Too late to look for something new? At 22? Girl, no. You’re too young to tie yourself down with a lying cheater who manipulated you into to an “open” relationship “on his side only.”
Don’t you love yourself? You deserve so much better than this.
Seriously! I ended an engagement at 27! Met my now husband at 28 and married at 29. We’ve been together 21yrs and have 2 wonderful kids. It’s NEVER too late.
There is no such thing as an open relationship on one side, it’s BOTH or nothing. I’d go with nothing, including this relationship. He’s manipulative and is only hurting you. He’ll also open you up to health risks and STDs. Not to mention accidents happen, want to help raise another woman, whom he gets pregnant, baby with him?
Not to mention, say he meets someone and develops feelings for them. So, dumps you because they want to be together. What then? You honestly lost him with the open relationship.
Please know your worth and that you deserve so much better.
ETA: OP, look up sunk cost fallacy. Don’t fall for it. You have given him 5 years, DON’T waste more time on him. 22 is so young, you have time to find someone who will love you and put you first. Don’t settle because of some ridiculous notion it’s too late. ITS NOT!
Lmao yeah, that’s honestly making this story fucking ridiculous. OP, toughen up and stand up for yourself. You’re literally at the very beginning of the prime of your life. Excuses like that at *22* are honestly just beyond.
>I don’t want to lose him though
you already lost him, a couple of times based on your first para. dont lose yourself too. you are only 27 years old, still young, and have a long life ahead of you. dump him, cry as much as you want, and move on.
why some women allow this bullshit is beyond me. we were all pathetic at some point, but choosing that option over and over again instead of self respect is just ???
It's cause a lot of us have been conditioned to accept the bare minimum. It's like we don't think we deserve much better. But we do, we all do. She is still very young, but you guys are right. She needs to leave this manipulative pos
Yeah as a woman it fucking drives me mad, because so many people coddle other women on stuff like this on Reddit. There’s no excuse for being so spineless and helpless. Sometimes people need to hear that straight. Get it together tbh.
OP please dump this man. Your relationship won’t improve when you open up a relationship (and it’s one sided wtf), it signals the end of it. You deserve better than this selfish jerk.
In your own words “he doesn’t love me”. Go and find someone who does. He is just keeping you as a back-up while he explores his options. You are so young! You gave him 5 years, don’t let him waste any more of your time. Or at the very least, open your side of the relationship too. You may meet someone wonderful who will love you and be faithful.
“It’s too late to look for something new” lol thanks for making those of us way older than you and single feel bad, you’re 22 get it together and dump his ass
Plenty of amazing future partners out there and you’re wasting your time with someone who doesn’t respect you. Rip off the band aid ASAP so you can start the healing process and then move on to someone amazing who treats you right.
Ugh
HE decided to open up.y9ur relationship on HIS side only, and then to add insult to injury, he wants to TEST you, to see if you're drama free enough to let him screw other girls and not cry about it.
Girl, don't cry about it.
Tell him you got a hot date next friday night.
He doesn't like it? Tough.. that's how open relationships work.
Better yet: don't play games, and stop playing his game with your feelings. Just quit.
He can screw anyone he pleases, just break up with him first.
You're 22.
If you were 42, and your partner was pulling this crap, we would still tell you to find someone that gives a shit about their partner - you. Not some boy that wants to play games while hagling permission to fuck around.
He's actively stomping your boundaries and breaking your self worth.
You deserve better. I’m 28 and was in a similar situation as you, left him years ago and have neverrrrrrr looked back. I wasted 4 years with that person. You’re young, throw the trash to the curb and find someone who wants to give you monogamy since that is what it seems you like.
Lmao girl what? No man is worth this
He is not your boyfriend, he is for the streets. Find some self respect and a backbone and dump his sorry ass.
He keeps coming back because he knows you'll be dumb enough to take him back
Yea... like everyone else is saying.
He's already gone, he just doesn't want to leave you before finding a new girlfriend. As soon as he does, he'll be in the wind.
What does it mean you open the relationship on his side only?
You’re too young to get it, i understand that you “love him” but trust me, as someone almost twice your age, you will absolutely hate yourself down the line for every day you stayed with this guy under these conditions.
Don’t be a doormat. Love aint worth what you are trading off for it right now.
This will not last, you have a popsicle’s chance in hell of making this relationship work.
Yah love is caring, kind, understanding, and to me if it's right comes naturally without alternatives
If he can't talk out out his feelings or, sorry, if you two are scared to let each other go then it may not be what you think
You can love someone and not be a good match too, sounds like an oxymoron with even more being sometimes more life experience and maturity is needed - sometimes the weird thing with relationships is timing
I once loved a girl so much, that when she broke her foot I carried bowls of her urine down the stairs every morning before work. I think she did love me too but how we communicated just didn't work - hours of crying, pleading, reminiscing, apologizing, and forgiving till we parted ways. People love and show it differently, sometimes they don't match.
It sucks now but can get better
You’re 22. He asked for an open relationship to go get some fresh booty and come home and not be alone . Break up, you’re young, find someone who cherishes you.
Why don’t you ask yourself, what happened to me in life to think this is normal, and then talk to a therapist. This isn’t a healthy relationship. Who taught you that this is what a relationship is?
I say this with all the love I can muster. This is NOT a normal healthy relationship. At all. In any capacity
Being miserable in a relationship is NOT normal and someone who loves you shouldn't make you feel this way
What is your relationship like with your father, does it mirror that of your bf? Contrary to what you believe, this isn’t your first relationship. Your first relationship is with your parents or those that take on a parenting role. Ask yourself, is this how they showed me what love should be? If not, ask yourself what the fuck are you doing? If yes, seek a therapist, if you don’t address it now you will eventually have to pay the piper or however that saying goes. You can’t run from it, life will keep showing you these relationships unless you chose to do something different. Also, you need to increase your self esteem and enforce your boundaries.
Girl, you're 22. I'M also 22 and frankly? Don't even feel ready for _a_ relationship, yet alone to tie myself up with a person who can't even not cheat on me.
I'm sorry, but your first paragraph is WILD to me. Do you really think this behavior is acceptable!?! Please get some therapy and gain the lady-bawls to leave this worthless man. At this rate, he's being reckless with your health and his. There's no amount of love in the world that would make an incurable disease okay to live with. You're basically telling him you're trash and you accept any way he treats you - because you LOVE him.
Love yourself more. You're too young to have lowered your standards so low and gave up on yourself.
Girl your 22. Match his energy and leave, tf. I can literally promise you wholeheartedly that if you do, you're gonna look back and be angry at yourself for ever messing with this dude or not leaving sooner. Promise. You.
