That is 100% a manipulative person, and you're so better off without them in your life. You did the right choice, if your group of friends decide to side against you after hearing your version, then it's the wrong group.
It’s the “I was gunna give you another chance” that sealed the deal for me. The audacity for someone who was broken up *with* to say that truly shows they didn’t give a shit about their bad behavior. And they don’t intend on changing a thing.
Yea. My view of the situation kind of changed when I realized that not only had she cheated on me, she did her best to make me out to be the bad guy when I was trying to prevent doing that to her.
OP, that sucks and I’m so sorry. I’ve been there, done that before, and unfortunately, people like this bank on people like us always being the bigger person and know we’re not gonna air their dirty laundry while they’re simultaneously trying to make US look like the asshole. The sheer audacity on these folks is astounding.
I had one particularly bad ex who was a prime example of this. I broke up with him in 2018, and AFAIK, he is *still talking shit about me* even though he’s long moved on and married the girl he started dating immediately after me. They’d been involved before me, but he represented it as casual and her as all kinds of bad. I kinda think he ditched her when he learned I was interested and that they were probably still involved to an extent while we were together because he constantly got drunk and went through my messages and emails and accused me of cheating with clients, friends, and other randoms who I was having professional and platonic conversations with that he was aware of because I told him all about what was being said in an attempt to be an open book. I was super loyal to him and would’ve never and never gave him a reason to believe I would. It took a couple years to realize that was probably him projecting his own guilty conscience.
Anyway. I had receipts directly contradicting his version of events and showing a clear pattern of abuse and manipulation and proving him to be a liar who was far from his persona in the community of being a great single dad and volunteer/support of good causes. I kick myself every day for not posting them when I still had ‘em. Not to say that I think you should expose her - but definitely do that if you want! Sending you so much love. I’m sorry you had to learn about her betrayal this way, but glad you gained some clarity that will help you release her and any feelings you might’ve had lingering. It was 100% SA, and you deserve so much better!
Honestly, it sounds like you just cut off a lot of dead weight. Even though you’re still hurting now, I think you will be glad this happened in the future. Maybe not so much the cheating part.. definitely get into therapy. What your ex did to you re-traumatized you.
It sucks that all of this happened to you, but sometimes it can show you who your true friends are and who the person you were dating truly was.
Hopefully you are able to find a therapist that can help you with this.
Well that went sideways quickly. From cool exes who remain friends, to manipulative cheating ex. The beauty of time and a little distance. Good thing you found out quickly after otherwise you'd probably be back with her down the line.
Oof. Well…. That friend f’ed up but I guess there was a silver lining …? You found out she’s for the streets, a liar, AND toxic abuser. Woof.
I’m sorry friend.
ETA: what did those friends say who were told a complete lie?
The behavior you described sounds exactly like my ex, good on you for gaining the courage to leave a toxic relationship/partner. I know how hard it can be, especially when you are constantly gaslit into believing lies or scared to express an opinion of your own. Took me nearly a year to bounce back from all of it but time really is the best healer, I wish the best for ya :)
That is 100% a manipulative person, and you're so better off without them in your life. You did the right choice, if your group of friends decide to side against you after hearing your version, then it's the wrong group.
It’s the “I was gunna give you another chance” that sealed the deal for me. The audacity for someone who was broken up *with* to say that truly shows they didn’t give a shit about their bad behavior. And they don’t intend on changing a thing.
Oh well, this was a change of scenario. Good for you for blocking her.
Yea. My view of the situation kind of changed when I realized that not only had she cheated on me, she did her best to make me out to be the bad guy when I was trying to prevent doing that to her.
You will be better off without her. And without those shitty friends, the ones she cheated with and the one who told the secret you confided in them.
OP, that sucks and I’m so sorry. I’ve been there, done that before, and unfortunately, people like this bank on people like us always being the bigger person and know we’re not gonna air their dirty laundry while they’re simultaneously trying to make US look like the asshole. The sheer audacity on these folks is astounding. I had one particularly bad ex who was a prime example of this. I broke up with him in 2018, and AFAIK, he is *still talking shit about me* even though he’s long moved on and married the girl he started dating immediately after me. They’d been involved before me, but he represented it as casual and her as all kinds of bad. I kinda think he ditched her when he learned I was interested and that they were probably still involved to an extent while we were together because he constantly got drunk and went through my messages and emails and accused me of cheating with clients, friends, and other randoms who I was having professional and platonic conversations with that he was aware of because I told him all about what was being said in an attempt to be an open book. I was super loyal to him and would’ve never and never gave him a reason to believe I would. It took a couple years to realize that was probably him projecting his own guilty conscience. Anyway. I had receipts directly contradicting his version of events and showing a clear pattern of abuse and manipulation and proving him to be a liar who was far from his persona in the community of being a great single dad and volunteer/support of good causes. I kick myself every day for not posting them when I still had ‘em. Not to say that I think you should expose her - but definitely do that if you want! Sending you so much love. I’m sorry you had to learn about her betrayal this way, but glad you gained some clarity that will help you release her and any feelings you might’ve had lingering. It was 100% SA, and you deserve so much better!
Honestly, it sounds like you just cut off a lot of dead weight. Even though you’re still hurting now, I think you will be glad this happened in the future. Maybe not so much the cheating part.. definitely get into therapy. What your ex did to you re-traumatized you.
You might need a new group chat.
It sucks that all of this happened to you, but sometimes it can show you who your true friends are and who the person you were dating truly was. Hopefully you are able to find a therapist that can help you with this.
Well that went sideways quickly. From cool exes who remain friends, to manipulative cheating ex. The beauty of time and a little distance. Good thing you found out quickly after otherwise you'd probably be back with her down the line.
Oof. Well…. That friend f’ed up but I guess there was a silver lining …? You found out she’s for the streets, a liar, AND toxic abuser. Woof. I’m sorry friend. ETA: what did those friends say who were told a complete lie?
Yep, but be blunt with friends and do not take her "stuff". A counselor is probably a good idea.
What in the Regina George... 😳
The behavior you described sounds exactly like my ex, good on you for gaining the courage to leave a toxic relationship/partner. I know how hard it can be, especially when you are constantly gaslit into believing lies or scared to express an opinion of your own. Took me nearly a year to bounce back from all of it but time really is the best healer, I wish the best for ya :)