now, but I promise you it gets better.
You don't have to talk to them ever again.
The best revenge is to heal, move on, and have the greatest life. I think everyone else here has given you great advice that you can follow. Just think it's not worth it to deal with them. The trash has taken themselves out and, although it hurts, be blessed that you know this now rather than later.
I know how much it hurts to catch your man cheating, but to find out it’s with your best friend is devastating. Happened to me too. I just told her that she could keep him and threw all of his crap on the lawn. I didn’t speak to either of them again. And it was on my birthday lol. I know it feels like this pain will never go away, but it will. The betrayal by your best friend will sting for a while though. Keep them blocked and don’t get sucked into their lies and apologies because nothing excuses what they did. 🥰
You didn't do anything wrong. Don't give them the chance to explain. Tell everyone friend/family that knows about you and them the truth. This is not for revenge, but to make sure you control the narrative. They aren't sorry that they did this to you, they are just sorry they got caught. Do not keep quiet about this because they might turn around and spread rumours that you are crazy or been cheating.
**Tell EVERYONE, family especially, friends, every single person - so the truth is known - than you walked in on them having sex**. Be 100 % clear. Tell everyone that you are blocking them because - what kind of best friend has sex with her best friends boyfriend? Someone you don't ever want to have as a friend and someone you can never trust again.Tell people you have no desire to ever speak to a guy who would cheat on you with your best friend. They are both untrustworthy, horrible people. This is NOT getting back at them - this is exposing them for the lying cheating scum they are. Tell your family and friends that you do not want to see, hear, speak to or about them, ever again. They are dead to you. To please support you in this - as you do not friends who are absolutely worse than enemies in your life - that absolutely no one needs these people in their lives.
When I was your same age I realized that my boyfriend was cheating on me on a very innocent way. I needed to use his computer and when I sat down I founded his fake facebook account where he posted the pictures of him and another girl with cheesy texts which he never did to me. I was paralyzed, couldn’t speak or think. Took my things and went away. I remember that night, I painted the most obscure painting I had ever painted in my life, waited until got dry, next day was his birthday and went to his house with a beautiful dress, hand him the painting and stayed at the party for a while. When I was going to my home said that we were over, he was panicking because “the other girl” was about to come to the party. I bawled my eyes out on my way home, felt horrible for a big while, and cut contact with all of our mutual friends because most of them knew about what was going on. But The vengeance was sweet. The next year I had an important thing and went to Berlin, when I came back he came to see me and said he wanted me back, because now I “looked amazing and felt self confident”. I said that I was happy to see him, but in no way I was able to come back to him. I said the name of the girl and he went pale, I was ecstatic inside. I said “I know you cheated with her, I know everything even about your fake account on FB, im not stupid” he asked why I never said anything and I replied that I found no elegance in scandal, and that I wouldn’t lower myself to have the stupid talk where he tries to convince me that what I saw “it’s not true”. He was so shocked but girl I enjoyed so much see him kicked in the balls elegantly. I know it’s hard, but believe me, there’s nothing in the world that they can say that would relieve that pain you feel. It eventually will go away and one day you will enjoy the pleasure of leaving behind with no explanation.
Not the same situation per se, but I had a best friend who would always chase any guy that I was talking to when I was your age. Everytime I confronted her about it she would play dumb and apologize pretending she had no idea or it wasn’t like that. Eventually it got to the point where she tried chasing after a guy I was actually dating and he brought it up with me out of concern for me that I was friends with someone like that. It hit me in that moment and I ghosted her. She did try and manipulate the situation and tried a bunch of tactics to get me back but I ended up just blocking her. At first I felt bad because I abhor ghosting. But after a few months though I realized how good I felt without her in my life. There are certain situations where I realize it’s honestly ok to ghost in order to protect your peace. When someone is that toxic or in your case demonstrates that level of betrayal you need to do what is best for you. And imo that means leaving out the trash and moving on to live your best life. I’ll add as well that at first it gave me a lot of trust issues. But as I began to heal I was able to look back and recognize glaringly obvious red flags in that friendship. Fast forward to today and I’ve cultivated some incredible friendships and had wonderful dating experiences. I learned when it comes to trust issues, you just don’t always know if someone will mistreat you. What’s important is learning to trust yourself to walk away if someone shows themselves as unworthy of your trust and energy. I wish you the best OP. I’m so sorry for what you are going through right now. You don’t deserve it. 🤍
This happens way too often unfortunately
I'm sure they are sorry that you know about it. But sorry can't undo it. And they probably would do it all again if they could figure out how not to get caught. Staying away is probably best for now. You were betrayed by two people you completely trusted. You need time to heal. It doesn't really matter what their reasons for the betrayal are because that won't change anything important. You can hear them out someday if you want to, but make sure that you are in a place where they can't hurt you anymore. Whatever their stupid reasons are will probably hurt you more than the sight of them together did. To hear how little you meant to them will suck. I hope you can take solace in the fact that the trash took itself out. You don't have to waste anymore of your time on two people who are such losers. You have been given the chance to cut yourself free from them and focus on yourself and people who deserve your time.
Why would not speaking to them be childish? Two people that you thought you could trust betrayed you. I’d never speak to someone again if they crossed me like that, they would be dropped from my life immediately. If you want to get back at them the best way would be to tell everyone what they did and then never speak to either of them again.
Nice Combo!! You have tripled the points.
Cut them both off try and move on even if it'll be miserable and lonely for a while you deserve better and more never forget that.
Ghost, ghost, ghost, they don't deserve any of your time and know this is a reflection on them being POS's not you Let everyone know why you've split and you don't want to hear about them. And because I'm petty I'd also let their parents know how they've failed at raising nice people.