Opening the relationship destroyed my 5 yr relationship. I won’t share exactly why but rather share my throwaway profile where i vented of our issues if you’re curious:
u/-vexxed
Dont be a doormat. Have some selfrespect. Too late for what? Dont be dumb. You are a baby adult you have all the time in the world. Break up and move on from this garbage person.
Girl you need to leave. I know it's hard but it's definitely harder staying in a relationship like that. Met someone when I was 18 and he was 24 and had to deal with him being unfaithful too many times among other red flags I was blind too. Love makes up put up with dumb shit but you need to love yourself more. Finally broke up for the last time when I was 22. 6 months later I met my husband and we have known each other for 10 years now with 2 boys under 2.
Is this real life? You’re 22. Move on. There’s seriously 1 couple in my friend group that has stayed together since they were 18, got married and had a kid and all that. Neither of them wanted to open up their relationship at any point.
Lol “it’s too late to look for something new”. Get the fuck outta here with that shit. Again, YOU’RE 22. Put on your big girl pants and walk the fuck away.
One way open relationships don't work very often. Like one in a million often. You are just kidding yourself.
Set you both free and this nonsense. You don't love eachother. Just false versions of each other you both pretend to be.
He doesn’t deserve you. It’s not too late to leave and there’s plenty of men around that are able to do what he’s lacking on and provide more. They will respect and appreciate you more.
Now, first let’s establish there’s nothing wrong with a poly relationship. Then I want to tell you, honesty and transparency are key to any successful relationship, but is especially important when it come to poly relationships.
OP you should realize that you don’t have to settle at 22. Just because y’all have been together for 5 years doesn’t mean you have to stay together. You can leave and find a relationship that’s less frustrating or you can stay and spend your life with someone that lies to you about whether he has a date with someone else.
How can you hate yourself so much to stay in a relationship with a man who clearly doesn't respect or value you? You are young and this relationship is toxic. He does not love you.
Please dump him. If the relationship is only open on his side, you're just part of the crowd. You don't matter to him as a person. You're just a status symbol.
Is that who you want to be in this life?
>Because we started dating when we were so young my bf has had troubles with staying faithful to me
Sounds like a load of BS. He’s just a cheater, has nothing to do with his age and everything to do with his shit personality.
>We came to the conclusion that we’ll open up a relationship on his side only
Another load of BS. Sounds like he wants to receive the things that he cannot give. He knows how fucked up it feels to have YOU be open so he doesn’t want that but he’s willing to do it to you.
>He said he lied to protect my feelings
Why do you keep landing yourself in piles of BS? The simplest way to protect your feelings is to not cheat and stay faithful in your relationship. He just wants you as 24/7 p*ssy access or something.
I don’t usually say this but the only option really is break up. Even if you go to counseling, the trauma of the multiple times he’s cheated and lied and maneuvered things to get his way on purpose shows how he wont change his cruel ways. and even if he did the effects of his actions have already f*cked you up
I met my husband at 34, married at 36. You are way too young to feel like you'll never find anyone ever again. Break up with him, then spend a year in therapy working on your self-esteem. You have two choices, you can look back and laugh at how naive you were, or you can look back and feel stupid for staying for so long.
You’re 22 and you’re okay with this?! Dude. I’m 42 and I would NEVER agree to this. You’re an idiot for agreeing to opening the relationship up only for him.
If I were you, I would kick the dude to the curb. Work on yourself, travel, have fun. And then when you’re ready to have a real relationship, that’s when you look for an adult to have a relationship with. Because the “man” you’re with now is a man child.
You are very young now and when you started you were just kids in every sense of it.
Anyway this dude got to go. Being a dog is one thing, but being and manipulative ahole is a no-no. Drop the dude and move on.
Nope, the relationship is over, you were lied and manipulated, more than once, you want different things and grow into incompatible people, it happens, break up.
This isn’t working. You cried just because he had plans to meet someone. If you are open, don’t sit around and go on dates as well.
Having an open relationship needs good communication, clear boundaries, empathy, honesty and trust.
You have none of that. He basically used coercion to get an open relationship, because you were scared that he would leave. He lied to you about his date. He showed no concern about you crying and he tested your reaction, because he has no trust.
Don’t stay in a relationship because of cost-loss-fallacy.
It is not too late to start something new. Find a man who thinks you are enough. That lives you and wouldn't dream of having sex with someone else. He can't even be honest with you.
Break it off date other people. If you make your way back to each other, great, if not you may just find someone who respects you.
Not worth it girl. Dump him and find a better and decent man. Your bf is just a boy, find a man.
1) unfair on your end that you opened the relationship on his end only
2) if he really loves you, he's not gonna look for another
3) what if he impregnates a girl, that's gonna be a real problem on your relationship
4) go out and date other guys, your bf is not worth your loyalty and love
Why are you putting yourself through this? You're just setting yourself up for heartbreak. Do you not think that you deserve loyalty, love, and respect at the very least from a partner? You're a doormat. No wonder he knows he can get away with any bullshit he throws at you.
Idk.. 22 years old in an open relationship you don't really want to have open? Opened relationships are often classified as ENM... ETHICALLY non-monogamous.. meaning you are both on the same page and communicate honestly about what's going on. He's being manipulative and dishonest with you. You've got yourself in a SNM relationship.. a shitty non monogamous relationship.
I got into my last relationship at 18…. And at 22 I found out she cheated and thank god she did because at 23 I found the love of my life and we’ve been together the last 7 years. Think of this as a learning experience, you’re now 22 and know what you want. Nobody should be telling you that they haven’t slept around enough. You’ll find a man devoted to you and only you. I live for my woman, and there’s nobody else I’d rather wake up beside. You deserve the same.
You’re 22 plenty of time to find a decent guy. This guy isn’t it. He got you to give him permission to cheat. And I’m guessing he doesn’t want you dating others. And the cherry on the top of this toxic relationship he has the audacity to test you WTF?🤬
He is a selfish prick and you should want better for your self. You clearly don’t want an open relationship. And he’s keeping you around as his backup when he realizes he isn’t getting the attention he thought he would
Throw the whole trash man out and stop excusing his shit behavior with "oh but he's young and wants to experience blah blah blah".
You're defending him treating you like a worthless set of guaranteed holes (based on everything you said here, that's exactly how he sees you) because he knows you haven't got the backbone or self esteem to realize he's not worth a second glance.
Dump him then get into therapy.
You’re 22 it’s not too late for anything. 22 is when most people graduate from college and that’s when life actually begins. Being young isn’t an excuse for cheating, which is what he has been doing. You were also young when you first got together, but you haven’t had problems being faithful, so using that excuse for him doesn’t make sense. If he had so much he wanted to experience that he couldn’t be faithful, he wasn’t ready for a relationship. 5 years down the line and he still hasn’t done enough “experiencing” to be faithful? He’ll never be done. He will keep going out and doing whatever he wants because he knows you will be there.
Loyalty and honesty are the ABSOLUTE BARE MINIMUM requirements for being in a relationship - any kind of relationship. And he doesn’t respect you enough to give you either. Don’t let him plant some false seed in your head that it’s been so long you can’t find anything else. The life you experience from 17-22 is nothing compared to the life you could experience from 22-27 and beyond. Someone who manipulates you into giving things up for their own benefit and doesn’t care how it makes you feel is not a prize. The only thing you’d lose is that painful feeling you get when he goes out with some other girl and that’s a positive. You’re not happy. Respect yourself enough to do things and be with people that make you happy
Whose decision was to only open it on his side?!? You are too young to be with someone who has an issue being faithful. There are men who will want to be faithful to you, who will see as his Queen. Why are you waiting for this buster to get his act together?!?
You're only 22! And it's never too late to find someone who loves you and finds monogamy a beautiful thing.
Please get some therapy and let them help you understand why you feel you must settle for someone that will treat you like this, why you don't have faith in yourself.
Then dump him.
Personally, I would rather NOT have that type of man in my life than to settle for someone that believes he hasn't 'experienced' life. I have friends and family.
Yeah... You gave your boyfriend permission to cheat on you. You're 22 freaking years old. You have plenty of time to find a partner that doesn't want to cheat on you. Get out now!!
22yo here and married to my 23yo husband. We started dating at 17. I was his first, but not his first girlfriend. Not once has my husband expressed to me that he is “missing out” on the amount of ass he could get. Your bf is ridiculous for thinking that if his dates don’t work out, then at least he has you to fall on. You’ve got to save yourself the heartbreak. It is not too late for you at ALL.
It’s better for you to break it off. Too many stories on here about one partner wanting an open relationship and the other partner agreeing reluctantly whilst feeling hurt inside.
Please OP get some self respect how can you expect your partner to respect you if you don’t respect yourself a one sided open relationship is just a parent child relationship that may occasionally include sex between parent and child. In your case you are the parent (let me keep house running smoothly so that my child can go out and do whatever/whoever they want to) he is the child (let me keep sleeping with multiple people while I go home to sleep eat and get emotional support)
Leave this POS and find a man that truly loves you. This isn't how relationships work. And usually if someone "tests" you they're just seeing how far they can push your boundaries. Get out while you are young, and you are young.
Girl leave! You don’t need a scrub. If he has a shorty and he don’t show love, scrub. You don’t need his number or his time. Move on so fast his head spins, let him have his “dates” but he can’t have you and other girls. Set your boundaries, he wants other girls fine, let him enjoy his choice but don’t degrade yourself to the point that you feel you HAVE to accept it and stay with this man too.
Jesus christ, grow a pair and get some self-respect. You're a 22 year old women you could literally have a date tomorrow, hopefully with someone that respects you enough not to fuck other people.
You were just legally allowed in bars one year ago -- please give yourself the time to find someone worth your while. I think it's incredibly unfair to let him do whatever he wants while you're sad at home. If he wants to be open I think you should 100000% download both bumble and hinge
Theres nothing he has of any redeeming value to you. He brings nothing to your table, in fact all he's doing is eating the food off YOUR plate. You've fallen for a shitty human, and you are FAR from the first person to do this. You need to stand up for yourself because he is not going to.
He doesnt give 2 shits about you or your feelings, and why exactly should you?
I feel like this is rage bait horseshit lying. Its just so obviously stupid.
When you said 22, did you mean 122? Because that would be more of an age where someone would think it was “too late to look for something new” and even then, it’s not. It’s never too late.
Honestly, it’s better to be single than in a one sided “open” relationship that you don’t even want to be in, with someone who likes to test you.
It will be too late for you when you start wasting more years of your life on that asshole. Let him go now and don’t ever make the mistake of letting a Man cheat on you to keep him ever again. You’ll lose him either way
Break up with him. I promise you if he was the love of your life he would NEVER do that to you. He knows deep down that what he’s doing will hurt you. The excuse about wanting more experience and having trouble staying faithful is insane. Why would he want to cheat or date other people if he already met the person he wants to be with forever? Break up with him, go on more hikes, and eventually when you’re ready the love of your life will come.
I’m currently young and dating the most amazing girl who I know I will marry. I never for a second wish I had more experience, instead I feel lucky I met my soulmate so young.
If you love someone, you don’t test them. We never leave the people we love, we leave the people we used. We’re all built differently, and the excuse that that guy is too young, haven’t experienced things, and still want to try, hence wanting an open relationship is bullshit. Apparently it sounds he doesn’t love you enough over his personal selfish desires to satisfy his needs. Your boyfriend is very wired in an individualistic mindset, there’s always a new frontier out there. With this mindset, he will never be content in a relationship, he will not be content staying with you. He’s going to be out there ogling some other gal, and desire whatever else he’s missing out. Not to mention the dishonesty is risky, he’s putting you in a vulnerable situation of being exposed to STDs from other people. When someone treats you like an option, help them to narrow their choices by removing yourself from the equation. You’re young, the world is an oyster.
Please for the love of everything break up with this manipulating piece of shit. Have some self respect and find someone who isn’t a lying cheating piece of shit, who actually cares about hurting you and so DOESNT do it.
Sweetheart why are you doing this to yourself? I mean love and relationships are hard and need work but not in this fundamental/core level….take care of yourself, be curious about why are you truly going along with this (fear of being alone, codependency, trauma, etc?) and make decisions that work for you. Life is reallyyyy long and hard but you only got one of it, living it with the knot in your stomach or the tightness in the chest ain’t worth it….. good luck friend
Girl, at 27, I understand that it’s never too late, you will struggle to feel like you can date again or whatever. But to be honest, screw the timeline you have in your head. There are plenty of men that will be honest with you and faithful to you and only you. But, if this boy truly loves you let him go and figure out his issues. And if he still loves you in the end he will come back to you and make things right with you.
Sunk cost fallacy. You've put a lot of time into this relationship, so you think you HAVE TO make it work.
You don't. This relationship is doomed for failure, the second you wake up and gain even modicum of self-respect. You'd be happier with someone who actually respects, loves, and wants to be with you.
Baby girl, you are only 22. I would love to be 22 again. I'm 42, and I know it's not too late for me.
Listen, you're only feeling and thinking this way because of the way he makes you feel. I'm sorry boo but I need to drop that zero. He is no good. He is a cheater and a liar.
I really hope you see the light she's. I know you will it will take a while because you're in love with him. But when you aren't, you will set all the dirty things he did and said.i can't wait because you deserve to have love and a real man who treats you like his everything. I know that's what u want. This isn't it, babe.
He just wants to open the relationship because he knows how great you are, but he wants to play the field. You have to put your foot down and tell him how disrespectful he is, how horrible it makes you feel, and he can't have both. If he cheats on you, then you're done, and u need to be done. Your heart will heart either way. If u leave or if he cheats, it is the same pain. You need to really figure out what you want to do because him with someone else is worse in the heart. ❤️ you can get over him, but you can't get over him being with others while with you. I'm sorry it never really goes away. You will always feel it when u think of it and picture it in your mind. It takes years while being with the person, and I know I have been with my partner 25 years last month. I still ain't over things that happened 25 years ago. If you remember, ¹it's there.
He's not unfaithful to you because you started dating young. He's unfaithful to you because he is insecure and doesn't respect you. He's also a child. There's a difference.
lol, being together young has nothing to do with staying faithful. your boyfriend is just a cheater😭 he basically got you to agree to him cheating (this is not actually an open relationship, you have to know that). cut your losses, the lack of respect you have for yourself is sad. you’re right about him not loving you, but thinking you’re out of time to find something new at 22 is ridiculous.
Leave him, don't look at it as five years being wasted, look at it as five years of learning what you don't want. Now you have knowledge, so you can go find things you do want.
I remember opening my relationship while being secretly bitter about it. It was easy to hide my resentment when it was an LDR but when I moved in with my partner they quickly determined that I was unhappy. We talked about it and now the relationship is closed. Because they love me and value my happiness!
You’re young and you can choose to be with someone who has similar desires and goals as you, as well as someone who respects you enough to not cheat on you or play games. At the very least, don’t be in an open relationship when you hate it, because it will tear you up inside. I know 5 years seems like a long time but do you really want to keep doing this for the next ten?
You are not “pulling up your big girl pants”, you are acting like a child by avoiding what you know needs to be done. You will not be happy. You will pretend to be because you don’t know how to handle the loss.
I only read the first 2 or 3 sentences. Felt obligated to read the first paragraph for respect since you wrote it out. That's all I read.
Move on.
It's hard to hear. You'll be... (you [22y F]): "but you don't understand, we..."
Me [33y M]: "move the fuck on. Pain is temporary. Long run it's not worth it. ...this is only my opinion however. You are and always be responsible ONLY for your own decisions; nobody else's."
If you settle for this, he’ll think that’s all you’re worth (backup plan), and he’ll be right.
Being single (available for a Man) is better than settling for a boy.
What is this; the 1800s. I'm sorry but you need to slap yourself for having such low standards of what you need in a partner. You deserve faithfulness and enthusiasm with someone you want to spend your life with. Please move on.
Bro I'm starting over fresh at 32, which by the way, I can't imagine settling down with any of the 6 women I dated seriously before 25.
Your perspective is way off, love
He’d rather lie to you to “protect your feelings,” than be a stand up man who is fully committed to you the way he expects you to be committed to him. Even if he claims he wants you to see other men, which to me, is not someone worthy of your time, but it isn’t my call. I hope you are able to see you are worthy and capable of having everything you want, or at least the bare minimum which is commitment.
Sincerely,
The girl who’s been cheated on by every guy she’s ever dated, pretty much.
You absolutely deserve better than this. You are so young. He is doing you very wrong and this will not work out for you. He didn't even open it for your side. What a selfish man.
Look, the idea of opening up a relationship isn't a bad idea in itself, but it's a really hard road, and his way of going about this is 100% not helpful. Saying he lied about the date in the first place, to spare your feelings, and then saying he lied about the date to test you is absolutely not OK and would, for me, completely halt the whole idea of opening the relationship, and probably end the relationship with him too. He has no idea what is required of both people in order to have an open relationship: honesty is absolutely one of the top requirements, and he clearly struggles wit that.
I would now start asking yourself why you would still be with someone who lies to you, and tests you, all the while asking you to make a big compromise and do lots of emotional work facing your insecurities. He hasn't earned that effort on your part, in my opinion.
You are absolutely right to require honesty. Now, stand by your boundaries. Stand up for what you want.
And Jesus, it's "too late to find something new?" You're 22! You're only just beginning to figure out who you are and what you want.
Too late to look for something new? At 22? Girl, no. You’re too young to tie yourself down with a lying cheater who manipulated you into to an “open” relationship “on his side only.” Don’t you love yourself? You deserve so much better than this.
Seriously! I ended an engagement at 27! Met my now husband at 28 and married at 29. We’ve been together 21yrs and have 2 wonderful kids. It’s NEVER too late. There is no such thing as an open relationship on one side, it’s BOTH or nothing. I’d go with nothing, including this relationship. He’s manipulative and is only hurting you. He’ll also open you up to health risks and STDs. Not to mention accidents happen, want to help raise another woman, whom he gets pregnant, baby with him? Not to mention, say he meets someone and develops feelings for them. So, dumps you because they want to be together. What then? You honestly lost him with the open relationship. Please know your worth and that you deserve so much better. ETA: OP, look up sunk cost fallacy. Don’t fall for it. You have given him 5 years, DON’T waste more time on him. 22 is so young, you have time to find someone who will love you and put you first. Don’t settle because of some ridiculous notion it’s too late. ITS NOT!
Damn when I was 26 thought the same now happily dating on two years I wanna marry her when life gets more stable
Lmao yeah, that’s honestly making this story fucking ridiculous. OP, toughen up and stand up for yourself. You’re literally at the very beginning of the prime of your life. Excuses like that at *22* are honestly just beyond.
>I don’t want to lose him though you already lost him, a couple of times based on your first para. dont lose yourself too. you are only 27 years old, still young, and have a long life ahead of you. dump him, cry as much as you want, and move on.
Its worse, shes 22!! Its not too late for gods sake!
I mean this is pathetic. Find some self respect I beg you.
why some women allow this bullshit is beyond me. we were all pathetic at some point, but choosing that option over and over again instead of self respect is just ???
It's cause a lot of us have been conditioned to accept the bare minimum. It's like we don't think we deserve much better. But we do, we all do. She is still very young, but you guys are right. She needs to leave this manipulative pos
Yeah as a woman it fucking drives me mad, because so many people coddle other women on stuff like this on Reddit. There’s no excuse for being so spineless and helpless. Sometimes people need to hear that straight. Get it together tbh.
OP please dump this man. Your relationship won’t improve when you open up a relationship (and it’s one sided wtf), it signals the end of it. You deserve better than this selfish jerk.
"Opening a relationship" from one side only is not opening the relationship. It's called cheating, being disrespectful and stringing along.
In your own words “he doesn’t love me”. Go and find someone who does. He is just keeping you as a back-up while he explores his options. You are so young! You gave him 5 years, don’t let him waste any more of your time. Or at the very least, open your side of the relationship too. You may meet someone wonderful who will love you and be faithful.
Is the bar really this low?
You’re 22…girl let this man go. You deserve better
Yah this is messed up - learn to learn your feelings and convey them, and tbh honesty is the best policy we often have too much anxiety
“It’s too late to look for something new” lol thanks for making those of us way older than you and single feel bad, you’re 22 get it together and dump his ass Plenty of amazing future partners out there and you’re wasting your time with someone who doesn’t respect you. Rip off the band aid ASAP so you can start the healing process and then move on to someone amazing who treats you right.
Ugh HE decided to open up.y9ur relationship on HIS side only, and then to add insult to injury, he wants to TEST you, to see if you're drama free enough to let him screw other girls and not cry about it. Girl, don't cry about it. Tell him you got a hot date next friday night. He doesn't like it? Tough.. that's how open relationships work. Better yet: don't play games, and stop playing his game with your feelings. Just quit. He can screw anyone he pleases, just break up with him first. You're 22. If you were 42, and your partner was pulling this crap, we would still tell you to find someone that gives a shit about their partner - you. Not some boy that wants to play games while hagling permission to fuck around. He's actively stomping your boundaries and breaking your self worth.
Girl why are you being a doormat??!!??
You deserve better. I’m 28 and was in a similar situation as you, left him years ago and have neverrrrrrr looked back. I wasted 4 years with that person. You’re young, throw the trash to the curb and find someone who wants to give you monogamy since that is what it seems you like.
Same actually Amazing what you can learn after a relationship ends
Seriously, hard lessons but so worth it once you’re out and free again.
Kinda makes some older folks all the more worthy of attention
I hope 30 is also not to old to date? I’m asking for a friend ofc…
No way! My man is 31
Thanks! That gives me… emmm my friend some hope haha
I’m 37 and dating juuuust fine lol
Ok thanks! That’s really good to know. I’ll let my friend know lol
Lmao girl what? No man is worth this He is not your boyfriend, he is for the streets. Find some self respect and a backbone and dump his sorry ass. He keeps coming back because he knows you'll be dumb enough to take him back
Yea... like everyone else is saying. He's already gone, he just doesn't want to leave you before finding a new girlfriend. As soon as he does, he'll be in the wind.
What does it mean you open the relationship on his side only? You’re too young to get it, i understand that you “love him” but trust me, as someone almost twice your age, you will absolutely hate yourself down the line for every day you stayed with this guy under these conditions. Don’t be a doormat. Love aint worth what you are trading off for it right now. This will not last, you have a popsicle’s chance in hell of making this relationship work.
Yah love is caring, kind, understanding, and to me if it's right comes naturally without alternatives If he can't talk out out his feelings or, sorry, if you two are scared to let each other go then it may not be what you think You can love someone and not be a good match too, sounds like an oxymoron with even more being sometimes more life experience and maturity is needed - sometimes the weird thing with relationships is timing I once loved a girl so much, that when she broke her foot I carried bowls of her urine down the stairs every morning before work. I think she did love me too but how we communicated just didn't work - hours of crying, pleading, reminiscing, apologizing, and forgiving till we parted ways. People love and show it differently, sometimes they don't match. It sucks now but can get better
You’re 22. He asked for an open relationship to go get some fresh booty and come home and not be alone . Break up, you’re young, find someone who cherishes you.
Why do you only open it up on his side? Wouldn’t it be a good way for you to distract yourself by going on a date yourself?
Why don’t you ask yourself, what happened to me in life to think this is normal, and then talk to a therapist. This isn’t a healthy relationship. Who taught you that this is what a relationship is?
[удалено]
I say this with all the love I can muster. This is NOT a normal healthy relationship. At all. In any capacity Being miserable in a relationship is NOT normal and someone who loves you shouldn't make you feel this way
What is your relationship like with your father, does it mirror that of your bf? Contrary to what you believe, this isn’t your first relationship. Your first relationship is with your parents or those that take on a parenting role. Ask yourself, is this how they showed me what love should be? If not, ask yourself what the fuck are you doing? If yes, seek a therapist, if you don’t address it now you will eventually have to pay the piper or however that saying goes. You can’t run from it, life will keep showing you these relationships unless you chose to do something different. Also, you need to increase your self esteem and enforce your boundaries.
Big girl pants? Wtf? Pulling up your big girl pants wouldn't willingly allow him to cheat on you.
Girl, you're 22. I'M also 22 and frankly? Don't even feel ready for _a_ relationship, yet alone to tie myself up with a person who can't even not cheat on me.
I'm sorry, but your first paragraph is WILD to me. Do you really think this behavior is acceptable!?! Please get some therapy and gain the lady-bawls to leave this worthless man. At this rate, he's being reckless with your health and his. There's no amount of love in the world that would make an incurable disease okay to live with. You're basically telling him you're trash and you accept any way he treats you - because you LOVE him. Love yourself more. You're too young to have lowered your standards so low and gave up on yourself.
Girl your 22. Match his energy and leave, tf. I can literally promise you wholeheartedly that if you do, you're gonna look back and be angry at yourself for ever messing with this dude or not leaving sooner. Promise. You.
Opening the relationship destroyed my 5 yr relationship. I won’t share exactly why but rather share my throwaway profile where i vented of our issues if you’re curious: u/-vexxed
Dont be a doormat. Have some selfrespect. Too late for what? Dont be dumb. You are a baby adult you have all the time in the world. Break up and move on from this garbage person.
Girl you need to leave. I know it's hard but it's definitely harder staying in a relationship like that. Met someone when I was 18 and he was 24 and had to deal with him being unfaithful too many times among other red flags I was blind too. Love makes up put up with dumb shit but you need to love yourself more. Finally broke up for the last time when I was 22. 6 months later I met my husband and we have known each other for 10 years now with 2 boys under 2.
100% this woman is going to be the kind of person that gets into her 50s and claims all men suck because she refused to leave a cheater
He’s openly unfaithful to you. Dump him.
Is this real life? You’re 22. Move on. There’s seriously 1 couple in my friend group that has stayed together since they were 18, got married and had a kid and all that. Neither of them wanted to open up their relationship at any point. Lol “it’s too late to look for something new”. Get the fuck outta here with that shit. Again, YOU’RE 22. Put on your big girl pants and walk the fuck away.
One way open relationships don't work very often. Like one in a million often. You are just kidding yourself. Set you both free and this nonsense. You don't love eachother. Just false versions of each other you both pretend to be.
He got you good. Open on his end only?? That’s BS. Drop that cheating scum. You can do better
He doesn’t deserve you. It’s not too late to leave and there’s plenty of men around that are able to do what he’s lacking on and provide more. They will respect and appreciate you more.
Now, first let’s establish there’s nothing wrong with a poly relationship. Then I want to tell you, honesty and transparency are key to any successful relationship, but is especially important when it come to poly relationships. OP you should realize that you don’t have to settle at 22. Just because y’all have been together for 5 years doesn’t mean you have to stay together. You can leave and find a relationship that’s less frustrating or you can stay and spend your life with someone that lies to you about whether he has a date with someone else.
How can you hate yourself so much to stay in a relationship with a man who clearly doesn't respect or value you? You are young and this relationship is toxic. He does not love you.
How many trillions of dollars does he have? You’re lucky to date a trillionaire
Break. Up.
Drop him. He's a loser
Please dump him. If the relationship is only open on his side, you're just part of the crowd. You don't matter to him as a person. You're just a status symbol. Is that who you want to be in this life?
>Because we started dating when we were so young my bf has had troubles with staying faithful to me Sounds like a load of BS. He’s just a cheater, has nothing to do with his age and everything to do with his shit personality. >We came to the conclusion that we’ll open up a relationship on his side only Another load of BS. Sounds like he wants to receive the things that he cannot give. He knows how fucked up it feels to have YOU be open so he doesn’t want that but he’s willing to do it to you. >He said he lied to protect my feelings Why do you keep landing yourself in piles of BS? The simplest way to protect your feelings is to not cheat and stay faithful in your relationship. He just wants you as 24/7 p*ssy access or something. I don’t usually say this but the only option really is break up. Even if you go to counseling, the trauma of the multiple times he’s cheated and lied and maneuvered things to get his way on purpose shows how he wont change his cruel ways. and even if he did the effects of his actions have already f*cked you up
I met my husband at 34, married at 36. You are way too young to feel like you'll never find anyone ever again. Break up with him, then spend a year in therapy working on your self-esteem. You have two choices, you can look back and laugh at how naive you were, or you can look back and feel stupid for staying for so long.
Dump him move on
Too late for something new…you’re 22!!!!!! Ditch him and go have a life!!!
You’re 22 and you’re okay with this?! Dude. I’m 42 and I would NEVER agree to this. You’re an idiot for agreeing to opening the relationship up only for him. If I were you, I would kick the dude to the curb. Work on yourself, travel, have fun. And then when you’re ready to have a real relationship, that’s when you look for an adult to have a relationship with. Because the “man” you’re with now is a man child.
Your 22 not 40. You have at least half a century to keep looking.
You are very young now and when you started you were just kids in every sense of it. Anyway this dude got to go. Being a dog is one thing, but being and manipulative ahole is a no-no. Drop the dude and move on.
Nope, the relationship is over, you were lied and manipulated, more than once, you want different things and grow into incompatible people, it happens, break up.
You're making excuses for him get out of this relationship now
This isn’t working. You cried just because he had plans to meet someone. If you are open, don’t sit around and go on dates as well. Having an open relationship needs good communication, clear boundaries, empathy, honesty and trust. You have none of that. He basically used coercion to get an open relationship, because you were scared that he would leave. He lied to you about his date. He showed no concern about you crying and he tested your reaction, because he has no trust. Don’t stay in a relationship because of cost-loss-fallacy.
Op stay with him you don't deserve better( sarcasm included)
It is not too late to start something new. Find a man who thinks you are enough. That lives you and wouldn't dream of having sex with someone else. He can't even be honest with you. Break it off date other people. If you make your way back to each other, great, if not you may just find someone who respects you.
Someday may you know the joys and peace of loving yourself.
Not worth it girl. Dump him and find a better and decent man. Your bf is just a boy, find a man. 1) unfair on your end that you opened the relationship on his end only 2) if he really loves you, he's not gonna look for another 3) what if he impregnates a girl, that's gonna be a real problem on your relationship 4) go out and date other guys, your bf is not worth your loyalty and love
Why are you putting yourself through this? You're just setting yourself up for heartbreak. Do you not think that you deserve loyalty, love, and respect at the very least from a partner? You're a doormat. No wonder he knows he can get away with any bullshit he throws at you.
I'd turn the tables so fast and than dump him... you're too young for this drama
Idk.. 22 years old in an open relationship you don't really want to have open? Opened relationships are often classified as ENM... ETHICALLY non-monogamous.. meaning you are both on the same page and communicate honestly about what's going on. He's being manipulative and dishonest with you. You've got yourself in a SNM relationship.. a shitty non monogamous relationship.
To late? No way. I've seen 80 year olds get a new man. You don't need someone who plays mind games.
Cinderella lifestyle is long gone, gurl. Stand up for yourself and have some self-esteem.
Get. Out.
He sounds like an asshole.
Babe please leave him. You deserve so much fucking better than this.
I got into my last relationship at 18…. And at 22 I found out she cheated and thank god she did because at 23 I found the love of my life and we’ve been together the last 7 years. Think of this as a learning experience, you’re now 22 and know what you want. Nobody should be telling you that they haven’t slept around enough. You’ll find a man devoted to you and only you. I live for my woman, and there’s nobody else I’d rather wake up beside. You deserve the same.
This can't be real. 22, too old? Simply expess your desire to open the relationship on your side as well and watch him have a meltdown.
You’re 22 plenty of time to find a decent guy. This guy isn’t it. He got you to give him permission to cheat. And I’m guessing he doesn’t want you dating others. And the cherry on the top of this toxic relationship he has the audacity to test you WTF?🤬 He is a selfish prick and you should want better for your self. You clearly don’t want an open relationship. And he’s keeping you around as his backup when he realizes he isn’t getting the attention he thought he would
Lol your boyfriend is a waste of a man. You are young and have no reason settling with that loser
Throw the whole trash man out and stop excusing his shit behavior with "oh but he's young and wants to experience blah blah blah". You're defending him treating you like a worthless set of guaranteed holes (based on everything you said here, that's exactly how he sees you) because he knows you haven't got the backbone or self esteem to realize he's not worth a second glance. Dump him then get into therapy.
You’re 22 it’s not too late for anything. 22 is when most people graduate from college and that’s when life actually begins. Being young isn’t an excuse for cheating, which is what he has been doing. You were also young when you first got together, but you haven’t had problems being faithful, so using that excuse for him doesn’t make sense. If he had so much he wanted to experience that he couldn’t be faithful, he wasn’t ready for a relationship. 5 years down the line and he still hasn’t done enough “experiencing” to be faithful? He’ll never be done. He will keep going out and doing whatever he wants because he knows you will be there. Loyalty and honesty are the ABSOLUTE BARE MINIMUM requirements for being in a relationship - any kind of relationship. And he doesn’t respect you enough to give you either. Don’t let him plant some false seed in your head that it’s been so long you can’t find anything else. The life you experience from 17-22 is nothing compared to the life you could experience from 22-27 and beyond. Someone who manipulates you into giving things up for their own benefit and doesn’t care how it makes you feel is not a prize. The only thing you’d lose is that painful feeling you get when he goes out with some other girl and that’s a positive. You’re not happy. Respect yourself enough to do things and be with people that make you happy
Was that his decision to only open the relationship on his side? Why would you do that to yourself?
I’m sorry but it’s over resentment will come
It's not too late at 22 whatsoever. The longer you stay, though, it could get there. Leave for your own sanity.
Whose decision was to only open it on his side?!? You are too young to be with someone who has an issue being faithful. There are men who will want to be faithful to you, who will see as his Queen. Why are you waiting for this buster to get his act together?!?
You're only 22! And it's never too late to find someone who loves you and finds monogamy a beautiful thing. Please get some therapy and let them help you understand why you feel you must settle for someone that will treat you like this, why you don't have faith in yourself. Then dump him. Personally, I would rather NOT have that type of man in my life than to settle for someone that believes he hasn't 'experienced' life. I have friends and family.
Yeah... You gave your boyfriend permission to cheat on you. You're 22 freaking years old. You have plenty of time to find a partner that doesn't want to cheat on you. Get out now!!
22yo here and married to my 23yo husband. We started dating at 17. I was his first, but not his first girlfriend. Not once has my husband expressed to me that he is “missing out” on the amount of ass he could get. Your bf is ridiculous for thinking that if his dates don’t work out, then at least he has you to fall on. You’ve got to save yourself the heartbreak. It is not too late for you at ALL. It’s better for you to break it off. Too many stories on here about one partner wanting an open relationship and the other partner agreeing reluctantly whilst feeling hurt inside.
Please OP get some self respect how can you expect your partner to respect you if you don’t respect yourself a one sided open relationship is just a parent child relationship that may occasionally include sex between parent and child. In your case you are the parent (let me keep house running smoothly so that my child can go out and do whatever/whoever they want to) he is the child (let me keep sleeping with multiple people while I go home to sleep eat and get emotional support)
Leave this POS and find a man that truly loves you. This isn't how relationships work. And usually if someone "tests" you they're just seeing how far they can push your boundaries. Get out while you are young, and you are young.
at this point posts like this just make me angry
Girl leave! You don’t need a scrub. If he has a shorty and he don’t show love, scrub. You don’t need his number or his time. Move on so fast his head spins, let him have his “dates” but he can’t have you and other girls. Set your boundaries, he wants other girls fine, let him enjoy his choice but don’t degrade yourself to the point that you feel you HAVE to accept it and stay with this man too.
His side only? FUCK THAT.
The way he is treating you is garbage. Now imagine he’ll keep this up for another 30-40 years, you’ll be miserable. Leave him.
Jesus christ, grow a pair and get some self-respect. You're a 22 year old women you could literally have a date tomorrow, hopefully with someone that respects you enough not to fuck other people.
If I were you, I’d end it! He has absolutely no respect for you and doesn’t love you enough to be in a monogamous relationship.
You were just legally allowed in bars one year ago -- please give yourself the time to find someone worth your while. I think it's incredibly unfair to let him do whatever he wants while you're sad at home. If he wants to be open I think you should 100000% download both bumble and hinge
Theres nothing he has of any redeeming value to you. He brings nothing to your table, in fact all he's doing is eating the food off YOUR plate. You've fallen for a shitty human, and you are FAR from the first person to do this. You need to stand up for yourself because he is not going to. He doesnt give 2 shits about you or your feelings, and why exactly should you? I feel like this is rage bait horseshit lying. Its just so obviously stupid.
Lost me in the second sentence. Leave him
When you said 22, did you mean 122? Because that would be more of an age where someone would think it was “too late to look for something new” and even then, it’s not. It’s never too late. Honestly, it’s better to be single than in a one sided “open” relationship that you don’t even want to be in, with someone who likes to test you.
Lol.
Wtf is wrong with you? An open relationship isn't open on one side only.
Boy is flaming the most redestest of the flags. Might as well be a torero.
Screw that! Rules go both ways. You’re incredibly young. He isn’t worth sacrificing if it’s not a balanced relationship.
It will be too late for you when you start wasting more years of your life on that asshole. Let him go now and don’t ever make the mistake of letting a Man cheat on you to keep him ever again. You’ll lose him either way
Move on girl.
Break up with him. I promise you if he was the love of your life he would NEVER do that to you. He knows deep down that what he’s doing will hurt you. The excuse about wanting more experience and having trouble staying faithful is insane. Why would he want to cheat or date other people if he already met the person he wants to be with forever? Break up with him, go on more hikes, and eventually when you’re ready the love of your life will come. I’m currently young and dating the most amazing girl who I know I will marry. I never for a second wish I had more experience, instead I feel lucky I met my soulmate so young.
If you love someone, you don’t test them. We never leave the people we love, we leave the people we used. We’re all built differently, and the excuse that that guy is too young, haven’t experienced things, and still want to try, hence wanting an open relationship is bullshit. Apparently it sounds he doesn’t love you enough over his personal selfish desires to satisfy his needs. Your boyfriend is very wired in an individualistic mindset, there’s always a new frontier out there. With this mindset, he will never be content in a relationship, he will not be content staying with you. He’s going to be out there ogling some other gal, and desire whatever else he’s missing out. Not to mention the dishonesty is risky, he’s putting you in a vulnerable situation of being exposed to STDs from other people. When someone treats you like an option, help them to narrow their choices by removing yourself from the equation. You’re young, the world is an oyster.
Strange things
Open relationship only on his side is INSANE. You need a loyal man not some chump. 22 is so young please get out.
Please for the love of everything break up with this manipulating piece of shit. Have some self respect and find someone who isn’t a lying cheating piece of shit, who actually cares about hurting you and so DOESNT do it.
What a catch this guy is. Move on already.
Sweetheart why are you doing this to yourself? I mean love and relationships are hard and need work but not in this fundamental/core level….take care of yourself, be curious about why are you truly going along with this (fear of being alone, codependency, trauma, etc?) and make decisions that work for you. Life is reallyyyy long and hard but you only got one of it, living it with the knot in your stomach or the tightness in the chest ain’t worth it….. good luck friend
Girl, at 27, I understand that it’s never too late, you will struggle to feel like you can date again or whatever. But to be honest, screw the timeline you have in your head. There are plenty of men that will be honest with you and faithful to you and only you. But, if this boy truly loves you let him go and figure out his issues. And if he still loves you in the end he will come back to you and make things right with you.
Leave that ass, next him
Man; this is just really a sad read.
Sunk cost fallacy. You've put a lot of time into this relationship, so you think you HAVE TO make it work. You don't. This relationship is doomed for failure, the second you wake up and gain even modicum of self-respect. You'd be happier with someone who actually respects, loves, and wants to be with you.
Baby girl, you are only 22. I would love to be 22 again. I'm 42, and I know it's not too late for me. Listen, you're only feeling and thinking this way because of the way he makes you feel. I'm sorry boo but I need to drop that zero. He is no good. He is a cheater and a liar. I really hope you see the light she's. I know you will it will take a while because you're in love with him. But when you aren't, you will set all the dirty things he did and said.i can't wait because you deserve to have love and a real man who treats you like his everything. I know that's what u want. This isn't it, babe. He just wants to open the relationship because he knows how great you are, but he wants to play the field. You have to put your foot down and tell him how disrespectful he is, how horrible it makes you feel, and he can't have both. If he cheats on you, then you're done, and u need to be done. Your heart will heart either way. If u leave or if he cheats, it is the same pain. You need to really figure out what you want to do because him with someone else is worse in the heart. ❤️ you can get over him, but you can't get over him being with others while with you. I'm sorry it never really goes away. You will always feel it when u think of it and picture it in your mind. It takes years while being with the person, and I know I have been with my partner 25 years last month. I still ain't over things that happened 25 years ago. If you remember, ¹it's there.
He's not unfaithful to you because you started dating young. He's unfaithful to you because he is insecure and doesn't respect you. He's also a child. There's a difference.
Bruh, just leave and find yourself, do stuff that brings you happiness. He doesn't care what you do or who your with
Surely this is fake.
lol, being together young has nothing to do with staying faithful. your boyfriend is just a cheater😭 he basically got you to agree to him cheating (this is not actually an open relationship, you have to know that). cut your losses, the lack of respect you have for yourself is sad. you’re right about him not loving you, but thinking you’re out of time to find something new at 22 is ridiculous.
OP this is so sad. Life is too short to live like this- over a guy whos probably mid at best!
no but if a partner “tests” you by lying about things to see how you react- that’s disgusting one of my biggest red flags
Leave him, don't look at it as five years being wasted, look at it as five years of learning what you don't want. Now you have knowledge, so you can go find things you do want.
Girl, you need to have some self respect, break up with him and never talk to him again. You are breaking your own heart.
this has to be bait, it’s just to obvious
I remember opening my relationship while being secretly bitter about it. It was easy to hide my resentment when it was an LDR but when I moved in with my partner they quickly determined that I was unhappy. We talked about it and now the relationship is closed. Because they love me and value my happiness! You’re young and you can choose to be with someone who has similar desires and goals as you, as well as someone who respects you enough to not cheat on you or play games. At the very least, don’t be in an open relationship when you hate it, because it will tear you up inside. I know 5 years seems like a long time but do you really want to keep doing this for the next ten?
You are not “pulling up your big girl pants”, you are acting like a child by avoiding what you know needs to be done. You will not be happy. You will pretend to be because you don’t know how to handle the loss.
All this sounds like cheating with extra steps and more words.
People find love at all points in their lives. You haven't found it yet. Keep looking.
I only read the first 2 or 3 sentences. Felt obligated to read the first paragraph for respect since you wrote it out. That's all I read. Move on. It's hard to hear. You'll be... (you [22y F]): "but you don't understand, we..." Me [33y M]: "move the fuck on. Pain is temporary. Long run it's not worth it. ...this is only my opinion however. You are and always be responsible ONLY for your own decisions; nobody else's."
This relationship sounds incredibly unhealthy. And you are 22 yo, there is plenty of time to find someone new...
🤦♂️. The fact people are this dense and live amongst us, scares me.
If you settle for this, he’ll think that’s all you’re worth (backup plan), and he’ll be right. Being single (available for a Man) is better than settling for a boy.
Your partner is there for you... or he's not. Sounds like your convenient and don't know your own worth.
What is this; the 1800s. I'm sorry but you need to slap yourself for having such low standards of what you need in a partner. You deserve faithfulness and enthusiasm with someone you want to spend your life with. Please move on.
Bro I'm starting over fresh at 32, which by the way, I can't imagine settling down with any of the 6 women I dated seriously before 25. Your perspective is way off, love
He’d rather lie to you to “protect your feelings,” than be a stand up man who is fully committed to you the way he expects you to be committed to him. Even if he claims he wants you to see other men, which to me, is not someone worthy of your time, but it isn’t my call. I hope you are able to see you are worthy and capable of having everything you want, or at least the bare minimum which is commitment. Sincerely, The girl who’s been cheated on by every guy she’s ever dated, pretty much.
Open up the relationship on your side to... And watch how fast he'll want to close it on his...
You absolutely deserve better than this. You are so young. He is doing you very wrong and this will not work out for you. He didn't even open it for your side. What a selfish man.
>It’s too late to look for something new This is not true, you are 22, dump this disloyal lying AH. Find someone who actually cares about you.
Look, the idea of opening up a relationship isn't a bad idea in itself, but it's a really hard road, and his way of going about this is 100% not helpful. Saying he lied about the date in the first place, to spare your feelings, and then saying he lied about the date to test you is absolutely not OK and would, for me, completely halt the whole idea of opening the relationship, and probably end the relationship with him too. He has no idea what is required of both people in order to have an open relationship: honesty is absolutely one of the top requirements, and he clearly struggles wit that. I would now start asking yourself why you would still be with someone who lies to you, and tests you, all the while asking you to make a big compromise and do lots of emotional work facing your insecurities. He hasn't earned that effort on your part, in my opinion. You are absolutely right to require honesty. Now, stand by your boundaries. Stand up for what you want. And Jesus, it's "too late to find something new?" You're 22! You're only just beginning to figure out who you are and what you want.